


Proxy

by PSebae



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Age Difference, Artificial Intelligence, Friendship, Gen, Giant Robots, Other, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-08-22 11:01:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 64
Words: 247,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8283520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PSebae/pseuds/PSebae
Summary: Sunny Gurlukovich-Emmerich anticipates the day she gets her certification as one of the Metal Gear research and development centre's pilots, and when it finally comes around it should have been a day of celebration. Only another party's interests have been peaked by the legacy of the Peace Walker, and the the new AI based on old technology and an equally old personality takes a sudden and personal interest in the young woman. Unable to resist the temptation of a new technological challenge, Sunny is plunged into a world her uncles had hoped to separate her from and lead straight back into the hands of the man who had destroyed her biological family and tormented her adopted one.





	1. Prologue: Visa Mansion

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: THIS STORY IS FINISHED AND BEING RELEASED EPISODICALLY 3 TIMES A WEEK!
> 
> Disclaimer: This story will be treating the events of Metal Gear Rising as non-canon and will be based only on the information provided in the Metal Gear Solid series with some delineation into headcanon.
> 
> Warnings and Cautions: robot-gore, references to torture, death and violence, character death mentioned in that it takes place long after MGS4 and the deaths there in, nothing worse than in the MGS games.

 

 

15th April, 2007  
South America, The Vista Mansion

Naomi Hunter wrapped her arms around her wasting body, looked from the progress on screen to the unconscious man before her. Ocelot, still dressed only from the waist down in insipid green 'hospital' pyjamas. He'd been working hard to build up the mass he would require for this, their last mission, but in her eyes the old man looked more fragile now than at any other time in their nearly ten year alliance. His head was sunk back into the thin pillow, bony chin tilted up and the papery skin under his jaw vulnerable amid the ribbons of wires that streamed down from the the electrodes on his his high forehead. Under his eyelids his eyes moved rapidly, caught up in memories that she was helping preserve, only to erase them from his mind.  
Only then, when he was no longer even himself, could they fulfill his dreams. With her at the helm, steering the ghost of Liquid where Ocelot had instructed. Then Big Boss would be freed, at the sacrifice of his friend.

It had broken her heart to hear Ocelot speak so badly of himself, 'insignificant' he said, and what could she tell him in order to change his mind, should she even? Tell him of the family he'd been with her brother dead, of the freedom he'd offered when she'd been arrested as a traitor, the home he'd given when she had no where else to go? Without him she'd be dead already, claimed by cancer in a prison hospital, alone, with no one at her side. How could he claim to be insignificant when that little girl had a family because of him, their own dreams and goals funded so hugely, if unknowingly, by his contributions. What else? What else was there that she didn't know? Who else had seen what she had, the compassion and generosity that had been cloaked so superbly by his persona. A persona it seemed that had tricked even him.  
Insignificant indeed.  
Naomi gazed down at him, a footnote on the pages of history, the hard worker behind the figure head, as anonymous as the speech writer, the chauffer. Her friend who she helped now, in this self sacrificial endeavour, only out of loyalty and love. Though she trusted his plan would work, she could not bring herself to believe in it herself.

Filled suddenly with passion for her friend and benefactor's life, Naomi jumped up from her chair. The desire to rip the electrodes off him almost spilling over and winning, she wanted to wake him up, plead with him, this wasn't the right way! There had to be another way! You don't have to destroy yourself! Don't leave me! I need you!  
The words hung on her lips, unsaid and bitter. She wavered over him, a single delicate wall between him and The Patriots, the watchful eye of Big Brother, and her eyes wandered over his corded body, a life mapped out in scars, violence and savagery, the one gun metal arm to replace the one her brother had cut off, a symbol of his deteriorating humanity, his gnarled right hand soaked in the invisible blood of many. She sunk slowly back to her seat and fought back her nausea. No, no it would work, he was right, this was the only way, the only way they could guarantee their safety for long enough to build their strength. Even if it meant deceiving everyone, loosing everyone. Even those who knew him best. A glance at the screen, nearly done, it had been nearly three days, but it was nearly done. She sighed, drip or no he was going to be ravenous when he awoke. Once the Visa Mansion had had its own staff, but now the various people he'd employed around their home had all been dismissed, ready for 'Liquid Ocelot's' arrival. She didn't want to leave his side to prepare anything for him, so she waited, and hoped he would not be too uncomfortable on awaking.

Naomi shivered in the laboratory he had given her, that she was using to destroy him and as he wasn't there to chastise her for her tears, she cried freely over his sleeping form. Outside in the distance something rumbled ominously and Naomi shrunk down into herself, but not out of fear: his people protected the area, they were both quite safe. She shrank back lonely, afraid of loosing her companion and unwilling to admit how the cancer ate at her, drained her energy and left her sickly despite the best efforts of the machines fighting to keep her alive. She knew Ocelot was aware something was wrong, but accepted her excuses of working hard, sleeping badly. He had so much on his mind, and he was prone to worry.

She brushed the tears from her cheeks. It would be time to wake him up soon, then the real process would begin. She shuffled to the small hand basin to rinse the salt from her face and sooth the redness of her skin. It did nothing to calm the bile rising in her gullet.  
It seemed wrong to her, so wrong.

Behind her Ocelot slept, his memories being preserved incase the procedure to hide from The Patriot's failed. Naomi fretted over the wilful destruction of his personality, but was unable to foresee just how reliable her preservation techniques would prove to be.


	2. The Old Days

 

" _They made you into a weapon and told you to find peace_."  
\--  
Sara, littlesoldier.co.vu

 

* * *

 

 

Sunny Gurlukovich-Emmerich--it was her legal name now, she’d had it changed when she was 16--was the ward of Doctor Hal Emmerich and David [REDACTED] (deceased).  
  
Life had not started well for her and she blamed it, when she was joking, on her Grandfather: Sergei Gurlukovich, and blamed it on the Patriot’s agent: Revolver Ocelot, when she wasn’t. She wasn't sure who to blame for things turning out well but she felt her two uncles deserved most of the attention. Sunny was born in 2008 but it was in the 1980s when Ocelot and Sergei, both in GRU, had become friends and the events of her early childhood set in motion. In 2007 Ocelot betrayed Sergei for reasons of his own, killed him and told his daughter, Olga, that he’d been killed by the legendary soldier: Solid Snake. It seemed she’d never believed him but ultimately it hadn't mattered. In 2008 Olga gave birth (the father unknown) and her child was stolen away from her by the secret agency that that had the world in its web: The Patriots. Olga died protecting her child, and Sunny was brought up never having known either of her parents. In 2011 she was saved, Big Mama, Ocelot's once-ally gave a young man of the codename 'Raiden' her whereabouts in exchange for information on Big Boss. He gave Sunny over to David and Hal Emmerich, known by most as Solid Snake and Otacon, who raised her.  
Revolver Ocelot (under the pseudonym of Liquid Ocelot) died in 2014.  
Solid Snake died two years later.  
Sunny's curiosity in their legend, and how it effected her start in life, did not.

By 2029 with the pseudo-destruction of The Patriot’s computer network (technically being controlled by a program built by Otacon, a woman named Naomi Hunter and Sunny herself,) the human race had pushed forwards in many ways, through literature, arts and the sciences. Only a short time had passed but those ideas previously leashed were suddenly allowed to run free; into a world desperate to move on.

SOPS: Sons Of the Patriots Syndrome, an unfortunate side effect of shutting down The Patriots, had ravaged a large percentage of the adult population and multilateralism was the only defence against smaller opportunistic countries looking to invade those crippled by the fall of the War Economy and widen their boarders. The developments set in motion by Liquid Ocelot’s funding and focus, but throttled back by the status quo, had been flung forwards by a people hungry for change but previously starved of it. What happened was the resurrection of old technology in lieu of anything else being available and that was how Hal Emmerich got involved--he was requested to help bring back the lost skills his parents had helped develop in the 70s and 80s. He was reluctant, but it offered him a chance to reenter society as something less like a criminal--as he and Solid Snake had become in the eyes of public--and allowed him to keep a close watch on the development of his family’s accursed machines.

The legacy of the Metal Gear started proper in 1974 with the Peace Walker built by Huey Emmerich and Doctor Strangelove. Doctor Strangelove built the machine's AI in an attempt at finding out why The Boss, the legendary heroine and warrior who went down in history as a traitor and a war criminal, had betrayed her country and turned her back on everything she believed in. The AI running the fail-deadly walking tank was called the Mammal Pod, supported by the uninspiring Reptile Pod, it was built on all the data Strangelove could find on The Boss. It was, in effect, her memories. In a way the AI became The Boss. While most involved would argue that computer was simply echoing her words and had no identity of it's own, Big Boss, her apprentice and the man who’d originally killed her upon her defection from America to the USSR, had been the one to decommission the machine. She had betrayed him again at the last--the weapon put down her weapons and walked into the lake, drowning herself, and saving the world from a nuclear holocaust, but not before telling him that she no longer wanted to fight. The Boss, unwilling to fight, it was to him the ultimate betrayal, of her own ideals and to him. He rejected the memory of the mentor who had haunted him for a decade and Doctor Strangelove found her answer in the resurrected memories of her idol, abandoned her vendetta against The Boss' killer, and joined him in his army.

AIs following the Peace Walker were never the same. Strangelove returned to claim the Peace Walker AI years later, and Huey attempted, and failed to use its design for his own new Metal Gear Sahelanthropus. In the 1980's Strangelove vanished from the history books, and with her, the Peace Walker AI. All others from that day on were entirely synthetic and devoid of any form of consciousness. Until 2015 that is, shortly after Liquid Ocelot’s death. Over 40 years since Peace Walker was destroyed, and 10 years after Hal Emmerich had constructed Metal Gear REX, the plans for and information from Peace Walker were unearthed, and AIs built on the memories of human beings were constructed again. None showed the level of stability and awareness that Peace Walker had, and those designed to operate unmanned were a poor failure, but pilots welcomed them.

They were called MB-AIs: Memory Bank Artificial Intelligences. Pilots loved them. The MB-AI for a given machine could be handpicked and manipulated to exhibit certain traits to best compliment its pilot, or that was the theory, and it seemed to work. Most desirable were those traits associated with reaction time, accuracy and obedience. No one MB-AI was quite the same as another, and from it arose the need for pilot and Metal Gear to ‘imprint' on each other: computer to nanomachines. Able to anticipate its pilot’s whims before the human had even started to move, the speed and plausibility of manned Metal Gears improved and unmanned fell out of favour. Within a few years of their development, problems started to occur: The memory banks the AIs were built upon were too short, once they ran out the AI became unstable and it would either come to a grinding halt or go utterly mad. Many theories sprouted up, some MB-AIs lasted well past their allotted time and it was thought they ended up on a loop or living a life of déjà vu and witnessing the same memories over and over--eventually this drove them to psychosis. Others believed that those MB-AIs that broke down were ‘waking up’ once their memories were exhausted and they were no longer contained within their own previously experienced lifetime and a human mind in a Metal Gear’s body was bound to go insane. In time this phenomenon became known as Resurrecting, though there were no proven cases of it, it entered the collective mind of the populace and MB-AIs died out.

This was not the only fault, though it was the ultimate death sentence of the MB-AI. In the case of machine destruction or pilot death, the survivor was left almost inoperable. Metal Gears wouldn’t react correctly to new pilots and often wouldn’t imprint at all without being taken back to their factory settings, which often led to further complications what with the complex manner in which their AIs worked and depended on consistent memory access. Pilots struggled to work with a new Metal Gear, sometimes outright refusing to even try and exhibited classic symptoms of mourning that far out weighed what was exhibited by those loosing traditional machines. While a human’s reaction could be put down to anthropomorphism of the machine, and the Metal Gear’s to a flaw in the design, no amount of explanation fixed the problem.

With the MB-AIs showing so many signs of weakness, even if the pilots did prefer working with them, the synthetic AIs came back into fashion. They were cheaper and more reliable. Benedict Business Research, the company behind the most popular MB-AIs, made one last attempt to save their floundering investment. They sped up construction of the second largest Metal Gear in existence outside of the Arsenal Gear family: The King Ray. It was supposed to be protection from ocean going threats, more flexible and transferable than the full sized Arsenal Gear models, larger and more threatening than its smaller cousins: RAY.

Speeding up the construction turned out to be the second worst thing they could have done. The worst thing was their choice of memory banks.

The programming went wrong, something within the MB-AI Resurrected, and the King Ray became unbalanced to a high degree. Half the research centre was destroyed, many were killed and the King Ray fled blindly into the wasteland known generally as the Bufferlands. It ended up on the edge of the lake that Peace Walker had drowned herself in, and there it was bombed into submission. Its systems had killed the test pilots through their nanomachines, its reactor may have been damaged, and it might still be online and partially mobile… In the end, no one dared get close enough to the immobilized Metal Gear to turn it off. The King Ray was left to rot in South America, and MB-AIs were finally scrapped. BBR survived by the skin of its CEO's teeth.

Until 2029 when software developments came far enough that a designer, Jude West, from the days of the King Ray put forward a request to build the prototype of a new MB-AI: to test his theories that all the old problems plaguing the system were gone. The prototype could be refitted to take a synthetic AI if need be, so the machine itself wouldn’t be a loss should he be proved wrong. Once he’d agreed to pass the memory banks by Hal Emmerich--who was unshakably against any memories from The Old Days, as he called them, being used for this process no matter how much knowledge might be lost--he was given permission to build the new Metal Gear.

The Wildcat. A new weapon, which in many ways was a throw back to its ancestor: The Peace Walker.


	3. Rising Sun

“ _A ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built fo_ r.”   
\--  
Albert Einstein

 

An old sun rose on a new day, spread nervous fingers of warmth through the cold morning air and and shyly lit up Sunny Gurlukovich-Emmerich's room and all its organised mess. The winter day might be new but the sun was the same old sun that had risen the day before and the day before that, ever since the Earth had first solidified enough to be considered to have a horizon to have a sun rise and set over. Similarly, she was the same Sunny that had fallen asleep the night before, if slightly more fuzzy headed and rather more hungry for breakfast and the ever important first cup of coffee. Sunny had a lot of expectations for the day, seeing the familiar sun rise was one of them and she was not disappointed, the English language is funny that way however, and had she spoken aloud of her expectation it would have taken on an entirely different implication; for the star peeking over the horizon now was not the only sun on the rise, though the world had been absent of this other's harsh light for longer than a mere night.

Sunny wondered what had woken her up in the wee hours, then remembered it was simply November; she was unimpressed as always by the tardiness of the sun. Truly she lived up to her name and was a creature of the daylight. Except for when the sun glared rudely on her computer screen. She buried herself under her bed covers and curled up tightly to block out the reluctant day. Her Uncle Hal was moving about downstairs. Sunny might be in her twenties, but was in no position to move out, nor was she particularly inclined to. She was happy at home, and her uncle was happy to have her, since they were the only family either of them had.  
  
Sunny had shocked everyone by not becoming a programmer or similar. Everyone that is but Hal Emmerich, who knew her best. She’d grown up all but plugged into a computer, riddled with nanomachines to help her interface, and to control her. From the moment her little hands could operate a keyboard The Patriots had revelled in her prowess, they’d stumbled upon a child prodigy and they'd put her to work immediately. While Sunny used computers as a matter of course, she wasn’t interested in pursuing a career in them just yet, it would be like pursuing a career in breathing. Instead Sunny had been enchanted by a different type of machine, Hal was unhappy with her choice but left it to her. Her abilities with machines had meant she’d been snapped up by the company. Though BBR had encouraged her to join their programming sector, she had been stubborn. Given the option of loosing her entirely or allowing her to put her skills to use where she chose, BBR had chosen the latter.

As Jude West's work on the new MB-AI took root Hal had become involved and so the two of them had been uprooted and moved yet again and here they were. Four years of jumping from one training program to another had been hard work, anyone else would have struggled to catch up each time they moved, but Sunny lived up to her legend and kept one step ahead of the rest. She’d finished top of her class. Today she was finally moving from the scrappy training machines to a machine of her own, one that would imprint on her nanomachines and be her’s alone, and she’d fallen asleep last night considering which would be assigned to her and what she felt would suit her best, and if she'd get what she wanted.

Base Epsilon-6 had three REX, slightly different to the first REX built by Dr Emmerich, these were the Metal Gear equivalent of the unloved and overlooked tank that gets blown up gratuitously in the background of an action film. They were put into the hands of the pilots that just about got their certification. They were unromantic workhorses, battered and unspectacular. They lacked the nuclear capability of the original. Epsilon-6 also had two RAY, but they were both unmanned marine variants and only in for maintenance. There was a platoon of Red RAY, those were still amphibious but had been adapted for land ops, and the cream of the crop were the Jackals. There were only four of them, but she knew of one vacancy in their ranks and secretly hoped for that position. The only other was the prototype, and that would be handed over to a specialist test pilot and was utterly out of her reach and not worth concerning herself with just now. She would be lying however if she said she didn't want a go at piloting that one.

Sunny finally rolled out of bed and flipped up the lid of her laptop as she walked past to her robe. The laptop booted up while she washed her face and brushed her teeth, she logged in on the way back past and it loaded her logon while she dressed. A quick read of an email from her first friend, who she’d met all those years ago at Meryl and Johnny’s wedding when she was first allowed to play outside. He was wishing her luck today and moaning that his girlfriend was getting broody because her older sister was pregnant and now he was nervous. Sunny smiled and closed the lid, she’d reply tonight when she had more to tell him. Hal must have heard her get up; he was boiling the kettle again. On the way downstairs she paused at the corner table on the landing, a twin-photo frame contained photos of her mother and of Solid Snake from when the grey hair had just started to show up. He looked unimpressed that his photo was being taken. It was the perfect expression for him: a tight lipped sort-of smile and a glare that almost but not quite hid the humour in those pale sea-grey eyes. Sunny liked to keep a blue rose in a vase by the photos, but there hadn’t been any at the florist’s in weeks, and they were expensive at the best of times, so the vase stood empty. Snake’s tatty blue bandanna was tied around the neck of the vase. She brushed her fingers over it fondly and wished her absent family members “Good morning,” before moving on. It was something she did every morning, but it wasn’t something that had become so mundane as to be considered routine.

Doctor Hal Emmerich was now nearly 50 years old, he was as skinny and harried looking as ever, but with a few more wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. He'd given up dying his hair and had gone back to grey. He had a cane, because he’d slipped on a sock and fallen down the stairs a few years ago and had broken his ankle; it hadn’t healed well. He lived in constant terror as a man, generally inept with women, who'd raised a girl on his own and now had to step aside to allow her to live as a grown woman. Hal had had his share of girlfriends since Snake died, he was too quick to fall in love with the next pitying smile sent his way, but no one had stuck around for very long. It had been a while since there was another female in the house, but that was how Sunny liked it, she was too easily made jealous on Snake’s behalf--or so she told herself.

Sunny kissed her uncle on the cheek and he passed her a cup of coffee and a smile.  
“Confident?”  
“Of course.” She smiled, sitting down and being careful not to dislodge his cane from the back of the chair.  
“They might give you a REX.” Hal pushed up his glasses even though they didn’t need it.   
“They won’t,” she snorted. “Why waste talent like this?” She blew on her coffee and ignored his chuckle as he sat down opposite her with his own coffee. This was a familiar conversation, Sunny hadn't in fact taken to the physical act of piloting as well as she'd expected, it had turned into something of a joke between them. “They’re starting up the Wildcat today, aren’t they, Uncle?”  
“Yeah," he sounded hesitant. “I was looking into it last night…”  
“You mean like in the old days?”  
“Hmn…” he sipped his coffee--black, strong, the kind of drink that gets you through 24 hours or more of IT work even though he was far too old for those sort of hours now. “I think West has been lying to me.”  
“About what?” she put her cup down on the table and he looked up to meet her eyes. “You're still not comfortable with the MB-AI?”  
“No. The bank he showed me was a weak choice.”  
“You told me he wanted a MB-AI that was easy to control, had a weak presence.”  
“That’s what he told me, but this project is turning into an obsession; hearing him talk… He wants this machine to be as complete as a prototype can be--battle ready.”  
“The Wildcat needs a stronger mind, like the RAYs, they all used to have strong personalities.”  
“Sunny…”  
“I know I shouldn’t think like that, blame talking to the older pilots, but it’s the easiest way to put it." She shrugged. "They were very independent AIs."  
“Hmn,” he looked displeased but continued. “You’re right of course. A timid mind in a machine like that wouldn’t be of any use, and I’ve been reviewing the memory banks West gave me, this isn’t just a weak mind, it’s stupid, whittled down from the donator's original data to the computer equivalent of cattle. The sort of thing that was installed in those old transporters. So I… Looked into it.”  
“What did you find?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Nothing?”  
“Nothing yet, but I’m sure he’s hiding something from me, West isn’t daft, he has a long history with MB-AIs, he knows better.”  
“You think he’s using something you wouldn’t approve of?”  
“Possibly, but it’d have to be on the company system, nothing else would have the software to interface with the Metal Gear and install the memory banks.”  
“Hopefully.”  
“Huh?”  
“He could have ripped it off, hacked into it.”  
“Impossible, I helped design it.”  
"Uncle Hal..." She smiled.  
"You know what I mean... I'd know if there was a flaw like that."  
“Uncle Hal. Y-you don’t think he’s used one of the restricted banks, do you?”  
"No, he wouldn't get permission for something like that."  
  
The restricted banks were made up of those select few who’d been shown to be made of the Wrong Stuff. Ironically a large part of them were those once thought to have the Right Stuff. They were old mercenaries and soldiers and aircraft pilots, many from The Old Days. Most had had nothing to do with the stories of the Snakes, they’d just been there in the background across the world, feeding off the same dark energy of The Patriots and those few revolutionaries that fought back against the dictators. The King Ray's AI should have come under that classification, if that classification had existed then. It existed because of that one incident. Occasionally new files appeared, often on the black market, being sold as exceptional examples of MB-AI material, or from the hordes of specialised collectors. There were so few people who could build a MB-AI from scratch however that it was rarely an issue. Still when those files were found they were confiscated and put under Restricted. Sunny had never seen the list of recordings, she only had the vaguest idea of who had been put under that classification.

Hal had seen them, and the existence of a number of them bothered him deeply and that was enough to worry her. There was one in particular that haunted them, and knowing those files survived was like knowing a part of him still survived, and it bothered her more than she’d ever told her uncle. Hal had wanted them destroyed, said that a mind like that had been too long on this Earth as it was, how many times did it have to be destroyed? How many lives would he be permitted to have? But it had been saved, had been considered too precious, too full of forbidden knowledge to just delete from the records. Too dangerous to use, to tempting to delete. When Sunny had first found out she’d spent many sleepless nights staring at her bedroom ceiling, thinking about how no matter what happened to him and his distorted mind, a fragment of the man who’d been behind her mother’s death and her kidnapping was still allowed to survive. Somehow it didn’t seem fair, not when the man who’d fought alongside her mother and saved her, had been allowed to die so young. Of course, it was his prison, and that had allowed her to sleep soundly.

BBR base Epsilon-6; Sunny and Hal's current base of operations. They were there for Hal's start of the day, Sunny wasn’t needed until 10:00 am, so he invited her to trail around after him through the hangers with West and his team to see the Wildcat prototype.

Sunny ignored West’s salesman spiel to Hal and studied the Metal Gear they were passing, two of the REXs were in for maintenance, one of the marine RAYs had its wing half detached, its beak hung sadly just above the ground. Looming up over them was the tallest in the hanger: the Jackal commander. It was bright red and its cutting beak glinted in the floodlights. Its legs were long and similar to the GEKKOs', only entirely mechanical; the synthetic flesh of the GEKKOs' sausage-like legs wasn't strong enough to hold up the Jackal’s mass. Right now the long limbs were half folded up; its cockpit was swung low to the ground, its knees up to its ears. The Jackal was the fastest Metal Gear to date; though listening to West talk the Wildcat might give it a run for its money.  
  
And that had to be the Wildcat: it was smaller than the Jackal, about the size of a RAY Sunny estimated, but thicker in the body. It was hunched down and in the Jackal’s shadow so some of the details were hard to pick out, but she was aware of hydraulically operated joints rather than the synthetic muscles now commonly used. A long tail was curled over its back, Sunny could tell even from this position that the tail was different to a RAY’s which was flexible and snake like, this one seemed stiffer, like the Wildcat needed it for balance more than anything else. Its chest was deep to contain an unusual engine--the main reason this was a prototype in body as well as mind. The Wildcat’s forelimbs were heavily armoured and clawed and stuck out behind it like ungainly wings, but it was its head that had Sunny staring. Most Metal Gear had a square tank-like head set into the shoulders or a sharp streamlined beak on a short stiff neck, but the Mk1 was different. The Wildcat had a thick powerful neck with hefty protective cabled rubber and composite armour panels, its jaws were long and crocodilian. The bottom jaw stuck out in a pronounced wedge similarly to a REX, but had two long fangs sticking out over it. Its windscreen was unusual: it had a long narrow window more akin to an aeroplane's flight deck window than a modern Metal Gear’s canopy. Lamps set into its forehead burst into life as West gestured to it, and Sunny stepped back. All Metal Gear were designed to look like they were looking back at you of course, it was part of their design to have a psychological effect on those viewing them, but it wasn’t something you got used to in a hurry. Sunny squinted up at the brilliant blue lights glaring down at her.

Jude West was gesturing widely about himself as he spoke; Hal was flexing his fingers about the grip of his cane and inspecting the Wildcat as he listened.

“…but don’t just listen to me, we can show you how smoothly it moves, how flexible, and once the hanger doors are open--” he shot a look over at the technicians taking their time. “--I’ll have it taken outside.” He waved to a man standing up inside the open cockpit. The temp-pilot, who had no nanolink to the machine, sat back and the cockpit closed. Two gaping holes opened up in the Metal Gear’s chest and a moment or two later Sunny heard the engine spin up and heads turned at the unfamiliar sound of its engine in the hanger. The lamps burnt brighter then dimmed again and the Metal Gear stood up. It got up with the sudden rush expected of its size, but its cockpit was raised slower than the rest of its body to minimize the pilot’s discomfort. The tail swung back behind it and straightened out as far as it could and continued to as the Wildcat took a step forwards on its ungulate legs. Sunny had to admit it moved with grace and its peculiarly theropod-like body made it stand out next to the other Metal Gear in the hanger. In some ways it had taken the echoes of a organic creature further than the rest. In other ways though, it was more obviously mechanical, with heavy square shapes and sharp angles.

West ushered everyone to the side to give the Wildcat room to move, but even though the sirens went off and the doors rattled aside for it, the Wildcat stopped its progress.  
“What’s going on in there?” West called over the radio sounding flustered. “Why’d you stop?”  
“It’s not me!” the voice crackled over the radio. “It just--sir it’s scanning!”  
West's voice broke as he yelped: “What!? Shut it down!” and gawked up at his creation.

Hal grimaced and turned to Sunny to lead her away from the Metal Gear and he saw the expression of surprise drain from on her face as everyone else saw the change come over the Wildcat. She was looking up at the huge machine, her eyes widening as the cameras mounted above the hinge of its jaws started to swivel back and forth. From the ports in its beak two long cables were whispering out to curl in the air, one was a fiberscope and appeared to be looking closely at each of the now highly concerned group gathered there, the other was similar to the first, but Sunny couldn’t be sure of what was mounted at the end. It didn’t seem as interested in them as the other cable but it remained arched snakelike in the air along with its partner. Fear clung to the group like cobwebs as the large machine moved over them, slowly leaning down until its huge fangs were only a few feet away and it growled deep and low. The gathered group held its collective breath, was is another failure of an MB-AI? Acting on its own before it had even taken a step outside of the hangar, ready to make its first kill as a weapon system: its own creators?

Sunny stared up at the Metal Gear and it seemed that if this was moment she died, it must be some cruel joke on behalf of the universe, maybe karma, had she believed in it, for turning her back on her uncles' work. It had been easy to become complacent working alongside the huge machines, but having one this close, staring down at her with ill intent, and all that complacency melted away. It was painfully clear now just why Snake, after his first encounter with a Metal Gear, had been ready to dedicate his life to eradicating them. The fiberscope whipped around and focused on her, almost instantly electricity shot up her spine and into the back of her skull. Her hands went up to hold her head and she buckled over in pain, her knees wobbling weakly, then it was gone, as quick as it had arrived. Only a dull throbbing headache remained. The whiskers retracted with a soft hissing sound and the Wildcat seemed to lean back contentedly onto its haunches. There was a long pause, then over the radio the pilot said: “I-I’m sorry sir.”  
“What happened!?”  
“It’s imprinted on someone.”  
“It’s WHAT!?”

It didn’t take them long to remember Sunny’s fit and for all eyes to turn on her. Within half an hour she was a third wheel in a heated debate. Her senses started return to her as Hal was shaking his head at West’s argument that many MB-AIs had been pre-emptive with their imprinting in the past, why should this incident be such a surprise? And ‘the girl’ as Sunny was now being referred to, had just passed her exams with flying colours, her history was no secret, maybe this was a good thing! A new pilot learning alongside a new Metal Gear! But Hal wasn’t buying it.

“What I don’t understand is how the memory bank you showed me could have possibly led up to this situation. It was an inept set of memories, next to useless for this project and far too weak to override a non-imprinted pilot and imprint on a member of staff outside of the cockpit.” West’s thick lips pressed together and turned white from the pressure. Sunny watched a drop of sweat run down under his collar. “I didn’t understand why you would choose a weak bank to build this AI on. I could have put it down to the software harnesses not being good enough to contain it, and you knowing that, after all that's how you sold this to the company in the first place: harnesses strong enough even to contain something of high strength and intelligence. It's not weak though, is it? If that was the case that AI wouldn’t have had the strength to find and imprint on Sunny. Not to mention, all incidences of spontaneous imprinting in the past have been down to some historical link between the pilot and the AI, they were relatives, or friends, co-workers, something like that. Whatever you have inside that Metal Gear’s head knows Sunny, and it’s powerful and has already demonstrated that it can control its own computer systems irrespective of our inputs, not just its software also its hardware: it stopped moving by choice and that manipulator arm was armed with a stun gun, don’t think I don’t know that.”  
“Nonsense!" West raised his hands placatingly. "That was with a non-imprinted pilot, the AIs are designed to overrule in an emergency.”  
“That was not an emergency.”  
“But imprinting is considered high priority, its pilot is vital to it and without an imprint it cannot operate efficiently, it was merely trying to give us its best work. It was designed to do that.”  
“Metal Gear are designed to give the group they are licensed to the best work they can while staying under control, if this machine... if it's not under control, and it's not--”  
“The CEO is aware of this project in full and has given it the go ahead, this incident has already been reported and is of little interest to him. This is a prototype Doctor Emmerich, designed to give us data which can help make better the production line models built after it. Little hiccups like this are part of the plan, they're expected!”  
“Hiccups?” Hal steepled his fingers together and pressed his lips to the tips of his fingers. “Sunny, tell them what you told me outside.”  
“Uncle?”  
“When I asked you what you were thinking about when it targeted you.”  
“Oh… I was thinking about well, D- Solid S-snake.”  
West looked uncomfortable and wouldn’t meet Hal's gaze when he looked up, the programmer to West’s left fidgeted, and after a moment he said: “Doctor Emmerich, can I ask you a question?”

All eyes were suddenly on him. The programmer grimaced but when Hal nodded he continued: “The materials we've been working with have been like Dr West said, like you said. It's been a poor example of MB-AI building material.” He glanced over at the other programmers who jointly started to study the floor and ceiling intently. “But I agree with you, the mind inside the Wildcat is very powerful, it's adapted so fast... The memory bank we picked, we picked because it had been previously used for a build, and it remained stable for a lengthy amount of time with the old harnessing systems...”  
"Go on."  
"Well. I don't see how that MB-AI, and what we saw today, could be the same thing." He glanced at West. "I'm not suggesting West has planned something else, on the contrary! Doctor West couldn't have prepared a separate MB-AI, dismantled ours, and built a new one all on his own without someone noticing. Right?"  
Hal nodded. "I'd say so."  
He hesitated and the woman opposite him offered: "Do you think it's possible there's someone else influencing the Wildcat's build?”  
"If someone switched out the memory banks just before installation would you notice?" Hal asked, the programmers looked at each other. Once they were prepared there was little reason to pay close attention to the banks, they were self contained components to be installed and given over to the computers to handle.  
"Well... No." Said one quietly. "Not unless something went wrong in installation."  
Hal met West's wide eyed gaze. "Is there a chance someone has tampered with this machine?"  
"Its..." He shrugged. "I mean it's possible."

Hal stood up and leant his arms on the table, “An unusual mind built by unknown persons on banks that react to the name ‘Solid Snake’, to Sunny,” he growled and Sunny leant back, it took a lot to make her mild mannered and rather mousy uncle angry, but West had managed it. “Did you find out which file it was?"  
"Yes..."  
"And?"  
West licked his lips, "Well... It is one of ours, but I don't know how any got a hold of it."  
"A restricted file?”  
"Yes..."  
“Which one?"  
"Well in light of the current situation--"  
"Jude..."  
The name hung in the air like a threat. Slowly West stood up and straightened his jacket. “A mind your old machines couldn’t have handled.” He sniffed. Hal bristled, this wasn’t the time for petty insults.  
"And your's has?"  
"It's intact isn't it?"  
"Barely!"  
"It's within parameters!"  
"Which. Bank?"  
West fidgeted. "Well, I can't be sure on the identity I don't have these memorised... It was ah... found in China, picked up from a PMC operating in the area... Er..." he fished in his pocket for his phone. "One moment... Just... 05-R-07. Um... ADAM."

Sunny waited for Hal to explode, but he just slumped back in his chair and stared in shock at West and the programmer.  
“Wipe it.” He croaked.

ADAM was the earliest known code name of the defector, Patriot double-agent, mass murderer, sadist and serial torturer Revolver Ocelot. Under the alias of Liquid Ocelot he’d nearly plunged the world into chaos, he’d somehow survived a long and treacherous life as a solitary and well feared figure. He’d finally been defeated by Solid Snake in 2014 and Sunny’s little family, and anyone else in the world who’d known who he was, had sighed in relief. Now he’d been brought back, as a weapon?

“It would be a waste!" West bristled. "And this is the perfect test for the Wildcat's systems. It’s not like the Wildcat is a conscious creature,” West sniffed. “It doesn’t remember who it is or what it did, not like you or I remember. Sure those memories can be accessed by someone who knows what they’re doing…” he laughed. “But let’s face it, there are few people who do. It’s safe.”  
"Except whoever it was who installed it in the first place surely had their reasons!"  
West looked flustered, "Well, now I know this is an issue I'll request a search for the culprit immediately!"  
Hal gawked at him, then looked at Sunny and she lowered her gaze. “He zeroed in on Sunny,” he said hoarsely. “I want it destroyed, and there are other, safe, banks that can be used for this project. You don’t need him. Someone wants this MB-AI in that machine, and that alone is a good enough reason to destroy it.”  
"Doctor Emmerich, this is my project and I'll thank you to remember that! Whomever is behind this may have just done us a favour!"  
"Do you really want to be responsible--"  
“It’s my mind on the line!” Sunny interrupted. “Don’t I get a say in this? Don’t say I don’t know what I’m talking about, you all know I do.” A stalemate had been reached in the room, without Doctor Emmerich the Wildcat couldn’t be developed further, but he wasn’t going to back down on his decision to have the Wildcat’s mind torn down and re-built, and West didn't seem inclined to let that happen.

"Let me be the Wildcat’s pilot. West has a point, this whole situation does put the Metal Gear under intense levels of stress, this is the perfect test. I’m not happy about this mind being used either, but you know I’ll report anything that goes wrong, if you can trust anyone to do that it's me. We can use any hints of an issue to plan ahead.” She looked pleadingly at Hal. “Uncle, this is the mind behind every conspiracy you and Snake ever unraveled. Even after all the work he and Naomi did, in the end his mind still prevailed over Liquid's. If any mind is going to fight back against the software harness it’s going to be this one, this could mean that we finally learn how to control MB-AIs, for good. It’s still linked up to the main computers; it can be shut down remotely in case of an emergency.”  
“But Sunny…”  
“And West is right, those memories are locked up, it can’t access them without the proper authorisation. Revolver Ocelot was smart but he was no computer programmer.” Hal gnawed on his lip, thinking about Liquid Ocelot’s infiltration of The Patriot’s AI network, he wasn’t so sure, no one really knew what Ocelot had been capable of.  
“Let me be the Wildcat’s test pilot. Please uncle? Now it's been installed it's done, release the access codes on a need-to-know basis, maybe we'll find out who did this?"

West beamed at Hal as they left the room. His lips were twitching. "You won't regret this Hal! This project will lead to Metal Gears being infallible, and you and Miss Gurlukovich are going to be a part of that--a part of history!”  
“Ocelot was a part of history. Our history… He should have stayed that way.”

Sunny hurried to catch up with her Uncle as they separated out from the rest of the group.  
"Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine," Hal paused to take off his glasses and rub his eyes. "Sunny I don't believe for one instant this was an accident."  
"Me neither. The names alone would be too much of a coincidence."  
"Huh. Ocelot. Wildcat. I didn't even think of that." Hal sighed. "Just... be careful, don't let anything get by you. I'll have West's head if anything..." he took a deep shuddering breath. "Be careful."


	4. Unit

“ _But if these years have taught me anything it is this: you can never run away. Not ever. The only way out is in._ ”

– Junot Díaz, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

 

 

Cold dreary days, long days, hard days, taking baby steps all over again. If Sunny had thought basic training had been hard this knocked that concept into the earth and kicked dust in its face. Shakily moving the Wildcat out of the garage—the hanger was only for construction and maintenance—her imagination heckled her with images of a haughtily turned back, impatient glances and cruel comments, a ghost waiting for her to stand up, brush off the dirt and catch up with him. Each time however she fell again and while her trainer's encouraging comments were all she heard, she felt harried and on edge.

 

The Wildcat’s cockpit wasn’t like anything she’d seen before, it was crowded and even with its weapons control panel blanked off there was an intimidating number of buttons, knobs and switches, all for programming and monitoring and controlling the prototype. There were little twinkling lights that seemed to change of their own accord and it would beep and wail accusingly at her out of the blue from time to time and its development team would have to take over. No amount of assurance that it wasn’t her fault and it had been a bug comforted her. The production line model of any Metal Gear had had its controls whittled down to the bare minimum needed to control it, programming was done through additional hardware, plugged in for as long as the work was being done. This monster didn’t just have the controls she needed, the designers had retained everything they needed for fine tuning and chasing out the last few bugs. Sunny thought wistfully of the neat sensible controls of the RAY she’d once looked around, it had been like an aircraft: everything in reach, laid out neatly, important stuff directly in line of sight, getting less important farther out. The Wildcat looked like its systems had been thrown in arbitrarily and shuffled around until they fit. At least the main systems were all in front of her, once those had been identified she found a lot of the other stuff blended into the background—for her training at least, she investigated them on her own time. There was a second small seat behind her own as well, made for someone with very short legs. Bran sat there guiding her through the controls. Bran was a Welshman and too tall for the back seat, his knees were wedged against the back of hers. Bran should have been the Wildcat's pilot and his voice was strained and impatient as he gave Sunny instructions. Aside from the task of deciphering the maze of controls, the training was not dissimilar to that of any other Metal Gear type training. The Wildcat could move with more agility than any other Metal Gear in BBR's hangars. In theory. Under Sunny's inexperienced guidance it couldn't move beyond a hesitant walk just yet, a walk intermittently halted by the engineers' need to perform adjustments.

 

Sunny wasn't only training however, every moment she got alone with the machine—and this was mostly lunch time whenever she forewent a meal—she was rummaging around in the Metal Gear’s memory files. Some were labelled as high risk and Sunny figured that she didn’t want to see those anyway, so she ignored them in favour of other more easily accessed files. High risk files appeared in all MB-AIs, they were memories that could cause erratic or violent behaviour, or generally cause a break down in the computer’s reliability, typically it was some intense and unhappy memory that triggered the Metal Gear's defence systems. The flags instructed the systems to give these particular files less credence whenever the AI accessed them.

 

Memory banks were not constant recall, and this being an old recording only the more vivid memories had been saved. It seemed Ocelot had had excellent memory recall while he was alive and the foundation of the Wildcat's AI was strong. There were very few notable gaps in his history and it was intimidating to have this stranger's lifetime laid out in front of her. Intimidating and tempting. Sunny identified the period of time that covered Ocelot's interactions with her mother in the 2000's, the point of most interest to her, and yet she avoided it. Temptation outmatched by nerves, she picked at the files around it, learning more about Ocelot in the process, and digging deeper.

 

Sunny slunk back to the machine and curled up in the pilot’s chair with her cheese sandwich, she ate it while debating whether or not to proceed with this plan. For four and a half days now she’d drawn out hours, days, moments to glance at and pick through, using a 'borrowed' uplink cable and maintenance tablet to view the files. She'd watched a line of men she’d never seen before scroll past and be inspected in their smart black and red uniforms. A strange woman with almond eyes looked up, a sun beam shining brashly off her bare torso and met Sunny's eyes through the screen, before the 'camera' view dipped down and away, looking anywhere but at her. Sunny had seen bombs go off through his eyes, some safely in the distance, others leaving a ringing sound in the tablet's speakers and the screen obscured by dust, as indistinct objects appeared suddenly in view and vanished again as Ocelot had fled. She'd dozed at hours of meetings and travel and reports. Gagged as a man’s bones cracked on the torture table, and stared in shock as Ocelot interrupted another interrogator and had some poor unfortunate taken to medical staff. Someone who looked just like her uncle Snake snapped his teeth at her, one eye devastated in its socket, his face a mask of rage and pain. After that she'd had enough and avoided as best she could any files involving torture. She laughed aloud when the One Eyed Man appeared again and Ocelot seemed to attempt to poke out his eye, only to hit his eye patch and got a cocky grin for his misplaced efforts. The world spun as their fight continued. She listened to a voice of a young man deepen, roughen and become the gravelly purr she knew from her uncles' records, and heard his indigence and rage, fear and painful relief, nostalgia and bitterness.

 

Sunny looked down at the rest of her sandwich, she hadn't eaten much more than a bite. She wasn't feeling hungry. It wasn’t the sights she’d seen that put her off, it was the loneliness of it all. The aircraft vanishing above the clouds while Ocelot was determined to watch it leave, fighting to stay above water even as he did so; the rapid blinking in front of a blurry kerosene stove as another year rolled by; an exhausted blonde woman looking up at him, begging him for help he couldn't give; yet another vase of white flowers beside his thin sallow form in a hospital bed; a blond boy lashing out at him in rage; the bronze skinned woman stepping aboard a helicopter and vanishing from his sight. There were sympathetic and suspicious glances from nurses, the knowing and unfriendly looks from his fellow officers. She recognised Big Mama, head in her hands, angrily asking how he could do this? Sunny wondered what he'd done. She couldn’t feel what Ocelot had felt of course—that wasn't on record, nor could it have been felt through a tablet if it had been—but when he’d glanced about all those years ago there was a void around him, a gap between him and everyone else, and his lingering gaze on the ones he'd cared about spoke volumes, even as he'd remained bitterly silent.

 

After Sunny had been rescued and gone to live with Snake and Otacon she’d known she’d never feel that level of loneliness again, but echoes of it still nagged at her. Her uncles had offered her their sympathies, but they didn’t know exactly how she’d felt—just as their sorrows were unknown to her—but there was something hauntingly familiar about the hounding loneliness that surfaced like ground water as she trod in Ocelot’s footsteps. She was afraid of finding out what he’d gone through, afraid that she’d find he’d never gotten away from it. Were some scars so deep they never faded? What if she herself never got away from her past? The sense of displacement? Was she as scarred as him, even though she’d been so young when it all happened? She leant back into the chair and scrolled down the list of files, the few she’d accessed, the many thousands of memory fragments still to witness. She couldn’t believe that she was a lost cause, she wasn't like Ocelot, he had been alone, she was not, and he'd followed paths of violence and cruelty that she knew she never would.

 

Sunny tapped the side of the tablet, then sought out the link between her nanomachines and the Metal Gear's systems. She was fascinated by Metal Gear and the Wildcat was no different in that regard. The MB-AI offered her new possibilities. She'd had to be cautious with this AI, which had slowed her progress and there was still a lot left to investigate. The harness that kept the AI intact and restricted—and in theory out of her reach—was unlike anything she'd ever come across and she wished she had more time to pick over its elaborate coding. Only she did, she'd realised: It had taken some effort to drill down, but the Wildcat was prepared to be worked on at any given moment, and once the right areas were found accessing its programming was delightfully easy. It hadn't taken Sunny long to get around and alter her permissions and gain access via her nanomachines. Here her innate abilities and confidence in the virtual world did her proud, able to visualise the inner workings of the computer systems beyond what its creators themselves could manage, Sunny was able to move swiftly between each thing that caught her eye and all within the comfort of her own head.

 

This time, Sunny picked her way down through the navigation scaffold she used to visualize the otherwise formless data, when she reached the memory banks, she felt something prickling up her spine out in the real world and shivered. Curious about accessing a memory file in VR, she reached out to select a short and hopefully benign one, and as she did so something that felt akin to static electricity leapt from her to the file and she drew back in surprise. Sunny felt about herself, nervously searching for something out of place. In order to access the files she'd had to manipulate some of the Wildcat’s coding to allow them to open and play on the altered tablet. She was still concerned that that action might have weakened the barrier between the AI's memories and the outside world it was supposed to be monitoring. Sunny herself was leaving footsteps in and out of the memory banks, and while the day to day life of the Metal Gear would build up new memories, and those would bury the footprints under more data, it had had such a short life so far and a glance revealed her steps: an access date here, a bit of altered coding she’d not camouflaged well there, permissions that no pilot should have. So far it wasn’t causing any problems but she really needed to do something about it. Maybe the Wildcat was getting irate at the mess she was leaving behind and it was causing glitches or irritating its defensive systems and access to its memory bank was becoming harder as it turned its attention outwards to find the source of the disturbance.  
  
Sunny withdrew from the files and moved over to address the obviously altered set up. She couldn’t put it back like it had been before, that would just lock her out of the memory banks again but she could hopefully make the computer more comfortable with its new configuration. The machine asked for authorization and Sunny entered the codes, they’d been easy enough to figure out, they’d only been some rather basic passwords, she hoped production line models had a higher level of security, hell! Maybe she’d fix up the Wildcat herself! But for now… Back in the cockpit she chewed on her lip, figuring out the best way to work in a safe doorway for herself.

 

Lunch hour was up, Sunny’s alarm went off and she closed up her work and opened her eyes. Bran was approaching across the apron and she lowered the Metal Gear’s head to let him in. For a heart stopping moment it didn’t respond and she thought she’d broken something, the computers growled and stuttered in the casings somewhere behind her head, then they smoothed out and the machine stooped down to Bran's height.

 

“We’re going to call it a short one today,” he said sitting down and buckling himself in. "I've got a dentist appointment to get to."” Sunny nodded, Bran grumbled something about opening times, and Sunny murmured in agreement as she set the Metal Gear into motion.

“Where to?” She asked, glancing around at him. “Want me to go the length of the runway again?”

“No, I see no reason to keep you walking back and forth, I’ve got the small obstacle course set up, I want to see you navigate that.” He clicked his tongue. “But first walk the length of the runway.”

Sunny grimaced to herself but did as ordered. The Wildcat swung around and stepped forwards lithely and Chris made a surprised noise. “Have you been practising at lunch times?”

“Why?” Sunny asked, “Have I got better?”

“Well that was very smooth... Even with more experience... Um, you see most people move stiffly, very consciously, you’re very instinctual with your movements. I suppose it should be expected of you though.”

Sunny’s hand twitched and the Wildcat lurched, “Sorry.” She said, “W-what do you mean?”

“Well you passed all your exams with the highest marks in the class, didn’t you? And everyone says you’re a whiz with computers and mechanical engineering.”

“O-oh?” She relaxed, of course, no one outside of her family really knew about her past, not in detail. She turned the Wildcat around the side of the hanger and towards the disused runway.

“Kind of a stroke of luck really, you being the Wildcat’s test pilot. There's not been anything like this for years.” Bran spoke fondly.

"Sorry," she said again. "I-I guess you were set on this job?"

"As long as it's in good hands," he said shortly.

“Um... The whole length of the runway or just down to the fire-gate?”

“Fire-gate is fine.”

 

The small obstacle course was little more than a series of low blockades of various sizes, made to test the pilot’s ability to manoeuvre their machine over terrain other than a road: bushes, dips, trenches, barb wire, low walls and higher walls… trip hazards that could send a Metal Gear to the ground—a vulnerable position for a bipedal tank. Alongside the small obstacle course was a stretch of incredibly rocky ground and on the other side was the advanced obstacle course. Sunny hesitated at first, but the Wildcat was responsive and within the hour she was comfortable with her progress, only stumbling once or twice.

 

“Bran? The Wildcat can be quadrupedal right?”

“That is correct.”

“When can I try that?”

“Later, it’s not as easy as it sounds, humans aren’t used to moving about on all fours.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“But don’t worry, Sunny, you'll get there and we’ll have the two of you working like a unit.”

Sunny went to answer but a faint tremor shook the machine. Startled, she glanced at Bran, but he didn’t seem to have felt anything and she hesitated to say anything. Maybe she'd just imagined the odd vibration; had she felt anything at all, or had it been inside her head…?

"Sunny?"

"S-sorry."

 

That night Sunny couldn’t sleep. The events of the day: the strange repulsion from the memory banks and the odd shiver that Bran hadn't noticed, were keeping her awake. At 2am she gave up tossing and turning and rolled out of bed and went downstairs for a drink of water. It was dark, the heating had been off for a while and the air was chilly as she padded down the stairs, but it wasn’t the air temperature that made her shiver.

 

Halfway down the stairs she heard a muffled cry and for a moment she thought Hal was having a nightmare. More than once she'd been awoken by him screaming Snake’s name in horror. Sunny held her breath and listened, but back in his room Hal didn't make a peep, besides, the cry had sounded more distant… _Escape_ … Sunny ran back up to her room, but the sound of loud droning followed her and buzzed in her ears. She dove under the duvet and almost instantaneously the sound cut out. She shivered under the covers until dawn, and was glad it was Saturday.

 

She heard Hal get up, and leave her 'sleeping'. Sunny slowly inched out from under the covers and watched the sun move across her wall.

“It’s only been a week.” She whispered, “And it's already getting to me. Maybe I should... Maybe it'd be worth handing this off to Bran before it gets too late."


	5. Let The Right One In

" _I’m not totally mad at you. I’m just sad. You’re all locked up in that little world of yours, and when I try knocking on the door, you just sort of look up for a second and go right back inside._ "

– Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

 

Sunny lay awake until nearly ten, at which point Hal knocked on her door, bringing her a cup of coffee. Sipping it and typing out a reply to her Puerto Rican friend she pondered the events of the day before.

“I’ll keep it quiet,” she decided. “No one needs to know, all I’m getting are echoes, that’s all it was last night: nonsense, out of context echoes from the memories. Some of them have leaked out, but that's okay. I can re-secure the harness... Find the leaks in his programming and he’ll go back to being just the Wildcat again.” Sunny leant back in her chair and swivelled it. She put her feet down and stopped suddenly. “Him?" She shook her head, and, deciding her uncle would become curious if she didn’t eat anything, tried to put it out of her mind long enough to stop worrying and run downstairs to get some breakfast.

 

It was Saturday, the base would be quiet and she could get some time alone in the garage to fix the Wildcat. It was just less than 4 miles to the base from here, not too far for an afternoon walk, though getting back again might be more of a chore. Sunny threw on some clothes, glanced in the mirror to see if she looked like she was just going for a leisurely walk and went to find Hal. He was in his office, pouring over some old video footage that Sunny thought she recognized. “Uncle Hal?”

“Hmn? Oh Sunny, going out?”

“Going for a walk,” she came into the room to kiss his cheek. “I have my phone. I’ll probably be awhile.”

“Alright,” even after all these years there was still a flicker of worry in his eyes at the thought of her leaving their home alone. “I’ll see you soon.”

 

The day was still and the sun’s warmth undisturbed by wind chill. Despite how late in the year it was Sunny felt herself starting to get warm, but she felt insulated from more than just the temperature in her coat, she tugged it closer and hoped no more of those nightmarish echoes would come to her—she never wanted to hear that cruel voice again. By the time she’d gotten to the base she’d been compelled to remove her coat, and clutched it close with one hand as she flashed her ID card with the other.

“Working this weekend?”

“I’ve got some paper work I need to finish.”

 

Sunny tried not to rush to the garage, which wasn’t empty like she’d hoped. A couple of engineers were down the far end gesturing at a machine that apparently wasn’t where it was supposed to be, and two Metal Gear down from the Wildcat a pilot was messing around in his cockpit. She tried to look like she belonged there as she climbed up to the controls. For privacy, but against her better judgement from a safety point of view, she made sure the Wildcat’s canopy was properly closed before she set to work.

 

No engines, it would only draw attention to her and she’d been warned against them in enclosed spaces besides. Sunny switched to battery power and as an afterthought checked the locks and pulled the locomotive circuit breakers, even if something unexpected happened, this machine wasn’t going anywhere. Then she started the Metal Gear up. There was a low whine as it came online and one by one the computer screens lit up and hurried through their checks. Sunny gnawed on her knuckle in confusion, when they were up they went into the maintenance history. So, the Wildcat had been online last night, new targeting system installed and engine check—visual. Had that been when she heard the voice? The echoes from his memories? She checked the times, but hadn’t made a note of when she’d heard the voice the night before. Never mind, she came out of the selection and leant back, searching for the link into the Metal Gear’s head. It seemed harder to reach than normal and when she finally managed to push her way in, she was greeted by a pulsing sensation and she found herself in the pilot’s chair, blinking in confusion.

“N-no you don’t, I’m finishing this!” She forced her way back, despite the discomfort, and dug her way down to the memory banks quickly. There she dug in her heels and stopped to think: where was likely to be causing problems leading to memory fragments leaking out into the real world? The pulsing sensation again, she felt picked up and dropped by its passing, like a wave in the ocean had washed over her. The defence systems trying to push her out? She wondered. It came again and again, harder the third time and she had to fight not to be expelled from the VR.

"I b-belong here, I'm your p-pilot!" she stuttered angrily and almost at once the pulses stopped, replaced by a cool prickling feeling on the nape of her neck. Immediately Sunny yanked herself from VR and looked around wildly for the person who'd been breathing down her neck. The canopy was closed, she was alone and with an annoyed and disturbed sigh she turned back to her target and reached out for the areas that needed her attention. She found the holes she'd made for herself in the Wildcat's programming and went to repair the damage she'd done, and everything went black.

 

Darkness gave way intermittently to a flickering white light, she closed her eyes tightly but the light stabbed through her eyelids and exploded into painful fireworks across the back of her skull. Eventually she rolled over with a whimper and sat up to look around. She was in what looked like a school corridor; the flickering was a failing emergency light on the wall over her head. The building looked old and slightly prestigious despite the failing light. As with all places designed to hold a multitude of people that were now empty and quiet, the school filled Sunny with dread. She got shakily to her feet, holding her head all the while, she felt fuzzy.

“Where am I?” she whispered to dispel the silence, but she instantly wished she hadn’t. Her voice sounded small and desolate, and worse, she found herself waiting for the darkness to answer. Nothing but the sounds of a settling building answered her, and Sunny tiptoed down the corridor, jumping at the ticks and creaks of the building and cringing at the loudness of her own footsteps.

 

Three times she got up the courage to push open a door that lead off the corridor, two were classrooms and even more chilling than the empty corridor, the blackboards (which she didn’t recognize from personal experience, all her schools had had whiteboards and interactive screens,) were clean and bare, the separate desks were empty of pens or paper. The third room she peered into turned out to be a loo; and she backed out and looked at the door in surprise, thinking she’d missed the sign in the dark, but there wasn't one. She moved away and headed for the last door at the very end of the corridor. The double doors opened onto a flight of stairs. Sunny stepped out onto the landing and leant over the banisters to look up and down the flight.

“Guess I’m going down,” she muttered, mentally aiming for an exit. As she headed for the flight down she heard someone coming up to the sound of sinister clicking—the hard snap of boots on the worn steps. Sunny froze, unreasonable fear climbing up inside her and throttling her. Sunny’s breath caught in her throat and she leant over the banister to look again. A second later the footsteps stopped and a heavily shadowed face, wreathed by the high collar of its leather coat and a mane of hair, leant out two flights below and looked up at her. They stared at each other, then the face below vanished and the footsteps thundered up the stairs. Sunny spun on her heel and shot up the stairs as fast as she could go. Her breath rattled in her chest but she didn’t stop, every few steps she would hear her pursuer’s tread, out of time with hers and heavier.

 

Sunny stopped, facing a metal grating door with a “ROOF! NO ACCESS TO STUDENTS!” sign on it, she didn’t waste any time going back down and running out through the double doors onto the top floor. She dived across the hall and into a room, there she scuttled behind a desk and crouched there, hand over her mouth, holding her rasping breath. The hurried footsteps came out onto the floor she was hiding on, out in the corridor a light switched on. One of the strip lights here was failing too, and in the erratically flickering light a shadow passed under the door. Sunny waited until the footsteps drifted away, and then ventured out. She headed for the stairs, but something pulled her back, as irresistible as the urge to run from the stranger. She berated herself every step of the way for doing so, but she ventured deeper into the top floor. Occasionally hearing distant noises, but Sunny avoided the strange pursuer and discovered that this floor was dedicated to showers and rooms full of beds. So then, this was a boarding school, though all the beds were empty. No. It was more than empty. The building was deserted but for her and the stranger. It was hollowed out, like all the kids and teachers that should have populated this place, even at night, had fled, or been ordered away. It was empty of people, of their belongings, not a breath remained, time had been frozen here. A miasma of hatred and resentment seemed to grip the place and it clung to Sunny like cobwebs as she walked on. It clung to her and drew memories up within her of early school days. Transferring from one school to another, rarely keeping friends for long, being teased for her stutter, for being weird, for standing out—no one else had thought like her, seen what she’d seen. Waiting after-school for Hal and Dave after she’d finally got into a fight with someone who’d dared make her family a subject of their ridicule.

 

Sunny heard the footsteps growing closer again and hurried on, glad she’d spent time slinking around the house, playing hide and seek with the master: Solid Snake, while he’d still been able to. She’d learnt to be quiet and sneaky young, but this had been the first time since she was a teenager that she'd put it to use for anything other than fun. The corridor she was hurrying down turned out to be blind, there were a few doors along it, and she tried each one, and with each door the sound of the stranger drew closer. Then as suddenly as the stranger had appeared on the stairwell, his footsteps silenced. There was only one door left and though everything had gone quiet Sunny couldn’t help but rush along to it, fearing that the stranger was just around the corner behind her, waiting, playing with her, knowing she couldn’t escape.

 

Sunny fumbled with the door handle and rattled it desperately, but the door wouldn’t budge. She looked over her shoulder and held her breath to listen. It was silent. Still the impression that someone was following her lingered and she wanted to escape her pursuer. She turned back to the door, tried it one last time then let go of the handle. It clicked back into place and she heard a voice on the other side say: “Who's there?”

Sunny jumped in surprise, so this place wasn’t deserted?

"Go away."

She leant up against the door to hear better. “Is the d-door locked?"

"Go away!"

"C-can y-you unlock it f-for me?”

“Do you think I’d be in here if I had the key?”

“You’re a prisoner?”

“I’m a student…” The voice, young, sounded puzzled and annoyed. “Who are you?”

“I’m a-a… I’m a v-visitor. How l-long have you been in th-there?”

“Why does it matter?" He sounded petulant. Then in defence of whoever it was who’d locked him up and somewhat smuggly: “Normally I’m allowed out more! I got in trouble!”

“In trouble?” Sunny shook herself. "N-no, I mean how l-long have you been a-a s-student here?"

The voice growled. "Leave me alone."

Sunny, becoming desperate to get out of this hallway decided to appeal to the voice's better nature: "P-please talk to me, I've not met anyone else h-here. I'm alone and I'm s-scared. Can I come in?"

“I told you! It's locked! This is my bedroom, it’s away from the other boys. It’s mine!” He added sharply. “But they took my radio...”

“They l-lock you in at night?”

“They lock me in when they don’t need me. There was a really good serial on too!”

He seemed distracted by this new chain of thought. “What was it?”

“It was about cowboys and indians!” He said, sounding considerably more cheerful. "It's really good! But Keller says I'm too young for them, but I'm not!"

“K-keller?"

"He makes sure we're all in bed at night. He has hob-nail boots and they wake me up at night."

"Hob-n-nail?" Sunny blinked, thinking of the clicking she'd been hearing.

"'S what I said..."

"How old ar-are you? What's your name?"

"10!" He said proudly. "See? I'm old enough to stay up! They've been calling me Adam for a while now." He seemed to be coming around. "The cowboys were winning!” He insisted, more interested in his westerns than his name.

Even as Sunny thought this was a strange way to answer a chill ran up her spine and she remembered where she had to be. “Adam…” How could she have forgotten? Her flight through the building had driven it out of her head—this place wasn’t real.

“What’s your name?” He piped up.

“I’m called S-sunny.”

“That’s a funny name.”

“I-it is a b-bit isn’t i-it?” She laughed nervously. “But an unu-usual name is easy t-to remember.”

“If you want to be remembered…”

The hairs on her arms were standing on end, his voice sounded very close, as if he too was pushed up against the door and she was starting to wonder how closely the voice matched the being that lurked just out of reach, but she had to find a way out of here. This door was the only way forwards, behind her was... She wasn't even sure now, what else could be here?  
“D-don’t you want t-to be remembered, A-Adam?”

“Depends what for.” Sunny rested her forehead against the door waiting. “Miss?”

“Y-yes, Adam? What is it?”

“You're not a teacher here are you?"

"N-no."

"...Staff?"

"No."

"Who are you?"

"Just s-someone passing th-through."

"Oh. Am I going to get in trouble for talking to you?"

"I hope n-not."

"...Can you get me out of here?”

"I t-thought you wanted me to go away?"

"Where'd you get that idea from?"

 

Sunny stepped back from the door and stared at it, she’d come here to lock up a mad man and instead she’d found a young boy being driven crazy by… Who? This had to pre-date The Patriots, but this… She pressed her hand against the door, remembering the sound of an electronic door clicking open and her saviour, Raiden, she'd been too young to be afraid of him. Sunny closed her eyes and bid the memories away, unable to shake the feeling that now she was in Raiden’s position, even knowing who had to lie on the other side of the locked door, she still wanted to free the captive. Nonsense! This was some kind of memory, nothing more, she couldn’t change his fate, it had already all happened! Sunny knelt down and inspected the lock. This was just a memory, she could manipulate it if she tried hard enough and the door would open. She could free him. It was a waste of time. Maybe leaving him here would be better; maybe he was trapped inside of his subconscious, this door being the last thing between him and the real world. She leant in to peer through the key hole. The room inside was distressingly bare but for a pile of books beside the bed and desk, she instinctively knew they had been compulsively read and re-read to death. Some school books had been shoved under the bed, less interesting than whatever novels were present. A patch on the wall beside the bed showed where the occupant had picked at the mortar in boredom. There was one reasonably sized window that was letting in the pale blue moonlight that lit up the room. The boy was sitting in a chair in front of the window, twiddling a pencil between his fingers and gazing with impatience at the door. He was dressed for bed in pinstripe pyjamas but the state of the bed covers indicated he’d not attempted sleep. The picking at the wall, the sparseness, the boredom, the incredible mind she’d heard stories of while growing up. Suddenly she wanted to snatch the pencil from his hands and scream at him. She could hear it click against his nails from time to time, she grit her teeth, nothing to do, nothing to do, so bored, find something to do… Told off for drawing in my books… Pencil… How does he spin it around his fingers? Can I do that…? Something to do, something to learn… Buzzing! She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against the door to block it out, too close to his memories, so much noise… The footsteps from before, had they even been after her? Or were they another fragment of his memories jostling for attention? Her hand reached for the doorknob. Or driving her here?

Distant footsteps, a spinning pencil, emptiness, waiting…

“No wonder...”

“Are you still there? Sunny?” he sounded worried. “Please let me out.” It was really all she needed, the memory flexed and with a crack the door opened and she tumbled forwards.

 

Sunny got to her feet in a hurry and met the aluminium coloured eyes of the boy who’d also stood up. He was already tall for his age, but had shot up without a thought to putting on bulk; it was like looking at an animated bean sprout with knobby knees. Was there anything more ungainly? She took a step towards him and before she could blink he’d darted past her and was sprinting down the corridor from whence she’d come.

 

“Wait! Adam!” she ran after him, “I won’t hurt you! I’m your friend!”

He trotted to a halt and turned to face her, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “You won’t lock me up again?” He sounded angry, but mischief burned in his eyes.

“Of course not.” She stopped where she was so as not to spook him.

He reached up to scratch at his short hair and scowled. When he spoke it was in a long string of rapid fire words: “I don’t want to go back in there I want to go out and play with the other boys, but they don’t like me because they know the teachers ask me what they’ve been doing. I want to go home at Christmas.”

Sunny decided she didn’t fully understand the first part so she ignored it. “You want t-to go home? Where is home, Adam?”

“I…” his face crumpled and for a moment she thought he was going to cry. “I don’t know.” He took a step backwards, “All the parents come and the others go home, but not me. I don’t have any.”

“What happened to them?”

“They…” he shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe they’re dead, or they didn’t want me, but they don’t come for me.”

 

What do I do?

Sunny was frozen, she didn’t know how to shut him up again, turn him back into a memory-locked AI, and suddenly it seemed terribly cruel. She didn't even know what that meant for him.  
"Well... Maybe I can find a home for you?”

“Really!? Really...?" His initial hopeful tones gave way to distrust. “Huh. I know better than to trust adults like you!” Despite his words he slunk back over to her, eyeing her warily, like a stray approaching suspect food. “I’m not sure you’ll like me when you get to know me.”

“Why do you say that?” She kept her voice as steady as she could, thinking of her blackmailed mother and trying not to let it show on her face.

“No one likes me, here.” He looked up and she inadvertently met his large blue eyes, the world hiccuped and she found herself back in the cockpit, her head aching and her heart thundering.

 

\---

 

For a long while Sunny just sat in the cockpit, staring out of the wind shield in shock at what had happened. Slowly, doubting the reality around her, she climbed out and stood on the hard concrete floor of the garage, blinking owlishly and kneading her head with one hand. She needed to think, to clear her head and get her thoughts straight.

"I need a drink."

Yes, get away from the Metal Gear and whatever was inside of it, and sit and calm down and think. Sunny drifted towards the canteen.

 

Twenty minutes later she downed the dregs of her coffee, pulled a face at the bitterness, and stood up scraping the chair across the floor, a plan in mind. She had to fix this, this was her mess and she had to tidy it up. As long as she remained careful around the memory banks, she should be fine and realistically, she shouldn't have to have anything to do with them.

 

The Wildcat loomed over her, and her resolve wavered as she walked towards it. Though its head was dropped down to ground level, it was still massive and its fangs glinted in the sunlight filtering through the doors, making her want to turn tail and run. Sunny took a deep breath and steeled her nerves before climbing into the cockpit. She sat back in the chair, biting her lip until it hurt, and reached for the link.

 

"S-shit..."

She raised and dropped her hands in dismay as, once again, the school surrounded her. She hadn't even had a chance to look for what she'd wanted before being sucked back into this... Whatever it was. Prison. Slightly calmer this time, knowing what she was in for, she took the time to consider her surroundings as she walked. This had to be based in a memory, presumably the same one as last time, but it wasn't the kind of thing she'd been viewing on the tablet. For one thing it was from her own point of view, and didn't seem to be following any set path. Sunny headed upstairs, pausing when she realised the banisters had been repainted since the last time she'd seen them. She rubbed her thumb over imperfections in the paint. Maybe then, this was a virtual reality based on memories, but not reflecting any specific one; the AI's core was designed to live within a world of its own memories, maybe, in the Wildcat's disrupted mind, the world had drifted away from the fixed track it was supposed to be on and taken a form of its own. Maybe that was her fault for coming here. She climbed onwards until she came upon the familiar door. Either she didn't need to be chased here this time or the figure haunting the halls was gone or otherwise occupied for she neither saw nor heard him.

 

Sunny paused outside the door, it looked battered across the lower portion as if it was kicked open more than any door was designed to be. She didn't remember that from last time. Knocking gently she waited for an answer, not knowing how else to get out of here.

"Who is it?" she flinched and took a step back.

"S-sorry, I was--" expecting someone else? Who else could be here? "Is that A-adam?"

The door was wrenched open and Sunny found herself staring at a boy about her own height, but considerably younger. He absent-mindedly scratched at a pimple on his jaw before dropping his hand. His eyes, the same pale almost grey blue that she remembered, were locked incredulously with hers.

"You?" He squeaked and turned around quickly to hide his embarrassment. "Are you going to explain this?" Aside from the occasional hitch in his voice he spoke precisely, almost pedantically.

 

At a loss, Sunny lingered in the doorway, knotting her hands together.

"Well?"

"W-well?"

He slumped against the wall by the window and stared out of it with the kind of disinterest only a teenager could manage. "I remember you, but I was kid when I last saw you." He shot her a look as if daring her to tell him he was still a kid, before continuing: "But you look exactly the same. And you lied to me."

"I l-lied?" She jumped back as he suddenly turned on her before snapping back to the wall, scowling until his eyes turned into dark slits.

"You said you were going to get me out of here," he muttered. "You said you'd find me a home."

"I--"

He huffed. "I wouldn't believe that nonsense now of course, but to tell that kind of thing to a little kid? Ugh, don't know why I ever listened to any of you people."

"'You people'?"

He shot her an unreadable look.

"Listen... Adam, I am sorry, I didn't mean to leave you here..." What are you doing, Sunny? She asked herself.

He scoffed and brushed a tuft of wayward sandy hair from his brow, his focus once again out of the window, outside there was the muffled distant sound of boys cheering.

"Why haven't you changed?" He prompted.

"That's hard to explain."

"Try."

"W-well..." She glanced about herself. "I don't think I know how."

"Then you might as well go." He waved his hand towards the door without looking at her. "I have work to do."

"Like staring out the window at the older boys playing baseball?" Sunny snapped, unhappy at being dismissed. "Fine." She turned and walked away, ignoring Adam gaping at her retreating back. "Maybe I can find a way out of here then." She muttered to herself.

 

"Hoi!"

Sunny ignored him.

"Hey come back!" he demanded, coming after her. "How did you know I was um, watching the game?"

"That's what you call it?"

"Shut up! And answer me!"

Sunny stopped and looked at him incredulously, finding it hard to believe this gangly teenager with a cracking voice could ever grow up into any kind of threat. "Well which is it?"

He crossed his arms across his chest and looked aside. "Just... You don't know the way out?"

"No."

"If I show you the way out, will you tell me how you knew what I was doing? You couldn’t see from there, I know you couldn’t..."

"...Sure."

 

Sunny trailed after him through the building, finding herself working hard to keep up with him. He kept shooting her unreadable looks and he never seemed to stop frowning. Finally they came to a large set of double doors in a foyer and he waved towards them dramatically.

"The way out."

Sunny blinked, wondering exactly what she'd been expecting, but at least if he thought this was the way out, maybe it really would be for her and she could get this all tidied away.

"So?"

"S-So?"

He scuffed his heel against the floorboards. "How did you know?"

"Oh..." she tried to look suitably ashamed. "I could just see some of it from where I was standing."

"What? But you, from that angle..."

"Sorry. N-no secrets."

"You're lying."

"No I'm n-not."

"I can tell," he growled. "I can always tell. Tell me the truth!" his bony fists clenched at his sides.

She glanced at the doors under her fringe and took a deep shaky breath. "W-well--" she lunged for the doors.

 

Sunny flew forwards in her seat, hands still rattling non-existant doorhandles, and fell heavily on the controls. She clung to the throttle as if her life depended on it, gasping for breath and staring around about herself for any sign of something being out of sorts. Slowly she sat back in her chair, getting her breathing under control. The computers howled, there was a sound of a door closing and she whimpered nervously and leant around the chair to look behind her, half expecting to see the school doors having swung shut behind her, reality and VR merging horribly. There was nothing there but the bulkhead. Sunny slumped back. This was reality, and no one else was there. She was alone but for the camera mounted above and behind the pilot’s chair. Sunny tilted her head back and stared at it for a moment then rubbed her eyes.  


“That was weird,” she said, half hoping to banish her fear with gaiety. Blinking until her sight stopped being fuzzy around the edges, her sight cleared and as it did she noticed one of the computer screens was illuminated and there was writing upon it: WHERE AM I?

She gazed at it until it was replaced with: WHO'S THERE?

"Oh no... He followed me?" Even as she uttered the words she remembered slamming open the doors, his hand grabbing at her shoulder, anger and fear washed over her, and she cringed. She felt overwhelmed by an urge to escape, sudden rapid waves of memories hit her, a lonely room, studying alone, left behind, tangled up with hazy recollections of her own time as a small child trapped in The Patriot's plans for her. Sunny doubled over, fighting for breath, thinking hard about her uncles and family to try and stay grounded in her own memories of the here and now. A dull ache in her gut and thoughts of her own family was replaced with ferocious rich-blue eyes and a reptilian smile gazing down upon her, the sensation of freedom crushed down on her shoulders and she tried to grab a hold of the man pinning her down. Sunny hiccuped and shook herself back into the cockpit.

 

The writing on the screen flashed: HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

“Do what?”

A pause as the writing vanished and Sunny blinked, wondering how she’d answered so quickly, then new words appeared: YOU SAW--

“Naked Snake. Who’s Nak--”

BIG BO-

“B-big Boss?”

MADE ME FE--

“I… did?”

There was a longer pause then hesitant and rasping over the speakers: “What is this... This is… wrong…” Sunny flinched and the Metal Gear shivered. They both shied away from the same thing: the onslaught of the other’s response. After a few moments they both calmed down enough to exchange realizations without overwhelming the other.

 

"Stay calm..." the rasping speakers told her. "Eugh..." Sunny grabbed at her head as their barely contained panic ricochetted from one to the other and turned into a burst of garbled thoughts.

"I a-a-am c-calm."

"Good. And so am I, and we're going to stay that way."

Sunny swallowed nervously, but felt unreasonably soothed by his distorted voice, as if his assurance carried real weight with it. She looked up, realising numbly that his practised calm was effecting her.

"Sunny..." but it wasn't the voice of the young man she'd just left in the school. Panic started to rise again and she buckled over as her thoughts triggered his and their thoughts hammered against each other's psyches in a chain reaction.

 

Ten minutes of struggling to control her reactions and not hearing but certainly responding to Ocelot's carefully crafted soothing words, and she was able to sit up, still holding her head in agony and when he slowly asked her: "Can you explain to me what's going on?" she was able to retain enough quiet of mind not to overwhelm him with her reaction.

"There you go... Talk to me?"


	6. Left Behind

 

" _Reasonable men adapt to the world around them; unreasonable men make the world adapt to them. The world is changed by unreasonable men._ "

– Edwin Louis Cole

 

They went slowly, carefully picking their words to avoid setting each other off into a cascade of intrusive thoughts. Ocelot was far better at clearing his mind than Sunny was, and each time they lost any control, she got fewer and fewer of his ideas and thoughts and memories. She in turn began to feel more and more vulnerable and afraid as she couldn't defend herself and she had no doubt he knew this perfectly well. Their uneven skills were a benefit to her in other ways however, each time their thoughts got out of control, there was a clearer and clearer line between them. Sunny was, through the maelstrom of thoughts and impressions, aware that if they could turn that line into a wall, they might actually be able to dominate this unwanted side-effect of the nanolink and regain some privacy.

 

The situation was beyond alien, but Sunny had marginally more knowledge than Ocelot on the workings of their individual and shared systems, despite her fear that gave her the upper hand—at least when they were calm enough to have a conversation. As an unconscious AI Ocelot had had a better defence against her than he did now that he was awake. All the things he’d done instinctively before to first evict then draw her deeper into his VR, were now strange to him. He knew he had shut Sunny out previously, but now he couldn’t remember how to, nor could he remember the circumstances surrounding the incident. Sunny was on the edge of panicking at almost a moment's notice, but she wasn't quite there yet and he was getting, through the fog of unassociated concepts, the distinct impression that something was Wrong with him and he didn’t know what it was. He wanted to understand the problem and evaluate it for himself—if nothing else he wanted to figure out where he was and clear his head because nothing felt right, not at all. He was starting to think he was drugged and that this young woman was a hallucination and he didn't know why he was entertaining her. The alternative was... Well he didn't want to think about that just yet, he was far too old to be starting with all that 'ghost' nonsense anyway. He’d woken up disoriented before, in hospitals, under rubble, in EVA’s apartment, Naomi’s lab… but the only thing familiar right now what that yet another young woman seemed to be in charge of him, but this time it was one he didn’t know. Naomi… Yes, shouldn’t she be here? They were… in her lab… Working on—Sunny took a deep breath and stopped talking.

 

Ocelot wasn't making a lot of sense, and that didn't surprise her. He seemed to think this was some kind of dream, ignored most of what she said and brushed off the rest. She was starting to think she really was just talking to herself.

 

"A-are you listening t-to me?"

She'd been trying to explain how he'd woken up, but since he had no idea what he'd been waking up from, or to, it hadn't been going well.

"Of course I am." His voice crackled over the speakers. "And then I followed you out of the boarding house and you woke up here." There was a hint of laughter to his voice she didn't like and Sunny just sighed and covered her face with her hands. In her throbbing head Ocelot stirred with discomfort and an idea came to her.

"You d-don't believe me d-do you?"

"I am fairly certain you are an auditory hallucination. So no."

"You can't s-see right now, can you?"

"..."

"What about now?" she took her hands from her eyes.

"So? I could be fast asleep right now for all I know, if this is just a dream then—"

"I'll s-show you more. Rem-emeber what I s-said about the Metal Gear?"

"Huh, yeah, like Peace Walker," he drawled. "Been a while since I thought about that old thing."

Sunny opened the cockpit and felt a jumble of emotions and thoughts as Ocelot processed this and was momentarily concerned. She dropped to the ground and walked away, her eyes darted around against her will and she started to feel sick so she turned on her heel and forced herself, and him, to look up at the hunched over shape of the Wildcat.

"Pretty s-specific isn't it?"

She could just hear the tinny reply from inside the open cockpit, the echo inside her head, but it was indistinct, a whisper of doubt. She headed back to the cockpit so they could continue talking in private.

 

The cockpit remained quiet as she climbed back in, the computers only showing the system status; power consumption was a little high, but then his computers were probably running hot to deal with all this new information. Hopefully that's all it was. She was still afraid his apparent stability was only temporary and he would soon start to deteriorate, maybe she shouldn't be pushing him like this. If he accepted what had happened to him, would he disassociate?

"You seem legitimately concerned that I might start to loose my marbles." He said softly without the defiance of before.

"I am." She could feel his resolve flexing, entertaining her point of view.

"Then what I think is me right now... Isn't."

"I think you're s-seeing things through me right now, s-so no. That, might be m-my fault. Um... Can you feel this?" She reached past her chair to the breakers and depressed one.

Outside the cameras mounted in the Wildcat's head whirred and inside her head Ocelot gave a small cry of surprise.

"I disabled most of the, of y-your, motion controls, but some s-sensory ones too, in case... In case you woke up and weren't-weren't controllable."

"Controllable?" The growl was louder inside her head this time.

"I'm s-sorry, I..." Her skin crawled as she felt him fishing about in her head with rapidly burgeoning control.

"You were trying to... Fix me?"

"You're not s-supposed to be awake..."

Her fingers dug into the durable cloth of the seat as he raged internally, and her head started to feel like it was going split open. Then, as suddenly as his temper had flared, it died away and instead he seemed curious and distracted by something. Sunny sunk into her chair waiting for his next move.

 

_You seem concerned about the... My... Computers?_ Sunny blinked rapidly in surprise as his tense voice sounded directly inside her head.

"H-how?"

_It's nanomachine communication technology at its heart, I've used it before._

"Oh yeah... Of course... Heh."

_What?_

"Nothing I just..."

_I have your biometrics._

"Y-yeah, I'm your re-re-registered pilot."

_Oh really?_ He said dryly. _Well then, registered pilot, you're not doing so well._

"No..."

_How am I doing?_

“Okay, I-I think, nothing in the r-red yet. Can't you tell?"

_I just wanted a second opinion. What kind of design is this? Can’t even take a little heat…_

“The s-system wouldn’t normally get that h-hot except when-when processing huge amounts of data—on the battlefield or s-something, at which time your engine would be r-running and pumping cool air into the computer bay,” she finished in a rush to bypass her stress-induced speech impediment. “In m-maintenance you’d have air pump-pumped in from an external s-source.”

_Sounds uncomfortable. I have a computer bay. I have… Engines…_ His current predicament was sinking in in stages, occasionally he hit a mental block, but all things considered, he was adapting well and Sunny was happy to hear him curious rather than dismayed.

 

“Engine. S-singular. And batteries.”

He fell silent, then: _How did this happen? Tell me!_

Sunny pressed the heels of her hands to her head."D-don't s-shout...”

_Gurlukovich…_ The growl reverberated through her and Sunny shivered.

"Later... I need to get home. My head hurts so much..."

_It is getting late._

Sunny looked up, sure enough it was getting dark outside.

"Oh c-crap, Uncle Hal is going to be s-so worried about me. How am I going to explain this?"

_You were working._

"Y-yeah... I guess I was." She arched her back to retrieve her phone from her back pocket and realised it was off. She turned it on to three missed calls and sighed.

Ocelot remained blessedly quiet as she called home, apologised and explained herself and asked for a lift home.

 

When she hung up silence reigned until Ocelot said: _I suppose I should thank you for waking me up then, or ‘Resurrecting’ me, whatever you want to call it, rather than leaving me stuck in my own memories._

“D-don’t thank me just yet, if anyone finds out they’re likely going to want you d-destroyed, and I’ve not d-decided if I should s-say anything or not yet. Besides, I didn’t d-do it on purpose.”

_And I’m not particularly happy that you were riffling through my past, either._

“Yeah… S-sorry about that. Really. I didn’t think.”

_What were you looking for?_

“My mother.”

_Oh. Then you…?_

“I know what happened. What you d-did.” She waited to see how Ocelot would actually deal with someone like her, most of his victims didn’t stay alive long enough to throw his wrong doings back in his face, but if he was phased by her existence and recollection he didn’t show it, there was nothing but curiosity in his thoughts when he asked:

_How did you get away?_

 

“R-raiden,” she said. “You remember him?” He grunted in reply, “He found me, I was th-three.”

_Three…_ He echoed. _Big Mama sent him?_

"Apparently it was a bargain, for information. I d-don't know how she knew where I was."

_Oh that one's easy._

"Huh?"

_I told her._

"You d-did? Why?"

_Another time._

"No, I--"

_Your 'uncle' will be here soon. It can wait. He left you with Doctor Emmerich, and Snake, correct?_

"Yeah... It was s-supposed to be temporary, to hide me from Patriot eyes until a f-fake identity could be procured and a ‘real’ home could be found for me,” she shrugged. “But it never happened. Not that I m-mind. They were the best family I could have asked f-for.”

Ocelot gave a sardonic chuckle. _Doctor Emmerich and Solid Snake adopted a daughter. Well now. I should have expected it I suppose, Snake always was a lot like his father; he took in strays too._ Sunny wasn’t sure how to take that and was struck dumb, unable to inform him that she was considered their niece, if not by blood. Ocelot didn’t leave her unsure for long.  
_Including myself._ He added with a chuckle.

 

“You?” She hesitated, running through her mind all the stories Snake had told her and Hal, and those Hal had written down that she’d later read. “You’re t-too old to be an Outer Heaven orphan.”

_You’re the one reading other people’s memories, you tell me! No, Big Boss and I met when we were both young men, in the 60s._

“You miss those days.” Sunny pointed out, unable to escape the fondness in his voice or the nostalgia he emitted. “Good times?” she tried to remember what, and how much, she’d seen from then while rummaging about his head.

_The clothes were awful._ Ocelot sniffed by way of an answer. _But why are we talking about this? My life is on the line here, I’d much rather discuss my future prospects, not my past ones._

"You just d-don't want to talk about it."

_That's not a crime now is it?_

"Not that, no. Well, you asked for it: you’re a prototype, created to run tests as proof of concept. Only now, if anyone finds out about you, you’re-you’re likely to be r-retired. Killed,” she clarified. “And the chassis you inhabit will modified to take a normal AI. I can’t imagine anyone here will d-defend you. I can tell you my uncle will not be on your s-side. I d-doubt anyone will be. But m-m-me.”

_You? What possible interest do you have in me?_

“You’re the last person left a-alive who knew my mother. Other than my uncle, and he's t-told me everything he knows. You have information I want. Of course I also caused you to R-resurrect, I d-don’t want them to d-destroy you because of something I’ve d-done. You may be a monster but you’re not here by your own volition.”

_You’re a better Frankenstein than Frankenstein. I appreciate a mad scientist that doesn’t run off after creating a monster._ Sarcasm dripped from every word but he couldn’t hide the amusement he felt either, it’d been a long while since anyone had talked to him like that without simply bullying him, there was no malice rattling about in Sunny’s mind.

 

_Excuse me?_

“I said d-don’t try anything. You can’t try to run away, you can’t move on your own. I’m keeping you s-set to manual for now, but I can’t pilot like th-that, when you’re on partial-auto you can’t let anyone know you’re a-a-alive.”

_I’m a prisoner inside this machine?_

“If that’s what you want to c-call it. In hiding is probably a better term for it.”

_Why should I do what you say? Why not hand you in and pledge my loyalty to this company?_

“You think they’d believe you? You’d just r-ruin both our lives. No, you have a great opportunity here—”

_To be your_ _obedient pet project_ _?_ He snarled, and Sunny was baffled by the repulsion he felt.

“We both want freedom—” she jumped on his desires and ran with them. “—and independence. Well you’re not going to get that d-dead. The s-stories… Yours, Big Boss’, Solid S-Snake’s… They came out into the open after you d-died, without The Patriots to keep it under con-control there was nothing anyone could do to s-stop it. There are s-so few people who know the full truth though, even S-Snake d-didn’t know everything that you were d-doing--”

_Wait._

“Hmn?”

_The Patriots are gone?_

“Y-yes. Mostly anyway: the frame work is still th-there, but the AI is no more, it d-doesn’t control anything and these d-days even the most basic parts of what’s left are mostly obsolete, it didn’t t-take long for humans to move out of its d-domain and leave it behind, there have been a lot of problems, infrastructure failing and no one responding to it,” she shrugged. “But yes. The Patriots are gone,” she smiled. “You w-won.”

_I… Won…_

“Uh huh. Technically what you wanted was to throw the world into chaos and war, but I think that was only for Big Boss’ s-sake, right?” A vague sense of discontent came from the Wildcat. “But Big Boss told S-snake that th-that wasn’t what he wanted any m-more," Sunny pressed. "He just wanted The Patriots g-gone.”

_He told him, but how? He was... He was brought back?_

Sunny rubbed her temples, was that her headache or his? How much time had passed, was Hal here yet? She glanced at her phone: no message.

“Yeah. You don't remember anything? We're not s-sure who was behind it, it might have been Big Mama, it might have been you and Naomi. He didn’t last long after you d-died though. F-foxDIE… Killed you, Eva and him. He went to Snake knowing it would k-kill him.”

_I have a lot to catch up on._ He said sombrely and Sunny mentally cursed, he didn’t remember anything from that time, and she’d just dropped the deaths of his friends on him, not that he couldn’t have known it had happened, considering her age, but she was giving him a lot to deal with all at once. “A-are you going to be okay?”

_Mn._ Then thinking it useless to try to hide it: _I’m not sure what I’m going to do now, everything I fought for is gone, or done. I_ _really_ _won?_

“Yeah." Her phone flashed, her ride was here. "We'll talk about it later. I got you into this, I'll help you figure s-something out."

 

“You know... I grew tired of people telling me my uncles were criminals years ago, of having to pass exams on modern history and writing lies about them, of living my life now according to people who want to keep my uncle and I captive. You’re not the only prisoner here.” She waited, but he seemed to want her to continue. She stood up, popping the canopy. “We both know what it's like to be told the people we love are 'bad'. I want to know the truth. Maybe we can even set the record s-straight. It can’t be used against you now—that time is over. Why s-shouldn’t you tell people what you were fighting for? Maybe it'll be a new way to fight for your freedom."

_When The Boss turned traitor to save her country,_ he said slowly. _She told a fellow defector her story, so that the right people could know the truth. When I had to lie about who I was, there was no one I could tell. If I mentioned anything to anyone I would be uncovered, the only person who knew anything was Naomi and she..._

"S-she didn't leave much behind."

_Except me._

"Huh?"

_You should go._

"S-sorry."

_For what?_

"I have to s-shut you down, and I don't know what that will do, but I don't think it's going to be pleasant."

 

She shut down the Wildcat despite Ocelot’s protestations, and headed off. Her head spinning from the sudden lack of intrusion and the migraine that had settled in about an hour before hand. Her skin crawled to think about how much he must have found out from her just from fragments of memories and thoughts, and the comfort offered by knowing he’d not been able to hide any more from her was poor. A number of things stuck out through the fog of her headache: His interest had been peaked by her rough idea, and he had no other plans at this moment in time to act on alone. While he was shaken deeply by his new situation his outward show of confidence and inner concerns both seemed to be aspects of a fully conscious and comprehending mind, not one that was rejecting its new situation in life. Her talking to him had probably been a good distraction, maybe it had even helped him become aware without panicking or breaking down. Stable or not however, there was no way she was leaving him online all night with nothing but his own thoughts to keep him company. The last thing that stood out to her, that weighed heavily on her mind as she rested her head back against the head rest and Hal carefully drove to avoid the potholes for her sake, was that there was a lot of pain hidden under his jokes and braggadocio. She’d witnessed the loneliness in his memories but now that there was a mind to go along with them, and a distinct lack of personal-thought-space. She felt chilled by the ache that filled him so completely and which spilled over into her world, it was familiar and she felt compelled to do something about it.

 

Before she stumbled up the stairs to bed, unable to handle dinner, she snuggled into her uncle's arms and held him tightly.

“What’s this?”

“I miss S-snake.”

“Oh... Me too, Sweetheart.”


	7. A Headache

" _Never trust a survivor,” my father used to warn me, “until you find out what he did to stay alive._ "

\--

Kurt Vonnegut, Bluebeard

 

 

Sunday.

Otacon was sleeping soundly in his office, his cheek shmushed on the keyboard. Sunny was left to enjoy the earliest part of the morning alone, sitting in the kitchen. The day was blessedly calm and innocent in comparison to what had come before, which felt like a bad dream. It had taken a while for the reality of the day before to settle in and when it had it brought with it a miserable gloom.

 

Sunny had stood by the window listening to the boiling kettle and staring at the bland plants in the garden. In spring the garden would light up like the night sky, Stars-of-Bethlehem against a green sky of grass. They’d been here when she and Hal had moved in, neither of them had felt inclined to remove the prolific white flowers, they might have been weeds then, but they felt like a good omen. This morning she looked out at what was left of them, dead now, no pure white petals left, and remembered with startling clarity a kind but strange older woman giving her one to distract her for a little while. She'd explained to Sunny what they'd meant, but the words had faded with time and Sunny rubbed the top of her head in frustration trying to remember them. Memories leaking through from a time she should have forgotten, but which had been so vivid to her sheltered child self that they’d been ingrained in her memory. The kind woman, the graves these flowers decorated, the one whose ashes were buried but who wasn’t dead… A tremor ran up her spine, her arm twitched, she spilt scolding water over the counter.

 

As a means of distracting herself from worry and of fixing her thoughts while she had the house to herself. Sunny wrote up the whole incident on her laptop, running carefully through the events leading up to the Resurrection and, for posterity’s sake, the state of mind of the subject, notating alongside that she knew of no other AI to have retained its sanity for so long after becoming self-aware. Reading through her spontaneous memoirs detailing the last week or so, she finally noticed something that separated the Wildcat’s AI from those that had come before it: unlike other MB-AIs, she had been there to help the thing become conscious. She had been relatively consistent with her intrusion into the memory files, starting early on and working her way forwards, only becoming more erratic the closer she got to the period of time that Olga Gurlukovich had been in Ocelot’s life. Sunny had found, to her dismay, that that period had not only been of considerable length, but Ocelot had had a lot on his plate and the memories were many and varied. She’d aimed to start with her own kidnapping and work backwards, but before she could do so she’d found herself trapped inside that nightmare academy and just—she cursed herself—opened the ‘door’ to the outside world. Was that the key?

 

“I said I’d find a home for him,” she flexed her fingers. “Did I mean that?” In reflection, she thought she did, or had. Facing a young boy all alone and afraid, of course she’d meant it! But that wasn’t who she was dealing with any more, though he was still alone and trapped, that at least was true. Maybe he was frightened, she would be in his place, but if he was he’d been doing a good job of hiding it from her. She sat back in her chair, hearing Hal getting up and shuffling about. She decided she wouldn't tell him just yet, he would put a stop to this whole thing immediately and she didn't want that, she was curious. The Wildcat was under her control.

 

\---

 

Monday came too soon. Before she knew it the car was turning off the road and onto the extra wide reinforced road to the base. This road would have made the Romans proud, it jutted out straight from the Research base, alongside the town and then faded into the Bufferlands that surrounded all towns this close to regular sites of conflict. The Bufferlands were torn up and populated mainly by scrub and stray dogs and ghosts. The ground never stayed still for too long and it was often used as a training ground for Metal Gear pilots, until they were taken further south for more extensive excursions out in the ‘real world’, sure, because you could always take that long to plan your actions in battle. Sunny grimaced, wondering, and not for the first time, what Snake would have made of this. Probably would have disapproved of the whole situation, of her involvement in it. She wasn’t doing this to prove anything to anyone, she wanted to work with Metal Gear, simple as that. Right? Trying to look on the brighter side Sunny tried to think herself privileged for having the chance to work with Ocelot, if temporarily, if he didn’t revolt again... He’d made it to a good age, he knew how to handle himself in a war zone and he’d been a Metal Gear pilot himself one of the earliest. Really he was ideal as an MB-AI and she could see why he'd been picked. Aside from the sociopathic tendencies of course, and the compulsive lying and backstabbing... That might be a problem.

 

Sunny rode in the passenger seat feeling ill, and her uncle was savvy enough not to say anything to interrupt her pensive silence, though when he stopped the car he did give her shoulder a squeeze and smiled in encouragement. How often Snake had gone off on a mission with the feeling of Hal’s fingers lingering through his sneaking suit? She got out of the car thinking of Hal’s faith in the both of them that they would do okay on their missions, determined to figure this out and get it right, guilty that she hadn't told him the truth. So Hal went to work and Sunny went to get breakfast from the engineer’s canteen—keeping an ear out for any rumours from the garage, there were none, no one but her had interacted with the Resurrected MB-AI over the weekend.

 

“Morning’,” Sunny mumbled as she climbed the scaffold to the cockpit, she didn’t get a reply, which was what she’d been expecting anyway. Within a few moments the computers burst into life and the Wildcat was booted up, the checks ran, completed with no errors—that was something at least—and Sunny found herself holding her breath as the start-up program scanned her nanomachines for authorization to be on board. Then something nudged the side of her head. She raised her hand instinctively to bat it away, but there was nothing there. It came again, lighter this time but insistent, realizing what it was Sunny awaited the ranting following his unwanted shut down. It never came, instead a groggy hungover-voice said: _The hell was that?_

“Huh?”

_Huh? That. What you did?_

“I… shut you down?”

_Never, ever do it again. Damn. It’s like being hit in the face with a chloroform soaked cricket bat._

“I can’t just—”

_Find a way. What’s that?_

“Pasty.”

_Pasty… I am so hungry._

“But you don’t have a stomach!”

_Tell that to… whatever part of me wants that pasty. Steak?_

“Yep,” she smiled to herself at the mumbling sounds that followed, “Hey, not sure about you but the—” she waved her hand vaguely, “—cross over, mind reading thing doesn’t seem so bad today.”

_Young women,_ he said by way of an answer. _Have very loud emotions. There’s someone approaching._

“It’s Bran. You’re going to stay quiet right?”

_I am nothing if not quiet._ Sunny scowled. _I won’t say a word._

 

Bran climbed nimbly into the cockpit and after a brief conversation with Sunny—during which she stashed her clandestine and highly desired pasty under the seat—about the state of his son’s school report, and her uncle, Sunny nudged the large machine out of its bay and into the sizeable turning space in the centre of the garage. It was a lot like a stable, though the Metal Gear weren’t separated into defined stalls, merely indentations in the concrete inner wall. The building was designed to protect the machines at their most vulnerable, when they could be attacked from the air or from the ground. The garage was little more than a gigantic bomb shelter. Sunny caught a stray whiff of discontent as the Wildcat was turned about and walked down the centre of the garage. Ocelot was casting about and found only emptiness on either side: _I’m the only one?_

Sunny didn’t dare answer, but she guessed he’d pick up on her thoughts anyway.

 

For all the gloom that had settled over him and had lapped at Sunny’s consciousness, Ocelot perked up once they were outside. Sunny paused, as required, to take in the surroundings and check for obstacles and potential hazards. She took a little longer than necessary so that Ocelot could look around the base and get his bearings. _The last thing I remember was rain on a tin roof._ Sunny looked up at the blue sky with its few high cirrus betraying the low temperatures above them, then nodded to no one in particular and followed Bran’s directions out to the obstacle course.

 

It took all of half an hour before Ocelot’s impatience started to infringe on Sunny’s concentration. He muttered excuses, but it didn’t help any, no matter what she did she couldn’t shut him out. By lunchtime her inputs had become jerky and halting. Bran stopped her and said it was obviously time for a break. The moment he left, Sunny groaned and dragged her hands over her face.  
“You are hard work.”

_I am trying to be quiet._

“I know, I know you stubborn hot headed interfering old man.”

_Well now, I don’t know what I did to deserve that._

“You keep criticizing my work!”

_You keep doing things wrong._

“I didn’t used to, before you came along!”

_I was always here._

“Well you’re distracting.”

_Thank you,_ he chuckled.

“That was not a compliment.” She laughed as she retrieved the rest of her pasty and set about eating it.

 

_Maybe I could have a go._

“What? Of my pasty?”

_No! Of navigating the course._ Sunny went to interject but he continued. _I’m sure I could do it if you let me. I won’t stay immobile forever you know._

“Ocelot—”

_It doesn't matter if I agree with you. Sooner or later someone is going to find out about me, besides you of course, all they’d need to go is a scan on my systems to find out I’m not running like they expected, and I’m riddled with progress recording software, its recording outside of my own systems as well, I can’t do anything about it—yet anyway. They’re going to find out! And I want to be able to stand on my own two feet when that happens._

With a sinking feeling Sunny admitted that he was right, and muttered: “While no one is here—they’re all at lunch. Not the course! Just… try walking alongside it, get the feel of that.” Ocelot scoffed at her lack of faith in his abilities, but when she switched him to semi-auto, so that he had basic motor control, she was vindicated.

 

“Well that was good!” She choked once the initial shock of being flung from her seat wore off. Ocelot snarled and picked his nose up out of the dirt.

_This thing has a different centre of gravity to RAY_. Was his excuse for his close examination of the ground, luckily the auto-balance was working correctly and stopped him from toppling over entirely. His next attempt was somewhat more successful and having taken one shaky step he paused to flex all his new joints. _I’ve not felt this supple since I was a kid,_ he purred. _Though I somehow doubt I’m actually as flexible as I was._

“Oleo-pneumatic shock absorbers in your legs, your arms too.” Sunny drew the restraints into position so she didn’t go flying about the cockpit again.  


To test her statement Ocelot bounced lightly on what would have been his toes and felt the smooth compression and recoil in the smaller sets of absorbers, it was slight very slight, but it was there.

_How do I feel this?_

“All Metal Gear have nanomachines throughout their bodies now, for simple repairs and health monitoring, they can move to where they’re needed, unlike wires, and can be reprogrammed to take up certain positions without the maintenance technicians needing to crawl into cramped spaces. They’re giving you most of your readings, though there are more traditional gauges as well, in the high temperature areas of your engine, that sort of thing.”

_So if I get inj-damaged?_

“You can’t feel pain, I think, you should just get a reading saying you’ve sustained damage and where and the form that damage takes.”

_Well that’s a plus._

“But you also can’t heal, the nanos can patch up single bullet holes, tidy sharp edges, free locked joints or clear debris from bearings but they can’t put you back together, get damaged and you’re in the hangers to be fixed, then you’ll be just standing there for however long, a few days to a few weeks while they fix you up, run diagnostics and,” she sighed. “That’s when they’re likely to discover what you are, if they don’t notice before then.”

_Avoid damage. Not much has changed then. I mean I have a tiny woman in my head but other than that everything seems pretty normal._

“I’m not tiny, you’re huge, and doesn’t that worry you?”

_That you’re tiny?_

“I’m not tiny. No, that everything feels normal? You just went from being human to a giant machine in what must feel like overnight. How can that feel normal?”

_You are tiny._

“Can we please drop that?”

 

By the time Bran got back Ocelot had walked the entire circumference of the obstacle courses three times, and once with no mistakes. Sunny cringed inwardly when she took the controls and the Wildcat’s movements became stiff and mechanical again, it had felt so smooth under his control, even when he was staggering.

_Sunny—_

Bran was giving Sunny her new instructions: “I’ve got us permission to leave the grounds; I thought getting away from this would do you some good, I’ve noticed you don’t do well with repetition.”

_Gurlukovich!_

“But we’ll stick to the road for now, maybe if you seem a little calmer later we’ll take a quick sortie out on the buffer okay?”

“O-okay.”

Ocelot grumbled but his meaning had gotten across to her, and once they were out on the road Sunny reached up to double check the dials and surreptitiously flicked the Wildcat from Manual, where she'd put it when Bran had returned, to Semi-Auto.

 

Like most Metal Gear the Wildcat had four control settings: Full Manual, where the pilot had total unaided control over the machine, Manual, where the AI’s most basic systems such as the auto-balance were running (this was the normal setting for training), Semi-Auto where the AI exercised more control, (this setting was used in the real world where the machine would interpret the pilot’s impulses before the input was put in) and Full Autopilot, were the AI had total control or acted upon preset instructions, in most cases this meant it would home in on its base and make for it, in the Wildcat's case this allowed Ocelot almost full control over his chassis.

 

This time Sunny felt the subtle change from pilot to AI immediately, she bit her lip hard in fear, but he did exactly as she asked of him. Only the outputs suddenly felt a lot more natural and easy. Bran looked up in surprise. “This feels better!”

“Thank you,” she said, gently increasing pressure to urge the machine onwards.

_You’re welcome._

 

Sunny looked back to the controls, the machine around her thrummed and she smiled to herself. Out in the open air already, the world unfolding around him, different from what he remembered, but the outside never the less with no physical walls or ceilings, Ocelot sighed in relief. For a moment his engine speed picked up, the power output gauge jumped and so did Sunny.

_That’s new._

 

The rest of the day unrolled smoothly, Bran gave orders, Sunny input, Ocelot carried out. She felt like she was lying through her teeth, and so did he, but unlike her, he was enjoying it. On the way back his mind wandered to being allowed out on his own, but Sunny’s response, though wordless, was enough to squash that dream for now. When Bran asked to be dropped off by the office building, Sunny made it up to him by sitting back and leaving it up to him to go back to the garage under his own power, he took a longer route then necessary, but they got there in one piece.

 

_Shutdown?_

“No,” she answered in response to his unenthusiastic question. “I have a better idea. Here, can you er... follow me?” Ocelot felt her push past him and head for the remote controls of the Wildcat, she’d had very little practice with them but she could find what she wanted. She held back from manipulating the machine directly, but if Ocelot could find what she was feeling for… He did, and a moment later the Metal Gear wound down into silence. Sunny crossed her arms and after a couple of minutes the Wildcat woke up again.  
“Well?”

_Have you ever been lucid in a dream?_

“It’s hibernation, for quick starts, but it’ll be obvious if anyone needs to do any night maintenance, and then I’ll have to go back to shutting you down again, I’ll only be able to claim it was a mistake the once. This way your batteries won’t die in the night and you won’t be obviously up and running, should keep you hidden and avoid the headache that shutting down gives you.”

_Sunny?_

"Yeah?"

_You don’t stutter all the time._

“Huh? Oh. N-no, hardly at all in fact.”

_Did I scare you before?_

“Hasn’t there ever been someone you were afraid of?”

_No._

“I can still hear enough of your thoughts to know you’re lying.”

_You don't seem so afraid now, you're still nervous of me though._

Sunny bit her lip.

_Probably for the best._

 

Sunny drew a worried face on the window of the car in condensation with her finger. “Hey, Uncle Hal?”

“Yes, Sunny?”

“Do you think shutting down computers gives them headaches?”

“I strongly doubt that.”

“Hmn.”

“Why?”

“Just wondering."


	8. The Interrogator

 

“ _I’m not much for talking. You know what I do. I put guys in body bags when I’m right_.”

\--

Mike Tyson

 

 

"You can’t just come into my head and start ordering me around.”

_I think you’ll find I can._

“Hal will hear!” She hissed threateningly.

_He’ll hear you. I'm not making a sound._

“I wish that were true.”

_What was that?_

 

Sunny tapped her finger impatiently on the keyboard, resulting in a series of disapproving square brackets. She was half way through an e-mail and hadn't asked for his input. She had tried to ignore Ocelot, hoping he’d get the hint and go away, but he was bored and insistent and curious to a fault. He wanted to know what she was doing and wanted to watch, but it's hard to type when someone is looking over your shoulder and she really just wanted him to go away. Go away back to where ever he'd come from so she didn't have to deal with this nightmare any more. The worst of it was the he wasn't a nightmare. He wasn't giving her any good reason to seriously dislike him or turn him in at all—and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t want one. He was annoying sure, and had no sense of personal space (her personal space anyway, his was sacred,) but he was bright and sociable and funny. All round a troublingly pleasant companion. It was easy to see why so many people had been taken in by him.

 

"Listen... I can’t talk in my head like you can, you know it gets all jumbled up. My uncle will hear me, and don’t pull the ‘he’ll find out sooner or later' card, if he panics you won’t stand a chance against him, and I'm not fighting my uncle for you.”

_Doctor Hal Emmerich, not panicking, that’ll be the day. I doomed._ Sunny made a growling noise at the back of her throat, hearing her uncle moving in the room directly below hers.

_Try practising._ He said dryly. _You're perfectly capable with effort._

She frowned, then groaned: “I can’t think of anything to say…” he started laughing and she leant her head in her hands smothering her embarrassed smile and thought very hard: Am I ever going to—Ineedtogetthis—get rid of you—Hal'srightthere!?

_Ouh,_ he returned. _No need to shout! And... better I guess._

 

_So, who are you writing too?_

Sunny pursed her lips, trying not to move them: _A friend of mine from when I was a little kid—  
_ "—why?" She sighed when she found herself muttering.

_Just wondering about what you said before, about telling people what really happened, setting the record straight? For all it's worth..._

Sunny looked up towards where his voice seemed to come from, there was nothing there of course, but it was better than just playing this out like she was talking to herself: _did you want to do that?_ _We could start writing something?_

_Already?_ He instantly sounded doubtful. _Seems a bit soon._

“Why not already?” She caught herself whispering again and scowled, forcing herself to stop: _Unless you can think of something else to do?_

He sighed but seemed fairly engaged so Sunny pushed the laptop away and drew over a pad of paper. _We’ll start rough._ She said, smiling at Ocelot’s dirty chuckle. _Yeah yeah… and we’ll refine later, I don’t really know where to start, so for now anywhere is good, right?_ There was a weighty pause, and his discomfort was obvious, she shook her head. _I know you’re not used to talking about this sort of thing, or anything I guess, but you are interested aren’t you?_

_Yes…_

_Well then—_

_But I don’t know the full story myself, Sunny._

Sunny leant back in her chair, unconvinced. Ocelot was right, he didn't know the whole story. Anything that took place after this record of him was made was a mystery. Sunny didn't think he really needed to know what he'd missed to tell her something that had happened decades before, but maybe it was only fair that he hold all the facts, before he divulged more that might very well be relevant. Sunny closed her eyes. As far as his memories told him there has been no insurrection, no Outer Haven and no final battle against Solid Snake, the last few tumultuous years of his life had been wiped from the face of the Earth—almost.

Sunny pushed away from the desk and stood up.

“Wait here.” She said before realizing how daft the comment was, “Oh never mind, shut up.”

 

Sunny ran down the stairs and nearly bowled her uncle over as he was coming out of the kitchen. “Sunny! Careful,” he stopped her from toppling over the bottom stair, where she’d slammed on the brakes.

“Uncle! Have you got the video from the last mission?”

“Huh?”

“Oh you know, with Liquid Ocelot and Rose…?”

_A video?_

“Sunny are you okay, you’re pulling faces?”

“I’m fine, I just need the videos.”

“They’re on the top shelf in my office. Sunny!” He called as she ran off. “Are you quite sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine, Uncle!”

"Well what did you--! Want for dinner...?"

 

She had to stand on tip toe to pull the external hard-drive down off the shelf.

“Why does everyone around here have to be so tall…” She muttered, an exaggeration as she wasn't much shorter than her uncle. She caught the silver slab as it slipped over the edge. “There’s a good couple of days worth of footage here,” she whispered, brushing the dust off the drive to reveal the hand written notes on the front. “There’d be more, but there’s not much point in following Snake around for hours as he goes from point A to B.”

_I didn't realise they kept videos... Is that the only copy?_

“It was Hal's idea, to review the mission for things they might have missed, and of course not, we--”

“Sunny? Are you talking to me?”

“No Uncle!” she called back, “Just talking to myself!”

_Sign of madness: talking to yourself._

_So is talking to you._ She made a point of keeping her mouth shut as she replied and slunk back out of the office and up to her room.

 

_You have to be looking!_ He snapped. _How many times do I have to say?_

_I’m sorry but I need to keep an eye on the clock._

_There’s the clock on the screen, girl._

_But the one on the wall is fast, and I set my uncle’s watch to it, so he’s never late for anything, including dinner._

Ocelot huffed.

_You might as well do something else over dinner, since you can’t—_

_Humph._

She ignored his verbal pout. _Is there anyone around?_

_A couple of support workers._

She turned her eyes back to the clock, and ignored Ocelot’s growl.  
_People watch then! Time I go down and help lay the table anyway._ She paused the video and for a moment looked fondly at the interior of the Nomad, the aeroplane that had been her home for so many years, “I miss those days.” She said. “Even if you—or Liquid, were causing us to much trouble.”

She got no answer. Determining that he was giving her the cold shoulder or was peering at the unsuspecting workers, she went downstairs to Hal. He was at the stove. Sunny bit her lip as he straightened his glasses. She'd spent most of the day talking with Ocelot, and she still hadn't said a word to Hal about the incident that had resulted in the AI's Resurrection. She hadn't even considered letting on about Ocelot himself. As far as he was aware nothing unusual was going on, he spoke occasionally of the Wildcat's AI as a potential future threat, oblivious to how close that potential future was getting, to how close his old enemy was. Her stomach turned.

 

“Uncle?”

“Hmn?” He looked up. “Hey Sunny, find what you were looking for?”

“Uh-huh. Uncle Hal, did you know Revolver Ocelot on S-shadow Moses Island?”

The plate in his hand rattled as he put it down. “Not well. No. We didn’t work together if that’s what you’re asking.”

“No but did he… I don’t know I was just wondering if you could tell me anything about what he was like?”

Hal remained silent for a while. “Bored. Unhappy.” He said finally.

“Oh?”

“I think playing Liquid’s lackey grated on his nerves, he certainly didn’t make much of an attempt to keep up his pretence away from his ‘boss’.”

“What was he pretending?”

“To be some kind of yes-man... No, more like... He wanted Liquid to underestimate him, and I guess it worked. I saw him with Liquid a couple of times, particularly when I was hiding, after I met Dave. He would simper and ask all the dull questions idiot lackeys are supposed to ask, Liquid was… He liked flattery, he never noticed Ocelot getting information out of him.”

“I never would have pegged him as vain.”

“Not vain. I think he... He was always trying to prove something to the world and himself. Ocelot pandered to his complexes and stayed as his right hand man—ha.”

Sunny retrieved the cutlery and set about laying it. “You said he was different away from Liquid. What did you mean?”

“He was sharp, watched everything like a hawk, I don't know how much he learnt in those days but it was more than he was letting on. Sometimes he just hid in weird spots.”

"Weird like Uncle Snake?"

"No... Used to find him in stairwells sometimes, if they had windows. Then he discovered my office, no one but me, none of the guards questioning his coming and going. The only reason I knew he was approaching was because of those spurs he always wore. He could have been as an accomplished an infiltrator as Snake if he’d just taken them off.”

“What did he do?”

“Not much. At the time he terrified me. Used to just haunt the place. Sit there spinning his guns for ages or he’d flick through files; mess with figurines or stand behind me and ask questions by leaning right up to my ear—he was full of questions, on anything and everything.” Sunny nodded to herself. “I didn’t have much experience with it at the time, but looking after you when you were growing up made me realise he was like a child in some ways. Curious, cruel, he could look you right in the eye, covered in blood and smile like he was proud of accomplishing something, and look so injured when Liquid yelled at him. In his mind, I don’t think he knew that he had done wrong, not until he got into trouble anyway.”

Sunny gnawed on her cheek. Hal shook his head.  
“Maybe?” He said. “I don’t know, I don’t want to guess what was going on in his head, I don’t want to know either.”

He put their food down upon the table and Sunny stared at her dish for a few seconds before asking: "Do you think that's really true? That he doesn't get it when he does something bad?"

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. Even with me, he'd make some gesture then look so intently at me, I didn't know what he wanted."

“You never said he spent a lot of time with you?"

“To be honest, I didn’t want David to know, he never did stop having nightmares about that place; I didn’t want to give him new ideas. It’s not like Ocelot ever said or did anything important anyway, he was just… Really nosey, bored and didn’t like to be stuck with his boss all the time. If anyone can relate to that, it’s me! But he was scary... And sometimes... Not.”

"Not?"

"He liked Wolf." A touch of resentment came into Hal's voice. "The others in Foxhound tended to wind him up, they had all these skills and powers and he was just the interrogator and an older man at that. Wolf didn't treat him like that though, she wasn't specially nice to him but she was decent, she was just that kind of person." He sighed. "When Wolf let me look after the dogs, it was Ocelot who arranged to let me out of my lab, it was him who rigged the floor to be electrified and he would switch it off when she asked. He was my only guard a few times when I went down to feed the dogs. He liked them too. They only seemed to obey him and Wolf."

"I had no idea."

Hal shrugged. "Well it was never very important, just something that happened. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious I guess."

 

_Are you done gossiping about me?_ The venom dripped from his tone and Sunny cringed.

“Just trying to find out more about you.” She muttered, swinging about in her office chair to face the window. “Didn’t realize you were eavesdropping. Besides! What else am I going to do to find out stuff?”

_Ask me?_

“Yeah, sure, would you have told me any of that stuff?”

_Given up on not talking?_

“Too tired to bother.” She sighed. “Hal went around the block to post a letter, it’s just us. We didn’t get much done today did we? I was hoping to get started on the notes. I can’t believe you quit.”

_I did no such thing. I merely want to know the end to my means._

“I don’t know why I’m showing you these videos, we don’t owe you anything.”

_You're angry at me._

"Yes! No... I don't know. I shouldn't have been talking about you behind your back, I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything but she felt forgiven, somehow this made her feel angrier.

 

Sunny took a deep breath and swallowed her anger, it could wait until she understood it.

 

"Was Hal right? Did you like Wolf and the dogs?"

_Yes._ He said sadly. _They reminded me of something I had once, and I enjoyed her company._

"I didn't have you pegged as a dog person."

_I like animals... Used to train dogs too, but interrogation produced quicker results and I was pressured into focusing on that._

"You didn't choose to be an interrogator?"

_It was more complicated than just a simple choice, it was a good cover for me, a prime source of information and for making information what I wanted it to be, for the sake of my mission. It had unfortunate side effects however._

"Like hurting a lot of people?"

_It hurt me too._

"You don't... You didn't like it?"

_As I said. It's complicated._

"So... Are you really a sadist, like they say?"

_Yes._ He said bluntly. _But there's more to it than that, more to me._

"I mean, of course, but—"

_I am more than just an interrogator._


	9. Disturbance

 

" _The most powerful force ever known on this planet is human cooperation_ _–_ _a force for construction and destruction._ "

–

Jonathan Haidt

 

 

Ocelot sniffed, thick communication cables curling in the air like an irritated fighter pilot’s whiskers.

"Put them away before someone sees."

_Don't you think they suit me?_

"Sure, but I don't want to have to come up with some crack pot explanation as to while you’ve got manipulator arms out.” The cameras mounted on his head swivelled chameleon-like in her direction, and Sunny crossed her arms, unwilling to be side-eyed into submission.  
_Women_ , he spat, _will never understand how important a man’s facial hair is!_

“So important you’re willing to give yourself away, I take it?”  
He grumbled. Slowly the cables hissed back into his muzzle.  
“Do you have an answer to my question yet?”

 

Ocelot had barely given her any rest as long there was footage left unwatched from Liquid Ocelot’s days, and so long as he had questions on the topic left unanswered. He’d let up when it had started to impact her ability to work his controls. She’d dozed off, it had only been for a moment, but long enough to make them stumble. There wasn’t any great rush after all, he'd said, he could bother her while she was awake! In hindsight he probably shouldn’t have told her this in quite the way he did. She willingly retaliated by bombarding him with queries about anything that popped into her head, sometimes quite irrelevant things, but mostly about his past and so the days had come and gone, with many questions and not a lot of satisfying answers.

 

_Not yet. No._

“I’d have thought you’d at least know your own mind.” She waved him down and he leant down and the cockpit hissed open. “But I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you don't."

_I’m all for telling the world what happened to us, but you’ll excuse me if I don't think it'll change many minds, and for wanting to keep some of my life personal._

“Just tell me the story and then we can figure out what to leave out.”

_Hmn._

“You worked for the president of the United States, don't ask me to leave all of that out.”

_Bran is coming._

“We’re continuing this tonight!” She hissed as the canopy closed and the Wildcat raised its head.

_You just want the first hand scoop on the youngest president in history._

“Is that so much of a crime?”

_Yes, he was underage.  
_ “Haha. I mean wanting to know about him.” __  
Huh, and here I was, thinking you actually wanted to know about me, Sunny I’m hurt.

"No you're not."

 

Bran wasn't joining them immediately, he called her on her nanomachines and she jumped at hearing his unfamiliar voice in her ear. Bran's voice told her to head out into the yard and he’d catch up. They were going out to the Bufferlands, he wanted her to have a wide arena to stumble around in.

_What does he mean?_

“I think he means we’re going on all fours.”

_Huh._

“I’m not sure if I’ll be able to give you a go, not with him watching so closely. Should give you a feel for it though.”

_Can't be weirder than not using my arms most of the time._

 

As Sunny ran through her pre-op checks, no one grew suspicious over the Wildcat’s head swinging around, watching people walking around the hangers. No one cared about the way the cameras whirred and settled on the RAY crouched by the gates. It did get a few glances when it swayed where it stood and wriggled its arms slightly, as if it were stretching after sitting still too long but figured it was just the machine's pilot testing something.

“Careful…” Sunny mumbled taking them out to the front of the complex.

He twitched his tail arrogantly, but stood quietly. Sunny sat back, considering if putting her feet up on the dash or having him compliant was the more important.

 

A dusty looking training REX with a dented beak stomped out of the garage and passed them by a few metres. The radio crackled and Bran said: “We’ll just use the radio today, I want you focused on the work not using your nanomachines. You go ahead; you’re faster. I'm sending you the coordinates now, add them to the system then go ahead—over.”

Sunny cleared her throat, gave him the affirmative then said to Ocelot: “Got it?”

_Loud and clear._ He answered. _Should be on your map now._

“Yeah.” She nodded. “Go ahead.”

_Me?_

“Who else?” She squeaked in surprise when the Wildcat took a sudden long step forwards and trotted out through the open gates, picking up into a loping run the moment they were out in the open. _“You’re going to get us in trouble!”_

Ocelot chuckled. _He’ll catch up._

“Yeah… And then we’ll be in trouble.”

_You don’t sound that bothered somehow._

Sunny smirked and shoved forwards on the throttle. "You're a bad influence on me." The engine howled and power output soared. The Wildcat’s long jaws dropped open and it bellowed, the Metal Gear signature saurian scream, and surged forwards with renewed vigour.

 

The Wildcat halted where they’d been directed and Sunny wound off the throttle until the machine’s engines were merely throbbing.

"We’re only a couple of miles away from town." She observed and the Wildcat turned in the direction of the buildings and trudged up the nearest rise—one of many in the undulating terrain—to add a few more feet to its already impressive height. "What do you think?"

_Not so many years have passed, and yet so much has changed. Those buildings are all new. And poorly made._

Sunny shrugged. "Whatever was here before was destroyed, all along the border the towns are like this, small, pseudo-military, flimsy, everyone ready to get up and move in an instant—in theory. This one has been here a while now though."

_Pseudo-military, what do you mean by that?_

"That’s what the Benedict Business Research Company has brought us. On paper it has nothing to do with the military, they just build the Metal Gear and lease them to the forces, which ever branch wants them. Only it was easier just to merge the two, there are a string of BBR sites along the border, behind us—” She waited until the cockpit was swung around and the open barren lands behind them came into view. "—There are actual military sites, I’ve not seen any of them myself yet though, only on the TV."

_Doesn’t seem so different to the world I created._

"No. It doesn’t does it? I suppose once the war economy was started it was hard to get rid of, once Outer Heaven was removed from the scene there was a rush to fill the void."  


_So who is the enemy this time?_

"Anyone who attacks us." She scoffed. "Right now there's a Mexican PMC, known as the Balam, who are a big threat, someone on the other side wants to push the Bufferlands back and claim ground for themselves. It’s never simple though. All the countries your efforts weakened are now prey for anyone else with enough money and strength to attack. We have allies, and the technology left to us, though the development of Metal Gear back pedalled with limited resources. You are the most advanced in years and yet still based on technology first put forward in the 70's. Whole countries have turned mercenary, what lies farther south of us now is little more than a mixing pot of any number of aggressors, all squabbling over land and resources. Thankfully it's not our biggest threat, the damage that created the Bufferlands has also made it undesirable, so they prefer to fight each other and leave us alone. Except those who like how little competition there is."

The cockpit lurched as he gave a slight nod. _They have Metal Gear?_

"Sure, after you flooded the black market with them, who doesn't? Not always in such good condition as BBR's mind you, but dangerous none-the-less. These lands, the Bufferlands, are pretty much no-man’s-land because of Metal Gear. It’s been peaceful for a while, but sooner or later we’ll be out there."

_I’m only a prototype. Will they send us out?_

"I…" She hesitated. "I don’t know, I always knew I’d be out there, but that was before you. Now I have no clue. Do you want to fight again?"

_That is not such an easy question to answer. Where are we?_

"Closer to New Mexico than Denver, and probably not on many self-respecting maps from your day."

_How old do you think I am?_

She grinned. "About 80, 85? How old were you in 2014?"

_You should never ask a gentleman his age._

"I’m not, I’m asking you."

_Emmerich and Snake were bad influences on you._

 

Bran eventually showed up in the REX, and talked Sunny through the controls until the Wildcat was standing firmly on all fours. Ocelot had to resist both the urge to stand up on his legs again and the urge to curl his new thick claws into the torn up ground. His face would have burnt in shame if it had had any blood vessels, it was not a position he found immediately comfortable. Sunny experimented with the complex controls. Each limb could be moved independently, or in pairs, walking and running motions were simply part of directional input. The autopilot interpreted most of the signals to get the sequences right, the pilot just needed to get her timing right.

 

Bran sat in the open cockpit of the REX, watching the Wildcat wobble back and forth in front of him with concern. Both pilot and AI were getting tired and frustrated, they both knew perfectly well they didn’t learn well like this. Ocelot was getting an idea of how things needed to go, but with Bran there he had to allow Sunny total control. All it did was hamper her progress as the AI deliberately avoided making his own movements and inadvertently fought her.

“Sunny.” Bran voice crackled out of the speakers. “We’re being called back, sounds like there might be some trouble. Nothing imminent, you can walk back like that—Over.”

“Okay Bran, turning back now—Over.”

_I was hoping he’d go ahead._

 

Bran led them back towards the road, intending to follow it back to the base along the edge of town, there was a well defined path here, worn down by the passing of giant feet. The REX was soon lagging behind, even competing with the Wildcat's unsure steps. As it did so Ocelot relaxed and stopped fighting Sunny. Bran smiled to himself as, from his point of view, the Wildcat's movements grew smoother and Sunny grew more confident. They were just passing between two hills on a path well trodden by BBR's Metal Gear, when going ahead of Bran ended up saving their lives.

 

_What do you think the disturbance was?_

"Don't know, could just be a GEKKO scout getting too close for comfort, although there have been a few AMEDs planted over the last few months, none hidden well enough to go undetected, maybe they've found another and they're just calling back anyone out in the field."

_I think I knew an Ahmed once._

"Anti-Metal Gear Explosive Device."

_He was a bit of a downer too. Well I suppose it was only a matter of time before someone made a mine big enough._

Sunny shook her head. The low mounds of sandy earth blocked out their view and she felt the Wildcat's controls tug under her hands as Ocelot tried to climb one instead of going straight alongside the road.

 

Some larger rocks discarded from the construction of the road were ahead of them and Sunny warned Ocelot not to try to step on them, they'd probably slide free. They took a step sideways and as they did so a small topless camouflaged vehicle shot out from behind the rocks and bounced erratically down the path with a shower of stones and loose earth. Sunny blinked uncomprehendingly at it as the passenger turned and looked back at them, fumbling with something.

"Ocelot wait!"

 

Bran's REX came into view and he looked up in bemusement at the Wildcat stood on the slope just above him, one paw raised, frozen in place.

There was flash of white and the Wildcat vanished in a cloud of smoke and dust.

"Shit! Sunny!"

 

Sunny screamed as her vision was obscured and a loud crack made her ears ring. The Wildcat stumbled backwards, claws slipping, unable to comprehend why the previously solid ground seemed to fall away from under it. Ocelot cursed thinking of his one outstretched arm and wondered hopelessly if he was trying to walk on a stump right now. Then they fell heavily onto one shoulder, this shook some sense into him. The Wildcat rolled back to its feet as the worst of the dust hiding the world from sight was blown away, quickly turned and leapt back the way it had come. Its previously mired feet were wrenched free of the land slide and it landed safely back on solid ground. Bran's relief at seeing the Wildcat appear from the dust and smoke unharmed quickly became confusion as the Metal Gear nimbly climbed down what remained of the hill, it seemed to have no issue trotting in a circle to take a good look at the damage the explosion had done. A bite had been taken out of the hill where the dry ground had become a small avalanche, but the damage to the Wildcat had been mercifully small, one of its claws wasn't retracting and its forearm was scratched up, but the remote detonation had been to give the escaping personnel cover and hadn't been directly under them.

 

Sunny gazed at the scar in the land where they'd been standing, the gouges where they'd fought for balance in the confusion just visible. The path under the hill had been obliterated.

"Bran would have stepped on that." She said quietly. "If we'd taken the normal route and hadn't climbed above it, if we hadn't been called back early... We'd have stepped on that."

 

The Wildcat swung around like it was piloted by a pro and Bran stared in shock, unsure of what he’d just seen; it couldn’t have been all Sunny. She was known to be good, to learn fast and learn how to apply knowledge quickly but that was surely beyond her—how could she go from shambling to bounding free like that in an instant. Was she having him on?  
He shook himself and called in on the radio: “Sunny! Are you alright?”

“W-I-I’m fine. Just a little shaken up.”

“Get back to the base.” Sunny nodded then remembered he couldn’t see, said “Yes” then got back on track. Glancing at the road as she went, the landslide had half blocked one side, luckily no one had been caught in it. A couple of cars were edging out around the mound of dirt wondering what they'd just missed. Now that she was coming around and realising that Ocelot had gotten them out of trouble, Sunny was growing increasingly concerned about Bran. He couldn't know that what he'd just seen was not her at the Wildcat's controls, and she couldn't very well take over now and wobble back to base after he'd seen them leap out of the dust like that. At the very least he'd think she was taking the piss. He would have questions. Sunny felt ill. Was this it already? Would they look into how the Wildcat had reacted so fast and realize? Could she fake it? But then what happened when Bran tried to teach them something new again and they struggled. Again.  


She felt sick and buried her face in her hands as the Wildcat silently turned towards home. Ocelot was lost in his own thoughts, which nudged at Sunny.

"Ocelot?"

_I should have just let us fall, shouldn't I?_

"Probably. I didn't know where anything was either though."

_Apparently I still have reflexes._

Sunny looked down at her hand and flexed her fingers. "Are you okay?"

_A couple of my fingers have been damaged at the joint, one of my claws won't move, but it's nothing much._

"You were afraid it was worse at first, I felt it."

_Thought I might have lost another arm._

"That would have been careless." She laughed weakly.

_Sunny._

"Yeah?"

_You said I couldn't feel pain._

 

Bran was silent on the way back, but when they got to the base he had Sunny take the Wildcat to one side, ordered her to get out and wait there for him to return. Sunny leant against the Wildcat’s nose, gnawing on her lip, watching his REX lumber away. It felt like an eternity before she saw Bran returning on foot, with Hal in tow. Hal saw her lingering by the quiet machine, and hurried to her side.

 

“Sunny, are you okay, I heard what happened?”

“I’m fine, Uncle. Just a bit shaken up, the Wildcat's fine too, though I think its claws might be slightly damaged.” He seemed uninterested however, and just kept looking over her as if she might suddenly reveal a terrible wound. Then Bran caught up and took Hal’s arm, drew him away around the side of the Metal Gear and started talking in a hushed voice to him under the guise of checking the machine for obvious damage. Sunny saw through it and Ocelot could hear and let her know what they were discussing.  
  
Bran was suspicious and telling Hal what he'd seen and asking if she could be hiding her abilities from him. When Bran let Hal go back to Sunny, the concern on his face had deepened. She put on a mask of uninformed confusion.

“Sweetheart, Bran tells me you made surprisingly adept moves in the Wildcat when the explosion happened. I told him you wouldn't deliberately lie to him about what you can do." He hesitated as Sunny's gaze averted. "Would you?"

"No Uncle Hal."

"So what happened?"

"I guess the p-pressure just... Helped."

"Hmn... Have you noticed anything strange going on with the Wildcat?”

“Strange, Uncle?”

“Bran says you were fighting with the controls most of the exercise, but then reacted expertly to the bomb. Sunny... Is there any chance that the MB-AI...? You know I'm worried about this..." He glanced up at the towering grey Metal Gear. "I just want to know what's going on."

 

Sunny’s hesitation was miniscule, but Hal knew her well and had learnt quite a lot from his years with Solid Snake. Sunny saw his eyes narrow slightly as she answered late: “It didn’t d-do anything weird, I just acted quickly.” She laughed weakly. “Quicker than I thought I could really. I was s-struggling before but I had to think quickly when things went wrong, I just work well under p-pressure I guess.”

“Sunny are you sure? You know, if anything is going on with this one, we have to know.”

Bran had come up to them, frowning. "Doctor Emmerich, we need to take a closer look at its systems, I told you that there have been unusual readings lately, power consumption is up, CPU usage is higher than normal, close to what we were seeing in old MB-AIs towards the end of their lifespans, and now this? I don't doubt Sunny is capable, eventually, of what I saw today, but I've been watching her work and it was like two totally different pilots.”

Hal sighed, looking up at the machine and running his fingers through his hair as he contemplated it. “You know how dangerous this could be, if even an inkling of the AI woke up—”

“I want a full scan of it, maybe even tests to try and antagonize it! If we can get the AI reacting again—”

“Bran, I don’t think that aggravating it will help anything, besides we don't know it was acting outside of it's programming. The pilot and AI are supposed to work in tandem, the situation may have just amped up its control over hers.”

"You don't believe that."

Sunny looked from one to the other as Bran seemed determined to put the blame on the MB-AI, though she hadn't expected him to be so sure something was awry, and Hal tried to stop himself from jumping to the worst possible conclusion.

 

“I only came to you before Doctor West because of Sunny’s involvement, but I’ll be telling him everything. There’ll be a full investigation into the state of its MB-AI, and I assure you Doctor Emmerich, if there is anything wrong it will be rectified immediately.” He beamed and Hal nodded gratefully.

“But Uncle,” Sunny interrupted, “there’s nothing wrong, I just moved out of the way, the AI is s-supposed to anticipate my actions, right? You don’t need to do any tests.”

“You’re probably right.” Hal pushed up his glasses. “But you know why we have to be careful.” He turned and looked up at the naturally aggressive snarl of the Metal Gear, the edge of its fangs glinting in the sun through a mask of fresh dust. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way, I really do, this is unfair on you.” He turned back to her and Sunny fought hard not to look away from his sad eyes, but they soon dropped away again. “Bran, get Doctor West involved, he should know what’s going on, and hopefully he’ll be wise enough to act quickly if something is amiss.”

“He will be, Mr Lewis has been informed on the details of this whole case, and he was not pleased with West, it seems like he wasn’t entirely honest with him either and now he’s a little more concerned about his job security.”

“Huh...”

“Sunny, wait here, we’ll need you to take it in as soon as its cleared for the hangers. It’s quiet and I know for a fact that electronics are kicking their heels, we shouldn’t be long.”

They weren’t long, though Hal remained absent when Bran returned and bid her pilot the Metal Gear into the hangers, Bay 4.

 

Sunny retired to the refectory, poured herself a black coffee and set about filling in her report on the day’s excursions, which she was sure took her two or three times longer than anyone else’s reports as she worked at covering for Ocelot. Sitting back and sipping her coffee she tried to focus on today’s notes, but found her heart was still racing, she turned her guilty gaze out the window and towards the hangers. The doors were closed.  
“Be okay." She whispered. “Don’t let them find anything.” Catching herself scanning for his system despite knowing he’d be offline she shook her head and looked back at the paperwork. She just stared at it, feeling numb and brain-dead.

 

“Why do I bother?” She sighed, getting a confused look from another pilot trying to concentrate. She tapped her pen on the mottled table top then filled in the sections loosely, they could handle one lazy report. If the tests on the Wildcat turned up anything there would be more to worry about anyway. It wasn’t as if there was much to say: the Wildcat worked well in and of itself. Though she had noticed the response time on the right arm was slow, she thought that was worth noting, as it hadn’t loosened up with use.

Sunny stared at what she'd written. What if that's just psychological? She wondered. And I've just done something else to draw attention to him?

“Sunny?” She looked up with a start. “Do you want me to take you home?”

“Hey, Uncle Hal… No, I’ll wait.”

“They’ve only just started the analysis.”

“Well… I’ll wait for a bit, I still need to finish this." She quickly shuffled the papers. “If they’re done with the Wildcat, should I move it to the garage?”

“Better go ask them, I’m not sure if they still need it.”

Before she left Sunny took a moment to kiss him and tell him she loved him, a pit growing in her stomach over how disappointed he was going to be in her. For a moment she considered telling him everything there and then, get it over with, what was Ocelot to her in comparison to her uncle? But the words died on her lips. She couldn't do it.

 

She filed the papers on her way out, then sprinted across to the hangers, scaring a man herding a group of GEKKO across the concrete as she darted across in front of the lowing machines. The Wildcat was silent on the way back to the garage. Sunny settled him in his bay and curled up in her seat.

"Does it still hurt?"

She waited for him to say something but he remained shut up within his own head. Sunny's eyes drifted shut against the blue light off the cockpit control panels and she dozed. Sinking into the warm gloom of the cockpit. She was snapped out of her slumber some time later, and she blinked in confusion at the clock on the dashboard: an hour? Had she actually fallen asleep?

_Sunny?_

“You are s-still there then?”

_You’re not getting rid of me that easily, girl. What do they know?_

“I’ve not heard anything yet, but I s-suspect they’ll find out everything. There's no way this," she gestured vaguely. "Has gone unnoticed." She hiccuped, “Oh I h-hate you. Why did I ever think this could be a good idea?”

_Because you’re naïve._

“Now you s-start being honest.”

_And probably too kind for your own good._

"Heh. Really?"

_You want me to lie?_

“Go ahead.”

_Well then... It’ll be okay. I'll offer myself up to the work force here and deny that you did any of this of your own free will._

“I’m going to lose my job.”

_I’ll look after you: I’ll tell them I used your nanomachines to influence you into not telling anyone about me._

“…Did you?”

_No._

“Are you still lying?”

_No._

“How can I tell?”

_You can’t._

She reached out into their nanolink and felt his amusement.

"You're telling the truth?"

_Well you've looked after me so far, I like that arrangement._


	10. Cat's Out of The Bag

“ _I believe that man will not merely endure. He will prevail. He is immortal, not because he alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because he has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance.”_

\--

William Faulkner

 

 

Sunny brushed her hands against her overalls as she walked across the garage. She was still intent on removing excess water the hand drier hadn't dealt with when Bran came running at her, she didn’t notice him until he was all but on top of her.

 

“Sunny! Wait!”

“Why?" Her blood froze, "What’s happened?”

Sunny stopped and waited for him to catch his breath as he choked out: “Bad news, the printouts are showing abnomalities across the board, engine output and power consumption isn't corresponding with scheduled activity, the CPU is running at high levels, and have you not been shutting it down at night?"

"Um..."

"R&D have been monitoring some strange activity too, they thought it was just you and I, but I cross referenced it to the read outs and your presence on base, the Wildcat has been moving when you've not even been on base, let alone in its cockpit!" He missed her shooting the Wildcat a frustrated glance from the corner of her eye. "Nothing huge, nothing anyone would even notice looking at it but the inputs are there, but it shouldn't be moving at all! The computer hasn’t been suggesting anything is wrong to you right?"

"No." Which wasn't a lie.

"I've certainly not seen anything that suggested faulty communication between the computers and hardware... After seeing it react so smoothly the other day though, I'm starting to wonder if 'wrong' isn't the word for it." Sunny stared at his flushed face, Bran was starting to look almost excited. "There’s stuff here that should have been triggering red flags right from day one, I'm sorry Sunny if we'd noticed we’d never have let you out in it, the Wildcat is in quarantine until we know what's up." He gave the Metal Gear a regretful look.

 

Bran took her shoulder and turned her away from the machine and said emphatically: “It's going to turn out just the same as the other MB-AIs, it could wake up and go haywire at any moment, we don't want another King Ray so we can't push it, I didn't realise how bad it had gotten.”

“What are you going to d-do?”

“Doctor West is tearing his hair out, Mr Lewis is coming down any moment now, I think they’re going to wipe the whole system and start over with a custom built AI.”

Sunny blinked and looked up at him.  
“A-a synthetic?” She watched him carefully and saw his eyes harden for a moment.

“Of course." He sounded off, bitter almost. "MB-AIs aren’t stable. I don’t know how they built the Peace Walker in the 70s but we can’t replicate that technology now, and we've certainly been trying, if only the damn machine hadn’t been lost…” he trailed off regretfully.

Sunny didn't think this answered her question, so she tried: “What shall I do?” Bran looked up at the Wildcat hunched in its bay, the soft glow of its head lamps betraying it.

“Shut it down.” He said. "I'll come out later and move it to the hangars."

“But you said—”

“I know, but we can’t leave it up and running, it should be okay for you to just do that. I’ll wait and then go back to West; your uncle is with him now waiting for Mr Lewis. We'll probably have to wipe your imprint from the computers as soon as possible.” He moved out of range of the Wildcat, eyeballing it the entire time.

 

“What do we do? What do we do?” Sunny hissed through her teeth as she put her foot on the first step up the gantry.

_I don't like how he's acting._

"No?"

_He's not telling us everything._

"What do you what to do?"

_I want answers, we've as good as had our hand forced anyway._

“Huh?” She looked up the Wildcat's protective irises flexed open and the brilliant light forced her to close her eyes. “What do you—wait!”

 

Bran, who'd been toying with his phone, looked up on hearing her yell and opened his mouth, but no sound came out. The lamps flared brightly and blinded him. Bran stumbled backwards rubbing his eyes desperately trying to rub away the black spots the danced in front of him. Feeling the slight tremor of the solid concrete flooring, he tried to move backwards faster. He hit something solid with his heel and looked up into the snaking camera-ended arm of one of the Wildcat’s whiskers. A strangled noise escaped his throat and he pushed back against the object he'd hit; the side of the Wildcat's claws. The Wildcat, like all Metal Gear, had been built with fear in mind. With its huge mouth agape, showing off the piercing fangs and crushing plates in place of a tongue, the hollow cockpit open, displaying proudly the lack of pilot at the controls. Sunny stared at them, frozen in place from shock at how much he'd figured out about himself, and why shouldn't he have? There was a drawn out hissing sound of the manipulator arms sliding out of their holds and curling menacingly towards Bran like the tentacles of a particularly irate and muscular octopus. Bran whimpered as the stun weapons in the Wildcat’s whiskers crackled threateningly under the sound of the Metal Gear itself—or maybe it was a trick of the mind, as Bran was unable to take his eyes off the weapons designed as much to incapacitate a pilot once the thick fangs had pierced the enemy cockpit as a man on the ground. He didn't want to know how it would feel to be hit by one of those. Ocelot for his part reflected on the benefits of not having sense of smell upon noting the spreading dark on the left side of Bran's trouser leg.

 

As always was the case Ocelot’s snarling voice was distorted by the speakers but it made his guttural voice no less menacing, in fact the crackling made him sound worse. He made sure to enunciate clearly as he laid down the facts for his captive.

“We had been hoping to keep things on the down low for a while longer yet, but as you seem determined to interrupt our progress, here I am: perfectly stable as you can see." Bran nodded rapidly and Sunny frowned as his fear seemed to be elbowed in the ribs by awe, something close to a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “You may like to note that I have done nothing but obey your tiresome commands since day one, and truth be told—” he purred “—That’s the only thing I intend to do. Let me spell this out for you: I know perfectly well I depend on this company for my continued survival, I don't need to be told that. I would offer my services willingly in exchange for my on going security. I don't know about these previous MB-AIs you've tried to build but I feel just fine."

Bran's mouth worked silently.

"So here's the thing, I'm sure there's no going back now, there must be CCTV cameras in here, correct?"

Bran nodded rapidly.

"So the cat's out of the bag." He laughed.

"This isn't really the time for jokes." Sunny said quietly.

"Now then, do you really want to destroy the first MB-AI to remain stable after consciousness has occurred? You might never know what went right."

"I-I don't want that!" Bran cried.

"I didn't think so. Now..." The Wildcat leant closer, tucking in its chin to bathe the terrified man in glaring light, until his eyes ached even through his tightly closed eyelids. "What aren't you telling us?"

"What? What!?" Bran sounded almost hysterical.

"Ocelot, back off..."

He ignored her. "You're not a good liar Bran, maybe good enough to fool Sunny or these others, but not me. So tell me Bran: Why did you want Sunny to leave so you could move me yourself? That's not your normal gear."

Sunny took a closer look at Bran and, indeed, he was wearing his light armour underneath his normal overall coat. It was the uniform fully fledged pilots wore when going off base, to protect them while in the cockpit.

"Bran, were you going off base today?"

 

Bran's eyes darted about. "No! I mean… Yes, but...!" The whiskers arched and the two manipulator arms clicked their metal tipped fingers in a pinching motion, as if considering which part of Bran would make the more interesting noise if pressure were applied.

"Bran..." Ocelot rumbled.

Sunny stepped forwards. "Ocelot, someone is going to come in here any moment, stop this."

 

The Wildcat's whiskers curled back and the machine rocked backwards on its haunches. To Bran's relief the huge metal paw was removed and he was able to step backwards.

"Ocelot," Bran said with a gasp.

“Run along now," Ocelot snapped, forgetting his questions for the moment. "Tell your Doctor Jude West and this Mr Lewis who they’re dealing with. Oh. And change your trousers. You’re a mess.”

Bran swallowed. "Oh, West knows." He nodded rapidly and mostly to himself then with a violent shiver he fled from their presence. Sunny glanced at Ocelot.

_You're right, someone could have seen, it would have looked bad—but I'll get the truth out of him soon enough. Go with him, he might tell you something._

 

Sunny ran after him and didn’t stop until she'd caught up with him. He was shaking like a leaf and there was a nervous grin plastered on his face. The moment they came up to the changing room doors he yanked her into the women's—there were only a handful of women on base who had reason to use these rooms, they were unlikely to be disturbed.

 

Sunny wrenched away from him.

“How long?” He gasped.

“How long…?”

“How long has he… Ocelot... He been like that?”

“Oh." Sunny looked down at her feet. "S-since a few weeks after I took over I guess. Maybe n-not even that long.”

"And he's been like that the whole time?"

"Like that?"

"Stable!?"

"Y-yeah..."

"You didn't say anything, why?"

She looked up grimacing, “I know it was s-stupid, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to see him k-killed when it wasn’t his fault, I brought him back—”

“No no!" Bran held up his hands. "This is incredible."

"You're not angry?"

"If you'd said anything he would have been destroyed immediately... Wait, you brought him back?"

“By accident!" All the worries from the last few weeks came through and she shook her head and snarled her fingers into her hair. “I d-don’t have it in me to hand s-someone over, knowing what’s going to hap-happen to them, not even him. He was m-my responsibility, and I didn’t just want... I didn’t just want you to…”

"It's okay," Bran took her shoulders. "He's... Scary, but I don't want this opportunity wasted. I'm on your side."

"Y-you are?"

"Yes, but we need to be careful, we need to know he's safe."

"I d-don't think the AI is..."

"No I'm sure it's stable, I'm worried about him."

"...Oh."

“Does he have full control over that body?”

“Y-yes. I guess s-so. Wait, no—only what the autopilot would have had.”

“Self defence systems?”

She shook her head. "Anything pilot-locked is s-still just that."

"Well he’s not armed then…” Sunny wasn’t listening, she was too busy making sure her connection to the Wildcat was closed, she gambled that the directional mic wouldn’t pick up her words clearly enough for him to make them out from here but she didn't want him listening in. She bit the inside of her cheek and breaking into what Bran was saying: “Don’t s-say anything about the King Ray in his presence again.”

“Huh?”

“The King Ray; never mention it near him again. I know why he fought, if he finds out that Big Boss’ memories were used to build the King Ray, that it woke up, he’ll go after it. Maybe not straight away but he will. Right now he’s lost, has no plan, no mission, no reason to d-do anything. He’s probably in the one state of mind where he might just be trustworthy, not in the long term maybe, but for a while, he’s… adaptable, he’s surviving now—nothing more, our best bet is to-to occupy him… Give him work, he’s a soldier, just let him do his job and he'll be fine, we'll be fine.”

Bran blinked slowly. "But the King Ray—"

"I know, it was destroyed years ago, but he'll still go to it."

"Okay, okay... Does anyone else know about this? Your uncle?"

“No. He’s going to kill me when he finds out what I’ve done, but I knew that from the s-start.”

"I wouldn't blame him."

"I expected you to be angrier at me?"

Bran smiled sadly at her. "I tried to be but I'm honestly just impressed, it's not your fault it was Ocelot used in that thing, we all knew it would probably go wrong."

"Except West apparently."

"Except him."

 

Sunny left Bran awkwardly rinsing out his unpleasant trousers in the sink (this time in the men's changing rooms,) and returned to her ward. She found herself looking down the length of the garage at him, but unable to approach. His move on Bran had been the first time she’d witnessed him move utterly independently of her. Having had time to dwell on it she was now reluctant to approach. Those huge paws carried the threat of bodily harm, though as his pilot the Metal Gear was unable to intentionally hurt her. His speed and strength was suddenly unfathomable to Sunny and her mind reeled. So instead of returning she chose to sit outside the building on the cold ground, the sky grey-blue above her. There were dark clouds on the horizon, and the air seemed chillier than before. Sunny was almost grateful. Worse news was coming and it didn’t seem fitting getting it on a bright pleasant day. She wondered if she'd be able to look on the sun the same way again if he was sentenced to his death under it. Would it make it so much better under a grey sky?

She closed her eyes.

David’s funeral, such as it had been with so few to attend, had been on a grey day. In fact it had been raining and she'd gotten mud on her shoes. She hadn't washed it off for days afterwards.  


When she opened her eyes again they were drawn to a small movement over the compound, and she watched a crow of some sort flying towards town.

"I should just go home, wait for this to play out."

A grating sound from behind her made her close her eyes again and lean back against the corrugated iron, willing herself invisible. Listening to each dull thud, the whine of hydraulics, the lazy scrape of claws on concrete. She tried to remember how many steps it took for the Wildcat to reach the doors. By the time she decided she couldn’t remember and opened her eyes, the long wedge shaped head was jutting out above her, lamps glowing dimly in the daylight. It was strange, seeing him not even trying to hide and it made the massive weapon system seem more intimidating than before.

 

“Can we talk?” He growled, and she jumped, realizing he was still shut out. She relaxed her defences and instantly felt his reproach.  
_What were you talking about?_

“Just... What he was going to do.”

_And?_

“He's on our side."

_Why?_

"I think he's impressed, or curious, I'm not sure which."

_I don't buy it._

"Maybe not, but I think he's telling the truth about wanting to help."

_Why did you keep me out?_

"I wanted to get a word in with Bran in private. You didn’t need to make him piss himself you know.”

_Got the point across didn’t it?_

“I don’t think I knew it was actually possible to piss yourself in fright—I mean… Of course I knew, but… I... I guess I didn't expect it to happen.”

_It’s pretty humiliating._

“You’d know how it feels, huh?”

The Wildcat’s head swung down slowly, and she cringed. _There are things in this world that have hurt and scared even me, you’d do well to bare that in mind, girl._

“Does this scare you?”

_I can't fight, but I can still run._

“For how far? Until you run out of fuel? To where? There’s no one who’d take you in.”

_You have enemies. Everyone has enemies._

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend?”

_Close enough. What does Doctor Emmerich say about all this?_

“I don’t know yet, he’s not come down.”

_Well it's time to find out: he’s here, with company, we have an audience._

 

Sunny stood up, but couldn’t see past the bowsers by the hangers and the fire truck beyond them.

“You can see through my eyes… But what about me... S-show me?” A prickling feeling ran up the back of her neck, the sense of being pointed in the right direction, and suddenly from on high she could see the apron in front of her. The large fuel bowsers looked like toys, the hangar like a neighbourhood car garage of reasonable size, instead of the behemoth construction it seemed to human eyes. There was a pixilated quality to the world, a prototype's low resolution—but one of the figures approaching from the offices and emerging now from behind the fire truck was obviously her uncle. By the hangars, the audience that Ocelot had spotted peered at them curiously, instead of getting on with work. So, either news had already gotten around, or the Wildcat’s independent emergence from the garage had been noted. Sunny tried to turn her attention inwards towards Ocelot's thoughts on the situation, there was a flash of white light and she was back, blinking, in her own body.

_Not without permission, Sunshine._

 

As the small group approached the Metal Gear and pilot, Sunny skirted around in front of the Wildcat and paced between its paws. The size of them made her heart race, but glancing over her shoulder at the grey look on Hal’s face, the twisted concern on Bran’s and the stony visage of Mr Robert Lewis, they offered as much comfort and protection as fear itself. The hanger supervisors had finally come over to see why all the personnel who should have been hard at work, were taking an early break and spending it leaning out of the hangar doors. Sunny squinted and could see them chatting amongst themselves and pointing as the new contractors were told what little the rest knew. There was quite a crowd there now. A clutter of drab mucky overalls of the technicians and engineers, the dark fleeces and pullovers of the supervisors and bay workers, and the crisp pale shirts and black trousers of the office workers. Bright red support workers stood out like bad acne. Sunny felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, rarely having been the focus of such rapt attention and wishing the situation was a happier one. She glanced upwards at the Wildcat’s armoured throat and jaw, but there was no way to tell if he was unsettled or not.

 

Ocelot had stood before large groups of people before, captive audiences, armies—sometimes even friendly ones—and was unfazed by their gazes, glazed, hostile or otherwise. Though he gazed back at them with mild curiosity, wondering what they thought of him. He rotated his shoulders and stood a little taller. He looked away from those staring curiously and proceeded to disregard them. His gaze fell on Bran. The Welshman was at the back of the group, but his eyes were fixed on the Wildcat, Bran's expression was unlike the others'. Hal Emmerich was unmistakable, and Ocelot almost felt nostalgic at the thick coiling hair that the man still wore, the glasses which were, as always, making a bid for freedom down his long straight nose and the white lab coat—not insulated against the Aleutian cold this time however. The grey hair was back, but the cane was new. His face was contorted into a familiar horror. To disregard him would be a mistake; Ocelot was well aware of the man’s status, and his years with Solid Snake had undoubtedly left their mark. He could see little of the quivering otaku left in the engineer’s eyes, though that might be the pixels that spotted his vision. The third man, Mr Lewis was a tall thin man, he would have been a little taller than Ocelot himself had been in life, but he was slighter. His complexion was the colour of weak eggshells, and his hair was like cheap milk chocolate. He wore a bi-coloured suit. A slim black phone was perched in his hand and twittered into his ear.  
“Yes sir, we’re approaching now. Miss Gurlukovich-Emmerich, the pilot, is there… No sir… No she’s not, she’s standing, but the machine does appear to be acting under its own volition… Yes sir… Yes sir… No sir. Of course, sir, haha, I will report back to you as soon as possible.” He didn't stop smiling tensely. Ocelot switched from directional to omnidirectional microphone as the slim phone was switched off then and pocketed. He looked up and the thin smile remained. Bran continued too look fixedly across at the Wildcat.

 

When Doctor Emmerich stopped just a bit farther ahead of him, Mr Lewis took another step to pass in front of the ageing engineer. Sunny glanced up at the smooth underside of the Wildcat's jaw; Ocelot decided he didn’t like Mr Lewis. The Wildcat suddenly straightened up, swinging its armoured forearms back and reseating them across its broad back. Sunny ducked until she was sure the danger had passed and craned her neck back to look up at the machine. Somehow it looked more confident like that, like a man standing relaxed with his hands clasped behind his back, restricted body language but superficially open and welcoming. The claws, the only weapon at Ocelot's disposal besides the Metal Gear's powerful bite, had just been sheathed.

We are not a threat.  
Sunny blinked.

Mr Lewis coughed to clear his throat; there was a clicking sound then the compressor in Ocelot’s chest sped up and roared for a bare few seconds, getting up to speed then quieting down. The engine was humming, loud enough to make the humans present raise their voices now, Sunny dipped her head to smile; a minute before he’d been running on battery and had been quiet as a mouse, but he didn't want his opposition to be comfortable.

 

“I’m sure you’re both aware of why I am here,” Mr Lewis said loudly, looking squarely at Sunny before looking up at the Metal Gear, almost as an afterthought. “It seems that this is an issue that I am required to clean up, though the solution seems simple and obvious to me.

“You are aware of who I am?”

_Yes. Tell him._

_Why can’t you tell him?_

_You._

“Yes, he knows.”

“I’m addressing him.”

“He won’t talk to you directly.”

“Oh?” Mr Lewis arched his thin, dark eyebrows and stared accusingly at Sunny, as if it was her fault that Ocelot was being contrary.

_Ocelot… Why?_

_I don’t want to._

_I can’t tell him that._

_Tell him my speakers weren’t designed for polite conversation and I don’t want the inflection of my words distorted by tones and volumes I can’t fully control._

Sunny hesitantly relayed this, Mr Lewis bought it.

“I’m very sorry.” He said in a way that made it clear that he really wasn’t. “That you have such limited vocal skills. Though I was under the impression you were quite, aha, verbal with Bran here?”

Bran nodded. "It was hard to understand sometimes, the speakers are in the cockpit."

"There's no others?"

"Well sure, but they're designed to be loudspeakers, not,” he gestured towards his throat. “Close range communication devices."

“We will have to look into improving your range.” Mr Lewis smiled sweetly and Sunny decided he had no such intention. “I’m sure your ‘threat’ to Bran was a simple misjudgement of how you would sound to a human being?”

Sunny rubbed her jaw, feeling Ocelot clench his.

_Of course._ He growled. _I had no idea I would come across in the way that I did, I assure you, it was only a case of the two of us not quite speaking the other’s language._ He paused to let Sunny say this. _I have no reason to cause harm to his person, and certainly did not intend any threat, I believe I only offered my services to the company._

 

Mr Lewis looked at Bran who nodded.

Mr Lewis smiled tightly to himself. “Can you tell me how this occurred?” Sunny looked confused so he elaborated: “How you woke up?”

Sunny sucked in a breath and looked upwards, expecting Ocelot to prompt her into telling her side of the story, but instead she heard him say: _  
I’m afraid I can’t give you a particularly good answer._ He paused. _The first I was aware of it I thought I was hallucinating, I suppose I was relieving my past life, or some such. Bit by bit I started to see this world in flashes._ Sunny helpfully gestured to the horizon with both hands. _One morning I think some of it…_ “…Went the other way.”  
Sunny felt herself frowning, and hoped it portrayed a shared bemusement between the Metal Gear and pilot and not, as it was in fact, just Sunny not knowing what he was talking about.

Mr Lewis asked the question she was unable to: “What do you mean?”

_She started to hear and see things that should have been locked within my systems, the program I should have been trapped within._

“Sunny, Bran mentioned you said it was your fault he woke up?”

“I feel it was, s-sir. When I started hearing things that could only be leaking memories, I… I should have told someone, I know, but I looked into it myself. It was a s-simple problem I thought I could have fixed it myself, I tried to, but I… I changed something that I wasn’t aware of, or there were ramifications I couldn’t foresee. He Resurrected.”

“I see…” He drawled, too quietly for Sunny to be able to hear if he said anything more, then with a neat cough he said with more volume: “What do you intend to do now?”

“Now…?” Sunny said, not sure who he was talking to, but he looked from one to the other and smiled. “Well, I intend to stay with him as long as possible, since he already knows me, and has history with my family.”

“Not good history if my limited knowledge is correct.”

“No, but one with a level of mutual r-respect.” She reminded herself that the knowledge of the Gurlukovich Mercenaries, and their end, was not wide spread and that he was most likely talking about Solid Snake.

“Ah a warrior first and foremost?” He looked up and with a touch of spite: "How honourable." The Wildcat rumbled in response, “And you, Ocelot?”

_That’s Revolver Ocelot to you, you slimy little—I would prefer to stay here, as I told Sunny once I’d come to understand my situation: I have nowhere else to go, no reason to go elsewhere. Here seems a choice position for me, if given leave to continue my role as, as you say, a warrior._

Mr Lewis pushed his thumbs into his pockets and clicked his tongue. “Do you really think that can happen?”

_I believe it would be in both our best interests._

“Why do you say that? BBR doesn’t want a dangerous traitor in its midst.”

_I was a traitor only to further my cause, a cause I saw through to the end._ Ocelot sounded bored. Sunny did her best to make his words plaintive. _If I remain here I have a highly capable pilot--at least in theory, she’s new to this I know that, but we’re both learning and it’s going well. The_ _infrastructure to support this new body is already here. If I leave I run the risk of destruction, by you or your enemies, or of running out of fuel and breaking down. I’d have to hope that any other pilot I found was as good as Sunny._

Sunny inadvertently found herself blushing as she relayed this, and felt Ocelot’s approval that it gave his story credence.

“You are not a combat ready model, even if we felt you could be trusted, we couldn’t send you out there. Isn’t that right Doctor?”

Hal pressed his lips together tightly but before he could answer Bran broke in: “Not entirely true, the Wildcat prototype was designed with combat tests in mind. Originally it would have been tested almost to destruction; to prove its limits, so faults can be corrected in the production line models. I believe Doctor West intended its final tests to include some form of firefight; obviously the experiments never went that far.

“The Wildcat could be modified to be fully combat worthy, I wouldn’t encourage it, and I certainly couldn’t approve of Sunny’s inclusion. I was originally supposed to be the Wildcat's pilot...”

“I see. And it's Sunny you want hmn? You think we’ll allow a young and frankly inexperienced girl to stay with you?”

“I-if you don’t mind me answering that, s-sir.” Sunny spoke up. “The imprint is s-stronger between him and I than with others with their Metal Gear at the same stage in their-their training, with the more constant connection and the fact that we can r-reciprocate, that is… He’s not just receiving muscular impulses relating to his controls, the nanomachines are also s-sending information from my vocal-cords, and manipulate the bones in my ears, allowing non-v-verbal communication between us, even when I’m not s-sp-speaking aloud. I-if you introduced a new pilot now he’d have to relearn all of that and, well, it-it wasn’t comfortable to-to-to-to start with. You s-see, I already knew s-so much about him. I don’t know if… if he’d be willing to take on s-someone else.”

_I wouldn’t._

“He says he wouldn’t.”

_Having you know my secrets is bad enough. Don’t repeat that!_

 

“They’re a matching set, Doctor Emmerich!” Mr Lewis glanced over at him. Hal hadn't said anything since they'd arrived but no doubt he'd made his comments previously. “Obviously, Ocelot, you know why we can’t trust you?”

_I know._

“He knows.”

“So you understand why I am reticent about allowing this, I certainly can’t make a decision alone.”

_What does he mean, ‘allowing this’?_

“Mr Lewis, what do you mean by ‘allowing this’?”

“Allowing him to remain alive and kicking, for any period of time. Of course, whatever happens, the machine doesn’t have to be destroyed, just the mind and time already invested. A standard AI can be installed, Bran can take over as the pilot, as he should have been in the first place. Bran is insistent that the AI be preserved for study, Doctor Emmerich would like to see it erased immediately… So, Sunny, can you tell me why the system imprinted on you?”

“Huh? Oh… I-I believe it was s-simply luck. I was thinking about S-solid Snake, I think the system was hyper s-sensitive to the name. That’s all.”

“Is that possible, Doctor? It’s not possible he was already conscious?”

“Similar has happened in the past, but I don’t believe he was already conscious, no.” Sunny glanced up at her uncle, but couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I will get back to you as soon as I can.” Mr Lewis nodded and turned on his well-polished heel and strode away. Bran was hot on his heels trying to talk with him. Hal remained standing before them. With the site manager retreating the Wildcat’s engine wound down and eventually went quiet.

“Uncle—”

“I need to talk to you, Sunny. In private.”

“Yes Uncle.” She looked up. “I’ll come back, wait in the garage out of sight? Please?”

The Wildcat inclined its head then carefully turned around and vanished into the gloom.

 

"I'll admit, that was impressive. Were those all his words?"

"More or less." She muttered. "Look... I know what you’re going to say. D-don’t.”

“Huh?”

“I know who he is, and I know how dangerous he is, Uncle I know. I do.”

They hadn’t been able to go far, Hal didn’t feel that it was good idea to venture too far away from the garage, least Mr Lewis return and they needed to be present. So they went around the side to the empty smoking hut and sat on the bench there as the clouds rolled in.

 

Hal sighed. “I’m just worried that you’re only protecting him because you blame yourself, it’s not your fault, Doctor West was overconfident and didn’t build the computers well enough.”

“It's not just that. What’s happened to West? I thought he'd be here.”

“He was sent on indefinite leave, until further notice, and he’s to talk to no one about this. He’ll lose his job if he talks.”

“Sounds like he’s already lost his job…”

“Not quite yet, but probably, if it gets out… Listen, I don’t want you working with him, if they… allow the system to remain in its current state.”

“But—!”

“No. If the company is stupid enough to let him survive then they can send another pilot into that honey trap.”

“I don’t think that’s the term you’re looking for."

“It doesn’t matter!" She flinched. "I’ve watched him do this to so many people, talks them into believing he's on their side then stabs them in the back. When Solidus took him and your mother in they had nowhere else so go, it was practically the same situation we have now, he depended on Solidus for everything, and he still couldn’t be trusted.”

"That's not true—"

“And look what happened to Olga.”

“I know!” She croaked, tears welling up in her eyes. "You're not listening to me!"

"Sunny, you haven't been talking about any of this." He worked his mouth silently for a moment as she stood up. "Sunny..."

"I need to be alone."

"Sunny wait, I didn't mean to..." He stared after her as she hurried away, but didn't try to follow.

 

_Come here._

“No, l-leave me al-alone, I don’t w-want to see a-an-anyone. G-go away!”

_You're a mess... Come and talk to me, I'll listen._


	11. Survival

“ _We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun_.”

—

William Glasser

 

 

_In the Soviet army it takes more courage to retreat than advance._

Sunny looked up from the sink and stared at the mirror.

“Stalin?” she asked her reflection hesitantly.

_Ah she has had an education._

“I think you’ve said it before.”

… _No._

“Or maybe I saw the time when you heard it.”

_Possible._

“What’s your point?”

_My point is that people are terribly misguided. There is nothing wrong with retreat, running away on the other hand…_

“There’s a difference?”

_Of course, one is leaving; the other is leaving with the intention of making further plans and returning._

The toilet at the end flushed and the woman who stepped out retained a perfect poker face as she washed her hands and hurried out, Sunny raised her eyebrows in the mirror.  
“Are you trying to make me look crazy?”

_I don’t have to try very hard._

_Fine I’ll just talk like this—_ “I can’t I just feel like I’m having a s-staring contest with my reflection!”

_Sunny, pay attention._

“S-sorry, trying not to think…”

_That’s not something we can afford right now. I need to know what you’re going to do._

“D-do?”

_Are you running away? Or retreating? I’d rather the latter; I want to make a formal agreement with you, a partnership. I’ll be damned if I’m going through all that mess again with someone else, a..._

“Ah? What’s ‘ah’?”

_I could count the number of people who’ve treated me like you do on one… Paw._

“Three?” There was a pause and she was pretty sure he was counting. “Is that good or bad?” She interrupted.

_Depends on your point of view… Good. I’d rather keep you around. Don’t run away from me, Sunny._

“I’m not running away…”

_Good we can’t both be good at that._

“You run away?”

_Well I retreat…_

“So there is no difference?”

_There’s a difference!_

"You do one and someone else does the other?"

_Exactly._

She chuckled. “So what’s this agreement then?”

_Let’s stick together, Sunshine, you and I, partners. I’ll agree to obey you and through you the company, so long as you don’t give up your position as my pilot. I’ll protect you, if you protect me._

“Sounds fair…” she frowned, “But I’m adding something to that.”

_Hmn?_

“You tell me everything, no secrets! No great plans, no schemes, nothing like that is to be kept from me okay?”

_Hmn…_

“Because I will stay with you, but I keep thinking about the people you’ve left behind, I don’t want to end up like that. I don’t need to be left behind, as long as I’m willing to help and you’re willing to talk.”

_Huh. And when I talk and you’re not willing to help?_

“Then I don’t say anything, everyone expects you to be secretive. I say you never mentioned anything about whatever it is you’re up to—they’ll believe me.”

_You’d be willing to do that?_ He sounded surprised. _And how am I supposed to believe you’ll keep that promise?_

“We’re just going to have to trust each other, aren’t we?”

_To be untrustworthy?_

“Yes.”

… _I think you might be on to something. I’m sure there’s a flaw in your plan somewhere—_

“But there’s no guarantee any of this will happen. Or if I’ll even be allowed to stay on with the company.”

_It’s not like you’re playing an important role in this affair._ He sneered.

“Maybe it’ll only be temporary suspension. Heh… They’ll probably shut you down too.”

_Ugh._

“Sorry. You’re lucky though, the way I’m starting to see it, you were built to be put through tests and this is one hell of a test of your system."

_It's certainly testing something..._

“I think you’ll be okay, this might still work to their advantage, and I do have a plan believe it or n… Are you even listening?”

_The weasel is back._

“Who?”

_He’s… We have a decision. Get back here now! No running away._

“No running away…” She nodded.

 

It was the height of lunch time, but she wasn’t even slightly hungry. The apron was deserted. Only the quiescent GEKKO by the gates and the shadowy figures under the corrugated plastic roof of the smoking shed between the hangers, torn between another cigarette or sandwiches, betrayed the base as having occupants at all. All others had fled into town, to home, to the refectories. Sunny ran around the corner, under the belly of a giant machine, she couldn’t have even told you what it was, skirted around a bowser and a small puddle of spilt fuel that was evaporating slowly in the cool air. There they were: the Wildcat turned its head to look at her, Ocelot’s nerves were prickling at the back of her mind. Sunny rubbed her arms as she slowed to a walk and approached, the air was getting chillier, the wind seemed to be picking up, that bad weather was coming in still. Looking over at the Metal Gear made the air seem still: only the slow oscillation put into its whiskers and tip of its tail gave away the breeze. It would take a storm to move it. She hunched her shoulders and braced herself.

 

Mr Lewis didn’t turn to look at her, in response she walked around him and stood under the Wildcat's chin. She felt it stoop until the cool surface of its jaw was within touching distance—she felt more comfortable with the machine than the tall man opposite her.

“Sunny,” he greeted her with a stagnant smile. “I was just explaining why he cannot be allowed to remain here, but it is, haha, rather like talking to a brick wall.”

_He means they’re shutting me down, permanently, not allowed to remain indeed..._ Sunny winced. _It’s in my best interests apparently!_

“To hear him tell it, sounds more like you’re putting down a sick dog.”

Mr Lewis’ lips tightened. “Now be fair, that’s not what I’m saying at all. We both know there is nothing… Physically wrong with him—”

_At least I’ve always been able to say that._

“—But the fact of the matter is, his existence is a danger to us, to yourself and to him.”

“How is he a danger to himself?”

_I survived this long because I’m painfully inept at self-destruction, didn’t you know?_

Sunny frowned. “Sorry, can you repeat that, sir?”

Mr Lewis nodded. “Not directly you understand but, going forward, as word of this gets out, and it will, there will be a great number of people who resent his continued ah… presence.”

“You’re expecting someone to get in here and do damage to him? We can keep out Metal Gear but not angry civilians?”

He smirked. “You of all people know how dangerous an angry individual can be. No I’m not worried about that, but the company could come under threat, and,” he looked upwards and tried and failed to meet the Wildcat’s eyes. “And there is the question as to whether or not he should be answerable to his past life’s wrong doings.”

“You’re expecting a law suit?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time that, many years after the event, a man was made to face his crimes, even war crimes.”

“I would argue that the man who did those crimes is dead, and that this Wildcat is merely the conglomeration of his memories, resulting in an AI with a number of the original’s attitudes and preferences, but not the same person who committed those crimes.”

She could feel Ocelot's attention boring into her. Mr Lewis’ eyebrows made a wilful attempt to join with his hair line. “Not the same thing?”

“15 years ago the original, the real, Revolver Ocelot used hypnotic suggestion and nanomachine therapy to trick the world into believing he was possessed by, and had become, Liquid Snake.”

“Yes…”

“But did that really make him Liquid?”

“Well—”

“He had his memories, his attitudes, but even to those who believed the ruse, there was still a reluctance to accept it. The name he got for himself shows that.”

“Liquid Ocelot?”

“Exactly; he was Liquid in every way except for his body and yet no one really believes he was in all ways, Liquid. He couldn't make it a perfect transformation."

Mr Lewis smiled tightly. “One of his many failures. You simply can’t change one person fully into another, that should have been obvious.”  
Sunny’s eyebrows arched. “So you admit that there is no way that inducing the likeness of one mind into a body of another can result in the exact likeness of the original mind?” Mr Lewis blinked. “The Wildcat is Ocelot in all ways but for his body, are you expecting me, or anyone else, to believe he is, in all ways, Ocelot? It does not experience the world as the original human Ocelot did, it can't even experience the world as a human does. The machine cannot wilfully act in a certain way, it cannot pretend to be Ocelot as Ocelot once pretended to be Liquid.”

 

Ocelot was laughing to himself in surprise and at the growing lividity in Mr Lewis’ cheeks; Sunny hoped he’d leave soon or she was going to have to start grinning at Ocelot's quiet giggle and it was going to ruin her case.

 

Mr Lewis’ temper was obviously running short, he had little interest in playing this game.  
“As compelling as your argument is,” he said, plain that he didn’t buy into it for a moment. “We do not have the luxury of a philosophical discussion. The decision has, unfortunately, already been made and preparations are already underway. Indeed we’ve been waiting—I wanted you to be here, I thought you might wish to say goodbye…?”

His exact words were: ‘ _the young girl seems to have gotten herself emotionally invested.' I thought it was rather patronizing myself._

Sunny's normally warm eyes turned cold. _You’re not the only one…_

_I don’t wish to make a fuss, but they have me pinned, they’ve put in the codes to the system and one press of a button and I’m dead, it’s all remote, if you have a way out of this, I’d be grateful for your assistance._

 

Sunny looked around for a burst of inspiration, Mr Lewis was tapping his mobile phone into his palm, waiting to give the signal. There were a few people trickling back from their lunches, the mechanics were back first, having broken off sooner. They were walking slower to keep one eye on the drama. She wanted her uncle here; maybe Hal would know what to say to stop this, because she certainly didn't. She looked up at the Wildcat, bigger than a house, strong enough to flip a tank like a pancake and suddenly very vulnerable. She'd promised she'd help him, and she couldn't even keep him alive another day? She hung her head in defeat, hating the voice in the back of her mind telling her that maybe this would be a relief in the end.

 

Mr Lewis shrugged to himself and raised his phone.

“Yes,” he said into it. “Are you ready? Good. Then—” The Wildcat’s head rose with a whine, and everyone froze as it reared and stumbled backwards a step.  
“No!" His voice crackled unpleasantly over the speakers, loud enough to be heard from across the apron. "I'm not ready to die! I don't want to die!” Mr Lewis froze and looked up at the Metal Gear in shock. Sunny cowered away as if the Metal Gear in its panic might strike her. The onlookers muttered amongst themselves. The Wildcat ducked its head down submissively and continued to back up against the garage, apparently in fear. Sunny gave Mr Lewis a desperate look but, unsure of how long she could hold it, soon turned away and covered her face in her hands as if she was trying to not cry.

Mr Lewis’ expression could have curdled milk.

“You can’t!” She begged, as a few came closer to find out what the cause of the distress was. “You’d murder him because he’s i-inconvenient? And you call him a monster? He c-c-could kill you with one claw, b-but look at him!”

Mr Lewis’ eyes swept over the audience and the terrified AI.

“Sunny,” he said slowly. “You’ve raised a number of important points that did not occur to us in our discussion of the Wildcat’s fate. I will take these points back to the table and we shall reconsider.”

“T-thank you,” she sniffed, rubbing at her eyes. “I hope you’ll r-realize that he isn’t to blame for this s-situation and doesn’t deserve to be treated as a-a m-monster.”

 

_Wow_. Said Ocelot flatly as Mr Lewis strode off, bristling. _That was… convincing, I'm impressed._

_You started it. I think we both just flushed our reputations down the drain._

_My reputation has been at rock bottom since the 70s._ He shrugged. _But I don't think that particular plan will work more than once._

Sunny looked around at the others torn between going back to work and hanging around. Now the danger was past, Sunny was starting to feel shaky. Ocelot left her to it, as a couple of men asked if there was anything they could help with and Sunny explained what had been going on. When they left she was confident the story, in some form, would soon be well known throughout the hangers by tomorrow morning. In the aftermath her stutter was natural, her tight voice legitimate, it gave some welcome credence to her story.

Sunny looked up once they were left alone. N _ow it really will be getting out there; front page news here we come._

The Wildcat sat down with a sigh of released pressure. _It was inevitable, even if I wasn't myself, this is a pretty big development._

They took up the garage doorway, the Wildcat on its haunches, Sunny perched on the rubbery boot protecting its ankle.  
“I suspect I’m going to be sent home.”

_Why?_

“After what I just pulled; they’ll want me out of the way.”

_Nice work by the way. Using your feminine wiles._ He chuckled.

“That wasn’t feminine wiles, that was plaintive sobbing, anyone can do that.”

_Anyone can do it, but I’d like to see a man get away with it._

“You did pretty well yourself! And it used to work for Hal, but only on Snake I think.”

_Heheh…_

 

_Hey... Sunny?_

“Yeah?”

_What you said before... Do you really think I’m not… Me?_

“I haven’t got a clue who or what you are. You could be identical to the real, the original, er… The pre-death Ocelot in all ways but physique but I wouldn’t know, I didn’t know you. Uncle Hal might be able to give more of an insight, if he gets the chance to talk to you.”

_Unlikely, I suspect very few people still exist who could tell me who I am—if any. But I feel like me._

“What does that feel like?”

_Like I have no idea who I am._

She looked up. “At all?”

Regret seeped from the AI. _I spent most of my life trying to be someone else, and when I started to find out what I was, I wasn't allowed to be it._

“No wonder you don’t know yourself.”

The Wildcat's thick arms swung around and it inspected its claws. _Maybe that's why I_ _can_ _deal with this, might not be all bad._

 

Sunny was correct, and Hal appeared to take her home. She’d been told what the Wildcat’s fate would be settled in the morning and until then he was to be put back into the garage, put into manual (just in case) and shut down. Ocelot had stood up impertinently, swivelled around and stalked back into his bay. Sunny cringing along in his wake and apologizing to him for the upcoming headache.

 

“I have to go back to work.”

“I know.”

“Sunny?”

“Mn?”

“Please look at me?”

“Hmn?” she said louder, looking up.

He looked angry and his voice was strained when he spoke. A parent fighting to remain calm with a child that had scared him half to death. Sunny bristled.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

"..."

"Please Sunny, I'm so scared he's done something to you..."

"He hasn't."

"Then..."

"I don't want... I can't explain it, not yet, I don't know how to put it into words." She stared at her hands, folded on the kitchen table and hoped he'd get the hint and leave. He didn't. Sunny sighed deeply. "He hasn't done anything to hurt me, I just like talking to him, and I think I can learn a lot from him. Besides... I don't know if I can condemn him for anything he's done, I'm not sure I have that right."

"Sunny..."

"I need to understand more first, and I can't do that if he's dead." She looked up at him sadly. "And anyway, I just can't wish death on someone, if I'd handed him over straight away? I might as well have killed him my self. I... I don't want to be that kind of person."

“And you're not but... But Ocelot he's...”

“We can talk later, you go back to work.”

“Sunny—"

"I'm tired."

"...Okay. Get some rest.”

 

Sunny sat quietly until she heard the car pull away. Checked the door was locked and fled upstairs to her room. She groped about wildly for any sign of the Wildcat's transmissions, but it wasn't there. She wriggled under the covers without untucking them and hid there. The pressure comforting. She thought she'd end up lying there until Hal came home and forced her to talk more, but after only a few minutes she’d fallen asleep, exhausted from just surviving through the day.


	12. Limited Vision

“ _Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards._ ”

\--

Søren Kierkegaard

 

“But why?” Sunny stared hollowly at a spot on the wall, trying to imagine the scene.

_It just made sense at the time, whistles are so obvious and everyone does bird noises. We were the Ocelot unit, you expected us to chirrup?_

“I suppose that’s fair enough but I can’t imagine it was very… Impressive?”

_Big Boss once said I sounded like a hungry kitten._ He said flatly.

Sunny laughed, “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to—”

_Don’t even ask—anyway…_

 

Sunny fumbled with her pen

 

… _we mistook him for The Boss. No one had told us what to expect, only that this legendary soldier would be there and..._ Ocelot hesitated. _Well he... Felt right._

"Felt right...?"

He was clearly avoiding something when he replied: _He was so confident, he fit what you'd expect someone called 'The Boss' to look like. Anyway. He didn’t reply when challenged, unless you include narrowing of those eyes of his as a reply._

“Those eyes?” She teased.

_No others like them, none of his son’s inherited them exactly… So ah, I deduced that he was in fact, not The Boss. Besides, he seemed far too high-strung to be the warrior we were expecting._

_We didn’t know his name then, he had no name to speak off, not in the way he would later, he had nothing but his own two hands, a hunting knife and a tranquillizer gun: Hushpuppy._

Sunny could feel him reading the abbreviated story she hurriedly scribbled down.

_Sokolov took off into the trees screaming, but it was decided he could wait, he wasn’t going to go far and the American soldier seemed like more of a threat. We judged correctly: there were nine in our unit, but this single soldier dispatched us all—although he didn’t kill a single one of us. He got the upper hand when... When I misjudged trying out a new manner of reloading my gun. Makarov._

_The fight was embarrassingly short, and I was the only one left conscious by the end of it. Damn American Dog._ He chuckled. _He was ruthless, not content to just berate me for showing off using a new and untried technique; he also lectured me! On my choice of weaponry, telling me that a revolver would be more suitable._

 

“So. Did you listen to him straight away?”

_Oh yes, although it took me a few tries to get it right._

“How did you get it wrong? I’d have thought telling you to use a revolver was pretty obvious.”

_You’d think so. The next time we met, yes I had a revolver, but Snake didn’t approve of its engravings—a shame really, I was rather partial to them myself, but Snake had a point. The time after that: two unadorned Colts, Single Action Army…_ The fondness in his voice was apparent. _I challenged Snake to a duel, but he still won. Huh, though I think the outcome would have been very different if there hadn’t been hornet nests in the trees. The time before that would have been different too._ He sniffed. _If that bloody woman hadn’t driven up my face._

Sunny sat back. “Okay. Hornet nests?”  
_He dropped them on my head._  
“And… she… drove up your face?”

_You heard me, I’m not repeating it._

“But how did she…?”

_It really doesn’t matter._

 

Sunny shook her head and made a note in her writing pad to question him further on this point at a later date. “So what happened after he lectured you?”

_I passed out, woke up a little while later with a headache and one intact unit. Honestly I had something of a temper then, I hated owing the American my life, and hated knowing he was right about the weapons, and the vanity. Uoh…_

“What is it?”

He grumbled unintelligibly then the link was cut off.  


Sunny rubbed her temples and sighed. The Wildcat had been in the hangars for nearly two weeks now, no one had given her a complete explanation as to what was being done to him, and Ocelot was clueless, he was never awake long enough to complete a system scan to find out either. All either of them knew was that there’d been some kind of delay in his progress thanks to renewed conflict to the south east—a damaged war machine brought in days ago had drawn attention from the prototype. So they'd been entertaining themselves with their project; Ocelot had finally decided on some things he was willing to share.

 

\---

 

The first couple of days had been the worst. The morning after he’d just barely gotten away with his life, Sunny had only been required to come into work long enough to help move him into the hangars. The only others capable of piloting the Wildcat, even over such a short distance, were reticent about approaching it in such a manner. Even those more intrigued than afraid were making private bets on how long the MB-AI would last before it underwent a breakdown. Sunny had left the machine in manual and in the hands of the maintenance crew, the next thing she knew the nanomachines had stopped registering him at all. No great surprise there, he wasn’t needed online, but it had been disturbing at the time. She’d walked home and had barely gotten back when she started to wish she’d never left the base. The Wildcat had been woken up, and he was angry and verging on panic. Those in the hangars didn’t know a thing but Sunny had her hands full talking him down. No one had thought to talk to him, or warn him. With circuit breakers open he couldn’t move, see or hear. He was locked in, aware of nothing outside of his own numb self; Sunny was forced to be his only sensory input. It wasn’t until the next day that she thought to take advantage of his captive state and get him to tell her lengthy stories about the past. How much of it was true she couldn’t be sure, however Ocelot had periods of self-deprecation which seemed to coincide with more plausible stories, she suspected that those that catered so nicely to his ego were blown out of proportion at the least, totally fabricated at the worst.

 

Hal didn’t like her skulking around, muttering and laughing at Ocelot. When it came to the AI Hal was as deaf and blind as Ocelot was in the hangar. It concerned him not being able to keep track of the two. He asked Sunny to at least go out that weekend with someone tangible that he knew as well. She was reluctant, having made so much headway, but agreed that maybe it would be good for her to get out. As luck would have it the shift on Saturday weren’t interested in having the Wildcat online, so he was quite quiet when Sunny awoke, and didn’t make a peep all day.

The day seemed to drag on.

Sunny was glad to meet up with two of her friends, and they should have had a good day, but she found herself unable to engage with them and was reluctant to talk, words often catching in her throat. She saw what she was doing and felt bad, but what could she say? They chatted about their love lives and their families, one was getting a new car; the other was considering a cat. She told them she was working as the pilot for a prototype Metal Gear, but claimed she wasn’t able to talk much about it: industrial secrets. Not entirely untrue. She grumbled and sighed dramatically while the oldest of her two friends, who she’d met the same day they’d arrived here, tried to set her up with some guy she knew. Sunny tried to make it clear she wasn't interested. Other people during her teenage years had made dating seem very important, even Hal, but while all her peers had been gushing over their latest squeeze, it hadn’t really happened for her. Dates seemed like things that would get in the way of what she was actually interested in. She'd had a few relationships, none had lasted long. She’d been more interested in rebuilding the Mark VI for the umpteenth time, helping down the road at the garage, and looking to her future with the towering machines that aided the military. She didn’t want to stay working on that side of things forever, but one way or another it was robotics, engineering and science that she'd invested her feelings in. From that point of view, she thought while staring out of the café window, her current interest in Ocelot wasn’t all that strange. She’d probably have found him a lot less endearing as a human man.  
Endearing, she snorted.  
“Sunny?” and snapped out of her thoughts.

“Y-yes?”

“Oh good! I’ll tell him to pick you up tonight then!”

“Huh?”

 

“Ugh…” Sunny sank down on her bed.

A muffled unhappy voice mumbled: _Nnghh…_

“You sound awful.”

_I feel awful. What’s wrong with you?_

“My friends.”

_Unf._

“Yeah.” The laptop blipped and Sunny lifted her head from the pillow, her first and best friend was trying to talk to her, she wasn't really up for it but... “Well this one is okay.” She wobbled off the bed and collapsed into the computer chair. Ocelot was allowed to watch while she related the story of her accidental date to the young man hundreds of miles away. Watch and complain about it. Her friend sympathized and told her to just enjoy the evening; she could always claim work was getting too much for her at the moment to spend time going out. She agreed but said she still was dreading the upcoming ordeal, though she was amused to find that an 'old friend of the family' who was in the area was totally against the date: He was complaining about how anyone could be expected to be interested in someone who called themselves ‘Rich’, and he was sure be some stuck up brat with more confidence than sense. He would, in fact, be like most young men of a certain age and having been one once, he took the standpoint that the bloke was going to be insufferable. Sunny was wished good luck in all departments by her friend, Ocelot just told her to 'wait and see' about his predictions.

 

Day shift went, and night shift came in. The Wildcat was given the gift of sight for camera tests, and Ocelot was surprised to find the two mounted on his head were not the only ones in his possession. Knowing now where the cameras were, he watched the fitters wandering back and forth, and kept a close eye on their work, though he was unable to interrupt when displeased. Maybe he’d bring that up with someone. He’d be damned if anyone was going to do shoddy work on his chassis. No one remembered to switch off the cameras, or maybe they were entertained by their audience, but the result was the same. One of his design crew came over for a while, and Ocelot saw him pointing at the cameras, but he eventually shrugged, laughed and walked off. Sunny wasn’t replying to him, no surprise there, but it wasn’t putting him a good mood.

 

\---

 

Itch.

A shiver ran up his spine and the prickling built up the back of his head, the urge to scratch rose within him but he couldn’t move his paws to reach. Nausea, or what passed for it supplied by his reluctantly adapting sense of humanity, made the sluggish time pass ever slower. The horrible sensation of being closely watched by an unseen entity clung to that itch. He wanted to take to his heels and get away from it—or at least turn to look, but neither was possible. Liquid? He wondered, but no mocking voice answered him. He was alone.  
_Sunny would have picked up on a foreign set of memories; he was never a part of me, he’s gone._ Ocelot reassured himself.

 

He lost his sight again soon after when the day shift came back and went to continue the sensory tests. His hearing came back long enough for him to overhear that a new piece of software had been installed, and probably coincided with the haunting feeling from before, but he couldn’t find any access to it, he wasn’t welcome there.  
_Monitoring softwar_ _e._ He huffed to himself.  
Good did come out of the whole ordeal however, he distinctly heard Mr Lewis’ voice talking about how the project was to continue as before, or as closely as possible, that Sunny was to go out with a scouting party as soon as the Wildcat was back in service to start on the next line of tests due to the machine.

Action! If he’d believed in a god he’d have thanked them.

 

\---

 

_How’d it go?_ He asked when he felt Sunny's presence return.

_Better than I expected._ Sunny kissed Hal goodnight as he nodded over his computer. _I might be seeing him next weekend._

Hmn.

_Hmn…?_ She paused on her way up the stairs.

_Eva once said I wasn’t allowed to voice my opinion on these matters to her. Does that apply to you too?_

Sunny smiled. _I think that would be for the best._

_Well at least one of us it getting on with life... Anyway, I have news._ Sunny paused to gaze at the photos of David and her mother as she waited for him to continue. _They’re testing us._

"...What do you mean?" She whispered.

_Sending us out with a party._ A mental shrug. _I can’t imagine anything much will happen, but I wouldn’t mind seeing more than the inside of the hangar doors for five minutes._

"Don’t say that."

_What?_

"That nothing will happen."

_You’re superstitious?_

"Not really, but if I didn’t know better I’d believe in your bad luck."

_Humph. I fare better than Doctor Emmerich._

"You know about that?"

_Heard a bit, knew his father._

"You did!?"

_Full of surprises aren’t I?_

"I just keep forgetting how old you are."

_Nice recovery._ He snarled.  


Sunny double checked the mirror on the inside of her wardrobe to make sure it was averted before she started to get undressed.  
"I’ll be back on Monday." She assured. "Uncle Hal said so, so we’ll get the full story then I suppose?"

_I’m sure they’ll drop a ton on your plate._

She pulled an oversized t-shirt over her head. "Why do you say that?"

_I’m not the only one being tested, Sunshine. I’ll be going now... Good night._

"You too."

 

\---

 

Sunny crossed her arms and smiled up at Hal as the hangar doors beeped open. The gantries were still being moved out the way and one engineer was clinging to the top of one even as it was trundled backwards. He waved at Sunny and she waved back, though she wasn’t sure who he was or why he waved. Then the Wildcat wriggled its hips experimentally and strode forwards. It appeared to be unmanned. Mr Lewis was complaining at someone, but it was obviously a time saving exercise not having to mess around with a temporary pilot. The hangar crew was taking advantage of his independence. Good, Sunny thought, let’s make this a normal sight shall we?  


“So that’s why they had you so long!” Sunny called up, “Nice paint work, it’s about time.”

He pushed out his chest and turned to show off his new shades of grey camouflage, subtly iridescent, just enough to reflect a hint of his surroundings.

Hal nodded. “Had the cameras changed as well.” He was right, the cameras mounted on the sides of the Wildcat's head were gone, replaced finally with insets.

_Harder to see._

Sunny frowned. “He says it’s not so easy to see things now.”

“They were more vulnerable before, now he’s less likely to lose them or get them damaged.”

“I guess. I’ll see if I can think of a way to fix the field problem.” She broke away from Hal's side and Ocelot stooped, she met him half way and smoothed the pads of her thumbs over the fresh paint on his jaws. It would suffer soonest. The explosion that had left the Wildcat with a damaged (now fixed) paw had also left scratches in its jaw. Few of the REX had intact coats; their heads in particular were often bald metal, giving them a vulturous appearance. For now however the Wildcat looked very smart; though the overcast sky continued to threaten them with dusty dirtying rain—it hadn’t cleared for long the entire time he was under cover.  


“Going to do a twirl for me?” She laughed when the Wildcat stood up straight and swivelled about surprisingly delicately on its narrow feet, the tip of its tail travelling so fast it whistled. She saw Hal shaking his head at her. Felt that Ocelot was relieved to be out in the open.

“Very handsome.”

_It won't last._

“We have a briefing coming up by the way: The first official meeting where the Metal Gear attends too,” she tapped her ear and the Wildcat’s head bobbed in agreement. “Are you sitting in, Uncle?”

“I am. Come on, or we’ll be late.” He held his hand up at the machine. “Try and keep out of the way until we get back.” His command came out as a squeak, but despite Ocelot’s harsh laughter he did step aside of the RAY waiting to be marshalled into the bay just vacated.

_He’s trying._ Sunny shot at him as she followed Hal.

_To do what, exactly? I've had my first impressions of him, and they weren’t good._

_He’s changed since then._

_I’m sure. He has a limp now._

Seeing Sunny’s eyes narrow Hal nudged her hand. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing.” _At least Solid Snake kept him close! That’s more than Big Boss did for you._

_Careful, girl…_

Sunny kept the rest of her thoughts to herself.  



	13. Witness

  
" _It does me no good; violence has changed me._

_My body has grown cold like the stripped fields;_

_now there is only my mind, cautious and wary,_

_with the sense it is being tested._ "

\--

Louise Glück, from “October,” Averno: Poems

 

 

August, 1964

 

Frigid sleet burned as it pounded onto his raw, upturned, face. He squinted and ground his teeth to distract him from the tension in his gut. Behind him Groznyj Grad glistened against the mountain, half frozen water shading the concrete a darker shade of grey. It was mild now, it wouldn't last, soon the rain would freeze, leaving the complex icy and treacherous. The mountain was shrouded in clouds, up there in the veiled peaks the rain fell as fresh snow. Down in the valley the unpleasant weather was in the form of a downpour and yet, spearing through the clouds were shafts of light and the afternoon might very well be quite pleasant before the bitter night closed in.

 

Out there somewhere the American soldier was recovering from his injury, from the... Accident.

 

He would be fine. Just fine. He would be back.

 

Ocelot closed his eyes and clenched his fist around the bullet that hung around his neck. Huffing to himself he shivered violently and pressed onwards. His devoted shadows spreading out through the trees around him, their glittering eyes scouring the forest for their prey.

 

The distant sound of a motorbike, muffled by the mist and rain, rumbled through the trees in the valley below. For a fraction of a second light glinted off a mirror. The soldiers drifted away as their major snarled blindly into the forest. Leaning into the steep slope that the path wound down in zigzagging increments, indifferent to the wet crumbling ground, he thought of nothing beyond her. Her! The unknown factor. The spy that used the role that should have been his to get close to the American. She would get to him first! It wasn't fair! Why was nothing going right?

 

While looking for her vehicle among the greenery he spotted a split second flash of a fast moving shape and he took aim for the sake of doing something. She was too far away of course. He hissed and backed away from the edge.  
“I’ll get you,” he spat and under his bitter breath he added to himself. “Then you’ll see the mistake you made getting involved where you don't belong.”

 

\---

 

Present Day  


Ocelot shook himself out of his thoughts, the rain hadn’t stopped and it streaked the world in washed out greys and muddy browns. On the road beside him three trucks rumbled along. He was wandering closer to them than he’d like, but they were still out from under his feet and he left it up to Sunny to keep an eye on the situation. Ahead of him the lanky Jackal swayed along leaving huge three toed footprints. Ocelot had stared at the regular footprints filling up with water until he’d been all but hypnotized, occasionally looking back to see his own almost circular prints—shiny dishes of muddy water.

 

How long had it been raining?

4 hours, 23 minutes.

24 minutes.

The cockpit was silent, Sunny’s eyelids were drooping as she watched the rain streaking down the windscreen in rivulets, the wilful union of three particularly large drops of water elicited a yawn from her. The Jackal’s head weaved back and forth like a somnambulist sightlessly looking for something within the dream-scape. The movement was deceptive, the team leader was probably the only one fully alert, and was the first to act when a sound cut through the gloom.

 

The Jackal straightened up and slowed down. Scanning the countryside. Ocelot started to listen as well, dropping down low to the ground but still moving. The sudden drop in altitude woke Sunny up and she looked around in bemusement, trying to understand the sound coming in over the speakers. A dark shape dipped under the clouds and she understood. The Jackal dropped so quickly Sunny figured all the pressure in its legs must have been released all at once and wondered if that had been unpleasant for the pilot. Then the bullets ripped through the air and into the ground instead of the Metal Gear. She wrenched the controls sideways and the Wildcat responded instantly, leaping over the trucks and onto the other side of the road.

 

“Targeting system, online!” She yelped and the heads up display lit up with information surrounding three concentric squares indicating the presence of the opponent. The systems read her gaze and she held it on the helicopter long enough for it to lock on.

_Got it..._ Ocelot purred in expectation of the helicopter’s imminent fate.

 

The radio crackled: "Hold fire!"

 

The aircraft was coming around for another go and the Jackal was readying its missiles, but the enemy was quicker. There were already twin streaks of smoke leaving the helicopter, even from here Sunny could see they were aimed for the Jackal’s legs—all Metal Gear shared this weak point by their very nature—the Jackal tried to jump sideways but the missiles followed and it stumbled backwards, retaliating as it went, but too soon. Thrown off course the helicopter only had to swing sideways to evade.

Ocelot sounded exasperated: _Why won’t he let us do our job?  
_ But Sunny shook her head, “W-we’re under orders to hold back and ob-observe unless ordered or required…”

Ocelot made a noise of disgust.

The aircraft was swivelling around towards them, no, the trucks were the goal. Sunny clenched her teeth. The helicopter didn’t have to survive long. It just had to be here long enough to take out the trucks and escape the Metal Gear, but they were quick enough to take it down!

"I think we're required."

 

They were striding forwards before she knew what had gotten into her, cutting in front of the vehicles and facing down the approaching aircraft.  
_Still locked on,_ Ocelot reminded her. She grinned, slightly hysterically; no other machine would have had the sense to keep one eye on the enemy when its pilot had held back. The Jackal’s missed shot proved that. Her thumb found the red switch on the left, the body of the Metal Gear shivered slightly as the enormous cannon fired and he swayed backwards, repositioning one foot to brace himself against the reaction. The shell's path was marked in vapour as it burst raindrops on its way towards the helicopter, that was still trying to evade the machine guns from the assault vehicles. Bullets from the aircraft ripped into the road, were blocked by one of the Wildcat’s shields and ricocheted away instead of hitting the trucks. Distracted by the hail of bullets the helicopter was struck by the heavy shell.

 

The aircraft slid dangerously to starboard as the shell tore through one ordnance carrying wing. It swung around its altered centre of gravity, and as it came in closer Sunny’s hands slid off the controls, fixated by its confused flight. The limb gauges showed a sudden increase in pressure, and then the world dropped away. The Wildcat’s jaws closed around the helicopter’s intact wing and pulled it down with it as the Metal Gear fell back to earth. Mud and composites and twisted metal flew as the aircraft’s rotors smashed themselves into the ground and the engines started to scream. A flick of its head and the Wildcat sent the helicopter flying away. It cart wheeled, streaming sparks into the rain. Shrapnel rang against the Metal Gear’s armour when the burning fuel tank set the ammunition off. Sunny reclaimed the controls, knowing the lapse would be showing up on the monitors back at base. She wasn’t supposed to not be in control (according to their strict briefing), but she wasn’t interested in spurning his own experience controlling Metal Gear. They turned to check the trucks and the Jackal loomed out of the mist at them.

 

“Gurlukovich, do you listen to a word anyone says?”

Sunny cringed. “I believe our job here is to p-protect the cargo and personnel,” she retorted. “That’s what I was doing, s-sir.” The was a pause and Sunny wondered if he was cursing them or considering the destruction of the aircraft. She wished she’d had a spectator’s seat, it must have been quite something to see the Wildcat snatch the helicopter out of the air like that. Suddenly the thought of the people in the machine made her shudder, bile rose in her throat.

_You’re not allowed to vomit in here._

She just had time to reach the ground and fall down the ladder before she retched up what was left of her last meal, ignoring the voice over the radio. The Jackal dropped its head and the pilot leant out of the cockpit.  
He called down. “That was impressive, but you do have to listen to me, if you want to keep doing any work at all.”  
She nodded, still looking green.

 

Ocelot’s silence should have clued her off to a problem the moment they got moving again, but it was a few minutes before she became aware of her surroundings again, having been shaken up herself. She still only noticed when the captain asked if there was an issue and she had to turn the Metal Gear away from where it had been drifting dangerously close to stepping on one of the trucks, that had been nervously edging onto the other side of the road.

“Something on your mind?” she asked. “You didn’t tell me we were drifting.”

_I just did that so automatically... Just grabbed it..._

“You did…” she coughed as her throat closed up. “Are you okay?”

_It was never that instinctual with RAY.._. his voice trailed off.

“Ocelot…?” Oh no, she bit her lip, not now, please not now. “You holding it together big guy?”

He made a sound that might have been a strangled laugh, but then again might have been the sound of impending lunacy. _Sure, why not. Weirder has happened._

“Tell me a story!”

_What? Now?_

“Yes, I’ll pay attention to the road, you just talk to me.” About something other than helicopters or how body dysphoria is probably finally sinking in, she thought.

He cottoned on, and with great, if terse, enthusiasm launched into a story:

 

_There was this small run down place while I was in Afghanistan, supplied the Soviet soldiers alcohol, whores and anything else they wanted, when they wanted, if they could pay. The owner looked like he’d own such a place. He was a ratty sort of man of indeterminate origin; he was blind in one eye and told everyone a different story about how he'd lost his sight._

_This was... I had just been moved to a new base, about 4 miles away from this dive, and I'd walked there that night. I'd just had the pleasure,_ he grumbled. _O_ _f being installed as the in-house interrogator, apparently the commanding officer of the base thought the demand was high enough to warrant asking for me..._

_His prisons were a shit hole._ Sunny raised her eyebrows, it wasn't often Ocelot cursed. _Utterly disgusting. I spent the best part of the week fighting just for permission to set some men about fixing up the place, cleaning it would be a start! On seeing the state of the prisoners I had the previous interrogators be my clean up crew. At the end of the week though, I had to get away._

 

_So I was nursing my drink and trying to keep my corner to myself when this other Soviet soldier walks in, about my age, but nearly twice as wide._ He laughed. _I'm sorry, that was cruel. Your grandfather wasn't a very fat man, but he always seemed to be, there was a lot of muscle under all that padding though. I recognised him from the medical wing back at the base, he'd been in when I'd been looking for medicine, apparently all those prisoners were needed for one reason or another, but they seemed quite content to let them die in those cells... Turned out he remembered me too, and for some reason that meant he could invite himself into my space._

_Wanted to know if I'd seen any of his unit, but if I had I hadn't known who they were._

_We ended up drinking together half the evening, he thought I was a lot older than I was... I'd gone grey young you see and the week and travelling to this place left me looking like hell, and he told me as much, which I didn't really appreciate._

 

_Banter turned into an argument and I fought him out into the open, I'd have beaten him too! Only I'd been drinking for over an hour before he showed up, so I just tripped over my own damn feet. He dragged me back to his vehicle and I'll be damned if I know how we drove back to base without crashing. Bastard dumped cold water on me when we got back.._.

 

_So it turned out that talk of my activities on base was doing the rounds and he'd heard 'all about me', but that the stories that had proceeded me and what I was doing didn't seem to add up. Well this is a dangerous subject to bring up when it's on my mind, because I nearly talked his ear off about my attitude towards my prisoners and techniques. I know what people say now, it's pretty much the same as they said then, and I DO get results, but I value good treatment too. Besides... Contrasting scenarios has a powerful effect, if your prisoners think you don't really want to hurt them, and they have faith that if they'd just talk it'll all go away, and some of them talk just because they like you, before you do anything to coerce them. Sergei hadn't liked the situation there, he shared my opinions on the subject, and believed the previous situation had revealed an ugly subversive undercurrent 'besmirching Mother Russia' and was glad I was taking those men in hand._

 

Ocelot stopped, apparently lost in his own thoughts, until Sunny quietly said: "Seems like you and Sergei got off to a good start."

_Yes, he wanted to work with me on establishing better conditions for everyone on the base, and better training for the prison guards too._

"So... What happened?"

_What do you mean?_

"With you and Sergei...?"

_Oh... Our opinions on things grew too different, he was... Very stubborn. Also when Olga was young I pointed out to her that her dad looked like Beaker from The Muppets, and he never forgave me for that._

"I somehow doubt that's the reason why things ended the way they did." Sunny said bitterly. Ocelot was wise enough not to push the joke.

 

The rain had been blown away, the bitter wind that blew through camp now battered the two Metal Gear. They were hunkered down on the edge of the buildings, alongside the other vehicles. The drivers and pilots had been offered beds for the night. The sun had set, most were asleep or trying to sleep. Sunny was curled up under her blanket listening to the sounds of the windy night. It was a strange sensation, curled up in the darkness, head buried under her itchy blanket. Silently talking with someone 30 yards away. The night was eerie and full of the promise of unseen threats—like that helicopter. Nothing else had attacked them during the day and Ocelot was on edge, disbelieving that one attack helicopter had been buzzing around on its own. To Sunny it felt like if someone should suddenly turn the lights on, Ocelot would be right there, a breath away from her. So close did his voice seem. Occasionally, to deflate her growing conviction Sunny would find an excuse to stretch out her arm and remind herself she was alone in the shadows of her bed. She asked quietly  
  
"When did you meet my mother?" she asked quietly.

Sunny sensed a pleasant warmth from him that seemed to approximate a smile.  
_Sergei and I were playing chess, he'd put her to bed long before I'd arrived but we woke her up talking too loudly. She was very young. Six maybe?_

"That young?"

_You sound surprised?_

"Just wondering how you can know someone for so long and treat them like that."

_Sunny, I_ —

Sunny sat up sharply as outside the unmistakable sound of a Metal Gear powering up and getting to its feet grabbed her attention. She leapt from her pallet and was still kicking her boots on as she stumbled outside.

 

Fearing the worst, a number of the unit were running towards where the Wildcat and Jackal had been left for the night, and, fearing the worst, many of them were running in the opposite direction. From where she was Sunny could see the blue wash of light from the Wildcat's powerful floodlights licking around the sides of abandoned buildings. The Metal Gear was not in view, but there was a sudden trumping of massive feet on hard ground and then the air was split by a terrible pig like squealing. Sunny found her second wind and sprinted for the clear area she'd left the Wildcat in for the night. When she got there however the Wildcat was just fine, though there was something in its jaws flailing about wildly and squealing and squealing so that Sunny covered her ears. She still heard the wet crunch as the crushing plate in the Wildcat's lower jaw lifted up and tore whatever was in its mouth in two. The twisted body was dropped to the ground unceremoniously and the Wildcat stepped backwards. That was when she saw the almost flattened corpse next to the dropped one. One unfortunate GEKKO had been ground into the earth, its twitching partner lay still with its fleshy legs twitching erratically in the dirt.

 

"Ocelot?" Sunny squinted against the harsh light and slowly the floods dimmed to only illuminate the GEKKO while they were inspected.

"Saw these two skulking around." His voice rumbled from overhead. The personnel who'd gathered around flinched. "Something to do with that helicopter from earlier?"

The commander shoved hard at the less flat GEKKO with his foot. Its head rolled pathetically to the side. There was a somewhat abstract yellow cat's head with red eyed painted on the side.  
"Balam." He muttered and looked around. "Sure seems that way. Better be on guard, we might have guests!" He called to the others, then looked up at the Wildcat. "You caught them approaching?"

"I did."

"Good, they were probably scouts. Be more careful next time, sometimes they're rigged to explode."

"Yes, sir."

 

Sunny watched the commander leave, looking somewhat surprised and pleased. No doubt over whom had just called him 'sir'. She looked back up and found the Wildcat looking down its long nose at her.

"Good work." She said.

_It was just a couple of GEKKO._

"You were the only one to notice them, we could have been attacked. Thank you."

_... I... You're welcome._ He stared at her, long enough for it to be uncomfortable, then released her from his gaze and stalked back to his resting spot beside the Jackal.

 

\---

 

_Sunny?_

"Hmn?" She paused in untying her shoelaces.

_I had a thought, something I'd like to try out._

"What's that?"

_What you did before, remote access of my... memory banks, can you still do that?_

"Sure I can."

_Will you now? I want to see if I can choose what to show you._

"I..."

_I've chosen something mundane, I promise._

"Alright then." Sunny kicked off her other boot and shuffled backwards onto her pallet, bundling the thin blanket about her shoulders to keep out the chill while she was occupied. She reached out tentatively and this time was surprised to feel something reaching back, it jerked her out of the nanolink for a second.  
"S-sorry."  
The second time she was more successful and fully engaged with the Wildcat's system. It was starkly different from when she'd last done this. Ocelot's consciousness surrounded her now, and in the real world the hairs on Sunny's arms stood on end, and not from the cold. She didn't have much time to consider her undefined surroundings before the virtual reality seemed to ripple and a different type of darkness, something defined and recognisable, appeared around her. Her breath steamed from her lips and the darkness solidified into the shadows under a forest canopy, there was the sound of a distant stream, wind in the branches, some wild animal not far off. The temperature was nondescript however, there was no scent. Sunny was surprised when she started walking, but of course this was a memory, she was just a passenger here. It was hard to see far, there were no lights here and barely any moon or starlight to speak of. A rabbit crossed the path in a blind panic and startled her, or Ocelot, many years ago.

The view panned around as Ocelot had looked over his shoulder, and the handful of black clad soldiers following him looked up him expectantly. Something moved in the forest.

 

Sunny blinked and the world turned white.

"Ocelot?"

_Stay like that, as if you were accessing the memory files._

"Okay..."

There was another shift in reality, but this time Sunny's surroundings didn't change, something else did. Ocelot's awareness seemed to have refocused, there was the sound of a light step, a metallic click, from behind her and she turned around sharply.

Ocelot held up his hands and tucked in his chin meekly.  
"What do you think?"

 

Sunny froze and time seemed to stop moving. He was a good head taller than her, if not more. Her first impression was that he was quite large, but the more she looked the more she realised it was an illusion of his heavy coat, wide stance and hair, which was platinum grey and smooth as silk about his shoulders—too smooth, of all details in his appearance, that one gave him away as a facsimile of the real thing. His crisp white collar came up to his jawline and hid most of his throat, which was slashed in two by a blood red cravat that matched his red leather gloves. His face was a peculiar mix of angles, a narrow nose with thin nostrils and high sharp cheekbones, counter balanced by a generally oval face—if one made gaunt by age. His drooping moustaches and knotted brow gave him a sad and worried expression. His eyes on the other hand, narrow, terribly pale blue with a piercing predatory gaze, sparkled with vitality and mischief. They were shadowed by long thick dark eyelashes that belonged to a far younger man. In bringing his hands up he had raised his knee length coat and parted it. Despite the added size it gave to his already broad shoulders and chest, it was his narrow hips and waist it disguised, as if he was determined to appear larger than he really was. Or so it seemed to her. Under his coat he was wearing a matching dark blue waistcoat and trousers, his waist was cinched in by a thick brown belt and his black boots were tipped with steel—but it was the sharp looking spurs at his heels that had made the metallic sound and the threatening looking revolver at his hip that held her gaze.

 

He dropped his hands and time started moving again. Though he couldn’t have been far off Snake’s height—and he’d been a giant to Sunny as a child—Ocelot’s stance just made him seem larger and stronger still. He didn't move, but Sunny found herself stepping closer, slowly, as if he might be set off by the vibrations of her footsteps. An undetonated bomb. Sunny was not a large woman herself and his looming presence was imposing, but she didn’t fully stop until she was standing under his chin glaring up at him. At first he scowled until his eyes became dark glittering slivers. Then his eyebrows arched to new heights and he grinned. Something in Sunny snapped. Ocelot stumbled back, blinking in surprise, one hand raised to the red welt on his cheek.

 

Sunny fell out of her bed, she didn't stop to put on her boots and didn't care when she went outside and mud squelched between her toes. The Wildcat rocked to its feet as she approached and took a step backwards.

_Try that again._ He snarled as she came up to him, flood lamps glowing in the darkness. _You’ll break your hand, go on, make my night._

"What is wrong with you!?"

_Me? I'm not the one arbitrarily hitting people!_

"How can you—!? How can you be like this!?"

_What are you talking about?_

"You're just, you're just a-a a guy! One man! You act like you haven't done anything!"

_Sunny..._

"You killed my grandfather! Kidnapped me! Made my mother sacrifice herself to YOUR goals to stop you from killing me! You tortured Snake! You..." She knotted her fingers into her hair. "What am I doing... What am I doing here?"

_Don’t take it so personally._

“How else am I supposed to take it!?” Her voice cracked and tears threatened to well up. "Why? Why did you do this to my family?"

_I told you Sunny, it's complicated and I_ —

"I know, you don't want to talk about it but I DO."

_Let me think a moment…_ The Wildcat settled back down and dropped its head down until its chin rested on the ground.

"Think? Did you give my mother the chance to think too? Or me!?"

_This is important to me too—_

“Shut up!” she brought her palm down against the metal and it landed with an unimpressive smack. “You don’t know when to stop do you!?” he didn’t answer and she screamed incoherently and pushed away, kicking him before she remembered she was barefoot. With a cry of pain she huddled up over her foot, and heard the hiss overhead.

_Climb up and get out of the cold._

“No.”

Sunny stood, the cold seeping in through her thin clothes, staring up until her neck started to ache, until she couldn’t stare any more, she stumbled forwards and slumped against the Metal Gear’s jaw. "Okay." She limped around to the rungs and climbed up.

_I'll talk._

"Good."

_Can we talk about this... In private?_

Sunny scowled. "You mean like—"

_Just now. Yes._

"Why?"

_I feel this is something I should speak to you about, face to face._

"Okay."


	14. Belonging

“ _You can’t patch a wounded soul with a Band-Aid_.”

\--

Michael Connelly, The Black Echo  


 

"Injuring yourself won’t bring them back."

“I thought you wanted to see me hurt," she choked, unable or refusing to look up at him. There were tears rolling down her cheeks now, but she wasn't sobbing. “Well, talk then." She looked up finally and met his sad gaze. Was he really sad or was that just how he looked? She sniffed. “I didn’t hurt you did I?”

"I’ve had harder handed women then you hit me. Your mother for one."

"Good."

"You want to hear the story?"

"Yeah."

"I warn you, I'm not trying to make myself sound better than I am."

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'd have failed at that anyway." She wiped her face and saw Ocelot smile from the corner of her eye. A chill ran up her spine.

 

"My goal was always to take control of the unit," he started. "Originally I had wanted Sergei's help to sink the tanker, blame it on Snake and Emmerich then use his men to take over the Big Shell. His reward was the promise of a fleet of RAY, and Arsenal, once Solidus' plan had been carried out. I'm sure you can see the sense in it Sunny: if he'd taken the prototype back to Russia, not only would it have ruined my plans for your uncles, but Russia would have been left with one prototype, by the time it had been reverse engineered and their own version gone into production, the US would have just built a new and better one. They had most of the data already."

Sunny nodded. "So what went wrong?"

"You mother announced she was pregnant with you. She refused to leave, Sergei refused to lead her into worse danger on Big Shell. One RAY was enough for him and of course my plans were unknown to him. I hoped that if he and I could get Olga to retire he would return to the original plan, but she was very stubborn. Frankly arrogant." He met Sunny's glare and returned it. "She had grown complacent in the unit, had every intention of fighting for as long as she could, then raising you as a warrior—she would take over from her father, you from her. In her words: it was where she belonged. You as well if you want to read into it." Ocelot crossed his arms and tucked in his chin.

"So..."

"So... If I couldn't make her leave, I had to change my plans. Sergei was just as stubborn as she was, he wasn't going to change his mind." He looked up at her nervously from under his eyelashes. "Sunny... Simply put I first thought I would take Olga, use her as leverage on Sergei, he would do anything for his daughter, but Olga put herself first, manipulating him was the easy way out, but by then I'd missed my chance. Sergei was neurotic and had soldiers with her almost every moment. I'd tried to force her out, and now I was trying to separate her out but after seeing me 'abandon' my unit on Shadow Moses, Olga had lost all trust in me, getting her alone was almost impossible. Before I knew it there was only one way to get her alone, and that nullified my plan. So I changed the plan and killed Sergei." He watched her face carefully, but Sunny was staring at his shoes. "It was a risk. Olga had been through a lot, and there was no guarantee you would even survive to term, she was callous too, she might not have cared that much about you when you were born. You did survive though, and loosing her father solidified her bond with you. So I took you and she did everything I asked—not without complaint."

"So it worked out, well done, I fail to see the part where this makes you look better." She spat.

"Well there was another component to taking you away from Olga, and how I got to that point. I... Sabotaged myself. I had plenty of opportunities of being Olga's 'guard' on Sergei's orders, plenty of chances to exercise my connections to The Patriots to have her kidnapped, but I didn't. I told myself each time that it wasn't enough, but truth be told I liked the idea of isolating her."

"You really are a bastard then."

"Want to hear me out?”  
She sighed. “Go on.”  
“What Olga was doing... Reminded me of things I'd seen in the past, I won't go into details, but you, had I not removed you from the situation, would not have been the first child soldier I had seen. It was bad enough Olga was willing to put your life at risk before your birth, but at least it was her body that was involved, but to dictate her own child's fate like that? I have seen so many lives destroyed because of adults forcing children to be their soldiers. Whether she was your mother or not, I could not agree with her choice."

"Too close to home?" Sunny muttered.

"...Maybe that. I didn't care if Olga hated me for it, but taking you away from her, and killing her father, isolating her and stripping her of her security did the job: she was going to retire. The moment I released you back into her custody she was going to break up the unit and be done with the life for good."

Sunny stared at him incredulously. "You really expect me to believe you only wanted to get me out of that situation?"

"No. I told you, my plan was to take control of the Gurlukovich Mercenaries. Getting your mother to retire was just a bonus."

"Huh."

"Why else do you think I volunteered your whereabouts to EVA so readily? The Patriots could look after a baby for a while and add verisimilitude to my story, but I didn't want you in their custody indefinitely, that would be as bad as leaving you to be born into the ranks of the mercenaries." Sunny stared at him unblinkingly, his expression became pained. "I do have more of my own, more personal reasons for doing this, but I will not be sharing those just now. The details are not relevant. Just know that together it was enough to bias me, heavily, into making a very risky choice that ultimately did not work out the way I'd hoped. Though I hope, not badly for you?"

"No, I suppose not."

 

"You're still angry at me."

"Of course I am! But I can’t hate you as much as I think I should.”

"Oh yes?"

“If you're telling the truth, then yes, my life probably did turn out better than if you hadn't done anything. Maybe my mother would have still given up later on, we can't know that, but I do have a family. I had Snake, and I have Hal and they both loved me. You didn’t have anyone.”

Ocelot raised an eyebrow at her spiteful look.

Sunny's expression softened. "So I can understand why you did what you did, not having a family yourself, seeing kids go through what you did... I don't like it, or agree with it, but I understand it. Tomorrow I’ll go home, and Hal will be there to greet me and I’ll go back to the house and we’ll have dinner together like normal human beings and I'll never know what my mother might or might not have done, but I can still appreciate what I have now.”

"Yes..." He mumbled.

"I know in the past people have used and controlled you, made you do things you didn't want to do, or even like to do, and I know sometimes you had your own reasons for doing what you did. Ones I don't profess to know or understand right now. If nothing else I can respect your determination.” His hand landed lightly on her shoulder and she jumped.

"You don't have to make excuses Sunny, be angry at me, you deserve to feel that."

"Oh I know, but if I was angry at you without considering why you... Did what you did. That would make me a hypocrite, I always take into account why Snake did something, and his hands weren't totally clean."

He nodded slightly and she looked up at him, eyes scanning his face, taking in every detail and still amazed that she was even standing here beside him. She resisted the urge to step out from under his hand, but he must have gotten a hint of the sentiment because he took it away himself.

 

"I'll say one thing for you: no one commands how you feel about anything… I… I admire that. You’ve never given in to outside pressure, even when the rest of the world would have told you you were wrong. I don’t like a lot of what you do or did, I’ll probably never fully understand your reasoning and maybe the rest of the world would have been right, but...” She trailed off and let the silence between them stretch out until he stepped around in front of her, head tilted, hair falling in a sheet across his shoulder.

"You admire me?"

“Well, kind of yeah! I have... Not always stuck to my guns as much as I wish I had, I can't help but admire that you did. You survived against improbable odds too, no one figured out what you were doing, and you were really… you were incredibly skilled; we looked at what happened, at least according to popular accounts, in school. Some of the kids thought it was funny you and Snake were still battling it out so late in life, but you don’t last that long unless you’re good at what you do. You survived in a hostile world for 70 years—nearly out lived all of the 'Snakes' and did it alone. I find your strength and determination admirable, even if you are lacking in other areas."

"Well... Thank you. I wasn't alone though." He straightened up. "I've had a number of good friends by my side, helping me."

"Helping your mission, I'm not sure about helping you."

Ocelot blinked and seemed to turn this over in his head. "Maybe you're right. Though Naomi did try to stop me a few times."

"Why did she stop?"

"She said she'd rather be by my side when I killed myself than be sent away and leave me alone..." He muttered.

"Oh."

"But she did help me, me, not just the mission. She was a good friend, I was... It was a shame when she fell ill."

"Yeah..." Sunny fidgeted. "S-sorry, I'm..."

"Heh. This is weird for me too." He smiled easily and she found herself smiling back.

 

\---

 

"Can I ask you something, Ocelot?"

_Go ahead._

Sunny cuddled her blanket closer. "I never asked... Why did you do it? What was driving you?"

He snorted. _I would have thought that would be obvious by now. What have I been hunting with such ‘admirable’ determination all these years? It’s gone now, if your claims are true, and I believe they are. My mission was a success after all... But up until now, Big Boss was the one who drove my actions._

"Up until now..."

Ocelot turned the concept over in his mind and spoke it to himself again and considered the taste of the words. Something was missing, bothering him, and it lay in the core of that concept somewhere.

“But why I mean? Why him? Why were his ideals so appealing to you? Perpetual war? Grooming war orphans?”

_It predates that._ He dismissed and Sunny had to swallow her disgust as he shrugged off Big Boss’ later goals as nothing worth discussing. _I met him many years before those ideas had ever come to him, and I was there when they started to form._ He started to flick through memory after memory, studying every image of Big Boss’ face from every angle, in any given moment, every warm smile, grimace, snarl, cold blank look… Something was missing.

“So... Why?”

_A man’s views can change, and his did… But he was still my idol, I aspired to be everything he was… What was it?_

"What?"

_Nothing..._ He said sharply. _You should sleep now, I'm going offline._

"O-okay. I'll talk to you in the morning."

_Hmn._

 

Sunny stared into the darkness as his weighty presence was lifted from her mind.

"I feel sorry for you..." She whispered. "At some point he just stopped being that person and you couldn’t accept it could you? I'm so sorry...”

 

\---

 

The next day was dry, though the ground was slippery underfoot from the previous days' rain. Both Jackal and Wildcat slid on more than one occasion, only to catch themselves again at the last minute. Ocelot remained quiet, lost in introspection and Sunny began to miss his company, and the rain. It had given her something to watch on the long journey, and he someone to talk to.

Sunny emphatically did not consider herself one of Ocelot's 'friends', for one thing she wasn't sure she could make that choice, but more than anything she wanted to draw a line that she would not cross in this their strange and developing relationship. Ocelot was surprisingly easy to get along with, with a contagious laugh and an easy charming smile. Though he had a thick layer of bitterness and trauma, like Solid Snake which had disguised his naturally gentle nature, Ocelot seemed naturally inclined to be a mellow and friendly individual. It was actually quite sad to consider how different his life might have turned out if that side of him had been encouraged. She blinked her eyes shut tightly. It wasn't worth thinking about, it hadn't happened that way. She had to deal with the Ocelot that really existed and he was deceptive and potentially dangerous.

 

She looked around and reached curiously for him, he responded enough to let her know he was okay, not breaking down, just thinking. She relaxed, until she saw the blip on the edge of the radar. She reached for the radio, but it chirped at her before she could touch it.

 

The commander informed the rest of the patrol of their shadow: a light helicopter. Sunny, already unhappy with Ocelot grew more annoyed, he must have known, he’d just not said anything. I’m the pilot, she thought, it’s my job to look at these screens, not his. Telling herself this didn’t do anything to calm her ire however, and she wished he’d at least say he’d been distracted to make up for it, but he said nothing. There was just silence. A tiny voice at the back of her head asked if that was so unreasonable, considering what their last conversation had been about, he'd made it clear the story had been disturbing him, and he was the one with a new life to adjust to. She drowned the little voice under her own anger at the injustice of it all.

 

The helicopter never got close enough to be a threat, never close enough to warrant conflict. Long before they got close to the base it vanished back to whence it had come. It went off radar and the Wildcat shook itself, as if ridding itself of an annoying fly.

 

\---

 

The gates rumbled shut behind them and without a word to Ocelot, Sunny lowered the machine’s head and turned it to Autopilot and went for the ladder. She dropped to the ground and was greeted her ever-worried uncle limping towards her with his arms out. After a tight hug, which was welcome, she was hit with all the things that she (and the Wildcat) had done while off base that the personnel here hadn't liked or wanted explanations for.

 

For his part Ocelot was just fine leaving Sunny to explain their, and his, actions alone. He straightened up and watched as the small family was reunited, so glad to see each other again, even after just two days. The Jackal's pilot soon joined them to add his two cents. Ocelot could hear him talking, congratulating Sunny, telling Emmerich she needed to learn to listen to orders better but had done very well considering the situation; telling him of the impressive move she had pulled with the helicopter!

 

He growled to himself and stepped over them, enjoying Emmerich’s yelp, and slunk into the garages. It was obvious where he should be, and it wasn’t where she belonged.


	15. Subterfuge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: since I don't bring it up at the start, it's worth mentioning that of the first game, I'm only referencing the original MGS for Playstation, not Twin Snakes, so if anything doesn't match up to that version of the game, that's probably why. That said there's still a healthy amount of headcanon involved.

“ _Espionage, for the most part, involves finding a person who knows something or has something that you can induce them secretly to give to you. That almost always involves a betrayal of trust._ ”

\--

Aldrich Ames

 

 

 

12th January, 2000

 

The analogue clock on the wall taunted him, the batteries were too weak or the mechanism loose, the minute hand kept slipping backwards. Time seemed to stand still. He resisted the urge to fish his fob from his pocket and check the time and nodded in empty agreement at the condemnation spilling from the flabby mouth of the man with the too-tight collar. The man had been pontificating loudly and at length across and down the length of the table. He was unpleasant, but not as much so as the woman opposite Ocelot, who hadn’t taken her eyes off him at any point during the session. She was new, sent in place of some CIA representative and was taking a lot of notes, in Ocelot’s opinion the CIA were more fond of taking notes than taking anything from the notes, and he’d taken an immediate dislike to her. His skin was starting to crawl under her gaze and he was trying not to fidget. She'd fixed her gaze on him from the moment she'd come into the room and he’d been left trying to work out if he knew her. She was unsubtle, prying and distracting and he kept missing things now. Did she have something on him? What could she have seen or heard?

 

I leave the same way every time, they know I have a preferred route, some of them have even mentioned taking the same roads as I do, did she follow me and wait for me to leave my apartment again? Did I drop something? He wracked his brains for a hint of missing paper, codes, notes, a name lost in a hallway, words muttered under his breath, a car following him back to the den, a bug? Was he bugged, he’d have to check after the meeting… Maybe it was nothing, maybe his reputation proceeded him, maybe she was just unsubtly curious? Maybe he couldn't take that risk.

 

“Agent Revolver Ocelot?” Damn it, what were they talking about?

“Yes, sir?”

“I asked you a question, Ocelot.”

“Apologies, I missed what you said, sir.”

“Do try to pay attention.” The man, Donald, sitting beside the pontificator looked down his nose at him, he was a good few years older than Ocelot but they went way back and Ocelot did not appreciate how often he looked down on him. As if he was so much better for being left in charge of the program, as if that even mattered now, times had changed, the Program had changed. Someone muttered something to a neighbour and there was a snigger. Ocelot clenched his jaw. Yes, times had changed, he had changed. His eyes flickered over the comparatively youthful faces around him.

 

“I asked if you had anything new to report on your, so far fruitless, hunt for your fellow Agent: EVA… Or should we replace you, for someone less emotionally invested?”

“Sir, with all due respect, I have no emotional investment in a traitor to our cause, least of all that woman.”

"Our records on your previous relationship indicate otherwise." Donald said tightly. "Don't think I've forgotten so soon myself."

"EVA and I had shared interests, complementary styles, knowledge about each other. That does not make me personally invested. Our agreement ended with her betrayal."

The bilious looking one tugged on his collar and chuckled nervously.

Donald nodded to himself. "I remain surprised that you didn't join her."

“I dislike seeing a soldier of his calibre in that condition, sir, but I understand the reasons and my resolve has not wavered. I will find her, sir, and I will kill her.” He refused to let his gaze wander, knowing the woman with the dark eyes was still staring at him.

“So, that means there is nothing new to report?”

"...Yes, sir."

 

 

He danced his fingers along the glass, and waited for a reply to the tap tapping, instead the machines in the other room beeped quietly in response and he hated them all the more. He considered tapping out Morse code in case John was still in there somewhere, listening.

Tell me what to do.

But it was too risky.

There was a nurse in there now anyway. She was carefully changing bandages on the half dead thing that lay in there. Its skin was raw, shelled in black carbon run through with red rubies. It was shedding skin like an old reptile, but the flesh underneath it lacked the healthy gleam of a freshly shed snake, it was hot, shiny, taught. Though a good portion of its face had escaped the fire, it was marred by an old burn, an old nightmare, and offered nothing more than an expressionless mask and shameful memories. Ocelot dropped his hand and touched the old revolver at his hip for comfort and looked away from the sunken eye socket gazing emptily at the ceiling. The nurse was glaring at him. What was it with the women around here? He bared his teeth and left the private hospital wing, it was time to go anyway.

 

He propped himself up on the Bullet while he checked his pockets one last time and let the bike warm up in the frigid air. The machine's familiar sound masking the approaching footsteps, but not the voice: “Nice bike.”

He looked up sharply at the dark eyed woman. She was brushing her hand carelessly over her equally dark hair, twisting it through her fingers, Ocelot watched it flick free and noted that the cold air hadn’t been any kinder to her. He resisted the urge to smooth back his hair, instead he shrugged his heavy coat closer to make her aware of it, aware of the cold.  
“Thank you.”

“Isn’t really the weather for it though, is it?”

“No, not really, but then I’m used to it.” He let his voice drip with an easy suppressible accent and she tittered.  
“Oh of course, you’re Russian.” She said it like it made him a different species. Like she’d really forgotten. His narrow eyes flickered over her: young, aggressively attentive, writing down more than she should and following strange men into poorly lit parking garages. He dragged his eyes off her neat suit and looked back at her face; she couldn’t be much more than 30, maybe less, new to the position.  


"What’s your code name?”

“You don’t remember?” she simpered pretending not to notice his condescension. “Well I shouldn't be surprised. I was a reserve member of FoxHound until I was moved after an injury, but while I was still with the unit you gave us _such_ a good demonstration of gunmanship, on Big Boss’ recommendation. I mentioned that to you at the time: how good you were, but it was a show worth being complimented on twice.” She paused but he was impassive. “I’m Grackle.”

“Bird class? Your career ended quickly but you did well.” He grinned.

“Thank you.” Almost no hesitation. She glanced down and flexed one leg. She was shivering in the penetrating cold.

 

 

“You didn’t come out here to talk motorbikes and old shooting demonstrations, now, did you, Grackle?”

“N-no…” She dipped her head as if to hide her embarrassment. “Actually I wanted to tell you, I really admire what you’re doing, she was your partner right? This must be hard on you…”

“We worked together occasionally, we weren’t really partners.”

“But you knew her for a long time right?”

“Since the Cold War,” it had become a stock answer for him for so many questions, and it said nothing, the war had gone on for so long, he could have met her as a child for all this woman knew.

“So killing her—”

“As I said previously, she betrayed us.” He sighed heavily and with annoyance and swung around to straddle the Bullet. “I will make her pay for that, but not right now, now I wish to go home and plan my next move. She won't escape me long, she's running out of hiding places.”

“The two of you must have a pretty good understanding of how the other thinks?”

“A fair understanding, I know where she’s likely to be, she knows I know, it’s a bit of a tiresome dance.”

“You didn’t have that last year did you?”

“What?” He snapped.

“The bike, it’s new?”

“…It was a gift.”

“From her? She liked them?”

“Yes, she was always on her bike, if I find her, it’ll be in the saddle. This was from her; she thought the name was amusing. She never had a very well developed sense of humour. The bike more than makes up for it.” He chuckled. “Pass my helmet?”

She did, finally letting her hair go to do so.

“I’ll see you soon I hope, Grackle?” he purred. “It’s been nice talking to you.” She tittered again and he tried not to roll his eyes.

 

He had one eye on the traffic behind him all the way. He soon picked up on what he expected to see: a small dark green car trailing him. Sometimes it was only a few vehicles back, sometimes nearly invisible in the traffic, but always there. He led her through a meandering drive through the city, but she didn’t lose him. He had to finish this soon, he had business to attend to and his fingers were getting cold, and his feet, and knees and he was starting to regret not tucking his trousers into his boots to shut out the cold clinical and utterly immodest wind. He regretted getting old.

 

He turned off and made as if towards the river. Shortly he made a show of turning to look over his shoulder and peer into his mirrors, then made his drive more leisurely as if he'd checked for a tail and been convinced he was alone. Sure enough she dropped back. He drove slowly and looked intently around, mimicking a search for a person or a sign. Back in her car Grackle blinked owlishly and watched his distant figure almost stop at a street lamp, turning as he went by to inspect it, see… Something on its neck and speed away again. When she passed it saw saw a torn missing person's poster, some graffiti, nothing that had any meaning to her. Two blocks on he stopped and she nearly drove into him, instead she cruised past and came to a halt around the corner. By the time she came back on foot, the bike, and the rider, had vanished. Going to where she’d last seen him she saw the narrow alley with the bike almost hidden behind a large bin that almost blocked the passageway. A poor hiding place if someone were actually looking, and a dead end. The bike might be out of the way down there, but he wasn’t there with it. She cast about for signs of where he’d gone. Muddy slush tracked from the alley indicated he'd made his way to the empty apartment building on the right side of the bike’s hiding place.

"The perfect place for a couple of rats."  


The door was broken in, and with her steady hand slipping under her coat to her pistol, Grackle stepped cautiously into the building. A flight of stairs greeted her and a dim light upstairs encouraged her, so, someone was at home. She’d have to tread carefully; both of her quarries were dangerous, best not to catch them together. She listened intently for voices and catching the sound of a woman’s voice ducked behind the banister to eavesdrop, anticipation and nerves welling up.

 

“…Again? Already? But it’s only been a few days, ADAM.”

“I know, but they’re getting suspicious, every time I try to reach you I have to try harder to make sure I’m not followed. They don’t trust me.”

“You thought they would? Just volunteering for the job must have made them wary.”

“I’ll find you a better place this time.”

“This time? I’ll have to leave the city. I can’t stay here, they’ll find me sooner or later and we’ll both be caught.”

Grackle bit her lip and grinned, this was perfect, both of them all at once, she’d be lorded as the one who brought down Big Boss’ compatriots, high ranking and infamous agents both. She fished in her pocket for a handheld recording device, hoping it was powerful enough to pick up their words.  


“There’s a place I know, I was… Reluctant to mention it, but it’s out of the city, it would be good for a while.”

“Can you afford it?”

“Of course I can.” Grackle crept closer, the voices seemed to be getting quieter or further away and she couldn’t afford to miss this. A floorboard creaked on the stairs, she froze, but the fugitive and her ally didn’t seem to hear. Ocelot's voice was low and hard to hear when he said: “Don’t worry about the money. Just keep your head on our mission.”

“Our mission…”

“You’re not thinking of backing out?” There it was: the utter disgust that was missing every time he talked in the meetings, he never sounded like that when discussing her betrayal. “Now? When he needs us more than ever?”

“No!" The woman's voice exclaimed. "No of course not…” Damn it, they weren’t going to say where the new hideaway was going to be?

“Good. Or you owe me for all these apartments and—”

“And the food and the clothing and the… I know. You know I’m with you all the way. I wouldn’t have left those—I’m with you.”

“I know,” his voice growled. “I just…”

“It’s okay, and things are going well even if I do have to keep moving on.”

 

Grackle grit her teeth, she had to do something, maybe injure him, then run? Eva would be so occupied with stopping the bleeding that Grackle herself could escape, get back up before they could leave, and Ocelot would have no option but to… No that was a stupid plan. She’d reached the landing, at least she could get visual confirmation, she had a buttonhole camera. She’d had it attached to her jacket ever since Ocelot had attracted her attention with his almost religious visitations to the sealed room in the hospital. Just one photo would be enough, but it would be risky to get it. The landing was deserted; the light came from the first apartment where two candles illuminated a spartan cot, and nothing else… Strange. She frowned, but then maybe this was a highly-temporary solution. She moved on, following the voices which were now down to whispers.

 

The third door down was mostly closed, more soft light shone from the cracks, not flickering this time, more like an electric light.

“…How is he?”

“As you’d expect of man burnt to a cinder.”

“Don’t talk like that!”

“You have no right to tell me how to talk!” Grackle took advantage of the argument’s sudden ignition to approach the door, getting ready to open it a crack and look for a photo opportunity.

“I don’t want to hear that…”

“I’m the one going to him! You ran away! When you can look on that _thing_ that was John, then you have the right!” she couldn’t see them through the gap, damn them, they couldn’t be in the right places could they? She pushed against the door until she could slip though, pressed against the nearest wall and edged along until she could, should she dare, lean around the corner. Their voices were so clear now she knew they had to be right there… Did she dare? She fumbled with the camera and held it carefully in her hand. Did she dare to lean around the corner? The light flashed close to her face, she reeled back, blinded, an impact to her jaw threw her back into the door, the wet thin wood crunched, and she bounced to the floor. Her head was spinning and she could feel hot liquid running down her burning skin. It was commanding a lot of attention with the pain that engulfed that side of her face, but it didn’t detract from the crunch of her wrist as a boot stamped down on it and twisted. She cried out and tried to pull free, the powerful torch was still turned onto her face, but the moment she let go of the camera it was turned away.

 

Blinking rapidly to dispel the dots that marred her vision Grackle squinted up right at Ocelot’s blazing eyes, he twisted his foot again and she whined.

“Now you have two bad limbs.” He said simply. "I wonder what they'll do with you now you can't fight or write?"

“So, when do we leave?” Said a voice behind him.

He looked over his shoulder. “Amazing how easy it is to set up a decent speaker system these days, huh?” He turned back with a smile. “I’m glad you got here when you did though, in about 2 more minutes the CD skips and Eva gets the worst case of hiccups you ever heard, haha! I should probably hurry up and start using MP3s or whatever it is these days, technology moves so fast.” He winked.

Grackle stared, feeling herself go numb. “When was the last time—”

“She was here? She’s never been here. She left the country the moment she turned her back on the Patriots.”

“That conversation…”

“Staged. Did you know we were pretty damn good actors too? Of course Eva surpasses me in that she’s really very good, but I think I did pretty well.” He beamed down into Grackle’s large dark eyes, empty of the suspicions she’d felt during the meeting, empty of the tittering coyness that had irritated him in the garage where she's been scoping out his vehicle, empty of hope. His smile widened and inwardly he made adjustments, just because he had the opportunity to do whatever he wanted, didn't mean he should, but he did love it when they realised it was all so hopeless. It was like a present they could both enjoy. He plucked the camera from her jacket and let it drop to the floor, He relieved her of her firearm, checked the safety and jammed it in his belt. Then he crushed the camera.

 

Holding her arm close Grackle slowly got to her feet as Ocelot walked away. He ignored her as she stood, ignored her as she sidled towards the door, sighed as she staggered onto the landing. Feeling, vicariously, the rise of hope in her chest, she was running before she was a third of the way down the stairs, spurred into action by the sound of footfalls. The Spetsnaz throwing knife hit her in the back before she was half way down and she screamed as she stumbled and fell, rolling to the ground floor. She lay there, gasping, as Ocelot walked down and crouched just beside her, grabbing the knife and twisting it deeper.  
“My sincerest apologies, I normally finish these things quickly you know, but in the circumstances... I thought you might like to know by the way, I was very impressed by your skills when we first met, very impressed indeed.” She heaved a sob. “But you should be glad you had to leave FoxHound, you wouldn’t have lasted five minutes, underestimating your opponents like this. Oh… Well I suppose you didn’t do very well out of FoxHound either… Hmn? Oh… She passed out.” He stood up and prodded her with the toe of his boot. “Must have hit her head. Probably for the best, but what to do with you…” The mark of his spur across her face would never do, he grimaced, in hindsight, it would probably have been best to kill her upstairs. Sod it all.

 

"Is she dead?"

"Nearly. I'll make sure she's finished before I leave."

"What are you doing?"

He looked over his shoulder, still crouching beside the rapidly expiring woman and held up her wallet and the recording device. "Robbery."

EVA emerged from the darkness of the cellar and joined Ocelot beside the body. “Since you’re here, I take it I have to move again?”

He grabbed the hilt of the knife and dragged it with him as he stood up. “I’m afraid so. Could you…?”

“Make this the last time for a while will you? I don’t want my boys caught and blamed for your mishaps.”

“Mishaps!?”

"Someone probably heard the scream you know."

"Probably, but they won't do anything about it." He stood up.

"Do you think they'll buy it? Killed for... How much was it?"

Ocelot flicked through the wallet, took out a bundle of notes and tossed the wallet down beside her. "25 bucks."

"25 bucks..."

“Hmn.”

“Next time just get rid of any problems. Don’t show off.”

“I won’t.”

“… I count that as five.”

“Four!”

“Four times? Really?” A reluctant smile appeared on her lips.

“You’ve said it to me four times, no more, no less.”

“Well if you’re so good at remembering why don’t you stop it?”

“You can’t stay in the country any longer.” He deflected.

“Where am I going?”

“East.”

“How far?”

“Any preferences?” She ran the backs of her fingers against his knuckles. “I can’t be there,” he reminded her.

“I guess somewhere south-east. I want a hot summer.”

“This isn’t a holiday you know,” but he was smiling again. “South-east it is then.”

“You’re an angel.”

“With a growing pool of blood at my feet,” he shuffled backwards.

“Both of our feet. I’ll call someone to deal with this." She frowned. "And go turn off that CD I’m starting to think we have ghosts.”

"Don’t we? Don't bother calling anyone, someone will find her eventually and she'll be just another victim of the city's crime epidemic."

"ADAM."

"Hmn?" He looked up and met her concerned gaze.

"Be careful, don't let them find you out."

"Of course not!" EVA looked deliberately down at Grackle as her body let out a shivering final breath.

"I can't loose you too."

 

\---

 

Present Day

 

"Ocelot. Ocelot!”

Slowly his lamps started to burn and he realised the day was far colder than yesterday, a thin layer of frost had settled on his skin. It did no harm these days but it still made him feel colder somehow. Sunny was wearing her jacket, but her shoulders were hunched and her nose was getting redder by the moment.

_South was such a good idea._

“We’re still going south, unless you’ve heard something different?”

_What?_

“We’re still going south? Soon? As in today soon?" Her confused smile faded. "Are you okay?”

 _Perfectly fine, thank you._ He snipped.

“Yeah, you sound fine,” she shook her head. “Do me a favour? Don’t be a grumpy old man for one day. You’re needed,” she nodded towards the hangars. “Hal wants to talk to you too.”

 _Oh joy._ Sunny winced as his hydraulics howled into action, muffled by his armour but still noisy enough in the early morning. _Headache?_

“No. Just didn’t sleep,” she mumbled and retreated as he stood up. “I’ll be back in a bit. Breakfast.”

_Get me a coff-er nng never mind._

 

When Hal arrived the Wildcat was sitting hunched over and staring into the distance. It only slowly turned its truck sized head to look at him when he stopped directly in front of it. Hal stared up at the machine, surprising his nerves when its lamps switched on and he was forced to look away or be blinded. He squinted up against the light and searched for any way to read the solid impassive face. The manipulator arms arched and uncurled a bit, but otherwise there was no movement. Hal did not know how to read the gesture. Ocelot pulled himself from his thoughts and studied the man before him. Hal might be a lot older now, and his face lined with age as well as worry, but he had survived and come through the stronger for it. In the privacy of his mind Ocelot scratched his beard and wondered how Snake had seen so much potential in this scrawny little engineer.

 

Finally the Wildcat's flood lamps switched off and the dragonlike head dropped down close to Hal who swallowed nervously as the cockpit opened and a tinny voice asked: “You wished to talk to me? If it’s about Sunny’s safety—”

"You know what I'm going to say."

"Of course, but you're going to say it anyway."

"There's no point in pretending you don't know what she means to me, if anything happens to her, if you do anything to her! I will be first in line to see you destroyed, for good this time."

"Isn't that a little hypocritical?"

"I'll be a hypocritical as I need to be to see you gone."

"And yet, I'm still here?"

"I..." Hal cleared his throat.

"Don't want Sunny to think less of you, is that it?"

"I—"

"Well you know I can't hurt her, I'm simply unable, so you can stop worrying about that."

Hal clenched his jaw and swallowed his retort. "You know," he said after a moment. "I was always against her joining the company. Of having anything to do with this business. When she joined, she and I… Discussed our feelings on the subject.”

"A euphemism for an argument?" Ocelot drawled.

Hal sighed. “It hurt me that she wanted to go into this life, my… my stepsister did the same, knowing what our family history was like, she… did it to hurt me in some ways. I know she, Sunny, didn’t do it for the same reasons, but it hurt anyway, that after everything she could still want this.”

"Ah yes... Emma..."

Hal looked up sharply at hearing Emma's name spoken in Ocelot's dry tones.

"I remember her..." he trailed off, unspoken words hanging in the air. Hal opened his mouth and Ocelot quickly spoke again: "So why does Sunny want this?”

“To understand better, to understand her family. Snake and I and her parents. I don’t believe this life is really what she wants but... She does want answers.”

“What was it you wanted of me, Doctor?”  


Hal's gaze dropped from the Metal Gear and fixated on the sooty wall behind it. “I want you to knock her off this path; I don’t want her to be like... I... I don’t want this to destroy her too.”

Ocelot's laugh was humourless. "And you come here warning me not to hurt her?" Hal looked up sharply. "You can’t keep her innocent forever you know.”

“I know that, but—!"

“Sooner or later we all find out what we’re made of, but if it’ll put your mind at ease: I won’t be actively encouraging a combative career choice, I don’t think she’s cut of the right cloth.”

Hal blinked, visibly wrestling with his thoughts before he choked out: “Thank you… Don’t tell her about this, will you?”

“Tell her that her uncle is undermining her work? No of course not.”

“I’m just trying to protect her!"

"I'm sure, and I'm sure she'd see it that way."

"Please..."

The Wildcat slowly stood up and Hal backed away. "I will tell her, if she asks me directly, but I won't volunteer the information unless it is pertinent."

"Pertinent?" He croaked.

"Pertinent." Ocelot replied dryly. "I'm sure Sunny will be returning soon." Hal ducked as the Wildcat smoothly stepped over him and stalked out onto the yard.


	16. Ambush

“ _You can't really know what you are made of until you are tested._ ”

\--

O.R. Melling

 

“Please don’t bounce so much.” Sunny lifted her chin and squeezed her eyes shut, she hadn’t had a headache when they started out but it was rapidly going that way. The Wildcat pawed at the wet crumbling ground, slowing but only for a moment. Overhead the clouds were patchy, the rain had held off since they’d returned from the supply run where they’d encountered the helicopter. The sunlight was weak, pale gold, it glared off the puddles and aggravated Sunny’s growing pain. The sky was watery, the ground a slowly drying sickly brown, the air wasn’t even trying to warm up. To Ocelot, where each day seemed half an eternity behind the high walls of Epsilon-6, it was a perfectly gorgeous day. Sunny’s discomfort did nothing to dampen the spring in his step—though he did try to soften the bounce of his head when she stopped trying to talk to him and banged her knee against the control panel instead.

_Hey! Stop that!_ The Wildcat stopped and clacked its jaws in annoyance.

“Stop trying to give me a headache! The aspirin hasn’t kicked in yet.”

 

He pulled forwards away from the REX coming up behind him. This time taking care not to jog the cockpit.

“Thank you.” Sunny sack back gingerly. She did appreciate it, it was only a short trip to the official starting point of their mission. After that their speed would be dictated by the rest of the troop and she couldn’t blame him for wanting to make the most of this short time. He could dance circles around the slower moving REX. Which had taken leisurely snapping motions at the lighter machine as it passed by, Sunny didn’t know who the pilot was but she appreciated their attempts, anything that gave Ocelot some kind of positive stimulation. The REX easily avoided a half-hearted attempt at being tripped and Ocelot laughed and darted away with the REX’s bellow following him. No doubt there were people on the road staring at the two in bemusement. Play wasn’t commonly associated with war machines after all.

 

In the end it wasn’t the REX that tripped.

 

Sunny opened her eyes slowly and glanced over the damage screen, high pressure and impact cautions were just fading from the screen, but the Metal Gear was unharmed, her head however felt like it was about to split in two.

“Going to be more careful now?” She ground out.

_Yes._

“Going to caper around?”

_Nope._

“Good man.” The Wildcat wriggled its feet back under itself again and stood up, shivering mud off its chest and chin.“Nothing but your ego bruised I hope?”

“Everything okay?” Came over the radio, REX 005C.

“Yes,” she frowned as the last cautions dropped off. “We’re fine.”

“That was quite impressive, there’s a good 50 feet of slide behind him.”

The Wildcat turned and looked at the furrow in the mud. _Always leave your mark, Sunny._ Despite her headache Sunny smiled at the embarrassment in his voice.

“Well if you’re going to do something, might as well do it well.”

 

The rest of the trip was thankfully uneventful. As they trudged down the final slope Sunny almost missed the waiting men and machines, her eyes were focused on the HUD.

"What did they say about your hips? There was a problem right?"

_Oh, yeah. I'm not walking like I was built to, it's putting too much pressure on the joints._

"Hmn..."

_But that it's not an immediate issue. At least before I belly flopped into the mud..._

With every other step the pressure on the right went into the yellow.

“How does it feel to you? Do you think that’s going to be okay? We could still head back?”

_No. It’ll be fine._

“We’re not going to be back until nearly Christmas…”

_Christmas already... When did we meet?_

“Uh… Second week in November? Feels like I’ve known you forever though.”

_A lot has happened in a short time. We have our lives and our jobs still, because of you._

“As if you did nothing. I got us into this mess.”

_But if not for you I’d be a mindless machine instead of… What I am now._

“Hmn.”

_You’re still not sure about that are you?_

“You tell me—h-how does it feel to help create a powerful and s-self-aware computer system?”

_Touché._

“I don’t intend to blow you up though.”

_And I don’t intend to reign supreme over all humanity._

“Good, no one would take you seriously after that trip, and you’d get nowhere.”

_I thought you had a headache!_

"I do, can you take over? I want a nap..."

_We'll get in trouble._

"That goes without saying."

 

\---

 

Sunny dropped down to the ground, repressing the urge to stare around at the vehicles, including tanks, and the troops around her. Sunny was not entirely innocent to these sights but they weren’t so common as to have lost their novelty.

“Pilot Sunny Gurlukovich?”

“Yes, sir,” she turned smartly to the commander. “Major…”

“Walker,” he said looking down at the clipboard in his hand. “This is the Wildcat then?”

“Yes sir.”

“It’s true what they say?”

“Sir?”

“You’re Revolver Ocelot?” There was a pause, but the Wildcat raised its head from the ground and nodded slowly. “You’re a lucky man. I wouldn’t have been quite so kind as your pilot in her place.” He looked back down at Sunny who’d been intently working on remembering his face while he was distracted: he was of her height, with a triangular head and peppery hair, his eyes were hard and brown. “You’ll be with the leading vehicles,” he pointed. “We’ll be moving out soon so go get into position. Ask for Sergeant Hernandez, he’ll tell you where you need to be.”

“Yes, sir!”

_Do you think he’s big on exercise generally or just walking?_

“Hmn?” she glanced up at him as she walked towards the front of the unit.

_Major Walker._

“Don’t say that, I won’t be able to hear his name without smirking.”

_I knew a Major Cox once._

“I’m sure you did.”

_What’s that supposed to mean?_

“Nothing at all.”

 

\---

 

…Doctor Emmerich will be glad to have you back for the holidays.

“My friends were furious.”

_That’s why you didn’t sleep last night?_

“I was out with them, and Rich.”

_He’s not your friend?_

“Well, you know…”

_Not really._

“W-well they didn’t like how long I’d left it before telling them I was going.”

_We just found out ourselves._ He sniffed. _We’re not mind readers. Heh, not outside of the two of us anyway._

“They’re just worried. I can understand that.”

_And Rich?_

“Of course! But he says it's 'cool' I’m going off to war,” she shook her head. “I told him it wasn’t really like that.”

_War or not there’s likely to be fighting, can you handle it?_

“I think so. I’ll have to.”

_It’ll be hard at first. Always is._

“Was it hard for you when you were younger?”

_I barely remember._ He said quickly.

 

Sunny tilted her head to look sideways at him. Even the earliest memories he’d recalled had startling clarity, he’d obviously had a good memory as a living breathing human. She shrugged it off as being too uncomfortable for him to recall, but that didn’t comfort her. His experiences as a child wouldn’t help her deal with her own problems, as people they were too different, she told herself. Sunny stretched and considered taking another aspirin, but the pain in her head was starting to fade and instead she trudged off to find her commanding officer.

 

They were limited to matching the speed of the slowest of the convoy, which for the long legged Metal Gear was a frustrating pace full of pauses and starts. As the day wore painfully on they passed through the muddy Bufferlands marked with the bodies of the fallen Metal Gear that had broken through and deep into enemy territory, or been lost defending it, and were too damaged to be worth recovering. The Wildcat took a small detour to skirt around a battered and twisted tank. Its tracks were hanging loose like entrails and a huge chunk had been taken out of it, revealing the innards. Following the Wildcat's gaze Sunny half expected to see a broken skeleton inside, but it was empty.

 

The Wildcat was, if still a prototype, a prototype for a combat focused Metal Gear. It had been designed with solo work in mind. Traditionally Metal Gear were accompanied by some form of support. They rarely worked alone as despite their size and power they were vulnerable to the right armaments and what worked on traditional tanks usually worked on the walking variety. REX were heavily armed, but slow and required protection from ground level when deployed, RAY were quick but had massive weak points in the backs of their mouths and on the insides of their hips, they tended to be deployed in packs of 3.

 

They passed a Red RAY with its right leg twisted at an uncomfortable angle and large chunks of it missing—cannibalised—there was silence in the cockpit. It didn’t go off the Wildcat’s screens until they were well past it. It seemed even Ocelot couldn’t take his eyes off the downed machine.

_If I go down out here. Will I be abandoned too?_

"I don't know..." Sunny murmured. "I don't know, you're pretty special after all."

_I am more of an investment?_

"I mean... BBR aren't going to want you in someone else's hands..."

Ocelot remained silent for a while then sighed. _You know I was against Clark's plans._

"What plans?"

_To retain control over the twins, Liquid and Solid. Infertile, rapid ageing... All so other people couldn't get their hands on them and their genetic material. No one cared that their new weapons were going to be their own men one day._

"I'm sorry."

_For what? It didn't happen to me._

"No, but now it might as well be."

_Hey, speaking of Snakes... You want to know something?_

"What...?"

_Thanks to Snake, I've never really been all that impressed by tanks._

"You mean... when he fought Vulcan Raven?"

_Oh no, though that was impressive. No back during the cold war, when Metal Gear were a new concept, they were originally put aside in favour of... Call it another evolutionary line, one that went extinct. Metal Gear were thought to be too different, too much new technology that would need to be developed to get them off the ground, the USSR wasn't interested in that. So funding was put into the Shagohod, the Treading Behemoth, instead. It was basically a giant tank, only it was in two segments and the front segment had screws. It had... rocket engines._

"Why do you need rocket engines on a tank?"

Ocelot laughed.

_It was like a Metal Gear: a moveable launch platform for nukes, apparently the idea was that it would start moving and the rockets would give it a boost of speed and THEN it would launch it's missiles, using its speed as part of the launching process._

"Huh."

_It was actually pretty terrifying, but then even a small tank would have been, being piloted by the Colonel._

"Personally I think having a tank of any size coming at you would be terrifying."

_That's probably a fair point, but if you consider that a base line for terrifying, then this was worse. Snake and EVA lured it out into the open, Snake leapt off her motorbike and she kept it busy and Sunny, I have never in all my life been as amazed by anyone's sheer BALLS as I was hers that day, she darted around the Shagohod like nothing I've ever seen before or since and kept it busy while Snake shot grenades at it_. Ocelot gave a deep satisfied sigh. _And after that all other tanks have just not impressed me like they used to._

"I kind of wish I'd seen that..."

_EVA and I were far from allies at that point, but I couldn't help but cheer her on I think I nearly had ten heart attacks just watching that fight._

"When did—" the radio popped and interrupted. Sunny answered the call, which was informing them to change their heading to avoid an obstacle some miles ahead—some kind of mine field. She grimaced and turned the Metal Gear in time with the others, keeping the vehicles out from underfoot.

 

"You mentioned Metal Gear were already being designed back then? In Russia?"

_Yes._

“In Russia? Wasn't the first Metal Gear American made?"

_Don’t you know? I would have thought your uncle would have told you?_

“Mmn-mn. He doesn’t like to talk about it, and when he does he gets angry with himself. I-I don’t like to ask.”

_A man named Granin coined the term, his plans were rejected in the USSR so he started to send his research to the US, to Dr Huey Emmerich, Hal’s father._

“Wasn’t he able to finish sending the information? Did they stop him?”

_He was killed, but had the chance to send off the last of the work, it never reached Emmerich._

“Let me guess,” she said heavily. “You know this because…?”

_I intercepted the messages._

“Of course you did.”

_And gave them to the CIA._

“And Granin?”

_I didn’t kill him, if that’s what you’re asking._

“Why didn’t you give the information the Russians?”

_Not in my best interests at the time. The Americans had to believe I was still on their side, after all I was a long term investment for them, far away from home and easy to lose track of, or to have turn on you. I was a double agent, but I didn’t want anyone to figure out who for. Besides, I saw a future for these strange two legged tanks, and didn't see it in Russia, but if the Americans thought the Russians were building one..._

"I see, you took advantage of the arms race. Were you loyal to the Americans then?”

_I was loyal to an American. Does that count? Of course thinking of it now giving the plans to the US backfired. My American had his hands full with proto-Metal Gears for some time to come, but he eventually got his own and... Well. Solid Snake never knew how much like his father he was. Turns out Metal Gear killing runs in the family._

“You thought of Big Boss as his father then? He didn’t.”

_It was a subject of disagreement. Eva and I felt one way, he the other. For us, he was the father._

“What did that make you?”

_I wasn’t related to any of them._ He laughed. _But I suppose I was an uncle by association_ _—_ _through The Boss maybe?_

"The Boss? She… was that legendary soldier who was supposed to have betrayed the US right? She trained Big Boss?”

_Correct._

“How is she connected to Snake and Liquid and Solidus?”

_She’s not. Not directly. Big Boss was the last to be trained by her and became known as The Last Son of The Boss._

“So?”

_He wasn't. I was her son. Her real son._

“Y-you!?”

_Ironic isn’t it? The True Patriot and her unpatriotic son._

"I didn't think you knew your parents?"

_She and I knew each other for about three weeks. I never did find out if she knew who I was._

“… So you and Big Boss weren’t related, but because of her—?”

_Brothers, but not in blood, so he once said. He felt it in a way I never could. I was never seen as her son, how could I play the part of his brother?_

“What did you want to be?”

He remained silent for a long while then asked: _Are we climbing that?_

 

‘That’ was something between a slag heap and a small, craggy, mountainous hill. A track wound its way up the ragged slopes and either side of it the land was torn up and rough, the hill looked unfriendly, but easier going than the scars around it.

_There was a battle here? Glad I wasn't here for that fight._

Sunny didn’t answer, she didn’t need to, as they drew closer the remains of conflict could be seen in shell craters, half washed out tank tracks and the twisted remains of anything left behind. It was all old; the front line had been pushed back further since this early battle. The Wildcat paused alongside one of very few Metal Gear that scattered the terrain: A REX, its rail-gun still pointing skywards, its neck broken by some heavy impact.

_Nuclear capability was retained?_ Ocelot asked, noting the rail-gun curiously.

“It’s the official definition of a Metal Gear,” she shrugged. “A nuclear equipped bipedal tank. RAYs are the exception to the rule. Most don’t have nukes, but they could do.”

_RAY is the only exception?_

“Yes. Well, unless you include Hal’s little spying robots. You’re not equipped for it now either, your cannon mounts are interchangeable though, and can be exchanged for a launch platform, but it won’t be. You had your hands on a nuke once before, I don’t think anyone’s going to let you get that close again. Besides, it’s not exactly anyone’s primary option and the political fallout of even considering it…” Sunny froze, an image flashed across her vision, a wide canopy of cool northern forests, a howling in her ears and a mushroom cloud kissing the livid skies. She shook her head and looked around wildly, remembering where she was. “You saw that?”

_I was standing next to the man who fired it._

“I... H-how could you!?”

_I tried to stop him you know! At the time it must have felt wrong._

“A-and now?”

_If I had the option again, knowing everything that was going to happen?_

“Yes?”

_I wouldn't try to stop him firing it. I’d push him out the helicopter first. Even if it cost me._

“To save those people?”

_So The Boss didn’t get blamed. So Snake didn’t have to kill her. I didn’t know the ramifications of that mission. Thought it was so unimportant, just one dead woman, what could it hurt?_ There was a bitter tone to his voice and when he fell silent Sunny wasn't sure how to respond. The image of the mushroom cloud rising into the sky seemed ingrained on the backs of her eyeballs, and wondered how far through time the fall out of that one blast had spread.

 

Down in the convoy all eyes scoured the terrain and Sunny shook herself and turned her focus to the job at hand. She looked ahead and scanned their path, even the cross-hairs on the HUD were sliding back and forth as Ocelot searched the area for threats. As they were on one of few paths wide enough for a convoy of this size, the risk of traps, even an ambush was high and everyone was on high alert.

 

The road was rocky and kicked up this way and rucked up that way. A small semi-permanent camp at the base of the hill challenged them at a distance but let them pass, the road up the hills had been swept for landmines two days ago, patrolled regularly since, but the other side was a mystery. A patrol had vanished that morning with the only radio contact garbled and the base was bristling in response. They were instructed to be careful with their approach and to report suspicious activity. The road by the camp had been strewn with gravel and sand, but the moment they stepped onto the hill the Wildcat growled as his foot slipped back in mud. The engines in the other vehicles whined and with a flick of his tail the Metal Gear dropped down to all fours and overtook the convoy, striding to the head of the line. They were called back and Sunny asked for permission to go ahead and scout out the way. As part of the Wildcat’s design specs, it was allowed. Ocelot snorted and stepped aside off the road. The slick mud from the well travelled road dragged him back one step for every two he took, but the ground either side of the road wasn't as well trodden.

“Be careful, the road was swept, but the hill…” she glanced around nervously. “I don’t think a land mine would do a lot of damage, but if there's anti-tank mines around the sides of the road... and you’re still dealing with that pressure issue remember.” She tapped the damage display as he leapt up a pile of shale to firmer ground, a cautionary lit up on the right leg as he landed, but vanished again as he straightened up.

 

As the convoy slipped its way up the track the Wildcat found its own path up the rocks. Those down in the other vehicles looked on enviously as the Metal Gear did what it and its ancestors had been built to do and put its long legs to use on the rough terrain; going where they couldn’t. The Wildcat was making good progress. The shale was too frail to slide away under the machine’s feet, and the crack of stone intermittently cut through the background sound of crunching gravel. The smaller rocks and loose earth shovelled aside to cut the road into the undulating land suddenly gave way to hard earth, steep but firm, rain water having run sheer off of it, the Wildcat was able to dig in its claws and climb easily. The convoy was going around a curve in the road as they reached the crest of the hill. The soldiers had their backs to the Metal Gear and so no one saw it crouch down and keep below the crest of the hill. Knees stuck out without grace and chest wedged against the earth the Wildcat flattened itself as best it could and consulted its pilot.

 

_I want to go down there._

“No!”

_They’re going to turn that corner in less than a minute and run straight into them._

“We c-can’t just go running d-down there without back up.”

_We can handle this for as long as it'll take them to get here, and it'll take the heat off them._

"We can't handle this."

_I think you forget what I am._

“You’re mad and s-suicidal that’s what yo-ou are.”

_You have no faith in me._

“S-surprise. I need to call this in."

Ocelot studied his navigation systems, the friendly markers of the convoy was nearly there and looking at the movement below them the arrival was anticipated. Large guns were turned on the road.

_No time. We have to do something now._

 

The Wildcat moved its head and from their vantage point they could see what the troops below them couldn’t: the lead vehicle creeping its way towards the enemy. They fought for control of the Wildcat, Sunny with one hand reaching for the radio, and one hand on the steering. The Metal Gear shivered violently as Sunny wrenched the controls around and Ocelot resisted. She snatched up the radio. There was an increasing whine from the computer banks as the two strong commands confused the system.

“F-fine give yourself a migraine!” she hissed and called in: "Commander—!"

Ocelot tried a different tactic, humping his shoulders suddenly to rattle her off the controls. It worked and she lost her grip and fumbled the radio as the commander answered. At the sudden loss of resistance the Metal Gear promptly heaved upright and forwards a step, making it quickly crouch back down again did nothing, it was too late, a single step had moved the machine well into sight and the movement had caught the attention of the soldiers below. Ocelot swore at the sound of mobilising soldiers yelling at each other and the HUD blossomed on the cockpit windows, highlighting opponents, informing Sunny on as much as the system knew. The cross hairs in green darted around, selecting its first target with as much relish as a screen could express. She snatched up the radio again to the sound of her commanding officer's confused demands for an answer.

 

Their obvious target, and the one that posed them the greatest threat, was turning its cannon towards them. The Wildcat locked on and almost instantly a warning appeared on the HUD: UNAUTHORISED FIRING ACTION. Ocelot howled in anger and the warning flashed.

"Commander, there's an enemy unit—"

_Fire!_  
Her hand twitched and she looked up.  
“Run!” she screamed. “If t-that h-hits—”

_THEN FIRE!  
_ She flinched and flicked the cover off the red button on the controls, thumb hovering over it. She was still dragging the controls sideways, feeling the Metal Gear leaning, trying to obey and resist all at once. He snarled and tucking in her chin she pressed the button. There was a whooshing sound and her stomach was left behind as the Wildcat jumped sideways, narrowly missing the retaliatory fire from the enemy tank. Their own people came around the corner in time to see the missiles strike the tank's tracks. It was pushed upwards by the blast, rocking up onto one set of tracks before crashing back down, slumping, cannon nudging the ground as it sank into the craters left behind. Smaller artillery, not as dangerous as the shells from the tank but still a risk shot towards them. Support fire finally came from those coming up the road.

 

Ocelot growled. _If you must keep your eyes shut, at least fire when I tell you to! Now!_

The two trucks circling around with their guns trained on the Metal Gear’s Achilles actuators turned their weapons on the missiles, but it was too little too late, and they went up in smoke and flames. Shrapnel rattled against the Metal Gear’s armour. Sunny opened her eyes in time to see the tank trying to fight back. It was emerging through the smoke—no they were running towards it. Sunny gaped blankly at the approaching tank and the next second they were upon it. They were so close she could see someone throw themselves bodily out of the hatch. A second head appeared less than a second after the first man's feet were out of the way but then the Wildcat’s wedge shaped jaws were thrust under the tank and pushing inwards. The two tanks grated against each other, but the smaller conventional machine slowly slipped up the wedge and tipped further and further onto its side, until the Wildcat opened its jaws and finally tipped it right back and over onto its top. Just as the tank crashed over the Wildcat lurched sideways to the tune of an ear splitting boom and Sunny looked wildly at the screens for the source of the issue. Cautions were flashing up now, and not going away again this time. Then she saw it, left hand side: two terrified and dusty faces peering up at them from under helmets and in front of them the source of the impact. It was a huge weapon by human standards.

 

The Wildcat snarled and threw its weight right and lashed out with its left leg in an otherwise classic GEKKO manoeuver. The small quick GEKKO had long dangerous spurs with which to lash out with, but in this life Ocelot did not need such things. The Howitzer and its operators were kicked aside along with a hefty clod of earth and the Wildcat righted itself. The troops had spread out among the confusion, and those surviving the Metal Gear's attack and the follow up from the convoy were soon rounded up. Quiet and dust started to settle as guns were trained on captives and swept over the surroundings for other survivors. With the threat neutralised the Metal Gear reared and bellowed skywards, metallic and saurian, those at its feet that could clamped their hands over their ears, and those hiding on the hill hoping not to be seen quaked appropriately. Down at the foot of the hill soldiers looked around in concern. Sunny just buried her face in her hands.

 

The camp was under their command, the few captives being hauled back down the hill to the camp for detainment, those left behind were waiting for the return of the soldiers and personnel carriers. A few minor injuries were being taken care off, the worst was one unfortunate with a lump of shrapnel in his arm, he’d been lucky however, and painful as it was no great damage had been done. He too had been taken down to the camp for treatment and recuperation, he couldn’t hold his gun, let alone fire it. The road had been a mess of twisted metal left over from the attack and blocked by the tank. The Wildcat’s sudden attack had given them the upper hand before the battle, now its huge strength helped clear the way in minutes. Only the stricken tank refused to give up without a fight, lodged into the earth on its back it took some work to roll it back onto its ripped tracks and shove it off the road down the slope, the remains of its crew had survived, bruised and concussed but none the less alive. Afterwards it was apparent that the Wildcat had not come away unscathed. A thin lilac tinted line ran down from under its knee cap and smelt bitter and sickly on approach. A tear in the boots around the ankle was already being knitted together by the machine’s industrious little nanobots. The internal damage, not apparently critical as it was still walking around, was probably being fixed too. The unit’s engineers kept a close eye on the leak none the less, since Sunny was nowhere to be seen. She’d made her escape early on, taking her chances and sneaking off down the slope towards the resting place of the tank. It was deserted and stank of diesel. Sunny maybe should have been more afraid of the surroundings than she was, but she trusted the Wildcat’s monitoring systems, if not the AI. She knew it would pick up on the slightest hint of danger and trusted it would let her know, besides that, the trek down here may have taken her a few minutes over the rough ground but it was barely two strides for the huge robot.

 

Sunny shivered and stood up to peer up the incline. The Wildcat’s head and shoulders were just visible. Sunny was not in active communication with him but the sneering head still turned instantly to look at her. Sunlight glinted off its fangs and blinded her so she ducked down again, wondering who was supervising who and just how carefully he was watching her.

 

There was no denying its approach, the damped whine from the hydraulics, the gasp of the rams and the crunch of the stone under its feet. Sunny didn’t react until his shadow fell over her, only then did she look up.

“I can smell it. The leak.”

_It’s just residue._

“Are you sure?”

_I wouldn’t be walking around if my hydraulics were shot._

“True,” she looked away again.

_You weren’t bad._

“I was awful right?

_You’re not exactly an experienced soldier, I didn't expect a miracle._

“When you were my age—”

_Don’t._

She sighed. “Are you keeping an eye on me?”

_Hmn?_

“Are you?”

_Not particularly. Not any more than I should considering our relationship._

“I was wondering if Hal had said anything to you.”

_He implied that he’d be after my guts, such as they are, if anything happened to you, but I have no interest in watching your every move._

“You were really impressive, I didn’t expect us to come away alive, charging down there like that."

_They weren't equipped to deal with me, they thought they were, but they weren’t._

"I want to be able to help you. Maybe you wouldn’t be damaged now if I'd been on the ball. I think you were right to do what you did, there wasn't much time to discuss things with the commander.”

_He just spent the last ten minutes ripping into me about that._

“What? He did?”

_Told me I should have waited for you to call it in. Like you were trying to do._

Sunny grimaced. "I can't believe I dropped the radio."

_Talking of dropping things... One of the Balam men talked._

"O-oh...?"

_They were waiting for us._

"Sure—"

_No. Us, Sunny._

"But why?"

_That I don't know. Apparently he didn't either._

"But, as you s-said, they weren't equipped to deal with us."

_Not beyond that tank. No._

They both stared at the remains of the tank.

"So..."

_So go back up to the others, it's not safe down here. They've decided to stop for a meal now thanks to the delay. I'll catch up later._

“You’re not coming back up?”

_I have no interest in watching others eat. I’ll be in sight._

Sunny stood, smiling, thinking that wasn’t saying much. She returned to the vehicles, slipping over the rough ground. _Oh and Sunny, weather is coming in: sounds like it’s going to be a really pleasant evening._

 

“I’d hate to know your idea of unpleasant.” Sunny groaned as the Wildcat swayed in the strong wind.

_I was being sarcastic._

“How am I supposed to know with you, you just—ughk!”

The Wildcat turned to stare down the weather. _You could go in one of the trucks?_

“N-no, I’ll get used to it.”

_Sunny, look. Smoke._ Sunny looked up and into the distance and yes there on the horizon, pillars of smoke rising towards the murky sky, wisps being pulled this way and that by the wind. _One thing after another._


	17. Woodsmoke

“ _When I discover who I am, I’ll be free._ ”

—

Ralph Ellison

 

_It turned over and over in their hands, left crumbs of doubt on their fingers; wood smoke clung to the lump, masking the possible scent of rot. Was it bad? They lifted it gingerly to their mouth and their lips felt too sensitive against the dry meat, still sore from chewing upon their own doubts. Another deep breath: smoke, leaf litter, blood, sweat, the taste of gunmetal, they gasped and sunk their teeth into the meat, sinking themselves into the fleeting sensation of that body being within reach again, of understanding, of knowing who they were, who they were meant to be, wanted to be. The memory of his fear filled their nostrils and they slumped back against the wall, rolling the flesh over their tongue, eyes closed. It still tasted good, fresh enough, for a moment they thought of the animal it belonged to, the man that had taken it down, calloused hands pinning it down so familiarly, knife flashing… They swallowed harshly, too soon, looked up into a pale face, the lump of flesh caught in their throat—_

 

Sunny woke up coughing and flung herself at the side of her cot as a dry retch wracked her, a voice from somewhere nearby asked if she was alright and she spluttered a “Yes!” before collapsing back onto her thin pillow, clinging to the wisps of the dream. All she could remember was a sense of the cannibalistic and the figure of a woman looking down at her, her appearance in the dream had made her throat close up with panic.  
“Weird…” Then wondering if it was even her dream: “Ugh, I’m not asking.”

 

For most of the soldiers the placement was an active one. While the others around them were always being sent to posts or taking over from the previous patrol or doing something productive, she and Ocelot got ready, only to be stood down, time and again. The Metal Gear strained to pick up energy from the weak sunlight, looking like a strange beetle with its solar panels—normally under its armour—stretched out along its back like a black shimmering carapace. This behaviour did little more than trickle charge the machine’s batteries. When the light grew too dim, the Wildcat would fold away its solar panels and go with Sunny to haunt the outer edges of the occupied village. They drilled themselves into a stupor, in which their commander was willing to let them wait until they were required. Unsure how to handle them, it was to his relief that they pushed themselves and kept themselves occupied. He could claim their efforts as being his idea if he encouraged them enough, and reinforced them as required. When not with Ocelot, Sunny was caught up with the other soldiers, trying to pick up skills she’d not been taught at the Research Centre. The Wildcat was left idle. Ocelot made weak jokes about the last time he was left idle and the devil making use of his hands, but he was obviously not really feeling as jovial as he attempted to make out, recent events had him restless and his mind was occupied even when his body was not.

 

A short time after they arrived Sunny had been awoken in the dark of the night by a sudden thrill of excitement. She lay still, listening to some distant commotion. The sensation passed and was replaced by an equally odd sense of anticipation, that lingered even as she fell back to sleep. The following morning the Wildcat had moved from its designated resting spot and was 'asleep' near one of the few intact buildings on the very edge of the village. He didn’t mention anything when they were sent to aid a patrol that day, but the moment they returned to base he resumed his place watching the building. He’d been in a fine if jittery mood during the patrol, a positive change from his recent glum attitude, but Sunny didn't feel comfortable asking why. By evening his mood had turned gloomy again, eventually turning his back on the building only growling about amateurs and time wasted.

 

Sunny was concerned, not just for the goings on in the distant building with its muffled noises, but for Ocelot’s state of mind. He’d spoken rarely since the ambush on the hill, and when he did it was rarely anything deeper than a joke or criticism of the people around him. He seemed frustrated and while he'd never made a great attempt to interact with those around them, now he positively shunned company. She suspected he was finally used to his new body and the novelty of his new strength had worn off, replaced by discomfort at best, repulsion at worst. She considered enticing him to spend more time conversing with her on his home ground, within the virtual realm of his mind. That was where he could re-establish himself as a human being, but she questioned the benefits of this, and wondered if it wouldn’t just make things harder for him over the long term. Sunny kept her questions and ideas to herself, expecting her advice and thoughts to go unappreciated. She was still nervous of him and didn't want to face the brunt of his bad mood. His mood, coupled with last night’s dark and visceral dream, reignited her fears about Ocelot's mental state, and of being his companion.

 

Sunny tried writing home; trying to put into words her concerns to her uncle. It wasn’t progressing rapidly. Today, sitting outside on a discarded wooden pallet, she told herself that watching the man a short distance away was merely a way of occupying her eyes as she considered her words, and he was not in fact a humorous distraction from the inevitable deliverance of yet more worrying news to an already concerned guardian. The man was spinning a handgun about his finger, or attempting to at least. More often than not he dropped the weapon, threw it at himself or just hit himself on the hand. The open space in the village was large enough for the Wildcat to enter without concern of the helicopters already taking up residence there, and the Metal Gear had been standing unobtrusively lost in its own thoughts long before the soldier had shown up. Now its gaze was fixed on the man and it was no doubt having a negative effect on his performance. It was spiteful, staring at him like that, but Sunny was still too afraid of invoking his wrath to speak up and ducked her head and focused on her letter.

 

She was forced to look up from her work again however when the Wildcat stepped closer to the wannabe gunslinger who promptly stopped what he was doing and stood up from his seat and backed away. With a sudden surge of movement the machine darted its head downwards and lashed out with one manipulator arm. The soldier had frozen the moment the Metal Gear had moved, eyes staring like a fear-mad rabbit. The gun was flicked out of his hand and caught in the grip of the three thin fingers and was span carelessly a few times. Sunny stood up but then the gun was handed back to the young man and Ocelot rumbled: "That's not how you do it. I'll show you..." Her hunched shoulders dropped and the soldier took the gun hesitantly, nodding.  
“But you know--” Ocelot cut himself off, as just then the Metal Gear straightened up, head turned and listening intently.

_Engines._

The Wildcat bellowed and Sunny clamped her hands over her ears again. When it fell silent she almost didn’t hear the roar from outside the village, it had barely died away when the sirens went off. The gun vanished into its holster and Sunny sprinted for the Wildcat as it leant down to meet her.

 

_Your heartbeat is up, and your breathing—anxious? About me?_

“You shouldn’t read me like that.”

_I can’t help it, it’s my job, it’s what I do._

“I-I just had some weird dreams last night.”

_Dreams?_ Now he was starting to sound cautious.

“Mmn, but, we shouldn’t talk about it now.”

_It’s still a distance away, bringing rain with it by the looks of things… We have time_.

“It's not really... Well. This is… Going to sound weird but… You never ate anyone did you?”

_What!?_

“Forget it.”

_No, no I never have, not knowingly anyway, though I have had some pretty suspect meals so you never know._ The humour fell away from his voice. _What sort of dream was this?_

“It was confusing, I kept thinking of a man, but I was eating something... It was meat but… S-smoky like from a barbecue. Then a woman appeared, and I choked… It was disjointed, one moment I felt it was food in my grasp the next my hands were on him… I don’t know,” she shook her head. “I don’t know where it came from.”

… _Peculiar._

“Is that all you have to say?” She pushed for some admission of guilt.

_Yes. We’re needed._

 

Then the rain hit. The mist rose from the ground and off the Metal Gear's armour. The Wildcat crouched and turned away along the side of the rise between them and the approaching enemy. They passed behind the two mobile gun systems as they trundled forwards and stepped through the grimacing foot soldiers that hurried out of the way. Red marks slowly swung around on the HUD as the radar picked up on the approaching troops. One indicator, large enough to stand out, stood behind the rest of the marks, and that was their goal.

“How far around are we going?”

_Out of the rail-gun's current trajectory, and far enough round that it can’t turn easily._

“By the time we’re in position it’ll be on top of the others! We should have moved sooner…”

_We don’t have to be that close._

“What are you planning?”

_The shells are our biggest threat, just one of those could take us down, so the target isn’t the REX. It’s the rail gun._

“Then the radome, right?”

_Of course._ He chuckled. _If given the option. I’ve never forgotten how great that weakness was, I must ask Dr Emmerich about that._

“Oh I can answer that one.”

_Oh?_

“Character flaw.”

_Come again?_

“He wanted REX to have character flaws.”

_...Has anyone ever told your uncle that he’s a little strange?_

Sunny laughed as she took the Wildcat farther away from their backup. “But modern REX have more protected radars, you’ll have a harder time with it.”

_I’m not one man with a grenade launcher, I have the finest targeting system in the world, and you as my right hand._

“All things considered, I’d prefer to be your left.”

_All things?  
_ “Oh gross!”  
He laughed _. You sound like you’re in high spirits._

"Must be catching."

_Yes... It's good to be doing something. I hope you're ready for this._

"Me too."

 

The broad shoulders of the enemy REX came into view and the Wildcat stopped and turned to offer a smaller target for retaliation. Sunny flicked up the cage of the missile trigger. The cross hairs slowly dropped on the HUD. She felt herself holding her breath and forced herself to continue, taking a deep shivering breath. The cross hairs brightly flashed, flared and constricted down onto the bulbous base of the rail gun, Ocelot wasn’t bothered about the highly shielded electrical components—the rail gun’s obvious weakness, if you could destroy that it wouldn’t be able to fire, if you could destroy it—the huge bearings where it joined to the Metal Gear’s shoulder were an easier if less obvious target and an almost hopeless strike for a handheld weapon.

“Shouldn’t we disable it?”

_No need. We just need to stop them from being able to move it. Look, it’s pointing downwards, it knows we’re here._

“You’re right! It’s turning!”

 

A light sensation of pressure in her hand and Sunny nodded, and fired. The rain cleared the smoke trails quickly. The Wildcat turned and loped further around and changed position. The REX stumbled sideways from the impact then righted itself, its beak turning on its short neck to follow the Wildcat's movements. The lumbering old machine had black stripes zigzagging up its legs, but even from her place Sunny could see the paint was in poor condition and the machine covered in dents and gouges that could have put the lighter Wildcat in the hangers for weeks. It was an old battle axe. Sunny swallowed nervously. The rail gun was not disabled, though its movements were jerky as it tracked the Wildcat and the bearings could give up at any moment. That at least was in their favour.

 

_Again_.

The cross hairs blipped, confirming Ocelot’s target, Sunny fired.

_Again, quickly!_

The REX lunged sideways, its machine gun took out the first missile launched but the second arched over it and exploded into its shoulder, the gun continued to track for a moment longer, then juddered to a halt.

“It worked!” But it also fired. She felt Ocelot tense up as they pulled to the right to escape the impact. The gun had been aimed too low and the shell hit the ground by the Wildcat's feet. Mud and stones shot into the air and rained down onto the Metal Gear’s legs as it pulled away. They kept moving, the screen of dirt obscuring their view and hiding the REX.  
“Okay?”

_Okay_.

 

The REX had been drawn away from its support troops and charged them bellowing its war cry. Both pilot and Metal Gear instinctively made move towards it, as if to meet it head on, luring it closer the REX hit the slope and leant backwards slowing its decent. “Go towards its left.”

_What?_

“Trust me.”

_It’s heavier on the—_

“Trust me!” Ocelot followed her directions when she pushed him to his right, and he leapt for the radome side. Three long strides had them almost behind the REX and immediately Sunny’s plan became clear. The REX tried to turn after them and tipped, the heavier right hand side pulling it down in the mud. The REX flailed its stumpy arms and shot wildly but most of the bullets struck only glancing blows, if any at all. The Wildcat jumped and kicked out in front of it, strong legs more than enough to push the REX off what little balance it had left. It toppled as the Wildcat turned and landed back on its feet, only stumbling a little as it did so, the pressure in its limbs spiking dramatically. Though the ground slid under its weight it regained its balance, its long tail playing its part as the REX crashed into the ground.

 

The REX kicked pathetically, and the Wildcat leant down as far as it dared on the slope to bring his cannon into range. The onslaught cracked open the REX’s jaws and Sunny told him to damage it beyond repair. The pilot threw himself free as the Wildcat wedged open the cockpit. The human component didn't make three steps before it was grabbed by one manipulator arm and held aloft, forced to watch as the Metal Gear set about wrenching open the jaws of the old beast. Its self-defence systems had it writhing to get away it was no match for the newer machine and it soon lay still. The computers were crushed and twisted into scrap inside the vulnerable gape of its jaws. The Wildcat stood back and they inspected the downed Metal Gear and the damage to the surrounding land.

"What are we going to do with him?"

Ocelot made a noise of regret and Sunny realised it was too late for the pilot. The crumpled body was placed on the ground.

_Damn... Could have had information._

"On what? Why that ambush was for us?"

_Yes, maybe._

They both stared for a moment at the small figure in the mud then they turned away and trotted up the rise to where smoke and gunfire awaited them. _Ready?_

Sunny felt her skin crawl and tried to shove Ocelot's critical gaze away.

_You were less afraid of the REX. Because you couldn’t see the man inside it?_ Sunny frowned and hunched her shoulders. _I wouldn’t feel too bad about it,_ _that’s_ _fairly normal._

The first vehicle to see them was not a friendly; it also had its hands full, which made it an easy target, the Wildcat leapt on it without so much as a snarl.  
With the REX fallen and the Wildcat ready to throw itself into the fray the battle was soon over, the survivors retreating into the smoke and rain.

 

“Ocelot?”

_Hmn?_

“Wait a moment, look.”

She didn’t have to point or direct him, it was gratifying to know that he saw exactly what she pointed out.

"Maybe we'll get that information after all."

The soldier was slowly digging his way out from under the confused machinery. He staggered to his feet, holding his side and zigzagged away through the debris, glancing fearfully up at the Metal Gear as if it hadn't seen him. The cross-hairs slowly came down the screen until they locked on, just for a moment, then Ocelot stopped aiming. The Metal Gear stooped over the terrified soldier and, more carefully this time, picked him up.

 

The Wildcat swung around too fast and Sunny grit her teeth as too much blood tried to go to her head for a moment, then it slowed and they were returning to the village. Sunny slumped back, putting her hand over her mouth and nose, letting Ocelot take them both back to base as she started to feel ill. The soldier in their grasp had passed out but Ocelot said he was still alive. Sunny stared out at him, him who's she'd pointed out and wondered aloud if he might be a source of information. She shivered thinking of the building on the edge of town that had so caught Ocelot's attention, that she was taking their prisoner to.

 

Smoke tainted her mouth. She was reminded her of her dream and the strange urge to devour and the creeping feeling that she no longer knew who she was. Her stomach turned.


	18. Memories

“ _Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names._ ”

\--

John F. Kennedy

 

 

A dark bony hand, twisted up with bulging veins and knuckles, traced its fingers over the photos. Front, left hand and right hand sides of the weapon system. The spitting image of the machine in the plans in his desk but more tangible, more real, more alive. There were others too, blurry with distance, showing off the machine in the sunlight. The hand tapped one of them: the huge machine, mid sweep of its long tail, towering over a small and indistinct figure.

"This is pretty good..."

"Sir?"

The old man shook himself.

"Keep a close eye on them." He said. "Whatever happens, he must be brought back to us. If they need help give it to them, but until we know where he stands, don't give yourselves away."

"Very good sir. Sir...?"

"Yes?"

"If the pilot gets in the way, what do we do?"

He idly mixed the photos up while he thought.

"That would depend on Shalashaska's feelings about her." He tossed the pile of photos back onto the desk. "Don't take those lightly, if he's invested his time in her there's a reason for it, and he won't want outsiders interfering."

"I understand sir."

 

\---

 

The weather had turned colder but the rain left and remained absent, likewise Jude West also remained absent. Hal had been ordered away from his own research in inter-Metal Gear communication and security and instead instructed to take over where West had left off on the Wildcat. The company’s official stance was that Doctor Jude West was still on temporary suspension, the rumours around his disappearance were subsiding and general belief was that he would return after Christmas. Hal had stood looking down at the cluttered desk, with its overflowing in-tray, lack of pens and pencils and stapler, no doubt hidden away in someone else's desk by now. Additionally to the neglected paperwork there was an old polystyrene box from the canteen—Hal wasted no time in throwing that away, without looking inside—a long out of date newspaper, classic car magazine and a heavy photo frame being used as a makeshift paperweight. Hal collapsed into the chair, shifted uneasily in the hollow left by the buttocks of another man and started to sort through the mess, sending the personal belongings to rest in the bottom drawer. From the depths of his memory a far less world weary Hal Emmerich tapped his foot compulsively against the floor and stared from his desk around the empty research laboratory. Only a short time ago he and his companions had worked so industriously here, even happily. Then FoxHound had come and they'd spent their time shivering at their desks, wondering who would vanish next, then they stopped talking about it and then, when it was just him... Jumping in fear at that terrible noise in the corridor…

 

Hal flinched and sat up. He looked around grounding himself in the well-populated office. Repeating to himself under his breath: “It’s okay: that’s over now, it won’t happen again, it’s over now. Jude is on suspension, he’s not been vanished. He’s on suspension.” Despite his reassurances his hand shook has he put away the photo of the woman with the smiling face.

 

When the login screen appeared at just the shake of the mouse, Hal realised the computer had been left merely sleeping by the last user. West's username still sat rosily on the screen patiently waiting West’s return, and only the password entry remained vacant. A long slumbering animal shivered awake inside Hal. He fumbled a stump of a pencil from the desk and scribbled down the username and set to work. It was with almost embarrassing ease that he figured out West’s password. The classic cars magazine was well thumbed through, but the dog eared pages of Louses had clued him off. It barely soothed the antsy beast and he sat tapping the desk with his fingers. There was a doubt in the back of his mind; ever since West had been removed from site and the investigation into the saboteur had turned up nothing he'd been struggling with this idea. The obvious answer, one that BBR would never want to admit to, was that West himself had been behind the AI switch. Presumably he didn't do it alone, but he was the one with the best access to the Wildcat. Hal set around pushing deeper into the system. West had been an amateur subversive but his browser history, while busy with inconsequential searches, was thankfully clear—thankfully from West’s view, unhelpful from Hal’s—he’d had that sense at least, but no one entirely innocent keeps a password protected file named ‘My Cats’ in his My Pictures folder. The cats would have been fairly innocent, if Hal hadn’t once innocently introduced cat hairs into West's company and set off West's allergies; bets had been taken on how long his sneezing fit would last. The folder had been created shortly before the Wildcat started development and Hal shook his head and copied it off for viewing later.

 

\---

 

“That long?”

“I’m afraid so, we’re simply not ready to go forward with the production line.”

Mr Lewis leant back and pinched the bridge of his nose until the young man of almost uniform colour who stood opposite him, squirmed with guilt he hadn’t realised he had and looked sideways at Hal for help. Hal just tilted his head until the light shone blindingly off his glasses, hidden behind the gleam his eyes roved over the desk, the animal still hungry.

“The readings look good, and we’re getting increasing pressure to move ahead, I need something better than ‘we’re simply not ready’. Why can’t we move forwards with this?”

“The over-stressing in its legs hasn’t been solved, until it returns to base and the mods can be installed then we quite simply can’t promise they won’t suffer catastrophic failure.”

Hal nodded in agreement and stopped nonchalantly reading the half of an email visible on screen. “The Wildcat’s agility has outdone all expectations but its hips cannot sustain that sort of work. We know what the issue is and a modification has been developed and sent off for casting. I have already booked it in for the mod on its return.” The light finally cleared his spectacles, his eyes were narrowed. “But besides that, it has simply not been in service long enough to tell.”

“Yes Doctor, I am aware you were against the Wildcat’s early deployment.”

“I still am, sir.”

“You don’t believe it is sound, and yet the reports have been glowing. You do know that the REX causing so much trouble in the Wildcat’s deployment zone has been neutralised?”

“I do know that, and I know the Metal Gear has been working admirably, that the stability of the MB-AI has been reliable to date—a length of time without precedent for a Resurrected AI. I am very glad Dr West’s predictions have so far been proven correct, however…” he pushed his wayward glasses back up his nose. “However the reports also state that together, Metal Gear and pilot, train almost constantly when not required, I know Sunny would not underestimate his limitations, given the correct data—”

“Only time and exposure to each other will strengthen their imprint to the level desired.” Interjected the colourless man, who immediately looked away from Hal’s scowl.

Mr Lewis nodded and said crisply: “You doubted their ability to work together, and yet they seem unexpectedly amiable. All things considered.”

Hal blinked at the dislike in Mr Lewis' tone. “I know that sir, and it’s true, their… Relationship is far more complex than it was ever designed to be. On one level they are required to constantly block each other out, but on another they must let the other in so that they may work with the minimal amount of time lag between instruction and execution, they appear to be coping well and even thriving, as fair as their partnership goes. I am not happy about it, but I suppose it was inevitable, they would have to develop a friendly relationship, the other option isn't tenable. Still... I believe that as a conscious being Ocelot will not allow Sunny close enough for them to work effectively long term...” he trailed off, jaw working silently.

“Go on…”

“And yet… Being conscious… He might not have to… But, sir, I have had previous experience with the man, he has a… tendency to flirt with trouble. While I trust Sunny not to drive the Wildcat to that extent, Ocelot is another matter entirely, and I don't know if he can be expected to treat his chassis with consideration of its limitations.”

“You honestly think such a well-honed soldier would make a mistake like that?” Mr Lewis leant forwards with a half smile. “I would have thought otherwise.”

“He was self-destructive as a man, and may not yet fully understand that this is not a body that can be trained to extremes and left to heal as required. He has also not had long to adapt. Those two traits are not a good combination.”

 

Mr Lewis sat back in his chair with his fingers drumming the desk. His smile faded and he seemed to sink into his own thoughts. The two engineers in front of his desk fidgeted.

“So..." He said finally. "You still consider this thing to really be ‘Ocelot’ then?”

“I’m not sure that is—”

“I’m still not entirely convinced, but I believe it is close enough to the original to bare the same concerns, to carry the same guilt…  
“And Sunny, does she really not think so?”

“Sunny wishes to give him the benefit of the doubt until he proves himself one way or the other. His knowledge is extensive, and even I feel it would be hasty to throw that aside just yet.”

"That doesn't answer my question, Hal."

Hal swallowed. "Sunny wished to give him the benefit of the doubt until he is proven one way or the other. Either way she is... Unconvinced that a replica built with pre-existing memories, should be held responsible for the actions that made those memories initially."

"And you?"

"To an extent I agree with her. I don’t see the point in putting guilt on the shoulders of the Wildcat, though I tend to I suppose, but I also believe that the Wildcat is inherently dangerous because of the memories forming its AI. It might not be to blame for what happened, but it could go on to replicate those previous actions. We would be better of disposing of it as soon as possible, before it causes problems of its own."

"I must agree with you. Unfortunately we can not afford to reprogram the Wildcat from scratch and start over with a fresh pilot so for now, we must continue. Rest assured Doctor Emmerich, I have no intention of allowing the Wildcat AI a long term existence."

"That's good to hear."

 

\---

 

“Er… Hal?”

“Hmn?” He looked up from the graphs slowly inching their way across the screen, something a few days ago had had the Wildcat’s CPU running unusually high. It had quietened down just as rapidly a day later but the incident failed to match up to any of the reports sent in by their commanding officer. Indicating that Derek, the colourless man from Mr Lewis' office, should continue speaking with a loose flick of his hand, Hal scrolled back the graphs and froze the screen. He tapped his fingers on the mouse button indecisively before moving the cursor to the print button.

“You met him before?”

“Who?” He ignored the unhealthy groan of the printer and looked up at his direct subordinate.

“Ocelot? I mean I know you met him before, but you said you’d seen him hurt himself? I mean those weren’t you words but… Should we be really concerned?”

“Oh, that. No I don’t think so. You’ve heard of that book: The Darkness of Shadow Moses?”

“The Darkness of Shadow Moses: The Unofficial Truth!” he confirmed, “Yes! More than once, ah… To be honest it what made me want to get into Metal Gear studies in the first place. It was my favourite book as a kid.”

“You’re making me feel old, Derek.”

“Sorry, Hal. I was really impressed by you, still am, the way you rose to the challenge and aided Solid Snake, and stuck by him even when everyone was against you.”

Hal’s hands dropped to his knees, fingers messing with the loose material and picking at the seams. “Ah, I didn’t do much, Snake did the hard work, but thank you, not a lot of people believed in us.”

"I can't even imagine how you feel about this... If I were in your place I’d have inserted some kind of worm in his head already, daring to come back and insinuate himself with my little girl like that.”

“You’d probably be right to do so.”

“No, no you got it right, I have to keep reminding myself that we have him under control." He gestured to the remote override panel gathering dust on the other side of the room by the big windows overlooking the apron.

 

The system comprised of a dedicated computer and control panel. It was linked up to satellite and from there the Wildcat, monitoring its position in relation to the designated roaming area. Atop of the panel, under a metal cage was a big red button placed carefully where no one was likely to lean on it, was the last thing standing between them and an out of control Metal Gear. As long as a Metal Gear was linked up to the system it could be shut down by the system, and it would not reboot until the system was reset. It had been installed after the incident with the last MB-AI that had left so many dead, but was still used for all heavily modified machines being tested—a precautionary measure. A small amber light above it blinked at them, informing anyone paying attention that the Wildcat was very close to going into the red zone, which was only 40 miles away from where it was posted. Enter this zone and it would be forced into Manual Override, and it would sit there as animate as a rock until a pilot brought it back into the amber and woke it up again. If the Manual Override failed to kick in, or its pilot took it farther, then the thin black zone outside the red was supposed to initiate a total systems shut down, it would be instantaneous and would no doubt lead to corruption and possible memory loss. The Big Red Button on top, if pushed, caused instant destruction of the mainframe and thus, the Metal Gear itself.

 

“The Wildcat can’t escape us, and there is still a lot we can learn. Not to mention the social implications of all of this! We’ve basically brought someone back from the dead.”

“Ha, no one wants a race of Metal Gear wandering around with the minds of their loved ones trapped inside, we still don’t fully understand why Ocelot didn’t go mad, unless he did and no one noticed.” Hal snorted.

Derek grinned. “I wouldn’t be surprised if that were the truth, but I was thinking of… Something like Grey Fox…”

“No!” The heads of everyone present turned to look at them. “I will not be responsible for something like that, no one should be put through that.”

“I don’t mean that exactly!”

“And besides, we can’t make the computers small enough yet, the Wildcat’s mind might work more precisely and faster than the original Ocelot’s, I’ll warrant he didn’t used to be able to access memories as files, but his ‘brain’ is the size of a small room, and it needs to be to be able to work comparably to a human’s.”

“Ah, and once mobile phones were the size of large bricks, technology moves on,” he held up his hand. “But never mind that now, I came over here to ask a question.”

“Yes, my fault. Well ah... The book covered the drier parts in great detail, but the author missed some of the finer points, of course they had little to do with the situation at large so I won’t hold that against her. Indeed myself and a number of others are eternally grateful for that… Snake summed it up best I think, Ocelot’s choice of weaponry forced him into fairly close range with his opponents were were almost invariably younger than him. Reloading a revolver one bullet at a time is time consuming too.”  
“He liked it like that? The risk?”  
Hal grimaced. “Wouldn’t be surprised if he got off on it honestly. There was something else too: I had in my possession the Stealth-Camo under construction at the time, the pre-cursor to the Octo-Camo?”

“The stuff that let you go invisible?”

“More or less, yes, that’s it.” He finally persuaded his fingers to uncoil from his trouser legs, where they’d clamped down at the mention of Grey Fox. He wrapped his hands together on top of his work. “I was hiding, did that a lot back then, but some good came of it. This was..." he closed his eyes tightly and missed Derek's concerned expression. "This was just after Sniper Wolf's death. I don't know what set him off, why we sought out the same place, if it was for the same reasons I... Honestly hope not, but I was hoping to be alone and," he sighed. "I guess he did too. It was a maintenance tunnel, long and empty. At some point he'd set up targets..." Hal trailed off and Derek nudged him to continue.

"What happened? Did he find you?"

"No, no nothing like that. But I couldn't get past him to leave." He shook his head. "It sounds strange saying it out loud because it was so subtle, but he was... Off. His aim was off and eventually he gave up and left, but even that was strange. Any other time I'd seen him he'd been calm, even... Mellow? He seemed entirely in control of himself. If he was feeling any strong emotions about anything he rarely showed it, but he did then. I was... I wasn't in the best mood my self at the time, maybe that's why I only noticed in hindsight, but on the way out he was so distracted he tried to open the door with the wrong hand and hurt himself."

"Well you know, he'd just lost his arm, wouldn't be that strange for him to forget would it?"

"No... No but he..." Hal dragged a hand over his face. Remembering the smear of blood on the door, Ocelot slumping against the wall, squeezing the stump of his arm as if he'd wanted to make it hurt. His face had been screwed up with a familiar pain and he'd been damning Snake under his breath. Suddenly he'd turned from the wall, aimed and shot twice. The humanoid target had rocked in place, two holes in place of where it might have had eyes. Then Ocelot had left and Hal hadn't seen him again until the Tanker incident years later. Talking about now it seemed wrong. Ocelot had thought he'd been alone, whatever he'd been feeling that day had been private.

"You know what... Never mind."

"Huh?"

"I don't think I can put it into words anyway. Just trust me on this, Ocelot isn't always as collected as you might expect, he's... Well he's human."

"He was."

"...Yeah. Was."

"You don't seem convinced?"

"I don't profess to understand what makes us human, and him not, or if he is now but might not be in the future."

"I… Suppose."

"I'm sorry, I guess I didn't really answer your question."

"Well, it's interesting to know he feels things and we're not dealing with a, I don't know, psychopath or something."

"I hope not, but I don't think we're dealing with any kind of personality disorder, though I'm sure he has his issues."

"More than others maybe?" Hal stared at him. "Sorry, I'm not helping am I?"

 

\---

 

His microwaveable noodles, made the moment he’d come in the house, had long gone cold and sticky beside his computer. Quickly setting about finding his way into the password protected files, here at home he’d intended to take the easy way out, running a password cracker. LAN Man, thank the gods of the digital age. He’d wandered back with a cup of coffee and SAM Inside was gleefully telling him the file was unlocked already, that was a relief. The last time he’d encountered something more complex Snake had been put on hold for months before they had the evidence they needed to move on with that particular mission—very frustrating indeed. It wasn't like West would have had anything like that set up though. Hal sipped his drink and started to scroll through the files. They were named blandly: Summer Hols; New Kittens; Missing Cat Found. Upon investigation most of them proved to be very early drafts of the plans put forwards for the Wildcat project, Hal shook his head at Jude West’s strange sense of humour. New Kittens however, did contain something more out of the ordinary. Just a list of names, male and female, multiple nationalities and a phone number: DISP: 928-233-2818.

Hal noted it down, he could at least establish if it was still in operation. He suspected it was a disposable phone and if he got through to anyone, it wouldn’t be the person that number was a contact for here. Something about this list however, the fake file names, the number, it was all holding sweet smells in front of the old animal’s nose.

“I think we’ve found something!” He exclaimed to the empty house, then sighed. “Though I… Don’t know what, or who’ll take this further.”

 

The last document in the file was an unfinished e-mail draft. The contents included a time of contact, long passed, assurance the project was getting funding, the files had been backed up securely… But it was the last sentence, leading up to a comment never made, that made Hal’s blood run cold and heart beat all the faster to move his frozen blood.

It was a promise that they would come back, those that had gone missing in the after-years, whose claws were still sharp and ready in their founder's shadow.

 

Hal ran a hand over his face and rubbed his itching eyes.  
“They’re still active. They planned Ocelot’s return.” He sighed and expelled the words like a tired curse: “Otselotovaya Khvatka…”


	19. Missing Cat

“ _Reputation is an idle and most false imposition; oft got without merit, and lost without deserving_.”

\--

Shakespeare

 

 

“Meryl!? Yeah. Yeah it’s Hal. Yeah, sorry. Um... I need some information.”

 

Hal sat in a spreading pool of paper work. His laptop was sitting in pride of place in the centre by his knee. The papers were taking up half the living room. Stark logos stood out on some of the papers, an octopus, a wolf, a raven, a mantis and the haunting image of a skull with a snake coiled though its one open eye socket and grinning mouth. Others were DARPA, Arms Tech and affiliated. Some of the notes were hand written. Under each heading were lists and reports collected by Hal to aid in their missions, his and Snake’s missions. Hal had never been immaculately organised, but after their last mission together he’d finally given in to Snake’s silent looks of disapproval and had filed everything away carefully. A lot had been lost when he’d dropped unceremoniously back into civilian life, a supervised life: where that which was questionable, or not hidden away, was taken from him. Liquid Ocelot's Outer Heaven mother company had earned its own section in his filing system, with sub-folders as required. The Private Military Companies that came under the Outer Heaven umbrella had taken up most of the folders. The files on Liquid Ocelot's PMCs were incomplete however.

 

There was Werewolf, Praying Mantis, Raven Sword and Pieuvre Armement, and each of the files had page upon page of information. Much of it gathered by Snake in his activities in the field. Weapons, strategy, formation, training and general morale and attitude, even uniform. There was the official information from media packages, and the less public information that Hal had used to track them back to Outer Heaven in the first place. Hal had opened the smallest file with a tight stomach, knowing even before he got there what he’d find under Otselotovaya Khvatka: nothing. Nothing more than the average bystander could have found at least. A logo, a public statement and some photos taken from the news sites were all he had. Snake had never encountered Ocelot’s namesake PMC on the battlefield, and the imminent danger of the others pressing in on them had pushed the Russian company out to the edges of Hal’s radar until the fall of Outer Heaven. Then came the collapse of the war economy, Hal and Sunny had slipped through the cracks of the depressed nation and retained some semblance of freedom and in the mean time, Otselotovaya Khvatka had fallen off the map. For a long time Hal had hoped they were limited the soldiers Liquid Ocelot had kept on Outer Haven, that they'd been broken up by the death of their leader and faded into history with the other PMCs—but here they were again and Hal had nothing on them.

 

Instinct told him to rush to the net. Instinct told him that someone, somewhere, would know about the elusive Otselotovaya Khvatka, but he already felt like he’d pushed his luck with West’s files. He’d kept a very close eye on what software was on his computer and believed it was clean but…  
He drew his legs up and leant his head on his knees.  
It was 04:25am.  
A long time had passed since he’d last stayed up this late combing through his notes. He'd given up on his subject-specific papers around 11pm, after that he’d gone through all the rest. Then he’d tried to go to bed. Unable to sleep he’d waded back into his lake of paper and tried to glean something, anything, from what he had. Hal closed his itching eyes tightly, trying and failing to hate Ocelot even more. He couldn’t be behind this though, how could he be? How does anyone plan for something like this? To be brought back from the dead? Logically, after all this time, he couldn't believe Ocelot was an active player here, at least not this Ocelot. Liquid Ocelot maybe... How far back did the memories go? Fear was starting to take hold of him, if Otselotovaya Khvatka were behind Ocelot’s revival, even if Ocelot himself wasn't, they didn’t want him slave to BBR, or for that matter, Sunny.

 

He’d given up and called Meryl.

“You do know what time it is, don’t you, Hal?”

“Slightly earlier than it is here.” He replied and waited while she worked this out.

Eventually her voice, somewhat less sleep addled said: “What is it?”

“Sunny and I have been working on ah…" What? What possible reason do I have for needing this information? "Um... writing up everything that happened, kind of a book?

"An autobiography, Hal?"

"Something like that I guess. Um... I found out that I’m missing some information. It’s kind of important. Can you help?”

“Right now!?”  
“Please. I wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t important.”  
“Ugh. Sure.” There was a groggy male voice somewhere in the background and Meryl’s voice saying: “It’s Hal. I don’t know, something about information from back then.”

Back then.

No explanation needed.

“What do you need to know?”

“Do you have any information on the PMCs? The Outer Heaven ones?”

“Not on hand! But I could probably get some… What kind of book is this? Which PMC, all of them?”

“No, just one,” he babbled at her for a while about Raven Sword, while she yawned at him down the phone line. “…but I’ve got nothing but PR on Otselo—”

“Uuugh.”

“Huh?”

“I knew this was going to be about them.”

“You know something?”

“I was helping track them down after Outer Heaven went under."

"So they did survive?"

"Yeah... Hang on,” muffled rustling as she moved in bed and asked Johnny if he was still awake.  
  
“They were sporadically active after the fall of The Patriots. Their last stage appearance was during that big conflict that altered China’s borders. You remember that?”

“Yeah... Which side?” He moved the phone to his other ear and wedged it against his shoulder to grab his pen and paper.

“Who knows? They had air support they came and went…” she trailed off.

"Wait, you don't know whose side they were on? Aren't they still mercenaries?"

“Well... Maybe, maybe not. There are some strange stories about them, no one seems to be able to agree on who or what they are.”

“There are always strange stories coming off the battlefield, are these that unusual?”

  
When Meryl next spoke it was with sadness in her tone. “These are the sorts of stories Snake would have disapproved off: spirits, shadows, soldiers appearing among the ranks that no one could recognise but by the time they were noticed they were gone…”

“Let me guess? ‘No one left alive’ stories.”

“Sometimes.”

“No wonder they were given Ocelot’s name. That’s almost all I ever found out about him.”

“He wasn’t the kind of person to leave behind survivors.”

“He left you alive. He left enough people alive to tell stories. Ocelot wanted his reputation to run ahead of him, looks like these ocelots do too.”

“Well if they did it looks like it didn’t work.”

“Oh?”

“Money was tight but our guys were good, still we lost track of them after China. They vanished.”

“Extinct do you think?” Hal asked.

“Possibly… I hope so, we don’t need wildcards like that running around.”

“No side, just there for the fight, what kind of people do that?”

“I wonder.”

“So what were they doing in China?"

Meryl made a sudden squeaking noise as she sucked on her teeth. "That's what we wanted to know. Things always go missing in conflict but in this case it was a lot of hardware. At the time the Chinese were making good progress with MB-AIs, they were a lot more stable than ours, and an entire Metal Gear went missing."

"What!?"

"Turned up about a week later, some of the more valuable parts missing, but the AI was gone."

Hal swallowed. "So... You think someone was trying to build their own MB-AI?"

"Was. They must have given up by now, and we've not seen anything new and unusual come out of it."

"Given up... Yeah I guess so. Anything else go missing?"

Meryl thought for a while. "Nothing that anyone was admitting to, but a research and development site was 'accidentally' hit. The air strike was called off almost immediately, but some of the buildings were pretty badly damaged."

"But nothing came of it?"

"Not that I know of. 7 dead, umpteen injured, but nothing else. Look, I’ll get some solid information together for you and send it through tomorrow or as soon as, okay?”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Anything else?”

"No, thank you Meryl."

"So what's all this about?"

"It's like you said, kind of an autobiography, only... Bigger scope, like Nastasha did for Shadow Moses but for all of it."

"Ah what fun," she said dryly. "I'd like to read it when you're done—would like to know what you have to say about me."

Hal made himself laugh. "Sure, why not. Look, you're right, it's late. I need to go to bed now and I know you are in bed, so I’ll let you go now, hear back from you soon?”

“Huh? Yes bu—”

“Good night.” He hung up quickly and put down the unused pen. Stared at it then picked it up again and started writing down the scraps she’d given him.

 

He went to bed afterwards, but lay fully dressed on top of his bed covers. He was anticipating a crush of thoughts and emotions and when they came they hit like a ton of bricks, impossible to brace against. His head hit the pillow and the nightmare started, these days at least there was no one around to disturb if he was awake all night, not even Sunny. A second wash of concern clutched at him as he thought of the last member of his family, and the dangerous waters that rose around her even now. Hal curled up on himself. Had Otselotovaya Khvatka been behind the Wildcat as a whole? Had they been the ones to break through on the MB-AI issue? MB-AI's had fallen out of favour globally, if the Chinese had been on the verge of a break through before the boarder dispute, the financial backing might have been removed afterwards, and now the only remaining example of their work was in the hands of Liquid Ocelot's elites and they'd taken it to the next stage. So then, Otselotovaya Khvatka hadn't had the finances or the hand skills to build the Wildcat, so they'd implanted it into BBR for construction and now... There was no way they wouldn't want it back.

 

Hal rolled over and wrapped his arms around his pillows. The question was, did they build the Wildcat as a flagship for their forces, a weapon, with Ocelot's AI a symbol, nostalgia and nothing more, or had they always intended him to be conscious? Was the Wildcat a weapon, or a leader? If it was the latter that might be Sunny’s saving grace. If of course, Otselotovaya Khvatka went after the Wildcat before the two of them returned to base. As Hal saw it Ocelot valued freedom, of a sort, and control over others. He and Sunny had an understanding that made their relationship work, somehow, and her knowledge and abilities made her valuable or he wouldn’t keep her on hand. He probably, probably, wouldn't want to get rid of her in case either BBR or Otselotovaya Khvatka decided to try to take control of him. But if she was valuable to him, Hal bit his lip, she was also valuable to Otselotovaya Khvatka...

 

Hal woke up hours late and called in to work sick, and he certainly sounded it. He stripped unceremoniously and fell into the shower, realising too late that he still had his socks and underpants on. They were left in the shower tray as he dried off and went downstairs for coffee. The Wildcat’s readings could be looked after by the assistants today, they’d page him if there was a change for the worse, there was something he needed to find out today.

“Wish me luck.” He said to Snake’s photo on his way out.

 

Late morning on a weekday and the streets were blissfully quiet. Hal clutched a piece of paper in his fist, Dr West’s address scrawled on it. West lived across town and Hal’s ankle was starting to ache by the time he reached the white front door, he was starting to dread walking back again. Taking a deep breath and putting on the face of a concerned work mate here to check up on a peer, he stepped up and rapped on the door. A moment later a woman with sleepless eyes looked out at him.

“Yes?” She said through a crack in her lips.

“Hi, I’m Hal Emmerich, I worked with Jude West.” It was the woman from the photo, she wasn’t so smiley now. “Your… Husband?”

“Um-hum. Yes. He’s not here.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Do you know when he’ll be back?”

Her face crumpled and she looked away. “No.”

“Mrs West? Are you okay?”

“Mmn,” she sniffed. “He came home, told me he was being suspended, then the next day he was gone. I thought he’d gone into work to pick up some things or... But he never came back,” she hid her eyes behind her hand.  
“You don’t know where he might have gone?”  
“No. But… There was a man, came to talk to my husband that night at the door. Jude said it was just sales but it was late. I told the police but they think he's just reacting to being suspended and there's no sign of 'foul play' and..." Her throat closed and she faltered.

"I'm sorry Mrs West."

“I don’t know what my husband was working on, but if it’s gotten him into trouble I… I wish he’d never started, that place has caused us nothing but stress for months, phone calls at all hours, meetings… The police just think he's taken off because I saw him driving in the wrong direction that morning, on his own… What was he into?”

“I wish I knew Mrs West, I’ve taken over his job, but I’ve encountered nothing that would lead to his disappearance,” except the resurrection of an infamous mercenary of course. “If I hear anything I’ll be sure to tell you.”

“Thank you, oh come in, he has some work here, it might be of use if you’re doing the same thing.”

“Thank you, Mrs West.”

“Do you want a coffee?”

“That would be nice, yes please.”

 

Hal didn’t go straight home. He stopped half way to sit in the park to rest and glance through the papers Jude’s wife had given him. There was no doubt in his mind now that Ocelot’s awakening was no accident, but the timing seemed all wrong. Sunny had thought it was her fault Ocelot had woken up, but what if she’d only woken him up sooner than planned? There was only one document that suggested Hal might be correct, and that one reminded the reader to destroy the papers, since it was in Hal’s hands presumably Jude had missed this one, or had yet to read it thoroughly. It stated a time and date, and a pilot, but by a code name: Crow. Hal recognised the date: if everything had gone smoothly it would have been the date of the Wildcat’s first off base excursion, and it would have been stolen then, taken straight into Otselotovaya Khvatka's waiting hands by their chosen pilot. Hal sat back on the park bench and hunched his shoulders, starting to get chilled. Somewhere in BBR there was still an enemy agent, and West was gone. Hal took a deep breath and a sighed it out shakily. West had either been taken away, or he'd chosen to leave, either way, his whereabouts were unknown and by the time the police realised he hadn't just gone off on his own to vent his frustrations he'd probably be out of reach. Hal rested his head in his hands.

 

“Ocelot’s are s-s-solitary c-cats!” Sunny had cried, eight years old and running into the room where Hal had been sitting at the computer searching for Liquid Ocelot's whereabouts. “They d-don’t put u-up with other ocelots!”

“Is that so?” He’d murmured, distracted, tired.

“D-do you think t-that’s w-w-hy uncle S-snake says he f-fought with hi-is own t-team m-mates?”

Hal had blinked confused. “What? FoxHound? Heh-heh, maybe so, but I don’t think he’s a real ocelot, sweetheart.”

“H-he got the n-name some-some how.” She’d beamed, as if she understood everything.

 

Hal opened his eyes to find a woman on the other side of the fountain turning up her collar and staring at him.  
“I hope you’re right, Sunny,” he breathed as he stood up and clutched the papers to his chest. “I hope he’ll reject them, see them as just a memory of a man he didn't know rather than his own creation."  
Otselotovaya Khvatka had enough power to set this up, how many of them were left? Enough to tempt him into taking an offer? Into taking control of them? Hal turned towards home, a leaden weight in his chest.

 

\---

 

A lone figure dropped down into the gully and hunched over into a crouch, checking around himself for signs of being spotted. He ran in his crouch downwards away from the camp, a portable transmitter clutched to his chest. The light was poor, the sun almost under the horizon the world was grey and washed out. Reaching his normal quiet spot, rocky ground to hide his footprints, the agent tried three times to make contact. On the third try he got through.

 

“It’s the same machine that took down the helicopter,” he confirmed. “And it’s definitely the Wildcat. He’s awake. Yes. No… No, the Wildcat still uses a pilot. I'm not sure… They seem to... Share control... The REX here was destroyed by it, him, today. Yes... No... Sunny Gurlukovich-Emmerich? Yes that's her, I'm not sure, she might do but I wouldn't count on it... Yes, of course I'll continue to monitor her. Surveillance reported the Wildcat been seen working closely with the ground troops, he may be quite comfortable already, Commander. I fear we’ll need to move soon, or he won’t believe we are his true allies... I... Commander is that necessary? I... Of course, I'm sorry Commander. I understand... Commander they captured one of the Balam men... No he didn't know anything. Yes. I'll return to my post.”


	20. Echoes

" _There are three things in the world that deserve no mercy: hypocrisy, fraud, and tyranny._ "

\--

Frederick William Robertson

 

 

The early rays of light were creeping up over the horizon and turning the sky pale jaundiced blue. Sunny woke up and was relieved to find herself alone. Outside, a prisoner was being lead between the buildings. His guards glanced suspiciously up at the long inhuman face watching them but chose to ignore it and stayed on task. When they went out of sight into the interrogation building, the Wildcat dragged its claws through the dirt and pulled itself to its feet with a mechanical sigh. Ocelot growled in the back of his throat and headed out of town, pausing only in response to Sunny's hesitant approach. He glanced back at her hopping over the rough road, rubbing warmth into her arms, then continued on his way with her in pursuit.  
  
Sunny shrugged her shoulders under her coat and caught her breath, taking deep gasps of the moist air. Above her the Wildcat glimmered in its coat of condensation, still as a statue in the early morning light. She’d awoken naturally, but been rosed from her bed by a surge of frustration from the giant machine. The moment she'd reached out to him, he'd shut her out. Concerned by his behaviour, and struggling with the pressing sense of aloneness that now came whenever he dropped contact, Sunny had slipped outside to find him. She'd been no less concerned to find him, once again, keeping post by the squat building that made her skin crawl. The morning was quiet. There was no distant sound of battle, or generators chugging away, in about 10 minutes the kitchen would rattle into wakefulness, ready for the troops, but for now all was still. Ocelot was the only source of movement or sound as he stalked away, folding his arms behind his back as he went. Sunny hurried to catch up with him and a hundred yards out of town he stopped and waited for her, reopening the nanolink when she got there.  
  
"Quiet morning?”  
 _Not now.  
_ The wedge shaped head swung downwards and Sunny lowered her gaze with a grimace.  
“Oh s-sorry I... I didn't mean to... I’ll go.” She turned to leave, but barely made it two steps before the Metal Gear's tail fell to the ground with a wet thunk in front of her.  
 _No don’t leave. I'm just..._ He sighed.  
"Okay... Don't move your tail, I'm sitting on it."  
He chuckled. _Ah good to know I still have a use.  
_ "Of course you do! Why, is that what's bothering you?"  
 _Maybe a little. I'm not used to seeing prisoners being taken away like that, without going with them.  
_ "Oh."  
 _Sorry, not what you wanted to hear.  
_ "No... Well... No, but it was a major part of your life."  
The Wildcat moved its tail and she fell with a yelp.  
 _Don't look at me like that!  
_ "W-what?"  
 _Don't give me that look, I'm tired of that damn look. Tired of people who think they're so much better than me because they don't do the dirty jobs!  
_ Sunny gaped up at him and finally he broke the silence between them.  
 _I didn't mean to get angry. I know that's not what you were thinking, but so many did, so many people didn't know what they were talking about.  
_ She got back to her feet and dusted herself off, stepping back from him.  
"It's okay, but ah... Why didn't you s-stop if you didn't like people looking at you like that? Why did you start at all?"  
  
Ocelot remained silent for a long time, when he next spoke it was curious non sequitur.  
 _My father was a medium, he could find out what was happening on the battlefield by talking to the spirits of soldiers already dead.  
_ Sunny, accustomed to his avoidance and segues by this point rolled with it, hoping it would come full circle: “Can you talk to them?”  
 _No. I couldn’t even hear them. He was a psychic too, I..._ He coughed. _Well I inherited it, but I was never powerful with it. I discovered it allowed me to more clearly anticipate a person's behaviour when they'd been mentally broken down, sometimes even sway them into doing what I wanted. Only weakly though you understand, someone very skilled in reading body language or manipulative speaking would probably be able to do the same thing.  
_ "Wow... That's pretty impressive though. Is that why you were able to understand ricocheting bullets so well?"  
 _It may have played a role, but I was always pretty good at triggernometry.  
_ Sunny sighed.  
 _What?  
_ "I just... Feel like I know how you were spelling that."  
He chuckled.  
"Yeah... Yeah I thought so."  
 _I feel like you appreciate my jokes less than my career.  
_ "They're more of an immediate threat."  
 _Don't think I don't know this is a coping method._  
"Try thinking about how I need coping method to deal with you at all."  
  
\---  
  
Ocelot was sat beside her on the edge of the roof of a beautiful white sandstone house. Its walled in garden sprawled out before them. Beyond Ocelot a swimming pool in the grounds glittered in the sun. He seemed more relaxed this time, maybe it was the setting—of his own choosing—or that it was simply not the first time he'd generated this VR appearance. His shirt was open at the collar, his waistcoat unbuttoned and his hair tied back to let the virtual breeze reach the nape of his neck. Sunny didn't know if it actually had an effect on him, but he was certainly dedicated to the illusion.  
"I kind of envy my father for his abilities."  
"Oh yeah?" Sunny looked up from the sun baked terracotta tiles under her feet and at him.  
  
"I kept thinking that eventually The Patriots would make a mistake or his body would simply give up and Big Boss would die. I wondered, if only I was stronger… Could I have seen and heard his ghost? Could he have talked to me, would I have known? I wondered how many people might be trying to talk to me. I only met my mother for a short time, and never met my father, I wondered if..." He trailed off, glanced at her then looked away again. "It was ridiculous of course, I grew out of it, and in hindsight I know it was wishful thinking—wouldn’t it have been better for me at least, if Big Boss was a ghost, talking to me, with me again, than an unconscious body with no future? I mean I suppose it could have been useful too, but I know what I was thinking of."

“I understand. When I was younger, I used to play some old recordings from around the Nomad—”  
"The aeroplane the three of you lived in?" He looked around, eyebrows arched curiously.  
“That’s right. I used to listen to Snake’s voice, and pretend he was telling me stories to send me to sleep, for a long time that was the only thing that could get me to go to bed…” She glanced up nervously, and not for the first time noticed how sad his expression seemed. “I guess we’re all a bit silly when we’ve lost s-someone we care about...” She finished.  
He nodded slowly. "Morbid though it is, I've seen so many people die, I always thought that when it's my turn to say goodbye to someone, I'll be able to shrug it off just as easily. It's different when it's someone you care about though." He and Sunny met each others gaze for a moment and he looked down. "If nothing else it keeps things in perspective."  
"I'm sure."  
"...When Big Boss killed The Boss, he told me he saw her and my father’s souls reunited, finally, in death."  
“He could see ghosts?”  
"I suppose so. He said he did and had many stories of similar incidences, but maybe he... I don't know. I’ve never seen anything." He raised his hands and turned them over as if inspecting them. "This is the closest I've come to a ghost, at least in my memory. Heh."  
“Me too. Snake once said he heard a voice though! Something… Banished the ghost of Psycho Mantis. He doubted that whole incident though, wondered if it was just his mind playing tricks on him as he aged, and well, you've seen the footage, it's all messed up.”  
"It’s possible he inherited something from Big Boss, likely even, though where he got it from I’ll never know."  
  
The sun gleamed without heat over the estate, and Ocelot's cold eyes remained down cast. "I’ve been wondering recently if when we died, Big Boss, Eva and I… Were we reunited, like my parents were?" Sunny looked up from where her eyes had been resting on the white flowers in the garden below. "I still have all my memories from when I was still, properly, alive. I want the same things I did then, more or less, even down to this,” he gestured at Sunny who blinked. “I’m not just opening up to you for the hell of it you know, I spent a long time considering what I wanted to say and admit to, when I was getting ready to become Liquid Ocelot.”  
“You intended to tell Naomi all this?”  
“Well not this, but yes more or less, I decided that, yes, I wanted to talk about my self. But now I… I’m not so sure I can get any of the other things I wanted. I always believed that after I died we could finally all be together, no east and west to divide us, no Patriots, no social taboos, no nightmares—just the three of us, fixing the schism that grew between us. Now that may have all been taken from me. When I was Resurrected as the Wildcat, was my soul torn away from them and placed back in a surrogate body? I have no recollection of such an event, but who’s to say that I could remember it even if it were true? Or have I no soul to speak of? Is Ocelot, the real Ocelot, still with his friends unknowing of me and my life? When I die will I just cease to exist? Am I even alive to be able to die? Big Boss gave me comfort when he told me of The Joy and The Sorrow walking into whatever awaited them arm in arm, I honestly believed, or maybe only sincerely hoped, that that was what awaited me. Now I have no idea and for the first time I have no concept of what awaits me." His mouth worked silently for a moment, then he slumped over to lean his elbows on his knees.

Sunny stared over at him. “I-I can’t answer any of those questions, I’m sorry, I really am.” She whispered, “I don’t know what to say, I…”  
He turned his head away. "I know spiritual matters aren’t part of your normal spheres of knowledge, or mine for that matter. I just always believed it and now it’s a total unknown. I don't really know why I brought it up. Forget it."  
“I—”  
“Please.”  
  
"So um... Ocelot?"  
"Hmn?" He straightened up finally.  
"That soldier we brought in, you saw them...?"  
"Oh him, yes. They've been working him over, it's hard to know from sound alone, but I don't think things have changed much since I last over saw interrogations by the US."  
"You're listening?" She asked in surprise.  
"Yes, I was hoping to learn something. Why? You don't think they'll volunteer this information to us do you?"  
"I... Well um..."  
"They're not getting anything useful from him, of course, I can't believe they're still working like this."  
"You did."  
"I got results."  
She narrowed her eyes at the finger pointed at her. "But you used techniques that have been s-shown to be unproductive, you only made them work because you had additional abilities that effected the prisoner."  
"So it worked."  
Sunny sighed. "But you could have used other techniques."  
"I liked mine." He muttered. "They were effective and caused minimal damage to everyone involved."  
"You're a hypocrite." She shook her head. "You hurt people and tried to justify it, but you're no better than the people you criticise."  
  
Ocelot blinked at her and she looked away, the muscles in her back tightened up as what she'd done sunk in. She waited for him to get angry, but nothing happened. In fact the frustration that had greeted her when she'd woken up seemed to have lifted, and when she forced herself to look back at him, Ocelot was staring back out over the landscape. He glanced at her with a guilty smile and she relaxed, somewhat baffled.  
  
\---  
  
Ocelot generally woke Sunny up early. Reminiscing alone didn’t have the appeal it once had, memories were too clear, there was nothing to question or dig through, there was just a very stark reality and the increasing conviction that he was missing something. Flicking insistently through file after file, he just became more convinced that he wasn’t complete any more, maybe never had been, and it left him squirming and uncomfortable. Sunny filled in some of the gap, talked to him like she was confident he was human. If not always a human she particularly liked or approved of. Sunny was generally woken up early, but today he woke her up particularly early, disturbed into action by the interrogation of their captive.  
  
Learning how to wake Sunny up had started days previously: Ocelot started nudging her awake with thoughts, but found that there was a likelihood of just interfering with her dreams and not waking her at all, since there was no fun in that—interfere he could do, control or see what he was doing? No—he’d tried a different tactic.  
  
Sunny was awoken by her nanomachines in a more direct manner. It was a poor semblance to having her shoulder shaken, at first rather hit and miss, sometimes he only managed a painful prickling and other times numbness. After a few mornings of trying he did successfully wake her up to the feeling of being gently shaken, not the sensation of being pricked with needles or being rubbed with an ice cube. Not all mornings were equal. The morning before she’d looked up sleepily to the echo of a man’s hand on her shoulder, there had been a shadow looming over her that had drifted back as the pressure on her arm was lifted. There had been no features to speak of, just a vague sense of a person that was gone almost as soon as she’d realised it was there. It had unnerved her but she’d put it down to being half asleep at the time and put it aside.  
  
Ocelot’s talk of ghosts on the battlefield had brought the incident back to the forefront of her mind and she shivered as she left him standing alone on the edge of town, presumably still tuned in to the interrogation not far from here.


	21. Perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's been leaving Kudos and Comments! It means so much to me!

" _I'm dead and still causing chaos, it's amazing._ "

\--

Bob Muyskens

 

“No, humans created you, so your size is defined by how it compares to human size: you were designed to be big, so you are.”  
“All size is relative, you’re tiny.”  
“Only in comparison to you, in comparison to me, you’re huge, and as a member of the species that created you, I'm right. The comparison must be made with humans as the starting point, not a Metal Gear b—”  
“But my basic components, on a molecular level, have been around as long as the components making up you, more or less, our forms may be different but only by accident of our birth. To say that one came first and created the other and so has precedence over the other has no meaning; as the creation of the objects in question has no meaning in and of its self, only the existence of both as it stands now holds weight, or in this case: size. You’re smaller than me.”  
“Yes.”  
“So you’re tiny.”  
“No…”  
“No, I agree with Sunny, you couldn’t have appeared on your own, we evolved to get here, you had to be built by human hands… I think we define what your dimensions are.”  
“‘Huge’ isn’t a dimension, 18 meters high is a dimension, ‘huge’ is just a descriptive and entirely subjective.”  
“Exactly.”  
“And the people being subjective in this case are wrong.”  
“And you’re right?”  
“Yes.”  
“I just think you’re insecure and have dominance issues.”  
“Excuse me? Sunny you’re missing the point, I could still be human and you’d still be tiny.”  
“You’re not human though,” said one of the soldiers who’d been watching the exchange.  
“Which is my point,” said Sunny.  
“But if I was—I think lunch is over.”  
“What? I didn’t eat yet.”  
  
The soldiers filed off grumbling and Sunny uncrossed her arms and raised her eyebrows up at the Wildcat. Ocelot turned his head and stuck his nose in the air.  
“Are you going to let me up, or am I walking back to BBR?”  
_I’m thinking I might just leave you down there._  
“Don’t be like that,” she coaxed. “It’s nice to see you making progress with the others, even if we are on our way home.”  
_Only because I’m so tired of only having you as my only conversation partner._ He sneered back.  
“Besides,” she said as he slowly dipped his head, the canopy hissing open. “I wouldn’t have been that small in comparison to you when you were human.”  
_You’d have come up to my chin. Or there about._  
“I come up to your chin right now,” she pointed out and he snorted.  
_They’re going to leave us behind if you don’t hurry up._  
  
Sunny had barely gotten her head and shoulders above the edge of the cockpit when she saw it, just a shimmer, then it was gone.  
_Is there something wrong?_  
At the back of the cockpit the camera she was staring up at whirred and refocused on her face.  
“N-no I… I’m seeing things, I thought there was someone standing there. Just the camera.”  
_Jumping at your own reflection._  
Sunny yelped as the Wildcat’s head rushed upwards and she tumbled into it, the canopy hissed shut and they stepped after the convoy.  
“I could have fallen,” she sniffed sitting down and securing herself.  
_I’d have caught you._  
“Yeah.”  
_I would have._  
  
“Did you want anything?”  
_Mmn?_  
“For Christmas?”  
_I don’t really do Christmas. Besides what could I ask for?_  
“High grade lubricant?”  
_Ha._  
“Well if you’re sure.”  
_No doubt your_ _—_ His sigh audibly passed through the cockpit— _Young man will be doing something nice for you on your return?_  
“I hadn’t thought about it,” she smiled.  
_No, of course not, that was really convincing._  
“Well it would be nice if someone did.”  
_Why not the Doctor?_  
“I love my uncle but I’d rather someone else took me out on a date,” she laughed. “You’re obviously unable to.”  
_Who says I would, even if I could?_  
“You would to keep me away from Rich.”  
_Be that as it may…_ The scenery swept past as he turned and looked back behind them. _Something has been bothering me, Sunny._  
“About—”  
_Not about Richard, something else. Since I-we took down that REX. It was done too fast, we must have drawn attention to ourselves and yet nothing came of it._  
“There were multiple attempts on—”  
_On the base, not on us specifically and that in itself is strange, a Metal Gear is the biggest threat to a group without its own Metal Gear, and yet…_  
“Is there something you’re not telling me, Ocelot?”  
_I was expecting to be targeted, and yes, I saw men at a distance, observing me at some length but nothing aggressive._  
“They were trying to figure out a course of attack?”  
_So I thought, but no attack was forth coming._  
  
Flexing her fingers over the console Sunny considered this for some time then asked: “Could they have thought we’d be there longer?”  
_I doubt it, there was only one enemy Metal Gear reported and we did our job in that respect. Why keep us there with nothing to fight?_  
“Could they be preparing to push forwards?”  
He didn’t sound convinced: _As far as the research complex?_  
“No, you’re right. Then I suppose… Another Metal Gear?”  
_Possibly, one that we don’t know about yet, and preparing it for combat against myself. Or maybe… Something else has been bothering me, Sunny._  
“Something else you’re not telling me?”  
_No need to be like that my dear. I was just wondering, how were recordings of my memories ever accessed in the first place? BBR had them on file, but why, and how?_  
"Apparently they were found on a PMC in China."  
_China... Naomi what on earth..._  
“We don't know it was her, they might have been passed around for a while, and I don't know why they weren't destroyed. I guess maybe someone thought we could learn something from them, or they just got forgotten about."  
_Didn’t you think it was strange that no pencil pusher along the way stopped him? No one during the testing stages realised the files had been accessed?_  
"Yeah, whomever did it really knew what they were doing and covered their tracks."  
_Who do you think did it?_  
"Well my uncle has the means but not the motive, so honestly... I can only think of West, I don't know what his reasons would have been, but he was heavily invested in this project, I don't think he'd have let something like an entire AI change go unnoticed."  
They slowed until the last armoured vehicle had trundled past then he spoke again, his attention shifted from his creation to his Imprinting. _Why did I, at the most basic level before ‘I’ even existed, focus in on you?_  
“Ah… Well, I was wondering about that just after you woke up. I was thinking about Solid Snake at the time. Some older MB-AIs would be disturbed or triggered into instability through familiar—”  
_Yes, yes, older MB-AIs were unstable, they went mad, Sunny I haven’t. I’m stable. My programming had to be broken into, by you I might add—_ “Thank you for reminding me.”— _before I could be Resurrected, and even then you had to get in here_ —an image of the blank canvas that Ocelot’s mind inhabited rippled across the cockpit and vanished— _and lead me out, and that in itself… I trusted you. Implicitly._ The last few words were almost spat out.  
“You were a child, you hadn't experienced enough of your own life yet to distrust me.”  
_Yes, but why? Was that set up? And why did you not cause damage when you woke me up in the first place like with every other MB-AI?_  
  
Ocelot didn’t continue to wonder aloud and Sunny was left to her own thoughts. He lost himself within his own head so she took over the main part of the driving and turned the subject of his Resurrection over in her mind; an open book should he wish to interject.  
  
“I thought it was too easy, getting access to your memory files. I thought it was just an oversight, nothing special, potentially dangerous okay, but not suspect. I had actually intended to let the development crew know after I was done..."  
_Being nosy._  
"Eh yeah. Thinking back though, it was kind of suspicious. Particularly as when I first met you in that one memory, I mean... That couldn't have just been a memory."  
_What are you saying?_  
“You generate virtual reality 'scenes' very easily for a machine that has no use for such an ability. We've already established that when I access a memory file directly I see it as you saw it, through your eyes.”  
_Of course, how else would I have made the memory?_  
"Exactly but that setting, you as a child in that school, wasn't from your point of view, it was from mine. You weren't just a memory, you were a conscious being inside a virtual reality bubble."  
_Yes...?_  
"But why? A virtual reality like that is for some form of user interface, you didn't need it."  
_I would have done if I was conscious._  
"Yes exactly, but why were you already conscious? And why were you built with a VR system that allowed you to be conscious and contained at the same time? Why make one that I could access that easily? And why make it so that when triggered it automatically engaged with my nanomachines and drew me in?"  
_I can imagine it being included to keep my AI from breaking loose into the real world, but you're right, that doesn't explain why you could access it. I have memories that include you now, even though you weren't alive when those memories should have been made. That virtual reality was erasing and replacing my real memories. This is starting to sound like I was set up to remember someone I'd never met._  
"Yeah, yeah that's what I was thinking. You were always supposed to wake up, to be woken up. I think I accidentally stumbled into the method of Resurrecting you. Whomever was supposed to wake you up would trigger the VR either the same way I did, or with some kind of headset, enter it and ingratiate themselves with you, possibly over a longer period of time than I did, then lead you into the real world were you'd be already inclined to trust that person based on your modified memories of them.” She paused to take a breath, Ocelot waited. “If they were trained to do it, it might not have been been so obviously out of place as it is with me, hell you might really believe you'd grown up with them or something."  
  
_Sunny. Your interference was an accident right? There was a test pilot lined up?_  
“Yeah. Bran was the test pilot, but he ended up training me instead."  
_Bran..._  
"But he's been with the company for years!"  
_That doesn't mean anything. He could have been planted there years before, or even turned while he was working for the company._  
"You really think it was him?"  
_Maybe not, maybe there was someone else planned, but he was supposed to be the one in your position, the one with access to my memories and the VR program, not you, we can't write him off._  
"No... You're right. I hope it's not him though. I like Bran."  
_Yes, and if he is our man then I'm sure that's not an accident._  
“Uncle Hal will have been looking into this.”  
_You know that?_  
“I know him, and nothing is going to have gotten between him and finding out why you’re back. I’ll talk to him when we're home, find out what he's learnt.”  
_Bet you five dollars he’s looking for a way to be rid of me too._  
“You'd be in debt. You don’t have five dollars.”  
_I'll bet five of your dollars._  
  
“Ocelot,” she said suddenly a short while later. “What do you think this has to do with the Balam? They can't have anything to do with this surely?"  
_You’re sure of that?_  
“… I was until you said that.”  
_The Balam are a PMC, we can't disregard the possibility that they've been hired by someone with an investment in this project, they may even be a cover._  
“Or a distraction..."  
_Yes._  
"Yeah... Look, lets not mention this to anyone outside of the two of us and Hal okay?”  
_A_ _nd they think I’m the bad influence._ He shook himself and picked up speed to pass by the vehicles. _I agree though, we don't know who is involved, or what they want. Huh. Do you think they’d let us go ahead?_  
“No.”  
_They’re so slow._  
“It’s not that far. You’ll complain when we get home anyway.”  
_No I won’t._  
“Spending all Christmas alone and stuck in the garage?”  
… _I won’t._  
  
Benedict Business Research’s disused air traffic control tower was the first thing that came into view, shortly followed by the taller buildings in town, then slowly but surely the rest of the town and BBR’s high imposing walls.  
Sunny was hailed over the radio and instructed to run ahead. She’d barely had time to acknowledge the call when Ocelot leapt forwards onto all fours and sprinted towards home. The gates were open for their arrival and the Wildcat swaggered onto the inner apron, turned around and waited for someone to greet them while Sunny shook her head at him. Temporary housing had been set up for the soldiers, who were being stationed here for the night before moving on. While there was an official greeting going on for the tired soldiers, for Sunny and the Wildcat the welcome home crew was their R &D team, who scuttled out like little white moths, their lab coats flaring out behind them like fluttering wings, and behind them…  
Sunny grinned. “Let me down!”  
_Don’t leave me alone with them they’re so... Sunny? Are you listening?_  
She wasn’t. Sunny jumped down and ran past the design engineers to her uncle and, with VISITOR plastered across one side of his chest, Rich.  
The engineers tried to wave Ocelot down but he stepped after Sunny, who wriggled her way out of Rich’s arms complaining that she needed a shower and looked up.  
_Ocelot, they need to debrief you._ Sunny shot at him.  
_You as well._  
“Nosey thing isn’t it?” Rich was blinking up at the Wildcat. “How’s it doing that, moving on its own?”  
“Just the AI,” she pointed past him. “Move to the hangers.” _He doesn't know, he can't know, Ocelot._  
“Yeah be a good ‘bot and shoo.” Rich laughed.  
  
Sunny winced, but it did no good. The Wildcat bellowed and those nearby covered their ears quickly, the ringing would take hours to pass. It swept around, tail clipping the garage wall and sending concrete fragments rattling to the ground and strode off, for a moment it looked like it was going to go straight past the hangers, but with a rumbling growl it turned sharply and stalked inside, the design engineers running after it and the maintenance engineers getting out the way as quickly as they could.  
  
Sunny glanced at Hal who was scowling and shaking his head, Rich looked suitably shaken up.  
“Don’t worry about that,” she said smiling despite herself. “It’s the AI, it’s a bit… It doesn’t like to be given orders by anyone other than it’s pilot.”  
"Didn't think they could act like that!"  
"Well it's a prototype, it's a bit... um... iffy sometimes." She winced and raised a hand to her head.  
“Sunny?”  
_Ocelot that hurt!_  
_I don’t take ‘orders’ from you either!_  
A second mental impact and she had to close her eyes. _Damn it Ocelot I’m just covering for you, you prick!_  
_Wouldn’t need to if he wasn’t such a—!_  
_He didn’t kn—_  
“Sunny?”  
“Uh? Sorry Uncle Hal, it’s been a long day, I have a headache.” She turned back to Richard. “Thanks for coming to meet me, that was really sweet, are we driving you home? I’ll get the debriefing over and done with as soon as I can.”  
“Yeah, your uncle gave me a lift here, you gonna tell me about it later?”  
“Maybe…”  
Hal piped up. “I’m going to ah, make sure the Wildcat is being looked after correctly.”  
“Can I see?” Rich perked up instantly from his disappointment that Sunny had to leave again, she waved goodbye but he only half responded.  
“No, sorry Richard, restricted area.”  
  
“Ocelot?”  
“What!?”  
Hal jumped, as did the engineers around him, at the snarl.  
“Ah, you’re talking now then?”  
His reply was a low guttural growl as the Wildcat settled in its bay, waiting for the humans to evacuate the immediate area before laying down. Hal took an involuntary step back as its claws stretched out towards him, rasping on the concrete as they were drawn back again.  
Hal rubbed his temples. “I know I shouldn’t have let him come, but I couldn’t think of a good reason not to let him. I didn't expect you to react so badly."  
The Wildcat turned its head to glower at him.  
"You can't be jealous of her."  
“It’s not that. I just don’t like him.”  
“Why? He’s young and... Slightly arrogant sure, but he seems fine.”  
"Fine?"  
Hal sighed.  
"I get it. You're her uncle, you're not comfortable seeing her date?"  
"I'm not the one who just made everyone deaf screaming at him."  
"I just have a slightly different perspective to you. I'm not jealous."  
"I hope you're not, because while I tend to keep out of Sunny's love life I draw the line at you."  
Ocelot made a whining sound. “Don’t you like me?” One of the nearby engineers chuckled as he lugged a thick cable over.  
“No.”  
“What are you here for, Doctor?”  
  
Hal jumped onto the new line of conversation with relief. “Data retrieval, and back ups. Which is what I came to talk to you about.”  
“I don’t think I like the idea of my memories being on file, Doctor.” But he was obediently dropping his head to the engineers as he said it, so the access panels under his jaw could be opened.  
“No, I wouldn’t either but yours already are. Your computers were never designed to hold the shear amount of data you’re collecting, I suggest over the next week or so you consider what you can be rid of, and clear down the incidental recordings routinely.”  
“I have to delete my memories?”  
“Not everything, you were designed to make new memories and learn, but not all the time every day, long periods of boredom and things like that, unimportant things, you may as well get rid off… Ocelot?”  
“I heard you.”  
“And try not to give yourself away just because you feel threatened by a kid a few thousand times smaller than you.”  
“I was not threatened.” He hissed, then huffed at Hal’s smirk. “I preferred you before you met Snake.”  
“Do me a favour?”  
“Mn?”  
“Don’t intrude on her for a least a couple of days, just let her be. You exhaust her, I can tell. She said in one of her letters you were bored? I ah, set up a pad with some audiobooks—” Ocelot chuckled. “—just ask one of the hangar supervisors.”  
“What sort of books?”  
“A range, wasn’t sure what you might like.”  
The claws stretched again. “I’m sure there’ll be something good. I won't stir up trouble here, and I’ll leave her be.”  
“Thank you. Did you think about what we talked about before your trip?”  
"Yes, and I kept my word."  
"And?"  
"I don't think she's going to change her mind any time soon. She is resilient."  
Ocelot’s gaze remained fixed on his back as he left without further comment.


	22. Whims

  
“ _When the pain becomes too great to bear, just give up and your suffering will end, but if you do, the girl’s life is mine._ ”  
—  
Revolver Ocelot, MGS

 

Doctor West remained absent, the police had finally gotten involved, but there was no trail, no sign of his cards being used. His car showed up not far out of town, abandoned, if there'd been any tracks leading away they'd been obscured by the weather. Hal decided to reach out to Ashlee, who's initial anxiety over her missing husband had deepened to a constant worry, she looked tired all the time but was glad to be invited into Hal and Sunny's home for Christmas, she needed the company.  
  
Sunny was less enamoured with Ashlee's arrival, though she put on a friendly smile when she opened the door and let her in.  
_All we know about this woman is that her husband is directly involved with Otselotovaya Khvatka. Is letting her in here really a good idea?  
_ "Probably not." Sunny whispered as Hal greeted his work mate's wife and found her a seat, Sunny was getting coffee, talking under the cover of the kettle boiling. "But Hal has a soft spot for her."  
_Not for me he doesn't. But then I'm not—_  
The phone rung just then and Sunny jumped and caught her hand on the kettle, she hissed and shook her hand out as she went for the phone. "Uncle Hal, can you get the drinks?"  
_You're busy, I'll leave you alone for now._  
Sunny didn't have time to answer, because a familiar voice was already talking down the line: "Hey it's Jack."  
  
Sunny sank into a chair, smiling, as Hal went for the kettle, Ashlee had gotten up and was trailing around after him, wringing her hands and trying to be helpful.  
"Hey Jack, it's Sunny."  
"Hey! Hope I didn't call at a bad time?"  
"Na. How are you all?"  
  
Sunny listened to Jack talking about how his work was going (he was taking time off over Christmas), how Rose was (she wasn't), and how Little John, who wasn't so little any more, was staying with them this year—he'd been hoping to spend the holidays with his girlfriend, but she wanted to be with her parents this year, and they didn't want John around. Sunny could have almost been content, just chatting with her old friend, but every movement Ashlee made brushed her the wrong way. She retreated eventually to the base of the stairs to keep out of the way, but she could still hear them talking and it grated on her nerves.  
  
Ashlee accepted her drink gratefully but didn't sit down. Her eyes cast desperately around the kitchen, looking for something, anything to focus on.

"You know it's, it's silly..." She managed after a long awkward pause. "There's a part of me that, I mean, I feel like I should have just stayed home."  
"You didn't have to come if you didn't want to."  
"No! No I just mean. I mean I want to be here, I needed to get out, talk to someone again but…"  
"Ah. Yeah I get it. It's difficult to do when you want to be alone, even if you know it's not good for you."  
She nodded and sipped her coffee, her blurry gaze focused on an old picture taped to the fridge. It had been laminated, but now even the laminate had started to peel back, the colours were faded but had been mismatched from the start—two scribbled taller figures side by side, one was smiling the other was not, there was a zigzagging grey cloud over its head. There was a smaller scribble beside them that looked far less human shaped, as if the artist hadn't really known what they were drawing. She smiled and pointed, "Was that one of Sunny's?"  
"Huh?" Hal looked over. "Oh yeah, back when she was a little kid, when we..." he paused. "Well when we took her in, it was one of the first things she ever drew for us."  
"Us?" Ashlee's smile faded. "You had a wife?"  
"Huh?" he chuckled. "No, no. It was me and Dave. We were a bit of an odd lot, relationships never seemed to work out for me, women didn't... tend to stick around. Dave wasn't looking. We'd been travelling around together for a couple of years before Sunny fell into our lap. After Dave," his throat closed and he coughed. "Well after Dave died that's when I adopted Sunny legally. It was all a bit of a mess honestly."  
"Oh. I'm sorry. You must have been close?"  
"Yeah, yeah Dave and I were family. Got each other through some really tough times."  
"Well you two certainly seem to have done well with Sunny. So um, which one is Dave?"  
"The grumpy one with the smoke cloud." Hal smiled sheepishly and fished his wallet out of his pocket, and handed her a folded up photograph. "Here, this does him more justice."  
  
Ashlee tilted her head, looking at the photo. Hal was a lot younger here, with bigger rounder glasses and big round eyes, he was holding the camera out in front of him at arm's length, and trying to keep another man in the shot with him, against a background of patchy snow and a small wooden house. The man, Dave, Ashlee presumed, had been a fair bit taller than Hal, and built like... something sparked in her sleep deprived brain and she studied his face. He was scowling, but not particularly seriously, beneath a ragged fringe of loose dark curls, an almost burnt out cigarette hung between his lips and he was unshaven. He looked almost as tired as she felt.  
"What..." she murmured.  
"Hmn?"  
"I... know you two, don't I?"  
"Ah... Well. It's possible yeah. Maybe not to look at but…"  
She ran a thumb over the photo. "Where do I know you from?"  
  
Hal sighed with resignation. Another moment of fishing in his pocket, fussing with his phone, sliding it over to her. An old news article, the debris of the tanker in the bay, a blurry photo of a man in a sneaking suit squinting up into the rain.  
"Solid Snake," Hal murmured. "That's how everyone else knew him."  
"Everyone thought you were terrorists." Ashlee looked up in shock. "It was really just the three of you?"  
"Two of us, Sunny came later. Took us a long time to clear our names." He took the phone and photo back from her and put them back, wrapping his hands tightly around his coffee cup. "You remember that incident then?"  
"Who doesn't, Solid Snake was a hero, we were all shocked when those photos surfaced."  
"A lot of people still think he did it, there was never any real public evidence to the contrary, but we were framed. All we wanted was to help people and do some good."  
"I don't think I could have done it, kept going after that…"  
"Well, we did think about giving up." Hal glanced towards the stairs, Sunny looked up at him then turned away, focusing on her hushed conversation. "Every time we used fake names, moved to a new place, just thought maybe this time we'd stop there, keep hiding. But if we had, we'd never have gotten Sunny, and Liquid Ocelot wouldn't have been stopped."  
"Well then, I'm glad you didn't give up, the world owes a lot to you two."  
  
"Yeah, she called yesterday." Sunny said, "I should have guessed you two would have heard from her."  
"She seems to think we know what's going on."  
"Hal won't tell her anything until it can be face to face, she's too busy to come see us so…"  
Jack laughed. "Keeping Meryl in the dark isn't good for your future prospects."  
"No, but letting her know isn't too good either."  
"That bad?"  
"Mmn. Maybe. Yes."  
"Can you talk about it?”  
"No, I don't think that would be a good idea, sorry."  
"It's okay, I can wait, you know you can always talk to either of us though, right?"  
"I know, thank you Jack. It's ah... Well. How did you and Rose, you know, make things work after…"  
"After I finally admitted I was being a douche-bag?"  
"Heh."  
"A lot of work, from both of us. I had a lot of trust issues, a lot of problems and Rose had every reason to distrust me. I was lucky she wanted us to fix things, lucky we had Roy to help us too. But you know all this, what's up?"  
"Just... Someone I know. They're... They've done some pretty bad things, but they're also kind of messed up and I don't think they did those things because they were a bad person just…"  
"Ah. Sunny."  
"Yeah?"  
"Be careful. I don't think there's much of a difference between a bad person and a good person if they're still doing bad things, if they don't want to learn where they're going wrong and change, you can't put yourself in the firing line for them."  
"Yeah…"  
"And sometimes you need to get yourself out of there, even if they are willing to change, you have to take care of yourself and some people are just… Toxic is how Rose describes it."  
"Thanks Jack." She glanced up, Ashlee was messing with something in her purse, picking it up, opening it and rummaging, only to close it up, put it aside, then start again. Hal was either oblivious or ignoring it. Sunny fidgeted, feeling closed out and... alone?  
"I promise I won't put them first, I don't think they'd be worth it."  
"No? Well... If you need to talk…"  
"Yeah, yeah I'll be sure to call you. Thanks for being a good friend Jack."  
"Hey, that's what family is for right? We stick together when things are tough."

Hal rubbed his thumb over the tendons in the back of his hand, the conversation had not drifted away from the subject of their families, though he wasn't doing badly at keeping Ashlee talking about hers, as always it was proving hard to keep the topic off him and Dave and Sunny. Not that he wasn't proud of his family, he was, he even wanted to talk about them. Sometimes the urge to talk to someone, anyone about Dave was a physical ache, but talking hurt too, particularly these days. He would have done just about anything to have Dave with him again now, if just for an hour, to give him advice on how to move forwards, how to keep Sunny safe and how to sleep soundly again, knowing Ocelot was no more. But Ocelot was back, and Sunny wasn't safe and this time there was no one there to protect her but Hal, who had never done anything in the face of Ocelot's threats but quake.  
  
He mumbled a response to Ashlee, saw her uncomfortable expression and coughed.  
"Sorry, I was, I think I was zoning out a bit there, not your fault I'm just…"  
"Yeah, I get it." She toyed with the empty cup. "I've been like that a lot recently. So um... I hadn't asked... You're dealing with what Jude was working on?"  
"Yeah…"  
"So... Why he..." she trailed off.  
Hal pushed his glasses up his nose, feeling a prickling on his forehead. "I don't know why, but I think someone thought West was getting them the new Metal Gear, he couldn't, but I don't know why they've taken him away."  
"He was going to steal it?"  
Hal shrugged, "I don't know what they intended, or why he was working with them."  
"Oh... Are you and Sunny safe?"  
"I... Don't know actually."  
  
"Uncle Hal!" Sunny jumped up from her seat at the bottom of the stairs and hurried back to the kitchen, pointing at the clock, Hal stood up quickly with a scrape of his chair.  
"Oh, I forgot dinner!"  
Sunny grimaced at Ashlee as he dropped the conversation and ran to the oven to switch it off. "I'm afraid neither of us are great cooks so we don't tend to have a very traditional Christmas dinner…"  
"Oh that's okay," Ashlee smiled. "I don't think I could have handled that anyway."  
  
Sunny had plenty of stories from their extended family to talk about over dinner, and was welcome to take the lead and shape the conversation. To Hal's surprise Ashlee took it well when Sunny told her they couldn't discuss certain things, though he suspected she saw it more in the light of military secrets and espionage rather than normal personal information now. Either way worked for him however. Meryl had called that morning, and they weren't expecting another call from her just yet, but bringing up Jack and Rose reminded Hal that she was going to be making waves down the line. Meryl was a busy woman, and it would be a while before she could find time to visit, but by then he had no doubt she'd have figured out what they were hiding from her. If nothing made it even more obvious by then.

Meryl had helped him keep Sunny when social services had tried to take her away as a child, she'd kept her safe and looked after her until she'd been allowed home. She was ferocious and stubborn and if anyone could be trusted to help him keep Sunny close to hand and safe, it would be Meryl. He picked at an over roasted potato. Undermining, that's how Ocelot had described what he was doing, that wasn't fair, he was just trying to keep her safe! But... She wasn't a little girl any more, he could, he should, be listening to her, but she was getting so deep... What was the alternative to getting Meryl involved? To trying to stop Sunny from getting into danger? To just let her go?  
Sunny caught his eye, looking concerned and he smiled weakly at her.  
He could loose her either way.  
  
\---  
  
"He's really stressed." Sunny mumbled. There was no answer, and she sunk down into the sofa, watching Hal and Ashlee outside waiting for the woman's taxi to arrive. When it rolled up, Ashlee took Hal's hand before rushing off, leaving Sunny's uncle blinking down at something left in his grip.  
  
\---  
  
“'They're coming to take it back’?” Sunny read aloud. It was a print out of an email, the address was from a web based email and made up of nonsense, not meant for someone to respond to. Hal slumped down into his seat.  
“That’s what Ocelot said when he stole RAY.”  
“S-shall I…?”  
“No. Leave him.” Hal took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know where Ashlee got this from, but I hope it doesn’t mean that they think she’s involved with us.”  
“She is now. She might even be one of them.”  
“No…”  
“Uncle Hal, we barely know her.” Sunny stood up, sliding the paper across the table.  
“Should we take this further?”  
“What more can we do?”  
His gaze settled on the carpet. “I..." He sighed. "I don't know. We’re not who we were—I’m not… Who I was.”  
“Good!” She kissed him firmly on the cheek. “Don’t start getting maudlin on me, those weren’t better days.”  
“No… No of course not, you’re right. We couldn’t have taken on an army head on even in our prime.”  
Sunny smiled. “We don’t know they’re an army, they might just be a handful of fanatics, and we still have Ocelot.”  
“For now. I wanted your opinion on that: will he stay with us do you think?”  
She sighed and hugged herself. “Uncle Hal…”  
“I’m sorry to ask, but you know him better than I do.”  
“Barely. We don’t know what they want of him yet, it will probably depend on that. If they’re loyal and defer to him, we’ve probably as good as—as good as lost him, unless he doesn't like their plans at all. We’ll be okay though. We always are, right?” she rested her hand on his shoulder.  
“Yes, yes of course you’re right,” he took it and kissed it fondly. “It’s late, you should get some sleep.”  
“Mnn. Don’t stay up late.”  
“I won’t. Sleep well love.”  
  
\---  
  
Sunny didn’t bother to turn on the light, and dropped her clothes on the floor. She sat on the bed with her duvet pulled up around her shoulders. The words from the past, who they’d gotten them from, why, rattled around in her head. She agreed with Ocelot, trusting Ashlee was a mistake, maybe she wasn't their enemy but she could be, even without realising it, and this could be a false lead. She needed to talk to Ocelot. Ocelot! She hadn't heard from him all evening. He was alone and sulking in his chassis with the potential choice between BBR and an unknown group who wanted him for their own secret reasons.  
  
Sunny curled up and waited until she heard Hal go to bed, then reached out and pushed open her window. Snuggling up in the duvet with the cool air on her face she finally reached out.  
“O-Ocelot?" She whispered, barely a sound passing through her mumbling lips.  
_Good evening, Sunny.  
_ "Am I disturbing?"  
_What would you be disturbing exactly? Has something happened?  
_ "Did Hal fill you in on what we’ve found out?" Still clinging to the duvet she shuffled over to her desk and brought up the laptop, its blue light flooding the room.  
_About me?_  
"No, the current political situation in South Africa."  
_There's no need to take that tone. No, he’s not said anything.  
_ "While we were away Hal found a reference to Otselotovaya Khvatka in Doctor West’s files."  
_The company?_  
"Yeah. It seems… plausible they were behind your Resurrection… and West’s disappearance."  
_And no sign of him yet.  
_ "N-no."  
_Any idea what they’d want from me?_  
"My opinion? They want their commander back."  
  
"Ocelot, what are you going to do? Honestly. If you wanted to leave… I’d rather just know. Like we discussed, no secrets I—"  
He interrupted: _I don’t intend to leave. Liquid Ocelot was their commander, not I. I’ve had my chance as a leader, it didn’t end well for anyone.  
_ "We don’t know exactly what they want yet." She pointed out.  
_A weapon or a leader, either way I’m not interested. I work alone. Mostly.  
_ "Heh. It would practically be swapping like for like."  
_You for a bunch of fanatics? I don’t think so._  
"I mean company for company.”  
_Is that how you see it?  
_ “Maybe they wouldn’t p-put up with you…"  
_I wouldn't be able to get away with as much as I do with you?_  
"Huh."  
_Where are we going with this?_  
"It's like you said, they're probably fanatics, they've already gone this far in bringing you back, they're not just going to let you slip away now."  
  
She could feel Ocelot thinking, the weight of his mind heavy on her shoulders as he seemed to lean on her before answering: _Whomever is in charge is collected, this was planned a long time in advance and they haven't panicked and tried to steal me just yet, I think that's a good sign that we maybe able to communicate.  
_ "Communicate?"  
_Productively._  
"Oh, by the way, talking of productivity... You did really good work on our last mission, thank you."  
_Well… You're welcome.  
  
_ Sunny logged in to her computer and brought up notes she'd made on previous in-depth conversations with Ocelot. It was woefully under developed thanks to their absence and Sunny eyed up the document dubiously.  
“I think I’ll keep a record of this as well…” she murmured. Ocelot remained quiet as she typed up in short the most recent events, interjecting only when she covered what the two of them had discussed on their way home.  
_This is going to end up being a record of the present day, not the past._  
"Yeah... Sorry. We don't get much time to work on that project do we?"  
_Maybe it's for the best. We have enough of the past coming back to haunt us and cause problems as it is._  
“You want to solve them though? The problems?”  
_I don’t like unsolved problems in my life._ _They tend to get worse when left alone.  
  
_ “Meryl is coming to visit in May.” Sunny was curled back up at the window, voice muffled to nothing by the folds of the duvet. The night was clear and the temperature dropping quickly but the cool air on her face was refreshing and made the warmth wrapped around her all the more cosy.  
_Meryl? Oh yes, her. Lady with the gun fetish._  
"Wow." Sunny laughed, he coughed quietly.  
"She’s trying to find out more information for us and will be bringing what she finds."  
_Doesn’t sound like the Emmerich I remember…_  
She sighed. "He’s not. We’re not… In the same place, we’re not as safe as we were."  
_Sunny, are you being watched?_  
"Possibly… Probably. Hal’s… everyone knows how he is with computers, a few years ago, shortly after I was… After I was allowed to come back home and live with him… We had someone visit us about..." she shook her head. “Hal was given a choice, be locked down in house arrest, or help the military again as part of a Research and Development project, sort of a middle man between BBR and the army, that was the Jackal.”

 _He designed that?_  
“He helped design it. After the Jackal went to production the army pulled out of this base and moved further south, the airport was abandoned and the town was left behind, that's when Hal and I moved here and stayed on with BBR.”  
_I thought it seemed quiet around here._  
“BBR took over the airport and used the surrounding area as a test bed. The company expanded rapidly on the backs of Metal Gear, not just development but maintenance and refurbishment. We were left behind and Hal was still…” she hesitated. “Hal was still somewhat erratic back then, they probably thought he was a liability, so they took what they wanted and left. Part of the original deal was that we’d sit tight and mind our own business, he told me not to do anything… To push too far…” She sighed. “I had a list of things I wasn’t able to do on the computers any more.”  
_You were a prodigy, from what I've experienced you’ve not fallen behind._  
Sunny hid her face in the duvet. "I have… But… Sorry. I mean…"  
_So why did you end up with me, not in well... Intelligence or communications?_  
“What’s the point in being good at something if you’re just going to hurt the people you love with it? I stopped because if I didn’t I’d hurt Hal, besides… I just didn’t want that,” she gestured to her laptop. “To define me.”

“I think we’ll have to tell Meryl about you. She won’t like it though.”  
_Do you think she’ll be an issue?_  
“Maybe around the house. I don’t want to argue with her over this...”  
_You often fight?_  
“Not that often no. I owe Meryl a lot, if it hadn’t been for her I’d have probably ended up in an orphanage, but we don’t always see eye to eye. And she's kind of biased against older men as it is. You didn't... You didn't do anything to her, did you?”  
_Nothing._  
“I don’t want any unpleasant surprises.”  
Ocelot growled thoughtfully, Sunny hiccuped when her room vanished.  
  
\---  
  
Snake hung limply between his guards, chin bouncing off his chest as he was lugged along. Ocelot looked up along the chilly corridor to the woman standing at the end by the door. She looked up and flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder.

"Feeling up to some exercise?" she asked sullenly. Ocelot sighed out a cloud of condensation and trudged over to her until he could clearly meet the gaze of her green eyes.  
"Exercise?" He asked guardedly. "What did you have in mind?"  
She tilted her head and looked down at the stump of his arm. "Well we might need a third. That woman is out there still, she's alive."  
"The girl who escaped? I thought you'd killed her."  
"I had no reason to." Wolf shrugged her rifle into a more comfortable position across her back. "But she'll die if we leave her out there."  
Ocelot chuckled, "You have a soft heart, Wolf." But he stepped out into the cold anyway, the sniper trailing after him. "She's too heavy for you?"  
"I don't want to move her about too much."  
"Hmn." He raised the radio to his mouth and called for a stretcher. "And run it down," he added. "Quickly."  
  
The two sharpshooters stood side by side, observing as Meryl, trembling and bleeding was carefully lifted onto the stretcher and carried out of the snow, which was starting to fall more heavily now.  
"You know," Ocelot said, his eyes locked on the badly injured 18 year old as she was carried past, her unseeing eyes staring upwards. "If this passage wasn't cleared out regularly, I bet it wouldn't take long to fill up with snow." He looked back at Wolf, she was staring up at the dark grey sky. Snow clung to her eyelashes, ice glittered in her hair. Ocelot sighed. "Wolf…"  
"Don't you have an interrogation to attend to?"  
He frowned, "Didn't you want to see him before I started?"  
"I want to make sure the woman is secure first."  
"So do I."  
They scowled at each other, then Wolf shrugged. "Whatever you like." Continuing as she walked past him, "You're hovering, Ocelot, you know I don't like it when you do that."  
"I can't help it." He fell into step beside her.  
"You worry too much about the wrong people."  
"Who's the right person?" She flicked her wrist, too quick for him to dodge and clipped what was left of his wrist, he hissed and flinched back.  
"Are you taking those painkillers?"  
"They're too strong. I have work to do, I can't be sleeping on the job." If Wolf looked at him, he didn't see, he was staring at the ground. "More for the girl then, she'll need them.”  
"Make sure you can work. I want Snake alive."  
"Yeah yeah, I know." He grinned at her. "He must have impressed you."  
"He is… Intriguing."  
"Yeah I like him too."  
Wolf snorted, "I'm glad to know that won't get in the way of your work."  
"Almost makes it better." But he was wincing, it came out strained, he didn't miss Wolf's frown this time.  
  
The vision slipped, they weren't walking down cold corridors any more, but appeared to be in a medical wing.  
"The girl's in there." He nodded to one of the rooms, ignored Wolf's shake of her head and lead the way.  
  
Another slip, and Meryl went from a bloody mess to clean and wrapped up in bandages, from barely conscious to fast asleep. Wolf was idly tossing a roll of bandages from one hand to the other while Ocelot instructed a pair of guards to keep Meryl in the room and secure, that he had plans for her and wanted her untouched. He and Wolf left together then and Sunny found herself back in her own room, warm and safe.  
  
\---  
  
"What about later?"  
_Later?_  
"You said you had other plans for her? She ended up tied up on top of REX—"  
_Where Snake managed to miss her pulse, somehow._  
"So she—I mean I know she was alive, because she's with us today but, she was really okay?"  
_Knocked out. I had a couple of soldiers on hand to get her out of the way, one of them was Johnny, he couldn't seem to take his eyes off her most of the time. He went on to marry her right? Huh._  
"Revolver Ocelot, match maker... Still if that's all that happened...?"  
_It was._  
"She's definitely not going to drop anything on us? No torture?"  
_Certainly not._

"I'm serious, if you even stood around and made her listen to a bad stand up routine for an hour I want to know about it."  
_I told Snake her life was in my hands, and I meant it. Wolf and I took care of her wounds, she was taken out of harms way, she was fine.  
_ "Okay."  
_Okay?_  
"Yeah."  
  
_Biases._  
"What?"  
_You said Meryl was biased against older men, why?  
_ "Oh. That would be Roy."  
_Roy Campbell right?_  
"Let me guess, you knew him too?"  
He made a non-committal noise. _Sort of, two ships passing in the night kind of deal. Seemed like a good man._  
"I think he was, on the whole, but he was only human right?"  
_Aren't we all?_  
"Possibly. Well, the thing is, Roy passed himself off as Meryl's uncle for years, but he was her dad."  
_Ah._  
"I don't really profess to understand why but she was really really angry at him when she found out, I always thought it was a bit unfair putting all the blame on him, her mum played a role there too, but—" Sunny shrugged. "—I think there were some other issues there already."  
_That's all it is?_  
"No... After the event with Arsenal Gear, Jack—Raiden—kind of went off the rails. Rose ended up moving in with Roy and living with him as a couple, now Roy was quite a bit older than Rose and Meryl saw it as another flaw in his character."  
_That's not very reasonable, they were both adults._  
"That's how I see it, but I wouldn't tell her that. For a while it looked like it was a ruse anyway, to keep Rose and her son safe. She ended up getting back with Jack, but they kept living with Roy, he had a big enough house, they looked after each other. After he died Rose and Jack admitted they'd been in a polyamorous relationship almost the entire time. Meryl went nuclear."  
_I'll bet... Let me guess, still Roy's fault?_  
"Roy tried hard to patch things up with her, but every time they made progress it just fell apart at the next bump in the road."  
 _That's a shame._  
"Yeah... Yeah it was, Roy loved her, and I think it really hurt him."  
_So, an older man comes into your life and throws a wrench in the works. I can see your concerns.  
  
_ "Hey... Can I ask you something?"  
_I_ _wo_ _n't stop you._  
"You and Wolf seemed to get along pretty well, considering you betrayed the unit."  
_I'd known Wolf for a long time, before she was a part of FoxHound. She and I had a good relationship, more so than I had with the others._  
"Did you really worry about her?"  
_Yes._ He said shortly.  
"Would you have let Meryl die, if she hadn't asked for your help?"  
_I don't know, I thought she was already dead, I might not have checked._  
"Well, then I'm glad she asked for help."  
_No... She didn't._  
"Huh?"  
_If she had, she might still be alive_ _—_ _Goodnight Sunny._  
"Oh... Okay. Goodnight, Ocelot and Merry Christmas too I suppose."  
_You too.  
  
_ Sunny collapsed on her bed and kicked her covers out straight. She gazed mutely into the darkness as fatigue ate away at her consciousness and as she drifted off, eyelids drooping. As the room unfocused, a shadow solidified and thinking a figure had come in by the door Sunny was immediately disturbed, she jerked awake and flicked on the reading light by her bed.  
_Something wrong?_ Ocelot responded to her unease.  
“No, just seeing things…”  
_Just tiredness._  
"Yeah probably. Sorry…"  
_For what?_  
"You're sad, I can feel it... I shouldn't have brought up those memories."  
_Sunny…_  
"Yeah?"  
_Sleep well, m’dear._


	23. Projecting

“ _You aren’t a caged bird,  you’re not as trapped as you feel.  You’re not as alone as you assume.  I promise_.”

—  
Nicole Torres (ntorres-writtenemotions.tumblr.com/)

 

 

“Boss wants to see you, says it’s important.”  
Sunny leant back from the controls with a sigh. "Alright. Thanks."  
  
After finding any excuse to pick at their performance in their debriefing, Mr Lewis had left them alone and unattached for weeks. Sunny had started to hope he’d back off for good and they would soon be able to focus on their work, not on him leaning over their shoulders. Ocelot however had remained leery and his instinct had turned out accurate. They’d been picked out for hours of tiresome repetitive drills and new test patterns for the engineers to pour over, Ocelot grumbled but behaved impeccably, giving each new task his all, only to curse it after completion. It was never enough for Mr Lewis, who found them wanting no matter what they did. R&D shook their heads in sympathy and had them run through test plans again and again to eradicate imaginary errors. Meanwhile the message Ashlee had passed onto them weeks previously hung over their heads, unaddressed and threatening and chaffed their nerves.  
  
Sunny made her way up to the office, rubbing dashboard cleaning fluid off her hands onto her overalls. In her head she recited their joint request to join the routine patrols that passed by the base. Just some of the time at least, for some of the trip? Please? Anything but more drills, we’re both developing cabin fever. At the very least, she willed, give us good news. She went to knock on the door. Please be something good or at least different, I can't handle hearing another monologue if we have to do that obstacle course one more time.  
  
“Sunny Gurlukovich-Emmerich!” He greeted exuberantly, Sunny smiled and resisted the urge to clench her jaw. “I’m sure you have something to say about these tedious tasks they have the two of you running—" As if it wasn’t him ordering them. "—Such is the life of a test pilot I’m afraid! I thought what I have to say might offer you a good change of pace?”  
  
Mr Lewis flashed her a tight lipped smile, stood up from his desk and turned away, stepping up to the window and staring out through a gap in the blinds. Outside the Wildcat sat on the apron, almost frozen in place, watching two of the security GEKKO stalking around the inside of the parameter. Sunny saw Mr Lewis’ reflection narrow his eyes and she resolutely set her own expression before he turned back to her.  
  
“It's not entirely good news however. As I’m sure you know, there was a disturbance recently that's had the attention of our friends in the armed forces. Part of the same group whose REX you so successfully took out of action, have been making moves on a checkpoint, just west of the one you passed through I believe. The current defences at that point are inadequate. There isn't a Metal Gear threat currently, but they do apparently have heavy artillery. The Army has required the lone of our Red Jackal and the Wildcat, they were so—” he paused, “—impressed by you last time they'd like to see how you cope with this situation. This is important to us, Emmerich!” He sneered. “We need to show that even the prototype is sound, a worthy investment of their money. You and the Jackal are being deployed with an 8 GEKKO contingent and ground support to put an end to this debacle. You will handle it calmly and precisely as expected of a, ha, BBR employee.”  
“Yes sir,” she nodded sharply. “I will inform the Wildcat immediately.”  
  
_I need to know you can handle this._  
“I can handle this.”  
_Are you sure, this isn't going to be like last time?_  
“I’ve seen-I’ve helped-T-t-that is I…” She coughed. "I'll be fine!"  
_Sunny, this is going to be people, visible people._ _And we’re a long way from home, we know people are after us._ _If you can't handle th_ _is_ _—_  
"Ocelot—"  
_If you can't handle it, let me know, leave it to me, or we'll get out of there._  
“I-I… Okay.”  
_Good girl. I don’t mean to be patronising, but you are rather inexperienced, I don’t want to have to handle a case of histrionics._  
“T-this is you n-not being patronising?”  
He sniggered. _I said I didn’t mean to be, not that I wasn’t._  
“Liar..." She shook her head, but the tension lifted a bit. "You know, right now I’m more worried about what’s going to happen tonight, than in a few days.”  
_Tonight? Oh. Yes._  
  
Sunny tried her best to go unnoticed when she got home. Hal had taken the day off to greet their visitors on their arrival, so Sunny had the car and she made a point of parking further down the road than usual. She turned the key in the front door as slowly and carefully as she could, pausing at the click before slinking into the house. She’d made it half way up the stairs before she was spotted. A woman's voice called out to her and she froze in place.  
  
“Sunny!” She tried not to slump and made herself smile before turning. Meryl was peering around the bottom of the stairs at her. Her smile didn't reach her eyes. “Avoiding us?”  
“No!” Sunny half laughed half squeaked. “I’m just a mess and wanted to wash up before I joined you.”  
The older woman nodded. “Come back down soon, we have a lot to talk about.”  
She was still smiling but a frown appeared on her brow and Sunny inwardly cringed. “Yes... An awful lot, I’ll b-be right back.”  
  
Sunny stripped and tripped into the shower, keening when the cold water hit her head.  
_It’s usually a good idea to warm the water up first._  
“Go away I’m washing.”  
_We don’t have a lot of time._  
“I swear you have no concept of personal space.”  
_I’m talking inside your head how much personal space can I give you?_  
Sunny leant her head against the tiles and focused on the warming water drumming between her shoulder blades. “Meryl knows about you.”  
_Yes._  
“I’m not interested in what she has to say right now.”  
_No?_  
“No, as rude as that sounds we have more on our plate than her opinion of you and us. It can wait.”  
_You’re being very calm about this. You were worrying earlier._  
“I know, but you're right, we don't have much time. There's no point in panicking,” she said softly. “Hal will probably be doing that for me anyway.”  
_Ah. I stand corrected: you're resigned._  
“Heh. Leave me alone for ten minutes old man.”  
_Charming… Fine! 5 minutes._  
“You are so needy!” she hissed.  
  
Sunny could hear only hushed and rapidly spoken conversation when she padded down the hall from the shower to her bedroom. She wasn’t able to make out the words but it didn’t sound like a happy discussion about life in the Silverburg house. She sighed when she distinctly heard Johnny say: "I really hope you don't want me to have anything to do with him again."  
She closed the door to her room behind her and rubbed her eyes wearily. “Please don’t let us be the only subject of discussion tonight…”  
_If they start repeating themselves you could just excuse yourself._  
“That wasn’t 10 minutes.”  
_5\. My clock is perfect._  
“I said—”  
_I know. I didn’t listen._  
“Obviously. You—!”  
  
The small group gathered downstairs all hushed in response to a small scream from upstairs and blinked at Hal. He stood up and leant up the stairs.  
“Sunny?” Hal called up to her hesitantly. “Honey are you okay?”  
  
Sunny snapped out her shock for long enough to answer. “I’m fine, I just stepped on a plug, that’s all!”  
“I told you to keep your room tidy!”  
“Yeah I know…! Ocelot how d-did you do t-that?”  
Do what? He asked, the epitome of innocence.  
Hal called back. “Are you nearly ready?”  
“I-I’ll be down in a bit! That! _”_ She hissed, poked the mirror and left a smudge.  
_I didn’t do anything._  
“I saw you, right there!” She pointed at the mirror again. “B-behind me, how?”  
He made a vague noise. _Nh, waking you up all those mornings, I kept seeing my own shadow when you opened your eyes, you weren’t registering it_ _—_ _probably half asleep._ He sniffed. _I was trying to figure out what it was and how I could control it._  
“That was you I’ve been seeing at night?” she whispered.  
_Yeah… It’s hard to practice things like that without you knowing._  
“W-why didn’t you want me too—”  
_No point in showing it off until I can control it._  
Sunny swallowed a nervous smile.  
_No jokes please._

“Show me?” She peered suspiciously at the mirror and hugged her towel closer on impulse. He gave a heavy sigh and a moment later a sensation of pressure manifested on her shoulder, shortly thereafter a slightly blurred image of a man appeared behind her in the mirror, his hand on her shoulder. Ocelot shimmered out of focus around the edges and he was apparently having trouble with legs and feet as he faded out entirely below the knees. The most jarring defect in the image however was that he had, as of yet, no grasp on the concept of shadows. He was pasted onto his surroundings like a flat sticker, an effect that was further exaggerated by the warm orange light from her reading lamp that illuminated everything but him. Sunny turned quickly, but he wasn’t there.

 _I can’t keep up._ He snarled. _Slow down._  
Sunny looked back at the mirror and waited for him to reconstitute, when he did she turned slowly. At first there was an unfortunate skipping effect as he remained in her line off sight off the mirror, then vanished, only to reappear closer up when she’d actually turned to where he would be, had he been tangible.  
_I’m not here. Obviously. So… Sunny stop moving me around the room with your eyes._  
“I can’t help it…”  
_Yes you can, stand still, focus on that wall, you’re making me dizzy._  
“Hehheh. This is cool... and weird. Do you have to have your hand on my shoulder?”  
_No, but it helps me focus, I’m used to simulating touch, not image, but it’s basically the same thing. There has to be a better way of doing this_ _though_ _._  
“You need to work on um… You look like a hazy cardboard cut out.”  
He huffed and vanished with a roll of his eyes. There was no fade out, a slight after image maybe, but no fanfare, he was just gone.  
_Don’t mention it to those downstairs, they have enough to worry them._  
“Should _I_ be worried?”  
_Why should you be?_  
“The stronger you get the more concerning you become to be quite honest.”  
  
She glanced back at the mirror mounted on the inside of her wardrobe and grabbed some clothes before pushing the door closed with her foot, she’d already turned the small mirror on her sideboard to face the wall and never bothered to turn it back. As usual Ocelot giggled at her paranoia with mirrors.  
_I thought we agreed to trust each other? Hmn? I’m not up to anything sinister, I promise._  
“That isn’t comforting coming from you.”  
_Suit yourself._  
“What’s the point in that,” she waved her hand. “Projection anyway? You can’t see me like that right? Aren't you basically just looking at yourself through my eyes?”  
_Mirrors._  
“Mirrors? Ugh these jeans…”  
_Maybe you’ve put on weight._  
“With the stress you cause me? Go on, mirrors?” she collapsed on the bed to tug on her trousers.  
Your image has been consistent whenever you've come to see me in VR. I have become aware that mine is not.  
“I never noticed?"  
_You don't live with it._  
"Fluctuating sense of identity?”  
_Possibly. Probably in fact. It disturbs me._  
Finally winning her battle with her flies Sunny looked around for socks. “I can imagine…”  
_How often would you say you looked in the mirror?_  
“I’m not sure… 4, 5 times a day? Depends on what’s going on I suppose.”  
_And each time you refresh your mental image of who you are, of how you look to others, maybe not perfectly, the human mind is infamous for misleading itself, but in general terms: you have a strong memory of your appearance,_ _and more, your very identity, seeing what you expect to see is important to a person._  
“Surely you have memories of mirrors though?”  
_Of course, and they have their uses but they are, lets face it, mostly limited to images of me fixing my moustache in the mornings._  
“Did that take long?”  
_Depends on how I slept. That_ _is_ _a tangent, stay on topic._  
“If you want to be able to see yourself, that’s fine.”  
_Really?_  
“Yes, but work on the shadows and lighting will you?”  
_Of course._  
“And I won’t tell anyone.” Someone called her from downstairs. "One moment!"

 

 _You really think it’s cool?_  
“Ocelot you can project a moving image of yourself directly into my head and make it look like you’re really in the room! Almost. That’s incredible. I want to study this myself! You might have discovered something really useful here, not just for us but in terms of all long-distance communication!”  
_Quiet. They’ll hear you. But now that you mention it, yes, there’s no good reason only an AI should be able to do this. Unless_ _there is some_ _limitation_ _I’m not accounting for—_ _but it doesn’t seem so different from you accessing my VR?_  
“Presumably not, though I have never established whether other people are capable of doing that as successfully. I don’t mean… It’s just that I have such an…”  
_You’re very used to computers._  
“…Yes.” she nodded, heading downstairs. "Do me a favour, keep quiet while I’m down there?"  
_Of course._

 

\---

 

“You two were up late last night.” Hal raised that week’s print outs clutched in his hand.  
The Wildcat's teeth glinted as it turned into the light. “How do you know it was both of us? It might just have been me—I don’t need sleep in quite the same way you do Doctor.” The Wildcat swung its head down to stare somewhat cross-eyed at Hal. Ocelot’s grating voice suited the machine, Hal reflected.  
“I heard her talking.”  
“Hehheh, she does give it away.”  
“I can’t believe they’re sending you out again already…”  
“It’s been months. I can't believe they've kept us here so long.”  
“I suppose.”  
  
The Metal Gear flexed its shoulders and shivered early morning dew off its cold skin, Hal raised a hand to stop his face getting splashed and when he looked up he was practically nose to nose with the Wildcat. His heart caught in his throat.  
“Besides. I’ll look after her.” Ocelot purred.  
“You’d better. I take it you heard what was said last night?”  
“Meryl? Something on the lines of taking a blowtorch to offending parties if anything goes wrong.” The Wildcat flexed its claws. “I’m not the one putting Sunny into these situations I might point out, and she chose to be here, not I.”  
“You think I’m going to defend you?”  
“No, of course not. I expected Meryl to be more vehement in her dislike of me, but she was rather quiet—didn’t you think? I’m glad, neither Sunny nor I need additional weight on our minds.”  
“She’s in shock, she thought you were dead. You weren’t supposed to be a problem any more. I'm more impressed at how Johnny handled it.”  
The Wildcat bristled, numerous antenna and whiskers flexing. “Have I been a problem, Doctor?”  
“…Maybe inadvertently.”  
“Unforgiving man,” he chuckled. “You know, you didn’t seem so happy last night yourself.”  
Hal frowned and made a dismissive gesture, “Of course not, I didn’t want this—”  
“Not about Sunny. Mrs and Mr Silverburg.”  
“I... I’m that obvious huh?"  
"Just a little bit. Envious are we?"  
"Maybe. I know it’s selfish, I can’t help it.”  
  
Ocelot's reply didn’t come immediately. Instead the Wildcat turned to look across the apron to the hanger, with its doors wide open. It was bustling with early morning activity and the Jackal was being finished up for the upcoming trip. It sat precariously on its haunches, shining bloody red and cruel beak glinting like a set of massive shears.  
  
“That’s the way we’re built,” he said finally, voice dropping into the closest he could manage to a mumble. “I managed to start something of a feud based on the same problem.”  
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”  
“She got her revenge, no worries there, but it is daft isn’t it? Once we have our hearts set on someone it can be so hard to let go.”  
“I tried to establish other relationships! But it never worked out and it’s been so long… I know there are questions about him that they, Meryl, Johnny, Rose... All of them. Want to ask... But don't. They don’t know how far it went, but it doesn’t matter if they ask, I don’t think they’d understand, I don't think I could explain. It was never simple... I..." He stopped himself and looked up cringing at the machine staring down at him, words dying in his throat.  
"It's never simple." Ocelot echoed back.  
"Does it ever stop hurting?”  
“Why are you asking me?”  
“Because..." He swallowed. "Maybe, if I’d thought there’d been a way to save Solid Snake... I would have...” He looked down. "If I'd had the hope that he could have the life he deserved... Maybe I wouldn't have been so different to you."  
“I don't think so."  
"Huh?"  
"You're not like me, and Solid Snake wouldn't have wanted that anyway."  
"No... Maybe... I…"  
"And I don’t know if it stops naturally. I would guess not. It doesn’t hurt for me any more, but I feel it should do, the hole its left is... Sizeable.”  
"Hole?"  
The Wildcat shifted back on its haunches and stared resolutely out through the doors.  
  
Hal played with the top of his cane, then let his gaze drop to the ground to study the crazing pattern in the well worn concrete, it needed relaying.  
“The two of you…”  
The Wildcat’s head tilted.  
“You must have been close?”  
Again that long pause before he answered.  
"I don't know."  
Hal's mouth opened a little in shock, before he could croak out more than a few syllables Ocelot started talking again.  
"I'm sure the other me was confident that we were, but from my point of view? I had hoped we would become closer than we did, and I made myself believe there was something there that there wasn't."  
"Oh…"  
"If you wanted to know, I always envied how close you and Snake became. I wouldn’t have expected it if anyone had asked me back on Shadow Moses.”  
“I’ve never been so close to anyone else, for ten years where he was, was home… He was my best friend," he chewed thoughtfully on his lip. “Ocelot can I ask you a question?” He asked slowly.  
“More questions? Go on.”  
“How was Big Boss with… Other men?”  
“Flirtatious. At least for a while. He grew into that, then out of that and everything else too if it didn’t involve combat and warfare.”  
“I thought you might say that.”  
“Why? Was Snake—”  
“I don’t know! I never asked. I never asked, he never said, and it turned out not to matter anyway; I often wonder if I did the right thing. Not asking, not bringing it up.”  
“I didn’t realise… I’m sorry.”  
Hal looked up sharply, “You are?”  
“Yes. I understand too well how hard it can be when feelings are mismatched.”

Hal smiled and sniffed. “It would have been better for Sunny if he’d lived… Better for all of us I think. I’ll um... Try to stop Meryl coming after you, or calling in a SWAT team, but I am glad she’s here.”  
“That's kind of you... But why do you want her here?"  
“She's honest and straightforward. Mellowed out a lot over the years too. I'd never tell her, but she takes after her father. She's good to have around. Always thought Sunny could use a woman’s influence in her life anyway,” he smiled and shrugged. “Snake and I were hopeless influences, but Naomi seemed to do a good job, I mean she taught Sunny to cook eggs, kind of, that’s more than we could do.”  
“You’re right you are hopeless." Ocelot drawled. "I don’t think Sunny needs a female influence particularly though, and even if she did, I'm sure she could decide that for herself.”  
“No. No I know. I think I forget she's... Really grown up."  
“You want to protect her, that’s understandable.”  
  
"Oh! Meryl did have some news for us, seems a Metal Gear was under development in Russia a few years back about the time—about the time MB-AIs went out of fashion, there was a rush to cover it up though when the research centre was attacked and most of the data stolen, one of the attackers was killed by GEKKO in the initial strike. Most Metal Gear research centres have them for defence,” he quickly explained. “The terrorist they caught on video was a woman, the cameras in the place were knocked out so she was the only example of the group they had, but she was dressed in the same uniform Liquid Ocelot’s FROG soldiers and Outer Haven troops wore.”  
“Otselotovaya Khvatka?”  
“Very possibly. Ocelot can you shed any insight into what they might be doing?”  
“I have been considering it, but I’m not sure yet. I’ll be sure to tell you if I think of anything substantial. But I thought it looked like they'd taken hardware from the Chinese?"  
"It looks like the AI you're based on was Chinese, but the Russians were working on the morphing body plan that you have."  
"Huh... Should have guessed the Chinese would supply the brains of the outfit." He laughed and Hal frowned in confusion. "Sorry, inside joke. We leave tonight is that correct?”  
“What? Oh, yes, that’s right.”  
“Good.” The Wildcat surged to its feet. “I'm getting bored around here, and they've upgraded my cannon, it's about time I got to try it out in combat!”  
“Does it make up for the ones you lost?” Hal called up, gesturing towards the back-mounted gun that swivelled smoothly with the Wildcat’s change in gaze direction.  
“A poor replacement for a Colt,” Ocelot replied. “But I can bear it.”  
“Good. It was expensive, don’t break it.”  
“Would I?”  
“Every time Snake asked that it cost me money. Please, come back in one piece, both of you.”  
“I survived this long didn't I?"  
"No. You died.”  
"Oh. Well I suppose that's fair."


	24. Seeing Red

" _I could not foresee this thing happening to you_  
_If I look hard enough into the setting sun_  
_My love will laugh with me before the morning comes_ "

\--

Paint it Black

 

Hal poked his nose into one of the engineers' break rooms, a handful of slightly smudgy grumpy faces turned his way, pausing mid-sip of tea and coffee. "Have any of you seen Bran?"  
"Check the refectory?" One said shortly.  
Hal shook his head, "He's not there, none of the other pilots have seen him today."  
A woman at the back of the room swallowed a mouthful of biscuit. "Saw him heading home early yesterday, no, tell a lie, day before yesterday."  
"Ill?"  
She shrugged and everyone else just looked around or shrugged.  
Hal thanked them and left. Day before yesterday, he could just be ill, he'd check with payroll.

  
\---

  
Whatever this ramshackle place straddling the road used to be, it wasn’t any more. The wooden shack splintered and caved in, moaning and popping as the irresistible mass of the caterpillar truck barged through its northernmost corner. The GEKKO following hopped across the remains, swathed in dust. The remains of a roadblock were crushed into the earth by the Jackal’s broad foot, behind it the Wildcat proceeded with more care. Sunny was picking her way through the buildings carefully, leaving Ocelot to scan the area cautiously for threats. Above them the sky was burnt blue and behind them the air was choked with kicked up dust. Nothing bigger than than a rat dashed out of the old buildings, and there wasn't even so much as a discarded car nearby. There were regular updates over the radio, each ending with a reminder for them to stay alert, but so far the day had been uneventful. To Sunny’s relief Ocelot remained peaceable, the militarized expedition and the sense of anticipation and risk in the air boosting his mood with its familiarity. He chatted, mostly to himself, and his voice was a pleasant backdrop to the slow progress they were making.  
  
Then he was cut off, as without warning slivers of wood, stone and copious amounts of dust and clods of earth exploded out of what had been a building. The sound was dulled by the cockpit shielding but Sunny could still hear and feel the blast. As the smoke dissipated it became clear that one of the trucks had been turned over and damaged by the explosion. A GEKKO had been thrown into its side, kicking its torn up legs and squealing in panic. A solitary figure could be seen pulling itself from within the torn up canopy of the truck, having missed being struck by the bulk of the GEKKO’s body.  
  
“Road mine?”  
_In a building? AMED?_  
"Too small for that I think, they're not usually that sensitive either, maybe it was some live ammunition left behind…"  
The Wildcat gingerly took a step away from the clutter around the buildings. That it wasn't likely to be a road mine had apparently occurred to the rest as well as two men ran over to help the survivor of the explosion. Sunny and the Jackal's pilot were wary of letting their machines walk among unseen explosive devices, if that had been a faulty AMED there could be others in the vicinity. They turned their Metal Gear aside to detour away from the roadsides. The other GEKKO mooed and started to investigate the buildings, manipulator arms snaking through broken windows to look for threats.  
  
The two reaching for their comrade were interrupted when a strange machine, disturbed by the friendly GEKKO, tore out of a canvas and plywood pile and leapt for them. It was a dusty camouflaged, yellow detailed, strange GEKKO that stood up tall to the sound of enraged cicadas. The hair stood up on the back of Sunny’s neck.  
“That's a suicide GEKKO…!”  
With a careless bounce it reached the carcass of the explosion damaged GEKKO and the truck. The unfortunate survivor was crushed under its toes and before the others could retreat a flash of its spurs tossed them aside, they skidded to the ground, bloody and twitching. The GEKKO bellowed angrily at its fate as it circled about on the spot, a bright light started to flash on the side of its broad head.  
  
The Jackal turned aside and strode away from the danger, the Wildcat however lunged forwards. With a toss of its head it sent the GEKKO flying, where it detonated in mid air. Shrapnel rattled against the thick armour of its pitcher but did little else. They turned back to their companions as another unseen GEKKO detonated in its hiding place, the blast occurred almost right under the Jackal’s foot and pushed it off balance, it toppled to one knee. The smoke clung to the road and hid their allies. Ocelot grunted in frustration and they sprung aside to avoid being a threat to their own comrades—or threatened by the unseen.  
  
_There's more of them._  
Sunny looked where he indicated, out on the port side there were indeed GEKKO. She saw them bounding over the rolling earth, but they appeared to be the normal variety.  
_They're not ours._  
The targeting HUD snapped into view, crisp over the hazy landscape, it moved smoothly down and onto the approaching GEKKO nearest the friendly troops and Sunny fired. Ocelot’s aim was true, the GEKKO’s head jerked back and for a moment its sausage like legs tried to go on without the rest of it. It toppled backwards spasming in the dirt, one flailing leg tripping its closest companion, which mooed pathetically as it stumbled. Then the tripped GEKKO picked up speed again in time for a second bullet to be put through its mainframe and it ploughed into the ground. The Wildcat’s shoulders shivered as the wisps of smoke around the gun dispersed.  
  
“Did you see that?”  
_Two heads dropping down behind that ridge?_  
Sunny looked back towards the road and the soldiers and GEKKO trying to get to open ground and away from the suddenly sinister buildings. The Jackal was back on its feet and was picking off the remaining suicide GEKKO before they could blow.  
“Lets make sure they’re not walking into a trap.”  
_Be careful my dear, it might be us they're after._  
"Go carefully then, if it's just a few GEKKO I think we can handle it, but any sign of trouble…"  
_Then we'll get out of there._  
The Wildcat turned and stalked along the road, then slithered down into surprisingly deep dip the hiding GEKKO had ducked down into. A large shell had hit here in the past, presumably fired by a REX. The Wildcat fit into it comfortably, with enough room to spare in which to lunge forwards and crunch one of the GEKKO between its jaws. Sunny cringed at the robot's cries fell silent.  
Then came the warning.

A red light flashed on the dashboard and Sunny looked up at the flashing triangle at the top right on the HUD.INCOMING MISSILE! The Wildcat turned sharply, forcing Sunny back into her seat. They fired their machine guns to blast the missile out of the sky, but missed. Sunny pulled the Wildcat to the side but they weren't fast enough and the missile struck the Metal Gear in the side. Ocelot twisted away, which absorbed some of the blow, and turned the twist into a full movement that displayed a smaller target to their unknown enemy. When the second barrage came they were ready for it. Together they were able to take out most of the missiles before they hit, but one got through while Ocelot swore at the over-heat cut-off on the machine guns. It struck the Wildcat on the back on the head, and Sunny felt her own head whip forward and back as the cockpit dropped suddenly. Mud thudded against the windscreen from the impact with the ground. The Wildcat straightened up and Sunny looked up at the HUD, this time Ocelot had managed to track the source of the attack. A red marker indicated the direction of their foe. Between being hit by the first missile and getting upright now however smoke bombs had been set off, the wall of smoke obscured the battle site wholly but for a vague approaching silhouette.

 _Metal Gear!?_  
“Where was that hiding?”  
_Octocamo?_  
A swarm of bullets streamed through the smoke towards them and rattled off their armour, the Wildcat turned its head to protect the windscreen and hissed.  
ARMING! The HUD informed.  
Ocelot growled in the back of her head and Sunny flexed her wrists and readied her hands on the controls.  
ARMED! The reticle constricted on the vague image, Ocelot’s targeting system locked on and Sunny flicked the cages up on the controls and hit the red buttons. Missiles were arcing up from the Wildcat's silos and a second later the Wildcat rocked back on its heels as its cannon fired in quick succession. If their opponent's attention was taken up by deflecting the missiles, if the bombardment was successful, they didn’t see. As the Wildcat was thrown sideways suddenly and there was a horrible teetering moment as it tried to regain its balance on one foot, then a second blow and they were overbalancing. The Wildcat fell and slammed bodily into the ground. High stress warnings popped up for the port shoulder and hip but vanished again quickly enough. Sunny grit her teeth, what hadn’t vanished was the caution for the starboard knee. Whatever had hit them had hit them hard. She shook herself and started to right the Metal Gear, only to be thrown about in her seat when the cockpit jumped suddenly.  
  
The Wildcat’s head was slammed into the ground for the third time as their opponent leapt down upon them. Sunny fired the cannon, but from the extreme angle they were trapped at, it missed. The clawed foot pressing down on the Wildcat’s upper jaw took more of the enemy Metal Gear’s impressive weight and there was an ominous CRACK.

Ocelot cried out and the whole Wildcat convulsed as he tried to get away, but the ground was crumbling away under them and the Wildcat just slipped deeper into the crater. The other Metal Gear just adjusted itself each time the Wildcat started to get away from it. There was a series of loud bangs and rivets popped and burst out from inside the Wildcat's mouth, its tail slammed into the ground and it kicked. Sunny realised that the Wildcat was unable to release one trapped forearm from underneath its own bulk and the loose ground just slipped away with each attempt to pull away. She took control of their movements and stopped Ocelot from struggling, a flash of pain turned her vision white and red and for a moment her teeth were being ground together. Then she shut him out and started to pull the Wildcat's feet under its body, taking control of the situation.  
  
There were sounds Sunny couldn’t place. The world was upside down and her vision obscured by dust and mud, smoke and shadow. Warning lights and audible alerts were going mad in the cockpit, further addling her already impact-muddled head. She felt the Wildcat start to lift itself as there there was another terrible rending sound.  
  
Sunny’s head snapped up as the sound thundered loudly above her—the area which had been the right hand side of the cockpit—the ringing in her ears started to subside, replaced by screaming metal. A voice over the radio was trying to hail her, but she didn’t understand over the noise.  
“Ocelot did you catch that?” she cried, but no intelligible answer came, just another violent tremor. Her head cracked against the restraints and further sent her world into a spin. Nausea rose in her gut and she shook her head, only to nearly puke. Sunny was gulping down smoky air when the hazy image appeared before her, Ocelot was leaning over her, mouth moving as if he was shouting, but his voice sounded indistinct and distant. A buzzing sound filled her ears.  
"We have to get up!" She called back and his face twisted into an expression she didn't recognise, all wide eyes and a flash of teeth, his nostrils flared and he looked upwards.  
  
Then the sound of tortured metal stopped, the buzzing sound became interspersed by cracking sounds and half the dash went dark. Ocelot's image looked back down at her, stricken, then vanished. Sunny squinted through the fog that she was starting to suspect was all in her head and saw bearing down on her two immense blue lights, the eyes of the enemy Metal Gear. The Wildcat's engine coughed and spluttered, fear constricted her breathing and tightened its grip as she realised she was looking up at the enemy through a tear in the canopy.  
  
The enemy Metal Gear crouched over them. One giant clawed foot pinned the Wildcat by the throat. Its spiked jaws were thrust into the damaged seam between canopy and jaw and starting to wedge it open, like perverted jaws of life. With a pop and crack the thick windscreen finally gave up and crumpled inwards on the assaulted side. Sunny had been frozen looking up through the tear, but the sagging panes snapped her back into the present. She lunged at the controls from her position, leant awkwardly on her side and quickly started to reboot the computers, skipping the start up checks.  
_Sunny!_  
She pushed the throttle forwards and the Wildcat surged against the other Metal Gear, hydraulic muscles screaming as it tried to push upwards and away. Ocelot growled and dug in his claws. Above them the other machine snarled and pushed back, trying to retain its position. The Wildcat’s muzzle ruptured with a terrifying crack, the dashboard buckled, a fragment hitting Sunny and slamming her against the chair where she sat dazedly looking at the monitors, some hanging on by nothing more than cables and bonding leads. Ocelot howled and heaved upwards on his front limbs, the other Metal Gear stumbled backwards.  
  
Attempting to stand while the other was still wobbling revealed how far their problems went. A wave of dizziness hit Ocelot and he sank backwards. His back legs not responding correctly. Trying to assess the damage in cockpit as well as in his limbs. His sensors told him there was unusually high electrical resistance, indications of discharge... A servo was unresponsive, but there was too much and no time and lord knows it wasn’t supposed to hurt, but it did! His whole face felt like it had been smashed in. Ocelot stumbled backwards, away from the larger Metal Gear as it started to step back. There was no point in hoping it was retreating from its mangled opponent. The Wildcat was unable to move properly or open fire, and to Ocelot's distress he wasn't getting any response from the cockpit. He turned his gaze inwards and the dust scratched camera whirred around, miraculously undamaged. Sunny was slumped back against her chair, eyes unfocused. She was conscious, but barely.  
_Sunny... Wake up...!_  
  
Sunny blinked slowly, something buzzed at the back of her head and she groggily shook her head to dislodge it, pain exploded behind her eyes and she covered her face with a moan. She didn't see the cockpit getting invaded by a thick snaking manipulator arm. When it brushed against her arm Sunny’s instinct was to shrink away from the unknown threat, but something invisible seemed to take a hold of her and keep her still. The arm tore away her restraints and nimbly detached the straps across her chest.  
_Take hold!_  
Sunny stared blankly and uncomprehendingly at the dark grey tendril. Despite her own intentions, she grabbed at the arm and clung tightly to it as it coiled about her and snatched her from her seat and out of the cockpit. The height she was at was indeterminable as the world spun, she closed her eyes tightly with a sob and didn't look. The sense of pressure around her waist lifted suddenly and her arms let go of their own accord. Something hit her hard and she rolled to a stop. Winded and gasping for breath Sunny slowly started to realise she was on the ground. Her ears were ringing, stars dancing in front of her vision, which was slowly clearing to reveal the bloody red monster towering over her. The Jackal. Outside of the safety of the cockpit Sunny was struck by its enormity, she screamed before she could stop herself and its head turned slightly. Its beak, made up of two narrow blades for ripping into armour, was sunk deep into the back of the Wildcat’s neck. The thick belts inside the composite coverings had snarled into its cutting edge. It looked straight down at her, then the its jaws slowly opened, releasing its opponent. Sunny lurched sideways, half crawling half rolling away as the Wildcat was dropped to its knees and it slowly toppled sideways, brilliant blue headlamps dull, system unresponsive. No longer a place of safety, it was a wall of crushing weight bearing down on her. Sunny cried out, covered her head with her hands uselessly and flung herself down. A wave of loose earth hit her and beat her to the ground. The massive head coming to a stop a few yards away from where she'd fallen. She stared at it in horror, twisted and broken, utterly silent and stooped over it like a vulture was one of their own.  
"I-I—?"  
  
\---  
  
PARTIAL SYSTEM FAILURE.

REBOOTING…

SS-SHHHH…

SYSTEMS ONLINE.

SNNY…?

PERFORMING BITE CHECK.

SUNNY?

PROGRESS: 10%

…

PROGRESS: 40%

ARE YOU…------- ARE YOU THERE?

PROGRESS: 70%

MY HEAD…

PROGRESS: 100%.

WARNING!

 

\---  
  
Sunny screamed again as the Jackal took a sweeping step forwards, and in that moment hard hands grabbed her from behind. She kicked and tried to pull away, but she could barely move without her head feeling like it was about to split open and she cried out in pain as much as fear as the two strangers pulled her away. Pain or fear, there was no one there to hear her cries for help and answer them. She was tossed into the back of a truck and the door slammed in her face. Not that she was in any position to run as she curled up in a ball and clutched at her head with a wordless moan.  
  
"Ocelot..." the rushing sound in her ears started to subside as she felt the truck lurch. Sunny uncurled and stared uncomprehendingly at the blood on her hands as she stumbled to her feet.  
“Ocelot!” She hooked her fingers through the wire mesh in the door. Below the truck, which was on the rim of the crater, the stricken Metal Gear lay prone, sprawled out on its side. The Wildcat was almost entirely hidden from the road there and Sunny realised with horror that she had no idea what had happened to the others, if anyone was alive or if they'd seen the Wildcat fall away from the road, did anyone know to even start looking for them yet? She rattled the wire mesh in hope that it might be shaken free, it didn't work and ignoring the demands that she be quiet she threw herself against the door. The door creaked, but held firm, but the pain in her head flared up angrily in response and she had to stop. Slowly becoming aware of the aches in other parts of her body but too scared and desperate to escape to stop and assess the damage. Through squinting watering eyes and the wire mesh she saw the Wildcat prop itself up. Moving erratically the Metal Gear dragged its front legs under it, jaws shaking and failing to close.  
He’s u-up… Oh t-thank yo—“Ocelot…! Oc-celot!”  
  
Ocelot slowly raised his head, feeling newly disturbed valves in his throat closing off as fluids were rerouted safely, and metal popping and creaking as it was lifted from its resting place. The nanobots were going mad trying to fix what they could, but Ocelot didn’t need a mirror to know he was a mess. He turned, head swinging far too fast and out of control. Instantly a surge of nanobots rushed to the scene, a restrictor valve was stuck but they could fix that. Realising he was half blind he switched to different cameras and continued to sweep the ground.  
_How long was I out?_  
He couldn’t see Sunny, but he could feel her. She was alive, but injured. There were tracks. Tracks from deeply treaded tires leading towards him then away again over the crest of the crater. There, still retreating, the vehicle itself just beyond the rise. Silence reigned, he hadn’t been able to hear the engine, so, his hearing was damaged too. He scanned wider and his communications system came back positive, she was in that truck. He surged upwards on shaking limbs and lunged after the vehicle.  
  
“He’s awake!” The driver responded to the angry roar behind them, his partner leaned out of the window for a better look.  
“You could say that…”  
“Is he’s coming!?"  
His partner watched for a while longer then called back: “Doesn’t look like he can get up!”  
“Shit!” The driver slammed his palms against the wheel and the truck wobbled in response and bounced more viciously across the rough ground. “The boss is going to fucking loose it if he’s screwed up… Shut UP!” he shouted over his shoulder. “Why the hell didn't Crow do his job!?”  
“Shalashaska picked the girl remember? This plan was fucked up from the start, he's not going to take this! Does she really think this is going to help?”  
  
A crown of twisted metal was all that remained of the right side of the canopy, the cockpit was illuminated occasionally by a shower of sparks. The Wildcat turned its mutilated face towards the retreating truck and Sunny felt his sweeping search for her. She sought out the connection and held on with all her mental strength, the cannon turned on its mountings to follow the vehicle threateningly but, of course, did nothing more. To Sunny’s horror she watched him drag his back legs under his body to stand, only for them to buckle at the first step and leave him supported only by his front limbs.  
“Ocelot...”  
_Sunny._  
  
Sunny turned carefully to not disturb her injury and found Ocelot standing close behind her. His eyebrows were almost knotted together and mouth was taught as he spoke. _You're injured, how bad is it?_  
“I can s-stand. Ocelot! I-I-I’m s-s-orr-ry.”  
_There's not time for that right now._  
“A-are y-you-?”  
_I can’t move right now, but I don’t think it’s quite as serious as it looks._ He tried to grin but hardly managed it. _Who has you?_  
"I d-don't know."  
_You can't get out?_  
_S_ unny shook her head, “N-no.”  
_Look around for me?_ She did so. _Tch. Alright, hold on, I’ll come after you as soon as I can. Quickly though: do you know why they after you?_  
“T-they must, must be after in-information on y-you, it’s har-hard to s-s-steal a Metal Gear, p-people are easy... Ah! Ocelot! W-what s-should I say?”  
His expression went blank. _It won’t matter._  
Sunny covered her mouth and found that the projection stood out sharply against the background of the truck as her eyes misted up. “I-I’m s-scared.”  
_You’re stronger than you think, hold on._


	25. Ocelot's Grasp

 

“ _They say possessions own you. Not so. Loved ones own you. You are forever held hostage once you care so much._ ”

\--

Harlan Coben, Hold Tight

 

 

INPUT OVERRIDE.

BOOTING.

DISK CHECK.

BITE CHECK IN PROGRESS…

TEST COMPLETE.

VIEW ISSUES?

BIOMETRIC INPUT REQUIRED.

…FAIL.

SECONDARY/EMERGENCY PILOT INPUT

…FAIL

…FAIL

…PERMITTED

SYSTEM STATUS: ONLINE

“Where is she!?”  
  
It was very quiet, or maybe he still couldn’t hear properly. Through dirty lenses he could make out a helicopter on a clear section of the road, its pilot leaning against the nose, smoking a dog end. A couple of surviving GEKKO milled around beyond it, picking through the rubble. A quick glance inwards showed the nanobots had fixed up any number of minor problems with the chassis, and that there was someone was at his controls and it wasn’t Sunny. Some piece of external hardware was having some effect on him and his body and he had the urge to shake it off. He tried to shiver and shake up the freeloader but found himself unable to move. A tiny distorted sound echoed inside his head, a voice? Was someone trying to talk to him? Ocelot peered around the cockpit uncomfortably, whomever was in there hadn't disconnected his control over that at least. He saw a narrow shouldered figure leaning over his controls, dark grey hair thick and curly about his ears. He was muttering to himself.  
  
“Defects… knee… head… cameras out of… no mic…ones… damn…”  
  
Ocelot could only see the back of Hal's head and wasn't sure what he was up to. Sighing to himself he turned his attention to Hal's attempts at invading his head. Ocelot could feel the other man gaining permissions that only Sunny should have had. He slammed up his walls and sulked inside them while Hal bounced off like an enraged bee against a window. Ocelot tried to ignore him, he just wanted to get his bearings and figure out what to do next, he didn't need this blasted distraction, he hurt, he had to figure things out, had to fix this.  
  
It turned out he was too confident his own walls, he hadn’t taken into account his opponent’s own abilities. For a while Hal seemed to give up, he slumped back in the pilot's chair and tore off his glasses to bury his face in his hands and just sit. Thinking. Ocelot cautiously been probing for hidden threats around him, things Hal might have done to him, damage as of yet unaddressed. Attention spread thin over his various injuries and systems caused a wave of confusion to wash over him and he let down his guard in an attempt to lessen processor usage, he shivered inside his own head, fighting off the dissociative mental state that had come over him. At almost the same instant that Ocelot was trying to remind himself of who and where he was, the load on his computers vanished and after a brief mental struggle he was imposed upon.  
  
“Secondary pilot accepted.” He felt himself saying over the speakers.  
“Hear me now?”  
“Hello Doctor, please extract yourself from my head.” Even his voice felt like shit.  
“Shut up.”  
Ocelot bristled. “Excuse me!?”  
“Where is she? Where is Sunny?”  
“She’s gone. She’s been taken.”  
“Where? By whom?”  
“The truck had a Balam insignia on the back, but I think they're working for someone else. She’s out of range now, I don’t know where she is, or why she was taken.”  
“Would you know if she was—?”  
“If she was dead? Yes I think so. I was still receiving signals up to four hours ago, signal failure was abrupt, no ghosting, that was before I passed out.”  
“Four hours… That’s a lot of time to go missing in.” Hal sank lower in the seat.  
“I think she stopped moving before then and the signal is being blocked.”  
“Could be a shielded vehicle though...”  
“She could have been passed on to someone else, but why not collect her in it? Why wait?”  
Hal leant back to push the circuit breakers back in. The Wildcat tremored in response and creaked to its feet.  
“Get back to the base,” Hal said wearily. “Lets get back what data we can from you and start repairs.”  
"What?"  
"You heard me..." He muttered.  
"We're not going after her?" Hal flinched at Ocelot's tone of disbelief.  
"Even if I trusted you, you can barely stand!" He snapped. "They're sending out a unit to try and track her. We're going back." He waited for Ocelot's reply, but it never came. The quaking Metal Gear turned and limped towards home.  
  
\---  
  
“Have you told anyone else?” Ocelot rumbled.  
“No,” Hal hung his head. “I thought better of it.”  
"Good, we have no idea who else is involved."  
“I can’t believe this goes further up...”  
“Even I didn’t expect them to have control of a Metal Gear within our ranks.”  
  
Hal had seen the recordings, and secreted away his own copies, before Ocelot had deleted the pertinent parts. They would claim the camera system had been down at that point. The data print outs proved nothing more than a friendly Metal Gear had indeed been in the area, as expected, and that the Wildcat had been in combat, as was evident. They didn't show what had attacked the Wildcat, or for that matter, what the Wildcat had attacked. The footage had convinced Hal that what Ocelot said was true, despite his initial disbelief.  
“I can’t believe it was the Jackal, I knew there was a threat close by, but I had no idea it was this bad already.” Hal dragged a hand over his face and dislodged his glasses.  
"Who's the pilot?"  
"Um... Man named Bennett."  
"We need some background on him, can you handle that?"  
"I'll do what I can."  
"I'm sure you will."  
  
The Wildcat had been moved to the hangars as soon as it had limped in through the front gates. The technicians swarmed like flies at an open wound the moment the ruined canopy had been lifted away. The damage had been extensive, the HUD system and external lights were all inoperative, the GPS was acting erratically and had been leading them in the wrong direction the entire way home. It had been Ocelot’s memory of the route had gotten them back safely. The CVR had been ripped out and was lost somewhere in the mud, along with two monitors and a control panel. One flood lamp was missing entirely, another was smashed. The backup power lines had allowed the Wildcat to hobble home on its buckled knee which was, as a standard part, now being replaced. Except right now it was lunch time and the hangar was deserted by everyone but Hal.  
  
“My leg is numb.”  
“It’s not attached.” Hal mumbled vaguely.  
“That’d be it.”  
“You could show some concern!” Hal pushed up his glasses to rub at his eyes. “I’ll have to go to—”  
“I am concerned, and you’ll go to no one.”  
“This can’t be Mr Lewis, he hates you, but why would he be behind this? Loosing a... Risking a pilot, and you? It doesn't benefit him."  
“It's not him, I’m sure of that, if he was behind this our ‘friends’ outside would have approached me personally by now, not allowed this.”  
“So… what are you thinking? Why did they do this?”  
“They can't just walk in here, so they want me to go to them. The search team won't find Sunny, they'll make sure of that. She's the bait, got to be sure they catch the right fish.”  
Hal made a croaking sound then managed: "Well you're not going to those people, who knows what they want you for, but it won't be good."  
"I will go to them, and I will find Sunny and bring her back here."  
“In this state, they could destroy you and kill her, and how can I possibly trust that you will come back with her?”  
“They don't have another Metal Gear on hand. If they had, why risk exposing their agent in the Jackal? If they have anything it’s no match for me and they know it.”  
“Sure, in full working order with your pilot!” Hal hissed.  
“I have a pilot, remember?”  
“I… what?”  
“You signed up for it, Secondary Pilot,” he drawled. "And that's how you know I'll come back."  
“I don’t know how to pilot a Wildcat!” Hal yelped.  
"How far are you willing to go for Sunny?"  
"Don't ask me that."  
"How far?"  
"I'll do anything!"  
“Then you'll be my pilot! You only have to move the throttle past the gate when I tell you to and press the right triggers when I’m facing the thing I want to shoot at, got it?”  
“I—”  
“Got it?”  
“Yes! I... Thank you.”  
“You won’t be half the—For what?”  
“Being willing to help me.”  
“I’m not helping you. I'm going after Sunny, and if I don't have you BBR will shut me down before I can get a foot out of the gates.”  
"You think you know where she is?"  
"I have an idea."  
  
"Sunny's not the only one that's gone..." Hal said hoarsely.  
"What do you mean?"  
"You know West has been missing?"  
"Yes."  
"Turns out Bran's gone too. Only... I thought he might just be ill, I checked and he'd applied for holiday at short notice, two weeks. I found where he lived…"  
"And?"  
"The Bran I knew used to like to talk about his wife and son, not long ago he told me they were going to be clearing out the garage over the next few weekends... He doesn't have a family. He doesn't even have a garage... It was a rented property, I was able to confirm it was definitely him that lived there. His car is gone, place looks deserted... He was lying about all of it."  
"He was supposed to be my pilot. My system imprinted on Sunny instead, but what if Bran was supposed to take me back to Otselotovaya Khvatka. He's not needed here now, so he's been withdrawn."  
Hal nodded. "Sounds plausible... Which means, even if we get her back, there could still be people here…"  
"Whoever this is, Balam, Otselotovaya Khvatka... They're not going to stop at this."  
"You're really not going to join them?"  
"This is about getting Sunny back safe."  
He shook his head. "I... I've known Jude and Bran for so long I... I didn't like this work for her but at least I thought she was safe here... Why the hell did you have to show up?"  
  
Hal left at the end of lunch when the ground crew started to return. This left Ocelot to his own thoughts on how to proceed. Outside the day grew increasingly dim through the hangar doors, left open since the Wildcat's return. Outside the Jackal stood as if nothing had passed between the two Metal Gear. It had received impact and explosion damage to its chest and shoulder and would soon be brought in for armour repairs. Ocelot was glad his face had no choice but to remain impassive as he was forced to stare out at it. Without its pilot however it felt passive and nonthreatening and he soon lost interest. It was just a machine, and it wasn’t the machine that had attacked them.  
  
_Hal thinks I should be afraid of you people, but I’m not._  
_I’m not letting_ _another_ _out of my grasp, you’ll regret this, whatever it is you want, you’re about to loose your chance to get it. If you are who you claim to be, Otselotovaya Khvatka, you should know I don't let go of what I want._

_ _


	26. If I Had A Gun

“ _Listen to the desires of your children. Encourage them and then give them the autonomy to make their own decision.”  
__–_  
Denis Waitley

 

Hal leapt out of bed, eyes wide and a cry of denial on his lips. Forgetting, until he ended up in a tangled pile of bed covers and twisted ankle, that he wasn’t a young man any more. Forgetting in fact what had and had not really happened. He snatched the alarm clock from the side.  
“5:55?”  
He slumped against the side of the mattress and groped around on top of the cabinet until he found the spot where the clock belonged and tried to get his panic under control. He’d been dreaming and in it the alarm hadn’t gone off, he'd been late and by the time he’d gotten to the hangars the Wildcat was nowhere to be found. Hal had imagined it handing itself over to the people who'd taken Sunny with no intention of ensuring her release and awoken in fear. Now he sat, staring at the wall and focused on calming himself until the alarm sounded, then he got stiffly to his feet. It was nonsense of course, the Wildcat simply couldn't leave without him, he had to shut down the restriction system at the base first. He sighed and got himself under control.  
  
Ocelot had harried the ground crew throughout his repairs, not that they’d needed much encouragement. They’d worked over time to get him in working order. The Jackal in the meantime ended up neglected. So while the Wildcat had been in far worse condition, it ended up the first out of the hangars. He was on conditional release however, he wasn't combat ready and he should ideally stay out of the rain as the replacement canopy had to be shipped in. The old battered canopy had been repaired to the best of their abilities, put back in place and what panels that could be salvaged beaten back into place to hold him over, but it was a temporary fix. A tarpaulin was strapped down over the smashed side of the cockpit windows and a horrendous crack ran down the side of the scarred muzzle. He looked a mess, but he was operational and his systems had been repaired. As he stalked across the apron a pilot shot him a dirty look, Ocelot turned away and ignored him.  
  
The Wildcat was by the front gates when the security guard opened them to let Hal drive through. From the corner of his eye he watched the machine's gaze follow him into the car park and in his rear view mirror saw the Wildcat flex its claws and rasp them against the concrete. The damage on the Metal Gear a stark reminder of what they were here to do. Hal almost backed into another car as he was parking, gritting his teeth that Ocelot looked so angry at him, like Ocelot was the one who’d been waking up every hour drenched in sweat, sick with worry. He didn't remind himself that the Wildcat's face was simply built like that, the anger was keeping him from getting anxious.  
  
“You haven’t disconnected the parameter restrictions.” The Metal Gear dropped its head to Hal’s height as he walked past. “I thought we agreed you’d do that remotely.”  
“You’d leave without me.” Hal stopped and looked up at him.  
“That wouldn't be such a bad idea you know, someone has to have my back or they’ll think I’m escaping.”  
“No they won’t, not if I sign you out. We talked about this.”  
The Wildcat's whiskers arched. “I could have been on her trail from three this morning if I’d left after the night shift were done with me.” He got to his feet and folded his forelimbs back, fidgeted, then placed them back on the ground again. “We're wasting time."  
"I had to spend all of yesterday setting this up and we’re lucky I could do it that quickly," the Wildcat didn’t respond. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, like you said, I need to lift the restrictions or you’ll shut down before we get close to her.”  
  
When Hal returned the security guard at the front gate was eyeing up the Wildcat with concern. The Metal Gear itself was stood halfway down the passage to the outside and was staring out through the huge gates. Maybe it was simply a quirk of its anatomy, but it appeared incredibly casual. As Hal approached the Wildcat looked over its shoulder then dropped its head. The canopy was too damaged to lift normally and they'd been advised against trying to use it. The long reinforced jaws opened to make access possible to the emergency escape hatch. Hal gave the guard the paperwork and gingerly climbed up to the hatch. It had to be opened from the inside and Hal nervously crouched on the crushing plate, his joints aching in surprise at this unexpected exercise, before the hatch finally hissed open and he could climb up and squeeze past the pilot's chair and into the cockpit.  
  
Having struggled inside Hal sat down at the controls and looked up in time to see the gates finally finish opening. He was thrown back in the seat when the Wildcat stepped forwards, which at least stopped him from being hit on the head when the restraints came down over him. A sense of acceleration hit him, along with the lunging motion that came with a Metal Gear increasing its speed and stride unevenly. Ocelot didn’t say anything, he knew what his first goal was; the road block where Sunny had been taken from him in the first place. So Hal focused on refreshing his memory of the controls and browsed the computer for their status and position.  
  
Having been in the hanger the Wildcat was fully charged. With Hal arranging this trip—‘to test the repairs’—it was also loaded with enough fuel for a sizeable journey. The missile silos were not totally full, but they were armed with a handful of missiles on each side. The cannon had a full magazine again. All hydraulic pressure was good to go, except in the number 3 backup system which was at minimum pressure and flagged as inoperative. The electrical supply was good and power was steady, but one small area on the starboard side was still isolated, it appeared to be a set of grenade and flare launchers; unimportant. Hal nodded to himself thoughtfully and wriggled in the chair until he could draw from his coat pocket a wad of maps and toss them into the map case between dash and window.  
  
“What’s that?” Ocelot finally spoke.  
“Maps of the area surrounding the site, likely locations. I figure they must have anticipated you might try to follow them, which probably means they have another weapon powerful enough to be a risk to you. Aside from the Jackal… And of course facilities to, to hold Sunny.”  
"Don't worry about the maps."  
"Huh?”  
"The maps. They want me to follow them, there'll be signs."  
"But the search team didn't find anything."  
"The search team aren't who these people want."  
"No. They want you." Hal said pointedly.  
  
The journey to the road block was taken in sullen silence. Their history still a sizeable schism between them. Hal still smarting that Ocelot hadn't appreciated his preparations, or the effort he'd gone to to book them out, and make the BBR systems think they were within their normal boundaries and limitations and not at all questing out on their own. When he saw the tracks in the mud he quickly forgot the perceived insult, his brain busying itself thinking about what Sunny might be going through. The silence between them was only broken again then, with the image of the truck's tracks in the mud coming up on the HUD. Hal snatched the controls in their direction.  
“Look!”  
“I saw them!” Ocelot snarled as he was wrenched sideways.  
“I was afraid they’d be obscured…”  
“They’re new.”  
“The search team?”  
“I don’t think so...”  
Ocelot gazed at them, committing the pattern and shape to memory before heading off in their direction. They ran in an arc back to the road and continued down it to obscurity. The Wildcat set off at a fast trot that rapidly developed into a full run as it became clear the tracks continued down the road and didn't turn back off into the open land, though it wasn’t long before the tracks of other vehicles started to cover them up.  
  
Hal coughed nervously as the silence grew uncomfortable.  
“You um... I couldn’t have done this alone,” Hal said quietly. “But I didn’t expect you to want to find her yourself.”  
“Hunh. Do I have a choice in the matter? Feels like there's been angry flies in my head ever since she went missing, I want to find her to make that stop. What is that?”  
“…Probably the PPS: Pilot Protection System… But that should only be triggered by immediate danger, not something like this. Must have been damaged in the attack.”  
“Great.” He fell silent again.  
"Is that the only reason you want to go after her?"  
"Of course not. I saw Bennett this morning."  
"He was in that early?"  
"Yes. If he's part of Otselotovaya Khvatka then I'm sure he was expecting us to go."  
"God... That man's an instructor. Sunny might have been one of his students…"  
Ahead of them something appeared on the side of the road, the Wildcat slowed as they approached.  
"It's the truck, but it's been left here recently, look at that mud."  
  
Hal dropped awkwardly to the ground and went to investigate. Ocelot was right, there was fresh mud splattered up the back of the truck of a different colour to what surrounded them. The tracks were shiny and wet still, it hadn't been here long. There was no one around. Whomever had left this vehicle here had left in a second. The back of the truck was of course empty, but he couldn't stop himself from checking anyway. There was blood on the floor and his throat closed.

"She had a head injury." The Wildcat rumbled. Hal jumped as the endoscope slithered over his shoulder and peered into the truck with him. "It didn't seem bad, probably not an impact wound, just a cut."  
"Just a cut..." Hal backed out from under the thick manipulator arm and checked the driver's side, there was a black plastic box on the seat, it was heavy and Hal realised it was probably a small fire safe as he lugged it out of the truck. The Wildcat loomed over his shoulder thrumming with power as Hal crouched in the mud and fumbled with the catch.  
  
The box was almost empty, except for a small notepad in the bottom. Hal stood up with it in his hand and glanced up at the Metal Gear standing above him. Ocelot was gazing off into the distance, looking, listening? Hal felt strangely outside of himself as he opened the notepad and stared at the first page.  
"What is it?" the rough voice called down.  
"Co-ordinates." He choked.  
"Time to go then."  
  
Hal plugged in the co-ordinates as the Wildcat started to lope on down the road. The moment the point was highlighted on the map they swerved off and started out across country. The empty land stretching out for many desolate miles on each side. If they kept up this comfortable speed and the terrain didn't get worse they would reach the indicated spot in a handful of hours. Hal wanted to urge Ocelot on but he knew this was an economical speed and the least likely to lead them into danger, either through mechanical failure, stumbling or running head long into a trap. Hal fell back into the seat, feeling the palpitations in his chest and started to work on slowing his breathing and racing heartbeat before he attempted to take control of their movement and they ended up in an accident.  
  
He was getting himself under control when on one of the screens a green blip flickered into view then vanished again. It lasted only a few seconds, and it was almost off screen and many miles away, slightly north of where the co-ordinates were telling them to go—but it was there.  
Hal clutched at the screen, looking hopelessly for the little light.  
“Sunny?”  
“Yes, she’s alive. That’s where the good news ends." Hal looked up as the Wildcat started to accelerate rapidly. "Throttle. Doctor the throttle!” Hal wrenched the lever around the gate and to its highest setting. The Metal Gear lurched. There was a moment of imbalance as its gait changed and a dull clunk as the extender beams that made up its spine unlocked and slipped apart to their fully extended stops, there was a series of quieter thumps as various rams and locks moved to support the Metal Gear's body. Hal was thrown back by the acceleration as the Wildcat twitched its tail and was sent twisting quickly towards the weak and flickering signal. On the HUD the miles started to drop off faster. The Wildcat nimbly dodged the worst of the obstacles in their path, even leaping a wide furrow that that left Hal's heart in his mouth and adrenaline rushing through his body.  
  
"What was that do you think?" He called over the sound of the Metal Gear's movements.  
"I'm not sure, maybe they moved her and some of the signal got through."  
"Moving her!? Should we still go to those co-ordinates or straight to where she was?"  
"What do you think Doctor?"  
"Me!?"  
"Yes! Which do you think? Come on, Snake trusted your input, that's good enough for me."  
"Um... The co-ordinates, they're expecting us there. We don't know if they're moving Sunny there or away from there, but we might miss our chance if we don't follow the instructions!"  
The Wildcat moved, mud flew up as it dug in its hooves and turned back towards the waypoint on the map then took off at top speed.  
  
–-  
  
“Doctor.”  
“Huh? Yeah?” Hal wriggled upright in his seat and adjusted his glasses, which had been slipping down his nose from the movement of the Metal Gear.  
“You asked me what my reasons were for doing this.” Hearing such slow thoughtful speech from the sprinting Metal Gear was peculiar, Hal couldn’t shake the feeling Ocelot should be struggling to run and talk at the same time.  
“Yeah…?” He asked guardedly.  
“It’s to do with what I said to you, about undermining Sunny’s choices.”  
“I don’t follow?”  
“I told Sunny about what happened between Olga, Sergei and I, but I kept some back.”  
Hal shook his head, puzzled.  
“You don’t really think it was all an accident do you?”  
He sighed heavily through his nose. “Don’t talk in riddles.”  
“I’m not. Listen.”  
Hal shrank back in his chair.  
“Sunny coming into your and Snake’s care, did you think that was an accident? Or do you believe in fate?”  
“No. Neither. I mean… I didn’t think there was any reason for it, we were just available to look after her.”  
“Yes, you were. EVA suggested it to Raiden, that you would be good temporary caregivers. EVA suggested it because I did, because I needed Sunny to be raised by you.”  
“Wait, you? Why?”  
Ocelot stayed silent for nearly a minute and Hal started to think he wasn’t going to say anything else, then he spoke up again out of the blue: “Because she was the only one who could stop me.”  
  
“I always intended to let her go back to her mother, when Olga died I was left with a bit of a dilemma, for a while I just left Sunny with The Patriots, she was so young and I had no one else I could just leave a baby with. Then they discovered her skills and I knew I had to take her away from them. They would use her as a weapon against us if Naomi and I continued our plan, but more than that, I could use her against The Patriots.”  
“Of course you saw an opportunity to make use of her.” Hal bit back.  
“Of course… But she needed a different life to anything I could provide, she needed you and Snake. She needed to grow up knowing she was loved, what it was like to be valued for her own sake. So when the time came, Naomi could give her the tools and she could help me destroy The Patriots.”  
“Sunny _stopped_ you from destroying The Patriots.”  
“No. She stopped Liquid Ocelot from shutting them down and… What did he say? Something about recreating the wild west?” Ocelot chuckled. “What I wanted, what we needed, was The Patriots to be… Declawed.”  
  
“So...” Hal said slowly, letting this sink in. “That’s why Naomi came to the Nomad, Snake wondered, I was...” He coughed. “I didn’t want to think about it.”  
“I’m sure.” Ocelot said coldly.  
“So what does that have to do with now?”  
“I held it back from Sunny because I didn’t want her to think her formative years were all a construction. What she went through, the people who loved her, it was all real, it had to be real, that’s the point. Our entire plan rested on her shoulders, and she didn’t even know it, we couldn’t talk to her, couldn’t tell her what we wanted her to do. Sunny ensured that when I… Stopped being me, my goals could still be fulfilled, and Liquid Ocelot was stopped, Big Boss was freed and the world was able to start turning again to its own tune.”  
Hal waited patiently.  
“She made everything I fought for possible. I owe her more than she knows.”  
“More than you want to tell her?”  
“This is her life. She should live it without having that hanging over her head, the onus is on me.”  
“But you won’t just let her be either?”  
“Look at where we are doctor!” Hal automatically glanced up at the rolling scrub land and blinked. “It’s too late for that, don’t you think? I have nothing else, I may as well repay my debts.”  
  
By the time the Wildcat’s sprint took its toll it was late afternoon, the sun was shining intermittently through thick oily clouds. They slowed to a trot then stopped, the Wildcat dropped to its belly and groaned.  
“Over heating.”  
“I know,” wincing, Hal cancelled the screaming alert and massaged his temples.  
“We’re nearly there though. Look.” In the distance there was a smattering of lights, a search light occasionally swept into view, but was otherwise hidden by a dark shape, presumably a building. The complex was rapidly being swallowed by darkness.  
“Do you know what this place is?"  
“Let me out?”  
“Why?”  
“I’ll go look. I'm not as conspicuous as you are.”  
“Don’t get us caught.”  
"I used to help Snake, remember?"  
"Sure you're not out of practise, old man?"  
  
Hal dropped to the ground and paused in the charged air. At his back the Metal Gear hummed and whined, a ticking sound came from its hot engine and the air shimmered over the bulk of its body. As he looked up the huge jaws opened and a throbbing sound was added to the noise. The Wildcat's throat flexed as cooling air was sucked into a manifold to be pushed through the chassis to speed up the cooling process. Hal turned away from the panting machine and started to trudge towards the distant lights. They’d reached grass, and there was moisture under his feet. A rare oasis. The ground rose up ahead of him in shadow, if there was a water course he was about to blunder into it. Hal squelched up the side of the shallow valley and ducked as he crested the hill, but there was nothing to illuminate him here. The ground dropped away again then grew flat and rolled towards the group of buildings and the high wall that surrounded them. It had an unfinished feel, despite the modern equipment leeching off of it. It appeared to be an old military base, and quite a sizeable one too, the walls were an anti-Metal Gear defence and Hal winced wondering if it was going to be a problem or if maybe Otselotovaya Khvatka intended to trap them inside. He looked further into the complex, and there hulking in the lee of the building was a familiar set of geometric shapes. A bright line of blue lights revealed the shape of the head, which was facing towards the road that lead into the complex.  
"REX. So they do have more."  
  
The outside of the walls looked over grown and weather worn. The buildings, while showing signs of human habitation, were unfinished, one didn't even have glass in its windows. This place had been abandoned before it had been finished. Hal suspected that from ground level the REX would be entirely hidden behind the wall and that the decrepit building made a good disguise for it, if they hadn't changed their route they would have approached closer to the road and might have even missed it themselves. If they were out in the open Hal had confidence that the Wildcat could out manoeuvre a REX even in its current condition. In the tight space of the compound if they were cornered however, that might be a very different story. He rubbed his arms and headed back to the Wildcat. Its shape a poor battered mockery of its previous glory. They were in no position to face another Metal Gear head on, not after the attack by the Jackal.  
“How’s it looking, Doctor, is it bad?”  
“I’m glad you’re finding this amusing.”  
“Not in the slightest.”  
  
Hal carefully relayed what he’d seen from the rise. Detailing the view as precisely to Ocelot as he’d once fed mission information to Snake. Ocelot for his part listened closely and questioned him on points: the REX’s main firearm, the height of the wall, apparent activity behind the wall, gun emplacements. As evening grew closer and the dark clouds grew more threatening the Wildcat’s overheat intakes shut off and with a final sigh excess air escaped from vents.  
  
"So then." Ocelot started. "They are expecting us, do you want to go down to the road and make our presence known? Or shall we just take what we came for?"  
"Is she in there?"  
The Wildcat's flood lamps, narrowed to points, turned on Hal and burnt a sinister blue against the stormy skies.  
"There is a signal, it is weak, interfered with, but whatever they're using to block it with isn't up to the task and yes, she is in there."  
"You said earlier…"  
"Hmn?"  
"That her signal didn't mean good news?"  
"Yes."  
"What did you mean?"  
The Wildcat was still for a moment then he rumbled: "She's hurting."  
Hal sighed a strange tight sigh through his nose and waved at the Wildcat to let him in.  
"So what's the verdict?"  
"What do you think of the REX?"  
"In that space? No problem."  
Hal nodded. "Well, they weren't so polite with us as to walk up and ask, so let's just take her back."


	27. Shalashaska

" _I am made of bullets; shrapnel._  
_You are solar flares_  
_and soft lips -_  
  
_better creatures could love you, I know._  
_But now they’ll have to_  
_get through_  
_me._ "

\--

Eli, ihopewestay.tumblr.com

 

Coati stared out at the orange tinted darkness, blinking her gritty eyes and wishing she’d finished that second cup of coffee before going on shift. She paused in the middle of reaching up to adjust her mask. On the edge of the hill there was a dim cool light. Not unlike the early blush of the rising moon. Except the moon wasn't close to rising, and even if it had been it would have been buried in the storm clouds. The soldier switched her large goggles to infrared and saw nothing. No heat signatures on the hill besides the residue heat of the day, not quite leached from the ground as of yet. Then, suddenly as it appeared, the light vanished. Maybe it had just been a vehicle coming down the road. She relaxed, switched off the infrared and glanced towards the entrance of the compound, waiting for it to appear. Nothing happened. The hairs on the back of her neck started to prickle.  
“Hey, Peccary, did you see that just now?” She spoke into her radio.  
“What now?” came the reply.  
“A blue glow,” she looked over to see the other guard approaching from her own station and pointed. Peccary turned to look and immediately flinched and raised her weapon.  
  
Coati brought up her own rifle and turned in time to see a shape creeping over the hill in silhouette. A quiet humming sound reached the microphones in her helmet, getting louder by the second and accompanied by a slow heavy tramping. Coati radioed up to the search light tower and the powerful beam swept around and fell on the approaching mystery. There was a flash of fangs and a grotesque crumpled skull, Peccary raised her arms to protect her face, and Coati screamed into her radio: “IT’S HIM!”  
  
Then the blue lights snapped on, the two women stumbled back blinded and a klaxon blared. The howling siren drowned out the scream of a hydraulic motor being brought online. The Wildcat's cannon flashed brilliantly and shot at the wall where the gates joined the concrete. Immediately there was a rush of activity in response and large weaponry was trained on them, soldiers ran towards the point of the wall they were attacking, only to hesitate and hold back.

 

A short burst of fire came from one of the large guns on the wall, bullets bounced loudly off the Metal Gear. Hal felt the Wildcat's head turn and glance at the large gun and the worried face of the person firing it.  
  
"I think we have their attention." Ocelot said.  
"Now?"  
"Now."  
From inside the cockpit Hal didn't hear the fwoop of the smoke grenades being fired, but it wasn't long before a thick soup of smoke surrounded the Metal Gear and spread out from them on either side, as far at they could shoot. A number of gun emplacements fired wildly towards where the Metal Gear had been. The soldiers above them looked around in confusion and froze in place, least they fall off the wall in the fog. The Wildcat pushed its paws up against the weakened gates, they weren't the reinforced set that BBR had and immediately started to groan under the pressure. The enemy contingent started the process of turning the big guns onto the Wildcat as it started to come through, the soldiers began to run towards it. Now Hal and Ocelot could see the REX—it hadn't been mobilised yet. As they finally climbed over the fallen gates they unleashed a series of powerful shots into the inside of the wall. Dust and smoke clogged the air and they ducked through it and away from the gates and the focus of the enemy fire.  
  
"We have to get rid of that REX, they're bound to bring it online now we're inside!"  
"I know that!"  
The Wildcat tipped dangerously to the side as it turned sharply, bolted between the unfinished building they'd seen from the outside and the foundations of one that had never been built. Ahead of them the REX was still half in shadows, but now they could see a makeshift gantry had been built from the building closest to it, and on it someone was running for the Metal Gear's cockpit.  
  
The pilot didn't make it before the Wildcat's beak crashed into the metal walkway and it crumpled like paper. From the cockpit Hal could see the pilot clinging to the twisted metal, his feet kicking the air. The torn up walkway collapsed as the Wildcat withdrew with a screech of metal on metal and the man fell, still kicking and clinging in vain to the walkway.  
  
Content that it would be impossible to reach the cockpit of the old Metal Gear, the Wildcat turned to face the source of the annoying rattling that echoed through its armour. Bullets ricocheted off the armoured hide as the Wildcat stalked towards the soldiers, who were just starting to back up in the face of the blazing blue flood lamps that lit them up more sharply than daylight. From the left a rocket struck. The explosion was close to the gaping hole in the windscreen and Hal ducked for cover. The tarp came loose, new gouges appeared in the metal. Hal closed his eyes against the sight of the shooter on the roof top, as he automatically followed Ocelot's orders and one of the Wildcat's machine guns ripped into the soldier before he could escape. He didn't see the Wildcat turn back to the retreating group ahead of them, fangs bared threateningly. Some of the soldiers had piled in panic into a jeep painted with a snarling mouth and were speeding away as fast as it would take them. Hal was starting to realise that there were two distinct groups here. One set of soldiers were wearing something akin to Liquid Ocelot's Outer Haven Trooper armour, they were by far in the minority here and seemed to be keeping back. Most of the frightened faces before him belonged to a rougher looking group.  
"Balam soldiers?" he muttered.  
  
“Stop! Stop! Cease fire!” A short man in a white lab coat was waving frantically at the soldiers, who turned their staring orange goggles to each other then hesitantly lowered their weapons. After the previous racket the silence seemed deafening. Hal reached for his ringing ears.  
“What is this? Is that you? Have you returned to us, Shalashaska?”  
Then in tones so sneering that the hookah-smoking caterpillar would have been proud, the Wildcat lowered its head, bristled its whiskers and drawled: “Who, are you?”  
  
Hal had to turn up the speakers to hear the dumpy one’s twittering reply.  
“I am Professor Holder! I designed you! Well my research division and I, well your chassis, not you, sir.”  
The Wildcat rumbled aloud: “Then are you also behind the kidnapping of my pilot?”  
"I—What?"  
"Sunny Gulukovich-Emmerich!" he bellowed. "Where is she? Why did you lead us here?"  
  
The man looked around in panic then a darkly clad soldier ran up to him and spoke hurriedly to him in hushed tones. It was too distorted to hear clearly in the cockpit but Professor Holder looked up hopefully.  
"Oh, yes! An unfortunate turn of events… I assure you she is fine! You see, Shalashaska, there was a pilot lined up, set to bring you to us,” he cast a withering look over the damage the Wildcat had taken over the last few days. “But with things turning out as they did, we were unable to invite you here, and we were afraid that um, the girl would... Well..." He glanced back at the soldier. "Why did you bring her here?"  
The Balam soldier looked up at the threatening machine and swallowed: "We were told to bring her here so you would follow! Um, sir!"  
On one of the screens in the cockpit, what had been a general view of the soldiers, suddenly focused on Holder. His face was a picture of confusion.  
“Left hand, right hand.” Ocelot muttered for Hal’s benefit.  
"I'm sure she's just fine!" Holder called up. "Where is she?" He hissed, the other man gave him a sickly look.  
  
This time the growl was so low Hal felt it vibrate up through the body surrounding him like a minor earthquake. “I’ll send for her right away!” Holder flustered at the soldier who hurried away, glancing up at the Wildcat as he went, face a mask of horror.  
“I do apologize for this terrible confusion, I assure you we never intended such…” Holder's eyes trailed over the rubble and hesitated at the sight of bodies being pulled free. “Such a misunderstanding. Our only thoughts were of you.”  
  
"What do you think?" Hal whispered.  
"I think he's telling the truth, as far as he knows it. There's been two lines of communication at play here."  
"Meaning?"  
"I'm not sure yet. If they only wanted to lure me here then no harm needed to be done, but that man didn't give me the impression that Sunny was 'just fine', and why attack us in the first place?"  
"And you said..." Hal trailed off, feeling sick.  
The Wildcat extended its claws until the concrete cracked.  
  
\---  
  
The soldier stood by as the guard at the door rattled his keys, too shaky to wield a gun, and let them into the makeshift cell. Wire mesh covered everything in here, and wooden planks had been secured over the windows. One or two planks had become slightly loose and lopsided. One was missing. The guard scowled at the empty space, then the plank slammed into his unprotected face. He wheeled away, holding his nose. The soldier behind him raised her rifle but hesitated, remembering why she was here and who had sent her. In her moment of doubt she was driven back when the wood was thrown at her and Sunny took off running past her and down the corridor.  
  
The soldier shoved the plank away and wrenched the handle of the wall mounted alarm down so hard it almost broke. Bells started clanging and the soldier ran off after the barefooted young woman.  
  
Sunny had heard the terrible sounds from outside and had shivered in her cell in confusion and fear. The moment she'd heard his voice bellowing through the complex however, she'd stumbled to her feet and gone back to wrenching at the loose plank until her fingers bled. She hadn't been able to see the Wildcat from her cell, but just knowing it was out there had given her a rush of adrenaline and renewed her energy. Now she heard the tramp of approaching boots and the clack of steel claws on the bare floors and she zigzagged her way through the corridors with mounting panic. She didn't feel the pain in her tense muscles and bruised feet. Sunny burst out into a grimy canteen and ran through looking around wildly for a hiding place as she went. The chair legs were spindly and under the tables offered no shelter. She reached the doors on the far side and started to push them open when a flash of colour in the corner of her eye made her look back hopefully. There was a long dead vending machine just behind the door. She wriggled behind it, cobwebs snagging in her hair and dust clogging the air. She held her breath as her pursuers barged in, they saw the still swinging doors and didn't stay around. Not waiting for them to figure out out their mistake and return, she squeezed out, skinning her already inflamed knees on a sharp hose fitting before back tracking. She grabbed a small hand held fire extinguisher off the wall for defence then left the way she'd come. She could feel him now. Burning hot, efficient and dangerous, and she flew to him like a tired moth to a flame, hoping there'd be warmth, not burns. Sunny wrenched open a door labelled ‘Roof Access Only’ and hurried skywards.  
  
A hand grabbed her ankle and she twisted to see someone sprawled on the stairs reaching up to snatch at her. She dropped the extinguisher, catching him a glancing blow on the temple. Before he could shake it off and get up, Sunny sprinted up the stairs three at a time. Her abused body was screaming for a reprieve but she screamed at her self that this was nothing. Nothing in comparison to what they would do if they caught her. She didn't stop to think about what Ocelot might be here for if not for her, and what he might do, even if he was here for her, when he found out the truth. She hit the door running and slammed down the release bar. She twisted her fingers as the bar sprang back and she tore out into the wind, out of the poorly shielded building and reached out instinctively. Sunny found the nanolink, stronger and more alive than her memory had led her to believe. She grabbed at it and for a split second saw the ground rush away from her and faces tuned upwards in fear.  
  
Fear and pain slammed into Ocelot's consciousness like a blow to the head. Professor Holder stumbled back out of the way when the Metal Gear’s jaws crashed shut only a few feet above his head, before they surged upwards with a scream of actuators and pumps, and up more as the Wildcat reared to its full height.  
  
Hal was thrown back and down into the seat and his head sent spinning by the force. He was familiar with Metal Gear behaviour and clamped his hands over her ears. The broken wind shield was no defence against the earth shattering disorienting scream. Hal's vision blurred and his head felt like it was being hammered into. The ground came rushing back up meet them as the Wildcat dropped back down. The bright green dot had reappeared on the screen now, almost on top of them. Hal made an uncoordinated grab for the controls and together they turned on a dime, claws skittering and ripping up concrete. Terrified discombobulated people throwing themselves left and right.  
  
Sunny closed her eyes tightly and clenched her fists, trying to keep her head, trying not to loose herself in the immensity of his energy. Though she wanted to, she wanted to loose herself in his confidence and forget the pain of her body, she wanted to feel his strength now, she stood her ground and came up gasping for air, the ground gave under her hands and her muscles were smooth sliding steel. She opened her eyes and the world rocked around her. The sky was stormy and the wind was whipping up and freezing on her bare legs and arms. She was high up and Sunny didn't realize she’d reached the edge of the roof until her hands were on the cold metal railings. They burned as they sapped the heat from her sore hands. Her throat was tight and raw but she didn't need it as she voicelessly screamed for him and pulled him towards her position.  
  
Hal rattled the controls, but they were loose in his sweaty palms. He screamed when the inputs failed and the Metal Gear didn't respond, when the Wildcat lowered its head and rammed its immense shoulders against the side of the building between it and its target. Floors collapsed, old concrete and cheap plaster rained down around them as the tank ploughed onward, crushing anything in its blind charge. A shrug and the roof caved in. From where he sat, Hal saw a scattering of people who'd still been in the half finished building fall into the abyss around the Metal Gear’s legs, or drop away in its wake. He had time to wonder if Ocelot even noticed, when a gap in the dust and debris opened up before them. The Wildcat pulled itself from the rubble and the blip on the radar was closer than ever. Man and machine looked up and they saw the tiny figure on the roof top being torn at by the wind. The Metal Gear reared up, crashing through what was left of the roof and tearing itself free.  
  
“Wait right there!”  
  
Sunny turned sharply to see the wobbly guard she'd dropped the extinguisher on and the woman she'd dodged past out of the cell. The two looked up beyond her, at the machine destroying their base. Two helicopters had taken to the air waiting for instructions, their lights threw pools of light over the Wildcat and the destruction in its wake. As Sunny had turned so had it, and brilliant cold light washed over her. Rage had twisted Sunny’s expression, but as the Metal Gear fell back to all fours with a crack of concrete, the look of rage drained from her face and left her small and alone against the railings. Her wind knotted hair a pale halo around her face, white and afraid.  
  
Silence fell on the roof top, though with the cacophony of rubble, panicked gunfire and the escaping helicopters rising into the sky, it was hard to tell. Neither soldier moved, their guns trained on her, but one with a hand raised to her ear, listening intently to instructions. The building moaned as the Wildcat stood up against it, claws shattering floors and making the structure shake. Its long wedge shaped head loomed up over them, manipulator arms extended like the arms of an enraged octopus which arced threateningly around the small group on the roof. Bar one. With unfitting care one cut through the air to Sunny’s side. She looked at it blankly then rested her hand on the appendage, as one might a partner leading one to dance, and balanced herself on it as she climbed over the rails and trustingly stepped out onto the scarred muzzle before her.  
  
The arm remained close even as she let go and climbed shakily into the cockpit through the smashed window. The moment she was safe inside, the once gentle limb lashed out like a snake at the two frozen figures on the roof. The Balam man with the ugly bruise on his head was unable to scream as the clawed arm hit him in the chest, pushed him hard to the ground and didn't stop pushing until it met concrete. He clutched breathlessly at the thick arm as his lungs collapsed, and when he fell still his body was tossed aside. The woman was running for the door, the arm hovered as if considering going after her, then hissed back to its stowage. It was followed by its companions, all except for two, which made two long arches in the air either side of the Wildcat's snarling face. The Wildcat turned and took a moment to survey the damage it had done then strode towards the gates.

One of the helicopters swung around and the pale wobbly face of the professor stared out at them, a megaphone in hand.  
“Shalashaska! Please! We are on your side!”  
The pilot kept his distance, avoiding the giant jaws.  
Holder kept shouting: “This is a misunderstanding!” He watched the long head with its snaking whiskers swing up to look at him. It was eyeless, but it stared out through mismatched flood lamps set into a crushed skull, it sneered through a smashed mouth.  
  
Their Jackal had done this to him, and now that Sunny was back and connected to his system, he was aware of her injuries and the flowers of pain behind her eyes as she sat shaking, ignoring Hal, darkness lapping at the edges of her vision. She was focused intently on the back of the chair in front of her, fighting waves of vertigo and trying not to think. Ocelot ignored Holder and his misunderstandings and turned away. His fuel levels were reading as low, even though that seemed suspect, and his head felt addled as his primary pilot, now hooked back up to his systems, started to loose consciousness. He just wanted to get away from now and picked up his pace. As the Wildcat left the compound the helicopter lifted away and flew in the opposite direction. The Wildcat broke into a trot and headed back out into the Bufferlands, heading towards a rocky outcrop about ten miles away he’d seen on their approach, it would do for now.  
  
The lee of the stones was sheltered and populated by small wiry shrubs and course grass, here the Wildcat stopped and dropped to its knees. Hal had asked many questions of both Ocelot and Sunny on the way here, but had no answers, and now the Wildcat abruptly powered down and left him in silence. Hal looked with mounting concern over his shoulder at Sunny. She was unconscious under the emergency blanket on the small back seat, her skin was marred with bruises, a cut under one blackened eye was scabbed over and one over her lip still slowly oozed blood. Hal, at a loss and blinking back tears, curled up as best he could in the pilot's chair and tuned his gaze out at the storm that was starting to rage around them, the blood rushed in his ears.

 

[ ](http://p-sebae.tumblr.com/post/143391734406/hal-screamed-when-the-inputs-failed-and-instead)


	28. Partners

“ _It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace._ ”

\--

Chuck Palahniuk, Diary

 

Hal awoke to grey skies and a crick or knot in almost every part of his anatomy. He uncurled from the seat, wincing at every pop and crack, and leant around to check on Sunny. She wasn't there. He stood up quickly and cracked his head against the roof of the cockpit. Her blanket was abandoned on the seat and the first aid box was on top of it, opened and rummaged through. Most of the cockpit was dark, but the humming of the computers and a couple of lights showed that the Wildcat was indeed online. Hal didn't get a response from Ocelot, so he wriggled his top half out of the broken window and looked about. By daylight he could see the additional damage to the wind shield and the metal surrounding it from the day before. The storm had passed, leaving the sky grey and the wiry grass wet. After the raging winds that night, everything seemed deceptively still and Hal eyed up the skies doubtfully as if they would trouble them again at any moment.  
  
It was while he was checking out the weather that Hal saw a small lonely looking figure a little ways off. He blinked in confusion as she leant forwards and sideways, holding something to her face.  
"Tehuacanazo."  
Hal jumped, cracked his head on the canopy again and sat down hard in his seat. He rubbed the back of his head wincing. "What?"  
"Tehuacanazo. At least I think so, its been a while... Tehuana? Tehuantepec...?" Ocelot muttered half to himself, half to Hal. "Chilli pepper mixed with carbonated water." He 'cleared his throat' awkwardly as if realising how casual he was being. "She wanted to wash out her eyes and nose, I don't blame her."  
Hal closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Just think about Sunny…"  
"Hmn?"  
"Is she... Is she okay?"  
"What do you think?"  
  
Sunny sneezed out the last of the saline water and dropped the bottle on the grass at her feet. She stood for a moment longer, gazing emptily at the narrow muddy creek winding almost invisibly through the grasses. It glinted in the sunlight where it surfaced between shrubs, winking as it slithered on its sluggish way to its destination, somewhere away from here in the desolate land. Behind her in the cockpit, Hal stood back up at the window and watched her. He was too far up to climb down, and Ocelot was insistent on giving her her space anyway. Still, he pushed up his glasses and frowned. He was unsure if he was seeing light bounce strangely off the water, or if he was starting to see things, but every time he looked near Sunny, it seemed as if someone was leaning over her. If he looked directly at her however, the fuzzy image vanished. He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes and cleaned his glasses on his shirt. Looking back at Sunny, he comforted himself that she was indeed alone.  
"Are you sure she's alright on her own?"  
"I'm keeping an eye on her." The Wildcat's head finally sank down. "Go stretch your legs, Doctor, you've been cramped up in here long enough."  
“But—”  
“Go.”  
Hal fell silent and nodded, dropping out of the emergency exit. Wincing at himself when his hips popped. He glanced back at Sunny for one more long moment, she seemed to be deep in thought, staring into the muddy water. Hal rubbed the morning chill out of his arms and hoped she wasn't too cold and followed Ocelot's advice, starting off along the length of the Wildcat at a limp.  
  
However Sunny was not deep in thought. In fact she was so carefully not deep in thought she’d ended up in someone else’s. She was somewhere familiar, and her gaze was not on the water but somewhere beyond it. The grass was soft and well maintained, not harsh and wiry. White flowers surrounded her, nodding in terracotta planters and pots, instead of tough shrubs. The sky above was soft and speckled with washed out stars. She wasn't sure if it was very early in the morning or very early in the evening, time stood still here and she existed in perpetual twilight. She sank down on the grass, the fresh leaves irritating her skin and grounding her. There was no scent in the air, for that she was grateful, her sinuses were still burning. She closed her eyes, imagined the wire clad dark cell, opened them again and she was still in the wide calm gardens. Hemmed in loosely by trimmed hedges and pale stone walls, with wooden gates that opened wide onto the image of steep hills and wild rocky terrain, small patches of farmland, full of life.  
  
Ocelot was close by, but he was giving her room. He was a general watchful presence, a guard, but not one to keep her secured. Sunny had not seen him much. He was a shadow behind the dividing hedgerows, the glitter of steel, the sound of footsteps on the stone veranda. She'd looked up once to see him leaning against the wall of the house, arms crossed, eyes on the sky. He hadn't looked back at her and she'd padded away deeper into the garden. His garden. He knew where she was, how she was, and she sat twisted up inside with apprehension.  
  
Sunny was grateful that Ocelot understood what she needed right at that moment, no questions asked, just peace, quiet, calm—as long as she didn't think too hard about how he knew. He’d greeted her softly when she awoke, helped her sore bones climb out of the cockpit without waking Hal. He'd suggested the saline water. He’d welcomed her quietly into his VR when she’d asked to escape the real world, and had even welcomed her back into his memories. This place was safe. Ocelot had had it built, he'd made it safe, and it was in perfect contrast to the hard concrete and iron they’d left behind them the night before. Ocelot had left her to wander in peace, with the understanding that she could call for him if she needed him. She was now considering it.  
  
With the agony of her physical body seeming so far away, she was able to think more clearly and she wanted to talk to him; to thank him; to ask him so much, but she was afraid. When she’d awoken and seen her uncle she'd started shaking immediately. Sunny didn’t want to think what her reaction might be when faced directly with Ocelot and his questions. More than anything however, she desperately wanted to apologise, and she desperately didn't want to face his reaction to what she'd done. It was a comfort at least to know he’d never look at her with pity, he'd never pitied anyone, and she wouldn’t deserve it even if he had.  
  
Sunny hugged her legs and buried her face against her knees, she couldn't remove herself from her vulnerability. No matter how safe the walls were, how calming the gardens, she remained shaking. Her skin felt overly sensitive and her muscles were knotted up until moving alone caused a new range of aches, even here the soreness of her body tried to make itself known. She remained curled up tightly protecting herself as she ventured: "Ocelot?"  
  
She dropped her chin to her knees and waited. She felt him respond but it was a few minutes before he appeared, or so it felt. Barely seconds had gone by outside of this place. He took the time to walk to her, rather than surprising her with a sudden manifestation, as he usually preferred. Sunny didn’t turn to look when she heard the rustling of the grass and clinking of his spurs. He walked around her giving her a wide berth, she glanced up at him but couldn't keep it up and dropped her gaze back down to the grass. A shadow fell over her and she flinched, but the only thing that came down on her was the heavy weight of his coat as he carefully draped it around her bare shoulders. Sunny tugged it closer, digging her nails into the tough leather instead of her palms. The lining was smooth and well worn and the first good sensation she'd had on her skin in days. The coat itself was big enough to envelop her. She finally looked up as Ocelot folded up his long legs and dropped down into the grass opposite her.  
  
Sunny glanced up at his melancholy expression, then down again. He looked worried and she felt her hands growing clammy.  
“Hey."  
"Hey." She whispered. "Thank you for... for coming for me, Ocelot... I'm s-sorry.”  
“For what?”  
It hadn’t been the answer she expected. Sunny reluctantly looked up and caught a glimpse of him toying with his hair before he quickly dropped his hand.  
“F-for getting you into t-this and... I let you down, I t… I to…” he shook his head and held up his hand. Sunny's resolution to tell him what had happened started to break down and she just stuttered into the collar of his coat and watched him.  
"Sunny I'm the one who started this, and I know what you did. You don't have to be sorry. In fact, here, let me show you something...”  
  
Ocelot pulled off his gloves smoothly enough, but automatically clenched his hands as tightly as Sunny was doing.  
"The gloves didn't always help..." he muttered by way of an excuse, reaching out his hands towards her and slowly uncurling them. Palms down. Sunny dropped her knees to the grass and leant forwards cautiously. Her first impression was of age and twisting. Fingers that didn’t lie flat in relation to each other, broken at some time in the past. Swollen knuckles and scaring from too many years of gun-play. Sunny reached out a hand from the folds of his coat and took his hand in hers. She felt delicate tendons and swollen blood vessels under his papery skin, wondered why she was surprised to see the liver spots under the fine hairs on the backs of his hands. Turning his hand over she saw old burns on his palm and he seemed very old and frail in that moment. She looked up at his proud, cold face and the feeling was erased. He’d gone down fighting, frailty never once entered into it. He’d fought until his bones broke and the evidence was right here in front of her. Her heart sank, she didn't have half that strength.  
  
“I was aware there was something wrong with them by the time I was in my 50s,” he wriggled his fingers against hers. “I didn’t tell anyone, I was too ashamed, but it was actually relief to replace my right hand with one that didn’t hurt so much.”  
“I’m sorry…”  
“I should have taken better care of them,” he sighed, staring down at his battered hands against her youthful one. “Of course most of what you see was certainly not self inflicted.”  
"Do they hurt now?"  
"Not now, no."  
She pressed her thumb lightly into the burn scars on the palm.  
"Chad, in the 90s."  
She looked up sharply.  
"If you were wondering when I got those. Outer Heaven was operating in the area, they got me out of there pretty quickly, I was lucky, couldn't hold a gun for weeks. Or much of anything else for that matter."  
"I don't tend to think of Outer Heaven as something that saved people."  
"Depends whose side you were on," he laughed dryly. "Big Boss looked after his own. Tried to. He tried."  
"Will I… Will it stop hurting, Ocelot?"  
"No. I don't think so," he saw her expression grow grim and squeezed her hand to get her attention. "But it will fade. You will experience other things that will push these memories aside, you will have other things on your mind and it won’t be so… raw. We can not always avoid getting wounded, but wounds turn to scars. What matters is how you take care of your wounds, as to how badly they scar."  
She dropped his gaze and nodded, jumping when after a long pause filled with the sounds of the garden, Ocelot leant forwards, and whispered in her ear: “I talked too.”  
  
“Most people do,” he said later, putting his gloves back on. “They'll lie if they don't have the truth, or they'll lie to pretend they don't, some times they just tell the truth, if their interrogator is good. It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you believe you are, and that’s the point, the idea. It’s how they get to you, make it seem like talking is your only option. Sunny, don’t think I don’t know you fought you way out of there, that's not the action of a weak person.”  
“They were fetching me, weren't they? That's the only reason I could get past them."  
“You knew?”  
“I suspected, you weren’t exactly subtle when you showed up, or hiding much of anything from me when the link was re-established,” she tapped the side of her head. A moment of old fire glinted in her eyes and Ocelot smirked. “I don’t appreciate being thought of as ‘yours’ however. You can stop thinking like that.”  
He chuckled and had the decency to at least pretend to be embarrassed. “What would you prefer?” His grin broadened.  
“You're really not angry with me?"  
"Of course not, my dear. I'm glad to have you back, safe, if not entirely sound."  
"Then... We’re partners, aren’t we?”  
“Partners?” A quirk of one impeccable eyebrow.  
“Yes.”  
“I can live with that.”  
“Good, since I don't think you have much of a choice after crashing through that building," she tried to smile but seemed weak and quickly faded. “Take me home, partner. I... I think I’ll sleep on the way though, if you don't mind."  
"Whatever you need. Only you might want to give your uncle a few words before you sleep, he's worried about you."  
  
\---  
  
Sunny did not sleep immediately on return to the cockpit. To Hal's surprise she took the controls and took them back to the base for a last look. The fuel readings were still erratic but Ocelot was confident they would get home fine, and overruled Hal’s objections and obeyed her without question. The base had been abandoned in the short time they'd been gone, and now a pale lanky civilian helicopter flitted above the base, cautiously venturing closer when it spotted the Wildcat.  
_They’re filming us._  
Sunny watched the glittering camera lens above them then engaged the autopilot and let Ocelot take over. The Wildcat turned away from the aircraft and started to return home. Sunny leant back in her seat, looked woefully over the damaged cockpit one last time and closed her eyes against the wind that whistled through the rattling tarpaulin. She dozed fitfully on the way home, with Hal spending the trip watching over her and Ocelot planning his next move.


	29. Under Pressure

“ _People are gonna tell you who you are your whole life. You just gotta punch back and say, ‘No, this is who I am’.”_

–

Emma Swan, Once Upon A Time  
  


Ocelot did not take Sunny straight home. Experience and cynicism lead him straight to the hospital, where he awoke Sunny and her uncle. Sunny protested Hal's insistence that she go, but it was Ocelot that got her to go inside of her own volition. Hal was reluctantly grateful that Ocelot didn’t have his reputation for being a bit of a mother hen.  
  
The Wildcat caused quite a stir, parking himself immovably outside the hospital, taking up a number of parking spaces. Some well meaning individual, who didn't look out the window and misunderstood the situation, called for a tow truck. The men operating it had stared up at the problem for some time, even looked hopefully for a towing point, before eventually admitting defeat. He was at least a point of interest for the more mobile patients and easily distracted staff, who peered out of windows and came out into the parking lot to look. He only moved when an irate individual pointed out he was taking up disabled spots, to which he stepped up onto a grassy island and sat down beside a bench and an old man who paid him only enough attention to rap the Wildcat's claws with his cane.  
  
Sunny was kept in for two days, and while she'd maintained she just wanted to go home throughout her check up, she'd slept for most of her time away. Ocelot chose to conserve his remaining energy, slipping in and out of sleep mode, only waking up for Sunny and ignoring the rest of the world. Hal came and went according to visiting times, which Ocelot never obeyed at all.  
  
On the morning after her arrival Sunny was shaken up all over again. Firstly the news drew her attention with aerial views of the burnt out complex. On the screen she could finally appreciate the extent of the damage. The skeletal remains of the buildings torn in two and left to collapse in on itself, the REX had been knocked in the chaos and had slumped against the other building, leaving a crater in the side of it. Something had been set on fire and it had spread, oily smoke rose into the air. The view, momentarily obscured by smoke, panned around and then they were on screen: the Wildcat stood on the crest of the hill. The weak sunlight barely warmed the dusty shades of grey that mottled its armour, the battered landscape and the drifting ash fit its appearance like a glove, and with the camera still on the Metal Gear, it turned side on, gaze still fixed on the rubble. Battle scarred and victorious. Ocelot’s pride and confidence was unobscured even by the nominally expressionless machine, it gleamed in its every movement. A flash of cold light filled the screen as the lamps flickered over the watching cameraman. There was an ominous movement of the cannon, then the Wildcat turned and walked away without looking back.  
  
_It’s never good news when I’m on the TV._  
“We s-shouldn’t have gone back.”  
_You needed to._  
“I’ve got us into t-trouble again.”  
_BBR would have realised Hal and I lied about our whereabouts anyway, it was only really a matter of time before we were caught._  
"How is H-hal?"  
_In trouble._  
"Oh…"  
_But the media love him, so BBR is in a bit of a bind! Uncle defies orders, steals Metal Gear to save kidnapped daughter from torture at the hands of a Mexi_ _c_ _an PMC!_  
"It wasn't Balam. I-I mean…"  
_No, I know, it was someone else's orders_. He sighed. _But someone sure wants Balam blamed._  
"T-talking of the media…"  
_I told them I wouldn't talk without speaking with BBR first and went to sleep._ He laughed, but it was a brittle sound. Even Ocelot was worried that their cover was blown.  
  
That was the first blow. The second occurred moments later when Sunny’s friends arrived, drowning out the rest of the news report with their voices. Sunny had been introduced to them as a group by the father of one who’d worked at BBR. This was how she’d met most of her friends in the various places she’d lived, and couldn’t remember a time before Ocelot, since school, that ‘friendship’ had come organically, not because she felt it was necessary. She cared about her group of friends, and enjoyed the company on the whole, but now that they were here she realised guiltily that she hadn’t really missed them, and hadn’t really thought much about them. Her guilt deepened as she bitterly asked herself if they were here because they’d missed her, or because Hal had asked them to come. She tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, after all they weren’t necessarily as parsimonious with their attention as she felt she was being with hers. And yet, as their initial concern and worry dissolved loudly and they broke into their own news, Sunny found herself staring at the bed sheets, knuckles turning white and her ire and bitterness increasing. There was so much to think about, what did any of this nonsense matter? She didn't care! Her head started to ache and she started to filter them out, putting closed captions up on the TV to see if their headline would come back around, though she rather hoped it wouldn’t while the others were here.  
  
“Well it’s not surprising, is it?”   
Sunny stirred and looked around, blinking, trying to get back to the present. She was being stared at, when she didn't answer, whomever had spoken continued: “Everyone knows what can happen, not saying it’s right.” Hanna shrugged, “But that’s why women shouldn’t go off fighting. It’s just asking for it really, Sunny got lucky.”  
  
Her ears started to ring, they didn't even know what had happened! She could see them talking but didn’t catch any of the words. Fury flared up in her belly. She felt movement in the back of her mind, Ocelot stirred into attention by the fires of her anger. She took a deep breath through her nose and she squashed her feelings down, and with the extinction of the fire, numbness overcame her. Sunny determined not to say anything more to any of them, she turned the volume up on the TV and scowled at it until they left in a huff.  
  
"There's always been something weird about you, Sunny. At least be nice to Rich when he gets here. I hope you feel better soon."  
_I won’t let them back in._ Ocelot nudged her with barely concealed disgust.  
Sunny slumped down on her side and curled up, face buried into her pillows, she mumbled something.  
_What was that?_  
"Y-you heard me…"  
_Yes, but I didn't understand._  
Sunny uncurled and wrapped her arms about her pillow instead.  
"They're right... there's s-something wrong with me. I d-don't want Rich to s-show up today."  
_I'll keep him out too._ _You know,_ _what you've been doing, doesn't mean anything is wrong with you._  
"Maybe... M-maybe not. S-something is wrong with me though, I d-don't know what they did to me but I'm not n-normal."  
_Who?_  
"The P-patriots I guess."  
_Sunny... The Patriots never did anything to you, I would know if they did._  
She scowled. "Don't s-say that, that just means I was born w-wrong."  
  
Sunny blinked and Ocelot was sat on the chair beside her bed, leaning over to look her in the eyes. She turned her head back against the pillow to avoid him.  
"It's like wi-with Rich, and anyone b-before him, I keep waiting for s-s-something to change but it d-doesn't."  
_Like what?_  
"I d-don't... Feel anything." She looked up, but Ocelot just blinked waiting for her to go on. "Even back at s-school, I only ever went out with anyone wh-who asked me, because I d-didn't want to s-stand out…"  
_I thought you liked Richard?_  
"I d-do... We have fun but... I'm s-still just... I feel terrible, I'm lying to h-him and know I s-shouldn't, but I’m just… Shouldn’t I love him by now?"  
_Sunny?_ She looked up and was taken aback at the grief on his face. _Sunny I know how you feel, and there's nothing wrong with you, The Patriots didn't do anything to you either. I've met people who've described the same things as you, and I'm not so different myself, though with... Slightly different priorities... There's nothing wrong with not being romantically involved, or not wanting to be, or not feeling the desire at all._  
"But I'm s-scared if I d-don't learn to feel that way I'll be a-alone the rest of my life!"  
_There's a lot of romanticism about romance, my dear, but its not the only thing out there. What do you want out of a relationship anyway?_

Sunny sat up, looking around in confusion then finally muttered: "Well... I guess... I-I always think of what I grew up with being ideal, k-kind of, and um..." She looked down embarrassed. "I like what w-w-we have."  
_What we have?_  
"Yeah. I d-don't have any other friends I talk to like I d-do with you, or who I'd trust like I d-do you. Which is weird, I d-don’t think we’re particularly c-close, though, although now, now es-es-... Particularly we...” she shrugged. “I g-guess we couldn't really avoid it, what with how we met? We had to g-get along or... But I'm still always my most r-relaxed around y-you and—" she smiled nervously. "You make me f-feel good about being me. Uncle H-Hal means well, but he's very intent o-on me h-having a 'normal life'." She gave him a sly look. "I'm kind of s-surprised he's still at that, what with y-you around."  
_What? I'm not normal?_  
Sunny laughed weakly. "I... I mean I know this isn't going to last f-forever—"  
_What does?_  
"I guess... But I'm going to appreciate what w-we have as long as we h-have it. Is that okay?"  
Ocelot smile was hidden behind his moustache when he said: _Of course it is, and thank you by the way._  
"For w-what?" She scrubbed at her face that was starting to itch as her tears dried.  
_I'm glad you think of me as friend, because I am.  
  
_ A few stitches and quite a lot of bed rest later, with the addition of some strict instructions on the use of various pills—that Hal had to remember because Sunny wasn't listening—Sunny was discharged with the number of a good councillor from a sympathetic orderly. The Wildcat stood, watching Sunny get moved safely to Hal’s car and head off down the road towards home, then he got shudderingly to his feet. Ocelot trudged home with with as many shed consumers as possible, thinking hungrily of a GPU waiting for him back in the garage. Less longingly he thought of the reaction he was probably going to get for the trouble they’d caused, hanging out at the hospital had at least kept him out of way. Such was the life of Revolver Ocelot, he bemoaned to no one in particular, not that anyone would have sympathised with him even if they’d been listening.  
  
Away from the antiseptic reek of the hospital Sunny slept deeply for the first time since her return to town. She slept on the way home, woke up long enough to stumble to her room and drink a glass of water Hal gave her, then slept again. She woke up hours later, shivering and shaking from a nightmare, drenched in sweat and hot and wet. She was glad Hal wasn’t awake to see her shame as she bundled up her wet sheets and a shoved them into the washing machine. She didn't waste any time before getting into the shower—if Hal heard she'd just tell him she's woken up from a nightmare sweaty, it would be understandable. Turning on the faucet seemed to open a valve inside of her, and even before the water hit her, large uncontrolled tears were pouring down her cheeks and she struggled to mask her sobs.  
  
\---  
  
“I mostly just feel angry.” Sunny nudged her USB mouse about the desk.  
_Are you going to call that number?_  
“I don’t know. I don’t really want to talk about it.”  
_I think you should._  
“Really?” she snorted humourlessly and glanced over at his insubstantial self sat in a crouch against her wall.  
_Yes. I do. You've been talking to me a lot._  
"Not about that."  
_But you want to talk, you're trying to open up about something._  
She stared coldly at the interrogator. “It’s just us now isn’t it?”  
_Don’t change the subject._  
“D-don’t be a hypocrite. Look, Hal wants to try his best, but he can’t really do anything. I don’t want to see my friends, they don’t understand and wouldn’t help if they could.”  
_No sign of Rich…?_  
“No.”  
_Have you told him you two are over yet?_  
"No."  
_Are you going to?_  
"Yes! Of course I am!"  
_You know, if I had a girlfriend like you_ _and she was_ _in trouble I’d come running back in a_ _n instant_ _._  
“I’m not sure what part of that comment is more absurd.”  
_Nice to know your sense of humour is intact, Sunshine. I’ll have you know I used to do a lot of running._  
“Yeah, away from things.”  
_I came running for you.  
  
_ Sunny dropped her gaze from his translucent image to the dry skin on her fingers from healing blisters.  
“Maybe I should learn to do the same; run that is. Have you ever been tempted to… delete any of your memories? Painful ones I mean?”  
_Yes._  
“Ever done it?”  
_No._  
“I would if I could. You are stronger than me.”  
_You're not in a position to know if you'd really do it. But you're right, we're not that alike. You’re like your mother, and Snake._ Sunny looked back up again, glaring suspiciously at him. _Tell me I’m lying, you know it’s true._  
“No I don’t.”  
_We threw everything at him and he still took down REX alone. Almost. He still had help from an old friend._ His moustache twitched. _Nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong with a little help.  
  
_ She shivered, thinking of Solid Snake’s torture at this man’s whim, and how her long dead uncle had continued his mission despite it. With Hal, Meryl and Grey Fox at his side. Ocelot was right, he hadn’t been alone. Her eyes had drifted away, now they came back to Ocelot.  
“We need to finish what they started, Ocelot. Snake and Hal I mean.”  
_We’ll find them. Outer Heaven was supposed to end with us._  
“Together? They’re your army.”  
_They belong to Liquid Ocelot. He’s dead. You’re my partner now._ He looked startled. _Your uncle is here. Any messages? He wants to know how you feel._  
“Tell him I’m awake, I’ll make dinner tonight.”  
_He said: good and should he order out?_  
“Tell him I’ve been practising.”  
  
_So, are you really that bad?_  
Sunny moved the packet from one spot on the counter to the other. “Yes.”  
_Seriously? He had to have his stomach pumped?_  
“Yes.” She kept her face straight.  
_You're lying…_  
"Yes," she laughed, only wincing slightly when the cut on her lip stung.  
Ocelot grinned. _Well it’s a good job I know how to cook, lets surprise him and teach you something at the same time._  
"I'm not sure I want anything you can teach me."  
_Don’t reject it until you’ve tried it, my dear, you never know, it might not be that bad._


	30. The Anger of The Dead

" _He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature._ "

\--

Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

  


“What on Earth were you thinking hiring those people?” Holder paced in front of the desk. "He's furious and I can't blame him! Not for a second! We told them to hold the girl, not grill her for information! Information! Like we needed anything!"  
“It wasn't a total loss, we did get information from her that may prove useful."  
"Useful? Like what? That he doesn't trust us? Well I could have told you that!"  
Her one dark eye narrowed, the other just stared blindly into the distance past Holder's shoulder as she leant forwards. Holder stepped back. "The man is lost, Holder, lost, do you understand? He seeks his place in the world, and we have the key to what he seeks."  
Holder sighed. "We don't even know if it'll work, or if Shalashaska will accept our help."  
“Shalashaska will see sense in time. He always does. I’m sure it won’t take him long to catch the scent of his real quarry, his ‘beloved’ Big Boss is waiting for him, and when he realises that, nothing will stop him coming straight to us.”  
"Are you sure about that? He certainly seemed pretty invested in that girl."  
She waved her hand dismissively. "He'll abandon her soon enough. He can't change his nature any more than the rest of us, he'll forget her and come running, he can't resist the power we can give him."  
Holder squinted short-sightedly at her twisted face. "And what do we do when he shows up and doesn't think we're organised, or trustworthy?"  
She gave a lopsided grin. "Holder, it's not our fault if that sketchy PMC can't get their orders straight. We've taken care of Balam, and we have plenty of evidence of their failings, right from their own mouths. We ourselves have punished the people who harmed that girl and we will give him everything he deserves."  
  
\---  
  
The Wildcat's range had been restricted to the site, and even venturing too close to the edge of the old airfield could leave it stuck until someone came to rescue it. Ocelot had been forced to sit and take Mr Lewis' empty threats and apologise profusely to the man who, in Ocelot's opinion, had let this happen in the first place. This was his base after all, and at least 3 of his more prominent employees had turned out to be spies, for a group that had so far turned out to be almost impossible to predict. He had wanted to demand answers for how any of this had happened in the first place, but he knew Hal and he were in a lot of trouble as it was.   
This time they were lucky they had been caught.  
  
They'd set out independently, tracked down and rescued a civilian employee that no one else could find (no one had to know the Wildcat had been given directions). The shots of the enemy REX had been enough to scare those people who lived away from the Bufferlands and rarely saw Metal Gear, and once images of Sunny, bruised with a stitched up face, had gotten on TV...? Well her uncle was a hero! And the Wildcat...? It had been hard to pretend that everything was normal with it waiting patiently outside the hospital, and a few people inside of BBR had spoken out—anonymously of course—once the pressure was on. So far no one had the full story, but everyone wanted it. Some information had gotten out there, and Sunny had apologetically released information of her own. Right now the Wildcat was part enigma, part misunderstood anti-hero, whose loyalty had put him at odds to the world and made him an outcast. Sunny's support had made them one step below 'star crossed lovers' in the hungry eyes of the media and Ocelot found himself in the disorienting position of being popular. For a given value.  
  
“Hey old man, hear the news?”  
“More news?” He rumbled.  
“The new Wildcats are due to arrive in a few months.”  
Ocelot turned to glare down at the technician.  
“I guess this means you’ve been proven to be worth your metal? Heh? Oh come on I've heard your jokes."  
"How many are arriving?" He rumbled.   
"Oh, only a few. Apparently BBR are taking on one permanently here, one further down the line at one of our sister sites, and one has already been sold based on your performance alone! There’ll still be a big sales display using our machine, that’ll be good to see.”  
“What will happen to me?”  
“Rumour has it you’re being moved to the active rota, since you’re basically active anyway. We’ve had extra gear show up, so I guess they’ll be refitting you.”  
"So they're not shutting me down...?"  
"Na, you're too popular. Mr Lewis wanted to of course, thought this was a death sentence for you, turns out people LIKE the hero."  
"Ha, that's what they're calling me?"  
"Some people, others... An insult to nature and humanity... Eh." He waved it away.  
"Nothing new there then. Wait, you said they were refitting me?”  
“Your cockpit, fully equip it with the full interface modules, none of that messy stuff you've got right now. It'll be a real step up, and they'll get rid of that second seat too so there's room for the thicker armour.”  
“Good.” He grunted.  
“You’re still a one off though, don’t worry about that. The new lot are all synthetic,” he tapped the side of his head. “Suppose after you woke up everyone got scared we’d have another incident like the King Ray.”  
"The King Ray?”  
“What? No one told you?”  
  
\---  
  
Sunny looked around, confounded. “Rich I told you, it’s over, what are you doing?”  
“I just wanted to say, you know... You've been through some shit... Don't rush into anything. Wouldn’t want you to make a rash decision because of that thing.” He nodded his head towards the compound.  
“Excuse me? He has nothing to do with this, or my ‘rash decision'.”  
“Come off it! That thing’s been whispering in your ear ever since it showed up! It just wants you for itself! Remember how it came after me?”  
“Can you hear yourself? You didn't even know he was a person until the other day!”  
“Doesn't change the fact that it’s been against me since the start!”  
“He was right to be! I have work to do, I'm leaving, and this conversation is over!"  
Sunny turned and did her best to stride into the compound despite the painful ache of a healing muscle in her leg and the tears that were prickling at her eyes.  
  
A chuckle caught his attention as Rich started to leave. Leaning against the outside of the wall, a figure was grinning at him from around a crumpled cigarette. The pilot stepped closer still bearing his tobacco stained teeth.  
“Trouble?"  
"Don't you start."  
"You're not going to be a lot of use to us if you can't keep track of her."  
"Yeah well, I gave you what you wanted," he jabbed a finger in the direction Sunny had taken. "I told you what she was up to! And look what it got me! I didn’t think she was going to get hurt."  
The pilot rolled his cigarette between his fingers. "A naive girl too enamoured with a machine to pay you the attention you deserve. Her love is no great loss, surely?"  
Rich scowled. "She'll wake up and see her mistake soon enough."  
"Sure she will. We still have some work for you to do."  
  
\---  
  
Hal sat back and took off his glasses to rub his tired eyes. Despite everything that could be on his mind, or maybe because of all his options, he was concerned about the Wildcat's behaviour at the complex. The Metal Gear had been out of his control. Even with secondary access he should have been able to overrule the AI and take over, but the strength of Ocelot's will had overwhelmed him however and had made that impossible. Hal closed his eyes tightly, uncanny echoes of rage and fear still battered around behind his eyelids. Once he’d come back to the base Hal had arranged a close inspection of the Wildcat’s pilot protection system circuits. They had appeared normal, though performing operational tests and feeding test data into the Wildcat, and a RAY with the same core programs as the Wildcat, resulted in subtly different results. Too subtle, maybe enough to explain the effects Ocelot himself had mentioned, but not the violent behaviour Hal had seen.  
  
Hal looked up at the Wildcat, it wasn't looking back at him. Ocelot had been in a strange mood all day.  
"This doesn't explain anything."  
"Explain what?" Ocelot said dryly, still not looking down. Hal ignored the bite to his tone. He'd decided that Ocelot had to be aware of his behaviour during their 'mission', and that pretending it was a secret benefited no one, except possibly Ocelot himself.  
"Well... Back at the compound where we found Sunny..." The Wildcat's snarling face finally swung around towards Hal. "You were outside of my control, and while I'm sure that's a good thing in your books, it's very concerning in mine, and it needs to be rectif—"  
"Doctor Emmerich."  
"Huh?" Hal looked up quickly and pushed his glasses back to where they belonged.  
"I wasn't under your control because you were my secondary, and my primary had returned."  
Hal stared up at him uncomprehendingly, then slowly his shoulders slumped. "That was Sunny?"  
"She reconnected, she was in control," Hal frowned at the bitter tone. "I acted on my own as well of course, but I wouldn't have been able to without her... Agreement."  
"Oh..." Hal stared down at the readouts on his tablet, unable to connect anything he'd seen that day with his kind hearted niece and yet it was a reasonable explanation.  
"Now if you don't mind, Doctor, I would prefer to be left alone."  
"What? Oh, oh yes... Of course."  
"But if you see Sunny, tell her we need to talk."  
"Sunny? Ah, yes she is here today isn't she... Why don't you just..." He shook his head. "Yes I will."  
“Oh and Doctor?”  
Hal paused in his retreat.  
“When I say she was in control, I mean that in the loosest sense.”  
  
\---  
  
The lights flashed and Sunny raised an arm to protect her sleep-deprived eyes.  
_You’ve been lying to me, Sunshine. I'm sure I don’t need to tell you how ill advised that is?_  
Sunny froze in place, blinking into the glare of his flood lamps.  
“What are you talking about?” She squeaked.  
_The King Ray._ He rasped.  
The hairs on the back of Sunny’s neck stood on end, her stomach turned against her. “Who t-told you?”  
_Not the person I’d have liked._  
“Th-there was nothing to tell you.” She managed to say. “The King Ray was destroyed after it went haywire. It wasn't like you, it wasn't human. I didn’t want you to… To run off after a ghost and get yourself k-killed. It wasn’t like you.” She repeated.  
_They brought him back and “No one told me!?”_ Sunny clamped her hands over her ears, head spinning at the double onslaught on her senses. Tears of panic pricked at the back of her closed eyelids, flashes of strangers yelling in her face passed over her mind’s eye.  
“I t… t… t-told you! It wasn't him!" She cried, not opening her eyes.  
_They were his memories!_  
"But not h-him! He never w-woke up, it was a d-disaster, not—And how could I t-tell you? Look how you’ve been without him: all your c-choices, all your actions? They're all yours! F-for you and no one else! You s-said s-so yourself, all your memories of-of him… it wasn’t what you thought… You've been c-chasing those memories for m-months and you've not been able to pinpoint—”  
The lamps flashed. She stopped. The Wildcat’s cameras whirred and studied Sunny’s flushed face.  
  
_Sunny… Look at me._ He said, more softly this time. She slowly dropped her hands and raised her face, blinking back the threatening tears. Ocelot stared unabashedly from behind his mask, watching her glistening eyes flickering mechanically over him, automatically looking for the missing human component, the subtleties of posture, facial expression that he was now missing, or distorting so far out of most people’s ability to understand. But Sunny? She had a talent for understanding, of knowing, reading him in a way that should have been impossible. He relaxed his stance, Sunny’s eyes flickered to his drooping shoulders then back up to his head, which was slowly tilting.  
_You misunderstand me. I don’t want him back. I want him dead._  
She searched his face, beyond his face.  
“What do mean?” She whispered.  
  
_I shouldn’t have shouted Sunny._ _Y_ _ou’re right. I_ _do_ _remember everything. The man he was, the man he became. The pain and the anger that broke and twisted him and corrupted everything and everyone he came into contact with!_ He sighed. _He was dangerous. A savage and wounded animal bent on making all around him suffer as he did._ _H_ _e couldn't see i_ _t like that_ _but that's what it was.  
_ The Wildcat’s head sunk lower and Sunny flinched.  
_You're telling me the King Ray’s body was never recovered, that it lies in enemy territory? Territory now haunted by Otselotovaya Khvatka? How long before they forget about me and turn to him? They stabilised my AI after all._ _T_ _hey have the technology. So long as that AI is intact not one of us is safe, and the cycle remains unbroken!  
  
_ “O-okay, lets say you have a point, if the AI is intact. How can I trust you? On this, of all things. Ocelot I...” She trailed off, she felt fear; his fear and tried to trace it back to its source but he slipped through her fingers, back into a haze of… Something, something she couldn’t quite understand.  
"I wish I could t-trust you, normally I d-do! You know I do! But everything you've d-done, every person you betrayed or used or killed in the last few decades before your d-death was in his name." She let her arms fall limply at her sides. "I don't want to be another statistic, Ocelot, and I don't want you throwing away this chance at another life."  
_Some life._  
"What?"  
There it was again, something beyond the normal images or emotions that leaked from the Wildcat’s AI that nipped at her mind then fled again. This stayed around for longer, pushed at the edges of her mind like a headache. Anger. Deep, deep anger. She started to shake.  
  
_Snake_ _as I knew him died when I was still young._ He was almost whispering. _He died with The Boss, he said as much himself, but it’s taken me this long to understand_ _what he meant_ _. Whatever survived_ _that fight_ _was... Well if anything does lie in the shell of the King Ray it's not sane. I know_ _all_ _too well that my survival was due to my originality, if the King Ray had retained its lucidity, that wouldn't be true,_ _there’d have been no reason to keep me alive_ _. There's nothing left out there, not of Big Boss_ _and certainly_ _not of my friend._ The anger flared. _All I want is to see is that what does remain is destroyed, that it can't be used by unscrupulous individuals who don't understand that... The past should be left where it lies.  
_ Sunny found herself shaking and hugged herself.  
“Ocelot... It's gone, it's been out there for s-so long and it was as good as d-destroyed. I... know I should have told you, I am sorry. I am! You understand why I couldn't though, don’t you?”  
_Sadly, y_ _es._  
“So even if there is something left out there, you know you can’t be the one to finish the job?”  
_Who else would you trust to do it?  
_ “Anyone but you.”  
_But Sunny—_  
"No."  
_But who else can enter that territory, knowing the soldiers waiting there want him alive? Anyone else would be a sitting duck.  
_ "But no one else is going out there."  
_Now. But if Otselotovaya Khvatka do turn their sights on him…_  
Sunny looked away, head starting to throb from the powerful beams of light. “Ocelot...”  
_Please. Let me finish what I started, Sunny. Let me kill_ _Big Boss,_ _let me kill the creature that ate up my friend from the inside out. Let me see it finished._


	31. Starting Gun

“ _There are two kinds of idiots_ _—_ _those who don't take action because they have received a threat, and those who think they are taking action because they have issued a threat._ ”

\--

Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

 

The moment the gates opened Ocelot took off like a bullet from a gun. Gravel was kicked up and rattled down on the security block in his wake like freak hail. Sunny was thrown back in the seat and her nerves over their upcoming mission weren't enough to stop a smile appearing on her lips. Ocelot's relief at getting out of the base was contagious, but getting here hadn't been quick work, it had been three months since Sunny and Hal had first started to discuss this new problem added to the pile of pre-existing problems.  
  
The more Sunny had considered it, the more legitimate she felt Ocelot's concerns. The King Ray was a large, heavily armoured amphibious Metal Gear. It did seem far fetched to think that after all these years since it had been brought down, its AI was still viable, that there was anything out there worth more than the price of scrap metal. There was a chance, a slim chance, that its armour and various protective layers had been good enough to keep the computers safe, from the initial bombardment and from the weather. Safe enough at least that the memory banks could be secured and reused. Hal was of course completely against Ocelot having anything to do with the lost Metal Gear, but even he had sat back, pale and worried, as he imagined this unpredictable PMC getting their hands on an AI built in Big Boss' image.  
  
Ocelot was right, they did have the technology. They didn't have the money though, Hal had pointed out, and possibly the technical ability: they'd had to employ BBR for that. If they hadn’t needed the company, the Wildcat would never have been built there—except now they presumably had West. Despite this catch in the hypothetical plan to bring back the Boss of Outer Heaven however, neither Hal nor Sunny could shake off the feeling that Ocelot was right. There was a potential for Big Boss to be resurrected. Unlike Ocelot, Big Boss' very name could stir up the obsessive cults that hung onto the mercenary dream and spoke of flawed men as if they were gods and heroes. It probably wouldn't take a lot to find someone who would fund his return.  
"And lets face it," Sunny had said. "He doesn't need a unique body, just a brain that can match the Wildcat's. We don't know why Otselotovaya Khvatka had the Wildcat chassis built in the way it was."  
  
The stress of another potential risk on the horizon left Hal with a pounding headache and a fluttering heartbeat, he watched the fatigue settle heavily on Sunny's shoulders and hurt for her. It had been Ocelot's suggestion to leave Bennett's role unannounced, they'd expected the Red Jackal's pilot to vanish along with West and Bran, but instead he'd acted as if nothing at all had happened. So they watched him.  
  
Maybe putting the King Ray at risk would draw the Red Jackal's pilot away from BBR for good. If nothing else removing it as a threat would be one less thing for Sunny to worry about. To an outsider Sunny and Ocelot behaved as cordially to Bennett as any other workmate. Only Hal was aware of how close an eye they were keeping on him and how much of an effect having him around was having on Sunny. He was less aware of the effect Ocelot was having on her. She openly admitted that Ocelot’s frustration over the King Ray was a source of stress, but that could be guessed easily enough. What Hal was not aware of was the emotional pressure, it was impossible for her to avoid it now. He thought of Big Boss, and his thoughts were black and cold. In a twisted way it was a comfort, she looked for excitement, the desire to reunite with an old friend, and found nothing—and she looked constantly. If she found anything at all it was pain for Snake, the man Big Boss had been long before his decent into madness.  
  
Ultimately they had agreed that someone should go out there and confirm the King Ray's destruction, even if that meant bringing the core back to BBR. Hal had approached Mr Lewis on the subject, drafting up a solid reason for their concerns and even a solution, but he'd been sent away.  
"Leave it with me," Mr Lewis had said, that one comment that made Hal mentally label it as a lost cause and return to Sunny with a heavy heart.  
  
Less than a month later Sunny had been called up to Mr Lewis' office, as he had a proposition of his own. Ocelot would get his wish, he would be sent out to destroy what was left of the King Ray, Sunny however would be required to report back each day without fail or they would be shut down immediately. There would be a test of the emergency shut down procedures before the Wildcat was released, and Hal would have to be off site for the entire time, considering his earlier indiscretions. Most importantly it would be kept quiet and the mission would keep them out of BBR's hair until the last incident had blown over. As far as anyone outside of the company knew, this was a standard operation, nothing to write home about. Sunny was left in shock and feeling sick, Mr Lewis had smiled benignly up at her and given her time to make her choice.  
  
Ocelot had agreed with her initial reaction: Mr Lewis wasn't trusting the two of them, this was a set up of some kind, even if it was just to keep them out of the way for a few weeks.  
  
"Maybe he'll make it look like you tried to get away, shut you down no matter what we do and report it as your fault? He'd be allowed to shut you down for good then."  
It was a risk Ocelot was willing to take. To see this mission through he'd risk whatever it was Mr Lewis was planning, as Otselotovaya Khvatka were the larger threat. Sunny was unsure, if the Wildcat was shut down remotely, she could probably get around it and restart him, but if they activated the self destruction protocols there would be no turning back the clock. Ocelot however didn't feel that BBR was ready to throw away their investment just yet, and that Mr Lewis would have some serious questions to answer if he acted alone and as their supervisor he was already on thin ice. So, promising her uncle that she would retain complete control at all times, she gave Mr Lewis her answer: they would destroy or bring back the King Ray's AI core.  
  
Over the last few months Sunny’s physical injuries had healed. Thin silvery scars had replaced her stitches and bruises had formed under her eyes not from blows but fatigue, but from the outside she was otherwise unmarked. She was still having nightmares, though they were not as violent as before she still woke up sweaty and shaken regularly. She struggled to get enough sleep, though things had gotten slightly better when Ocelot suggested she leave her reading light on at night. Despite Ocelot's encouragement however she continued to neglect the phone number she had been given and Hal grew increasingly concerned. She’d withdrawn, refusing to see her friends and preferring to communicate with her friend from abroad and Ocelot only. She spent more time in the run down garden and less time in town. Occasionally someone she knew would show up looking for her but they quickly grew uncomfortable and made their exit. The initial swarm of reporters became a trickle, then gave up as new more interesting stories arose. Ocelot was kept inside the walls and BBR refused access to the media. It was speculated that their grip on him was tenuous. Some outlets voiced their sympathy for him, kept prisoner inside the base, others asked aloud if this was a precautionary measure to control a dangerous machine. BBR assured anyone who'd listen that the Wildcat was not only under control, but willingly cooperating with the company.  
  
Mr Lewis' behaviour grew increasingly hard to predict. Hal was already furious with him for giving Sunny this new mission so soon after the incident, but his skittish behaviour left him afraid for Sunny's safety on this mission, for reasons beyond Otselotovaya Khvatka's potential presence near Lake Nicaragua. Ocelot had had to suffer a long blank period in his memory lasting the best part of a fortnight as he was shut down and refitted. He woke up feeling like he'd be left in an ice bath for a day, but with a smartly furnished new cockpit to show for it. The camera inside had been rotated 180 degrees and now he could see the narrow armoured compartment he'd been fitted with. It was similar to the one he’d been familiar with in RAY and the test panels and extraneous control panels had been removed. What was left had been condensed into all his single pilot would need. He was happy with the look, it was now impossible for anyone to enter the cockpit alongside Sunny and the thicker armour between her, his brain and the outside world was a comfort.  
  
\---  
  
Sunny, unable and unwilling to sleep, had left a note for Hal and slipped out of the house at nearly 5 am, with the intent of walking to BBR and starting work early. Ocelot had offered her the comfort of the cockpit on her arrival, and almost immediately she'd managed to fall back to sleep. She didn't dream and slept deeply, until at nearly 7 am the Wildcat's movements woke her up and she sat up, blinking and confused.  
  
Mr Lewis had come in early, narrow eyed and fatigued. The night shift were getting ready to leave, the day shift were starting to trickle in. Almost everyone had found an excuse to be drinking tea or skulking around their tool kits instead of working and so the base was quiet despite the traffic. Mr Lewis hadn’t known Sunny had come in even earlier than he, and was unaware that as she stretched as best she could in the small space she was listening to everything.  
  
“…I’ve arranged for your passage over the border, Sunny will have the paperwork, but you'll only have the barest minimum of support out there. If you’re not back here in two months we have no guarantees you’ll come back at all, and as I'm sure you're aware, Sunny is required to report back daily—Sunny herself. You’ll be under surveillance of course, and your progress will be tracked. You go straight there, destroy the AI and come back,” he glowered. “I’ll be giving Sunny a full briefing, but I’ll tell you too: she’ll be sending an alert straight back here if you do anything outside of our agreement.”  
“This isn’t an agreement you’re just telling me what to do.”  
“You’ll agree if you want this mission.”  
“…I agree.”  
“I knew you’d see sense. Step out of line and I will have them pull the plug on you, no matter where Sunny might be at the time, but that AI needs to be recovered or destroyed.” Sunny squinted down at the narrow man on the screen as he pinched his nose. "I don't believe either of us want these fanatics controlling the King Ray." He shot the Wildcat a spiteful look. "You wouldn't want him a slave to the whims of others now would you? That ha, was always your point, right?" The Wildcat rumbled softly as the man turned to leave. "So see to it that core is destroyed. Oh, and you can't swim, so please _,_ don't fall in the lake."  
"That sounded sincere." Sunny mumbled.  
  
\---  
  
The rhythmic drumming of the Wildcat’s feet became comforting background noise as Sunny ran over the way points again, fixing them in her mind.  
"Don't go too far, Ocelot. We still have that test to perform."  
The Wildcat's speed dropped to a trot.  
_What are we like for fuel? Barely had enough to get to and from the compound they were keeping you._  
"Your fuel gauge has been fixed, so now you really are full on fuel. The batteries are all fully charged too, but we should charge those at every opportunity. There will be a refuelling station at the boarder where we cross, they've been given orders ahead of time to see we're good to go. Both ways."  
_Wonderful._  
  
Lake Nicaragua was many days journey from here, but it was at least a fairly straight forward trip. There was a settlement on its shores, one that had been reopened as a military base shortly after larger military groups in South America had started to become an issue. It had been short lived however, as the King Ray had torn through it and the bombs dropped. The bombs had been to take out the Metal Gear but they had also flattened the buildings around it. If there were roads still leading to that part of the lake they were long abandoned and overgrown, but that was what Metal Gear had legs for.  
  
“Why Lake Nicaragua?”  
_Hmn?_  
“Why would it go there, of all places. The King Ray was built for open water, not a lake, it would be trapped there, and it's so far? It travelled all that way, fighting the whole time, instead of just heading for the sea, and when it got there it just... Stopped?”  
_Stopped?_  
“At the edge of the lake. I was reading the published reports, they all said the same thing: the King Ray reached the edge of the water and they expected it to dive, but it just stood there until it couldn’t stand any more.”  
_Maybe he wasn't looking for water._  
“What do you mean?”  
_Tell me the story of the King Ray, and I’ll tell you the story of Lake Nicaragua._  
"I thought you'd heard it already?"  
_I have, but I want to hear it from you anyway._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next two chapters following this one: "Madness of the King" and "Sympathy for the Devil" will be posted at the same time, due to their short length!


	32. Madness of The King

“ _I had a dream I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.”_

\--

Stan Laurel

  


Sunny sucked on her teeth while she thought, watching the computers respond to the system back at base.   
"All clear. Over." She responded, almost immediately the Wildcat froze, Ocelot grumbled and the HUD flashed: MANUAL OVERRIDE ENGAGED. Sunny nodded to herself. "Long range override successfully engaged, resetting now. Over."  
"Very good, Wildcat you're clear for departure. Have a good trip. Over."  
"Thank you very much. Over and out.  
  
_So?_  
"Well... You know the King Ray was the last MB-AI, right? Before you?"  
_Yes._  
Sunny rubbed the back of her neck and took the Wildcat towards their first way point. Control of the machine had felt stiff since he'd discovered the King Ray, and while he assured her he wasn't angry, he didn't feel not angry either. He hadn't been speaking to her much in the evenings leading up to the mission. Sunny was uncomfortable, but ploughed on with the story.  
  
\---  
  
The King Ray was supposed to be a new kind of Metal Gear, the link between Metal Gear and Arsenal Gear. Sunny had never seen it in person. It had been under going tests long before she and Hal had joined site Epsilon-6. She remembered it clearly from the TV however. A towering multi-limbed monster with burning eyes and jaws large enough to crush any Metal Gear that got in its way. Apparently it had been shorter than a nuclear submarine, but in Sunny's memory it was perfectly large enough. A strange horizontal beast with big legs and short supporting forearms that flattened out into fins for submarine activity. It shared RAY’s ballast wings, but had two sets of them, hiding a massive arsenal of missiles and rockets. Planes jutted out from its sides, awkward looking on dry land but vital for the huge machine's underwater mobility. Its head was the same as a RAY's, only a normal RAY would have fit neatly into its jaws, which were fitted with rows of metal tearing teeth.  
  
When the AI had gone rogue it had happened quickly. One moment there had been an explosion at the base. The next the machine had gone lumbering its way southwards. Its footsteps had remained for a long time, slowly being filled in by the weather. The road it had torn up had quickly been repaved, but there was still a pale area in the walls where the King Ray had torn through. The official report released by BBR claimed that a power surge from the AI had injured the pilots as it became unhinged. It was only after she joined BBR that Sunny learned more details. While there was nothing solid to prove otherwise, there were still reasons to doubt this official stance.  
  
The King Ray had never gotten past testing. The day it had stepped smoothly and faultlessly out of the hangar for the first time, there had been no suspicion of a problem. The biggest concern at the time was the abandoned runway developing cracks under its weight. The functional tests had been performed satisfactorily. The operational tests threw up minor faults, asymmetries, irregular movement. With everything done for the day and logged, the pilots were ordered to return it to its hanger.  
  
It didn’t move.  
Radio contact failed.  
  
When attempts to hail the cockpit failed, the remote controls were used to override the test-pilots’ inputs. When the cockpit doors opened it was immediately apparent an ambulance would be required. Three pilots had been found in the grip of intense seizures. The first officer died from secondary injuries before the ambulance arrived. The second passed away in hospital and the engineer who survived suffered irreparable brain damage and never recovered from his vegetative state.  
  
The autopsies showed haemorrhaging and extensive bruising on the brain, and injuries from where the unfortunates had flailed out at their surroundings. The cause of the initial damage could not be found. Until the report came in the King Ray was left stranding outside, untended. Testing the equipment thoroughly brought up nothing that could have caused the deaths. The engineers suspected the nanolink of the powerful machine may have overwhelmed the crew. Filters were installed to control the data flow back to the pilots. The tests were restarted only to cease against just as fast.  
  
There had been photos from that day. It had been raining prior and the King Ray had gleamed golden in the lamp glow, shimmering wetly. It moved with careful precise steps always according to the instructions coming from the ground. Those on the ground praised the pilots for their skills. It passed the new tests with flying colours. All radio responses from the crew were prompt and to the point. Though maybe a little echoing. A note was made to identify the fault with the radio.  
  
They were patting each other on the back by the end of the test, and missed that the echo on the radio had stopped some time ago. Those who did notice thought the fault had been with the settings, and the pilots had fixed it. With the rain coming back in heavier and a gusting wind picking up, it was considered safer to bring the tests to an end. With a confident smile the lead supervisor signalled the pilots to return to the hanger. Once again the King Ray failed to move. Over the radio the pilots confirmed the orders, but the machine remained frozen in place. Suddenly fearing a repeat of the horrible incident that had taken out the previous pilots, the supervisor ordered the King Ray’s cockpit to be opened before anything happened. Rain poured into the open doors as the head dropped and tilted to let the pilots out. The ground crew sprinted out there, hands on their phones. They saw the pilots slumped over the controls, still and drenched by the rain. A cry went up and the King Ray twitched violently, the crew were flipped carelessly out to the ground. They crumpled when they hit the concrete and no one doubted they were dead.  
  
Sirens blared the moment the King Ray, flinching and shaking its head, stood up and looked around. People scattered. Two RAY that had been coming back into the base screamed and swung down into a combat stance, but they must have decided this was beyond their abilities because when the King Ray turned on them, they ran left and right to get out of its way. When the King Ray bellowed it sounded like a heartbroken whale, but it lowered its head and ploughed through the gates, tearing the walls down with it, like an enraged rhinoceros.  
  
Its route south had been meandering, footage of it showed it flicking its limbs and head erratically and shivering like a leaf. There were attempts to attack it of course, and by the time it reached its goal its ballast wings were little more than stumps, its tail a mangled mess dragging along behind it and its body dented and crippled. It had reached the water’s edge, stopped and its legs were bombarded. They finally gave in and the King Ray was left thrashing on its side. Too dangerous to approach, but too damaged to escape, the King Ray was left to run down on its own. The pilots bodies were examined and hauntingly revealed to have been dead for most of the exercise, their nano-machines were found in huge concentrations in their engorged throats, suffocating them and cutting off the blood supply to their brains.   
  
The area where the King Ray had fallen had become a place to avoid. The King Ray had a nuclear power source and the fear was that with the damage it had sustained it might start leaking. Occasionally people investigated the Metal Gear, but attempts to salvage it were non-starters. It was a ruin, and no one dared get into it to boot it up. The area was left alone, the King Ray inoperative.  
  
\---  
  
Sunny lapsed into silence after the story and for a long time Ocelot didn't respond.  
Finally, quietly he said: _Are you quite sure he didn't wake up?_  
"I actually investigated after you woke up, because I started to wonder myself. There were plenty of readings from the AI still on record, nothing compared to what you put out. It was completely erratic, the deaths of the pilots aligned with strong responses from the self defence system, but very little of anything else."  
_What does that mean?_  
"I mean... It wasn't thinking about what it did. You would be showing signs of higher levels of processing, visual, audio, problem solving, signs that you were engaged with the situation. It wasn't, not at all. It was barely aware of its surroundings, just enough to…"  
_I get it. It was all instinct, no intelligence._  
"Yeah, basically. Ocelot...?"  
_I was just thinking, it's for the best. If he had been conscious, then all this time stuck at the lake? Couldn't be good for him._  
"No... You okay?"  
_Yes. I think so. So! You wanted to know about the lake?_  
"Please."


	33. Sympathy for The Devil

" _But remember, there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them_."

\--

David Wong

 

 _Lake Nicaragua was where Snake became Big Boss. Really became Big Boss. Technically speaking he'd 'earned' the name a decade before, but he'd hated it, rejected it completely. You know the story? The Boss, hero of the United States betrays her country and is assassinated by her last apprentice, Naked Snake, who earned himself the titled of Big Boss by doing so._  
  
_After he left The Patriots and took up with Kazuhira Miller, he gladly continued to call himself Snake. He and Miller founded MSF, and Snake often took part in missions himself. That included coming to shore in_ _Costa Rica_ _on a number of trips. Ones that introduced him to early weapon system AIs: Pupa, Cocoon, Chrysalis and Peace Walker, or the Basilisk. They were simple things by today’s standards, but they were formidable none the less. More so since nothing of their like had been seen before. They were early Metal Gear, very early, you would barely recognise them as being relatives. Pupa, Chrysalis and Cocoon were precursors to Peace Walker, she was the only one you might call a Metal Gear proper, the Wildcat line takes after her in many ways._  
"She?"  
_Yes._  
  
_You are aware that the data retrieved from that project lead to today’s Memory Bank AIs, correct? The Peace Walker had two AIs: the Mammal Pod and the Reptile Pod. The Mammal Pod, The Boss AI, BS IMAGO, whatever you care to call it, was built using The Boss as a model for the AI. Her life, her memories, all the details that her designer could find and incorporate into its build. In the end, something of The Boss’ personality, reborn into the AI won out. She lived for her country, and to save it from nuclear holocaust for a second time, she walked into the lake. Singing... She was singing as she drowned herself and saved us from annihilation, not just America, Russia, everyone. Snake couldn’t see that. Even though he'd known her and what she was like, he saw not loyalty but betrayal. In his eyes she'd put down her weapons, she gave up, her suicide was the ultimate treachery. She gave up and stopped fighting where he wouldn't and so he accepted the title of Big Boss. He was always selfish, every action she made, he took personally, and he’d never forgive her for this. In hindsight,_ _I wonder if_ _seeing her make that choice and stubbornly doing the opposite,_ _didn’t_ _seal his fate right then and there._  
  
_Lake Nicaragua was where Snake stopped existing. It was there he became Big Boss, where he became a different man entirely who would go down in history not as the Hero that took down The Boss, but a warlord. If the King Ray went back there I’d guess it was to find something he lost, or to seek her out. Maybe it wasn't even thinking of a reason, maybe she just drew him back._  
  
_I don't know what happened to the Peace Walker, during the 80s her AI was recovered and helped identify... A murderer. One of the people who'd been a part of her creation was adamant that she was just a machine, there was no 'person' in there. Maybe he was right, you couldn't exactly have a conversation with her, but she had uncanny timing, and was the first person to identify that the Big Boss that was leading us then wasn't John... Heh. My work still wasn't good enough to fool her. Now after that? I couldn't tell you. I'd guess she was recovered at some point. Might even be a bit of the Peace Walker technology in me. Now wouldn't that be fitting?_  
  
Sunny remained silent for a long while. She'd kept control of the Wildcat as Ocelot spoke, and she remained in control now. Navigating through roadblocks and check points, refreshing her knowledge of the controls now that they'd been moved around. After a while of ignoring Ocelot's antsy comments. she let him roam freely over the open ground between populated way points.  
  
_What have you been thinking about?_  
“Hmn?”  
_You have been very quiet._  
“Just… trying to understand. To put my self in his position. Big Boss, he was trained by The Boss wasn’t he?”  
_She practically raised him._  
“Must have been hard not understanding why she’d do that, die for her cause I mean.”  
_Must have._  
"You don't sound convinced?" It was Ocelot's turn to fall silent.  
Eventually he said: _It's not that I don't sympathise, but he once complained to me how The Boss had left him alone to go on a mission, never got into contact with him, nothing. He was bitter about it, even then, years later. I get why, when he did see her again it was only a few hours before she defected to the Soviet Union, it must have stuck in his mind._  
"So what?"  
_He was an adult when she left, her work was no_ _t unknown_ _to him, her mission was secret. More than that, the reason she left was in part to kill The Sorrow._  
"Your father?"  
_Yes. I can't imagine, don't want to know, what that did to her. I remember what losing Big Boss did to me, and I wasn't even the one pulling the trigger. The thing is, she came back after that, after being hurt so badly, and Snake, who meant so much to her just wanted to know why she'd left him. He made it all about him._ Ocelot fell silent again until Sunny had began to think he'd finished. _He never tried to understand how she felt. That was how he was with everyone. I sympathise with how he was feeling, but he never stopped to think it just wasn't about him._  
"This is... Going to sound ruder than I mean it. It's kind of surprising you have insight on her goals, when for you, it does seem to have been all about Big Boss."  
_Oh sure, but just because I had one set of goals doesn't mean I can't appreciate other people's. Though The Boss' dreams were misinterpreted by a lot of different people in a lot of different ways. I don't care to guess what she really wanted._  
  
"Off the record?"  
_Huh?_  
"Just between the two of us, no global agencies involved, what do you think she wanted?"  
_... I think... I think she wanted people to think for themselves. To find out what they wanted to fight for, and fight for it with all their heart. The thing is, loosing The Sorrow had made her very bitter and lonely. In part, she didn't have dreams for the future, she just wanted to turn back the clock to how it was before, when she had The Sorrow and everything was right in her world. She couldn't have that, and she imparted her bitterness to Snake. Apparently she once told Snake that having feelings for a comrade is the greatest sin you can commit. She would have been so unhappy to see how I turned out._ He laughed, but it was a hollow sound. _I had a great deal of admiration for her, but she was human, she had flaws the same as everyone else._  
“I don't think she would have been disappointed in you, you're a lot like her, from what you've told me.”  
_Like The Boss? I shouldn't think so._  
"The two of you both spent your lives fighting for people who didn't appreciate you."  
_Sunny…_  
"You said so yourself, he was selfish."  
_I can say that, I knew him, but he was still my friend!_  
"I just... I don't want to see you throw your life away for a cause like she did."  
_Would I?_  
  
Ocelot made a strangled noise as Sunny wrenched back on the controls so hard the Wildcat’s head reached its toes.  
_Sunny!_  
“You’ve done it before!”  
_I—_  
“And it wasn’t worth it! Was it? Throwing away everything, for what? So a s-selfish old man could die in a potter’s field instead of a Patriot hospital!?”  
_To finish it, Sunny. So_ _Solid_ _Snake didn’t die thinking like his father, he was absolved of sins that we put in motion. So I had closure! Now I want to make sure those sins stay buried in the past, where they belong! How can I move on with him, it, rotting out here for anyone to make use of?_  
"What would he have thought of it anyway? Would he have seen it as a betrayal, what you did?"  
_If he’d been in a position to, maybe he wouldn't have even noticed and I’d have been another lost soldier to him._  
"Even you don't believe that."  
_What do you want from us, Sunny, what do you want from me? I know he wasn't perfect, I know he was fucked up and hateful and people threw their lives away for him, because of him, people I cared about too! I don't know how he'd have felt about it,_ _I don’t know he could have felt anything,_ _I didn't know he would go to S_ _olid Snake_ _and just die after everything EVA and I did! In the end, I didn't know him any more!_  
Sunny remained silent.  
_I never knew what was going on inside his head, he hardly talked unless he was asking me to do something for him, or ordering me. I saw him in pain, and I saw him try to find ways to alleviate that pain and all he did was make it worse, but damn it Sunny I didn't know how to help him! I thought he knew best!_ His voice cracked under the strain and Sunny felt the tension in her shoulders leave her.  
"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I know how much he meant to you. I'm sorry, I keep thinking of the Peace Walker just walking into the water… singing…" She shook her head. "And the messages from Naomi after it was all over. Things she said about you, about what you'd told her."  
_The m_ _essages?_ _They weren’t destroyed?_  
"Ocelot, no one should be made to feel that way by someone they love. The people you love are supposed to make you feel better about yourself, more confident, not... Not 'insignificant'."  
The flinch was tangible, the entire Wildcat twitched.  
_She... Told_ _him_ _about that…_  
"She cared and worried about you. Now I understand why."


	34. Under Control

" _All that is gold does not glitter,_  
_Not all those who wander are lost;_  
_The old that is strong does not wither,_  
_Deep roots are not reached by the frost._  
_From the ashes a fire shall be woken,_  
_A light from the shadows shall spring;_  
_Renewed shall be blade that was broken:_  
_The crownless again shall be king._ "

\--

J. R. R. Tolkien, Lord of The Rings

 

 

The final checkpoint and the border guard were right on top of each other. The air was tense with animosity from either side. Sunny was grateful for Ocelot’s company, as no one stayed around for long with the Metal Gear staring them down. She was also grateful that he could handle himself, as she would have otherwise been required to constantly disembark to have her papers checked, have a disbelieving uniform double-check with his tired superior, wait around for a reply, then climb back aboard just to move him to another spot, climb back down again and go through the same thing yet again. No wanted to process her wrong and no one trusted that this skinny young woman in the prototype, with no back up, could possibly be really going where she said she was going. Sunny had quickly lost her anxiety, and now found the whole process boring. Seeing the gawpers looking up at the unusual Metal Gear had not lost its charm just yet however, maybe she felt just a little untouchable.  
  
_It’s not all rosy_ , he said picking up on her thoughts. _Eventually having people avoid you all the time gets tiresome._  
Sunny glanced around and chose to stay quiet: _Didn’t like it?_  
_I was a man who avoided company… Whether I wanted to or not._  
_I thought ocelots preferred to hunt alone?_  
Oh. You saw that?  
Sunny smiled to herself. _I’m afraid so_  
_That may have been mostly bravado._  
And 'I am not an ocelot'?  
Ocelot snorted. _Okay okay... Pay attention to the man, he's talking to you._  
  
So we’re being tailed?  
“Two GEKKO,” she confirmed as the cockpit closed and she returned to the darkness of the Wildcat’s skull. “To make sure we stick to the planned route.”  
_Shouldn’t be a problem then. Unless you have plans you're not sharing?_  
“Not me.”  
  
It was about 5 minutes later that the two GEKKO, dusty old things, popped up behind them, trotting to catch up in the larger Metal Gear’s stride. The Wildcat's stride was long as they determined to plough ahead until nightfall. It was already getting late. They’d made good time on their own but the border crossing had held them back far too long. Sunny found herself blinking back sleep, nodding over the controls despite the cool air being filtered around her. The hum of the computer systems and the rumble of the engines lulling her to sleep. Ocelot watched her shake herself and rub her eyes. Once a suitable area presented itself the Wildcat stepped off the road and refused to move any further.  
_My feet hurt._  
“Liar.”  
_Tomorrow you can carry me instead. Now call home before someone panics and shuts me down, please._  
  
Remaining head and shoulders above the scrubby tree line the Wildcat had a clear view of the road and the land around them. The road went only a short distance before vanishing around a bend and plunging into the trees. The GEKKO hunkered down on the far side of the road and blended in comfortably with their background, they lowed quietly to one another as if in conversation. The Wildcat dropped to its haunches and then lowered itself to the ground. Sunny popped the canopy, threw her bundled up ground sheet out and dropped down after it. She stayed on the far side of the Wildcat, away from the road.  
_You're not sleeping out there are you? There's nasty things in the_ _grass_ _._ He teased.  
“Including you. I just want a break that's all.” She smoothed out the sheet with her foot, kicked off her boots and struggled out of her light armour.  
_You'll need to put that back on again._ Ocelot pointed out.  
"I am not sleeping in it!" She yanked off her socks and plopped down with a relieved sigh as the cool air washed over her toes. She wiggled them happily and started to reach through a few simple stretches.  
  
A puff of hot electronically dried air washed over her and Sunny grumbled and opened one eye. The Wildcat was leaning over her, it deliberately vented hot waste air from its computer bay over her again. It washed over her bare legs and she suddenly became uncomfortably aware of herself and sat up. Ocelot frowned to himself, cutting himself off mid chuckle as Sunny's face dropped and she nervously tugged her vest back over her stomach and dragged her legs under her and sat on them. The relaxation that had been in her posture only moments before suddenly vanished and was replaced by tense shoulders and clenched hands.  
_Sunny?_  
She looked up and met his pale blue eyes as he shimmered into existence beside her.  
_Can I sit with you?_  
"Yeah."  
_VR?_  
  
He walked around in front of her and sat where he was slightly beside, slightly in front of her, facing her. Coatless, white shirt bright in the low light, leaning on his knees, clothed in dark blue slacks with red stitching in the seams. Sunny stared at the sharp spurs and the steel tips of his boots near her legs, then looked up and nodded. The universe flickered. The stars became too sharply defined in the darkening sky. The complex structure of the undergrowth went out of focus, then came back with considerably less variation and depth. Ocelot hadn't changed or moved, he continued to gaze out into the trees, fingers interlaced across his knees, but now he seemed more solid and no longer pixilated towards the edges. Sunny's eyes dropped to the red leather gloves, wondering what had happened to the person who'd burnt him.  
  
"How are you doing?"  
Sunny jumped and looked up, his eyebrows were knotted, but it was hard to tell if he was worried, as he almost always looked like that.  
"I'm doing okay. Just... Going to need some time…"  
"You have all the time in the world, don't rush yourself."  
She touched the scar over her lip.  
"You know," he said, startling her out of her thoughts. "You and I have matching scars now."  
"We do?"  
He looked sheepish and tilted his head back. "You probably can't see it," he rubbed his thumb across his lip, brushing the grey bristles of his moustache aside for a moment. "Not quite as dramatic as how you got yours."  
"Then how?"  
"EVA punched me so hard my lip split open."  
Sunny laughed. "Why?"  
"Don't laugh..." but he was grinning. "Scared her, she thought I was there to kill her or capture her or something."  
"When was this? I thought you two were friends?"  
"We were, just not at this point in time. It was in Hanoi, she was stuck out there, Snake and I went to find her and I got to her first." He snorted. "That's what you get for trying to be a white knight for a lady like EVA."  
  
Sunny edged closer to him, but froze when he released his hands and turned to look at her. She shuffled away again.  
"It's okay."  
"Really?"  
He nodded and as she came back to sit beside him properly, he wrapped an arm loosely about her back, giving her shoulder a light squeeze.  
"Thank you," she mumbled, leaning against him. "How are you doing?"  
"Me? Why?"  
She smiled and looked up. "You're so suspicious. Why do you think? I know you're struggling to accept that it's not really Big Boss out here."  
Ocelot looked up at the sky for a moment, then back down at his knees, then at her. "I'm fine."  
"You sure? I know you wanted this mission, but I'd understand if you weren't happy about it."  
"There's a lot on my mind, yes." His hand slid up her shoulder to hang limply over her collarbone, Sunny brushed at his fingers with her own and he looked around. "I don't think this mission is going to be as straightforward as we might like."  
"Probably not, things don't tend to work out that smoothly. Not when you're involved anyway."  
"Hey…"  
"You do tend to over complicate things." She smiled at him.  
"Be that as it may... Whatever happens, I want you to know I meant what I said." Her smile turned into a confused frown. "I'm on your side, I am your friend, no matter what happens out here, or what I have to do."  
"Ocelot, you're scaring me."  
He looked down. "I'm sorry, but whenever Big Boss is involved in any way, I always seem to loose someone I care about. I don't want that to happen again."  
"You care about me?"  
"Of course I do. You think I went out of my way to save someone I didn't care about?"  
She shrugged. "I don't pretend to understand your reasons for doing anything. I just appreciated that you did it." She looked up, the smile back on her face. "But don't worry, I don't intend to go anywhere. I tried really hard not to like you, but I didn't manage to keep that up once I got to know you. So I guess we're stuck with each other."  
"I hope so..." he looked miserable and his eyes remained downcast. Sunny slipped out from under his arm and turned around, kneeling up beside him. Ocelot just looked up at her blankly. He jumped when she leant in and kissed his cheek before sitting back on her heels. Embarrassment writ large on her face as she avoided his eyes.  
"You stuck by me," she said softly. "So I'm with you on this. I know this is going to be hard on you, whatever happens, but I think you're making the right choice here, if I didn't think so I wouldn't have agreed to it."  
  
It was her turn to jump when he ran his knuckles over the back of her hand and when she met his gaze she found as strange sort of desperation there, his eyes flicking over her.  
"Ocelot?" She asked warily.  
"It's nothing."  
"You sure?"  
He took his hand away. "Before tonight, you and I hadn't been in contact since we got you out of that cell."  
"I..." Sunny blinked, stupefied. She bit her lip. "Oh Ocelot, I'm sorry, I sometimes forget that it's just you in here."  
He shrugged. "I don't really notice until you come back, then it can get a bit intense, I'll get over it."  
"You shouldn't have to!"  
He frowned. "Whether that's true or not, this is my life now, I have to get used to it."  
Sunny shifted closer again and wrapped her arms around his neck, he let her and gave her a loose one armed embrace as she squeezed him, just for a couple of seconds then released him. "I'm going to spend more time with you."  
"You already spend most of your time with me." He laughed.  
"Yeah, but here, were you can feel more human."  
Ocelot hesitated, mouth moving silently as he tried out some options then settled with: "Thank you, Sunny, I'd like that."  
Sunny knotted her hands on her lap and stared at them. "Man, can you imagine what Uncle Hal would think…"  
"He'd probably chase me out of the country."  
Sunny giggled.  
"It's getting late, you should go to bed."  
"Mn…"  
"Anyone this affectionate is probably very tired, and I saw you nodding off earlier. Go sleep, we have another long day tomorrow."  
  
\---  
  
The road was wide and well used, packed hard by passing vehicles and devoid of life. Occasionally pot holes dotted the dusty carriage-way, some deep others filled with gravel. Large claw marks tore up the edges of the road here and there; at least one REX passed this way on a fairly regular basis, but if it was in the area they never saw it. Mostly they saw supply trucks, if they saw anything at all, and buses of people who ignored them and kids who stared. Occasionally a patrol would appear around a corner and hail them, challenging them for identification. The land was beautiful if you ignored the battle scars. Though the few pedestrians they passed seemed weary and looked distrustfully at them. Most of these people had no interest in the combat and deals that worked on the boarders, they weren’t interested in welcoming another machine to gobble up their resources. Sunny felt guilty and couldn’t figure out why, Ocelot just stepped over them, otherwise ignoring them.  
  
On the third day through the territory they gave an excited couple of kids with arms full of bundles of cloth a lift back to town. Ocelot protested the entire way, but he seemed happy enough to secure them safely where they perched on his beak. They slid off safely on reaching their home. There Sunny got her first cooked non-ration meal since they’d left BBR and discovered a detour across country that would save them some time.  
  
Left to fend for himself for a couple of hours on the outskirts of town—where he was least likely to damage somebody’s property—Ocelot, ever the neutral party, made small talk with the locals and heard about dark clad soldiers who hid their faces behind masks, who'd been patronising another village not too far from here. They'd recently pulled out, but now the village was under siege from another group and everyone was too afraid to go near there. Ocelot listened to this with interest, while casually threatening to eat the kids who came over to stare at him. They didn’t take him seriously and pointed out that he was lying and laughed at him when he protested otherwise. By the time Sunny returned he was resigned to basking in the sun, the kids daring each other to keep their hands on his baking armour for as long as possible.  
  
There were only narrow tracks leading out of the far side of the village, and branches cracked and snapped across the Wildcat’s legs. Flocks of birds blossomed from the trees, startled by the trespasser crashing through their homes. Ocelot pointed out a Morpho butterfly as it glinted past the cameras and Sunny wondered aloud if they'd see more. She was told how MSF's helicopters had used the prefix MORPHO for quite a few years after the Peace Walker incident. Despite Big Boss' anger over the The Boss' second betrayal he'd still adopted the Peace Walker's insignia for his own fleet. As if he'd wanted a reminder of her.  
  
\---  
  
Sunny popped the canopy to enjoy an unfettered view of the San Salvador Volcano from across the city, its lower slopes hidden below a skirt of clouds, as the Wildcat trekked around the city’s north eastern boundaries. It had been a long slow walk ever since they’d come into more populated territory. Luckily Sunny had found the railway running alongside Las Cañas river, there was a lot of land either side that could take their passage, and after some radioing around they got permission to follow the railway lines. The GEKKO sharing their position were joined by a small group of El Salvador’s own, and they trailed along and scuttled under the Wildcat’s feet like chicks. Sunny tended to forget they were there but Ocelot had to resist the urge to flick them into the river as they got under his feet. It was otherwise easy going, they just had to make sure they headed away from the river before they plunged into the city and caused some real problems.  
  
Despite having to walk on eggshells the whole way, neither Sunny or Ocelot inclined to be mistaken for part of an invading force though the climate here had been cordial for some time now, the passage through El Salvador went smoothly until they had to cross the Lempa. They headed slightly upstream towards the San Lorenzo hydroelectric power plant, shedding their local GEKKOs as they approached, only to be met by a larger contingent to act as their escort.  
  
Sunny and Ocelot peered down at the wary faces of the men and women who’d come to meet them, the GEKKO had reappeared with the new humans and their vehicles, including two jeeps with antitank guns on the back. Ocelot thought they looked very hopeful, but Sunny was more nervous of them. What was more of a concern was the Red RAY that accompanied them. Apparently just being aware of the Wildcat’s presence was no longer enough, or maybe the GEKKO had packed more fire power than they’d anticipated. With the travelling Metal Gear passing so close to the power plant and dam, a RAY had been broken out to act as a guide and deterrent, in case the Wildcat decided that the dam was too tempting a target to simply leave intact.  
  
The ground troops split into two, one group heading up and over the dam while the usual traffic was stopped and held up, the others waited on the bank behind the Wildcat as they waded out into the shallows below the dam. They paused just off the bank, rushing water battering the Wildcat’s legs, the river was wide here, and Sunny was horribly aware of the pressing water above them, behind the wall. It didn’t matter that there was no reason to suspect the dam would give way, just knowing it was there made her nervous.  
_We should hurry, we’re holding up the traffic._  
Sunny glanced over and saw the RAY stride into the water beside them, despite being bipedal it seemed distinctly more at home in the muddy water than they did. The Wildcat took a step, the water tugged at its paws and they sloshed across the river. The RAY stalking along beside them, growling softly. They slipped up the bank, immediately Ocelot had to force back his urge to sprint across the flood land and up the bank on the far side, so they could get on with their mission without the overbearing escort breathing down their necks. Above them on the slopes their original GEKKO were crossing the dam in leaps and bounds. Behind them the vehicles that had been waiting for the Wildcat on the bank were speeding along the road. The Wildcat scrambled up the bank and turned to look back at the RAY, watching them from below.  
  
It was a freshly painted rich red, the badge of the Salvadorean army was painted on each of its ballast tanks and… Sunny blinked.  
“Ocelot?”  
_Hmn?_ The Wildcat was turning away.  
“That RAY was from BBR.”  
_Doesn’t surprise me, I think some of those GEKKOs were hired gear too. Where are we going?_  
“Um, oh, follow this road around to the… CA1E, sorry it should be a waypoint already.”  
_We didn’t mark beyond the power plant, in case we couldn’t cross. Do w_ _e have permission_ _to take this route_ _?_  
“Yeah, just so long as we try to keep off the actual road as much as possible. We can follow it down to Route 1, all the way to the boarder and across.”  
_Good. A main road to follow will make this a lot easier._  
Sunny poured over the maps as their escort rearranged itself back into the GEKKO, the RAY made its way back across the river and only a few of the vehicles came with them to make sure they didn’t turn back from their route.  
_Sunny, they’re hailing, they want_ _our_ _predicted rout_ _e_ _._ He stopped, the vehicles slowed and came to a stop nearby.  
“Um, tell them to give me a couple of minutes while I double check this. I think we can cut out across country here, north-east of El Limón?”  
_Is it actually quicker?_  
“I think so, we won’t have to go all the way around through the reserve, where we’d have to stick to the road.”  
_Alright then._  
“Sure?”  
_I’ll trust your decision._  
  
Sunny sent the reviewed route to the El Salvadorians, who didn’t seem to care much about where they went after the boarder crossing, then they were the Honduras' problem. The Wildcat stood up and headed towards the road.  
_We still have the best part of at least a day’s travel, possibly two depending on what speed I can maintain. Take what sleep you can._  
“What about you?”  
_I know where I’m going, if I get stuck, I’ll wake you._  
“Okay… Ocelot?”  
_Hmn?_  
“Why weren’t you surprised to see that RAY was from BBR? It could have been stolen?”  
Ocelot chuckled. _And not remove the insignia at least? Not likely. BRR are arms dealers, they can paint themselves as a research company if they like, flaunt their contracts with the US military, but they are what they are, and you can see it out here with their Metal Gear rented by the military and probably by PMCs too._  
“But...”  
_That’s probably the only reason we’ve been given such safe passage, BBR have a private mission to complete and their customers don’t want to alienate themselves from their supplier by attacking us._  
“Oh.”  
_Makes me wonder if they have their fingers in any other pies, or if its just Metal Gear they deal in. Sunny?_  
“Hmn?”  
_I’m sorry, I’ve upset you._  
“No, no nothing like that, I guess I just never thought about it. BBR are American, they work with the US military, I just, didn’t think they were dealing with other people like this. I know, I know it’s stupid, I should have, it’s not like they could run a business without it.”  
_It’s disheartening though isn’t it?_ _T_ _hinking someone was on your side, when they could be supplying a potential enemy. It’s not unique to BBR, or the US for that matter._  
“Yeah...”  
_But at least it means BBR have our backs out here?_  
Sunny smiled. “That’s true, yeah, we wouldn’t be as safe without that. I guess that’s why it’s been easy for us to get fuel too, but if BBR is supplying the fuel in the first place, that makes sense.”  
_See? So sleep soundly my dear, BBR have_ _us covered._ He chuckled.  
  
\---  
  
They followed the CA1E South East, it wasn’t a huge road, but it was steady and there was plenty of land either side that allowed the Wildcat to pick up its speed and keep it up for long stretches. The trip from here was eight hours or so by car, the Wildcat wouldn’t be able to make that time, but it was comforting knowing they were drawing closer now. Ocelot sent out warnings of their approach to larger towns and settlements in their path, they had no problems. Crossing the El Salvador-Honduras boarder ate up a couple of hours, but after that the routine they’d established since the hydroelectric plant continued, minus the El Salvadorean GEKKO. Delays were numerous, with the main roads they were following passing through towns and cities the Wildcat had to go around at a slower speed, but still the miles ticked down steadily and the lake grew closer.  
  
–-  
  
“I like it here.”  
"I always rather liked being away like this. For a day or two anyway. If it was dry. Warm."  
Sunny smiled at him from over the memory of a fire. “House cat.”  
"I’d like to see you spend a week outside in the mud, pissing it down and—"  
“I believe you!” she laughed.  
“You’re not getting tired of all this travel?”  
Sunny shook her head. “I did for a bit, now I guess I’m used to it. Hey, MSF were here right?”  
"Off the coast of Costa Rica."  
“Did you ever go there?”  
"Once or twice," he said off hand. "Might have even been in this part of the forest once, who knows."  
“With… him?”  
"Maybe… Why, are you envious?"  
She snorted. “Of a one-eyed old pirate? I get to deal with you every day anyway.”  
Ocelot laughed. "Well I meant were you envious of me, but if that’s your opinion of him I guess you wouldn’t be."  
“…”  
"Yeah he did look like a pirate didn’t he?"  
“What a pair.”  
"Huh?" He blinked at her, wide eyes startling in the firelight.  
"A Pirate and a Cowboy walk through the jungle…"  
"What's the punch line?"  
"You tell me."  
  
–-  
  
Away from civilization Sunny slept mostly soundly, and as the night grew late she crawled into the cockpit and flopped down into her seat. Ocelot watched her push the seat back as far as it would go and wrap herself up the blanket. A moment later her eyes were closed and she was sinking away from the nanolink. He turned his gaze outwards, aware and alert in the darkness.  
  
As the night drew on and Sunny fell into deeper sleep, the Wildcat's lamps flashed on and flooded the road. Two figures slunk out from behind their companion GEKKO, turning large amber eyes this way and that, their claws flashing in the moonlight where paint had chipped off on rocks. One nervously fingered the barrel of the rifle hung across his chest.  
  
Ocelot remained silent and still as one of the two approached him with a salute. The Wildcat's whiskers curled and the closest soldier took that as permission to speak.  
“Shalashaska, we are here on behalf of Ingwe of Otselotovaya Khvatka.” The soldier whispered. "We have a message to relay to you."  
  
Ingwe, he soon learnt, had been seeking audience with him at the now defunct complex. Her messengers told him that Otselotovaya Khvatka had been working in conjunction with Balam to boost their numbers in this area. It was this other PMC that had been to blame for what happened to Sunny, following their own initiative and trying to get more information from her, instead of trusting what information they had already been given. Ingwe had been an avid follower of his for many years—explained the masked soldier—she had been a child of Zanzibar Land, and had remained watchful for other survivors of the mercenary nation. She had been intrigued by his involvement in the mysterious technological downfall of over a decade ago. Inspired by his actions, she’d poured over every snippet of information she could get her hands on. Big Shell and the Tanker revealed fragments of their secrets, the previously unexplained explosion that had torn down a laboratory and the oddly lacerated corpses within started to make sense… War-zone after war-zone had revealed traces, never solid, never confirmed, but regular, familiar, of the same figure over and over. “The enigmatic Revolver Ocelot.” Ocelot sneered to himself, the Wildcat's face impassive. She’d traced him back to the 60’s, a drama in the theatre of the Cold War that nearly made things very hot indeed, there stories placed him as if he’d suddenly popped into existence, as if before then there was nothing. Then Otselotovaya Khvatka had caught up with her, and she had joined their ranks. It hadn't taken her long to raise to a high position within the group.  
  
“What does this have to do with me now?” Ocelot murmured, as softly as he could.  
“Ingwe’s knowledge of your history was instrumental in your Resurrection, sir. Which was not a mere whim or an accident. If you're willing to cooperate sir, you’ll see all we have done was in your favour, and we wish to make up for the wrongs perpetrated in our name.”  
“Give me a good reason to cooperate.” His whiskers coiled threateningly. Sunny mumbled and curled up tighter in her seat.  
“We know why you are here, sir, and we believe we can be of assistance.”  
  
Had Ocelot been restricted by the flaws of human nature he might have found sleep evasive that night. As it was he merely choose to watch the stars track across the sky. Sunny whined in her sleep and shrunk down deeper into the blanket with a frown. He turned his gaze to her for a minute as she calmed. Then he unfolded his solar panels in anticipation of the early morning sun and lowered his head to the earth and went into standby until dawn.  
  
When Sunny noticed how low the batteries were the next morning she was concerned, but he swore he’d simply been watching their surroundings during the night and had lost track of time. She wasn't really ready to believe that, he wasn't really capable of loosing track of time. As the batteries started to recharge as normal however she soon forgot about it and put it down to him simply wanting time to himself.  
  
“We still have a way to go.”  
_We’ve crossed all the boarders now though._  
“Do you think we’ll have any problems from here?”  
_I don’t know, I shouldn’t think so though, they’ve let us into the country, that’s the hard bit._  
“The GEKKO are still following us,” Sunny grumbled. “I was hoping they’d go back.”  
_I thought you’d prefer to have me under extra surveillance?_  
“I don’t like being spied on.”  
_Won’t be long until we’re done and they’ll leave us alone._  
"Yeah. Are you going to be okay?"  
_Of course, it’s all under control._


	35. The Best is Yet to Come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays to you all!

_"And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you."_

–  
Kiersten White, The Chaos of Stars

 

They drew close enough to lake Nicaragua that as evening rolled in they determined not to stop. Ocelot’s nervous excitement was contagious and Sunny fidgeted in her seat, they switched control rapidly, until the edges of who was taking control and when started to blur. When they came out on an old beaten track more than wide enough for the Wildcat to pass without hindrance, Sunny was on the edge of her seat, and didn’t hold him back. She felt the long neck arch and the claws digging in to the hard ground, the build up of pressure in the long powerful legs before they sprung forward and broke into a gallop. A handful of young innocent trees were felled in their passing, bent and snapped or torn up when the Wildcat's paws dug up clods of earth. When a steep incline suddenly rose out of the scarred woodland in front of them Sunny cried out in warning, but Ocelot seemed to recognise it and with a victorious crow, took the slope without hesitation, throwing all their momentum into it. Finding footholds already pushed deep into the earth, long eroded but holding firm as his claws reopened the old path up the rise.  
  
They paused for a moment at the top of the ridge. Sunny panting at the work they'd put into scrambling up the steep slope that now dropped away behind them, just begging for them to trip and fall back down. The forest stretched out ahead of them, the wide river blocking their path.  
  
“Can we make it?”  
  
Her answer was the sound of the engine cutting out, the shields clanging shut and the Wildcat pitching over the edge. With a tumbling of rocks and earth they half ran half slid down the hill to the water. Could they make it? Ocelot certainly seemed to think so. Brown water sloshed up over his chest and a bow wave formed across the front of his neck. Steam rose from the still hot engine cowling and exhaust ducts, puffing up on either side in dwindling clouds. At the deepest point the Wildcat's front paws couldn't touch the river bed without risking the cockpit, and they stumbled along awkwardly on just the Wildcat's back legs, battered by the current, buoyed up by the water.  
  
Sunny fixated on the far bank, willing them safely across, holding her breath until her lungs ached, more afraid now than she’d been of the Lempa. Ocelot didn’t say a word until they dragged themselves up onto solid ground, where the Wildcat shook off a layer of mud and weed. The shields opened and the engines reignited as they squelched through the trail of water left behind them and struck out into the jungle.  
  
_I knew we’d make it._  
  
They followed an old path, beaten down through the forest by something as large as them. The long-rotten corpses of toppled trees lay under a mat of fresh growth, and the Wildcat carefully picked up its feet, in case one of the wet logs was firmer than expected.  
“What made this path? It’s so old, but it doesn't look like—”  
_She did. The Peace Walker. We've managed to get onto the path she took._  
  
The Wildcat stepped over the remains of a crumbling wall and torn up razor wire that snarled around its legs only to pull tight and snap with a twang. They clattered to a halt on an expanse of concrete big enough to hold a Metal Gear in comfort. To the right, Lake Nicaragua glittered in the dark. Spindly cranes leant over it, reaching towards the far distant shore, where lights twinkled. To the left were the immense buildings, sagging in on themselves as they slowly collapsed. In the distance the damage done to them was far worse, and only skeletal frames remained reaching for the sky. Metal walls and roofs ticked away the seconds as they cooled. It would have seemed like just another old and abandoned site, if not for the state of the docks.  
  
The concrete was shattered and torn, Sunny only had to take a glance to recognize the scraping footfalls of a Metal Gear—nothing else made marks like that. Whatever it had been, it had been a very different beast to the Wildcat; its footsteps were rectangular and hard edged, it was hard to tell if she was looking at the marks of a bipedal or a quadrupedal machine. Areas of the concrete were still burnt sooty black, looking like deep pits in the low light levels. There were actual holes too, deep and perfectly round, they spotted the ground like the work of some monstrous beetle. Some of the holes were filled with water, others gaped horribly at them in the night, big enough to swallow an adult human. They made Sunny's stomach knot uncomfortably. The only sign that this place had recently been inhabited were patches of newer concrete where some of the damage had been repaired, the remains of a fence that had cordoned off the damaged section and an area of small cheaply built buildings close to the waterfront. The Wildcat’s floodlights swept over the area revealing more and more, but outside of the pools of light the docks were shrouded in mystery and darkness, seen only in short moments of narrow illumination.  
  
The Wildcat walked along the oily water's edge, scanning for signs of life or points of interest. When it was able to take a step back, it stopped in its tracks and turned to look out over the damage to the docks. Sunny popped the canopy and stood up to see the destruction with her own eyes and escape the confines of the cockpit. The air was cool and smelled of detritus from the lake.  
“Did the Peace Walker do this?”  
_Big Boss and Peace Walker did this._  
"Wow."  
  
Sunny set up camp between the lake and the curve of the Wildcat's body; which made a good windbreak. The Metal Gear's lights shone across the water, dazzling off the waves and making her fancy, when she stared into the water, that something was under there, staring back. Growing uncomfortable, she finished her dinner, buried herself in her sleeping bag and closed her eyes, trusting Ocelot to keep watch.  
  
\---  
  
Sunny dozed, slipping in and out of sleep. Her back pressed up against the nearest missile silo which still retained some heat from the day. She woke fully from her fitful sleep with a start, the last dregs of a nightmare full of shadowy figures and distorted faces, becoming hazy the moment she opened her eyes. She gulped down air trying to calm herself, thinking that the dream had awoken her, until she toppled over onto the ground, the arm she’d been leant on removed from behind her. She rubbed her bruised head and looked up at the belly of the Wildcat as it stepped over her. Sunny wriggled back into her sleeping bag, listening to the footsteps as they grew farther away. Suddenly she heard him break into a run. Sunny's eyes snapped back open and she jumped up to go after him or see what the threat was. Instead of an imminent attack or fleeing spies, she saw silhouetted by the setting moon an ominous form unfolding from the darkness.  
  
Young trees and opportunistic plants grew along its back, breaking up its shape and camouflaging it against the jungle, but as the intense light of Ocelot’s gaze washed over it the coppery skin of its joints and the dusty blue-black of its armour became apparent. Crippled limbs blurred the lines between rubble and machine. Shards of razor sharp metal and composite clattered and scraped against the Wildcat's armour as it stepped in among the broken parts. Sunny picked her way across the uneven ground, slowly catching up and hoping she didn't cut herself of the twisted metal.  
  
She could see the steel fangs in the Wildcat's slack jaws. Ocelot didn’t appear to care that his whiskers had uncurled and hung limply and forgotten, or maybe—knowing how variable his use of the manipulator arms was—Ocelot's avatar stood with his arms equally limp at his sides as he gazed out through the eyes of his chassis. She watched as the Wildcat raised a paw in silence and drew it down one of the downed machine’s shattered ballast tanks. Growling softly to itself when the limited sense of touch told it nothing. The Wildcat stepped under the tank and bow plane, making its way forward. Illuminating scars and dents and gashes in the Arsenal Gear. Disturbed creatures ran from the light, and moss and climbing plants were torn free when the Wildcat rubbed its claws across the hide of the beached Kraken. Sunny squinted, making out distorted lettering on the hull. Benedict Business Research, VIC MODEL. The serial number was scratched up beyond recognition.  
  
_VIC?_  
"I think that's what they called it."  
_Vic Boss. Huh, someone knew their history. The Metal Gear back at base don't have names._  
"Arsenal Gear are treated like boats, it's supposed to be bad luck not to name a boat right?"  
_Allegedly._  
"Don't believe in luck?"  
_There's no such thing as luck on the battlefield._  
"Yeah me neither."  
  
Despite the corpse towering over the Wildcat, Sunny failed to appreciate the enormity of the size difference until the smaller Metal Gear stood up with its arms braced on one buckled limb and turned its gaze onto the head of the beast. The King Ray’s head was as large as the Wildcat’s body, with a RAY’s signature triple split jaws, that in this case sagged open over the dark water. Jaws that were large enough to crush a smaller combat Metal Gear like the Wildcat in a moment. Old broken cutting teeth lined its jaws and at the back of its throat the convergent nozzle of the water cutter. Water weed like a tangled beard betrayed the fluctuating water levels that sometimes immersed the King Ray’s chin. Rust and mineral deposits ran from broken lights like bloody tears. Birds had nested in the vents on its jaws at some time and they were filled with sticks, debris and streaked with generations of guano.  
  
Small by Arsenal Gear standards, giant in comparison to the Metal Gear, the King Ray dwarfed the Wildcat as it lay rotting. Tail ripped off, corrosion claiming its back legs, time and nature was breaking it up, but it was still an impressive monster. Sunny could feel Ocelot’s awe as keenly as she’d previously felt his excitement, and his fear and dismay. Afraid to draw closer when he turned his gaze on her and placed himself between the huge machine and the young woman, Sunny withdrew to the camp and let him be. The Wildcat had not returned before she fell back to sleep. When the shining sun rose and bounced off the waves, blinding her through her eyelids, she saw his translucent projection sitting on the edge of the man-made bank. She crawled out of her sleeping bag and moved to sit beside him, feet dangling over the dark water and foam. He said nothing, but his gaze was fixed on the sunrise, and she had no reason to believe his real body wasn’t in the same position. She turned to watch the white sun climb into the sky. Neither turned to see at the damaged King Ray in the light of day.  
  
Ocelot finally turned to look at her, his movement grabbing her attention. Sunny looked around at his uncomfortable expression. His brows were knotted, even the tension in his mouth could be seen behind his ruffled moustache. She didn’t think she’d seen him look so dishevelled before—his appearance only an echo of his mental state.  
“Are you okay with this?”  
_I have to be._  
“You don’t. We could leave.”  
_No. I told you. I’m going to destroy Big Boss._ He turned and over his shoulder Sunny saw the Wildcat stand and take a step back from the King Ray to look at it better. _I don't like to leave a job unfinished._ He turned to look back at her. _Thank you for bringing me here._  
  
Sunny started to stand, ready to join the Wildcat in the destruction of the King Ray’s computers, but as she did so the Metal Gear climbed around in front of its larger cousin, slipped under its chin and vanished out the other side. Not thinking much of it she approached, now able to clearly see the potholes and pits in the ground. “Hey! You could at least pick me up.” She grumbled, setting off on a walk the length of a football pitch or more.  
  
Ocelot looked up and along the jaw line of the King Ray, whiskers probing experimentally for something his gut, had he had one, told him was there. He could feel Sunny getting closer and had to find it soon… Soon one claw slid into a groove, he pulled the build up of dirt, rain carried dust and moss away and reared up. He braced himself against the neck of the King Ray and scraped the rest of the caked on dirt away. There was a small hole deep under the curve of the jaw and with a bit of work he managed to get one manipulator claw into the hole and found a sealed nodule which depressed under the pressure of his claw. Sunny had told him about this, most modern Metal Gear had it, and it was fitted standard on the new Wildcat models, but he'd never had a reason to use it. The panel shifted, but it took a bit of extra work to get it to open without power. He tilted his head this way and that getting a better look at the connectors. They were familiar, they’d not been changed since the King Ray’s construction and he could use them. A second set of manipulator arms with retractable tips snaked towards the connectors. In theory he knew what he was doing, but he’d never actually done it before, and wasn’t sure it would work with the King Ray shut down. Even if it did work he trusted that Sunny was telling the truth as far as she knew it, this Arsenal Gear was probably unhinged, but he had to see for himself. He had to know.  
  
He steeled himself and made the connection. Clamps made to dock other sea-faring Metal Gear to the King Ray snapped out of the connection panel and, without grooves to fold into, crushed down on the Wildcat’s whiskers. He cried out in surprise and discomfort and in the corner of one camera saw Sunny run out from under the King Ray’s jaw. His solar panels spread out and he turned his thoughts to the King Ray. He could hear Sunny calling to him, but he ignored her, shut her out and routed power to the other machine.  
  
Her mental assault was stronger than he anticipated and it took a lot of effort to keep her out, he shut down his microphones when she called out aloud and hoped she was too confused or too reluctant to forcibly take control of him. He felt something, a spark of energy, and focused on it, felt the surge of power being taken from him as the older computers struggled to come online. He looked quickly for the core controls, but didn't have Sunny's skills and groped blindly and uselessly in the darkness.  
  
The strain of pushing Sunny away while simultaneously struggling to reach the King Ray suddenly gave away and it felt like he’d toppled forwards. Ocelot raised a claw to catch himself against the King Ray and felt course powdery earth under his hand… His fingers… He opened his eyes.  
  
\---  
  
The world was painted in daubs of charcoal soot, ochre and ancient firebrick. The world crackled dryly, fury parched the air and filled Ocelot's imaginary lungs until he choked back the desire to cough. He slowly got to his feet, looking around cautiously. This wasn't right, was it? This world was twisted, but it felt stable, whatever was inside the King Ray wasn't as broken as its outsides implied.  
  
He’d not expected this, to get drawn so easily into the King Ray’s psyche, but here he was, and so was Big Boss he presumed—or some form of Big Boss. Something had generated this jungle of dead and burnt trees, black spires poking holes into the scorched sky. The soot coloured trunks were veined with embers and brittle black grass broke around his ankles. The razed jungle was dense and tangled with skeletal plants, fallen branches and sharp fragments of bark. The sky above was off colour, yellow and grey, the sun watery through the clouds of ash and smoke but leaving the land parched. Ocelot stared around, unable to push down the feeling that he was being watched, he looked for spying eyes behind every burnt up tree. He forced himself to stop, take a breath and remain calm and keep his thoughts straight from the ones battering him from outside—Sunny trying to pull him back to her, and the all pervasive sense of paranoia, rage and agony that saturated the air. It took a lot of effort to generate other 'living' beings in VR, scenery was one thing, but people and animals that could move and interact with the word was another entirely. He strongly doubted there was any real risk to him sneaking through the trees. Ocelot brushed dirt and ash from his hands as he looked around, what did concern him though was the heat, the very sense and implication of fire, could that be a real threat here? Was this place inclined to reignite? In fact, it hadn’t occurred to him before now that one MB-AI’s virtual reality would be different from another’s. His own ‘world’ was empty and sterile, waiting to be filled in with a story of his own conscious creation, and it seemed so unimaginative in comparison to this. Was the King Ray generating this automatically? It was quite beautiful, in a macabre way. Ocelot shivered, and the world vanished for a moment behind cloud of pixels, when they settled the years had been singed away. Ocelot rubbed the back of his thumb over his barely-a-moustache and tugged at the old moth eaten scarf around his neck, making space for the illusion of air. If John was in here, he would want a familiar face.  
  
He struck out into the foliage, ears straining for the tiniest noise, eyes darting this way and that, plagued by memories of similar hunts that had always proved fruitless. Part of him hoped to not find Big Boss at all, or not to have Big Boss find him. His mind wandered back in time to his last audience with the man in Zanzibar Land, the old man fruitlessly spending his days at the target range, pulling away from Ocelot's tired arms and trying to find solace in his firearms instead. Ocelot could still remember the bruises under his eyes, the strong fingers running through his white hair. They'd shaken hands before Ocelot had left. They had let go reluctantly.  
"Just come with me."  
  
Ocelot headed downhill, trying to anticipate the old soldier's behaviour. Remembering what he'd said to Sunny with dread: _In the end I didn't even know him_. He shook himself and kicked up fallen leaves. So far this world, this memory or construct, seemed to obey the laws of nature, if there was a river to be found it would be downhill, the most likely place to find Big Boss. The canopy rose higher as he headed downwards, the trees pressing for more light in the valley, the ground more and more tangled with low level plants that snagged on his clothes with long hard thorns. He followed animal tracks that were strangely clean and devoid of life, towards the unseen river that he hoped to find.  
  
And find it he did. It was a twisting winding thing ducking under fallen logs and low hanging plant growth. Even here the plants were dry and brittle. The river was clogged with ash and as Ocelot stood staring at it bile started to rise in his gullet. Every fibre of his body told him to head back, to run back to Sunny. It would be so easy to lie. He’s dead. He’s dead there’s nothing in there. No AI any more. No life. Nothing worth saving.  
  
This whole place was ravaged by anger, whatever had been in here and had been cut off from the outside world for years. Even if Big Boss was in here, who's to say he was any more than a raving lunatic, deprived of his senses and bathed in fire. So why was he still here? Ocelot jumped the stream and tore through the undergrowth, hit a pathway lined with wooden sleepers and sprinted upstream. Desperate to prove himself wrong, to find his answers, to get his closure. There was another pressure now, something pulling him back. He shrugged it off, hard, and felt Sunny let go.  
"Not now... I'll come back, but not now."  
  
He could see the trees thinning ahead of him, but before Ocelot could see the source of the ash something hit him in the back. It caught him across the lower half of his spine and knocked the wind out of him. He hit the ground ungracefully and rolled sideways with a wheeze to avoid whatever had hit him. A knife stabbed into the ground beside his head, sinking into the earth up to the hilt. Ocelot looked up at the figure holding it and gave an involuntary cry of fear. Scrabbling to get out from under the apparition that grimaced down at him from out of a mutilated face.  
  
The man was clothed in what might have been a green uniform at some time, but now it was charred and torn almost beyond recognition. The sleeves stripped off to reveal the knotted scarred arms scorched right down through red and black burnt skin. The remains of a shirt sticking to it, pulling wet weeping flesh painfully taut. Ocelot lashed out with his heel and the knife skittered away along the path. Clawed hands snatched at Ocelot. One grabbed his arm and pulled him back through the leaf litter, the other closed with an iron grip about his throat. It was hot and Ocelot struggled to pull it off with his free hand as it started to burn him.  
A prosthetic?  
"V-venom?" he croaked in dismay. He kicked upwards and threw his attacker off balance, kicked again and pushed him up and over his head, risking having his throat torn out to be free, telling himself over and over that this wasn't real. It was all in his head. In the King Ray's head…  
  
He jumped to his feet and backed away, getting a better look at the snarling face of his opponent. It was the least burnt part of the creature, and yet one of the most terrible aspects. One blood shot blue eye stared at him through a scum of soot and ash and sweaty tangled hair, scars twisting the flesh around it. The other eye was missing, nothing but a hollow space in the skull, the nose between the two horrible eyes was broken. Nicotine stained teeth were bared at him in a wild snarl, a curved horn, shiny as obsidian jutted up from his forehead. It wasn't like the shrapnel that had been lodged in Big Boss' doppelgänger’s skull though. It was an odd parody, and the arm that Ocelot had thought was prosthetic looked like a real human arm, but seemed to be metallic. Ocelot's frown deepened. No this wasn't Venom Snake, he'd know John from Ahab anywhere, anyhow. Something of the Other Big Boss had survived in here however, confusing the AI's identity, muddying the waters.  
  
“Boss…?”  
  
The creature that had been Big Boss threw back its head and screamed in rage and agony, struggled to its bare and bleeding feet and charged. Ocelot jumped aside, felt the back of his jacket get grabbed and slipped out of it. Leaving it to be tossed aside by the beaten hands of his opponent. Ocelot choked on the smell of burning flesh, no, not smell, there was no smell, nor taste. This was knowledge, the knowledge of burning flesh. He gagged and ran for it. Deceptively quiet footfalls behind him telling him that the other AI was on his tail.  
  
The trees gave way unexpectedly and he lurched out of the forest and over a ledge. Tripping over his own feet and rolling down to the muddy beach on a bend in the river the stream must feed. He staggered to his feet and gave Big Boss time to catch up. With a roar he leapt for Ocelot, who spun around instinctively. The heel of his boot catching Big Boss in the jaw and sending him flying sideways. Ocelot didn’t give him a chance to recover. He flew at him and slammed three quick well aimed punches into the flesh just under his ribs and while he was gasping for breath, stunned him with a crack of his elbow to his head and flipped him over, dragging him into a restrictive hold. Big Boss writhed and tried to free himself. Ocelot realised bitterly that moulding his appearance in an attempt at appearing friendlier had already failed, Big Boss hadn't even begun to recognise him. He held him there tightly until the thrashing slowed and then stopped. Replaced by pained keening noises and the hissing of breath into scorched lungs.  
  
“Boss? Big Boss?” Ocelot’s voice seemed to remind Big Boss that he wasn’t alone and he tossed his head backwards, catching Ocelot a glancing blow but not enough to dislodge him. Ocelot tightened his grip as Big Boss convulsed in his arms, trying to free himself, blindly and without any of his past life's self control. Ocelot was glad, Big Boss had never had trouble freeing himself from one of his grips before.  
“Snake?” He tried. The man snarled and tried to bite Ocelot’s arm around his throat.  
“John!?” He was forced to loosen his grip again when Big Boss started to choke, and felt teeth sink into his arm. He ignored it, the damage would be gone soon enough, he didn’t think any permanent damage could be done to him here, but we worried about Big Boss, who probably had no idea where he was, or who he was, or how the world they existed within worked.  
“JACK!”  
  
The forest was silent.  
Big Boss lay panting, his breath hot through Ocelot’s shirt. His muscles twitching erratically, causing him to flinch and kick. Slowly he raised his head, weaving it this way and that like a drugged man trying to get his world into focus.  
“Call me…”  
“It’s me.”  
“Call me… Boss… Big Boss…”  
“It’s me, Ocelot.”  
“My name is…”  
“It’s your friend.”  
“…not… Ssssnake…”  
“It’s me.”  
“I am not a snake…”  
“It’s Adamska. It's ADAM... Please remember me.”  
  
Big Boss twisted his head around as far as it would go.  
“A-adam? Nooo…” he groaned. “Not again. Why? Why do you do this to me?”  
“What do I do?” Ocelot considered letting him go, but decided against it. He managed to reposition his arm to better get a grip around Big Boss' neck, out of reach of his teeth.  
“You keep showing up… you keep appearing… I can’t keep… I can’t…” he sobbed. “It hurts, please stop, Adam.”  
He released his grip and Big Boss slumped aside and curled up shivering, smearing mud and algae from the river over his already mucky skin.  
“Did I hurt your throat?”  
“It burns,” he sobbed, hands clawing, teeth bared. “Please, stop.”  
“It’s not me, Boss...”  
“Stop!!” he screamed, arching his back with renewed vigour, clawing at the ground, trying to drag himself towards the river. Ocelot watched in horror as the other man’s skin seemed to blister, peel and pop as if he was burning before his eyes. Again.  
  
“Oh no they… they couldn’t have…” he whispered. “No wonder you attacked them…” he stooped and careless of the flesh slewing from Big Boss' body pulled the writhing man over his shoulders and turned towards the river. It seemed farther away now, an eternity away, a hard walk over the slick greasy mud, but he didn’t stop to think about it. Slipping and sliding his way down and into the water, until he was knee deep, he dropped Big Boss and himself along with him. The cold water surged up towards his neck and soaked his clothes, the current tugging at him. He pulled Big Boss upwards to keep his mouth and nose clear of the water and wrapped his arms about him to stop him floating away in the current. Big Boss whined and whimpered, tears streaking from his good eye as the cold water put out the unseen fires and pulled at his flesh. Ocelot tilted his head back away from the non-smell, the concept, it was starting to make him gag again, he stared upwards. The fierce sun had been obscured by clouds. He blinked, reached out and gently pushed the battered mind-world in the right direction. It started to rain. The rage thick in the air started to wash way, the river ran clearer of ash.  
  
Ocelot started to wonder how much time had passed. It seemed like hours, the King Ray’s internal clock ticked onward and night was falling, but he knew it wasn’t correct. He suspected that Sunny had only just realised he wasn’t able to hear her. Or maybe she’d already stormed off back to their little camp. Was she very angry? He smiled weakly. Of course she was. She was going to kill him for this, possibly very literally, but she hadn't pulled the plug yet, and she could have. He shifted his grip and Big Boss shivered and raised his head to look back at him. Soaked hair matted over his forehead and he squinted past it. The glassy horn was gone. Mostly. It glistened like a ghost as Big Boss struggled to remember who he was. Under the water his fingers were knotted into Ocelot's thigh.  
  
“You’re still here?” He rattled.  
"I’m not going anywhere.”  
“All the others left...”  
“There were other people here?” Ocelot asked in surprise.  
“No, yes, sometimes… Sometimes it was just you. But you always left.”  
Memories, Ocelot thought, he’d been accessing memory files without realising it.  
“Well I’m here for good now.”  
“For… Good? I... I trust you... I was…” he raised a hand, bruised, smeared with mud from the river bed, but not burnt. He wiped the rain from his face and it washed the soot clear. “I was hurt…?”  
“Badly, yes.”  
“But now I’m not?”  
“No. It’s a long story, and I’ll tell you it. But no, now you’re not hurt, and I think you're going to be okay.” New memories, Ocelot thought to himself, I can't leave until I can be sure he has new memories, something new to hold on to. Big Boss started to relax his grip on him, they floated together, around them the forest continued to burn in the rain.  
  
“It hurt so much.”  
“I know.”  
“Didn't expect you to show up to bail me out,” he laughed weakly. “Still full of surprises, even after all these years?”  
“More years and more surprises than you know.”  
Big Boss let his heavy head sag back against Ocelot’s shoulder. “I’ve… missed something haven’t I?”  
“Yes.”  
“What’s happened?”  
“I’ll tell you soon enough. Just rest now. I won’t let you go.”  
“I knew you’d come… eventually. Just have to wait, you always show up… Just wasn’t sure… Whose side you’d be on…”  
“I’m always on your side, John. I’m here to help.”  
“Help…?”  
“You helped me, when you were strong, now I have to repay the favour. Nothing changes just because you need help, you’re still you.”  
Big Boss tilted his head and looked up, eye unfocused and gaze distant.  
“I’m sorry I didn’t understand that sooner, maybe if I had I could have saved you this pain.”  
  
The fires dwindled, died, only a few embers glowed deep in hollows left untouched by the rain. Ocelot helped Big Boss to his feet and they waded out to land. They’d barely reached the bank when Big Boss toppled onto a patch of dead moss and lay still, blinking quietly and sleeplessly out at the falling darkness as light drizzle continued to cool the skin of his face. Ocelot sat up beside him, a hand on his elbow, listening to the unseen night creatures that populated Big Boss’ memories. His own rage cooled by the rain, replaced by a familiar ache. He remained vigilant until Big Boss fell asleep and the connection was broken.

 


	36. Between Worlds

" _The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies._ "

 

Sunny stopped screaming. Not at at the point where forcing her way into the Wildcat's processes became risky and she'd been forced to give up, but when she saw the first stone by her foot and threw it at the Wildcat's head. It didn't reach but she didn't care. She snatched up anything from tiny pebbles to blocks of old concrete to lob in the Wildcat's direction. They rattled and thunked off the armour and piled up in crevices but she just kept throwing them until her fingers were scraped raw and she'd run out of ammunition.  
  
Sunny stalked away from the two machines, kicking debris into the lake and berating herself, Ocelot and anyone else she could think of to pin the blame on.  
"Idiot. Idiot!" She paused to yell back at him. "You're going to kill yourself! Run out of power! See if I care! I'll walk back!" She glared around for the GEKKO, but they were gone, already headed back to the base? For a long while Sunny remained quiet, then she cursed, and the loudness of her voice made her jump. With the silence broken, her energy was renewed and she retraced her steps and faced the King Ray. The King Ray was hard not to face as it was so large, but she made a point to inspect it in all its crumbling glory. Its stumpy forelimbs, crooked from the weight that had come down on them when the machine had come to rest, were jutting out towards her almost comically, like an overweight salamander that had fallen and now lay pathetically in the mud. Sunny strode up to the claws.  
"I hate you." She growled.  
  
"I hate you. I hate you so much." She kicked the claws and stomped off under the cliff of its chest and through the cave built by its thick neck and the concrete docks. "He was doing so god damn well and then you had to show your face again!" She glared up at the Wildcat, leant into the crook of the Arsenal Gear's jaw. The strong manipulator arms snaking between them the only thing keeping the King Ray supplied with power. She was aware that the King Ray as an amphibious model had seals that would clamp down on any connectors unless they were specifically switched off in the cockpit. Even if she could get up there to the Wildcat's cockpit, there was simply no way to disconnect the Wildcat without releasing those seals. She had no idea if that was possible from the Wildcat and since she certainly couldn't get to the King Ray's cockpit, and wasn't particularly inclined to with its history, the seals were only going to let go if the two Metal Gear went through the disconnection sequence themselves.  
  
The world was quiet, only the mixed sounds of birds overhead and in the jungle broke through the sounds of the two machines' inner workings. The Wildcat running smooth as silk, the King Ray sounding more like a distressed tumble drier. Sunny remembered the reactor, deep in the belly of the machine. When they'd approached before the Wildcat hadn't picked up on any unhealthy readings, but now that the King Ray had power... She wasn't sure what that might mean for the King Ray's own power source, and she slunk away back towards the camp. At least she'd had the foresight to take some of her rations out of the cockpit the night before.  
  
Sunny sunk into activity limbo. As the Wildcat had done a good job of shutting her out, and forcing her way in now could cause damage, her only option was to wait and see what was going to happen. The King Ray was inoperable, from a physical point of view, and she wondered it was even capable of drawing from its own power source. Ocelot would have to give up eventually or he'd run out of power himself. It would only be when he disconnected and came back from... Where ever he currently was inside that monstrous machine... That she would be able to make plans. Of course, the plan was, would have to be, that she would immediately take full control of the Wildcat before she was left stranded out here. Then Ocelot would have a choice. Either they destroyed the AI and went home like nothing had happened and he moved on with his life without the shadow of Big Boss hovering over him. Or she reported in what had happened, destroyed the AI and took him home and handed him over. Somehow she doubted either option was going to strike him as preferable.  
  
She hugged her knees and lay her head sideways on them to look back at the machines. If the Wildcat put up enough of a fight she might find she was in for a long walk back to the border.  
"I really don't want to have to explain why I had to leave you here... With Otselotovaya Khvatka nearby." That was something at least, she'd expected to have had them approach them by now, but they'd not shown their faces at all.  
  
\---  
  
The Wildcat tried to step back from the King Ray and sighed when the seals that had crushed down on his whiskers didn't let go. He hadn't wanted to leave yet, and without warning Snake or anything... But it wasn't Sunny that had managed to break the connection as he'd initially guessed, he was just low on power.  
_Wow, hungry weren't you? Who am I kidding, you're always hungry, why did I think a change of body would change that?  
_ He shuffled around to get the sunlight back on his solar panels. He didn't need a lot, just enough to get in, release the locks and then he could get down from here. No doubt Sunny would want answers. Or blood. Damn if she didn't deserve both at this point.  
He cringed.  
Ocelot locked his joints to stay in position and went into standby, no point in wasting energy.  
  
He stirred again an hour later, power levels high enough to do what he needed and quickly looked for how to disconnect from the King Ray. It wasn't hard, through it probably would have been a lot easier if he'd had Sunny to tell him what to look for. The clamps released the manipulator arms and the Wildcat dropped back down on to all fours and returned to the campsite and Sunny's signal. She was sitting on her sleeping bag with her head down. The link was quiet, she was sleep.  
  
The Wildcat's approach disturbed Sunny from her doze and she raised her head to watch him come closer. He was giving off a distinct sense of humility but it felt like a thin veneer over something else. She stood up to meet him and a moment later he was standing before her.  
_Sunn—_  
"Shut down.”  
The command shot through his head in a way he was unaccustomed to, and before he could process that that was because it was an order he'd already followed her instruction.  
Sunny glared up at the Wildcat as its head lowered for access and it fell silent and dark, then dropped her gaze to look at the King Ray from between the Metal Gear's long legs. They had to talk, it was important that they talked, but the moment she'd heard his voice she knew she wasn't ready for it, besides, he had to be depending on his engines now and that was just a waste of fuel. She'd leave him for a while to recharge, and so she could cool down, if that was possible.  
  
A few hours later Sunny awoke, confused and disorientated and sat up. She saw the Wildcat in its shutdown state and remembered.  
"Oh yeah. Wildcat, start up."  
There was a pause then the long snarling head raised up rapidly and its engine spun up.  
_Nearly_ _four_ _hours? Really?_ Ocelot shimmered into existence in front of her. It was definitely Ocelot, but he was younger, dustier.  
"I needed time to think," she snapped. "Do you have any idea how I've been feeling out here?"  
_Betrayed and stressed?_  
She clenched her teeth.  
_I understand how this must look from the outside, please, let me tell you what I found._  
"I'm more interested in why you went looking than what you found!"  
_I'll tell you both._  
"Go on then, I'm listening."  
_Are you sure you've calmed down?_  
"No Ocelot, I'm not calm, I'm waiting."  
He sighed. _I investigated because I wanted to know what I was dealing with, and because, if he was in there, I wanted answers. Besides, whatever happened between us, whatever my opinion on it now, we were friends. He deserves better than being snuffed out in his 'sleep' without any idea of who was coming for him.  
_ "How thoughtful of you. And, did you get your 'answers'?"  
  
Ocelot's projection turned away from her becoming increasingly fuzzy around the edges.  
_Sunny, they've done something terrible to him._ He dragged a hand over his face wearily. _Every time I catch up with him he's been hurt, and he always finds a way to horrify me with his wounds.  
_ "What's happened?"  
_Has there ever been an MB-AI... hybrid?_  
"Hybrid?"  
_As in, one made out of more than one person's memories?  
_ "Not that I'm aware of, I don't think it would work. I mean they had a hard enough time making MB-AI's work with only one person involved, I would have thought trying to get one AI to accept two sets of memories would be unreasonably complex for no real benefit. I suppose if you could make it work if you could hault the process that derived a personality from those memories, then you could chose the best of multiple people… But it's never been done as far as I'm aware. Why?"  
_It's John in there, I'm sure of that, but he's showing fragments of Venom too._  
"Venom?"  
Ocelot held up his hand, four fingers and thumb stretched out. _Venom, V, the fifth Snake._  
"There was another clone?"  
_No, not in body. He was hypnotised to believe he was Big Boss in order to act AS Big Boss while the other went to South Africa, stayed hidden and—  
“_ Started Outer Heaven?"  
_Exactly. Venom eventually remembered who he was, he took over Outer Heaven and merged Diamond Dogs with it, then the first Big Boss went to FoxHound. To most people Venom and Big Boss were totally separate people, but as far as Big Boss was concerned, they were both Big Boss, part of the same person. I suspect you're right, no one would bother with a hybrid AI, at least not on purpose. I am concerned however that he doesn't seem to know that he and Venom weren't one and the same, if the memory banks weren't a combination then he's more confused than I thought.  
_ "Sounds healthy," Sunny said dryly.  
  
"So he's conscious?"  
_Yes. But he has no idea of what he is._ A look of distress passed over Ocelot's face. _He was reliving a memory when I got there, I think that's all he's been doing._  
Sunny shook her head. "Then he's not awake, he's just doing what any MB-AI should be doing. That doesn't explain how he got out here then."  
_No, he was awake! It was like..._ He looked around, seeking out the words. _Like somnambulism? Part of him was awake and moving around, but his memories were overla_ _i_ _d with his own virtual reality. He was..._ He choked. _He was in a lot of pain when I got there, and probably fighting someone in part of his reality. He attacked me_. Ocelot tugged at his scarf awkwardly and for the first time Sunny noticed the red blisters around his throat.  
"Wait? You're hurt? He did that?" She reached for him, but of course her hand passed right through him. “That can happen?”  
_Yeah, but it's okay, pretty sure it's only still_ _manifesting because it_ _shock_ _ed me_ _. Sunny... You can't blame him for what he did when he first woke up. I don't know what memories he was reliving at that time, but he has very few happy ones and if it was anything like what he was suffering through when I found him then... He didn't even know who I was, you understand? Not even me... Not until I was able to draw him out and form a new memory for him to exist in, there's no way he could have understood who he was looking at when he was being tested!  
_ She frowned. “There were a lot of places between here and BBR, a lot of people."  
_He doesn't know he's the King Ray, I don't think he can see outside of himself, not consciously like I can. The body and the mind aren't working together.  
_ Sunny rubbed her throat in sympathy with his ugly burn. "How did he burn you? You said he attacked you? What memory was this?"  
Ocelot's face went still and he looked away.  
  
_Zanzibar._  
"Zanzibar?"  
_He was burning. I don't know how long he was stuck in that particular file but any time at all is too long._ He turned on her with a snarl. _What kind of bastard leaves a memory like THAT in there? Knowing that MB-AIs can get stuck when they reach the end of their past lives!?  
_ "A-ah..." she stepped back.  
_Sorry. Sorry I... But you didn't see him. I'm so tired of seeing him suffer.  
  
_ "Is this what you intended right from the s-start? That whole thing about finishing him off, and..." her throat closed up and she cursed herself again as tears threatened. "You lied to me to get out here?"  
_Yes and no... I meant what I said. I'm not turning my back on you. I'd understand if you didn't think the same way right now, if you wanted to be done with me, but I still consider myself to be your friend. Big Boss does need to be destroyed, but I really do believe there's something left of John in there. I helped create Big Boss, I fanned the flames of his madness, if anyone should help him find himself again, help him destroy the creature he became, it's me.  
_ Sunny scowled. "You know that's not how I understood you."  
_I know._  
"That was a dick move."  
_I know._  
"And people don't work like that Ocelot, you can't just t-turn back the clock to fix him!"  
He nodded. _As much as I wish I could, I know that too, but maybe he can heal_ _._  
She gestured to the King Ray. "And what do you think you're going to do? Wake him fully, get him to register his ch-chassis? Look at it, Ocelot. Look at it!"  
The Wildcat turned its head reluctantly to look back at the King Ray. Twisted and torn, beyond disabled.  
"You want to wake him up to that? What do you think is going to happen? That he'll be able to cope with that 'new' body? Or what? You think I can fix that or s-something?"  
  
The Wildcat turned back to her and Ocelot raised his gaze. Sunny took in his expression and regretted being harsh, but he didn't seem to have thought this through.  
"We can't take the AI back, and expect them to give him a new body, they'll destroy him and if this gets out, you too. Ocelot I know it probably doesn't really seem like it right now, but people like you. You have a really really dark past, but no one can argue that it looks like everything you did, was out of loyalty to Big Boss. People don't agree with what you did, but they sympathise with why you did it, and it was because of you that we're free of The Patriots! Coming after me, saving me? That really helped too. If you destroy the King Ray, take it away from people who would use it, free yourself from your past, no one would doubt that you are really trying to move on. Big Boss is different, yes there are groups of people who prefer to remember him as a warrior, who’s focus was on providing a livelihood and home for his people, but most people remember him mostly as a man behind hundreds, if not thousands of deaths, who wanted to create a world of perpetual war, who tried to withhold what has become a vital fuel source, the one you run on, and couldn't seem to keep his hands off nuclear weapons! He doesn't have the options you do!"  
_I understand!  
  
_ "So what, Ocelot? What are you going to do now? And don't think I'm going to help you unless you intend to destroy that AI yourself."  
_You know, it's funny. Snake being remembered for all these bad things? I know he did terrible things, I do know, and he never should have tried again with nuclear weapons, but he really did do it out of concern for his people, for people like him. His philosophy was flawed, terribly so,_ _and in the end I didn’t agree with him_ _even if_ _he really did believe in what he preached, but if he'd been_ _given_ _the support he needed when he needed it, he might have_ _had a chance to recover_ _. He fought and killed because it was his job, his life and the only thing left to him. Me though? I did horrible things, betrayed the secrets of my country, indulged my sadism and hid it under a veil of professionalism,_ _as you have so rightfully pointed out,_ _all so I could impress hi_ _m and get his approval._ _Why should I get the second chance?_ _Maybe I didn’t have many choices, but I still made the choice_ _to be a bastard, he was just very sick, how is that fair?  
_ "Maybe it's not, but it's what you have to deal with. Waking him up now would be cruel. He chose to die before, right? We can be done with this, and you can move on."  
_I can't do that, he needs me._  
Sunny hung her head to hide her face from him.  
_But the thing is, those aren't my only options._  
"W-what?"  
_I need to head back now, I told him I wouldn't leave him but my power dropped too low and disconnected me. I know he wouldn't have kept running for long without me supplying power, but still, I don't want to leave him alone for long or he might regress._  
Sunny pursed her lips.  
_He's not safe yet, but I'd like you to meet him soon._  
"You think that'll change my mind about this?"  
Ocelot smiled. _Yes_.  
"And why's that?"  
_Because I know you, you won't kill someone in cold blood. You couldn't even let them destroy me._  
Sunny shook her head. "Oh Ocelot, it's not just about killing him... No I don't want to kill him if he can be saved and helped. Really helped. Of course I don't. It's not just about the two of us though, is it?"  
He smiled, secrets hiding behind his teeth. _No, it's not._

 

_ _


	37. Intimidation

“ _Was it you or I who stumbled first? It does not matter. The one of us who finds the strength to get up first, must help the other._ ”

\--

Vera Nazarian

  


"What are these options you mentioned?"   
Sunny stared glumly out of the window as the Wildcat loped back to the King Ray.  
_You're not going to like that either._  
"I'm sure I'm not, but thank you for being honest about that at least."  
_Look.  
  
_ Sunny followed his mental gesture and saw that on the far edge of the docks, were the concrete met the forest, a large vehicle had appeared. The bulbous truck was flanked by a handful of jeeps, each of them with dark clad soldiers sitting in, or standing around them. The hairs on the back of Sunny's arms stood on end, from where her camp had been the group had been completely out of sight.  
"When d-did they get here?"  
_While I was shut down. They were waiting for us to appear before sending for the GPU, couldn't have been easy getting that out here._  
"T-that's a GPU?"  
_Big power unit for a big machine._ He chuckled _. I'm glad they showed up, the Kind Ray is a bit much for me to power_ _alone._  
"How d-did they...? You were in contact with them? H-how long?"  
_T_ _hey showed up_ _a couple of_ _night_ _s ago, but they’ve been watching us for longer_ _. Don't worry, I've not been working with them since day one, nothing like that._  
"W-well that's a relief." She said bitterly.  
_They're the only people who might be able to help._  
"Help? I think we need to agree on a d-definition of that word."  
_Later. Right now I have this to take care of._  
"I'm not... I'm not getting out of here…"  
_That's fine.  
  
_ The soldiers approached and circled them at a distance. They had rifles on hand, but didn't raise them. Ocelot guided the huge GPU into position while Sunny hugged her knees and shivered and felt ashamed at her reaction. Looking down at those familiar helmets with their large glassy googles and beak-like in-built gas masks made her skin crawl.  
"Y-you won't let them t-take me away again w-will you?"  
_Of course not. I won't let anything happen to you._  
"Promise me, promise m-me you're not lying this time!"  
_No one will lay a finger on you without your permission as long as I'm here. I promise. I made that clear to them the moment they approached me, your safety is important._  
"You s-sure? With them you d-don't need me around."  
_I need you._  
"Why?"  
_The King Ray's not built like I am, its brain needs to be modified to make it safe. I wouldn't trust his mind in anyone's hands but yours._  
Sunny's initial reaction was to ask him why he thought she would help at all, but instead she asked: "You'd trust me with Big Boss?"  
_Yes. I trust you with me after all._  
"I mean... You tried to become Liquid, I wasn't s-sure how much you valued the in-integrity of your mind."  
Ocelot chuckled. _That's a fair point, but I do value who gets to know what's rattling around in here, and I trust you and your work._  
  
Sunny puffed out her cheeks in thought. "You know I just thought of s-something."  
The Wildcat was turning towards the connection points.  
_What's that?_  
"I can't l-leave. You can't take me back and then r-return here on your own, and you know I won't go with an escort of these p-people. I have no way of getting back a-alone either."  
_Oh yes?_  
"S-so I'm s-stuck here."  
_Yes…_  
"Because you know I wouldn't c-choose to help on a whim, and this just means I don't have a choice—"   
_No! I'd prefer you to be the one working on him, but I won't force you, you're not my prisoner. You're right, it would be hard for you to return, whether you spend your time here actively or passively is up to you, but you won't be forced into working on this._ _If you can return and wish to, I will endeavour to make your journey as smooth as possible._  
Sunny grunted and slumped back into her chair.  
_Wish me luck in there?_  
"You're sure going to need it."  
  
The GPU for the King Ray was easily the size of a large truck, and appeared to have been made in-house. It didn’t look particularly safe. Behind it was towed a smaller regular example for the Wildcat. Despite the decrepid appearance of the power unit, rigging up the King Ray was anticlimactic, but Ocelot was confident it was receiving power, and hopefully batteries were charging. Ocelot decided that once he was hooked up to the King Ray he would try to find out if it had solar panels too. They stepped into the shadow of the King Ray's head and the Wildcat reached out with its dented manipulator arms.  
"Good luck."  
_Thanks.  
  
_ \---  
  
Ocelot sat down beside him on the bank. He'd been easy to locate this time, a stable signal of 'life' among the burnt stumps. That seemed to be a positive indication of the AI's current condition, but the image of Big Boss flickered unstably. While he appeared predominately as the older man Ocelot remembered, with the weary eyes and taught stressed mouth, other faces passed over him like a faulty television image. Sometimes John, occasionally Ahab, a fraction of a second of a burnt grinning skull then back again; young, old, tired, vibrant. Big Boss’ sense of identity fractured across a lifetime. He refused to look at Ocelot and his voice sounded accusing when he spoke.  
  
"You left. You said you wouldn't."  
"It shouldn't happen again, not without warning anyhow."  
"Shouldn't?"  
"Things happen."  
"Why did you have to leave?"  
"It's… Complex. Take my word for it?"  
Big Boss finally turned to look at him, blue eye narrowing.  
Ocelot met his gaze earnestly. "I'll explain later, but it's a lot to take in and I'm still not sure how to start."  
"You're the same as the others." He grunted and looked away.  
"What others?"  
"The other 'people' that come out of the... Forest. They all leave. I've seen you before." He gave Ocelot a quick look up and down. "You have to be one of them, because I know you're older than that."  
Ocelot looked down at himself, the sun dried leather of his gloves, the white shirt, unbuttoned to below his collar bones.  
"I suppose that's right. I thought it might be helpful, since the last time you had to wake up to a big change, this is how I looked. I wanted you to recognise me."  
"Big change?"  
"What do you remember?"  
"The last thing I remember is Solid Snake, more adaptable than I thought, he..." his expression clouded over, the moss they were sitting on crackled dryly.  
  
"Snake? John!" Big Boss flinched and came back to the present looking back at Ocelot in confusion. "A lot has happened since then." Ocelot prompted.  
"Why don't I remember a hospital or anything, how did I get here?"  
"Because those memories don't exist in this reality."  
"This reality?"  
"It's—"  
"Complicated, yeah I get it."  
  
"I remember fighting Solid Snake," he said again. "I remember there was a fire. There's a lot of noise after that, people that weren't really there, the fight again, more fire, The Boss, the flowers, fire over and over again. Next thing I know you're holding me in the river, outside. As much as I'd like to think it was all a hallucination from something Snake did to me, I don't think you'd have thrown me in the water if I wasn't in trouble, and I somehow doubt you got me out of there in time for me to avoid burns." He studied the backs of his hands, as if expecting them to erupt in blisters and raw flesh at any moment. Ocelot stared at them warily.  
"I didn't. You were badly burnt."  
"So why am I—"  
"You're dead, Boss."  
"Then if you're here...?"  
"Yeah."  
"This is...?" he looked around him incredulously.  
"No. We're not dead any more."  
"Any more?"  
Ocelot rubbed his eyes. "I'll... Start from Zanzibar, but it's a long story so I'll keep it short."  
"Yeah," he grunted. "Fill in the details later.  
  
Big Boss remained silent as Ocelot told him the story of how his fight against Solid Snake had been supervised, with The Patriots recovering his half-dead body and keeping it alive after Snake quickly left the scene. The plot EVA and he had started to eradicate the organisation, after Zero's dreams had become so twisted up inside the AIs. How the two of them had slowly moved their way through the founding members of The Patriots: Clark, Anderson... Both dead. The events of Shadow Moses, Liquid Snake trying to out do his father. Big Boss chuckled cruelly when Ocelot explained how Liquid's Outer Heaven never got of the ground. He explained his role in the proliferation of Metal Gear technology after Shadow Moses, and how it had lead to the Big Shell incident. Big Boss shook his head bitterly when Ocelot explained the S3 plan to recreate Solid Snake. Looked at him in bafflement when Ocelot told him how he and Naomi Hunter had started on their plan to disguise him as Liquid Ocelot. How he could have no memory of recovering Big Boss during that era, and while he knew it must have happened, he didn't know how or even if it had happened before or after he’d become Liquid Ocelot. Big Boss looked away stubbornly at EVA's death, but closed his eyes when it was Ocelot's time to die. He didn't seem to know how to respond when Ocelot explained how he, Big Boss, had faced Solid Snake without animosity, or to the knowledge that he'd killed Zero himself.  
  
"I... Chose to die?"  
"We all did."  
"So how are we here?"  
"You remember the Peace Walker?"  
He grunted.  
"Well we're like her, only more advanced."  
Big Boss frowned.  
"We're AIs, unusual ones at that. We're not supposed to be conscious like this."  
"So, what happened?"  
"I think I was designed to wake up, Liquid Ocelot's army survived and seem to be behind my return. I was trapped inside my own head, didn't even know there was anything wrong. That's the difference between you and I. There was a problem with your programming and you... Didn't work right. This was the case for all MB-AIs, what we are. If I was designed to be woken up, it was supposed to be by a particular pilot for a reason I don't really know yet." He rubbed his forehead. "Then one day a stranger came into my head. I followed her out into the real world and well, I've been a conscious hu—person ever since. It wasn't an easy transition, even for me. Sunny and I didn't know how to handle each other at first."  
"Sunny?"  
"She's the one who woke me up. Do you remember Sergei? She's his granddaughter."  
"You said... Pilot?"  
"Yes."  
"So we're not entirely like the Peace Walker then?"  
"No. No, she was entirely unmanned." Ocelot grimaced. "I don't know what we're going to do with you, Sunny's right, I've not entirely thought this through." John raised his eyebrows. "Even I do things fairly spontaneously sometimes you know." Ocelot said dryly. "But I was nearly destroyed when the company that owns my chassis found out about me. Sunny risked her career to save me."  
  
Big Boss patted around his body for the tenth time for a cigar that didn't seem to exist. "That was good of her."  
"She's a good person."  
"You trust her?"  
"Yes."  
Big Boss nodded thoughtfully.  
"I'm doing a thorough job of giving her reasons not to trust me though, so I don't know if she'll stick around for much longer." He said sadly, cracking his knuckles and studying the lines in his gloves in preference of looking at Big Boss.  
"I'm sure you'd get over it if she left."  
"Hmn."  
Big Boss’ smile vanished and he glanced at him curiously.  
"So many people have died. EVA, Frank and Naomi, Kaz... Wolf. Wolf's dead." He eyed up the grizzled man for a sign of remorse or shock or anything, but Big Boss just twisted his mouth.  
"Shame, she was a good soldier."  
Ocelot's gaze dropped to the forest floor.  
"My relationship with Sunny is... Peculiar by nature. It's made me see things differently, and I value that. I feel like I understand things better now. I would be sad to loose her, she's a good partner."  
"I thought you preferred to work alone?" John's grinned somewhat unpleasantly.  
"Something like that."  
  
"You know, I do have regrets over what I’ve done… And I miss EVA. We'd talked about it: we wanted to remove all of the founding members of The Patriots, that included the two of us. So it didn't come as a surprise when I found out she was dead. I didn't keep my promise to her though: I promised her it would be me that killed her if that's what it came to, but when the time came, I was someone else. I think I deliberately left her to die with her son, but..." He trailed off.  
"Can you explain more about that? About... Liquid Ocelot?"  
Ocelot nodded and explained hesitantly how he'd systematically broken down his own personality to hide from The Patriots, using a variety of methods, some of which they'd previously used on Venom Snake, making sure to add that Naomi had been behind most of it, as it had been impossible for him to work solely on himself.  
“Solid Snake managed to bring me back to myself at the end. You know, he stayed with me when I was dying? Kept me company. I appreciate that, even if I don't remember it."  
"You did all that for me."  
"Not all of it, but most of it yes."  
“And now you’re here. Are you going to kill me too?”  
He reached out to touch John’s shoulder. “You know what I really regret?”  
Big Boss grunted again.  
“It’s that I understood when Venom needed help, when his mind was confused and sick, but I never accepted it when you needed help for the same reasons. I brought him doctors, and gave you flowers.”  
“Ocelot...”  
“Please forgive me, John, I should never have thought of you as untouchable.”  
  
\---  
  
"So, this woman... Is she going to be angry at you?"  
"Sunny? Yeah. She's already angry." Ocelot smiled sadly. "I've abused her trust, I want to make it up to her."  
"You seem fond of her. You're close?"  
"Sort of. We were, but this might be the last straw."  
"Huh. I thought you'd be more bothered about having someone command you as a 'pilot'."  
"She doesn't command me, we work together," he smiled bitterly. "It's a nice change of pace."  
  
Ocelot watched patiently as Big Boss got up and paced along the river bank. The older man had finally persuaded a cigar that it existed, and was smoking it ferociously as he stalked back and forth, trying to process everything Ocelot had told him. His form continued to shift and change, seeking a stable sense of identity and seeking in vain, though here and there it seemed to stick longer than before. Was he figuring something out? Ocelot dragged his eyes away from his companion to stare at his hands and focus on himself, he was feeling out of sorts.  
  
While Big Boss was wrestling with the new information, Ocelot turned his gaze inwards and tried to centre himself. It was something he'd had to do a lot since discovering Big Boss had been brought back. Only Sunny seemed to ground him. He'd forgiven her keeping knowledge of the King Ray from him quickly, if reluctantly, to regain his anchor to the present and the outside world, which had been stolen from him with the changes made to his senses. Sunny, he realised, was right, waking Big Boss up and reconnecting him to the King Ray while it was in this state was a terrible idea. The Wildcat had been a shock to him with its inhuman body and inhuman senses, and that was fully operational.  
  
When Big Boss finally stopped pacing and looked back at Ocelot, he found Ocelot standing and straightening his waistcoat.  
"Ocelot?"  
He looked up, flicking his hair back over his shoulder.  
"You... Changed?" His one good eye was roving suspiciously over the gunman who smiled.  
"Don't worry. It's still me."  
"Don't worry? I don't even know if I can still trust you."  
"But of course you can."  
"Can I?" his expression darkened, his voice deepened, the world seemed a colder place.  
Ocelot brushed detritus from his trousers as an excuse to look away.  
"Boss it's me. Of course you can trust me."  
Big Boss jerked forwards and in a few strides was almost nose to nose with Ocelot, who leant back imperceptibly.  
"You don't sound so sure of that!" he growled.  
  
Ocelot's shoulders sagged. "Okay, maybe I'm not, but look at yourself, look at who you're trying to intimidate." Big Boss scowled. "It's me, I've been on your side since before we even knew each other, when have I ever been anything but your friend and ally?"  
"So why hold back now?"  
"Because of this. Because I am on your side, but I've had time to think clearly for the first time in my life. I am your friend, but that might mean doing things you need, but don't want. You can trust me to have your best interests at heart, always, but I can't promise to be your unthinking pawn any more. Boss."  
Big Boss laughed low and for slightly too long before walking away, Ocelot almost relaxed.  
"I wouldn't want you to be." He said around his cigar.  
"If you say so, Boss."  
"You don't trust me any more?"   
"I'm not sure."  
"I'm not sure I like this new Ocelot."  
Ocelot smiled. "You don't like me being honest with you?"  
"You weren't before?"  
"I couldn't be, I wasn't being honest with myself. There's…"  
"What?"  
"There's something I need from you, but I'm not sure what it is yet."  
"Huh. Get back to me on that."  
"I will. It's important."  
  
Before Big Boss could answer Ocelot straightened up with jolt, turning his head this way and that as if listening. The second time it happened Big Boss heard it too. If 'heard' was the right word. It was soundless, wordless, but it made Ocelot bristle and get to his feet. Someone was calling for help.  
"It's Sunny, I have to go."  
"Ocelot…"  
Their gaze met for an instant, then Ocelot was gone. Leaving a void in Big Boss' reality that was soon flooded with sky and dead jungle.  
  
Big Boss stood numbly on the lifeless river bank. He'd never been given a reason to doubt Ocelot's loyalty. No. He had, once, doubted him. When he'd fled The Patriots and left Ocelot at EVA's side, blaming them for a mistake they couldn't have known they were making. He'd been reluctant to see him after that. He'd dutifully listened to every one of EVA's messages, read every letter, replied to none of them and wondered often if Ocelot, who after a few uncomfortable visits had remained silent and absent, had given up on him. Then the attack had happened. Big Boss had awoken in the hospital to white flowers and Ocelot's brittle dying hope. He'd known him immediately, though he'd changed so much. Big Boss remembered running a trembling weak hand over Ocelot's fine grey hair, spangled with golden strands and realising how much he'd missed. He'd known Ocelot even with the weight of a decade added to his shoulders. He'd know Ocelot anywhere. As much has he didn't want to believe it, he trusted that this strange apparition that came and went and changed before his eyes, was indeed that man.  
  
For nine years Ocelot had waited at his bed side, corrupted his own career and swum in dangerous waters to keep him safe. He'd always had his back, even when pointing a gun in his face. He'd been patient with their relationship, endlessly so, dreaming of a future they'd never had and never once asking for more than Big Boss was willing to give. Ocelot had laughed in the face of the ultimate sin of caring for his fellow soldier, even as John himself built walls to keep the world out. Would The Boss have approved more of his actions, or Ocelot’s? Maybe now Ocelot was finally learning not to invest his emotions in his comrades… Big Boss sighed out a cloud of smoke and shook his head. No, no he'd obviously become very fond of this young woman who'd helped him, that wasn't out of the ordinary for Ocelot. Something had happened, but Ocelot was still Ocelot and he'd still offered him his help, even if he'd gone running when his 'pilot' called for him. Big Boss ground his teeth, was that it? Was he less his ally and more hers now?  
He blinked in the harsh light.  
"Wolf is dead..." he echoed thoughtfully.  
  
\---  
  
The Wildcat stepped back and shook out its shoulders. Damn it, he looked up at the King Ray, didn't even do what he came here for—he'd look into that later. He turned in confusion as he realised Sunny was gone. At some point she'd gotten bored, or uncomfortable or something and had climbed out down the emergency ladder. He retracted his whiskers and the ladder, scanning for her and found her back towards the buildings. She'd moved their camp into the recesses of one of the buildings' great doorways, presumably to escape potential weather. Right now though, her back was pressed against the rusty old doors and she was reaching without intent towards him for help.  
  
As Ocelot approached he saw an Otselotovaya Khvatka soldier, helmet under one arm, and the other held out towards Sunny, approaching her and apparently trying to talk to her. She wasn't reacting well but he wasn't getting the hint. The Wildcat's tail snapped down with a crack and the soldier jumped around at the sound of splintering concrete. Ducking his head when the Metal Gear strode up to them.  
"Shalashaska!" he remembered to salute.  
"What are you doing?" he rumbled.  
"I was inviting your pilot to supper, we have enough for her too."  
Sunny hunched her shoulders.  
"What did she say?"  
"Well, 'no'…"  
"Then why are you still here?"  
"Sorry, sir."  
"To her."  
"Ah... S-sorry Miss."  
"I shouldn't need to be walking you through proper manners. Of you go."  
"I'm sorry, sir, it won't happen again." He ducked his head again and scurried off.  
  
_He seems nice._ Ocelot purred.  
"Don't start." She pushed off the wall and crossed her arms.  
_Still angry?  
_ She turned away and sat down heavily on her sleeping bag.  
_Yeah I would be too._ He dropped his head to her height. _I didn't lie to you though.  
_ She looked up and narrowed her honey coloured eyes. "I want, and I quote, 'to kill Big Boss'?"  
_I do! Kind of…_  
"Then why bring him back? Why not just leave it alone?"  
_You can't kill something that's already dead. Or save it.  
_ Sunny stared up at his burning blue eyes and shook her head slowly. "I don't believe you can do it, not him, we don't even know if AI minds are as malleable as humans'. He might not be fixable."  
_True._ Ocelot laughed. _But it was you who inspired me. Remember, you mentioned your friend Rosemary, how she helped Solid Snake and her husband, Jack.  
  
_ It had been months ago, she'd been telling him how Rose had continued to work with Snake in the days after Liquid Ocelot's insurrection, she'd helped him reach a level of peace he'd not seen in many years, and Raiden—Jack—had come on in leaps and bounds under the councillor's care, once he had finally accepted he needed help. Sunny had spent a lot of time with Rose when her continued living with Hal had come under question, she'd seen many soldiers come and go from that house. She hadn't realised Ocelot had actually been paying that much attention, he'd wanted to know why she shunned the idea of getting counselling herself and she'd changed the subject quickly. He hadn't brought Rose back up in conversation and she'd thought he'd lost interest. Apparently not.  
  
_I believe there is still hope for him, so long as he is alive, and willing._  
"Do you really believe that?"  
_...I have to Sunny. It's that or accept everything was a waste. I came here for answers, but he's as lost as I am, I won't get them from him. The least I can do it try to help him undo the damage I helped cause in the first place._


	38. Shield and Sword

“ _Feel jaded_  
_The glimmer has faded_  
_Our bond is abraded_  
_The ties are gone_  
_Are we finished?_  
_The fun is diminished,_  
_the party's done._ "

\--

Broken, Savlonic

 

Sunny awoke to the cool pre-dawn light. Weak and watery. She'd slept fitfully and had woken a few hours previously when her companion had risen to his feet and walked away across the dock, only to fall asleep again before seeing his destination. Now she awoke once more with a headache and a painful crick in her neck. She sat up slowly, rubbing her neck and feeling it pop and crack as she blinked the sleep away.  
  
The Wildcat was stretched out at the King Ray's side, the Otselotovaya Khvatka soldiers were apparently in conversation with the smaller of the two machines. Sunny rubbed her eyes and idly damned him for not leaving any rations with her before leaving her here. She didn't want to go near those soldiers. She slunk away, yawning until her mouth hurt and stomach grumbling loudly. She vanished behind the decrepit buildings to pee and by the time she emerged the Wildcat was up on its feet, bristling and flexing its claws. One of the soldiers was gesticulating wildly, and whatever it was they said, it seemed to work. The Metal Gear relaxed and settled back on its haunches. Sunny straightened her back, which popped from her twisted sleeping position and walked towards them.  
  
It seemed to take a lifetime crossing that wide expanse of pitted concrete, but then all at once she was stepping into the shadow of the two Metal Gear and the Wildcat was looking down at her. To her surprise the soldiers saluted.  
"Comrade Gurlukovich."  
"Emmerich..." she muttered automatically and glanced up at the Wildcat, that was giving off the distinct sense of amusement.  
_Old fashioned conventions,_ he purred. _I kind of like it but it's a little... Quaint._  
"I have to call in to the base, Ocelot, we were very late doing that yesterday, I'm worried they'll get suspicious."  
_Yes._ He paused then said aloud and growling: "Big Boss must be moved, but he can't be in this state. Sunny, I need you to shut him down properly. I don't believe he knows how to control his own body. The damage may be to blame. Once he's completely unconscious he can be dismantled and shifted." He looked aside to glance at the quiet King Ray. "Then repaired."  
  
Sunny pursed her lips, glanced at the soldiers with their guns and nodded. "Then I'll say we've been delayed, the King Ray's armour was less damaged than we initially hoped."  
"My own systems are still feeding information back, I'm sure our movements are being tracked. If we leave this place then BBR will be aware, we could lead them straight to Otselotovaya Khvatka's base here, and to him." He tilted his head when Sunny frowned. "I won't ask for your answer now."  
"They'll know…"  
"I'm aware. But they won't be able to do anything about it. I know what I'm asking of you, Sunny. I will send you home if—"  
She crossed her arms. "Let me think."  
  
\---  
  
"I'm still thinking."  
_Will you meet him?_ He plopped down beside her, the concrete shook. _I think he'd like to meet you, but don't expect him to show it._  
"I don't want to meet him."  
_Please? I think it's only fair you meet him yourself before making your decision._  
Sunny sighed. "He's... safe?"  
_As safe as he ever was._  
"Don't tell me that…"  
_If anything happens I'll disconnect immediately._  
She glanced sideways at him and saw his projection standing over her, brows knitted, the burn on his throat had faded, but the memory lived on. He gave a funny little flourish of his arm, something between a bow and an invitation. Sunny nodded, and followed him into his virtual reality.  
  
"The King Ray has enough power now that I don't have to be in direct contact with him. I was able to help him set up permissions so we could communicate, but he still can't reach out to me on his own and he... Well he might interrupt the connection by mistake." He smiled fondly. "He never was gifted with technology."  
"Solid Snake was the same."  
"Sunny?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Stay close, I don't know how he might react to you, subconsciously."  
"O-okay."  
He gave her a flashing grin before looking away. "One other thing…"  
"Yes?"  
"Believe it or not, I do understand he's not one of your favourite people, but don't antagonise him."  
"I... Of course not!"  
"Thank you."  
"Ocelot?" He looked back at her, and she searched his sad blue eyes for a moment longer before nodding. "I understand, he's hurt and... Ill, I know."  
He inclined his head gratefully.  
  
Sunny had never used one Metal Gear as a bridge to another before. Of course she'd never been in the mind of another Metal Gear before, nor had the opportunity to encounter another conscious AI. The jump was disconcerting and she almost lost her focus, it was Ocelot's hand on her shoulder that rooted her, she might not be able to focus on her place in the King Ray's VR, but she could focus on being at Ocelot's side and she did so, clinging to his arm. She sighed through her nose and the world came into focus.  
  
"Wow."  
"You should have seen it before. He's seeing things differently now. It gives me hope." She looked up at him; the harsh white light of his VR had given him a washed out look but here his white hair became a dull warm grey, his eyes were softer and from his boots to his capelet he suited the earthy background well. The remains of the burnt trees had vanished behind a thick dark boreal forest. From the undergrowth to the canopy the world was emerald green, inky shadows and golden pools of light.  
Ocelot gestured around them. "This was all burnt tree stumps and ashes when I first found him. I must have gotten something right as it seems there is life in him yet. You know, when he and I met, that was his first real excursion outside of urban warfare, but he did learn to love the forest."  
"Ocelot."  
He dropped his hands and turned to her.  
"Tell me I'm doing the right thing?"  
"You're doing the right thing." It was almost an echo.  
"I'm not sure I believe you."  
"He's this way."  
  
Fearful of what might happen if he left the waterside and the burning came back, Snake had felt someone enter the area, but hadn't gone to find them. He could only hope that it was Ocelot, the real Ocelot, and not some stray memory haunting the forest. He was a little nervous of the forest, wasn't sure when it had appeared. Ocelot had been delighted by it, but Snake wasn't sure what it meant. He knew that it hadn't always been here, and yet it felt like it had. He knotted his fingers into his already tangled hair. His whole body ached with a pounding normally saved for the worst of his headaches. He hadn't told Ocelot of course, but he'd tried walking into the river between visits. The water didn't act liked he'd expected. Or maybe it would be fairer to say he'd only then realised that he wasn't breathing anyway and so the water had nothing to stop. He'd lain on the slippery rocks and looked up at the sunlight shining through the undulating surface and thought of The Boss. His anger had faded along with every other passion in his soul and now he thought of her only with numb reflection. Where did her soul lie? The potter's field? The flower field? The bottom of the lake? Did she look upon him even now—false lungs full of false water contemplating a fake life from the bottom of a fake river? Surely she was disappointed in her final apprentice. She should be. He was. He'd never found anything to take into the fields of battle, he'd lost plenty there but found only emptiness, until all that was left was the rush and purpose of the fight and he was empty all the way through.  
  
"I don't care." He’d said to a caddisfly nymph that his imagination had brought to life near him, but even the tiny creature seemed to know it was a lie and had retreated into its home. Snake hadn't liked the way the nymph had looked at him so he'd climbed up to the shore and sat with his head on his knees, dripping water until he forgot about that too and had dried off. Ocelot had told him that he could access memories as he liked, but no matter how he tried, he couldn't see into his past in the way he thought he was supposed to. The memories remained nothing more than a distant recollection, a jumble of words and ideas. He struggled to immerse himself in a better time, with better company than a bug, but failed, his comrades slipping through his fingers as fast as he reached for them.  
  
"Boss?"  
He flinched and looked around. "It's you?"  
"Yes, really me."  
Sunny jumped when Ocelot reached around her back and placed a hand on her shoulder.  
"Boss, this is Sunny Gurlukovich-Emmerich, the one I told you about?"  
  
When they emerged on the river bank, Sunny’s first impression of the AI was of a tattered old man. He was bent over and holding himself together, fingers digging into his clothes, as if he might break apart at any moment. When he turned to look at them his one eye was opened wide and unfocused and the damage to his face, so eerily familiar, had made her first instinct one of compassion. Now as Ocelot spoke, and put himself between her and the other man, Snake stood up, squaring his shoulders and carrying himself as straight as any career soldier. His height and breadth became apparent, and the tattered scars became badges of ferocity, the diamond shrapnel lodged in his skull (Ocelot had warned her that no matter what he told Snake, he didn't seem able to disassociate Venom and himself as anything other than the same person, though he recognised the work they'd done to create Venom in the first place,) became sharp horns and his grey eye became hard as clouded quartz. She stepped back but Ocelot's arm stopped her from retreating. She looked up at him, and saw stress in the slant of his mouth. Tension and dislike roiled in her belly and she took a step towards Snake, head held up, her back straight. Seconds ticked by then Snake smiled, utterly unlike the smile she remembered her uncle having.  
"Yes, I can see why you like her, Ocelot. So, you're the young woman who spared his life?"  
"We all make mistakes." She said before she could stop herself.  
Snake blinked in surprise and laughed. Sunny felt the tense arm across her shoulders relax and drop away.  
"Yes," the older soldier grinned. "I did the same and I never got rid of him."  
  
As if this breaking of tension was all Snake had sought, he turned his back and walked away a few steps. "Ocelot, what's the news?"  
"Sunny will contact the company," Snake looked back over at him. "She will buy us time."  
"Good. So the plan—"  
"Still going ahead."  
Snake nodded slowly and turned to Sunny. "Have you agreed to join us?"  
She shook her head. "I need time."  
"We don't have a lot of that."  
"Boss."  
The two men met each others gaze and for a moment the tension was tangible, then Ocelot looked away.  
"I need an answer." Snake growled.  
"You'll get one, but not now."  
"Not now." He nodded and approached Ocelot in a strange darting manner. "Ocelot, you're considering going back still?"  
"If I have to."  
"You'll be in danger."  
"That's so unusual?"  
"Unusual? No... No I guess not," he fidgeted. "But you know—"  
"I know." He glanced at Sunny. "I'm not going anywhere."  
Sunny shivered, Ocelot didn't mean his possible return to BBR, that much was obvious, but the two men had been holding conversations she was terribly unaware of.  
  
She spoke up. "We've barely been here five minutes and you're already worried he's going to get himself killed?" she asked.  
Snake scowled.  
"I know what you're thinking, Boss, I'm not—"  
"It's too similar!"  
"It'll be fine."  
"Ocelot!"  
"Really."  
Sunny looked from one to the other, "I...?"  
Ocelot shook his head and she stopped. "Boss, I'll come back and update you soon."  
"You're leaving already?"  
"I think that's for the best."  
Snake clenched his jaw and his eye narrowed and the look he shot at Ocelot made it seem he was being left alone for good, but Ocelot just smiled benignly and said he'd be back soon, and placed one tense hand on her shoulder.  
  
Sunny was ejected so hard back into her own head she had to close her eyes tightly until the dizziness faded.  
_Today was not a good day._  
"He seemed... Upset?"  
_That's just him. I don't need to be your friend Rose to understand it either: it just keeps happening to him, over and over, he makes it so._ Sunny gazed up at the Wildcat's slowly drooping head in confusion. _He fears I am like... my mother... and I'm not sure he's wrong._  
"Ocelot, I don't understand what happen—"  
_I'm going to sleep._  
"But—!"  
_Tell me your answer when I wake up._  
"No Ocelot wait!" He remained on the edges of her consciousness, aware and attentive. "What is he afraid of?"  
_I told him what I did, he's afraid I'll destroy myself for him again._  
"He's... Actually afraid of that?"  
_I know how you think of him, but he's not a monster bent on death and destruction. He's selfish, but he does care. He set up Outer Heaven for soldiers, not to_ _make_ _use them, he's had a lot of people die for him, and it doesn't make him happy._ _M_ _y mother sacrificed herself for her cause. He doesn't want to see me do the same. Again._ _For him._ __  
"How do you feel about that?"  
_I want to live._  
  
\---  
  
"The cycle still isn't broken. Is it?"  
Sunny stared at her report back to the base, simple, to the point, believable. Totally fabricated. The Wildcat shrugged when she sent it off and buried her face in her hands.  
_No._  
"Then I have a job to do."  
_And will you remove my bonds?_  
"You know what you're asking, don't you?"  
_I need to be severed from the base. I can't go with Snake if our enemies can follow me. Otselotovaya Khvatka have operatives in the technical department, when they have the go ahead they'll disconnect the emergency system. By the time anyone realises its shut down, I'll have been cut off from it from this end. If you'll help._  
"Our enemies...?"  
He shrugged again. _Potentially. They'll realise what's happened and will want Snake and I destroyed before he's back in working order, that sounds like an enemy to me._  
"They weren't a few days ago."  
_Situations change. Sunny, I'll return you to the base, with our last encounter with this army fresh in everyone's mind they're more likely to believe that you bargained my freedom for your life, you might still keep your job._  
"Wow, thanks for being so considerate." She slithered down and dropped to the ground.  
He chuckled. _Small consolation, I know. I would prefer it if you stayed._ He stepped around to block her route and she stopped and looked up at him. _I have a favour to ask of you._  
"Give me one good reason why I should—"  
_I don't have one._  
Sunny hugged herself and looked back at the broken machine on the edge of the lake. "You need me to fix the AI."  
_Yes. Otselotovaya Khvatka are confident in their ability to repair his body, they say their engineers could handle his mind as well, but I don't trust them like I do you._  
"I can't."  
_You are the best I know._  
"No I mean... How can I? You, okay, fine but... Big Boss? After all that happened. Whose idea was this anyway, to repair him? These people must have planned this!"  
_They did._  
"Why?"  
_I should think they have some grandiose idea about recreating Outer Heaven._  
Sunny pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. "...And why do they want you?"  
His fangs flashed in the sun when he flicked his head. _To do what I should have done years ago_ _probably, k_ _eep_ _Big Boss alive._


	39. Belly of The Beast

_"But even a traitor may mend, I have known one that did._ "

\--

Edmund Pevensie, The Horse and His Boy

 

“Ready?”  
“Yes.” Ocelot answered.  
“Disconnect then. I don’t want you getting cut off improperly.”  
“Yes ma’am!” He rasped over the speakers—then abruptly cut off. Outside of the King Ray's cockpit the Wildcat shook out its shoulders and nodded.  
“See you on the other side,” Sunny said, more for her own benefit than anyone else's, and initialised the shutdown sequence. The King Ray shifted then slumped. Its chin dipped even closer to the water, and the individuals gathered around, cracked their knuckles and shifted tools from one hand to the other. They moved in like a flock of vultures.  
  
Sunny climbed up on the head of the King Ray and waited for the Wildcat to come over to her, she slid down his nose and hopped into the cockpit.  
_How is he?_  
“Might as well be dead for all he knows what’s going on.”  
_Makes a change, but I don’t want to watch this. I’ve seen Snake in a dismantled state before, and once was enough._  
“You trust these people?” The Wildcat raised its head and scanned the working men and women, a few gave him fearful looks. “Guess we should sort you out then?”  
_Why yes, that would be a step in the right direction._ He turned his back on the other Metal Gear and stalked away towards the far end of the docks.  
“I’m going to send another message home, saying you’ve complained of interruptions in the broadcast, and you might go offline for a while, while I investigate—might give us a few more hours at any rate. I don't know how long it'll be before they notice the system has been tampered with at the base.”  
_Good thinking._  
“I spoke to the commander.”  
_You did?_  
“Don’t sound so surprised,” she muttered. “They have the equipment I need at the base, so we’re to go ahead with an escort.”  
_You need help? You?_  
“Ocelot, I know you know that thing is behind however many layers of protection, or you would have shut it down yourself long ago, I need help cracking the passwords, we don’t have long, maybe I could figure them out myself, but some help wouldn't go amiss."  
_How complex do you think those passwords are?_ Doubt crept into his voice.  
“Depends on who programmed them in… But I guessed it was West and the commander said that was likely.”  
_So West is out here? Yes, I suppose he would have been behind the codes, Otselotovaya Khvatka would need to know them to recover me._ _So why not just send a message to him and ask for them?_  
Sunny grimaced. “We did, but apparently they were always supposed to be changed routinely, he gave me the old ones from when he left, we can try them if you like?”  
_No, no. No point, it was accessed monthly, I figured as part of the maintenance schedule, I have no doubt the passwords were being altered too._ _I’m surprised you can’t make an educated guess_ _though._  
There was no real seriousness to Ocelot’s tones, making an educated guess of something like that was unreasonable, but Sunny sighed anyway. “It could be in Russian for all I know.”  
_But you can still make sure I’m not being followed?_  
“I can shut down the system,” she said slowly. “But they can remotely boot it back up, and will do if we’re offline too long. I’m going to turn it off for the last part of the trip, warning them before hand, and hopefully we can get into it and reprogram it to send a false position before they figure it out.”  
_But they’ll still be tracking me while it’s online and you’re changing it?_  
“Yeah.”  
_Well, if that’s what we have to work with, so be it. Thank you for this._  
“You owe me for this.”  
_What would you ask of me?_  
“Not sure, still considering it.”  
He found a sheltered spot between two buildings and backed into it before settling down.  
_Have you forgiven me?_ He simpered.  
“Not in the slightest. Now shut up while I send this.”  
  
\---  
  
The vehicles that had been brought in had left a sizeable track through trees and undergrowth. The escort moved off ahead on a rugged and muddy motorbike, bouncing over pot holes. The Wildcat rumbled and trotted off after the rider. They found themselves back tracking, going back around the lake and towards the area of the forest they’d ploughed through not so long ago. The trip took a while longer, now they weren't bolting along at full speed but at least there was a road to follow this time, back to the open track that the Wildcat had galloped along a few days past. From there they pushed onwards until the ground gave way below them into the gapping maw of what must have once been an open cast mine of some description. Its size dwarfed the Metal Gear as they wound their way down the gravelly track that spiralled into the earth and as they descended details became clearer.  
  
Ocelot was not interested in the modern flat pack buildings that sprouted up like strange off-colour mushrooms in the bottom and on the sides of the mine, or the immense hangar in the centre that from above was almost invisible, such was its camouflage against the red dirt. There was a fleet of vehicles of various sizes and means of locomotion ranging from two dressed down lanky looking REX, to half-tracks and a hoon of motorbikes under a tin roof. There was also, for reasons unknown, an old Reliant Robin without wheels towards the corner of the parking lot. With the appearance of the new Metal Gear swarms of men and women in various states of dress and undress came out to stare, some were grinning, others looked afraid, or angry and it was those people that caught Ocelot's attention. Sunny ducked her head and focused on her breathing but instead of finding calm in the act she found Ocelot's discomfort hidden under the surface of her own fears.  
“What are you thinking?”  
_I didn’t want to come here without being disconnected._  
“I know, I don’t think we had much choice though. How is the signal back home?”  
_Still offline._  
“Yeah? Good. Don’t think that’ll last long, that was fixable their end too. Oh it’s him.”  
  
They stopped outside the hangar as the pale watery little man, from the base they'd destroyed, waddled towards them at top speed. His arms held out welcomingly and a concerned smile painted lopsidedly onto his face just above his many chins. Ocelot growled to himself but put on as sugary a voice as his snarling tones allowed when he greeted the professor.  
“Holder right? We meet again, and so soon!”  
“Shalashaska, thank you for coming, we were concerned you wouldn't give us a chance after that mess back at—” he cut himself off and looked over his shoulder at the sound of a metal door clanging shut. A tall woman in a white rubber coat had emerged from the hangar and was striding towards them. She towered over Holder. Her hair was cropped close to her shapely skull and the right side of her face, while aged—she had to be in her fifties—was handsome and fierce, but the left was terribly damaged. The flesh seemed to have melted and reformed like rubber before a furnace. She was blind in that eye and her teeth showed through her permanent grimace. Sunny gave a strangled cry, but not because of the mutilated flesh.  
  
_Do you want—_ _?_  
"No!"  
_Hmn?_  
"No I don't want out; I want to stay in here."  
_As you wish._ The Wildcat’s head dropped down to human height and spoke: “So, Holder, are you going to introduce us?”  
Holder blustered and straightened his coat. “This is Ingwe,” he glanced at her twisted face. “You have something in common with her, Shalashaska.”  
“Oh yes.” He drawled, and Sunny could hear in his voice that it was not a question, but Ingwe answered anyway in a mild South African accent.  
“We have Big Boss in common.” She smiled coldly. “I am one of the last surviving orphans of Zanzibar Land.” She bowed.  
“Ingwe—yes, how could I have ever forgotten that name.”  
“You remember me?”  
“How could I ever forget your beautiful name my little lioness.”  
She scowled. “Not so little any more, Shalashaska.” Her lips twitched. “Either of us.”  
“It must be good to know something of that time has survived?” Holder puffed out.  
_You’d think so, wouldn’t you._ Ocelot muttered to Sunny.  
Ingwe shot Holder a withering look. “Those were not good times,” she said curtly. “Shalashaska, so sorry to say goodbye again so soon, I’m sure we’ll have time to catch up later. Holder, I believe you have a bay to escort them to?”  
“Ah yes! Of course! This way please!”  
  
\---  
  
At the back of BBR's abandoned airfield there was still standing the old leaking hangar that had been built for the King Ray's construction, it was mostly used for storage now as it was too far from the other hangars and their infrastructure to bother maintaining. From the outside the Otselotovaya Khvatka hangar was on a par with the old hangar at the BBR base. As they entered it however, they saw that inside the metal walls the hangar floor was nearly a story deeper than the ground outside. Moveable gantries hung around the edges of the building and ropes hung from the ceiling like clusters of torn spider webs. To the side, closest to their entry, the ground opened like a huge mouth and spiralled down into the darkness, the mouth was just large enough for two vehicles to pass and it was lined with electric lamps that reminded Sunny of deep sea fish.  
  
“There used to be a service lift from the original bunker,” Holder called up to them. “By the time we arrived it had been utterly destroyed, no doubt to keep what was under it secret.”  
“But you opened it up?”  
"Yes, there was some hope that since the Peace Walker had been housed here, there might still be workable Metal Gear still buried, but it was empty, cleared out long ago."  
"You didn't open the lift back up? For the REX?"  
"No... No most of the tunnels are in a dangerous condition, we reinforced and repaired a few, and work is on going, but it wasn't economical to fix them all at once."  
Sunny whispered to Ocelot: "S-surely leaving them t-to get worse isn't a better option t-though?"  
Ocelot repeated her comment.  
"Well no... 'Economical' might not be the right word..." Holder giggled awkwardly. "We simply didn't have the money for that, had to be saved for other endeavours. Putting up light weight buildings was cheaper, but we're working on it. Here, come this way and we can get a bay comfortable for you. The King Ray will be taking up this side of the hangar."  
"You anticipated his arrival."  
"Oh, none of us doubted you'd find a way to get through to him. We tried you know? But no one managed it. How did you do it?"  
"He recognised me."  
Holder snapped his fingers. "See! I knew it!" He hesitated and, looking worried, hurried along to the bay he'd indicated previously.  
  
The Wildcat glanced aside and Ingwe appeared on one of the monitors, scowling at them.  
“Ocelot…”  
_I know._  
“I d-don’t want to b-be here.”  
_I don’t blame you._  
“S-she was there, Ocelot. When I was first put in that c-cell."  
_Ingwe?_  
"Yeah... S-she won’t try anything will s-she?”  
_With me right here? I strongly doubt it._  
“You knew her?”  
_Last time I saw her she was a little girl._  
“At Zan-Zanzibar?”  
_Yes, but we'll talk later, we should be paying attention.  
  
_ "Holder," Ocelot called as they caught up to the scuttling little man in the time it took to take two strides. "I think it's about time I was told what's going on here."  
"Going on?"  
"Big Boss, myself, why did you bring us back?"  
"Oh, well Ingwe would be able to answer you better but..." Holder knotted his hands. "Well you see I was just hired by them, so I'm not privy to all the details."  
"What are you privy to?"  
"Well after your death, your predecessor's death? I'm not sure how you think of it... Well Otselotovaya Khvatka was somewhat adrift. Between the infamy of their commander, yourself, the SOP syndrome and well... At the time Otselotovaya Khvatka was primarily a female unit, an all female unit I believe and while things got better in the years following the fall of The Patriots, it was hard for such an elite unit to find positions that didn't... neglect their skills. Many left the US, joined other PMCs, but eventually One started to contact them."  
"One?" Sunny looked up at the suspicion in Ocelot's tone.  
"I'm afraid I don't know his real name, or even if he is indeed a 'he' at all, but One certainly had an investment in you."  
"So, One got the unit back together."  
"And expanded it!"  
"So I see. Why not reorganise the unit as a new PMC? One must have some sort of funding behind him?"  
"Ah you'd have to ask him, or Ingwe perhaps."  
  
"Hmn. I believe the technology leading to my construction was lifted from the Chinese and Russians?"  
Holder visibly bristled. "Oh well, to an extent—"  
"I have no doubts that the majority of the work was done in house," Ocelot soothed. "But to risk stealing anything so notable?"  
"Yes yes, it was... Risky. The timing proved beneficial however, the projects were abandoned and it took so long to get you up and running that no one made the connection."  
"That's why you passed it to BBR, to make it seem like it had nothing to do with the theft?"  
"That, and the cost, and the expertise."  
"Of course."  
"One man alone can not build an entire Metal Gear."  
"But a man alone can destroy one…"  
"Excuse me?"  
"Nothing, just thinking aloud. So why Big Boss?"  
"Oh well... That was Ingwe's idea, it took some selling too, but One was the one who suggested you might do a better job of reaching him. As to the 'why', I should have thought that was obvious? After all Otselotovaya Khvatka helped you do it once, and then they were tossed into a world where their battles were chosen for them—"  
"Outer Heaven."  
Sunny whined.  
"You want us to recreate Outer Heaven."  
"Well…"  
  
"I'll speak plainly to you Holder, the man inside the King Ray is unbalanced, Zanzibar and Outer Heaven were not the havens he'd hoped they would be for that reason alone. I could not diagnose him myself, I would not presume to, but I can not in good conscience allow him to take up a leadership role, it would be detrimental to his already poor health, and would be a death sentence to Otselotovaya Khvatka."  
Holder visibly searched for a reply.  
"I have made the mistake of sitting idly by, waiting for his instructions and ignoring what he needed, and it has lead to hundreds of good soldiers' deaths, and his too." Sunny felt his gaze turn to her and she looked up at the camera that stared unblinkingly at her from the roof of the cockpit. “He can shout all he likes, but I won’t simply jump on his command any more, not if I think it’s detrimental to him.”  
  
Holder sighed. "Well frankly, sir, I don't know it'll come to that. There is... Division on the base." He glanced up nervously. His cheeks jiggled. "After what happened previously, many of the people here are not sure they can trust you. Others are interested only in you, they are after all Otselotovaya Khvatka. They want their commander back and are not so sure they want Big Boss. After all, he's failed in raising his nation three times in the past, and his legacy is not one... Of balance. As you say."  
  
"I will remain by the Boss' side and aid in his recuperation, and if I can help you during that time, I shall, but I can not make plans beyond that." Holder held up his hands. "That is between you, Ingwe and One."  
"I understand, and I want you and them to understand: I have seen Big Boss’ plans fall in ruin too many times, what makes you, or anyone else, think Otselotovaya Khvatka can succeed where others have failed? I can assure you, it's not simply a matter of which one of us is in command, and if you think simply waiting for Solid Snake to die was enough, you are mistaken. Big Boss cannot handle another loss of a base, it would break him, he’s seen too many men die.”  
A cold quiet voice answered him from the shadow of his forearm. “That’s your opinion, Shalashaska.”  
The Wildcat sidestepped and looked down at Ingwe.  
  
“And I am right." He said as Sunny clenched her fists. "I know best a man’s breaking point, I can take him there again and again and never once push him over the edge, I know Big Boss better than anyone else alive and I’m telling you he cannot survive losing his soldiers again, not in this state, every time he’s come close to the edge another part of him has been lost, how much do you think is really left? If you want him, you must be prepared to help him recover first.”  
  
Ingwe narrowed her good eye.  
Holder quaked. “Big Boss is an icon of modern warfare, he’s survived—”  
“Hell. He survived hell, but came out of the fires burnt, he needs rest, time to heal. He does not need an army, a new war.”  
Ingwe nodded slowly. "We appreciate your input, Shalashaska, and it will be taken into serious consideration. First we need to focus on his physical welfare.”  
“Yes,” Ocelot rumbled after a moment. “He can't be drawn out into the real world until he has a working body and that includes the stability of his AI. Sunny is in charge of that, all changes to his computer systems must go through her.”  
Ingwe's eyebrows arched. “We have perfectly fine technicians here, Holder himself--”  
“Listen, I don’t really give a shit how good you think your technicians are, Sunny is in charge of everything that happens to Big Boss’ computers.”  
“Yes, sir.” She said tersely.  
“Once he’s on his feet, literally, and Sunny gives him the all clear, we'll discuss where to go from there.”  
Sunny quickly added. "Ocelot, don't make me work with her, I can't do it."  
_I won't, I'll make sure she keeps her distance, and I'll find out what she's up to.  
  
_ “S-so then, tomorrow morning you're going to be fully disconnected from Epsilon-6. You'll have no affiliations with them?”  
_It would seem so._  
Sunny nodded slowly. “While we're at it, I want to replace your thrust controls.”  
_Is there something wrong with them?_  
“Not really, but if we’re separated, I want you to be under your own control. I'm sure these people won't like it, but I'm going to try to shut out anyone from attempting to imprint on you as a pilot, that way you should always be able to override them.”  
_Except you?_  
“Yes." Sunny looked up and met his eyes, they crinkled in the corners with humour she didn't share. "I am going to have to go back. Even if it’s just to take a message, to tell them you’re not totally AWOL, that this is a plan to recover the King Ray. There is a plan right? I never know if you’re just making things up as you go along.”  
_The last thing I want is Snake being taken advantage of by these people, he's not fit to be the leader they want, that some of them want anyway. I meant what I said, he needs help, he has battles of his own that he needs to fight. Besides... no one wants a powerful nation of soldiers, particularly one led by a warmonger like him. So someone will always step in to put a stop to it before it gets too far and_ _he knows it, it_ _feeds his paranoia and fear. If he takes command again, he needs to understand that and keep things... Small.  
_ "Small? Like you did?"  
_That was different.  
_ "How?"  
_Firstly, Liquid Ocelot kept things broken up, no one looked at his PMCs as a single unit. Secondly, my goal wasn't to continuously run the PMCs, it was to use them as a cover and source of finance to get to The Patriots and Liquid Ocelot did just that.  
_ Sunny shrugged and dropped her gaze. "That's fair I guess."  
  
She watched Ocelot's insubstantial legs step closer, slightly cooler than the background of the room they were in, fuzzy at the edges. For a moment he stood in front of her then he turned and sat beside her. She shifted away.  
_Still angry at me then?_  
Sunny thought about this for a time, then slowly answered. "No... I'm angry, but not at you. I'm angry at myself for not realising you hadn't changed—"  
_Sunny—_  
"Wait. I knew how much he meant to you, I had no real reason to believe that had changed. I know you are questioning what happened between the two of you, you really do seem pretty set on helping him now instead of, as you said, jumping at his command. I'm angry I didn't think that that's how you would react though, why I thought, hoped, that you'd just forget him. I’m angry that I allowed myself to be manipulated, you knew I wouldn’t be able to kill him myself."  
She finally turned to look at him. His head was bowed, gaze emptily directed at the floor, unseeing. His face seemed slack. He looked old and terribly tired.  
  
_None of that is your fault._ He said after a while. _Don’t blame yourself. I did manipulate you, because I trust you, because you’re a good person, who wouldn’t have let me put myself in this position if I’d been upfront about it. That doesn’t make it right though. Big Boss…_ _He changed so much._ _I didn’t like it even back then, but I was loyal, and... and I didn’t think to question it or try to alter his path._ He closed his eyes, holding back something, eventually he spoke again. _You’re better than that, better than me, you would try to stop me, try to make me make better choices._ He glanced at her, she was frowning. _I envy your uncle, for knowing what to do with Solid Snake when he went back to him, I will learn from that,_ _and you_ _, I will find help for John. There is no changing what's been done, but I believe there is still the chance that he can recover. He’ll never be the man I... He'll never be that soldier from Tselinoyarsk again, but I want him to have the same chance you gave me. He was aware_ _of it_ _, you know?  
_ "Aware?"  
_Yes, in Zanzibar, he was aware that something was wrong with him, that he'd lost something. He accepted it and disliked it, I think that's a good starting point. If I can persuade him that that's not the end of it all, that he can still change for the better.  
_ They sat in silence for a while, an awkward silence that stretched taught between them as they both considered Big Boss.  
"Oh," said Sunny suddenly.  
Ocelot looked up.  
"I lied," he actually appeared mildly alarmed. "I am still angry at you."  
_I--  
_ “But I still like you. For all you’re a complete arsehole, I think you do want things to work out.” He started to smile. “But!” She interjected before he could speak. “You have a crap record. So okay, it’s done, Big Boss is back and yes, I’ll concede, if he’s a conscious person in pain I do want to help him get better, and since he could be brought back I’m glad it was us doing it not someone else. I’m not happy with you, but if you do really want him to get better, I’ll help, but you have to listen to me.”  
_Of course!  
_ “Because you’re not exactly a paradigm of mental health yourself.”  
  
–-  
  
Sunny twisted on the edge of the metal framed bed she'd been given and stared out of the window. Out there the remains of the King Ray were being broken down and brought to the hidden base, what was salvageable would be reused, Holder was already on the phone to suppliers and manufacturers. They would need to spread the purchases wide, and Sunny didn't know what contacts they might have, but she doubted they would see the King Ray on its feet any time soon. The Wildcat was in the hangar, which seemed very large and empty around it, Sunny had been shown to here, her room that was blessedly private and unshared—someone here had foresight.  
  
"Hey Ocelot?"  
_Yes?_ He snapped back into focus from where he'd been fading away into his own thoughts.  
“Can I ask you to do something for me?”  
_Ask away.  
_ “If _…_ If y-you decide you’re going to leave me, then… I understand. These people are offering you and Big Boss everything. If you d-decide to leave though, just tell me? I don’t want to go back to BBR and wait for you... If you’re not coming back.”  
_Wait for me…?_  
“You know I will,” she looked away from the hangars. “If there is ever a chance that'll you come back, it’ll be at the back of my mind: maybe today… maybe tomorrow…? I just want something concrete. I won’t stop you from staying though, I don’t know what’s better for you in that case, staying… or not I mean.”  
_Then I promise. I promise that as soon as Snake is capable, we’ll make our way back to BBR._  
“Thank you... And good, because I’m probably not going to have a job there when you return and I want someone to put in a good word for me.”  
_You’re a good pilot, they’d be daft to get rid of you._  
“If nothing else they’re going to need a scapegoat for all this. I’m amazed I’m still a free woman.”  
_Wouldn’t be my first jailbreak._ He sniffed. _Make me your one phone call._  
“I’m not sure I can make direct to nanomachine calls via pay-phones. Ocelot when I go back, you know they’ll break the nano-link, don’t you?”  
_Well I did guess the distance would be too far for us to communicate anyway, but yes._  
“They won’t let me stay connected to you, certainly not if I lose my job… Maybe I should just do it myself...”  
_I won’t be long. A few months, maybe up to the end of the year._  
“A year, here? I... I don’t trust Ingwe.”  
_Nor me._  
“Stay safe?”  
_I always try to. Don’t laugh!  
  
You’re still here for a few days, correct?_  
“Why? Don’t want me to go?”  
_Not just yet._  
“Yeah I’m here until you’re clear of connections to the research centre, and… well I might clear my imprint on you myself, so the BBR technicians can’t follow it back to you. I’d like to oversee the modifications to your controls too.”  
_You can do that? Clear the imprint yourself?_  
“Yes. In fact you can initiate it, but you’d still need my biometrics and input to authenticate the wipe.”  
_If we do that, and you imprint again on my return, will it be like last time?_  
“I shouldn’t think so. Neither of us knew how to react, that’s all, we’ll be anticipating it next time.”  
_Good. Then I think I shall dread it less._  
Sunny flinched. "You dread seeing me again?"  
_No! No not that, I just don't ever want that avalanche of memories and thoughts again._  
"Yeah... There is a lot rattling around in that head of yours that I'd really rather never see again."  
_I can appreciate that._  
"Um.."  
_Mn?_  
"Since we're on the topic... I've been thinking on it for a while now, but I've decided not to tell Uncle Hal about what you did to his father."  
  
Ocelot sat up a little straighter, eyes widening and whiskers drooping.  
"Yeah I saw that too."  
_What part?_  
"Just... snap shots... He kept saying the same things over and over…"  
Ocelot visibly relaxed. _I am increasingly glad you're against the death sentence…_  
Sunny smiled weakly. "One day I'll stop feeling so detached from all this, and then you'll be in trouble."  
_Hey, you're changing my controls, at least I'll be able to run away from you when that day comes._  
"Do you feel any remorse at all?"  
_Remorse... Some, and some guilt, but not about Huey Emmerich, if that's what you're asking._  
"Really? But why not him?"  
_I'm not sure that's a story for tonight,_ _but I had my reasons.  
_ “I figured.” _  
__It took me a very long time to accept my feelings, longer still to stop resenting them and to learn how to manage them. I_ _practised_ _professionalism, cleanliness, alternatives, it made me feel better about myself if I did my work first and foremost. I don't need to be told that what I did, how I felt about it is... I know. No one has ever let me forget, least of all myself._  
"I'm sorry, I—"  
He reached out one blood red hand and made as if to brush her hair from her eyes in a reassuring gesture, for a moment it almost felt real.  
_If anyone has the right to voice their opinion of me, it's you, and I welcome it._  
"You d-do?"  
_Yes. As I did Eva's opinion, and Naomi's, and a few others'._  
"Why?" she drew her legs up onto the bed and hugged them.  
_It's good to remain grounded, or you end up like, er…_  
"Big Boss?"  
_I wasn't going to say that.  
  
_ "Ocelot, I'm going to go to sleep now, and if you wake me up any earlier than you need to tomorrow morning, I'm changing your roar to the most obnoxious ring tone I can find."  
_Understood. 0400 it is._  
"I'm definitely still angry at you."


	40. Gun Control

" _Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes_."

 

_I thought you were supposed to be working on me!_  
"You sound like a kid when you whine like that."  
He leant down as close to the computer bay as he could get. Sunny glanced up at him, then looked back to the computers. Internally Ocelot grimaced, she neither sounded nor looked like she was happy to see him. He was intruding.  
_You’ve been holed up in here for a while now, what are you working on?  
_ “What you want me to.” She said poignantly.  
_Ah. Is it giving you any trouble?_ He tried to sound friendly but she sighed and sat back.  
“No, not really.” She frowned. “Guess I’m just getting tired of staring at the screen.”  
_Take a break.  
_ Sunny looked towards the doors then back up at him. “No… I’m good.”  
_You’ve been a one woman army, Sunny. I know how hard you’ve been working, at least walk around the base, stretch your legs?_ She shook her head and he sighed. _Please Sunny, it’s not good for you to stay in here all day--  
“_ I’m not in here all day...”  
\-- _Avoiding everyone.  
_ “I’m not avoiding everyone.”  
_You’ve even been avoiding me._ She shot him a tired look. _Look, I get it. I don’t blame you for wanting space away from me, but you can’t shut out everyone.  
_ “I’m not!” She paused, taking a deep breath. “I’m working with Holder and West aren’t I? And the other technicians?”  
_Yes…  
_ “But I don’t see why I should have to have anything to do with anyone else.”  
_It’s good for your image.  
_ “I’m not even going to be here for long, why does it matter?”  
He growled. _I’ll rephrase, it’s good for you.  
_ “They kidnapped me!” She hissed.  
_Ingwe did, the others didn’t know what was going on.  
_ “So you think.”  
_Do you have any evidence to the contrary?  
_ “Well...”  
_Almost everyone I’ve spoken to has voiced their confusion over the whole incident.  
_ “Almost everyone…?”  
Ocelot made an indistinct noise. _Well some were less surprised, seems like Ingwe has her favourites, and they tend to be more in the know than the others.  
_ “Great. So some, unknown people around here are closer to Ingwe than the others? Ocelot this isn’t helping.”  
_I’m on top of it, you don’t think I’m spending all my time chatting about the weather do you?  
  
_ Sunny sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m just...”  
_I know, I don’t blame you--  
_ “Can we change the subject?”  
_… Okay. You’ve been up late at night, working on something special?  
_ “Ocelot...”  
_I’m sorry, did I misinterpret what you’ve been up to?  
_ This at least got an embarrassed laugh from her. “No! Just… Okay I didn’t say anything yet because I don’t know if it’ll even go anywhere, but yes I have been working on something. Do you want to see?”

Sunny's room was on the edge of the barracks, a half subterranean building set into the side of the mine. It was small, only as wide as her bed was long, plus about half a foot—just enough space to lose things down the end of the bed, not enough to really make use of. The blankets on the bed were itchy, the pillow too flat, but Sunny slept deeply each night. She'd jokingly accused Ocelot of messing with her head to make her sleep, but he pled innocence; she was just exhausting herself. A desk was against one free wall, a small trunk barely filled with her few possessions (plus some spare clothes she'd been furnished with on her second day) took up the other side. Sunny had to sidle through to get to her bed, but knowing it was impossible to get in here without making noise gave her comfort in the late evenings. In the evenings she'd wrap the itchy blanket about her shoulders and Ocelot would, for all intents and purposes, sit at her desk and update her on his progress. Ocelot was working hard to make up for his initial bad impression, but always had mixed stories of his day, of the responses he got from the people around him. He was more disturbed than he'd expected to be by the sight of the King Ray being put back together again beside him. Often Sunny wasn’t interested in telling him about her day, but he could guess how well it had gone by how hard it was to get answers from her.  
  
"What do you think?" Sunny spread out the schematics on the work bench. Ocelot squinted out through her eyes at her early sketches and delicate drawings.  
_These are impressive. You know my jaw structure very well._  
"Thank you, I like to know what I'm working with."  
_Am I looking at what I think I'm looking at?_  
"What do you think you're looking at?" she threw back.  
_Teeth. They're on a rail system?  
_ "The new Wildcats have more teeth, I saw some of the plans in the R&D department, and I've been thinking on it. These can be pivoted forwards." She brought forward one sheet that showed one of the two rails drawn back by hydraulic rams, the gently curving fangs were drawn backwards with it until the tips were pointing forwards. Another sheet replaced this one. "Then they move back to grab and hang onto whatever you've bitten down on to."  
_Doesn't sound too useful on metal?_  
"Not on a Metal Gear's armour no, but softer thinner metals wouldn't be a problem, even without piercing into the object they'd be additional grips. They’re not particularly strong, but then they’re not supposed to be, they’re just… Help.”  
_Many Metal Gear have soft spots._  
"Now you're thinking," she nodded. "Increased flexibility has made you more vulnerable. You as in—"  
_Metal Gear._  
"Yes."  
_You know, I like this._ Ocelot flickered into existence beside her, he ran his tongue over his slightly off kilter teeth.  
"I'm passing the details onto West and Holder. West likes the idea, and believes it'll give you an upper hand against others of your type, which is his biggest concern right now. Holder... Doesn't like anyone but him coming up with mods." She rolled her eyes.  
  
_I've been meaning to ask_ _Holder_ _about the new Wildcats…  
_ "It was a mistake, you were supposed to leave and come here so soon and with such drama that the Wildcat program would be cancelled, instead you proved to be a rousing success. No one wants an MB-AI but the chassis is popular."  
_And the mass produced models, they're made using my data? To surpass me?_  
"Of course."  
_Of course. Well hopefully we won't be facing one of them any time soon._  
"Famous last words." Sunny shook her head. "I'll take it a step further though, I hope we can avoid any fighting."  
_Now that's just plain unlikely. What about Snake, how's he doing?  
_  
"Why don't you go see yourself?"  
_He's awake?_  
"You don't know?" She asked sweetly.  
_Sunny…_  
"He's was brought back online this morning just after you left the hangar," she smiled. "He's running normally, for a given value." She rubbed her eyes. "Simplest way to put it he was restricted from accessing his memories normally and they weren't cycling correctly. It's like you thought, he kept just getting stuck and re-living things. Although there’s more to it than that, if you want the full explanation?"  
_I d_ _o_ _._ _Can that happen again?_  
"Maybe. You did good breaking him out of the broken memories, now he's consciously creating new ones, and not accessing the old ones. Well... He's been trying to. I've let him know he can't be deliberately trying to access them right now, he could get stuck again."  
_But he remembers things all the time?_  
Sunny wobbled her head, looking for a way to explain things. "Accessing the memory banks in recollection is different to accessing them for reliving. Kind of."  
_Oh._  
"I mean you can open a specific file and see it all clear as day right?"  
_Right._  
"But you don't remember everything that way, or you'd spend all your time reliving, not just remembering things."  
_Yes, I’_ _m_ _with you. Well, he should listen, he understands you're the more knowledgeable_ _of the three of us_ _.  
_ "I hope so.”  
  
“His computer systems were compromised by the damage he took. I've had to disconnect some LRUs, weapons systems mostly 'cos they were the ones easiest to access. I repurposed some slots to take off the load, corrosion had damaged part of his core..." Sunny trailed off then, slowly and giving Ocelot a worried glance: "Ocelot, he needs his entire computer system replaced, it'll do for now but this isn't a long term solution." She shook her head. "There are parts we've had to take from REX, and he's going to burn them out sooner or later." Ocelot's brows knotted. "I've ah... I've given instructions that he's to be shut down during the hottest part of the day. That should help with the heating problems right now at least, and it'll reset his memory bank access when he's rebooted, so even if he's getting himself into trouble, that should snap him out of it, but it will mean he may have some short term memory loss any time he’s rebooted, so be patient. And ah… Don't over stimulate him if you want him to survive."  
_Since when have I ever over stimu_ _—_ _yes Sunny._  
"Personally I don't care either way, but I do still have my pride in my work, and I'd rather it didn't go to waste." She hesitated. "I didn't mean that."  
_I know._  
"Um..." She rubbed her temples. "I-Ideally I'd have the King Ray backed up, the computers scrapped and have an entirely new instillation set up, but that's simply not an option here and now. It will have to be done eventually however."  
_So what are you going to do?_  
Sunny closed her eyes tightly. "Focus on you, and do what I can for him."  
Ocelot seemed to think about that for a while before accepting this. _I trust your judgement._ _So? What’s the full explanation?  
  
_ Sunny rotated her shoulders and sat back, thinking. Then picked up her small notebook from the table and drew a circle in it.  
“Your core.” She said, and drew another, smaller circle inside of it. “Your core memory banks. You know the basic principle right? They’re Read Only files that act as a short cut, an entire life time of experiences that allow the new AI to learn long before it’s out there experiencing things for itself. They’re starting to use old Metal Gear memory banks now in some experimental RAY to replicate the good effects of MB-AIs without the bad parts, but it’s all early days right now. Someone like you would have been an ideal candidate for an MB-AI if they’d been able to fix the Resurrection problem: a career soldier with Metal Gear experience. AIs can learn from less obvious things too though, even a Florist might be a perfectly good candidate for the right machine. Your Memory Bank is slightly different, I was able to alter individual files to connect to you as a person very early on.”  
_Yes. Now no matter what I do part of me is convinced you’re a childhood friend. You really are looking good for your age.  
_ She shook her head. “I should have anticipated having to leave you alone, I don’t think I have time now to find a way to fix that, and I’m not even sure what the ramifications might be at this point.”  
_Someone could still get inside my head and change my memories?  
“_ I think so, yes.”  
_All the more reason to keep people at arms length.  
_ “Please do.”  
  
“So… Normally, and this is true for Big Boss, these memories are just there for reference material. The AI can always draw from them, but in its… Formative years it’s very important.” She drew four parallel lines across the page, attached to the side of the outer circle and labelled the top one. “This is the AI, at first it’s no different from a synthetic AI, it learns from its experiences in real time, but it also has the Memory Banks.”  
_Instant life experience.  
_ “Not instant, but close enough.”  
_The Memory Banks releasing information so quickly result in the personality developing,_ _and_ _it_ _expect_ _s_ _a human body, right? That’s why Snake and I still think of ourselves as human.  
“_ Yes, all the experiences are from a human’s point of view, the AI doesn’t know that that’s not representative of its own body until it’s too late.”  
_Don’t synthetic AIs develop the same way?  
_ “Once I would have said ‘no’, but that I didn’t know why, but I’m starting to think that’s not true. I suspect that synthetics could develop personalities, but their AIs just don’t grow at the same rate or in the same direction as humans. An MB-AI has an entire human-lifetime of experiences fed into it in a very short time span, in your case nearly 70 years compacted down, until your personality could be reconstructed in a few weeks. No synthetic Metal Gear in existence has 70 years of experience—”  
_No, but I didn’t only become a conscious human being with a personality of my own at 70.  
_ “Of course not, but even Metal Gear develop quirks after a few years. They’re not built to be independent souls, they’re not supposed to leave the nest and make their own way in the world like humans, or any other animal for that matter, I don’t know how that would effect them, but it must do, right?”  
_I should think so. So synthetic AIs are developing in the same way a_ _s a_ _Resurrected MB-AI, just much much slower.  
_ “Normal Metal Gear could very well become individuals with some level of consciousness given enough time and space, and it would be entirely within their own comfort zone. If I’m right about this. They never expect to be anything other than what they are. Which is probably why even old Metal Gear don’t suddenly start talking, that’s just not how they’d communicate. If they’re even given the chance to develop that far.”  
  
Sunny tapped the drawing again. The bottom most section she’d drawn. “This bit is… Current experiences and inputs. The things you experience now, that you react to and develop new memories from, all the stuff that exists outside of you. And this bit in the middle is visual processing effectively, it’s the part of your brain that interprets what you’re sensing. An AI can build up images from it, maps, battle plans, you name it. That’s where the big difference between you and Big Boss comes in.”  
_What do you mean?_ _What big difference?_ _  
_ Sunny bit her lip. “The thing is, and I didn’t notice this at first because you were a prototype and I’d never worked with an MB-AI before, I had no reason to think it wasn’t normal, but after working with Big Boss I realised you had something he didn’t. West confirmed this.” She thickened the line on her drawing, between the AI and the VR. “You have a… Well it’s like a room.”  
_Room…?  
_ “You have two separate VR systems, the one that processes external information and turns it into something you can use, and the one that processes internal information. It’s dedicated to running _your_ VR: the one you come up with, it’s where you ‘live’ inside your own mind, like a safe room for the conscious part of your AI.”  
_What’s the point?  
_ “Well that’s the thing, if that’s how you’re developing and holding an image of yourself, and the internal world you live in; the thing that allows you to maintain your sense of humanity and remain stable. Then what’s Big Boss doing if he doesn’t have that? So I looked into what processes are under high demand while he’s locked away inside his own head, and unsurprisingly he’s depending mostly on his normal VR systems, the part of his brain that should be dedicated to visualising the outside world.”  
_Are you saying that by being conscious, he’_ _s making himself a prisoner by stopping himself from accessing the real world?_ _  
_ “Not exactly. Nothing is physically stopping him from accessing the real world, but he can’t see outside as long as he wants to remain stable.”  
  
“For you, it’s like standing inside a room, and looking out of a window and seeing the outside world. The outside world, reality, exists for you, you can even interact with it in many ways, the window is the Wildcat itself and you know you exist as a person within that room—the room being your VR. When you look out of the window, the room is still there, you can see it, but you can also see the outside world. But when Big Boss looks out the window, the room stops existing. He stops existing, he is the window.”  
_So, he becomes the King Ray? And can’t handle it?_ _Why?_ _  
_ “The the King Ray is a machine with eleven limbs, a mouth that splits into three sections, and has cameras and various other sensory devices mounted all over it. It doesn’t have just two eyes and two legs and arms, or lungs, or a heart or any of the things a human brain is expecting to encounter. You create those things within your own reality, while experiencing the real world. Big Boss can’t do that, he has to deny the existence of the King Ray and everything outside of it just to stay sane. He was probably awake for a short while back at BBR, maybe only a few seconds, it wouldn’t have taken long. He woke up, looked out, engaged with the King Ray and immediately recoiled to the closest thing to him that was human: his own Memory Banks.”  
  
She rubbed her eyes. “There’s no… Space between him and the King Ray. For you the Wildcat is like a suit, something you control, you can feel the world through it, but it’s not you, there’s that gap between your fingers and the fingers of the suit, a space between your eyes and the visor. There’s no gap for him, no sense of normality or humanity.”  
_So he went straight back to his own memories, looking for the last time he felt human, and found Zanzibar?  
_ “Exactly, I think that memory was so traumatic that the only thing he could do then was cycle through memories directly related to that one, things he was thinking about when that memory was formed, or that had been tagged as relevant when the AI was developing.”  
_He couldn’t look away.  
“_ When you interfered he was dragged out of those memories, or maybe he managed to climb out himself earlier, I’m not sure. He created the virtual world you saw, the flimsy one that breaks down the moment he tries to engage with the real world, and that kept overlapping with old memories. You were right to stay around long enough to help him remember something new, to get him out of that loop.”  
  
_I am very glad now that I didn’t try to help him connect with the King Ray.  
_ “Yeah… I think… That’s why he killed his pilots. He wasn’t trying to, but the King Ray was being controlled, it had inputs—right now its cameras are broken, its sensors are mostly down, and I’ve shut down the ones that weren’t just in case—even if Big Boss was hiding inside his own head and the King Ray was being completely manually controlled, his VR would have been getting outside information coming through all the time. The pilots he killed might very well have felt like... Enemy soldiers infiltrating his home to, and he defended himself.”  
_Can you fix this?  
_ “West is working on creating a haven for him, a room that won’t vanish on him the moment he looks out of the window, somewhere his human mind can exist. But it won’t ever be as… Inherent a part of his mind as it is with yours, I think he’d be safe for the most part, but I would still like to see his system rebuilt from the ground up.”  
_And all his memories of you and I? Of what’s been happening here?  
_ “We can carry those over, that’s not a problem.”  
_Good. My word Sunny, I knew I was right putting this in your hands.  
_ She shook her head. “West let me in on most of this, he was the one behind your VR as well as your AI, though he was interested in seeing it in practice. The concept came from that Chinese AI they stole. So. Seems like this is the big difference between you and all the MB-AIs that came before you.” _  
__How long before we can start to teach him how to interact with the King Ray?  
_ “Probably not long now. We already have the software in you, it’s just a matter of adapting and installing it into the King Ray, once that’s done and we know his AI is implementing it and not the normal visualisation systems we can give it a try.”  
  
\---  
  
_Ocelot._  
_Snake_. The Wildcat indelicately rolled onto its side beside the shambles of the King Ray, Ocelot waited for Sunny to catch up to him in the hangar and tell him off for sitting inappropriately. _How's progress?_  
_I can't see._ Snake said.  
_Soon you will. How do you feel?_  
_I didn't realise how fogged my thoughts were before._ _Something new has been installed, now I feel… I don’t know… More secure. The ground feels more solid._ _  
__Good._ _Sunny has been_ _keeping me up to date, I’m glad it feels better, it should be better too._ _  
She's very skilled.  
__She loves the work._ _She doesn't like yo_ _u much though._ _  
I realised that._ Snake laughed humourlessly. _She doesn't seem to particularly like many people around here._  
_She has her reasons. Also s_ _he's angry at me, and taking it out on everyone else.  
Why?  
__It’s easier that way._  
Snake grunted. _She’_ _s_ _been trying to teach me how to work this... machine..._ _today_ _but... She said I should be able to see, everything's working correctly, but I still can't.  
_ Ocelot tilted his head. _It's difficult from the outside in,_ _particularly if you’ve not done it before_ _. Leave it to me.  
  
–-  
  
_ Snake flinched away from the hands clapping down on his shoulders, Ocelot beamed at him when he turned around. "I thought you'd know I was there."  
Snake snorted. "You're... younger?"  
Ocelot primly tugged his uniform straight. "Thought you might prefer this?"  
"Prefer this?"  
"You liked me more when I was younger."  
"Liked you more? Don't be ridiculous I barely knew you then."  
Ocelot's eyes narrowed then he shook his head. "Anyway, I'm not here for that."  
"That?"  
Snake watched placidly as Ocelot started to walk around behind him, Snake allowed it but waited tensely for whatever it was Ocelot intended to do.  
  
"I've never had to do this with anyone before." Ocelot muttered to himself, looping his arms around Snake and taking hold of his wrists, he dropped his head until his forehead rested against the back of Snake' head.  
"This seems contrived Ocelot."  
He sniffed. "Close your eyes, fewer distractions."  
Snake sighed and patiently did as he was asked. He hiccuped. He felt like Ocelot had yanked him backwards, there was nothing under his feet, even the air itself seemed absent, all he could feel was Ocelot's hard grip around his wrists, and the reassuring light pressure at the back of his head.  
  
"Can you follow this?" he heard Ocelot say. His voice by his ears, and as if from a distance all at once. "It feels like static off an old—a TV screen." Snake frowned and mentally scanned for what Ocelot was talking about, he found it and almost as soon as he did the world shifted. Snake' stomach flipped, he gasped and threw himself back into his virtual reality and tore away from Ocelot who threw his arms out in disgust.  
"What do you think I'm going to do?" He snapped.  
"To me? Just about anything." He smirked at the flexing muscles in Ocelot's jaw. "It startled me. Can we try again?"  
"Yes."  
"And the whole, leaning on me...?"  
"It was helping me keep track of what you were doing, and I could point you in the right direction." He averted his gaze. "It's a placebo, my brain isn't human but my mind is and it helps, but I'll stop if you—."  
"How do you know this stuff?"  
"I've been doing it longer than you."  
"You always were quick," Snake muttered, stepping back up to him and holding out his hands, Ocelot seemed to stare at them for longer than necessary before taking hold of his wrists again, this time facing him. Snake turned his arms and took hold of Ocelot’s wrists.  
  
His mumbling voice cut into Ocelot's thoughts. "You're tense?"  
"It's been... a long time..." He muttered.  
"Yes."  
"You haven't changed."  
"No?"  
"...I have." He cleared his throat and closed his eyes, shutting out Snake' frown. This time he felt Snake take the lead, until he reached unknown waters.  
"Ocelot..." he groped around sightlessly, until Ocelot, who he couldn't see but could identify in the world of impulses, pushed him in the right direction.  
"Try and remember what this feels like, it'll become instinctive after a while but until then you'll need to make an effort, feel that?"  
"Like a bee stuck behind my eyepatch?"  
Ocelot giggled. "Maybe, I'm not sure, feels like itchy eyes to me. Luckily for the likes of us, translating the Metal Gear's systems into something we can understand seems to be partially subconscious... Or maybe programmed in on another level? I'm not sure... Remind me to ask Sunny? She knows these things, I'm just making this all up as I go along."  
"Huh…"  
"Working?"  
"I know this place."  
"Yes."  
"Never thought I'd be back here again... Uhn, this is... Going to take some getting used t—Is that you?"  
Ocelot's presence by his side vanished.  
  
The Wildcat rolled back onto its feet and shook the dirt off, walking around in front of the King Ray so it wasn't straining to see. The King Ray's huge head had limited mobility in its current state, but it still turned slowly to take in the smaller Metal Gear.  
_Yes, this is me now._  
_Things have come a long way since Metal Gear D..._ The big head swayed slowly to side to side, taking in the objects around it, tool boxes, a forklift, gantries. _You're not just small, are you?  
No, you're pretty big, Boss. _ He laughed at his own joke.  
  
Snake watched as the Wildcat turned smoothly and took long strides to swoop around behind Sunny as she entered the hangar and beat her back to the King Ray. Sunny casually ignored him.  
"So, you can see now?" Sunny asked when she got to the King Ray's feet. "What do you think?"  
The King Ray's beak opened to reveal its terrifying maw and it wailed, the Wildcat shook its head.  
_Not like that, I'll show you how to speak later._  
He sighed. _This is... Going to take some getting used to._  
_He says—_  
Sunny smiled. "It's okay, we have a communication link open, I can hear him."  
_Huh._  
She craned her neck to look back up at the King Ray. "I think you'll manage just fine—" She started, and then Ocelot nudged Sunny in the back.  
"Hey!" she lurched forwards. "What was that for?"  
"Nothing in particular." _Ingwe's coming.  
  
_ Sunny peered around the Wildcat's jaws to see the woman approaching with her good eye narrowed.  
_Want me to distract her?_  
"Lets see what she wants."  
Snake, privy to only one half of this exchange remained silent.  
  
"Miss Gurlukovich-Emmerich, Shalashaska," she looked up at Snake, appearing, for the first time since Sunny had first seen her, legitimately glad to see someone. "Saladin! You're conscious? That's good to see!" She greeted, then shot the other two a withering look. "No one told me you were making such progress."  
The Wildcat's lamps flashed. "I can't fit through the door to your office," he replied and Sunny ground her teeth trying not to smile. Nerves made amusement come easily. Snake watched her small figure duck closer to the Wildcat's claws and away from the other woman.  
  
"Miss Sunny!" A voice interrupted and they looked around to see the young man who'd scared Sunny by the lake. He was walking with another man, slightly older, that Snake didn't recognise, they were waving. "We're going to the shooting range! Want to join us!?"  
"Er…"  
_With him, is that...?_  
"Yeah... That's Bran."  
_Well, why not go? I'll come with you._  
"They're just trying to show off." She hissed.  
_You say that like it's a crime, can you shoot?_  
"Uncle Snake taught me how to handle a gun to keep me safe in the Nomad, that's about it I guess…"  
_Perfect opportunity to learn then, go on._  
"But—"  
Ocelot reared back his head and replied for her. "We'll come along, these two want to catch up anyway."  
"Brilliant!" The younger of the two called.  
Bran just raised his hand in uncomfortable acknowledgement.  
_Ocelot—_ Snake started, but was interrupted.  
_Find out what you can. We don't trust her, and neither should you.  
Understood.  
  
_ "So. 'Crow' is it?" Sunny asked as they trudged towards the shooting range.  
Bran, or Crow, looked uncomfortably at his boots. "Savage Crow." He mumbled. "But no one calls me that."  
"And are you?"  
"Huh?"  
"Savage?"  
"Um... I don't think so."  
The younger man laughed. "Crow's a push over, but he's good teacher."  
Sunny gave Crow a sideways look. "Yes, he is."  
"I'm sorry about all that, Sunny. It was all a bit of a surprise to me too. If it changes anything, you were a good student and I don't think Shalashaska and I would have worked half as well together."  
"Yeah well... and I guess it wasn't you who got in the way. You were supposed to bring him back here then?"  
Crow nodded. "When you got involved no one really knew what to do."  
Chat, Crow's younger brother, piped up: "Then they had this idea to get Shalashaska to come to us." He dropped his tones. "He really worried a lot of the other guys, no one is sure he can be trusted now, but we don't get why they hurt you?"  
"Me n-neither…"  
"Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. Ow!" Chat rubbed his arm where Crow had hit it. "Anyway, I get why he was so pissed off, and he didn’t know us from the next guy pointing a gun at him."  
  
"I thought you said you hadn't shot before?"  
Sunny smiled up at Crow. "Well, not properly, not like this."  
"Grouping needs some work," Ocelot grumbled, twitching his tail and nearly taking out a radio mast on the building behind them.  
Crow squinted up at him against the sun. "What's your aim like, sir?"  
"Impeccable," Ocelot purred.  
"He has a very good targeting computer." Sunny added.  
"And years of training!" he argued. "Which is more than you've got."  
"Oh no," Sunny looked horrified and the two men looked around sharply for the source of her distress. "He knows... I'm not going to waste my whole life trying to be a cowboy!"  
Ocelot leant down until he was only a few feet from her. "...I'm unimpressed, if you couldn't tell."  
Crow scratched his nose. "Actually, sir, you always kind of look a bit unimpressed."  
"It's dealing with her all the time that does it."  
  
Sunny shook her head and turned to the next target, idly pretending she was aiming at Ocelot's smug face, when a crisp voice said: "Very promising."  
There was a swishing sound and even without turning Sunny felt Ocelot bristle and become excited.  
"How about a challenge, something a little more... Primitive?" Sunny looked up from the sights and let the modern pistol down. She steeled herself before looking around at the face of the woman who'd ordered her interrogation, knowing what she was going to see. Ingwe stood with one scarred hand in her pocket and the other held out, as Sunny turned to look the spinning revolver snapped still in her grasp.  
_I bet that's all she can do with it._ Ocelot scoffed for Sunny's benefit. Sunny doubted that was true.  
  
Ingwe offered the gun and Sunny took it as confidently as she could. It was old and heavy in a way she wasn't used to. _Ocelot I've never_ _even held_ _anything like this.  
Never?  
Snake didn't like revolvers, he never had any. This is a lot heavier than __anything_ _I'_ _ve_ _used..._ But she turned away from Ingwe as if she knew what she was doing.  
_Do you trust me to do this, Sunny?  
You?_ She felt pressure on the back of her hand and skull and nodded. _G-go on then.  
  
_ The strangest feeling of being a spectator in her own body took hold of her. It was very very rare they did this, and usually only when he got completely fed up with her cooking abilities. Sunny could technically override Ocelot's control over the Wildcat at almost any time, Ocelot could elbow his way into controlling her—although he doubted he could maintain control for long—out of politeness and respect for their working relationship, neither of them took advantage of this ability. Right now however, Sunny was glad to hand control over to him. Ocelot's experience had her check the gun for ammunition, they had 4 shots. He readied the weapon, supporting it with her left hand so it didn't shake. He took aim and rapidly fired at the target. The first two shots were tight to the centre, then he remembered this was supposed to be Sunny shooting and he deliberately miss-aimed, the other shots went wide. The gun clicked, empty, and Ocelot span it carelessly. Pain shot up through Sunny's fingers and he let her go, she dropped her hand from the sudden weight. Her fingers were aching from the weight of the trigger and sore from the spinning.  
  
Crow and Chat blinked at her in surprise. Ingwe glanced up at the quiet Metal Gear and narrowed her eyes before looking back at Sunny.  
"Very good." She said bitterly and retrieved the gun from her. Sunny stared at the sore red spots on her fingers. She started shaking. Sunny closed her eyes and felt the cool bulk of the Wildcat's claw nudge up against her back, supporting her.


	41. Betrayed

" _The healthy man does not torture others_ _—_ _generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers._ "

\--

Carl Jung

 

They were on the lip of the mine, the scuff marks and indents in the earth, disturbed and flattened plant life showed how commonly they visited this one spot overlooking the base. Today, Sunny was having lunch up there. The mine swept away below them, a corridor of disguised buildings lined the flat space at the bottom. The King Ray was barely visible from this angle, but the various crates and pallets holding the Arsenal Gear's salvaged components and recently arrived replacements were poorly disguised and still, for the most part, out in the open. Reconstruction had gotten underway in earnest, but there was still a long way to go, not least because neither of its massive legs could be saved and finding replacements was proving difficult. It wasn't, Holder had explained, that they couldn't order the components to be made, it was that they weren't sure what all the components were, and now without West in position at BBR, they had no one in place to get a hold of the original plans. He'd given Sunny a pointed look when he'd explained this, as if it had been her fault that West had been compromised. Holder and Sunny usually got along fairly well, but his moods were changeable and heavily influenced by Ingwe's temper. Sunny and Ocelot both took Holder's attitude with a pinch of salt. He was at least reliable with his work.  
  
Since the strange incident at the shooting range Ingwe herself had retreated to her workshops and rarely showed herself around either Sunny or Ocelot. She communicated mainly through Holder. Big Boss was the exception that drew her out of her rooms. He claimed to have spoken to her on more than one occasion, and that she was taking a leading role in his reconstruction. Sunny was not sad to rarely see her, and if Ocelot was, he didn't show it. Not making a regular appearance didn't stop Ingwe making an impact however, and ever since the incident at the shooting range, Sunny had begun to wake up in the night again. Often just before dawn, always in a cold sweat, she'd wake up with a strangled yell from her nightmares. Sometimes they were very clear; she'd be back in the cell, alone and hopeless, watching the tall woman striding away and leaving her with those soldiers as they bore down on her and she was forced to relive it, hours crammed into minutes of sleep. Other nights it was abstract fear, formless panic, running, the sense that something was about to come down on her shoulders at any moment. The worst ones always involved Ocelot. As the day that she would erase her imprint on his system came ever closer, the nightmares became more numerous. Sometimes he replaced Ingwe in the cell. Sometimes he was there instead of the soldiers. She'd woken up just as the Wildcat's jaws snapped closed around her, or his claws had come swiping down on her. She'd been asking him not to leave, and he'd look at her as if he didn't even know who she was, in some she'd finally understood why they called him 'Revolver'.  
  
Those were the worst ones, the ones with him, they weren't in the past yet, they could still happen.  
  
When she woke up he'd immediately appear and try to bring her down back to reality. On those nights where he was the nightmare, his appearance usually just made things worse and he'd have to back off again. He was never confused, and never hurt. Sunny was tired, she'd given up trying to get back to sleep and was usually the first one up in the morning. She worked hard most of the day, then fell asleep early, hoping that tonight she'd sleep through. Every day that crawled past Ocelot grew more frustrated, he did what he could to keep Sunny's nightmares at bay, and to talk them through with her when she woke up. More and more she was pushing him away now, it was making it harder to do anything and no amount of understanding why it was happening was going to help.  
  
Ocelot's own mood was not helping Sunny in the slightest. Between the bursts of stress and confusion that signified Ingwe's presence in the hangars, to the simmering anger that hid under the surface as he greeted her from her nightmares. Sunny grew increasingly nervous of his perpetual bad mood, more so that he so rarely showed it. To the outside world he was courteous, warm and smooth as melted chocolate. The troops, who were not privy to the things Sunny was being exposed to, were rapidly coming around to him, his presence on the base and his input on how things were being run. Since Ingwe didn't seem to care if he started to influence things, Ocelot was spending his free time correcting things that didn't please him and his way of running things. It kept him occupied, distracted from his bad temper and gave Sunny some much needed breathing room, so she left him to amuse himself.  
  
Sunny was angry. She was not exactly angry at Ocelot any more, she was far from forgiving him, but it was hard to remain actively angry at him. He was simply a difficult man to be angry at. He had a way of not taking your anger at him seriously, on the face of it, that was not infuriating but simply undermining. His smile was too cheeky, his gaze suddenly softening and becoming harmless. He teased and spoke gently and could bring anyone out of annoyance and back into mirth. Almost anyone, Big Boss seemed immune, but then maybe he didn't understand the concept of mirth any longer, Ingwe too resisted his charms. It was more than just his manner, or his half-hearted attempts in manipulating her, which were so transparent it only helped break down her resolve, if only because it should have been so easy to resist. Sunny listened to him talk about Big Boss, Snake, and heard the regret in his voice, and the ideas he had, and the hope and loyalty that just never seemed to falter, and she really wanted to believe that he wanted to make a difference this time. Sometimes she even spoke to Big Boss himself, and was surprised to find that, just like Ocelot, he was human under all the legends. He was angry and bitter and so very hurt and damaged, but he was human and alive and if there was a chance he could heal, even a bit, she didn't have it in her to reject him. Ocelot knew that too well.  
  
What made Sunny angry was that they'd ended up here in the first place. She lay awake in the dark and thought of Big Boss, doing what he really did believe was best for his men, and hurting so many people by following through. She thought of Ocelot who could, when he wanted to be, be so understanding and gentle, who was an accomplished instructor, a willing supporter of the on site medics and apparently even stressed the rights of prisoners to his new soldiers. Ocelot who had also broken hundreds of men and killed more than she cared to think about. She thought about how Big Boss had been let down by those he trusted to help him, how there had been no safety net when he fell. How Ocelot had been shaped since the day he was born to look to someone else for orders, for purpose, and probably couldn't let Big Boss go even if he wanted to, even as they dragged each other down. They made her angry for what they'd done, to others, and now to her, but mostly she was angry at the events and actions that had turned them into the men they were. Sunny was also scared, deeply and terribly scared and had been since the day on the edge of lake, when Ocelot had betrayed her for Big Boss.  
  
Sunny nibbled what was left of her crusts and tried to relax to the presence of the Metal Gear looming over her. It wasn't working. Ocelot hadn't spoken much, he'd brought her up here without saying a word, and had barely spoken at all upon reaching the top of the hill. His anger seemed to have subsided today, but there was something else there, and it was getting on her nerves.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" She finally asked, her voice sounded alien in the otherwise quiet setting. It took a few moments but finally Ocelot answered.  
_Do you really want me to come back?_  
The question surprised her and she looked up. "What do you mean?"  
_The plan was that I'd get Snake back on his feet, we'd return to BBR and find you. The King Ray would be a peace offering to the company, and no doubt some people would be interested in finding out about this place.  
_ "You'd sell them out?"  
_Is this what you really want though? You could go back, tell them the story of how I forced you to obey. Snake and I could stay here, start a new life and leave you alone.  
_ "I thought you wanted to keep him away from people like this?"  
_I do, but there may be alternative options to leaving.  
_ Sunny sighed through her nose. "I really wish you'd just tell me what you intend to do. I don't... care any more, I just want to know if you have any real intention of coming back. I don't expect you to, you know?"  
_You don't?  
_ "Of course not, why would you when you have a group of people here, literally waiting to become your army?"  
_I don't trust them_. He said slowly. _Not yet anyway, there's still too much I don't understand.  
_ "So what's all this about?"  
_I want your input. I know you're not happy, you've not been right with me for a while now. I owe you my life, Snake's too, and my freedom. You've been a valuable ally and I wish to repay that now. Do you want Snake and I to remain out of your life, or to return to the base?  
_ "A valuable ally, huh?"  
_And a good friend.  
  
_ Sunny remained silent for a long time, Ocelot did not press for an answer. Finally, as they were about to head back down to the hidden base Sunny spoke up.  
"I'm not sure. I want... I want to just know if I can... What we..." She closed her eyes and took a deep steadying breath. "I'm scared this is all another trick, I'm... I'm scared of you. In a way I never was before, but s-should have been, I know that now."  
Ocelot flickered into view in front of her and she flinched. His sad eyes searched her face for a moment, or seemed to, she could feel him looking for something hidden, left unspoken. There was a moment of intense regret, but it wasn't hers, images of footprints, in sand, in snow, faded, splattered with blood. Loss haunted the images, they tasted bitter. Sunny hung her head. The images were snatched back a fraction of a second later.  
"I d-don't know what to d-do."  
_I'll come back, on my own if I have to, you have until then to make your choice. Staying on this path with Snake and I will be dangerous, so whatever happens staying with us, or not, it has to be your decision. If you want me to leave, you've more than earned the right to turn me away, my dear and I will respect that.  
_ "But... You will come back first?"  
_Yes._  
"You promise?"  
He smiled and nodded. _Yes, I promise. In fact, I'll get an estimated completion date for the King Ray, I'll give you a date to expect me by.  
_ "Okay then. I'll give you my decision then." If you really show up.  
  
\---  
  
"Saladin, are you well?"  
A head the size of a ship shifted, tilting down. New cameras behind new clear shields focused down on Ingwe. She smiled warmly up at the King Ray as she got his attention. Big Boss' voice rumbled through the speakers that had been hooked up to his computers and sat in a part-circle around Ingwe's feet.  
"How are things progressing?"  
"Good, sir! The rewiring is on track, keeping up with the mechanical repairs nicely. I apologise for the amount of time you've had to spend shut down, but the good news is most of the structural components ahead of station 54 can be salvaged, or repaired. As you're aware, those are the sections hardest for us to replace." Big Boss was not aware, but he nodded silently as if he was. "The greatest hold up will be your legs and tail. We're fortunate, here we have the tools not to just repair but manufacture a num—"  
"I know. I know where I am. I'd hoped never to return."  
"Soon you'll be able to walk away under your own power."  
"I'm stuck like this then, as this... Machine."  
"For now, Saladin, for now. I have plans to find you something more... Flexible. For now the King Ray suits you well sir."  
"Suits you, do you mean?"  
She smiled. "Suits us. We want to rebuild Outer Heaven with you, one unthreatened by Solid Snake, or traitors. Where we can be free."  
He hummed thoughtfully. "Ocelot is with us on this?"  
Ingwe's cheek twitched. "I believe so."  
"I was under the impression he wanted to keep me away from combat."  
"Well yes, he is... Concerned for your well being." Big Boss missed the irony in her tone. "But you do not need to be involved in such things, not until you are fully recovered."  
"Fully recovered, eh?”  
  
“What about that young woman, Gurlukovich’s granddaughter?"  
"She will be leaving us soon, though I believe Shalashaska intends to follow her in time."  
"With me?"  
"I don't believe so."  
"Huh."  
"Shalashaska will do whatever you say." She waved her hand dismissively. "Tell him to stay and he will."  
"I don't think he'll listen to what I have to say."  
She laughed. "He is an opportunist! What opportunities does he have if he returns? He only entertains going back because of the girl. Make it clear you are in command and he'll come to heel."  
"You really believe that?"  
"Shalashaska won't be a problem, he'll come when you call whether he likes it or not, as he always has. Even if he wanted to leave you he couldn't, the facility he came from will be after his hide for escaping them, he wouldn't dare go near them if it wasn't for Sunny disconnecting him from their systems. He will have no choice but to return here sooner or later, with or without her. Besides," she smiled wider. "He needs you, only Sunny has been gullible enough to follow him, and he barely controls her, he needs you, your charisma. Otselotovaya Khvatka might bear his name, but he's a poor commander."  
"Ocelot? A poor leader." He said flatly.  
"People follow you, Saladin. You inspire them, give them a purpose, a home, a leader to look up to and trust. Shalashaska does none of these things."  
"That's not the man I know." he muttered.  
"No one really trusts an interrogator, let alone a torturer, and that's his legacy. I remember the things the adults said in Zanzibar when I was just a child, and things have gotten a lot worse for him since then. He's a sadist, plays favourites, protects traitors and spies." The King Ray's head raised slightly as Big Boss recoiled. "Shalashaska is good for nothing but wet works, for staying in the dark, out of the way. People will follow you but they have no time for him, a torturer and nothing more."  
"He was an interrogator... We remember things differently..." He muttered, looking away.  
"Unfortunately sir your memory banks are still flawed, until we—"  
"If I can't trust my own mind, whose can I trust?"  
"You can depend on me, sir."  
  
"Anyway, sir; construction of your new legs will begin in the next day or so, I will report to you on the progress tomorrow."  
"Ingwe."  
"Sir?" She looked up at him mildly.  
"What do you think I should do with Shalashaska?"  
"Use him." Ingwe straightened her coat with an odd strangled laugh. "Consider him a gift."  
"A gift?"  
"From us to you. Shalashaska is of use as a weapon, not a commander or a soldier, make use of him."  
"Huh. That's blunt."  
"I'm not here to mince words, sir."  
"Why are you here?"  
"Because Zanzibar Land was my home, I believed in it, I still do. The world should be in shambles after Liquid Ocelot's actions, instead we've been left with an unstable alliance of nations, battered on all sides by small confused countries hoping to gain ground and power. Sound familiar?" She gestured about herself. "The world is full of potential, sir. Pick a country, show your power, they will fall in line as easily now as they did back then. You have an army of soldiers, you don't need to build a Metal Gear, you have them ready and at your disposal. They're still a force to be reckoned with even without nukes. You are a force to be reckoned with." She looked him up and down. "Or you will be soon enough."  
"Yes, soon enough.”  
  
“Who is the commander of Otselotovaya Khvatka? It's not you, is it?"  
Ingwe sighed. "No sir, it's not, I am merely in command of this unit. Our commander is known as One, you'll meet him soon enough. He really believes that Shalashaska is going to take command again, I don't believe he even understands that this isn't Liquid Ocelot, that that personality is dead, no, in this, the Wildcat, it never even existed."  
"I thought Liquid Ocelot's Otselotovaya Khvatka were a unit of women?"  
"Oh, they were, but there were men in other areas of his forces."  
He watched her face carefully. "I see."  
  
\---  
  
"We don't have much longer." Sunny pulled the blanket up around her shoulders and made herself into a burrito. Ocelot was sat on the trunk on the side of the room, the trunk was half visible through his legs as he spread his knees and leant forwards, hands clutched together and eyes focused on the ground between his feet.  
_No,_ he said. _You're right._  
"I want to know who you're dealing with, Ocelot."  
_I know. These are not all happy memories for me, Sunny._  
"Are many?"  
_Maybe not_. He sighed. _Ingwe and I met in Zanzibar Land, she was a survivor of Outer Heaven. Many people came out of Zanzibar Land alive, soldiers, families. Children particularly. After_ _what happened in_ _Outer Heaven, Snake decided to send the children underground to keep them safe when Solid Snake arrived.  
_ "Underground?"  
_Quite literally. There was an underground system of... Canals. Part labyrinth, part sewer, part water system. It was a dangerous place, but the safest place to be if they were bombed again.  
_ Sunny tucked in her chin, staring at her bundle of blankets sadly.  
_Most of the children were picked up and rehabilitated, sent off to foster families, adopted out. Some were taken in by other survivors. There was a lot of positive media coverage, children rescued, off to start new lives, ha, as if it's all erased that easily.  
_ "What happened to Ingwe? Was she adopted?"  
_Ingwe was... Ingwe was a victim of the bombs in South Africa.  
  
The story of Outer Heaven is a complex one, but put in simple terms: Snake took on an alias, and set up a private forces company in the area. His double, Venom, was developing Diamond Dogs with Kazuhira Miller and myself. When Diamond Dogs grew powerful enough it merged with Snake's forces and relocated to South Africa, over night Outer Heaven went from just over one hundred men to __well_ _over a thousand. Big Boss took an area of South Africa by force and he had many supporters there, people he'd helped, people who believed he would bring good things to their home. He also had a lot of opponents who saw him as nothing more than an invader. He called them rebels, and Outer Heaven was a war zone from the moment of its conception. Venom stayed on as Diamond Dog's, now Outer Heaven's, commander. Miller abandoned the project, and Big Boss and I returned to the States, to The Patriots.  
_ "Wait... So when Solid Snake faced Big Boss in South Africa...?"  
_That wasn't Big Boss, the Big Boss with us now anyway. That was Venom Snake. Although Big Boss had difficulty seeing Venom and himself as separate entities, to him 'Big Boss' had become a concept, no longer an individual man. When Solid Snake was sent in to destroy the Metal Gear that Outer Heaven was building, he activated the building's self destruct system. I don't know if he was aware of exactly what happened, but the explosion only destroyed Metal Gear's hangar, it was designed to stop the opposition from getting a hold of it's construction data, it was not enough to destroy the whole site_ _—_ _that was bombed by the US.  
  
_ "Who were the opposition? The rebels?"  
His shoulders heaved. _Whomever Big Boss was fighting at the time. Or anyone he thought he was. Outer Heaven was a mercenary nation, surrounded by competitors, each with an interest in taking that data. Anyway, Outer Heaven was not the only place that suffered during the attack by the_ _US_ _, it affected many of the locals, the 'rebels'. Venom Snake was identified as 'Big Boss' by Solid Snake, and so the first Big Boss had to flee The Patriots once again. He returned to Africa, found the soldiers that had been off base during the attack, together they swept up the rest of the survivors, and rebels, and their families who'd been caught in the attack. A lot of children were left without parents. Children_ _made_ _up nearly half of the group that eventually went to Europe, then onwards to found Zanzibar Land._ Ocelot hesitated. _That's... Big Boss needed soldiers, he had a few, and he had children. So he put guns in the hands of the kids. I thought I knew him well enough to say that decision wouldn't have come easy to him, but I'm not sure_ _any more._ _Ingwe was a child of the rebels, she was badly injured and suffered memory loss from the attack. She didn't even know her name when she was first found. I didn't meet her until after Zanzibar Land was finally under construction, by then she had started to recover, but there is always one or two kids in any group that doesn't fit in. That was her. It wasn't her scars, they were bad, but not that unusual among the kids. She was bright, intelligent, but unsocial... Antisocial at times. When I visited she often attached herself to me. Probably more out of curiosity and boredom than anything else, but we got along well, I guess I entertained her. When I had the time we'd go out to the wheat fields and shoot cans off the walls. She was a good shot, and a quick learner, questioned everything and was ferociously determined. I could pick any subject and she'd learn it_. He saw Sunny's expression and laughed. _Nothing sordid, even I wouldn't train a child in interrogative methods. I didn't even agree with how Big Boss was having them trained.  
_ "So what happened?"  
_One day I came to Zanzibar Land to warn Big Boss of Solid Snake's approach. We had very little time and I was rushing. She must have seen me arrive as I found her outside after I'd spoken to him. I think she over heard what I said to him as she seemed upset but wouldn't talk to me. I didn't really think anything off it, thought she was just afraid. After Zanzibar was lost I followed up on her and... A couple of the other kids I'd gotten to know. She was in a foster home, being given counselling, I thought it was best to stay away from them and give them a fair chance at a new life,_ _that had previously be the idea behind taking in the kids anyway, before they were given weapons.  
  
_ Sunny sat up awkwardly and mulled this over for some time. "There's something missing." She said finally.  
Ocelot sighed. _Yes._ He said. _Something I don't know about. She acts like Olga did after I..._ Sunny looked up and he coughed. _Well she seems to be under the impression that I've done something to her, but I have no idea what, and that is concerning because I usually do keep track of these things.  
_ "You certainly do…"  
He had the decency to look abashed.  
"Something happened that day you visited Big Boss."  
_I would seem so._  
"Why... Would she want to know about us?"  
_Us?  
_ "Yeah... The Balam men who..." she swallowed. "Who interrogated me, wanted to know about the two of us, if we were close, what our relationship was. They... Kept telling me you wouldn't bother coming for me, than you would find someone else."  
_You think Ingwe was behind those questions?  
_ "Maybe not the second bit that sounds fairly standard. Right?"  
Ocelot leant back and stared at the ceiling. _Maybe._ _Maybe_ _she was hurt I didn't come for her after she was taken out of Zanzibar.  
_ "S-sounds plausible. Ocelot? Be careful okay? I think she could be d-dangerous to you."  
_I was certainly used to reconnect with Snake, to bring the King Ray back into working order safely, but there's more to the creation of the Wildcat than just that._ He got up, pixels washed off his edges with his movement and made Sunny's eyes ache. He came over and half sat on the edge of her bed _. Speaking of the Wildcat, we have important work to do tomorrow.  
_ "You mean, 'I' have important work to do?"  
He grinned. _Get some sleep my dear, call me if you need me.  
_ She slumped back on her flat pillow with a grunt.  
_I know. Hopefully you won't.  
  
_ \---  
  
Sunny worked from the early morning, choking on half-smothered yawns and chugging back the strong bitter coffee that a curious and hovering Crow kept delivering to her. She unlocked all of Ocelot's weapons systems and the speed controls—the control panel had already been modified to remove the gate. It was unnerving to see the guns recycle without her input and she swallowed her growing nerves with another gulp of coffee. From across the hangar the King Ray watched interestedly over the heads of those working on it. Big Boss spent most of his waking time hidden inside his own head, escaping the discomforting feeling of having people crawling over him and piecing him back together, but watching the Wildcat willingly, even eagerly, handing itself over to Sunny for work made him pay attention. Besides wondering how Ocelot had grown so comfortable with this, he was also intrigued by Ocelot's new body, it was truly unlike anything he'd known from the early years of Metal Gear construction, although it was a haunting throwback to Peace Walker. Not unfitting, in Big Boss' opinion.  
  
"There, I can't control who has the option of imprinting, but you should be able to resist anyone who attempts it."  
_Good._  
"The grenade launchers are yours and... the cannon has just been handed over to you.  
_I feel armed._  
She nodded vaguely and for too long.  
_Sunny?_  
"Hmn?" she shook herself, one hand hovered over the control panel.  
_Can you link imprint with permissions?_  
"Probably, why?"  
_Could you set the weapons systems to become restricted to pilot input again when imprinting is renewed? If you take me back, it'll make a good show of faith on my part. Returning to the previous status quo without any real loss of functionality._  
She nodded. "I'll see what I can do. I'm... Not happy, Ocelot."  
_Mn?_  
"About going home. No... I want to go home it's…"  
_Of returning to BBR? I'm sure they—_  
"N-no, it's Uncle Hal. How am I going to face him with this?"  
_Tell him you were forced._  
"I can't lie to him!"  
_Then tell him the truth._  
"I'm not sure I can do that either."  
_Then I deceived you, and sent you home to repay you for sparing my life._  
"Is that a lie?" she looked up at the projection leaning over her shoulder and he turned to meet her gaze, frustratingly impassive.  
_Not really_. He didn't remember to move his mouth.  
  
It took longer to set up Ocelot's plan, but it worked, of course now he knew the passwords and there wasn't anything stopping him from altering it himself. Sunny wasn't sure this wasn't another ploy, but if it was she couldn't figure out what he gained from it.  
_Now for the imprint?_  
"Yeah…"  
_Worried?  
_ Sunny stared at the computer screen and clenched her fists tightly. The moment she erased this bond, all control she had over the Wildcat would be removed. He would be free, free to act or fail to act however he liked. The safety net that had carried her this far would be gone, torn away by the very person who depended upon it. She might climb down from here afterwards and be crushed, tossed aside like a broken toy, maybe he wouldn't even wait that long. How long would she last if he tried to shake her to death in the cockpit?  
_Sunny?_ He spoke her name softly and she snapped out of it.  
"Sorry, I'll do it…"  
  
Sunny sat back in the chair blinking and digging her fingers into her biceps. For a while part of her insisted that something was very very wrong. She checked herself, all her limbs in place, heart still beating. She took a gulp of air, she'd forgotten to breathe but her lungs were still there and working. She was not in pain, or dead. Her head felt scrubbed clean and airy. Pressure lifted from her body she hadn't even known was there. Like a heavy coat shed from her shoulders, or a stiff wind dropping away and leaving her unbalanced. Ocelot was gone. The boundaries of their minds no longer pressed against one another, threatening to overlap and become confused. His voice was silenced. Sunny let go of herself and stared at her hands, clenching and unclenching them, no longer feeling the ghost of his presence through her limbs. Gone was the knowledge of the Wildcat's body, the pressure of heavy paws on concrete, the power of its limbs and strength of its body. Half of her self seemed to have been removed, and in the same instant she felt more whole and aware of her own body than ever before, and more: aware of how closely they'd been linked, how much he'd been aware of, had at any time, been able to take control of. Sunny's head span and she lurched out of the cockpit, just managing to reach a scrap bin before throwing up the coffee she'd been substituting for a solid breakfast.


	42. Conflict of Interest

“ _And I'm haunted_  
 _By the lives that I have loved_  
 _And actions I have hated_  
 _I'm haunted_  
 _By the lives that wove the web_  
 _Inside my haunted head._ ”

\--

Poe, Haunted

  


Dawn was breaking when Sunny double checked her bag, slung it over her shoulder and ventured out into the cool morning air. She was dressed unobtrusively in black combat trousers and a white vest, something she could blend in with when she returned home. Her light pilot’s armour was stashed in the bottom of the bag. Ocelot was waiting for her, thrumming softly and breaking up the silence. She hadn't expected to see him, and that realisation alone shook her and hammered home the understanding that this was it. It was over. Her gut feeling was that this was the last time she was going to see him—at least as her partner. He lowered his head and Sunny froze, not knowing what he was going to do. She eyed up the manipulator arms warily when they hissed towards her and only relaxed when the clawed tips brushed her hair back behind her ears, she hadn't realised how long it was getting.  
  
"Don't hide, and don't slouch like that."   
She stood up straighter, looking sheepish. "What am I going to do without you?" she said weakly, because it was the kind of thing people said.  
"Get a hunched back if you're not careful."  
"I'll make sure not to."  
"You'd better be standing up straight when I see you next."  
She saluted. "Yes Shalash-shaska, s-sir."  
His flood lamps reflected the sun and flashed. "What are you going to do when you get back?"  
"Other than face whatever Mr Lewis is going to throw at me?"  
"Other than that."  
She shifted the bag to a more comfortable position. "Probably call up my friends and talk to them. I feel like a bit of an idiot... breaking things off with them the way I did."  
He nodded slowly. "What about Rich?"  
"Ugh."  
"Good. You should keep Crow, he's nicer."  
"I'm not really interested," she smiled. "I'd rather focus on other things."  
"Fair enough. More for me."  
"More of who? Me or Crow?" Sunny shook her head and tugged on one of the trailing arms, he looked down at her curiously, tilting his tank sized head to the side inspecting her.  
"You're tired?" He asked.  
"Something like that."  
"Maybe you’ll get some rest on the trip.”  
“Yeah… Goodbye, Ocelot.”  
“Goodbye, Sunny, good luck."  
"...You too. Take care of Big Boss."  
"Of course. Take care."  
  
Ocelot’s reference to Crow was not entirely unfounded, he'd had Crow and Chat put in charge of returning Sunny home, safe and sound under pain of Ocelot's well practised wrath. He'd not needed to threaten them, they were happy to help, and Sunny was relieved that it would be them taking her home. The whole time their vehicle bounced its way out of the base, Sunny sat twisted in her seat, watching the Wildcat. In turn, the Wildcat was sat back on its haunches, eyes on her. A dumpy figure in a white coat was scuttling up to him, Holder had come out of his den. Sunny thought for a moment, as she looked up at the dimly lit blue lamps that could pass for eyes, that she met the Wildcat’s gaze. Something in her stirred then, an understanding: he was letting her leave, to live unsupervised, with all the knowledge anyone needed to find him, Otselotovaya Khvatka and, most importantly to Ocelot, Big Boss. Was this some kind of unspoken deal? That he’d leave her alone if she kept her mouth shut? Her chest tightened. He wouldn’t leave that unsaid would he? Her throat closed. The Wildcat started to turn away, slow and distant, unreadable. He was letting her go. She turned her head away hoping the burning in her eyes wouldn’t turn into tears. He was trusting her with everything.  
  
\---  
  
The long trip home was uneventful, they each took turns driving and sleeping, and when they were all awake they would talk and pass the time with trivialities. Sunny came to realise Otselotovaya Khvatka had more power than she’d appreciated. Though they passed easily enough across the borders and produced paperwork when it was needed, there was a sense that things weren’t quite as official as when she and the Wildcat had passed through. Sometimes money changed hands, soldiers who’d seen her pass by in the other direction gave her a strange look now she went home. She would be glad to have this uncomfortable trip over and done with.  
  
They talked a lot on the trip, but not about anything too deep, as they'd approached the checkpoint into Mexico however, Sunny had leant over to Crow in the driver's seat and asked him what he thought of Ingwe. Finally feeling there was enough distance between them for her to ask.  
Crow had pulled a face. "Can't say I think she's got the best for us lot in mind."  
"What do you mean?"  
"She's only interested in her own work, and I... Well she used to preach about how important it was to recover Shalashaska? But now that he's with us, she's all focused on Big Boss? I mean sure, he was behind Outer Heaven in the first place, but we all know how he was. I like the idea, we all do, a nation where we can chose who gets our support? I grew up hearing about PMCs and proxy wars, the rich win ‘cos they can hire the soldiers, but Outer Heaven? That was different. In principle. Ah, I don't know. Ocelot was behind the PMCs, the big ones, maybe Ingwe thinks he can be good for us, the money side of it, he certainly did well for himself."  
"Yeah…"  
"But he's not the er... He doesn't really seem like the commanding type does he?  
"Not really no."  
"What's his deal?"  
"Just doesn't come naturally or… Maybe he just doesn’t like it. People expect the worst of him anyway." She muttered.  
Crow glanced back at her. "Kind of asked for it though, right?"  
"Yeah."  
"I heard about what happened to your family."  
"Yeah, seems a lot of people have."  
"So...?"  
"So he killed a lot of people." She sat back, finishing the conversation and he winced.  
"Sorry, not something to ask about, eh?"  
She gazed out the window, answering quietly when she did do, "I think... It's the same thing as what affected him."  
"Huh?"  
"If... If I accept that I'm doing the wrong thing, I accept that I've made a terrible mistake and hurt a lot of people for nothing, I have to believe that he really does think that Big Boss can be saved. That they can start again, better this time. If he doesn't really believe that... Then. Then he'll have to accept he's wasted so much time and effort and lives for nothing, and I don't think he can do that. I'm not sure I can do that."  
"You really think he cares about all those other people?"  
"In a way, yes."  
"So what? Can Big Boss change?"  
"Emotionally traumatised, psychologically damaged and left untreated for so many years? I don't know, I really don't know. I don't like him. I don't want him here… But if he can be helped, that has to be the right thing to do, right? He's still a person."  
Crow shrugged. "I guess so, pretty sure it could be successfully argued in either direction."  
"Yeah. Well he was treated badly, it doesn't excuse him for his own choices, but I'm not sure he'd have turned out the same way if he'd been given the support he needed in the first place, he deserved it then at least."  
“You’re a good person Sunny.”  
“I’m not sure about that.”  
  
She slept most of the rest of the way home, waking only to the distant sound of shell fire towards dusk when they stopped to refuel from the Jerrycans in the back of the truck. She watched the flickering lights on the horizon and wondered what had happened.  
"So long as it stays away from us," Chat said as he slid into the driver's seat and Crow passed out in the passenger side. The rest of the journey involved staring out of the windows, waiting to meet another vehicle coming down the dirt road, for them to be exposed and caught up in someone else’s fight.  
  
"We'll have to leave you just outside the city."  
"Hmn."  
"Can't risk getting any closer, might be about 3 miles."  
"That's fine, you two will be okay?"  
"Yeah, even if someone comes after us we'll have a head start." He shot a grin over his shoulder at her and Sunny nodded.  
"I've been sitting down long enough," she slumped back on the tatty seat. "A walk would do me good."  
"Kind of envy you." Crow said sleepily. "Stretching your legs, getting home, having a wash and a nice cup of coffee..." he drifted off and started snoring again.  
"I wish I could sleep like that."  
  
\---  
  
Sunny walked backwards, waving until the two men got back into the truck and after a pause started to drive away. Then she turned and started to trudge along the main road. It was very early in the morning, they'd been driving most of the night, there was no one on the road. After the first half a mile, her legs cramping after the long period sitting down and driving in the truck, she started to hope someone would drive past and offer her a lift. When someone finally did drive by they didn't stop, and Sunny kicked a discarded coffee cup in their wake and found herself complaining to Ocelot, who wasn't there. She had to walk the rest of the way feeling crushed and lonely with the city dark and sinister before her, a single solitary light here and there, the street lights flickering off as the sun rose, the rosy beacon on top of the old ATC tower blinked in the half light. There were more cars on the move when she got into the streets, a few people gave her a second glance but most ignored her and headed sleepy eyed for their early shifts.  
  
She didn't want to see Hal just yet. She was tired and felt like she'd been living homeless for a week, her clothes felt sticky and her hair greasy, she wanted to get home in peace and wash and sleep in a real bed before facing her uncle. So she took a detour towards the park, where a small clock tower would let her keep an eye on the time. Curled up on a bench clutching her duffel bag she got more looks, some disgruntled, others saddened. She started to feel guilty and misleading and considered hiding somewhere, but it was nearly eight and Hal would be heading to work soon, she just had to wait him out.  
  
At some point she drifted off, gazing into the distance, snapping out of it only when she realised she was being watched. A young woman under the clock tower was staring straight at her and Sunny recognised her.  
"Shit, Hannah…"  
Hannah, whom she hadn’t seen since the hospital, was starting to come towards her. Sunny got to her feet and walked away nonchalantly until she was out of the park and across the road.  
"Sunny?" she heard Hannah call from behind her, sounding doubtful. Was she really that hard to recognise? She got around a corner and started to run, sprinting to put space between them and dodging down an alley to get out to the next road and back to solitude. She kept moving after that. Until she reached her home street and lurked across the road from the house until she heard the car pull away, when it turned the corner she crept out and headed for the house. She couldn’t get in. Of course she didn't have a key… She gave the front door an annoyed half-punch and trudged around the back, head nodding, legs shaky with fatigue.  
"Thank you for regularly forgetting your keys, Hal." She said to herself, unlocking the key-safe and letting herself in the back door. She stood for a moment in the kitchen.  
  
The house was in silence, disturbed only by the occasional drip of the tap. She tightened the faucet and headed upstairs, kicked open her bedroom door and tossed the bag in, kicked her boots after it and headed back to the bathroom. She gave the photos of Dave and Olga a longing look at she came closer to them.  
"Sorry, I’m trying my best." She murmured. “I love you.”  
  
Tossing the dirty clothing into the wash basket while the water heated up, Sunny didn't waste time before stepping into the shower. Despite how tired she was, she took the time to wash very thoroughly, even stopping long enough to lather up her legs with soap and shave, just for the luxury of being able to. By the time she'd rinsed the foam off her legs the steam in the room had started to settle and she was getting cold. She brushed her teeth quickly then headed back to her room, with a towel tugged tightly around her shoulders to keep off the chill until the moisture was off her skin.  
  
She'd intended only to brush her hair and dive into bed, but she remembered Hannah's confused look and doubtful voice. She put down the brush, opened her wardrobe and looked at herself in the mirror.  
  
She'd lost weight. She hadn't noticed before but she had and looked angular, even her face wasn't as rounded. Muscle had built up in her arms and stomach from handling the Wildcat's heavy controls and heaving herself in and out of the cockpit, as well as the various odd jobs she'd been helping with endlessly around the base and... Before? What had been happening before? Sunny dragged a hand over her face, she was too tired, fuzzy headed. She looked back up. Her hair did need a cut; now wet it reached the nape of her neck, sleekly slicked back from her face, which was gaunter than she remembered, with silver scars running over her chin and lip and her cheek. Even her eyes seemed harder than before. She wasn't sure she liked the effect. She stared at the smattering of cigarette burns on her thigh and had to drag her eyes away when she felt her heartbeat pick up and panic start to rise. Instead she twisted around and smiled at the large faint bruise across her lower back from the many times the Wildcat had nudged her. That would disappear soon enough and she'd have to get used to its dull ache being as absent as Ocelot was. She stretched and her stiff back and ankles finally popped. When she stiffly climbed into bed the rest of her joints cracked in sympathy. She felt the smoothness of her legs against each other and already felt half way reintegrated back into civilised society. Thinking that maybe she could handle this okay after all, she fell asleep, not even bothering to close the curtains to shut out the day.  
  
Sunny woke up a few hours later with a busy mind and itchy fingers. She had quickly sat down at her laptop to note down in short what had happened in the last few days, to think it through clearly and get her mind in order. She was dressed and working through her notepad, converting it to text and trying to work out what she might have forgotten and missed, when she heard the front door close. She froze, listening to the familiar limping steps across the room below hers. He moved around in the kitchen for a moment, there was a pause, then he headed up the stairs, before he reached the landing she was standing in her doorway.   
Hal stopped in his tracks and his eyes goggled behind his glasses. "Sunny!?"  
"H-hey Uncle H—"  
"Did anyone see you!?"  
  
\---  
  
"Doctor?"  
Doctor West fumbled with the tiny screwdriver and dropped it under the dashboard.  
"Yes, Ocelot?" he gasped, trying to lean over his belly to reach it.  
"I've been wondering, can physical damage to a person's human brain transfer over to an AI's brain?"  
"Um, like what?"  
"Say... Frontal lobe damage. That can cause personality changes, increased aggression, things like that, can't it?"  
West leant back in the pilot seat and frowned. "It can do, it affects many things. I don't know what would happen if someone with brain damage was used as the basis for an AI... But if it was developed like you were, lead by the nose through one memory at a time from your earliest to your latest, resulting in a replication of all your original reactions and opinions, then..." he sucked on his cheeks. "Well it could go either way I suppose, I never really considered it."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well... either the AI version of the person would react to post-injury situations according to its pre-injury personality, as there is no physical damage that would interrupt that process, or on the other hand..." he huffed. "The AI looks forwards as well as back during its construction and computes what reactions the personality is more or less likely to choose according to previous situations that might result in the situation about to occur. You follow me?"  
"I think so, as the AI develops it matches what it thinks should happen to what actually did?"  
"Yes, more or less. If it fails to find a match it can, to an extent, vary the amount of any given emotional reaction to result in a balance that would lead to the correct scenario. I theorize that AIs that have had long enough to have new reactions and to develop an original personality of their own, would pick up on these inconsistencies and that contributes to their inevitable break down."  
"So you're saying that it might re-create the damage from the physical trauma in trying to find the correct responses?"  
"...Yes."  
"Why didn't the inconsistencies affect me?"  
"Adaptive memory structure," West said proudly. "Built from the programs the Chinese were working on. On identifying errors a 'subconscious' system of programs causes the links between memories to be rearranged in order with what the conscious mind expects as it goes along, it might not be right of course. It emulates how we tend to remember things differently to how they actually happened, and how the memories alter over time."  
"I see."  
"Something bothering you? I wasn't aware of any brain trauma in your history?"  
"Not mine."  
"Big Boss?"  
"Yes... No. It's complicated."  
"Well he was either hurt or he wasn't?"  
"One Big Boss was hurt. One wasn't."  
"There was... Two?"  
"No…"  
West scratched his head. "You've lost me, Shalashaska."  
"There were two men, and they were both Big Boss. I'm not sure if the King Ray's AI was based only on the one, which believes itself to be both, or if memories from both were a part of its construction."  
"Oh…"  
"Are you nearly finished?"  
"Huh? O-oh, nearly."  
  
\---  
  
_Snake?_ _  
_ The King Ray looked up to the Wildcat standing before him, twitchy and looking around uncertainly.  
_What is it?  
Can we talk? Face to face?  
Sure.  
  
_ Big Boss glanced around Ocelot's VR curiously. Inclined to hide his sterile neutral VR, Ocelot had called on a set of memories he recalled fondly, and Big Boss found himself gazing out at a dry dusty landscape that had suited Ocelot down to the ground once upon a time.  
"I should have guessed." Big Boss said, Ocelot shrugged. "So what are you about?" He turned his tired humourless expression from the desert to find Ocelot uncharacteristically wide eyed.  
"What do you remember, about the end?"  
"The end...?" He murmured. "More than I'd like. I remember Solid Snake, I disarmed him, but gave him more of a chance than I should have... He made a simple flamethrower somehow, some kind of spray can... I couldn't put it out..." he shivered violently. "Everything after that is a blur, I don't want to think about it. I suppose I died... But you said...?"  
Ocelot looked away and the desert crumbled, Big Boss shied away from the hospital room it revealed, but couldn't go far. He bumped into a tray of various pieces of equipment, mostly blades, and stopped. Ocelot was staring fixedly at the ground, and behind him on white linen, shrouded in muslin and trailing various tubes and wires that lead to a myriad of machines was what Big Boss could only guess had once been a person. Blood and plasma spotted heavily through the bandages, and what little flesh was exposed was burnt beyond recognition. His heart sank as his gaze rolled up the almost-cadaver to its scared face, half of which was bandaged, the other sore looking but…  
  
"That's…"  
"You. They wouldn't let you die."  
He turned sharply to Ocelot. "Why are you showing me this?"  
"Because I want you to understand what we were left with, what I'm trying to protect you from." He rested his hand on the foot of the bed and shook his head. "Snake, Ingwe is angry. Do you know why? Have you noticed anything about her that might explain what she wants?"  
Big Boss spoke in a deadened voice, unable to stop staring at the memory of his withered body.  
"She seems to think there is a traitor among us. But I don't know who, or why."  
"She's pretty fixated on you."  
"Yes…"  
"Why?"  
"I don't know."  
"Snake."  
He shook his head. "Lots of kids looked up to me in Zanzibar Land."  
"Mmn, she was burnt too, maybe..." The hospital started to fade as Ocelot got distracted.  
"She seems bitter about you. You knew her didn't you?"  
"Yes."  
"What did you do to her?"  
"Nothing that I can remember that would make her act like this, I had no reason not to believe she wouldn't be happy to talk to me again. I thought we parted on good terms."  
"She wants to recreate Outer Heaven, apparently the person backing you thinks you're still the original commander of Otselotovaya Khvatka."  
Ocelot scowled. "No, that wasn't me."  
"I know that. Ingwe knows that too. I suspect she sees you as a weapon."  
"Or a scapegoat."  
"A scapegoat?"  
  
"I think I made a mistake letting Sunny go back alone."  
Big Boss grumbled in the back of his throat. "She wanted to go."  
"That's not the point."  
He looked up, one good eye narrowing. "You can't make all her choices for her, she's not a replacement for Wolf, you know."  
  
It happened so quickly that Big Boss was still raising his fists protectively even as he landed on his arse. He blinked up at Ocelot, who was massaging his knuckles.  
"Shut up."  
Big Boss grunted.  
"You have no idea what you're talking about and you have no right to talk about it either."  
"I trained her..." He caught the anger in Ocelot's expression and changed tact: "What happened anyway?"  
"You did." Ocelot growled, the barren glaring whiteness of the virtual reality gave away to dark skies and darker fir trees, the hard nothing that passed for ground became cold under Big Boss's hands and body. Their breath steamed in the frigid air. Big Boss slowly got to his feet, brushing snow off his hands as flakes settled on his head and shoulders.  
  
A disembodied howl cut mournfully through the trees and behind Ocelot... Big Boss took a step closer to Ocelot, even he had changed, now he wore the familiar FoxHound coat. Fluid dripped from his sleeve and stained the snow with red flowers of blood. Behind him a new figure lay. This one was half covered in snow, her face hidden under a white handkerchief that was stained crimson where it had soaked up the blood from a bullet wound to her head.  
"Wolf?" Big Boss mumbled.  
  
An exhausted woman's voice, distorted by transmission via codec rasped through the air. Haunting with her body laying metres away.  
"I... I've... Waited for this moment... I am a sniper... Waiting is my job... Never moving a muscle... Concentrating…"  
Ocelot looked up and met Big Boss' gaze as the voice gave way to wet coughing.  
"I am lung-shot... Y... you can not save me... Please... Just finish me quick..." Ocelot's gaze didn’t falter.  
"I am a Kurd... I have always dreamed of a peaceful place like this. I was born on the battlefield, raised on the battlefield..." The single loan howl gave way to more, more animals in the trees, surrounding their dead mistress.  
"Gunfire, sirens and screams... They were my lullabies... Hunted like dogs day after day... Driven from our ragged shelters. That was my life... Each morning I'd wake up and find a few more of my family or friends dead beside me... I'd stare at the morning sun... and pray to make it through the day... The governments of the world turned a blind eye to our misery... but then... he appeared. My hero... Saladin... He took me away from all that... I became a sniper... hidden, watching everything through a rifle scope. Now I could see war, not from inside... but from the outside... as an observer... I watched the brutality... the stupidity of mankind through the scope of my rifle... I joined this group of revolutionaries... to take my revenge on the world... But... I have shamed myself and my people... I am no longer the wolf I was born to be... In the name of vengeance, I sold my body and my soul... Now I am nothing more than... a dog…"  
There was a long pause in which Ocelot moved away.  
"Who are you?" The voice asked. "Are you Saladin?"  
Big Boss looked around, blinking in confusion.  
"I finally understand, I wasn't waiting to kill people... I was waiting for someone to kill me... a man like you... you're a hero... Please... set me free…"  
  
The voice faded out and Big Boss' shoulders fell as he looked at Ocelot's broken expression.  
"I heard all of it. I didn't know what to do. I knew she was hurting, and in many ways she was so like me, I tried to reach out to her, to give her something else, anything else, to live for..." he took a deep steadying breath. "When you found her, I decided she was best left with you. Safety, education, taught how to defend herself. What could I do? She was a little girl and I was all alone, sit her in the corner with a colouring book? 'Hey honey,'" he said in a sickly sweet voice. "'Lift up your feet while I mop up the blood?' Teach her to count with a voltage dial!?".  
"She was never yours to being with."  
"That's not the point!" Ocelot barked. "She was... She was the closest I ever had to... And you…"  
"I gave her a home."  
"You were her hero!" his voice cracked as if it pained him to admit it. "You let her believe that war was all there was, that vengeance was all there was."  
"And what would you have taught her? If you'd kept her?"  
Ocelot looked up, pain in every line of his face. "That's not fair John, I wasn't like you, I never had any other life."  
Big Boss looked away.  
"No. She's not a replacement for Wolf. No one can replace Wolf. Or Naomi. Or Quiet. Or Eva. Or The Boss." Big Boss flinched. "She's Sunny, no one else. All I can do is learn from my mistakes and try to do better the next time, and not let them down. That's why... I can't... I won't chose between the two of you." He hesitated. "Why I shouldn't have left her alone."  
  
Big Boss' large hands landed on his shoulders with a dull thump of flesh on leather. Ocelot looked up into the fallen hero's worn and lonely face.  
"Do you really think she's in danger?"  
"Yes. I thought getting her away from us would be better, she didn’t want to be with us, but the more I think about it…"  
"Are you sure?"  
"They're going to find out about you. The blame for your return can and will be put on Sunny and I, even if she tries to put it all on me: she still had the ability to overpower me and no amount of hand held submachine guns or rifles can get through my armour. She's not going to have the support of the company, not without something to bargain, that makes Sunny a danger to you, I don’t think she’d willingly turn on us but that doesn’t mean everyone shares my opinion. She's one of very few people who can work our systems almost single handedly and in ways other people can't even dream of. I don't know what Ingwe's plan is, but it won't include letting Sunny go free to become a threat."  
"You think she'll get rid of Sunny? Instead of trying to control her?"  
"Yes. She's made sure that Sunny can't trust her, and Ingwe doesn't trust me for reasons I don't understand. It would be hard to persuade Sunny to join us if 'us' includes Ingwe."  
"But killing her? Surely Ingwe knows you'll react to that?"  
"Yes... I think that's what she's counting on."  
"You can’t go, she might be trying to lure you away."  
“Can’t go, can’t stay...” Ocelot smirked. "What makes you think I was planning on leaving anyway?"  
"Because I know you..." He licked his lips. "Ocelot, Ingwe wants me to use you."  
"What?"  
"As a weapon. She doesn't see you as worth anything alone, and I get the feeling she wouldn't trust you as far as she could throw you. She seems to think I control you, that you'd be gone by now if I didn't and you revived me out of fear."  
Ocelot gazed up at him, waiting patiently. Big Boss searched his blue-grey eyes, snowflakes caught in his long eyelashes turned his gaze to ice.  
“Don’t move on this, not yet.”  
  
\---  
  
"Sunny? Sunny!"  
"Mn!?"  
"You were completely out of it. Are you okay?"  
Sunny raised her head from her hands, trying to process this new information.  
  
Hal had seen someone lurking about the house in the evenings on his return from work, every evening, for the last few days. He didn't know who it was or why the house was being watched, but he doubted it was for friendly reasons. With the timing being what it was, both Sunny and Hal suspected whomever it was, was waiting to see when she would return home. It might have been benign, Hal had suggested, just waiting to see if she was home safe... But neither of them believed it and they both eyed the closed curtains nervously.  
  
"I went to see Mrs West." Hal said suddenly, changing the subject; they'd been going around in circles for nearly an hour now, Sunny was dodging most of his questions on what had happened, and she had been unable to shed light on the watcher.  
"Oh? Y-you gave her my message?"   
That morning Hal had taken a winding and elaborate and extremely tiring trip to the house of West's neglected wife to deliver a message from West himself, and also from Sunny.  
"Yes! She's very relieved, but I think he might be in for some trouble when he gets home. She's had some people around, claiming to be from Benedict Business Research, looking for some kind of misplaced information, documents on the Wildcat."  
"The Wildcat? Why, what information?"  
"I'm not sure. She didn't say, but they seem very intent on finding it."  
"Were they from the company?"  
Hal repositioned his glasses and shook his head. "No. I checked."  
Sunny tapped her fingers on the kitchen table.  
"Did Ocelot mention anything to you, sweetheart?"  
"Like what?"  
"Any reasons why these people might be after information on him?"  
Sunny shook her head. "No. West didn't either."  
"Then it's probably nothing to be concerned about."  
Sunny shook her head again. If anything had come up between West and Ocelot in the last few days it would be impossible for her to know about it.  
  
"Maybe West needs some of his notes... But what if something's wrong with him…"  
"Did yo—"  
"We don't really know what the long term effects of the MB-AI's Resurrection are, or my interfering with the original plan, or anything I might have changed since then. I shouldn't have left. I could have helped if something went wrong…"  
"Sunny, we don't know anything is wrong, it might be nothing. Besides, West built the AI. I'm sure he's capable."  
"Y-yes. Yes of course, you're right. I'm sure everything is fine."  
"Sunny?"  
She looked up. There were bruises under her glazed eyes, her hair was scraggly over her face.  
"Let it go. You have no reason to worry about him, not after he forced you into freeing him, and... The King Ray." Hal suppressed a shiver. "He's not coming back anyway, right?"  
"Right."  
"So lets just... Try to put this behind us okay?"  
"Okay..."  
  
\---  
  
Plans had to be made, frustrating Ocelot as the days rolled by like cold glue and he was still at the base with no concept of what Ingwe's plans were. He started to double guess himself: you're over thinking, she's fine, you have no proof that anything is wrong... Leave her alone. And yet the nagging feeling remained, Ingwe shot him venomous looks whenever she saw him interacting positively with the troops. Even those originally suspicious of him were coming around, attracted by the new training he was introducing, his critique at the shooting range and patient explanations. It wasn't quite as hands on as it had once been, but Ocelot had fallen smoothly into his old role as an instructor and it was his only positive distraction on base. Ingwe had let the unit's development stagnate and many of the soldiers were bored or complacent, Ocelot's new techniques were a breath of fresh air that had them realising they weren't even close to reaching their potential. The solace he found in his work was only enough to keep the edge off his growing impatience.  
  
He had noticed Ingwe visiting the hangar regularly, and he had conspired to interfere. Unable to actually stop her he'd taken to following her example, every time he saw Ingwe leaving Big Boss, he'd go and talk to him. He knew he wasn't being subtle about it. Aside from the logistic problems of being subtle or sneaky in any way, not being subtle played in his favour, let Ingwe know he was talking about her, getting information back about her. Let her know he and Big Boss were still united, however much she tried to drive a wedge between them—and she was trying—they wouldn't be broken.  
  
Big Boss was slow and stilted in reporting what Ingwe had to say to him. Much of it was inconsequential or simply unimportant, but Ocelot felt there was something he was missing by getting this information second hand. Big Boss himself was feeling increasingly trapped and uncomfortable by this on going questioning, Ocelot was starting to think he was going to need to 'piggyback' off him to hear his and Ingwe's conversations first hand. He had hoped to avoid that. While it was the obvious and simplest way to get to the truth, Big Boss was struggling to regain a sense of independent self. Ocelot's will was more powerful and self assured. Big Boss had admitted to feeling as if he was rapidly being washed away by a world that was simply moving too fast for him and Ocelot’s confidence in their world of software was not a comfort. Ocelot wanted to give him his space, to allow him to catch up in his own time as much as possible, and limited intimate contact for the most important conversations. As long as Big Boss was giving Ocelot vague information however, he didn't know how long they could afford to pussyfoot around.  
  
What was clear however is that at sometime, somehow, Ocelot had given Ingwe the impression that he was a traitor to Big Boss' cause, and that she was determined to make Big Boss believe that too. She really did think that way, Ocelot had decided, there was no reason to make it up that he could see, if she wanted Big Boss to take control of Otselotovaya Khvatka instead of him, well... She had no competition. As far as Ocelot was concerned the unit was Snake's to take, but not now, not yet, not until he was well, be that tomorrow or a decade from now. Big Boss asked again and again: "What did you do to her?" But nothing Ocelot could think of explained it. He and Ingwe had gotten on just fine until that last day in Zanzibar and the only thing he could think of was that at sometime she'd decided that he'd lead The Patriots to Zanzibar Land himself—or maybe it was that he'd left instead of fighting that had bothered her? He just couldn't justify the memory he had of the young girl smiling up at him on his arrival to the nation, with the angry woman he faced now. Bitterly he reflected that he might have just replicated the issue with another woman.  
  
I should have been upfront with Sunny from the start. He thought to himself. At least attempted it, before lying to her. If I find myself facing her one day too, I really wouldn't be surprised, not with my track record for royally screwing up every relationship I've ever had. She would be helpful to have around now, someone to bounce ideas off that won’t just stare sullenly at me and get lost in their own regrets and obsessions. “I hadn't realised how much we talked.” He’d told Big Boss. “Sunny knew so much about me, right from the start. There wasn't much point in hiding anything, and it was actually kind of nice. Like talking to yourself but with more input.” The hint had not been registered.  
  
Ocelot's concerns over Ingwe grew when West approached him late one evening looking nervous. West admittedly always looked nervous, and from what Ocelot could tell, he really very much wanted to go home and escape from under Ingwe's thumb.  
"You just handed all that information over to her?" Ocelot asked.  
"When she came and asked me I couldn't very well say 'no', could I!?" West blustered. "I didn't want to, but—"  
"I understand. So she's been reading up about me, huh?"  
"Yes... She's been very interested in the source of your MB-AI."  
"Why?"  
"I couldn't say, but she's been asking all sorts of questions."  
"Like what?"  
"Dates, when Liquid Ocelot first made an appearance, any anomalies in the... Sir?"  
The Wildcat above him was craning back its neck stiffly.  
"Sorry..." Ocelot finally said. "Headache…"  
"Headache?" West blinked. "Has that been happening often?"  
"...Every couple of days, started after Sunny left."  
"That's interesting. I'm going to run some diagnostics."  
"The ground crew were doing that the other day.”  
“They were? Not for me.”  
“You think there’s a problem?"  
West cocked his head to one side and in a patient if somewhat condescending tone replied: "Sir you are a machine, machines do not get 'headaches', there is almost certainly a problem."  
  
\---  
  
When Ocelot was released so that West could break down the results, he went straight to the King Ray. The far larger machine had rumbled hesitantly inside Ocelot's head as he approached.  
_Ocelot, I have news.  
Yes?  
_ The King Ray's head nodded slowly to itself.  
_I suspect you are right about Sunny. Ingwe has been in communication with someone at BBR. They are indeed keeping an eye on her.  
Ingwe told you this?_  
_No, Crow. Ingwe does seem to want me to believe that Sunny has sold us out though._  
The Wildcat sat down. _How?  
__Sunny_ _has accused you of forcing her cooperation.  
We spoke about that, she and I. _ Ocelot didn't mention that if Sunny had taken that route, she probably had no intention of rejoining him.  
_And may be informing the authorities of where this base is.  
_ The King Ray watched the Wildcat turn its head to the side, whiskers rippling thoughtfully. _Does Ingwe have any proof of this?  
None that she presented.  
Then we can not be sure anything has happened.  
Today she mentioned that it would soon be time to find us both suitable pilots.  
_ The Wildcat's various fins bristled. _In that case she may be trying to justify harming Sunny, make her out to be a threat.  
_ The King Ray shook its head. _Be careful, she may still be trying to lure you away from the base. Think about it, you go running back to Sunny and you could very well make yourself look like a threat, harm Otselotovaya Khvatka personnel and Ingwe will make you out to be a traitor, you'd be cutting yourself off on both sides.  
_ Ocelot sighed. _I know.  
So what are you going to do?  
If anything happens to her I'll have no one who can keep other people out of my head. I have to go to her.  
_ It was Big Boss’ turn to sigh, a light growl. _Are you sure?  
Yes. I don't want to find out first hand if I truly am capable of rejecting a new pilot, and for once, I am forced to admit I don't work best alone..._ He trailed off and looked up at the King Ray.  
The King Ray turned its burning eyes onto him and stared, thinking, for a long time, before finally growling. _Then you'd better go find her.  
Snake?  
You have good instincts, I trust them, go find her. But be careful, we have enough enemies.  
  
_ \---  
  
"Big Boss?"  
"Doctor West, you bring good news I hope?"  
"I'm afraid not... I'm actually looking for Ocelot, I can't find him."  
The King Ray stooped. "What's happened?"  
"I've been looking over these readings, I was concerned by some anomalies he mentioned, and decided to look deeper. There's something not quite right here, and I need to discuss it with him."  
"Is it dangerous?"  
"I'm not sure. Potentially. MB-AIs such as yourself have always had issues with stability, we thought it had been fixed with the Wildcat, but this may indicate otherwise, and if so that has implications for the reprogramming performed on you. It would appear there is some secondary layer to his AI, as if his thought processes are duplicated. Leading to a second developing intelligence under the first, possibly due to rerunning early memories used to trigger the initial AI development."  
"Are you saying he could develop multiple personalities?"  
"I... well in a manner of speaking I suppose so, yes? Or fractured ones..." West rubbed his temples. "I may end up needing a whole new vocabulary for dealing with MB-AIs…"  
"Forget your vocabulary for a moment, Doctor. Is he safe?"  
"For the moment, but who knows how long for. I want to try and interrupt this process as soon as possible. Ingwe… I think she’s aware of this, but I don’t believe she’s behind it. It worries me though, she’s had people monitoring him that I weren’t aware of, and I don’t know how long this has been going on.” He shook his head. “I need to talk to him. Do you know where he is?"  
"Yes…" The King Ray groaned.  
"Where?"  
"Heading back to BBR."


	43. Diplomacy

" _Insults swallowed—none. Enemies—none."_

_"No enemies?"_

_"Alive._ "

\--

The Magnificent Seven

  


The shots ringing out attracted his attention first: loud angry machine gun fire. In the distance too was dust and smoke snaking up into the sky. There was the roar of an approaching engine. The Wildcat stopped hard mid stride and ripped up the road as it ground to a halt. He took a moment to shake branches from between his claws and twitched his head around left and right listening for the direction of the incoming noise. A flock of birds erupted skywards and a moment later a cacophony of squeals and moos revealed why.  
  
A battered four-by-four bounced out from between the trees, hit the rut left by one of the Wildcat's hooves and lurched into a roll. The occupants were thrown out screaming and had vanished under the side of their vehicle by the time the bellowing GEKKO had leapt out onto the road. Ocelot turned to watch as the two AI weapons inspected the shattered bodies left by the vehicle's passing, they mooed to each other as if confirming that their quarry was indeed deceased, and once they’d dispatched the one groaning survivor, they turned their blind faces up to face their larger relative. The Wildcat rumbled softly and the GEKKO shrugged him off as neither a threat or interesting. They shivered hard, expelling waste material carelessly over the car and stalked off the road to whence they'd come.  
  
Ocelot committed them to memory. Dusty yellow GEKKO with crudely painted on red and white toothy mouths, their registration marks obscured and replaced with women's names: Laura and Lana. They were both marred with battle scars and dents. Lana limped. The Wildcat rattled its joints and coughed in the back of its air-ducts and finally decided to follow them. Sticking to the road and making off in the direction of the smoke, the same general direction of the GEKKO.  
  
Before long a column of trucks and a handful of GEKKO, including the two from the roadside, came down the road towards the Wildcat. Even the wheeled vehicles, and the few battle suits riding or marching alongside them were painted in the same aggressive manner as the GEKKO. The snarling mouths were familiar to him and Ocelot started to look back in his memory for when he'd last seen that paint job. A half track leading the convoy had its guns turned towards him, but he stepped aside and off the road to let them pass. Concerned gazes turned suspicious, then twisted into horror as the men whispered among themselves. Ocelot kept a close watch as they passed and saw a man with a close cropped beard lean out of the half-track and scowl up at him. Once the road was clear again Ocelot relaxed. He hadn't really been at risk from much more than superficial damage from those weapons, no doubt why he'd been left alone, but he wasn't looking to tear through unknown militants right at this moment in time... No not unknown. The last time he'd seen that painted on snarl was when recovering Sunny from Otselotovaya Khvatka and the Balam troops. Keeping one eye on the tail end of the convoy behind him he continued on his way towards the smoke, now starting to dissipate and fade into the blue sky.  
  
\---  
  
The town, or village, must have been comfortably prosperous once, and beautiful. It sat half way up the side of a valley, with two sizeable streams bubbling down the hillside either side of it to join the river winding its way through the bottom of the valley. While the outskirts made Ocelot think small farms had once been a driving force of the town, it was now, or it had been until recently, a tourist trap. Small villas with pools empty of water, clustered together waiting for tenants that weren't coming. They'd made easy targets and very few of them had roofs, all walls or windows intact any more. A white washed thoroughfare lead down the hill through town, these days the walls were dusty, dirt speckled and bullet riddled. The road was full of pits and potholes. The half-track had left a clear path in mud and rubble along the road. There were no people on the streets, only a couple of stray cats tearing their way through some rubbish bags while no one was around and a flee bitten dog hiding under a porch. Around the edges of the town were barriers to tanks, coils of razor wire and one or two broken or abandoned machine guns, none of which seemed to belong to the previous residents of the town, the actual owners were nowhere to be seen.  
  
Ocelot dropped down to wait patiently on the edge of the apparently deserted town. Slowly, in dribs and drabs, looking around like scared rabbits, people started to appear in the town. They crept out of hiding spaces silently, until they realised they were no longer under siege, then they started calling out for each other. Yelling in relief when they were reunited with missing friends and relatives and crying out on discovering what had been looted or vandalized. Not too far off from where the Wildcat was laying, two young women were helped out of their home, faces streaked where tears had run through dust, they were the first to spot the Metal Gear and they froze, but as it didn't move or do much of anything they returned to their more immediate problems. They dropped their gazes and helped each other away to some other part of their home town, further away from the hulking machine.  
  
It took a while for the Wildcat's presence to sink into the general populace of the town, but when it did the frightened gazes and whispering spread like fire and a crowd started to appear. Mostly made up of young men and women with angry faces looking for someone to blame for their misfortune, and older people, who seemed more suspicious and curious. They ran back when the Metal Gear got to its feet and folded its forearms behind it, cowered when it towered over them like a giant bird, and flinched when it spoke: "A dark green car, four wheel drive, left the town?"  
  
They looked at each other bemused, but Ocelot spotted one old man drag his hand over his face and a look of grief appear in its wake as he anticipated what was about to be said.  
"The young men in it. They're dead I'm afraid."  
The old man didn't look surprised. "You killed them?" he asked in an empty voice with a heavy accent.  
Ocelot switched smoothly to Spanish. "No." Well, not intentionally. "GEKKO were after them. Who attacked you?"  
A man called out from the back of the crowd. "As if you don't know, shithead!"  
The Wildcat rumbled and turned towards the speaker, the crowd parted like the Red Sea.  
"Humour me."  
"Ignore him," the old man snapped. "They are angry, they take their rage out on anyone they can."  
A woman beside him crossed her arms, she looked worn to a nub. "And why shouldn't we be angry at him? There's only one company around here with the likes of that!" she jabbed one finger with a bruised nail towards the Wildcat. "And they're the reason we're like this!"  
"HA!" the antagonistic speaker barked in agreement.  
  
"I think you have me confused for someone else." Ocelot responded. "Pick your fights carefully woman, I did not come here with conflict on my mind, I followed the smoke."  
"Then who are you? Are you like those men who raid our town? Take what they will then leave us to clean up after them? I had two sons when I woke up this morning, now I'm alone. That's what happens when people like us pick a fight with men like them." He said pointedly, more to the woman than to Ocelot.  
"So you're just going to take it? Until everyone looses their sons? And what of their daughters? Them too?"  
The old man swallowed and blinked back tears, and nodded. "If we had any other choice we'd take it. We're not soldiers, we don't have weapons."  
"I saw them." He rumbled. "You can't challenge those men and their weapons, but I could."  
Disbelieving laughter warbled weakly through the group.  
"What are you, some kind of mercenary?" Someone shouted.  
"Something like that."  
The old man, who seemed the most reasonable held up a hand and silence rippled out with him as the epicentre.  
"It would be easier to talk to you sir, if you'd show your face."  
"It would be difficult to show any face besides this one."  
He stooped until his jaws jutted down into the crowd and forced the people to stumble aside. The cockpit canopy hissed open and he tilted his head this way and that, showing off the empty pilot's seat. Then he shut up the cockpit securely and stood up straight again, preening in front of their dumbfounded looks.  
  
"What—who are you...? What do you want?"  
The Wildcat's whiskers flicked and curled. "My name is... Shalashaska. I could help you, for payment."  
The old man shook his head in disbelief. "What payment can we offer you?"  
"I may one day be in need of a refuge; for myself or one of my companions. That is the payment I ask for, connections, support. If I call upon you, you answer."  
"Why? Why do you need a safe place?"  
Ocelot turned sharply to the woman who spoke up, she had hard grey eyes and tightly restrained hair.  
"Why does anyone?"  
  
The people turned to the old man who'd taken the lead speaking with the Wildcat, they waited for his opinion, his decision. He nodded slowly.  
"We can supply those things, if we are protected."  
"Wonderful," he purred. "So explain to me your situation."  
  
Piedra Blanca had lost its tourist trade when the skirmishes over the borders had gotten too close for the comfort of the holiday makers. For a while journalists had stayed in the hotel, but then they too ran out of things to keep them here, and they'd moved on. For a long while the town had struggled to survive. Many of the youths left to join PMCs, a few came back, those who could started to cut back the encroaching plant life and started to expand the small plots of farmland around the town. Then prosperity of a sort returned: the borders shifted and a new supply route was set up, it passed through Piedra Blanca and soon the infrastructure that came with the military presence was supporting the town, the farms were encouraged in exchange for fresh food and this had lasted nearly five years. Then a competing company from the south pushed their patron out, they took over what had been left behind and made the town their base of operations.  
Those, the old man told Ocelot, had been dark days.  
  
Things got better when Otselotovaya Khvatka had turned its eyes on the town. The PMC launched an attack over rights to the town and won. It wasn't so bad under their control, they'd needed a source of food, and a place to house their soldiers and their commander wanted little to do with the locals, they’d lived peaceably side by side. Slowly over time the number of Otselotovaya Khvatka soldiers on site had dwindled, and recently they'd left entirely.  
  
"The Balam have been here for months now, every few weeks they come at us. They could wipe us out if they wanted to but they only demand we give them information, or that Otselotovaya Khvatka personnel show themselves." The old man shook his head. "They aren't here, but the Balam don't listen to us. We can tell them nothing, we don't know where they went or why they're wanted."  
"I do." Ocelot said. "They were used and betrayed by Otselotovaya Khvatka."  
"Then they will come at us again and again until they force us out or see that their enemy is long gone."  
"They know me, I will attempt to speak with them. Who is their leader?"  
"Alaniz."  
"Alaniz?" Ocelot snorted. "So that was who I saw glowering at me. What can you tell me about him?"  
"He'll think himself into an early grave, lots of thoughts but rarely the right ones. His second in command is his eyes and ears, he needs him, Alaniz spends too much time inside his own head to see for himself."  
The Old Man looked up as Wildcat sighed heavily and with remorse.  
"I think he could have been an interesting opponent once."  
"Once?"  
"I would prefer to settle this diplomatically, but if he forces my hand it'll be like fighting with an ant, I take no pleasure in that."  
"You were not always this way then, friend?"  
"Were any of us?"  
The Old Man smirked. "It is true, we all change, but not often so dramatically. You have had many opponents?"  
"As many as years of my life, at least that's how it feels."  
"You were a soldier once?" the Old Man raised his eyebrows as Ocelot nodded. "I guessed as much. What else?"  
"Else?"  
"You don't have the voice of a young man, Shalashaska. What were you before, or after your soldiering?"  
"There wasn't anything else."  
"Nothing? You have lived a closed life my friend, if war is all you've known. No family? No love? Just war?"  
"Family? Love?" the Old Man looked up squinting against the glare of the sun. "I have had both, and more besides, but in the end it all seems the same."  
"You see no difference between love and war?"  
"They bring people together, and rip them apart." He said coldly.  
"Ahh... I see."  
"What?"  
"I pray you find peace soon my friend and a better kind of love."  
"I'm not sure there's any such thing for men like me." The Wildcat stood up. "Gather everyone together, I have a job for them."  
  
\---  
  
"You think they'll show up?"  
"I have no doubts someone is watching this town, they're waiting for Otselotovaya Khvatka to show up. They may have been attracted by my approach, but this will certainly help bring them in." He flexed his claws into the dirt, his head ached constantly now. A nagging voice at the back of his mind told him being here was a waste of time, that he was a waste of time, that he should just give up and stay behind, leave Sunny, be alone, she wouldn't want him. He shook his head to dispel the thoughts. No. He said firmly to himself. Sunny hasn't told you what she wants yet, don't start thinking like that.  
  
The Wildcat had remained alongside the main road leading out of town for a night and a day as the towns people ripped down the more tattered buildings to create barricades on the roads and reinforce the walls. The Old Man had told Ocelot there were no fighters among them, and he was right, but Ocelot could give the people here advice on defending themselves.  
"Keep them out." Ocelot had instructed. "Keep them out of the town and I will do the rest, but I cannot move among the buildings. If you want your town left standing then close up all these roads."  
  
Now shut out from the town he waited, dormant, plagued by his own thoughts. The sun was setting when his attention was roused. A GEKKO, two men on motorbikes and a light armoured vehicle came down the road purposefully. They halted at the sight of the Metal Gear getting up and moving to stand straddling the road, blocking their path.  
  
The Balam soldiers stopped a hundred meters away and a bald man with sunglasses stepped out of the vehicle and stepped forwards, ripped his cigarette from between his lips like it disgusted him and called out: "I know you! You're the one who attacked us a few months back! Yeah... Saw you on the road the other day. So, Otselotovaya Khvatka have finally come back here." He gestured to one of the bikers who turned about and went back the way they'd come, bouncing over the rough track.  
  
"No." Ocelot watched the man retreat up to a short distance away, just far enough to make his get away if need be. "They have abandoned this place, I came here on my own and found this place by following your tracks. These people have hired me for their protection," Ocelot called back, his voice a bellow that rumbled through the valley. "But you do know me, and I know you."  
The bald man grinned, shaking his head. "Na, I don't think so."  
"You were made promises, given a young woman to interrogate, and left to be scapegoats when I arrived to take her back. Otselotovaya Khvatka lied to you and put you between me and my pilot."  
The bald man narrowed his eyes. "What's this about?"  
"These people have done nothing but remain in their homes while PMCs like yourself and Otselotovaya Khvatka sweep through. Now the people you seek have abandoned them, they do not know what to tell you or where to send you. But I do, and I want you to leave them alone."  
"Oh yeah? You'll tell us those cowards have fucked off out of here and we'll just leave? We're not gonna just forget what you did to us, just because you figure you know what happened."  
"Reparations." Ocelot said. "Forget your revenge, you won't be able to defeat Otselotovaya Khvatka, they are too numerous and too well armed. I am only one of a number of Metal Gear at their disposal, and if you had even one it would be here today to face me."  
The bald man glanced at his companion who grimaced subtly.  
  
"So take this back to your commander: Wait, leave a contact here at the town and I shall return in due time with the news you desire. The command of Otselotovaya Khvatka will be changing in the not so distant future. Otselotovaya Khvatka was once my unit, I intend to take it back. When I do, you will have an ally in me, an on going alliance. The traitors will be handed over to you of course. I have no use for them in my ranks. We will discuss what is fair repayment for what happened to you." He tilted his head, inspecting the grim look on the other man's face. "My partner was badly hurt because of those people, they tricked me, drew me in and made use of me, I too want revenge and to take back what is mine."  
"And why should we trust you?" He spat.  
"You have another option."  
"Oh yeah?"  
The Metal Gear's cannon swivelled around to face the man.  
"You could make an enemy of me. I take care of the traitors myself, and your company gets nothing, your prospects would be few and you would be a competitor."  
  
The bald man weighed up his options then reluctantly said: "I shall take your offer back to the chief, we shall return shortly to give you our answer."  
The Wildcat looked over its shoulder and gestured. "Old Man, come here."  
They waited patiently as The Old Man shuffled at top speed across to them.  
"I will not be here much longer. I shall wait a further 24 hours for your answer, but this man is my representative. Any further contact can be made through him."  
"And if we turn down your offer?"  
"Then Otselotovaya Khvatka will make good use of what you leave behind."  
The bald man pursed his lips and nodded. "Who do I say I've been talking with? Shalashaska?"  
"Correct, and you?"  
He sucked on his teeth. "Lugo. So. It is true, you have returned, as another man's weapon."  
"Times are changing."


	44. Alliance

" _They might fight with us, but they don't fight for us._ "

\--

Christopher Paolini, Eldest

  


  


Ocelot slept while he waited, conserving energy where he could.  
People came over and walked around the silent still Metal Gear and got a good look at it from close up, shaking their heads at the scars in its armour, or the size of its claws. He missed a small a neurotic family decide he was possessed and try to perform an exorcism on him, and regretted it when the Old Man, laughing, told him.  
"I would have liked to have seen that." Ocelot mumbled as the first notes of approaching tyres reached his microphones.  
  
Lugo and Alaniz lead the procession in. Lugo looked blank faced and resigned, Alaniz chewed angrily on a long stemmed match—which was more intimidating than chewing your lip—and glared forwards at the town, until Ocelot stood up out of the tree line and stepped forwards to meet them. Then Alaniz closed his eyes and clearly took a deep breath as the car rolled to a halt. They did not switch off the engine. Alaniz and Lugo marched forwards and Ocelot took a step to get closer to them.  
  
The Balam men looked the machine up and down. Taking in the claws digging into the ground, the gently curving missile silos that were attached to the forelimbs and the complex but heavily armoured shoulders. Due to the size of the Wildcat's shoulders and forearms, its waist and back end were mostly out of sight, but its thick tail gently swayed in and out of sight with enough strength to level buildings. Their eyes finally drew away from the tail, nearly as long as the rest of the machine, and up its thick black and copper neck to its sneering dragonish face, completed by symmetric stripes of dark grey camouflage and the whole body shimmering ever so slightly iridescent, betraying the armour as being more than simple paint on steel, but a lighter more complex composite and covering. The Wildcat was a long limbed elegant machine such as they hadn't appreciated in the first encounter, they had no reason to doubt its speed or power. Or words.  
  
Alaniz took the match from his mouth as he approached and flicked it aside before half reaching out a hand automatically. Ocelot chuckled, and the Balam general felt it in the bones of his legs.  
"My apologies General Alaniz, I am not equipped for such niceties." Alaniz dropped his hand. "I hope you have given my offer thought?"  
"I have." Alaniz smiled. "So I've been hearing things, Shalashaska. Did some reading too, know your enemy and all that." The Wildcat remained impassive, unmoving, unmoved. "Hero's Sword? That's what they called you?" He nodded. "Doesn't go with your legacy until you look closer though, does it?"  
"It's a portmanteau." Ocelot finally answered.  
"Yeah. The other part from ah... a type of gulag. Doesn't reflect as well on you."  
"It's accurate."  
"Yeah. Well, Hero's Sword, who's your hero?" Alaniz glanced at Lugo. "You're impressive I'll give you that, but you're still a weapon, who welds you, your pilot? And where is the little woman?"  
The Wildcat's tail stopped swaying.  
"If you've been doing your research then you should know."  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Big Boss is back."  
  
There was a drawn out moment of silence as Alaniz wrestled with this concept.  
"Big Boss died in the 90s," he finally laughed. "You can't fool me."  
The Wildcat's fangs flashed in the sun as it said: "I came back."  
Doubt flashed across the Balam leader's face and he nodded. "Yeah, you sure did, caused a lot of trouble for a lot of people too. Yeah okay, I'd heard rumours, thought it was just shit being stirred up." He patted his pockets, no doubt looking for a replacement match. "So it's true then?"  
"Yes. Which is why I hope you considered my offer well. Otselotovaya Khvatka will remain under my jurisdiction, but I answer to Outer Heaven. We seek to build a network. PMCs see enough of each other on other peoples' battlefields, must we make wars of our own?"  
Alaniz found a slim box and turned it over in his hands idly. "Big Boss needs allies?"  
"He wants allies."  
"So if it goes like you say: you get your army, he gets his nation, and if we play along, we get the people who threw us into the fire and reparations?"  
"Exactly."  
"And...?"  
"And an on going partnership to the mutual benefit of Outer Heaven and the Balam."  
Alaniz shook his head. "Na see, I know about Outer Heaven, if we ally ourselves with that we don't get to remain Balam, we just get absorbed, like Diamond Dogs did back in the 80s."  
"You really have done your research," Ocelot purred. "But not everything is in the history books. Diamond Dogs was a distraction, to hold the public's attention while Outer Heaven was built, it was never an independent company. No one is forced to join, General, if you seek a merger you would be welcome I'm sure, but it is by no means a certain outcome."  
"Huh, say that’s true, and if things don't work out? You're not exactly a free man right now, upped and tricked Benedict Business? Come running down here on your own mission then send your pilot back home alone all messed up? You're a wanted man, you go even near a US patrol and they'll—"  
"What?"  
Alaniz looked him up and down. "Yeah okay, I get it, you're a Metal Gear, that doesn't make you invincible."  
"I know that, but I think BBR will see it my way. Alaniz, what did you mean 'messed up'?"  
"Eh, well there's been photos online, back when she first took up being your pilot and now." He shrugged. "She looks like someone been through a war zone, that's all I'm saying."  
Inwardly Ocelot checked his files and winced at the changes he saw.  
  
–-  
  
Alaniz, the tight lipped Lugo and the handful of people with them were offered a meal and drinks, their talks continued and as the day started to draw to a close and the sky grew dusky Alaniz sat back in his chair, looked out over the open air tables towards the rosy west and nodded to himself.  
"Shalashaska, we accept your terms."


	45. Choices

" _The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt._ "

\--

Bertrand Russell

  


Ocelot finally broke his cover from the pine-oak forest and strode out for the mesquite grasslands, the beginning of this side of what was known as the Bufferlands. A short squall of rain had just passed over. The patrol he’d been waiting for had just vanished into the gloom and he had to resist the urge to bolt for it. A running Metal Gear was noticeable, but walking carefully and low and gently putting down his feet and he might just be able to slip by. Minutes ticked by but nothing came shooting at him, no shouts that would indicate anyone had been alerted to his presence. The Wildcat stopped, crouching low and half turned around, scanning the area for heat signatures and lights in the confusing post-rain mist. There was nothing there, the patrol was gone and probably at the apex of its route now. Its claws sunk deep into the rocky earth and the Wildcat shot off through the last few sparse trees and into the grassland.  
  
The weather wasn’t done with him yet though. It wasn’t long before lightning crackled overhead, long fingers looping from cloud to cloud across the wide flat lands, having escaped the pull of the mountains. A faint blue discharge built up around the Wildcat's spines and whipping tail. The rain coughed and spluttered, trying to come down hard and failing, becoming a mist in the warm air and for Ocelot the world was a hazy sea of yellow, irrespective of how he tried to look at things. He kept his gaze on the ground in front of him, seeking out trips and falls in the rough land. Skipping over a fallen vehicle here, or diverting around slick walled craters there. The Wildcat’s hide gleamed with every lightning strike. For a long time the struggling rain and thunder and the sound of his pounding footfalls were the only sounds out there. Ocelot had gratefully accepted that the weather would be his only companion on the treacherous way home, knowing that that meant solitude and safety. There wouldn’t be any patrols out here until he reached Texas, or New Mexico, he hadn’t quite decided how to make his approach yet, but he had time.  
  
Then the other sounds had started.  
  
There had always been whispers, doubts. Was it the same now as before? He wasn’t sure, sometimes he thought so, other times it seemed more vehement, but like before, as when he was a man of flesh and blood, the thoughts, the whispers, had vanished with human companionship. Now they were back, preying on his solitude and questions. On the endless stretches of land in either direction. The choices he could be making, and had made. The widening gap between him and Nicaragua.  
  
He started to think that maybe he was very very wrong in doing this. That after all this time, all this work, he was just leaving Big Boss, unable to defend himself, to the whims of people who could not be trusted. That he was alone, in danger, he NEEDED Ocelot, now more than ever, and yet here he was, running back to someone who would be far far happier without him. Putting all this space between them, days of travel, days of risk. Hadn't he made this mistake before? Coming back when he was better off gone? Going when he was better off staying? He never made the right choices. Why not make the right one now? Go back, go back while it’s not too late!  
  
The urge became so strong, so decisive that he'd slid to a halt and turned back, staring back across the grasslands, which to sight alone seemed superficially identical in all directions, only his inhuman senses told him otherwise. Then with a vicious shake of his head he pulled himself back on track.  
  
No. Not this time, this time Big Boss would just have to fend for himself, Ingwe, he thought, wanted Big Boss, he was safest there. At least for now.  
You don't know Sunny isn't safe.  
"No." He said aloud to the dying storm, as if the spoken word might have more weight than the silent. "But I need to know the truth from her, if she's going to lead people back to us, and I need to KNOW she's safe."  
Fool, the thoughts told him, stupid old man can't ever think clearly, always been the same way haven't you? You always bend over backwards for them, these little pet projects of yours and then what? They all end the same way. All dead.  
"No, I don't know that."  
The desert, the snow, the city, the island... A slow death under the sun? A bullet? A broken heart? Cancer…? What will take Sunny's life? Will it be you this time?  
The Wildcat snarled and bucked violently, trying to kick off the weight on its shoulders, trying to push off the intrusive thoughts. To fill every inch of its own body and force out the intruder. It landed and stood stock still and shaking. Ocelot shut out the outside world, withdrew inside of himself, gave up the space. He checked them off his fingers, his failures, and reminded himself of the choices the dead had made too.  
  
"Not my fault." He told himself.  
Yes it was.  
"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" The bellow rolled with the distant thunder and when the noise passed, silence reigned. The Wildcat hung its head and slowly sunk to its knees.  
"Oh... But it was." The sneering voice whispered.  
  
Ocelot buried himself deep, putting up his walls in fear of the darkness as the memories pressed in hard and fast, but as quickly as he defended himself he reached out and found another, and another, he couldn't stop himself. Like a series of matryoshka dolls, each one with a more tempting horror inside, the memories and thoughts peeled back until he was wallowing in a sea of self inflicted misery.  
Get up, he told himself, but didn't.  
Get up and get moving, and it'll pass. It always passes.  
"Go back."  
"No."  
The Wildcat lifted its head, mud clung to its jaws.  
"Go back to where you belong, go back to him."  
"I... Let them all down by not doing what I was supposed to. By not doing what I should do, for them."  
"If you stay in her life. She'll die."  
"We all die sooner or later."  
"Sooner for her."  
"I can protect her."  
"You couldn't protect anyone."  
"Then it doesn't matter where I go then, does it? So calm your shit you absolute nuisance!" Ocelot scowled and the Wildcat arched its back and tail, head tilting back towards the heavens, rain washing it clean. "I don't know what's wrong with me, but I do know that if it wants me to go back so badly, I probably shouldn't." He felt somewhat smug at this concept, particularly when the other voice inside his head raged in response.  
  
\---  
  
She was struggling to focus.  
She knew there were people looking at her, talking to her, with her in fact. But she was answering on rote, the story she had decided on came naturally to her, she didn't notice Hal's frustrated look from the other side of the table as she told the group a different story to what she'd told him. She was aware that she needed to focus, to get back to the present and take care of the hole she'd dug for herself by helping Ocelot, but it was easier to wonder how she'd got here, and to try and remember how long it'd been since she'd left on the foolish mission that had lead here. It seemed like forever ago but parts of it stood out in stark painful clarity in her mind, while today, the present, was a blur.  
  
Sunny flinched and looked up in panic when someone grabbed her shoulder. Hal lifted his hand from where he'd patted her shoulder and stepped back from her wild look. "Are you okay?"  
"Huh?"  
He looked up at the head of the table. "Mr Lewis, I think we're going to need to take a break."  
How long had she'd been just sitting there?  
The increasingly dark eyed man's lips tightened further and he sighed through his nose. "Very well."  
  
"You were really out of it in there."  
"Mn."  
"Are you okay?"  
"Y-yeah…"  
"Do you want to go home?"  
"Go home?" Hal handed her a cup of water and she stared blankly at the paper cup before hesitantly taking it. "I still have work to do."  
"You've been getting worse since you came home, won't you talk to me?"  
She stared into the bottom of the water as if looking for answers.  
"I'm tired."  
"Well, it's been a long few days, I think you should get an early night tonight, I'll get dinner on the table earlier, okay?"  
"'k."  
  
It wasn't that simple, since loosing the connection with the Wildcat she'd started to sleep fitfully. She'd had a couple of nights of deep dreamless sleep before the nightmares had returned, and often they didn't go away completely even when she woke up. She'd taken to sleeping with the light on the last couple of nights, to scare away the shadows. It was getting harder to focus during the day now too, writing down the past had become her primary distraction, hoping it would give the shadows a place to live. But then she'd been called in to explain the failure of her mission at BBR and she was lost inside her own head, at least she thought it was, didn't always feel quite like hers.  
  
"Sunny?"  
"Hmn?"  
"You were zoning out again."  
"S-sorry…"  
"I should take you home."  
"No, I s-still have work to d-do." She tried to move past him but he stopped her.  
"Look, Sweetheart, I don't know what's going on in your head right now, but I want to help. You know I'm here for you?"  
She hesitated then nodded. "T-thanks, Uncle Hal. I just n-need to get my head s-straight, that's a-all."  
"We'll finish this up quickly and get out of here okay? I don't think facing all these questions is good for you."  
She made a quiet noise, gaze drifting off to the wall before she muttered something disjointed and walked back towards the meeting room. Hal shook his head sadly.  
"What do I do, Dave?" he sighed, "I always thought she took after you, but she's so different now. You understood her best, what do I do?"  
  
\---  
  
Ocelot focused his gaze on the hazy horizon. He ignored his doubts and worries and while he couldn't ignore the voice, which after its tantrum came back with more demands that he go back and forget "the girl", he could taunt it and eventually it shut up and left him alone. It had felt good, he felt confident again.  
  
Then the songs started.  
  
There was no other word he could think to put to them. Wailing didn't seem to do it justice, in the same way that wailing didn't do whale song justice, and whale song was what he compared the songs too. Though unlike the songs of great marine cetaceans these sounds cut deep into his circuitry and made, in a peculiar wordless way that made the human part of his brain swim, total sense. The Wildcat didn't stop moving, though it slowed to a thoughtful trot, letting the sounds wash over it and speak to it, Ocelot felt his personality shying away as the synthetic sounds spoke directly to something more basal, more electronic than his consciousness could cope with. He let it draw him on, turning off his path in curiosity. As a scavenger zeroed in on the sounds of thrashing and crying, he zeroed in on blips on the radar, familiar signatures. After a good quarter of an hour he was within sight of a distant group of lanky ghosts and he knew them. He recognised them and felt their intentions deep in whatever passed for his gut these days. The long drawn out wail of the RAYs surrounded him now. All of them, so far from the ocean, and singing, talking, together. The strange cries were puzzling to Ocelot. As he considered them, there was a distant cry. An individual had gotten lost in the storm?  
  
The rain had stopped a long time ago, twilight was deepening by the moment and the intermittent wails added an ethereal quality to the beautiful if barren landscape. Ocelot—whose curiosity and attention was pushing some hidden instinct awoken by the song back down and below his conscious mind—could see now that he and the other Metal Gear were moving in almost the same direction, he wondered if he should wait for them to cross his path before making his continued way back to BBR. BBR? He shook his foggy head. The RAY seemed uninterested in him now, but there was a group of at least 3 RAY out here, of unknown intentions, it might be safer to wait.  
  
Another cry, further from the others and of a different timbre whistled through the grass. Electrical connections in Ocelot's head lit up and his speakers came online before he realised what he was doing, as the urge to answer it built up stronger than ever.  
“I'm here..." He said to the open air instead, swallowing his own cries before they could come to fruition, but not the sentiment. His voice sounded weak in the face of the endless plains. He stood rocking between two possible paths. Watched the ghosts walking away from him, whispering through the grasses, avoiding the twisted trees.  
  
"Look at you, old man. Lost in the plains—" the fact that his navigation systems had him well on track didn't seem to occur to him. He didn’t even look at them. "—Can't help your self, can't help John, sent Sunny into danger for no damn reason, can't even fight properly, so needy you'll even call out to a stranger for company. No, not a stranger, a robot, and you're feeling bad for it? You're pathetic." He shut off his cameras and listened to the land, not needing to worry about exposure made the experience of the encroaching night far more enjoyable, and for a while it worked as a distraction, a way to shut out the voice. It didn't work long, his fingers itched, god to be able to really touch something again…  
"They were reassuring weren't they? Hard, cold, reliable, unlike you. Your guns could do the job."  
"I did my job well…"  
"You were a fuck up, spent your whole life running away from your failures. And when you can't run any more you sit in the dirt in the desert."  
"I succeeded…"  
"A dead woman and a little girl did the job you couldn't, and all you can think about is drowning your sorrows and neurosis in gun play, you came close, so close, but look at you, your belief in the man was flawed, another failure, so you ran away."  
"That's not true." His cameras came back online and he turned his flood lights on full to look back over his shoulder from whence he'd come. Was that even the right way?  
"I've not given up on him, he'll be okay again one day."  
"You keep telling yourself that, but why else won't you go back? Really? You had your chance to back a winner, and you chose a demented old man instead, you love struck fool."  
"Shut up." And then, because he could and he felt spiteful. “At least someone cared about me.”  
“You keep telling yourself that.”  
He shook himself again and strode off after the RAY, and the next time the RAY cried out, he moved into a trot and bugled back. Instantly the cry came again, more desperate than before, a signal for assistance, he adjusted his trajectory and headed towards it.  
  
\---  
  
The RAY was wallowing on its belly, its ballast wings digging into the dirt as it heaved itself along like a seal, one of its legs was twisted badly at the ankle, and dragging pathetically behind it. The other RAY hung over it like stubby winged vultures. The Wildcat rumbled, and the downed RAY stopped struggling and turned to look up with three dim eyes, the forth already blacked out. It was a very old machine, half the armour plates on its shoulders had fallen away, it was encrusted in dried broken barnacles. Tellingly the cockpit canopy was cracked almost in two. This old RAY hadn't touched water in years, and having it looking up at him, obviously low in energy and worn down and very much acting alone—what person would send a RAY in this state out on a mission? Ocelot justified, but he'd just known, maybe had always known, from the first notes of song he'd heard; every one of these machines was an individual—was haunting.  
  
This RAY was an old thing, Ocelot thought, and for all his memories he was what? Two? Less than two years old. Ocelot considered the old machine at his feet for a moment then stooped over its back leg for a closer look. There was a red sheen of nanomachines trying to fix it, but it was a pathetic attempt, there was a fraction of the natural amount of liquid sliding over it, fighting a loosing battle against the injury. Damage, Ocelot corrected himself. He dropped his head and considered the damage, coiled all his whiskers about the battered calf and ankle and twisted them back into alignment. What happened to you? He wondered, as the RAY lay in the mud and let him manipulate its limb. A liquid stream, moving unnaturally, of the Wildcat's own nanomachines flowed from the tips of his manipulator arms, communicated quickly with the native ones then poured over the damaged ankle.  
  
It was nearly an hour later that the waterproofing finally turned from a thin pathetic webbing to a solid shield over the repaired joint, borrowing material from the Wildcat's own thick protective joint coverings. Ocelot waited for his nanomachines to return to where they were supposed to be while contentedly watching the RAY wobble to its feet. The other Metal Gear sung in triumph, its companions, who'd looked on quietly the whole time warbled and trilled in response then as a group turned their blue eyes on him. They glittered in the dark, iridescent through the scars of age. Then as one they turned away and left.  
  
Ocelot watched the group fade into the night, wondering just where Metal Gear went when no one wanted them any more. He stretched and found again his heading and turned towards it, pondering what had just happened. He hadn't heard anything about unmanned Metal Gear of that age out here, surely they weren't totally unheard of? A group of nomadic RAY had to have been spotted before. And their song... Their cries had been a distinct attempt at communication, and Ocelot suspected his lack of full comprehension was not due to any inability on behalf of the RAY, but his own mind's inability to process their sounds. There had been something satisfying about his encounter with the other machine, it brought back memories, good ones, when he was more than just an interrogator, when he could be so much more, and, without the intervention of humans, he realised, Metal Gear for all their designed purposes were not inclined to butcher each other at a moment's whim. He smiled to himself, machines of war and even they had a choice.  
  
\---  
  
"You'll be alright on your own, honey?"  
"S-sure I will," she smiled over her shoulder with a wave. "I'll be back s-soon."  
She'd taken to walking a lot recently, it had started out as way to clear out of the oppressive closeness of her own room without getting under her uncle's feet, he meant well but there was only so many times Sunny could bare to hear "are you okay?" in one day.  
  
No, no I'm not, but the words clogged in the back of her throat and wouldn't come and besides, she could see he wanted to ask about Ocelot now himself. Why she had two stories. What the real story was. Was he coming back? She dreaded answering those questions as she dreaded the night. The light fended off the darkness, but it didn't help push back the intrusive thoughts, and when she finally fell into fitful sleep she would invariably wake up from a nightmare, or worse, fail to wake up from a nightmare. Usually ones where Hal and Ocelot hadn't come for her, or found her and belittled her for her failures and she lost Ocelot to Ingwe straight away, as he sneered and rejected her as a failure. Sometimes she dreamed she waited for him and he never came and woke up in a crushing depression that had her laying immobile and sleepless, other times he came back and that was worse. How many times was she going to wake up from the sight of his gun turning towards her?  
  
She told herself a hundred times a day that Ocelot was not coming back. She figured that even if he did, it was best she lived believing he wouldn't. At least then she could move on, and cross the bridge of being wrong later. She told herself it a hundred times a day, and sometimes came close to believing it, but then she'd catch herself trying to speak to him, scanning for the link between her nanomachines and his computers, and she'd remember, and look out of the town to the empty horizon, and hope. How many people, she wondered, how many people had stared out at the horizon, and hoped to see him coming back?  
  
She kicked a pebble along the pavement, the skittering noise distracted her for a moment, then it plopped off the pavement and down a drain and her focus snapped back to the numbing fingers that had a grasp on her thoughts. If she'd just been stronger, if she'd just been smarter, this wouldn't have happened. None of it. She was naive and stupid and he'd played her for a fool. Of course he had, that's what Ocelot does. She scuffed her toe against the tarmac and stumbled, maybe he'd been using the Wildcat's strengths to influence her will, but it didn't matter, she'd still known. Leopards could not change their spots, and neither could ocelots it seemed, and she'd known, and trusted him anyway. She hiccuped. It didn't help though, knowing she was one of long line of fools. She headed towards the outskirts of town, where she thought she could hide and be alone with her thoughts for a while.  
"I should just count myself lucky he left me alive."


	46. Conviction

_"Doubt thou the stars are fire,_  
_Doubt that the sun doth move._  
_Doubt truth to be a liar,_  
_But never doubt I love_."

\--

Shakespeare, Hamlet

 

"You want me to what?"  
"Nothing much, just talk to her, find out things."  
"Like what?"  
The man with the cigarette clinging to his bottom lip smiled. "Find out what their real plan is. I don't believe she's come back alone because Ocelot is 'tired' of her, or whatever her excuse was, and I don't want her to leave that house without my knowing about it."  
Rich scuffed the ground with the toe of his trainers. "You expecting the Metal Gear to come back too?"  
"I don't think their partnership is over."  
"'Cos I don't want to piss it off, see?"  
"Do your job right, and he won't have a reason to be angry at you."  
"It's already angry at me, I don't know what the hell I ever did but it has never liked me."  
  
Bennett stared at him a moment then moved the conversation along: "Find out if and when the Wildcat is due to arrive here, and why she's here, that's all you have to do."  
"Okay, lets say I can, how am I supposed to know if she's telling the truth?" Rich sneered. "The way that thing has her wrapped around its little finger I doubt she'll talk to me at all, let alone anything important like that."  
"You might be surprised." The man bared his nicotine stained teeth. "I've been watching her too. She doesn't want to be here, alone and unhappy, she might be waiting for the chance to open up. Remember, her connection with the Wildcat was deep, and its been severed, she wants to connect to someone. Better she connect with us than someone else, eh? And Shalashaska isn't here to turn her head... You do want to get her back don't you? He's the only thing getting in your way, without him lying and making you look bad, she'll be bound to want you back."  
Rich thought about this, then shook his head. "Yeah well, maybe, but I want to get back at... Shalalaska for what he did. Made me look like a fucking idiot."  
"And so you will, your information is vital to us in removing Shalashaska as an obstacle, you'll see the end of him." He saw the flicker of hesitation in Rich's eyes and quickly continued. "Sunny needs a shoulder to lean on, according to you she's been avoiding her home so her uncle isn't providing that shoulder just now, make sure the one she opens up to is you!"  
Rich snorted. "She's not gonna let me in if I go to her house, her uncle won't neither, I knocked the other day, told me to leave."  
"She's been walking along the edge of the road to the bus stop on the edge of town."  
"When?"  
"Most evenings."  
"How do you know this?"  
The man peeled the cigarette from his dry lips and tapped the ash free. "You think you're the only one keeping an eye on things around here?"  
Rich scowled petulantly. "Don't see why you need me then—"  
"Because she knows you." He snapped.  
  
Bennett ground out the cigarette with his heel as Rich speed walked away, trying to look casual. He wasn't much of a spy, but then he didn't really have to be. Shalashaska was out of the way, Sunny's constant companion for nearly two years now, she would be vulnerable. There was something on her mind, and Bennett wanted to know what it was. If she wouldn't cooperate with Rich, then they'd get it from her in other ways. He looked up over the empty plains, when he'd gotten the message that the Wildcat had left he'd expected it to appear on Sunny's doorstep in the same time it had taken to get to Otselotovaya Khvatka, but instead the Wildcat was already two days 'late'. Was it not returning here?  
He narrowed his eyes.  
"What are you up to Shalashaska?"  
  
\---  
  
Snake stared unfeelingly out of the hangar doors, a light rain was falling—the tail end of the storm that had swept over the day before. He wondered idly if Ocelot had seen anything of the bad weather, but he didn't cling to the thoughts long. There was movement on the base, but little of it interested him, he only knew the training programs Ocelot had set in motion had been overruled and he didn't approve. Mostly he was bored, bored of sitting here, bored of not being interested in anything, bored of feeling numb.  
  
"Good morning, sir. How are you today?"  
His head listed to the side like a ship sliding into the trough of a giant wave and he eyed up the scarred woman looking up at him, her dark eyes gleaming, even though one was perpetually bloodshot and possibly faulty from the damage that had been done.  
"I am bored." He answered shortly, recognising a flash of disappointment in her expression but not responding to it. "Any news from Ocelot?"  
She stared at a spot somewhere past his head. "By tomorrow afternoon we'll be bringing in your new legs, hopefully by the end of the week you'll be standing again, though until your tail is—"  
"Ocelot."  
"There has been no news... I’m sorry to say I'm not surprised he ran away. It is after all a normal part of his M.O."  
"He didn't run away." Snake said firmly. "So there has been no news? Doctor West was concerned about his mental state."  
Ingwe snorted derisively. "There has been nothing. Sir, I fear he may be a threat to us. Not only would I not expect his return, but I believe he actually fears you regaining your full strength, now that you have me."  
"Why you?"  
"Because I remember the truth about what he did!"  
"What he did?" He echoed.  
  
Ingwe looked up at the massive shadow of the King Ray leaning over her and smiled.  
"He isn't here now, so of course we can talk about it if you like, sir. Think back, remember how he learnt that Solid Snake was coming and immediately ran from Zanzibar Land, abandoning you after you told him the truth of the battle that awaited us. If it wasn't for him, you—and so many others—would have survived that day. It was him that allowed Zanzibar Land to fall! If he had been there everything would have been different."  
Inwardly Snake frowned in consternation, the idea that Ocelot alone could have diverted Zanzibar's fate was baffling, though maybe not impossible, it had certainly never occurred to him to pivot his entire nation's survival on one agent's shoulders, no matter how strong they might be.  
  
Ingwe was still talking: "I was there. I was only a little girl, but I remember all of it clearly, how you beat him for trying to leave, but you had to let him go, there was too much to do. He abandoned you!"  
"I..." he muttered.  
"He abandoned us! He was always so ready to make promises, to cling to your side, for his protection, for his gain—"  
"He came to warn me." Snake said to himself.  
"—but the moment there's danger, a better opportunity, a prettier face, he's gone. Then with you out of the picture, he could only hope to regain the power he'd had at your side by weaselling up to the creatures history dares call your 'sons'!" She took a deep shuddering breath. "And when Solid Snake threatened to take it all away again, he tried to bring the whole world to ruin so he alone could have power."  
"Ingwe..." Snake growled, but stopped himself, watching instead as she reached up and ran her palms over her skull.  
"You'll remember, sir. I know you will, he's told you lies and your memories are confused, but you'll remember the truth. Now that he's gone you'll see. See, he left because he knows you'll remember. Now I must leave, sir, and over see the progress on your repairs." She bowed her head in respect as she turned stiffly and left.  
  
Snake watched her leave, mind reeling from her outburst. It seemed like a bad argument to him, Ocelot left because he was afraid Snake would see the truth? But he could only see the truth if Ocelot left? He shook his head. The truth. He looked inwards; he was getting better at this accessing memories lark. He was still nervous of getting stuck in a loop again, but the temptation to escape to happier times defeated him. Now he reached for something less cheerful.  
  
Pale walls, painted with steep angular shadows, shored up around him, marking out the edges of an office. Ah yes, without Kaz he'd had to step up to the plate on that one. It had nearly made him ask Ocelot if he would stay, anything to have some help with this sort of work. He was staring down at some sheet of... Something. His mind elsewhere, but the complex was prepared, everyone had their work given to them, he was ready. He closed his eyes, listening to shutters being drawn for the evening, rattling steel dropping in its runners. It seemed like the end of just another day, but out there, maybe already inside the walls, Solid Snake was creeping closer.  
The door burst open and Big Boss looked up, temper flaring, he didn't have time for—"Ocelot?"  
  
Ocelot was at his desk in a handful of too-long strides. He was breathing heavily, his grey hair dishevelled and oily, he must have travelled solidly to get here so quickly, and ahead of Snake. Big Boss' eyes landed on the strands of usually silvery hair snagged on Ocelot's lips then dragged his eyes upwards. Ocelot had bruises under his wide eyes and he looked flushed.  
"Have you been running?"  
His hands slammed down on the desk and Big Boss scowled.  
"What the hell are you doing still here? He's coming, you know that right? And it's not just the mission this time, he wants to be here, he wants you dead!"  
Big Boss stood up with a sigh and walked around to the other side of the desk and leant on it, Ocelot stepped back out of his way. His clothes were rumpled, slept in, wedged in narrow airline seats.  
  
"And I will be here to meet him."  
"No."  
"This isn't up for debate, Ocelot I—" CRACK! Big Boss' head snapped to the side, slowly he raised a hand to rub the red welt on his face.  
"You slap like The Boss…"  
"Maybe I'm finally starting to understand how she felt!" Ocelot howled. "This isn't a game! He is going to kill you!"  
"He can try."  
"You trained him, Boss! Venom didn't stand a chance, and now he's got something personal to fight for—"  
"So do I."  
"And you'd die for this?" Big Boss didn't answer, Ocelot wouldn't like the answer. "But you have nothing to leave for? Nothing to live for?"  
"No." That came too fast, too easily, and it was a mistake, he grit his teeth as he watched Ocelot's look of grim frustration turn to one of pain.  
"John..." his shoulders slumped. "Then I'm staying too."  
"No!"  
"You can't send me away!" he planted his feet firmly, as if Big Boss might try to just push him out the door. "I belong here, with you!"  
He shook his head. "No Ocelot, I need you out there."  
"Not if you're dead you won't."  
"Someone has to remain if I fall. I need you fighting for me out there, like you always have." His voice dropped away to a murmur.  
Ocelot's eyes flickered, then with renewed vigour: "I'm not one of your soldiers, I don't have to listen to you!”  
  
Big Boss swung and Ocelot deflected the blow, but not the second one to his solar plexus, he buckled over with a wheeze and met Big Boss' knee. He fell back, and stumbled away, nose and mouth bloody, he touched his face gingerly.  
"If you're not one of mine, you have no place here."  
"Bullshit, I've earned my place here." His voice cracked and Big Boss grit his teeth.  
"Get out."  
Ocelot glared back at him with all the imperiousness of his youth and didn't answer, he was dragged up by his stained collar and Big Boss, barely an inch from his face, hissed: "You don't get it do you?"  
"No." He whined. "I don't understand."  
"I need you out of here. I need to know you're safe."  
"Why?"  
"I—Please, Ocelot."  
  
Big Boss hadn't been able to answer then.  
The words had stuck in his throat.  
It was was the same thing that had had him hold EVA's fire in '64, when she'd tried to shoot Major Ocelot in the back. The same thing that made him turn the revolver aside when the boy had been willing to die to put their one-sided rivalry to rest. That thing that had had him run to his enemy in the midst of battle and throw the grenade away from him before Kaz had been able to use it to kill Big Boss, and himself. It had been there when he'd first stood on the shores of the lake, and watched the Peace Walker stride into the water, and even then he'd wanted to drag the skeletal machine back to shore. When he'd given Ocelot the world he'd always wanted... Only to take it away, and put an imposter in his own place, so that Ocelot couldn't forget, even if he wanted to, just who he could have been with.  
He wanted their attention.  
It was selfishness pure and simple, and he knew it.  
"Need me."  
  
"Excuse me, sir?"  
  
The King Ray whined when a shiver assaulted its joints and actuators, and it dropped its gaze again to look at who'd spoken.  
"Nothing." He said. "What is it?"  
Doctor West tried not to look sceptical, but was about as subtle as a kick to the shin, Snake ignored it. "Has there been any news?"  
"Nothing direct. Nothing from the Wildcat."  
"You're not tracking him in any way?"  
"No, I made sure all connections with the base were cut, we both did, it would be too dangerous for him to be broadcasting his position." He hesitated. Since Ingwe's outburst they were both thinking the same, Ocelot's greatest advantage right now was that his whereabouts were unknown.  
"There has however, been some news."  
"News?"  
"A competitor PMC had been operating along the south-eastern edge of the Bufferlands. There was a town there, well, not really a town but... a place we operated out of for a while. This company… They were a very active, and very well equipped, as of this morning they've packed up and left the area, we had surveillance by their base."  
"A job?"  
"I don't think so. Apparently they left in a hurry after some kind of discussions at the town." West hesitated, his voice dropped and Snake strained to hear him. "They didn't see what it was, but there were mentions at the operating base that there was a Metal Gear presence in the forest. Do you think...?"  
"And they just packed up and left?"  
"Yes."  
"Who were they?"  
West looked embarrassed. "They call themselves the Balam. We have ah... a not very positive history with them." He eyed up the King Ray, wondering what he'd been told.  
"Hm."  
"Sir?"  
"Continue."  
  
"Er... Yes. Well, if it was him and it seems to be, his progress hasn't been as fast or direct as I expected, he's about two days behind my estimated schedule. Why do you think he'd spend time on the Balam? I mean... His own involvement with them hasn't been good, but there was no talk of a battle."  
"I couldn't say." Snake smiled freely behind the mask of the King Ray.  
"I just mean... That um... The Balam had been causing problems for that town but ah…"  
He chuckled. "I doubt it was purely out of the kindness of his heart, but you never know, he's full of surprises. Have you made progress with the er...?"  
"The patch? Yes, I believe I have it completed, just a shame I couldn't install it before he left, or at least send it out with him, still there are other ways to get messages through, I believe I can send Hal Emmerich the files."  
"Emmerich…"  
"Yes, he and Sunny could install it without any problem I'm sure."  
"He can be trusted?"  
"A-as far as I'm aware, sir?"  
"Mmn."  
"I'd like to install the patch in you as well, we still don't really know why the Wildcat remained stable for so long, or if what he and Sunny did to help you will work indefinitely. The more precautions, the better."  
"Now?"  
"If you wouldn't mind?"  
  
The King Ray's jaw boomed like a bell as it hit the floor, and the sound was still ringing in West's ears as he heaved his way up to the four man cockpit. The moment the access panels clunked shut he muttered: "Ingwe has been getting reports in from BBR, and the town."  
Snake didn't answer but West trusted that he was listening.  
"They have Sunny under surveillance, I think Ocelot was right to return. Ingwe wants information from her..." he hesitated. "But I'm confused."  
"Oh?"  
"I... I think that maybe Ingwe anticipated him leaving. That's what she wanted to know, if Sunny is waiting for him—"  
"Doctor, do you think this is a trap for Ocelot? Ingwe is convinced he is a traitor. Is there anything out at this place that could be a threat to him?"  
"Well I don't know, maybe... Oh."  
"Oh?"  
"Well, there has been one thing that's posed a challenge for him in the past..."  
  
\---  
  
Hal had already driven home, Sunny had wanted to walk. It wasn't just for the fresh air, she was upset. After a fairly good day of keeping her chin up, determined to reclaim her life, grateful that she still had one to reclaim, all attempts at a positive attitude had been swept out from under her. She'd gone to talk to Mr Lewis after Hal had left. He'd been tidying up his papers and was almost heading out the door himself when she caught him.  
"I wanted to talk to you about shortening my suspension sir?"  
He looked at her blankly.  
"Your job will be waiting for you," he said smoothly. "On the return of your... Hardware."  
  
Then he'd swept past her, leaving her blood cold, he'd as good as told her that loosing the Wildcat had been the end of her, Ocelot wasn't going to return and BBR didn't want her to remain. Without a doubt her name was on the blacklists shared between such places of business, and even if Ocelot did return? Well she had no doubt that they'd be forced apart immediately, and more than likely his AI would be destroyed. No doubt it was already agreed that that should have been the case right from the start, that this was all a terrible mistake, and entirely her fault.  
And it was of course.  
It was all her fault.  
  
He would have never got a grasp on her if she'd not defended him, given him a chance to regain his footing. Quite literally, he'd been barely able to walk when he'd first become conscious, let alone capable of controlling and manipulating her or anyone else. Thoughts of the young boy she'd released from his prison came back to her, and she bit her lip, maybe she'd been wrong, maybe he'd been using her from the start. Of course she'd respond to that, he must have seen right through her, her past, her desire to understand, it must have been so easy for him... She rubbed her face. Doubts and second guesses starting to cloud her mind all over again.  
  
Late at night sometimes she wondered if this had all been a lie: Otselotovaya Khvatka implanting the right information into his head, all of this being one long ploy just to get back to them, the resurrection, how he'd been waiting for her, all locked up in that little room... All a lie.  
She took a shaky breath. She didn't want to know any more.  
"I don't want him to come back."  
  
"Hey!" She didn't think anything of it. "Sunny!" She cringed. "Wait up!" She pretended she hadn't heard, but he'd caught up and was peering into her down turned face. "You okay?"  
"I'm fine," she lied. "What do you want?"  
"Ah..." Rich stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I'm just sorry about what happened."  
Sunny glanced up at him but was too tired to read his expression, it was far too much effort, why were humans so hard to understand?  
"Yeah me too." She muttered, because it seemed the right thing to say. She didn't say anything more, she wanted him to go away, not to get the idea that she wanted conversation.  
"So ah, it, er, he's still missing?"  
"Mmn."  
"No idea when he'll be back?"  
"N-no." She swallowed against her closed throat. "I mean, I d—he's not coming b-back."  
"Guess it's been hard getting used to him being gone?" he blustered on, apparently oblivious.  
"Guess s-so."  
"Miss him?" She tried to shake her head but ended up sucking in a hard shaky breath, he looked surprised.  
"Hey, I can give you a lift home, I'm not parked far from here." This time she managed to shake her head.  
"N-no, I d-don't want um..." she didn't want to see Hal, the photos of her family who'd died fighting what she'd brought back to the world, there was no comfort in seeing her failure written on their faces. "I... I want to go into town," she tugged at her coat, looking for an excuse. "Um, my coat is worn out." It wasn't a lie. "I want to get a new one while they're still being sold."  
"I'll buy it!"  
"Huh? Why?"  
"To make up for what happened."  
"N-no, I'll buy it, I d-don't—" need your pity, she thought, I don't deserve it anyway.  
"You sure?"  
"Yes."  
  
She missed him pursing his lips for a moment, too distracted by dreading his accompanying her.  
"So, you going to tell me what happened?"  
"W-what?"  
"In South America? What happened?"  
"I'd r-rather not talk ab-bout it."  
"It had to have been pretty intense, right?"


	47. Solnyshko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [Nihilnovisubsole](http://nihilnovisubsole.tumblr.com/)  
> for the news article featured in this chapter!  
> Please check out her writing on her tumblr or AO3 account: [AKFedeau](http://archiveofourown.org/users/akfedeau)

" _His hands are tangled in the sun and he should leave burn marks where his fingertips linger._  
_He doesn’t._  
_But sometimes you look to him, and know to your bones that you won’t come out of this whole."_

\--

Lostcap, lostcap.tumblr.com

 

Sunny was laying on the floor. There was a chill blowing up through the floorboards, but she continued laying there, ear pressed uncomfortably against a crack, grit digging into her cheek despite it. For the hundredth time she told herself to get up and move, she ignored herself. She tilted her head slightly and ground the dirt into her skin, a narrow streak of light burned into her eye. The light was coming in from a narrow gap in the boards that covered the windows, and which were in turn covered in wire like a makeshift animal trap, and like an animal she'd paced back and forth for hours looking for any weakness in the cage. That had been when she was first brought here, not now. Now her whole body ached, and it was hard to breathe, easier to just lie here, where could she go anyway? What point was there in getting up? She twitched involuntarily when she heard the door down the hall bang open and footsteps approach. Shivering uncontrollably she sat up and backed up against the wall, fear over powering apathy. Her hair and skin snagged painfully against the wire as the shadow of a person stopped in front of her cell door. A lock clicked.  
  
Sunny had jumped up before she'd even woken properly and stumbled a step across the wildly lilting room before her legs wobbled and she caught herself against the edge of the desk. Her heart was racing and her stomach roiling, threatening to rise. Outside a car door banged shut and the engine coughed into life before pulling away. The mundane reaching into her subconscious mind. She shuffled back to her bed and leant over to push aside her curtains. It was still dark outside—a glance at the clock told her it was nearly 5am, which was better than yesterday, and the day before. She climbed back onto the bed to lean out of the window, letting the breeze cool her, and dry the sweat soaking her skin, taking great breaths of the fresh early morning air to calm her stomach. She could hear dripping outside, water sliding to the ground and gurgling in gutters. A drop blipped onto the back of her head, pleasantly cold. In the distance a police siren flashed and was gone.  
  
From here if she leant out far enough she could see between the buildings and out towards the Bufferlands, and though all that was really visible right now was a soft blue line where the sky met the earth, she looked anyway and stared hopefully towards the emptiness. She was supposed to be starting over though, and reminded herself of this fact and dropped back to her bed, leaving the windows open and the curtains wafting lightly in the breeze. The temporary relief from her nightmares from simply waking up, and the early morning air, gave way to a deep buzzing in her chest and the creeping feeling of being tarnished, unsafe, watched. Nothing for it, there would be no getting to sleep again. Sunny turned off her alarm, set to go off in a couple of hours anyway, and padded the short distance to her desk, where she promptly sat down and tucked her knees up under her chin. She postponed her laptop's updates, ignored the signal that she still had an unread message from her friend, and called up a news site. Might as well get up to speed while looking for a distraction.  
  
Most of it, celebrity dramas and the usual tragedies that were the media's bread and butter, flowed over her unacknowledged. Her mind was wandering elsewhere, and it settled on Rich and his weird behaviour the evening they'd met up. He'd been so insistent on asking her things, almost all about her trip south and Ocelot, his whereabouts, why he hadn't come back, what she was going to do. She hadn’t wanted to answer any of his questions, giving him short abrupt answers at times, avoiding them outright at other times. Here and there she'd caught herself outright lying and still felt bad about it, but not as bad as when she'd avoided telling her uncle the truth. It wasn't the questions, or not wanting to answer that was bothering her, she was used to that by now. Whether it was her Uncle, her employers, the occasional well meaning text from a friend she'd barely talked to since the start of this nightmare. Nor was it her own restless mind. Questions with uncomfortable answers were part of her life now. No, it was that Rich didn't ask questions. Not normally. Not unless he was after something. Rich liked to talk about himself, to tell her all about his day, not to ask her about hers, in fact historically he usually only asked her first if he anticipated being able to one up her. Sunny scowled at her laptop, come to think of it, Ocelot really had been right about him, why had it been so hard to see that? She sighed and shrugged it off, telling herself she'd just been too forgiving, just as she'd been with Ocelot. Last night however, she'd been waiting for him to turn her answers against her at every moment, to tell her how simple her problems were and how silly it was to dwell on them, to give her umpteen 'answers' to her problems, to laugh in her face for trusting Ocelot... But it never came. Now, awake and with a clearer mind, she wondered what he'd actually wanted.  
Something occurred to her and she snorted; "Probably just thought he could get back with me on the rebound, always hated letting things go."  
  
A headline caught her attention then and snapped her out of her partially amused, partially disturbed thoughts: Unauthorised Metal Gear Movement South of Border.  
She sat up straight and accidentally clicked on "Phone fire left me with severe burns, says cyclist" in her fumbling hurry and cursed until she got back to where she wanted to be. Had Otselotovaya Khvatka been found? Had the presence of two new Metal Gears in the area brought attention to them? She opened the link once her browser had stopped lagging from her frantic navigation and leant forwards to read closer. No, it seemed not, what she read was confusing, half-information quickly thrown together as an article.

"East of a border checkpoint between Chihuahua and Sonora, Mexico, border patrol reports that a Metal Gear was spotted moving through the forest nearby—movement that has been deemed unauthorized by local authorities. Members of Border Patrol Unit 311 had initially mistaken the Metal Gear for one of the numerous REX in the area, which they cited as the reason for their initial lack of concern. However, the next morning, a GEKKO unit discovered mechanized footprints in the forest soil that did not match the signature of any Metal Gears operating in the area, which prompted further inquiry into what was now becoming a suspicious event.  
  
Because of the prints’ relative uniqueness in size and shape, local experts were able to match them to a unit stationed about 50 miles to the west, which—along with its pilot—had already been reported missing about three weeks before. The search culminated on Friday when the patrol launched a surveillance drone, to see whether it could find the unit or determine its most likely path—and while it identified a trail going toward the border, the Metal Gear itself is still nowhere to be found.  
  
The patrol theorizes that the Metal Gear may have been heading toward the Bufferlands, but unfortunately, they are unable to supply any supporting evidence. Last week’s rainstorm washed away the forest prints and most of the trail the drone identified, making it impossible to tell the specifics of where the Metal Gear meant to go. For investigators, the mystery will have to remain unsolved—at least for now.”  
\-- **A. K. Fedeau**

There was a blurry photo then of a 3 clawed footprint with a measuring strip beside it for scale, and when she scrolled to the next image she saw an early photo of herself, looking nervously at the camera out of a face she barely knew any more, as the Wildcat's maiden mission was celebrated by their local news outlet, behind her—it was hard to fit him into the photo too—the Wildcat lay like a cryptic sphinx, head turned towards the camera for the sake of the composition. Sunny's heart beat picked up, was he already coming back? She thought back to West's wife's strange visitors, the possibility of a problem she was unaware of, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end.  
  
Other than the incriminating footprints there was nothing conclusively pointing to the Wildcat as being the stranger creeping out of the forest, but there was no other likely alternative. The marks weren't in line with anything else she knew about and he was in that area, or had been. BBR's prototype Metal Gear that had recently made the headlines as a turncoat—Pilot Betrayed By Saviour; Serial Traitor Strikes Again; Who Could Have Seen This Coming?—was rapidly becoming a favourite of the local tabloids and news outlets, nothing sparked fear, and sales, like the possibility of a dangerous rogue war machine. The border guards had confirmed that Wildcat and pilot had passed by them in one direction, but either didn’t remember seeing Sunny pass back through or hadn’t thought it was important. In the meantime the Wildcat's whereabouts had been unknown for some time, and until now there had been no sign of it at all. Enquiries into the Wildcat's mission had encountered a stonewall as BBR gave only vague information on some kind of reconnaissance mission. More questions were raised, a different article pointed out, when it was discovered that the Wildcat's mission took it to Nicaragua, and it had permission to be in that area, though the local authorities refused to answer further questions. It went on to say that their sources told them that it was seeking out the remains of the King Ray (here Sunny cursed, she hadn't mentioned that, no one in BBR was supposed to have mentioned that, and yet it had gotten out anyway), they were able to get these satellite images of the lake: one was dated a few months previously, and while it was hard to tell what it was, there was a large dark mound on the edge of the water. On the image next to it dated a few days previously, the only major difference was that the dark shape was gone. The article concluded with the author's beliefs that the Wildcat and the King Ray's simultaneous disappearances were related to each other, and that the local forces' silences might imply their involvement.  
  
There were links then, along the side of the screen, that the site thought she would be interested in. A side article rehashing how the King Ray and Wildcat shared similar AIs and backgrounds; the King Ray incident all those years ago; Sunny's rescue from the Balam and various other articles, large and small that had something, however tenuous, to do with the Wildcat, its creation or its life since Sunny became its pilot. Sunny skimmed this, ears ringing, and sat back and tried to process what she'd read until she heard Hal's alarm sound and she stirred from her reverie.  
  
Sunny had no doubt that it wouldn't be long before the King Ray and Wildcat's real connection was unearthed and that now his presence had returned to this side of the border there would be eyes out for him everywhere. Where had he gone though? Had he actually managed to cross over unseen, or did it just look that way? Sunny leant back in her chair. It could have being a scouting mission on behalf of his new allies. It was hard to believe that a Metal Gear could slip by unnoticed, but the Wildcat's speed and experience may have allowed him to get through before anyone noticed. Particularly when he hit open ground, though couldn’t cover every inch of the boarders. Maybe he was coming back already, did that mean there was something wrong. It would be typical if he only came back to enlist her aid. Or maybe something was wrong at the PMC's base and he was running away—would he leave Snake if that was the case? It could be a mission; was this an attack of some kind and if he returned to Otselotovaya Khvatka, could he be tracked? She massaged her temples as Hal limped down the stairs and a siren howled in the distance.  
"Ocelot, what are you doing?"  
  
\---  
  
The Wildcat sagged dangerously before catching itself and swaying back upright as the top soil turned liquid under its feet. Ocelot had run through the night, until he’d hit loose uneven ground. Unable to trust his footfalls Ocelot finally stopped and 'slept' standing upright, like a horse. When his clock finally woke him up the sky was turning a pale freshly washed blue. The rain left over from the storm had attempted to break through the night, but never particularly successfully, now the clouds were thin and weak and would probably evaporate as the sun rose higher, but right now it was murky and uninspiring. The Metal Gear pulled its paws from the grime. It shook the water off its armour and looked without pleasure at the mud that coated it up to its chest and belly, splashes from its paws. Ocelot grumbled to himself, scratching some of it off against the ridges set into his forearms and only managing to carve pale tattoos into the muddy casing, and probably his paintwork—not that anyone would notice these days. He gave up and looked around to find his bearings in a more traditional manner.  
  
There on the horizon was the ragged skyline of the town. The tall ATC and radio towers and the ugly rectangular hospital were the tallest things among the other squat buildings. It was a lot closer than he'd anticipated. He checked his position, yes, his systems were right and showing the same thing as last night. He frowned to himself wondering why he'd been so convinced he was further away than he really had been.  
Couldn't even judge the distance right.  
He caught himself and pushed the thoughts away, it hadn't been the distance! He berated the nasty voice in his head, lying to himself in a futile attempt to shut up the voice. It was too dangerous and I had no reason to risk going the rest of the night in the dark.  
You tell yourself that, you come sprinting all the way out here, then a little bad weather slows you down.  
The memory of an aircraft twisting away into a snow storm flashed across his mind's eye, he briskly brushed it away.  
  
\---  
  
Sunny let her head loll back against the headrest, ignoring the headache beating behind her eyes, the grip it had on the back of her head and stiff neck, watching Hal make his way across the car park towards the office buildings.  
  
"I'm going to go home and keep myself busy," she'd told him. "It's been a while so I thought I'd have a really good clear out in my room, see what I can throw out." He'd agreed that it was a good idea, wished her luck and left for the office. Now that he was gone and she was supposed to be heading off home, she found herself having trouble moving. She blinked slowly, wondering if it was just the morning sun glaring off the puddles that was giving her this headache, and found that the movement made flashes of light burst behind her eyelids. She groaned and leant over the wheel. Why was moving so hard? She ached all over. Maybe she was falling ill, or getting a migraine, she had to get home now. It was that or wait a while and find someone to give her a lift.  
  
The engine was purred into life and she headed out of the complex, noting the security guard keeping a close eye on her.  
"Yeah, yeah, I'm going."  
She was just picking up speed, coming out of the exit of the base and onto the private road leading down to the main road and home, when her back spasmed and she jerked upright, foot involuntarily pushing down on the accelerator. She cried out as she wrenched the steering wheel around with her muscles twitching, the car leapt sideways and into the gravelly dirt of the verge. Sunny slammed her foot down on the brake as her vision went white and felt the back end of the car skid out before it finally came to a halt, almost facing back the way she'd come. She leant over the wheel, holding her aching head as the sudden pain and the after shocks of the muscle spasm and panic started to pass.  
  
She looked up slowly, fearfully wondering what on earth was wrong with her, and grasping at simple things to process; such as "at least there wasn't any traffic", before she focused on the security guard running over. Or at least, he had been, now he was backing up, turning around and running in the opposite direction. Sunny rubbed her eyes and stumbled out of the car, primarily to distance her self from the scene of her fit. There was an uncomfortable feeling of pressure on the back of her head and neck, but the pain had passed and she was just starting to think she would be safe to drive home and rest when she finally saw what the security guard had run from. She stood stock still staring out at the Bufferlands, not moving even when the guard, a handful of others and Hal, cursing softly under his breath, joined her.  
  
Tears of some indeterminate emotion, caught between despair and relief, anger and love pricked at her eyes and at the last she couldn't help herself but run forwards. Hal yelped as the Wildcat pounced, but Sunny was fearless and the two huge paws came down on the earth either side of her, tossing up dust and grit, but leaving her unharmed, if somewhat dirtier. Its massive head dropped to meet her and she clung to the cool mucky jaw and closed her aching eyes and let the cold armour sooth the lingering traces of the headache and sore joints. Slowly the world seemed to settle. The panic of loosing control of the car faded, fear of her health was lost, the memory of the pain snuffed out. Sunny's world became comfortably muffled, as soothing as a thick blanket wrapped about her, as protective as a winter coat. The light that had blinded her and sparked around the edges of her vision even when the worst had passed, faded entirely to darkness. Now there was no uncomfortable pressure on the back of her head, it had been replaced by a comforting grip; supporting her head against the warmth to which she clung. Warmth? She pulled back. The grasp around her body dropped away and the light came back, but not so painfully this time. She blinked until she was used to it and looked up.  
  
Arms still half raised from supporting her tumble into VR, Ocelot was looking at her with curiosity and a frown.  
"I think I hit you a little hard." He said sorrowfully. "I thought you were going to pass out."  
So that's what it was she realised, the AI re-imprinting on her. He had a lot more force behind him than when they'd first met.  
"I n-nearly crashed m-my car!"  
"So I saw."  
  
Sunny tried to smile but found herself unable to, she sobbed and stepped back towards him when he went to grab her shoulders. He grunted in surprise when she lunged to throw her arms about his neck, but he stooped and picked her up with ease instead of forcing her to stand on tip-toe. Holding her smaller frame possessively, hiding his face against the red material of her coat and feeling her narrow shoulder below that. Her ribs ached from the tightness with which he held her and he was glad he didn't require oxygen any more or she might have throttled him, but neither let go until Sunny sniffed and said: "I d-didn't think you were coming b-back."  
"I said I would." He raised his head to look at her and she did the same.  
She bared her teeth and for a moment looked like she might really get angry at him.  
"I d-didn't believe you!" she snapped. "I d-didn't want to believe you!"  
He grinned lopsidedly and set her back down on her feet.  
"D-don't s-smile at me like that, what are you d-doing here? What have you d-done to me?"  
"Done to you?"  
"Ever s-since I got back here, my head's been..." she buried her face in his waistcoat once again to avoid his gaze. "It's all s-such a mess. I d-don't know what to d-do."  
Ocelot didn't reply, but she could feel the searching feeling spreading out through her head and after a few seconds had passed he placed a gentle hand on her head and muttered: "I'm sorry, I screwed up."  
She looked up in surprise. "What d-did you say?"  
"I wasn't thinking, when we disconnected, it cut you off too."  
"Cut me o—" A cold realisation crept over her. "You weren't?"  
"Not my best idea, I know."  
"SOP? Really?” She tore away from him, he slowly lowered his hand. “D-didn't you l-learn anything f-from...?" she trailed off, terrified of the fate she'd avoided.  
"I wasn't really stopping you from reacting," he muttered sullenly. "Just controlling the rate of it."  
"W-why?"  
"Rest is very good for you... But it's hard to rest with all that going on in your head."  
"Y-yeah I f-f-f-figured that out m-myself!"  
"I didn't anticipate us having to part like that, all that emotional response being released at once, are you okay?"  
"N-no, I'm not!" She brushed away fresh tears and tried to ignore the look of remorse on his face. Probably fake, fake like everything else she thought viciously and he flinched.  
  
"Sunny..." He shook his head. "I'm here now, I can help."  
"S-some help y-you are."  
"I missed you, Solnyshko."  
She shot him an angry look but met his soft smile and felt her resolve waver. No, no you're angry at him, she told herself, but he was masterful and she shuddered with emotion.  
"D-damn it, Ocelot. I'm... Glad you're okay, but…" She swallowed, the anger ringing in her ears subsiding. Was that even her? Was he doing that? She shuddered.  
“Sunny?”  
And looked up.  
"Actually Sunny, I came here to help you, not to ask you to forgive me."  
"Help me?"  
"Yes but there seems to be something wrong with me." His voice was calm, but now that she was over his reappearance and starting to readapt to his mind being so close, she saw his fear. Fear? He was terrified. She looked up and his brow was knotted but he spoke in such disinterested tones, as if he didn’t really care what her answer might be: "Will you help me?"  
  
His edges buzzed with static for a moment, the VR around them gave away to the real world. Ocelot imposed neatly on top of it, Sunny stepped back to appreciate it and as she did so Hal had come up to them. She looked up, smiling, then quailed. Hal looked angrier than she'd ever seen him and despite her concerns for Ocelot's well being her attention was diverted to her uncle.  
  
Hal didn't say anything at first, just pointed at Ocelot's slightly transparent self then looked at Sunny in consternation.  
"You c-can see him?" She asked.  
"Yes." He said shortly. "And he told you he was coming back?" She swallowed nervously. "I'm taking you home and you are telling me everything else you've been keeping from me."  
"Uncle Hal, it's not—"  
"I knew this would end badly for you, but I barely know who you are any more." He looked up at Ocelot, who gave a good impression of staring straight back. The two old foes scowled at each other for a moment longer then Hal pointed towards the car.  
Sunny shook her head. "Wait a moment—"  
"No."  
"But there's s-something—"  
"I heard. I don't care. He can look after himself."  
"I can't just leave him here!"  
"Why not?"  
Sunny flinched at his tone.  
"Because I don't do that to my friends."  
"You call that Thing your friend? It’s not even human any more!"  
Ocelot flickered.  
Sunny stared and Hal's shoulders slowly drooped as he saw the disgust in her expression.  
"Ocelot," she said firmly. "What kind of help do you need?"  
  
–-  
  
Ocelot explained his conversation with West, leaving before he got the results of the test and how things had gotten worse on the way here. The 'headaches' as he described them hadn't so much as gone as become constant, but it was the voice that disturbed him, it had started out as no more than intrusive thoughts, but had started to sound horribly like another person altogether the closer he'd got to the base.  
  
_Whatever 'it' is, it was able to speak aloud through me._  
"Do you think it could control other parts of your chassis?"  
_I don't know._ Ocelot said with a shake of his head. _It's not tried, or if it has it failed_ _and I didn’t notice. I think I would have though._  
"Are you able to communicate back to the base? Maybe Snake?"  
Hal touched her arm but she ignored him.  
Ocelot shook his head. _I can't call back. I've been trying to reach Snake, but I can't get through._  
"No one else? That diagnostics report would be helpful."  
He shook his head again. _I think Ingwe is stopping me. I can't think of a reason why else I'd be unable to make contact._  
"Why would she? Surely its better if they can get into contact with you?"  
Ocelot sighed. _They’re not tracking me, that was deliberate, but I’m not sure about communication, by all rights I should be able to communicate with them if not the other way around._  
Sunny looked around. "Uncle Hal, any ideas on getting through?"  
  
Hal clenched his hands into fists and flexed them uncertainly. Sunny, who knew him best, frowned.  
"Uncle Hal, I know when you're keeping something from me."  
He sighed, more easily swayed than his adopted daughter. "I have an email, came through a couple of days ago. Probably about the time he left to come back here."  
_Who is it from?_  
"West."  
"Why didn't you say anything?"  
"Because you said he wasn't coming back, I thought you were telling the truth and that West had been lied too. That Ocelot was running away and not coming here. I wanted to believe I didn't need the information." He looked up at the Wildcat, there was something in his tone and Sunny looked at him with doubt.  
_What information?_  
"Doctor West thinks that your MB-AI core has spontaneously produced a second AI. Possibly some flaw in the original start up procedure that's allowed it to run a second time. Basically... Your mind appears to have replicated, only it's not a double of you-now, its as you were when you first woke up. Or so I'd presume. That might explain why you've been hearing things. Did it sound like your own voice?"  
_I mean it sure sounded a lot like my voice. I don't talk like that_ _though_ _. I mean it sounded like me, but the words weren't mine._ He looked up, whiskers drooping almost comically. _Sunny can you fix this?_  
Sunny had her chin tucked down to her chest as she thought.  
"It might have s-something to do with how it's forming," she said eventually. "I think your personality has s-shifted due to what you experienced while your AI was forming, that’s what’s allowing you to make different choices about Big Boss than before, I had my doubts before but well, you’re here aren’t you?” She shook her head. “It would make s-sense th-that this one has shifted too."  
He looked unconvinced. _Whatever it is, it's been dead set on bringing me down ever since I became aware of it._  
Sunny looked up. "What do you mean?" Ocelot shook his head and wouldn't elaborate so Sunny cut in: "Do you mean physically, like stopping you? Or do you mean trying to upset you?"  
He grunted. _The second one._ He shot Hal a nasty look when he spotted the grim smile flicker over the engineer's face.  
  
"Actually Sunny, I think the message was meant for you."  
"The one from W-est? Why?"  
"It's 4D sound data. The same format that Naomi sent that message to me in, that only you cracked. If it wasn't for you showing me what you did, I wouldn't have been able to open it."  
"I d-don't remember telling West about that."  
_Naomi and I used that technique after Shadow Moses, since she was a wanted woman. She got the idea from watching Mei Ling tracking Snake's radar information._  
"S-so how did W-west get the idea?"  
_Maybe it's one of the reasons Otselotovaya Khvatka has been so good at hiding, the ideas Naomi and I were using filtered down_ _to them. I don’t remember if I shared it with them._  
"It's possible," Hal conceded.  
"Then W-west, he, he's going to be in trouble if Ingwe finds out."  
_Very likely. Doctor Emmerich, why didn't you mention this before? Surely it was something Sunny ought to have known?_  
"Sunny's had a lot to deal with." He said pointedly. "There was more detailed information in the message." He admitted reluctantly.  
_Now he comes forwards._ Ocelot said bitterly. _Get Sunny that file. I have my excuses to make._  
  
Hal and Sunny glanced back at the approaching BBR team.  
"Let's get out of here." Hal gently tugged Sunny's arm and they used Ocelot's distraction to dodge Mr Lewis, who was shouting up at Ocelot and going purple in the face, and slip back into the base.  
  
–-  
  
"He s-sent it to you here?"  
"No, this is his computer, I was using his logon." Hal gestured to the screen, which showed various programs for monitoring the Wildcat's early progress data. "It's easier than moving all this across, not least the permissions associated with his name." He dropped his voice, though there was no one else in the office. "We need to get the information off this computer."  
"We can't take it home. What about Mrs West?"  
"Hmn?"  
"Her computers have got to be s-safer than ours right now. Maybe."  
"True... If they can handle it." He groped around for a flash drive to copy the file to.  
"They s-should be able t-to, just this at least."  
"I'll go over to hers at lunchtime and talk to her. Sunny—"  
"I just want things here to get back to normal, this is the last thing we needed."  
  
"Normal?" Mr Lewis finally spotted them behind the server rack and stalked over. "Haha. Nothing around here's been normal for a while now." He looked unsubtly at Sunny. "I don't believe you have permission to be in here."  
"S-sorry, Mr Lewis, we wanted t-to—”  
"You’ll be wanting to get off the premises, I don't care where you go so long as it's not here."  
"Yes, b-but with Ocelot back—"  
He shot her a venomous look and she nodded, "I'll leave."  
  
Not wasting more time with him she hurried out and clattered down the stairs two at a time. She didn't head back to the car, still sat in the verge, she darted around the building towards the hangars. The Wildcat was still outside, she saw what he was looking at and hurried to duck under his heels and get around the other side of him. The scarlet jackal thundered past them, huge crushing slicing beak flexed in warning at them. The Wildcat, still bearing scars from the Jackal's attack, held its ground as the bulkier Metal Gear passed by. Then, grumbling, he took up position in a bay in the hangars. Sunny drifting in after in its wake.  
_They're willing to consider my offer._ He said. _They're... Willing to 'maintain their hardware' while they're discussing._  
“What did you promise them?”  
  
The moment the Wildcat started to submit itself to the various ground connections something seemed off. Sunny saw the ground crew looking puzzled as Ocelot, normally so compliant, acted wary of their approach and made it harder for them to access connection points.  
"A-are you okay?" She came around in front of him.  
_Fine._  
Her eyebrows arched. "You s-sound it."  
_It's nothing._  
"A-alright then, I'm going to make s-sure diagnostics knows what's g-going on."  
  
\---  
  
"Be that as it may, Doctor. Leaving and returning to the base like that does not leave a good impression. He is out of control."  
Hal nodded slowly, he couldn't deny that. Though he felt sure Sunny would disagree with him, the man seemed to be dancing to his own beat now and it scared Hal. Even the Wildcat's return to the base had scared him. He'd been sure for a moment that Sunny would be caught up under the massive paws or the bulk of the machine following. Now he knew that the Wildcat must have imprinted long before running up to Sunny, it had known exactly where Sunny was, but at the time he'd been so sure she was done for. That wasn't even touching on how afraid he was for Sunny in all other senses. Sunny had never been one to keep things from him. Oh sure she'd had her secrets, her private life, of course she had but not like this. He thought of what he'd witnessed outside in the dusty wake of the Metal Gear's arrival. His eyes had been firmly telling him that Sunny was leant up against the beak of the machine. His brain on the other hand had been confident that she'd been swept up in the interrogator's arms as if they really were long parted friends. As if he really cared.  
  
"Solnyshko…"  
"Excuse me?"  
"Huh? Oh, nothing."  
Mr Lewis sighed, "I'll be frank with you. I had hoped that was the last we'd seen of it."  
"Yes." He replied simply. "Me too. What did he offer you?"  
"Excuse me?"  
"Ocelot, he must have offered you something for you to let him in?"  
Mr Lewis tapped his fingers on the table in thought then said, slowly: "He offered us the return of a sizeable investment we'd written off some time ago."


	48. Problem Child

_"Oh, I am very weary,_  
_Though tears no longer flow;_  
_My eyes are tired of weeping,_  
_My heart is sick of woe."_

\--

Anne Bronte

 

"Hey." A cloud of smoke rolled out of the alley mouth. Rich stopped and looked sullenly over his shoulder at the smoker. He coughed poignantly at the back of his throat.  
"I'm going to work, you're going to make me late."  
The man grinned toothily, "Won't take a minute."  
"You're in BBR, aren't you in the know?"  
Bennett shrugged, "Tell me what I know."  
"... I saw Hal yesterday, he came in for some shit at the store. I don't know I didn't serve him. He's not happy, can see it on his face, in fact he looked pissed off, and I've only ever seen him really angry once and that was when his computer crashed as he—"  
"And the Wildcat and his pilot?"  
"How would I know? I think Sunny's avoiding me, probably because that bastard's back."  
"She's still working with him..." Bennett muttered. "Even though she's being pushed out by Lewis. Keep an eye on her. I don't think you'll get much more information out of her now, he's here so maybe it doesn't even matter."  
"So now what?"  
"Just keep an eye on her off the base."  
"For what?"  
"Something is wrong with the Wildcat, Sunny has been given permission to access the base as a visitor, but I'm sure she's going to be actively seeking solutions off base too. You still have my number?"  
"Yeah of course."  
"If she does anything, leaves the base, leaves for the base, you tell me."  
He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "You're full of shit. Making me out to be some kind of stalker."  
Bennett grinned.  
  
\---  
  
Sunny had made her way onto the base as the night shift were leaving. The hangars were quiet. The day shift was filing in, in dribs and drabs, less interested in working and more interested in their morning coffee. No one really paid much attention to her sitting in the shadow of the Wildcat's chest, even though she was muttering under her breath as she skimmed through last night's readings. Ocelot watched through her, uncomfortable as he failed to understand half of what the screen said, but following well enough to know that the charts shouldn't be showing two distinct trends.  
  
"This one," Sunny pulled up the previous page. "Is the combined reading, the breakdowns normally just show unusual behaviour in your... subconscious if you will, programs that are running in the background. It's used to monitor whether something there is anomalous, or if it's in the foreground."  
_Like what?_  
"Um... Like if your self defence monitoring systems were reacting too much, you'd see spikes, like with this," she pointed to a rapid spiking ridge of on the chart. "Corresponding to very minor threats, like being started by a car backfiring. Whereas you actively responding to something would appear here." She flipped to a different page.  
_Yes, I'm with you._  
"But the same thing could be caused by your background systems just reacting to something superficial that's making little impact on the rest of the system. Just responding to something going back and forth in front of you. Diagnostics is easier if you know you're looking at something that can be ignored, or something that's likely to be logged in the system which could cause further issues down the line."  
_So if,_ _as an_ _example, my defence systems were aroused by a friendly presence that was potentially a threat; say a visiting Metal Gear on site. Verses a known threat?_  
"Yeah, basically, but it can be more subtle than that."  
_So if it's in the background, as with the defence systems, it could cause false readings later?_  
"Yes, if you had a response to," she shrugged. "I don't know, a dog barking, and it was logged as a false-positive instead of a false-negative response, then the next time a dog barked—"  
_I'd react even if nothing was going on?_  
"Exactly."  
_I have allergies._  
She laughed, "That's one way of looking at it."  
_Seems like it'd be hard for a computer to tell the difference?_  
"Not much different to a human brain. You don't just take in information from one source, the idea is to find patterns, but with all pattern finding programs, the wrong pattern can be identified."  
_So you're saying even a synthetic AI could develop…_ _S_ _uperstitions? Phobias?_  
"Huh? Well, maybe. The difference between an AI and a biological brain of course is that if an incorrect response is detected it can be removed from the system, where as a human would need to unlearn it, which takes a lot longer."  
_Of course, and no AI is left alone long enough for that not to happen. Right?_  
"Yeah. Well, there are old AIs out there that might have developed odd behaviour, humans tend to anthropomorphise."  
  
Sunny jumped at that Wildcat's head dropping down beside her. _Old AIs?_  
"Er... Yeah. There were AI Metal Gear that were never salvaged after the fall of The Patriots but are still…"  
_Extant?_  
"They're supposed to show strange behaviour, but I'm not really surprised at that, just left wandering around without any direction, they're bound to be a bit odd, just bouncing from one input to another."  
_Do you think they might group together?_  
"What do you mean?"  
_Would the inputs from another Metal Gear stimulate them to group together, could they learn to socialise?_  
"I doubt it, maybe MB-AIs, but synthetics? There's no reason why they would."  
_Hmn._  
"Why?"  
_No reason._  
"Really?"  
_Just curious, you can't expect me to totally ignore something that I'm a part of?_  
Sunny looked up narrowly, "Apparently some have been spotted in the Bufferlands—"  
_So what are my charts showing?_  
Sunny smiled to herself but let him change the subject.  
  
"Well I think Doctor West was right, the combined chart doesn't look that strange alone, a few spikes here and there, but nothing too unusual, though these raised portions are well above what we'd normally expect to see from an active AI. It's only possible to see what's going on if you look at the two separated out." She moved back to the pair of charts. "Those raised spots actually correspond with an unusually low reading from your superficial programming, the part that makes up your conscious thoughts, that's the part that makes considered thoughts and plans, rather than reacting based on pre-programmed criteria—instinct basically."  
_Which means?_  
She sat back, "Well, I guess to replicate and isolate it we'd have to shut down all your inputs. Sight, sound, GPS, everything."  
_Sensory deprivation?_ He asked in hollow tones.  
"Sort of? At the same time you'd be fed the same information that you received during the time this blip occurred, it would be as if we turned back the clock—if you still have all the information."  
The Wildcat nodded its great head. _They told me to keep everything until further notice._  
"Good."  
_But wouldn't I notice this happening? The blips that is?_  
"I'm not sure, it could be happening right now. It would be like, no, it is, having the memory of something without experiencing it yourself. Something, or maybe someone would be more accurate, is experiencing things through your chassis, you are getting the echoes of those experiences." She hesitated, mouth moving silently. “But I have no idea if you’d notice? It might be a blind spot.”  
  
_When Naomi was helping me become Liquid, there was a period where 'he' and I were an unbalanced set of personalities, sometimes I would sway heavily in one or the other direction, fully Ocelot, or fully Liquid—_  
"Is that what was going on on Big Shell? And the Tanker?"  
_Yes. I was hypnotised into really believing I was fighting against a possessing spirit. When I was going through this, 'fighting with Liquid's ghost', I would sometimes find myself in the middle of a conversation, with no idea how I'd gotten there, or what I'd said previously, I often had no idea how long I'd been him instead of me. I'd sometimes remember later, I'd remember the conversation, or the action, but it was like remembering something in a film, something outside of myself. It sounds a lot like I'm going to be going through that all over again?_  
"Pretty much, at least I think it's comparable. I'm sorry, I think we can fix it before it gets to that point though. Here... These raised spots coincide with the low spots on the other graph," she pointed. "They've been present for a long time, going back months, but very weak, nothing really noticeable. Recently though they've been getting a lot stronger very quickly."  
_What do you think that means?_  
"Well that might be why you're only just now picking up on the effects. This is when you were warned there was something going on," Sunny tapped the paper. "I'm only guessing here, but the peaks were consistently just below the level of the disturbances you've been talking about, and when you were made aware of them... Well they became a lot worse, it's possible it was a reaction to the information."  
_Are you saying this thing in my head has been aware all this time, and I'm only just now finding out about it?_  
"Well, possibly. But we don't know that. You know, if it's what West thought, a duplicate, of your normal AI with a variation on its development, then it might see you as an impostor. Hearing that information might have scared it into action."  
_What are you going to do?_  
"Backups are already being set, this other AI has a very distinct finger print, your AI developed slightly differently due to inputs from myself and others while you were still building up from your memories. This one is doing the same, but it's not a perfect replica, its not been awake as long, there have been different things feeding into it, it's been reacting very differently to you. I think I can isolate its thought patterns and remove it from your systems, it might take a few passes to get all of it, but I think it can be done. Uncle Hal and I are working out the patch Doctor West sent to us, that should stop the echo from reappearing."  
_Your uncle is helping?_  
"Sort of. It would go better if he'd talk to me."  
_Ah._  
"Yeah."  
  
_I'm sorry._ She looked up. _I never intended to hurt your relationship with your uncle._  
"Oh, it wasn't you, it was all me."  
_I'm sure he'd disagree._  
“Hey… Ocelot?”  
_Yes?_  
“Can I… When...” She shook her head. “You were… Suppressing my reaction to what happened to me…?”  
_I… Yes, effectively._  
“Did you do that to anything else?”  
_No._  
“You’re sure?”  
_Well, never intentionally. Sunny you suffered a number of panic attacks, the only thing I did was identify the symptoms and try to contain them, I sometimes used that to try and help you relax more at night, that was all. If I ever effected anything else, it was unintentional._  
Sunny nodded to herself.  
_Why?_  
“So… You never stopped me being angry at you?”  
_Oh my dear, no, I just don’t think you’re a very angry person._  
“What?”  
_Anyone else would be furious with me by now I’m sure, I haven’t needed to do anything._  
She scowled.  
  
_So ah… Talking of people being angry at me, your uncle, can we depend on him?_  
She looked up at him and tried to smile. "Don't worry, he's willing to help, and we'll get you sorted out. Is the idea of just wiping this AI out bothering you?"  
_No._ He said quietly. _As I said, it doesn't really feel like it's me. I want it out of my head._ He shifted, sliding lower to drop his head into the bottom of the bay. _Sunny? If it's awake, does it know what we're going to do?_  
"I—ah. You might be able to tell better than me."  
_I think we're okay right now. I feel a bit more in control now I have your input, maybe that's undermined the power it was gaining before, while I was destabilised._  
"Good, I hope so."  
_Can we talk in private, Sunny?_  
"Sure, just let me finish up here."  
  
\---  
  
Bennett ground out his cigarette with his heel before heading towards the garage to get his gear. He paused by a fork lift when he saw Sunny standing by the Wildcat. Something was going on, she was stock still and the Metal Gear was slowly raising its head, whiskers sliding through the air like a pair of uncoiling serpents, its gaze fixed downwards on the young woman like a snake getting ready to strike its hypnotised prey. Bennett, who was used to the pair being Weird together just squinted and watched curiously. A couple of technicians had also slowed down to look, unsure if this was normal for them or not.  
  
Sunny knew something was up the moment VR snapped into place around her. Ocelot was normally so smooth with his transitions that for the jump to be so hard was concerning. Nothing looked particularly different at first, the usual white lit space that meant that he wasn't projecting any particular environment surrounded her, but it felt colder than usual. What was normally an empty canvas suddenly seemed terribly sterile, and when Sunny turned to approach Ocelot, a coldness spread up under her feet, like stepping into ankle deep snow.  
  
"What's going on?" She asked.  
"What do you mean?" He crossed his arms high across his chest in a gesture not common to him. It was defensive and she stopped in her tracks.  
"You w-wanted to talk to me?"  
"Yes," he purred dropping his arms again and walking towards her, his movements seemed exaggerated. "How long do you think we have before this gets fixed?"  
"Not long." She pushed her hair from her eyes. "Uncle Hal is going through what West sent it to make sure it's sound," she shook her head. "I don't think he trusts West."  
"Good, I'd trust Hal over West."  
"Hal...?" Sunny looked puzzled. "I don't think I've heard you call him that before."  
"Really?" he swept around, smiling oddly. "That's peculiar, must just be hearing you talk about him."  
"Yeah I guess s-so." She avoided his staring eyes and started to step back discomforted on seeing his expression darken. "I s-should get back to work if we're going to f-fix you."  
  
He lunged forwards, left arm shooting out to grab her wrist and yank her back. Not bothering to cry out she instantly tried to get back to reality but his grip grew tighter and he wouldn't let her go. Sunny mentally writhed and pulled but she was trapped, a gulf that had always existed but never proven a barrier before now suddenly yawned between her and the real world. She floated outside of her body with no way to get back and she looked up into rich blue eyes filled with a long burning fury.  
  
"Did you really think I'd let you just erase me like that?" he snarled, words as precisely formed as his movements, not his usual lazy growl. "You're as stupid as the old man!"  
"W-who are y-y-you!?" She tried to twist her arm away, he dropped her wrist but knotted his hand into her shirt front and yanked her closer until they were almost nose to nose.  
"You know who I am," he sneered. Sunny's gaze searched the glaring eyes for a moment then she was jerked forwards violently when her captor was pulled away from her. The man snarled in pain as the butt of a gun cracked down on the fine bones of the back of his hand and he dropped her.  
  
Sunny fell back and staggered away from Ocelot and his doppelgänger. There was no mistaking them from each other. Unusually for Ocelot, the real one, he wasn't wearing his usual two of a three piece suit, but rather his boots came up to his mid calves and his trousers were tough black material. He wore no waistcoat and his shirt was scruffy and undone to below his collar bone. Morbidly his right arm ended abruptly with a blooded stump. That wasn't what gave him away as the real Ocelot however. His gaunt face was tense, nostrils flared and his brilliant pale blue eyes were burning with resentment. His stance was wide and his one remaining hand clenched spasmodically at his side around his gun, fingers itching. In comparison the man standing opposite him, Sunny realised that his coat sleeve too was empty and stained, was standing chest out and his one hand was toying with the golden brooch in his tie, he was smiling unpleasantly, his expression as far flung from Ocelot's as Sunny could imagine. Meeting Ocelot's stress with confidence, arrogance. He was dressed in Ocelot's usual attire but seemed constantly on the verge of tearing off the smart waistcoat and neck tie, as if it smothered him.  
  
"Sunny," Ocelot didn't take his eyes off the intruder. "Go."  
"B-but—"  
"Don't argue with me!"  
"Will you be okay?"  
"Get out of here!" His eyes flickered towards her.  
She jumped, "Ocelot!"  
  
The other man had launched forwards and his quick jab was enough to send Ocelot reeling backwards, she heard the crunch as the side of his hand impacted Ocelot's throat. He followed up with a kick that sent Ocelot over backwards, he hit the ground with a gagging choking cough, and rolled out of the way just in time to dodge the other version of himself from pouncing on him. He wasn't fast enough to avoid the vicious kick that hooked into his stomach, or the heel that slammed down into his collar. He grabbed the other's ankle, but turned to Sunny, spat out something like blood that evaporated as it left his lips and she hit the ground.  
  
The world span, her spine ached from sitting down so suddenly, and pangs of pain shot up her wrist where an ugly bruise was forming. Sunny stared at in mute horror as she realised the Wildcat's AI had managed to injure her, she wasn't protected from it any more. Two technicians were shouting at her and she raised her gaze to stare at them uncomprehendingly. Then she realised they were gesturing upwards. Sunny's head snapped up as she caught up with the rapid change of situation and came back into reality. The Wildcat was slowly drawing its head back, whiskers uncoiling and turning to face her. Its jaws were open and twitchy, all its movements sharp and jerking as the twin AI's fought for control. Sunny stood up, hands up, useless for placating the shivering machine. She had no idea who was winning but there was nothing standing between her and the Metal Gear preparing to strike.  
  
Someone other than Sunny was in control for the second it took for her body to tense up and fling itself sideways. She caught herself in a roll she didn't know how to do and only found herself back in control in time to see the Wildcat's battering ram of a beak crash into the concrete where she'd been. Flecks of concrete rained down on her and those still around turned and made a run for it. It wrenched its head back again and turned on her. Screaming in a voice so utterly unlike Ocelot's she found it hard to believe it came from the Wildcat at all.  
"GURLUUUKOOVIIICH!!"  
"Initiate emergency shut down!" She yelled back as firmly as she could as the snarling jaws came back around for her. It groaned to a halt, the various sounds from its body drained away until silence, other than the sound of settling concrete, fell on the hangar.  
  
Sunny stared up at the Wildcat slack jawed as slowly people started to return. The technicians that had been trying to get her attention came to her side, looking pale.  
"God above, you okay?"  
"I-I'm f-f-fine."  
"What happened?"  
"Has he lost it?"  
Sunny shook her head. "I-I'm not s-sure... He, he's s-safe for now. Um... M-make sure he's im-m-mobilized s-so I can b-boot him up and ah w-work s-safely." She hiccuped. "I... I n-need to..." she trailed off. Shivering like a leaf in a gale Sunny wandered out of the hangar.  
  
Bennett pressed back up against the wall behind him, frozen from the Wildcat's sudden attempt on Sunny's life. The Metal Gear was still leaning awkwardly where Sunny had shut it down, with its claws splayed out, and one shoulder raised, its head dipped to the floor. Pulling himself together Bennett ran behind the garages while everyone was too distracted by the Wildcat and fumbled with his mobile phone.  
  
\---  
  
  
"—I see, after...? Yes of course, I'm very happy with the information we've gotten—Yes I believe so, though, haha, yes, not like the prototype, that was, ah, unfortunate. I'm sure we will, we have high hopes for their performance. Thank you. Yes. Goodbye."  
  
The phone had barely clicked onto the hook when Sunny walked unannounced into his office, white as a sheet and trembling. Mr Lewis stood up frowning at the intrusion but held his tongue when he saw the look on her face.  
"S-sir, the W-wildcat is um, it's g-g-going to need more time to-to r-repair."  
"What's happened?"  
She sat down and tried to speak, sucked in a trembling breath and burst into tears.  
  
Some time later, after venting her temporarily repressed horror and then composing herself, Sunny managed to choke out what had happened. Now Mr Lewis stared at her, "This isn't a repeat of the incident with the King Ray?"  
"No! N-no I don't think so. Ocelot w-was, he was sane, this is something else, t-this isn't the-the s-same. I don't think it was Ocelot at all. I think I can fix him."  
He lent back in his chair. "Is it worth it?"  
"Yes! O-of course. W-we need t-t-to know what's wr-rong or it could happen a-again."  
"That’s not what I—" the door banged open and Mr Lewis jumped to his feet. "Does anyone around here know how to knock?" he snapped, but Hal, who'd shoved the office door open so fast he'd almost fallen into the room, ignored him and limped quickly to Sunny's side.  
"Sunny? Are you okay? I just heard—What happened?"  
Sunny roughly wiped her face and stared with renewed determination up at her uncle. "Hal, is the patch ready?"  
"Patch?" Lewis echoed.  
"Nearly, after you—"  
She shook her head. "We have to hurry Uncle Hal! He's still in there!"  
"Who?"  
"Liquid!"


	49. All's Fair in Love and War

“ _Y_ _ou never need to apologise  
for how you chose to survive._ ”

–  
Clementine von Radics, Mouthful of Forevers

 

 Mr Lewis leant back in his chair and let his gaze become unfocused. Considering, not a smudge of old cobweb up in the corner, but Sunny's story and her words to her uncle, at which the older man had gone white as a sheet. After some deliberation he nodded slowly to himself, got up and walked out of his office, hand in his pocket, thumb tracing circles on his mobile phone.  
  
The software development technicians looked wound up when he entered the office. The moment the door opened the words on their lips died and they looked expectantly at their boss. It was no great secret that Mr Lewis had detested the Wildcat from the first moment its AI had become sentient. He'd come up here almost immediately on discovering Ocelot's identity, demanding they scour the AI for any and all signs of deterioration in its brain. They'd found nothing, much to his displeasure, and his hopes to shut down a time-bomb had been dashed in the face of his superior's curiosity. There was nothing wrong with the machine, it had worked perfectly in fact, just with additional unexpected features. Since then the Wildcat's maintenance had remained firmly in the hands of its developmental team.  
  
The Wildcat's software team was now only two individuals, monitoring had become routine. The two software technicians, on seeing the long face of their boss turning towards them from across the room, ducked behind the server racks. It seemed he was up here more often than not just to press them for more reasons to decommission what was rapidly becoming their favourite Metal Gear to work on. While Mr Lewis remained confident that Ocelot was unhinged and it was only a matter of time before the AI's state got bad enough that it became impossible to control, they'd found it to be increasingly organised the more the MB-AI developed; unlike the synthetic AIs which tended to accrue random bits of useless information. They had very little to do with him directly, and that may have warped their opinion of him, but they had no desire to help Mr Lewis destroy what was in their minds, a unique machine. Unfortunately recent events seemed to be supporting his uninformed theories, they expected the worst as he approached.  
  
It wasn't long before they were found.  
Mr Lewis glared at them and they tried not to look too sheepish as they greeted him.  
"Good mor-er-afternoon sir." Sam smiled. "What can we do for you?"  
"We don't have much time!" Ayshah added. "We've really got our hands full processing this data." She gestured at the servers as if their time meant anything to him.  
"Haha. I'm sure you do," he smirked. "Actually that's why I'm here."  
"Oh? How can we help?" Sam crossed their arms and tried to look as irritated at the interruption of their work as possible. It went over Mr Lewis' head.  
"The information being copied off... I don't want any of this data being deleted. Any of it. This needs to all remain on record."  
The two technicians looked sidelong at each other. "Are you sure sir? Last time this sort of data was left we ended up with, well the Wildcat?"  
Ayshah nodded. "I mean, we ah... His is an interesting case from our stand point, but morally it's highly dubious. Even if he wasn't well... A mercenary, spy... Whatever he was."  
"A murderer." Mr Lewis said dryly.  
"And whomever, whatever this is inside his systems; it's threatened him. Do we really want someone like that on file too?"  
"Potentially!" Sam interrupted. "I mean, this isn't a new AI here, it's just—"  
"I understand your concerns," Mr Lewis said firmly. "But the new data will be in good hands, I want this picked apart and understood front to back. I will be organising a separate team for that."  
"Yes, sir."  
Sam sighed through their nose. "We'll make sure everything is kept."  
"Good, I'll be following up tomorrow morning when everything else is set up."  
He wheeled away and the two looked at each other owlishly, "Everything else?"  
"Just means the other team I should think."  
"Really?"  
"Eeh...?"  
  
Back outside the office Mr Lewis bounced his phone in one hand, before deciding to hold back on his excitement and head back to his own office. He fumbled with the lock when he got there and snatched up the phone, having half the number dialled before he'd even sat down.  
"Hello? Yes, I wish to make a change to our most recent order?"  
  
\---  
  
Ingwe rattled her nails against the catwalk railings and glared down at the inky water running below. The young man behind her kept glancing around nervously, everyone knew these old tunnels were haunted, if not by the dead then certainly by the living. Only Ingwe and her favoured few used them regularly. A few of the more daring individuals had gotten stories from Big Boss about missions he and _Militaires Sans Frontières_ had faced here, those stories had spread like a virulent virus across the base. They hadn't helped matters. If the ghosts had been bad before, then Big Boss' stories of the real people who'd killed and been killed down here made it so much worse.  
  
Ingwe was not happy. This was not what she'd anticipated from Shalashaska's desertion.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes, Commander. We still don't know for sure what his communication with the Balam involved, but he arrived at BBR intact, and has been reunited with Sunny Gurlukovich."  
"Imprinted?"  
"Yes."  
"So what's the problem?"  
"Bennett isn't sure of the details, but there has been some kind of disruption with the AI. It lost control this morning and made an attempt on Gurlukovich's life."  
Ingwe smiled to herself. "And her reaction?"  
"She seems... More determined than ever."  
The smile vanished. "Of course. Well no matter. Ready the troops, make sure they're aware of a potential threat of BBR sending forces here, led by the Wildcat. Tell Bennett to make his move at the earliest opportunity."  
"Commander? He's not betrayed us yet, it seems—"  
"Shalashaska may not have turned us in yet, but give him time and he will, if not to them, then to others, we already know he’s in cahoots with one of our our competitors."  
"Commander, in all respect I—"  
"Did I ask for your opinion?"  
"No, I apologise."  
"Shalashaska will not receive a poetic ending, it shall be ignominious and he shall be forgotten in the wake of Big Boss' rise to power. Pass on my message to Bennett, he knows what is expected of him."  
  
Her soldier left, and Ingwe remained stood in the soft light, watching the glittering oily water. Sunny. That doe-eyed girl had been an unexpected problem, and an unexpected boon. She had interrupted their plans, but her skills had allowed them to go ahead. She had failed to bow to pressure while her partner was absent and refrained from leading enemies to them, but in turn she had returned eagerly to Shalashaska, and their partnership was a threat. Anything that empowered Shalashaska was a threat. Ingwe wanted, needed, him weak and vulnerable.  
"All good things in time. Though I had hoped Big Boss himself would see fit to put an end to the traitor."  
  
There was really only one thing for it, since her continued attempts at disrupting the lies the Russian had put into Big Boss' head had been fruitless, she would have to deal with Shalashaska in another way. Instead of heralding the start of Big Boss' glorious return with a display of strength and ruthlessness in expunging Shalashaska from his cause, it would have to be the catalyst to spur him into action. The King Ray's chassis was quickly being rebuilt, now that their parties in Europe and Asia had had their finances sapped to support the reconstruction effort. Ingwe needed the Arsenal Gear back up on its feet as soon as possible, not just physically but mentally. So far the vibrant leader she remembered from her childhood seemed like nothing more than a long ago memory. The damage done by his so-called allies ran deep, deeper than she'd thought. No matter. Once he got a fresh taste of battle he would become his old self again. If he was determined to believe the serial-traitor Shalashaska was his friend then so be it, let his friend's death be the trigger he needed. Time would tell if he'd ever see the truth, but the past was nothing in comparison to the future that awaited him and his loyal soldiers. She smiled tightly to herself, one way or another he would get what he deserved and Big Boss would regain his title as the Legendary Soldier. This time safe from that parasite.  
  
\---  
  
Sunny sat in the corner of Hal's office space, clutching a cup of tea in her hands and forcing herself to breathe deeply and calm down.  
  
Every couple of minutes her thoughts would spiral out of control into a silent scream over how unfair it all was, but just as the tension was building in her throat she'd take another shaky breath. Break the train of thought. Remind herself that 'fairness' didn't play in the real world. There would be a period of relative peace, then a moment later she'd be riling herself up again. She took a sip of her tea, which was mostly cold now, and found herself blaming Doctor West for this. She tried not to but it was so easy. Never mind that Otselotovaya Khvatka had orchestrated this, they were too big and too threatening for her to focus on right now. So while she watched her uncle out of the corner of her eye she ran through all the reasons why West was at fault. If it hadn't been for him Ocelot's memories could never have been used to construct an AI. The AI would never have awoken. If his own history hadn't been used as a trap to keep him contained until his pilot contacted him; it couldn't have been used to make her sympathise and support Ocelot. West should have done a better job at protecting the AI so this rogue element couldn't have gotten a grip on Ocelot, he should have fixed the problem sooner, at least back at the hidden base.  
  
The base… The PMC.  
  
She ducked her head until her chin was almost on her chest, of course if West hadn't cooperated they'd have found someone else. It had taken her a while to come to terms with the fact that the sizeable base in South America, wasn't the only group of Otselotovaya Khvatka—they had been building their ranks under pseudonyms for years, who knew how many nominally unassociated PMCs were small branches of Liquid Ocelot's legacy. Of course, if Ocelot hadn't been so fixated on some half-dead old soldier, he never would have implanted Liquid's personality onto his own in the first place. If things had turned out like he'd planned, Ocelot would have left BBR as soon as Bran, Crow, had taken his place as pilot, but instead she'd gotten involved. She'd defended Ocelot, let him trick her into bringing back Big Boss.  
  
Hal and Sunny met each others gaze over the office for a moment, then they both looked away. The expression on Ocelot's face as she'd been evicted from the virtual reality haunted her. She couldn't rest easy knowing Ocelot was locked inside his own head with... Was it Liquid? A ghost built out of Ocelot's own attempts at manipulating his own identity years before; could it be really said to be 'Liquid'? Well it was certainly out to get Ocelot whatever and whoever it was, and Ocelot himself had been afraid enough she could imagine that to him, it certainly seemed like a vengeful spirit out for blood.  
  
The emergency shut down she had initiated in self defence had made the backups fail. Now the Wildcat was immobilized in the hangars, blinded and even his transmitters and receivers disconnected. Once again the ear splitting silence had come crashing down on Sunny, and the sense of abandonment was welling up around her again. Yet she was aware that whatever she was going through, what he was facing inside his own mind right now was far worse, and he had no escape, outside of his own VR the world was dark, silent and numb. She shuddered.  
  
"So." Hal said tersely. "Liquid really had it in for him, hmn?"  
"I guess so," she answered cautiously. "I don't really know how this works, it's not Liquid per se, but it's Ocelot's... Version of him. With Ocelot's memories of what happened, but it's been interpreted into something similar to Liquid."  
"I can understand, I'd be angry too if I were him."  
"You are angry."  
They glanced at each other, then away again.  
  
She could understand Liquid’s rage too, but it seemed to go far deeper than Shadow Moses. Between what Ocelot had shown her, and what she'd seen before he'd awakened, Liquid hadn't treated Ocelot in a friendly manner then either. Did he and Ocelot simply have a natural animosity against each other, or was Liquid—she didn't doubt this new AI was as sure of his identity as Ocelot had been of his when he awoke, and might as well be considered Liquid until further notice—that resentful of what Ocelot did? She'd forgiven, no, overlooked so much that it seemed peculiar to her, but then what had happened between Liquid and Ocelot had been so very personal. Something she hadn't experienced. Ocelot had never undermined all her work, to the point of causing her death! But still…  
  
"Liquid is so different to Solid Snake, I'm not sure I can even start to understand him."  
He muttered in reply. "And sometimes you think you understand and you don't."  
"Uncle Hal!" Her cup banged down on the table, its contents sloshed. "I know you're angry at me, but why won't you just talk to me?"  
"I am talking with you."  
"No you're not!"  
He sighed and slumped back in his chair.  
"Ask me! I know you have questions, s-so just ask them will you?"  
  
Hal looked miserable as he finally looked up and spoke, "I just don't understand why you'd hide any of this from me? Why didn't you tell me he intended to come back?"  
"Because I didn't believe him. I thought he was just trying to..." She shrugged. "Keep me s-satisfied until I gave up on him ever coming back. I didn't... I didn't believe him, and if I accepted that he wasn't coming back, I hoped I could just... Move on. Forget him."  
He nodded slowly. "And the... What was that?"  
"The projection? I'm still not entirely sure why you saw that."  
"So it's been going on a while?"  
She shrugged.  
"I didn't like seeing you all over him like that." He muttered and Sunny laughed. He took off his glasses and cleaned them angrily.  
"I'm sorry, it's just... What do you think we have? Ocelot and I?"  
"I'm not sure I want to know any more."  
She smiled, "Nothing like that, he's... My friend I guess, while it lasts, but I'm not, I don't know, bedazzled by him or anything. He has a terrible sense of humour anyway."  
  
Hal put his glasses back on and looked up at her, the picture of worry.  
"It's complicated." She admitted.  
"I thought you might say that."  
"Well it is. We're in contact almost all the time, on a very personal level. He can see what I see, feel what I feel, and the same for me. We can talk through our nanomachines but the human mind isn't really meant for 'reading' so there's a lot of... Bleed through?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"When he came back, once I calmed down... I could feel how he felt, he couldn't hide it, it was too strong. He was so scared Uncle Hal, I’ve been with him in combat and never felt anything close to that. I don't know how else to put it, but you can't share that much of your life with someone and not get close to them."  
"I get that at least. But the... Projection did you call it?"  
"I didn't mention it because I knew how uncomfortable you were that Ocelot and I could talk via our nanos, let alone anything else."  
"How do you do it?"  
  
She looked embarrassed. "Sorry, I'm not really sure. I thought it might just be a case of um... taking more information from the Wildcat's systems than just sound waves, but so far I don't think I've met anyone else who could do it? But that doesn't mean anything, it might just be I figured it out by accident. I mean the concept seems fairly straight forwards. If I can get sound why not other things? I mean I know the nanomachines stimulate my eardrums to convey sound, but if it's just a matter of stimulating the right parts at the right time... And if I can control things through them, why not control and produce an image at the same time?" She frowned. "I mean, we all use VR already…"  
"Not on the level you do it seems."  
"I don't know why you could see it though, unless it is just controlled by Ocelot and it has nothing to do with what I can do." She shrugged and half heartedly mopped up the coffee she'd spilt with a tissue.  
  
"I can't believe I d-didn't check."  
"For what?"  
"For Liquid! Ocelot's memory banks were built after he and Naomi s-started turning him into Liquid Ocelot. Of course there was the, the, the potential for him to resurrect too. I feel s-so s-stupid." Hal stood up and came up to her, she turned to meet him and sunk gratefully into his arms, he felt tense. "Ocelot was d-depending on me, I let him down."  
"You couldn't have known, Sunny."  
"I s-should have just been content, I didn't need answers and I've barely gotten any anyway, I shouldn't have messed with that AI."  
Hal kissed her head and took a while to answer, but when he did his answer surprised her.  
  
"Well, you did, and now we have Ocelot and Liquid to contend with, and Ocelot needs us so... Lets do what we can, okay?"  
Sunny stood up away from him and stared. "You're serious? You want to help?"  
"I... Don't want Liquid back, more than I don't want Ocelot back. He has been trying to keep you safe, and you do seem to like him... Which I also don't like but I'm sure you have your reasons."  
"Um... You know, seems silly to bring this up now but—I remember a night... I must have been really young, I d-don't even know how accurate any of this is, but you'd put me to bed like five times."  
Hal laughed, "That was every night!”  
"Yeah well, this time was different. Dave was late, and when he finally got home, I heard him, you cried out and I distinctly remember him s-saying 'd-don't worry, it's not my blood'." She fell silent, staring off as the memory replayed in her mind.  
"Ah... Yeah I remember that. Sunny they’re so different, you can't—"  
"You can. You can compare them. How and why they were raised the way they were, what they were trained for, the lives they lived. It's like with Big Boss... Ocelot didn't know how to help him, he just presumed Big Boss knew what was best, and it turned out badly, because..." She looked up brightly. "Because I think he needs that? I mean… Not for it turn out badly, to be told what to do? Ocelot had it drilled into him for so long that he was a servant for a higher cause, an agent for the US, a spy for the Russians, an interrogator for his commanding officer. It's what he was raised to believe and do. So he, he could dedicate himself to Big Boss, I don't know how, but he did, instead of whomever he was supposed to work for, only once he had, Big Boss was... Was everything to him, his um, _raison d'etre_. I'm not entirely sure Ocelot could have argued with him even if he disagreed. Not in the way you would have said 'no' to Dave! The way you did! He could now, I think. He's trying." She took a deep shaky breath and tried to slow down her tirade. "Ocelot couldn't help Big Boss like you helped Snake, but he wants to be able to and, and while there's that crack in his way of thinking, I want to help him."  
  
Hal gazed up at her sorrowfully. "You're a good person, Sunny. Too good for the likes of him."  
"Thanks Uncle Hal, but I don't think it works like that. I've given up seeing him in terms of good and evil, it's not realistic, he's just a person who's done what he could with the tools he was given, maybe he made the wrong choices but all of ours haven't been perfect and maybe that's where I can help, I have a different perspective on life to him."  
"I hope you can help him."  
"You do?"  
He looked down at the desk. "I don't want to think about the alternative."  
  
\---  
  
Hal was trying to finish up his work as fast as possible. They had escaped to West's house after a late night call following the Wildcat's return. A quiet reminder that Hal Emmerich's freedoms were still restricted and as BBR had Not personally requested his input on the Wildcat, he was not to do any extraneous work on the topic of the AI's issues. They were still being watched. It hadn't surprised Sunny that they'd been left alone this long, after all Hal had tried to destroy Metal Gear in the past, and done a good job of it. On the quiet, Mr Lewis probably wasn't the only one hoping Ocelot would meet a sticky end and who better to leave it to than the surviving members of Philanthropy, the Anti-Metal Gear organisation? Now that it was clear he wasn't going to do that, it was time to remind him of his place in the world.  
  
Hal wanted to get himself and Sunny away from all this before more things could go wrong, the sooner the patch could be passed off to the technicians the better in his mind, but Sunny was adamant they not trust BBR. Silently, reluctantly, he agreed. Outwardly he told her how bad of an idea this was and how they were only going to get themselves into trouble, but while he couldn't bring himself to fully accept Ocelot as a human, he had to admit he was more than just a machine now. If Ocelot was left to BBR who knew what they would do to him. West's work seemed solid enough, but without being able to cross reference it to the Wildcat itself, they were only hoping that the errant secondary AI trying to force itself into the dominant role could be cleaned out and then the risk of it reoccurring expunged by this code. They weren't working completely uninformed however: West's home computer had been linked up to his work one. It hadn't taken much for Sunny to get to the information that was still automatically being sent to that machine. Now Hal's eyes darted to the readings that had been sent up to him. He hadn't told Sunny yet that there were a number of corrupt memory files, he wasn't sure how many could be salvaged from previous backups. Salvaged... What sort of memories was he even trying to save?  
  
He paused in his work. Weighing up his options, his personal morals. It wouldn't be that hard to put a stop to this now would it? The Wildcat was helpless, and Mr Lewis certainly wouldn’t have any qualms with it... No... Sunny would realise, she would never forgive him. He'd slipped things past David, Solid Snake had trusted him with his life, and never anticipated the times Hal hadn't told him full truths, and hadn't even expected the full truth when it came to computers. What Hal had spent a life time learning however, was simply daily routine to Sunny. Sunny might have shunned regular computer work, but she could manipulate the Wildcat's computers with her mind, and she didn't even seem to realise the enormity of that, she just did it! No, she'd notice if he tampered, or claimed it was too late. More than that: she wouldn't rest until she'd undone his sabotage. Undone it piece by piece until the whole picture was before her and there was nowhere for him to hide. He would have succeeded in pushing her away and in doing so, push her straight into the arms of... The man he was debating saving right now. He slumped in his chair and looked over his shoulder at Sunny but if she noticed she didn't respond. And yet… She wasn’t the first to make these confusing choices.  
  
The memory of Naomi Hunter lingered on, with many unanswered questions. For whatever reason she had willingly stayed by Ocelot's side for many years, at least a decade by Hal’s reasoning. Big Mama had stressed that she'd known Ocelot better than he or Snake could imagine. Dimly he was aware of Ocelot's preferential treatment of Sniper Wolf, while to say the young woman had been happy to deal with him would be an exaggeration, there was little doubt she responded to him more warmly than the other members of FoxHound. Wolf had been incredibly withdrawn and depressed, but she'd responded positively to Ocelot's attempts to connect with her; Big Mama had known the gunman for nearly fifty years; Naomi had thrown away her chance at a normal life to support Ocelot, long after her desire for revenge on Snake had come and gone, and had seemed to have a personal relationship with him of some kind... And Big Boss too… Snake had described him as being untrusting and paranoid, and yet he continued to put his faith in someone the rest of the world saw as a traitor. Hal could only surmise that there was more to Ocelot than he'd come to believe, the side he'd seen when Ocelot had returned to the base, to Sunny.  
  
Hal rubbed his temples. It shouldn't have been so surprising to him really, that there was more to Ocelot than guns and torture. Considering what he'd personally known about Solid Snake, in contrast to what the media would have had the public believe. Hero to terrorist over night... They'd turned on him in an instant. The country that had created him had turned on him, had Ocelot just turned on his would-be-masters before they could abandon him? They would have turned on him, Hal realised, Ocelot had been the generation before Snake, but their roles were not so different. With the creation of _Les Enfants Terribles_ , Ocelot would have become obsolete.  
  
He sighed as Ashlee handed him another strong cup of tea, and thanked her. Ocelot was not to be trusted, he wasn't even to be liked, but maybe it was time to stop seeing him as anything other than another person making do. Sunny was right, judging him by some impossible standards of Good verses Evil was absurd, it hadn’t even been something he thought about before. There just hadn’t been any question of it: Ocelot had been their enemy. Now? He wasn’t. Or might not be. That was the problem, when you got right down to it, they had no idea if Ocelot was a friend or foe, or how that might pan out in the future. Hal blew steam off his tea, starting to get a headache. Enjoy it while it lasts, he thought, that’s how Sunny’s approaching the relationship. I guess I’ll just have to do the same, if nothing else this is an opportunity to learn how to take him down when the time comes.  
  
"Sunny?"  
"Mn?"  
"I'm just wrapping up here, time to go home?"  
"Yeah... Do you think he'll be okay tonight?"  
"Well... I don't know. But there's nothing we can do for him here and now."  
"Well I...”  
“There’s no point in just hanging around waiting.”  
“N-no."  
  
They walked to the car together in silence, and it wasn't until they were on the road home that Hal finally asked something that had been nagging at him: "Do you think he missed you?"  
Sunny looked around at him startled out of her stupor. "Who? Ocelot?"  
Hal hesitated and glanced at her while the road was clear. "I was disorientated by the whole thing, but I saw the two of you. I mean, I just mean he came running for you, and he was smiling—"  
"Oh he was just trying to stop me getting angry—"  
"No! No while you weren't looking."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah."  
"O-oh…"  
His fingers tap danced on the wheel. "I can't say I was happy about it."  
"…"  
"The idea of him laying a hand on you—"  
"I was okay with it."  
"I know. I know and as long as you're happy then... Well you're not a child any more."  
"No. And I don't know, maybe he did? I mean can you blame him, coming all that way with Liquid rambling on in his head, I'd want to see another person. I missed him." She knotted her hands together. "I'm not sure how to explain it, but there's... I feel more like myself around him." She saw Hal's worried glance and she shrugged. "Besides, I like his company, and I made a promise to him."  
"A promise?"  
  
She remained silent for a long while before adding: "Maybe it's just because he's older, but I don't find myself needing to explain myself to him, or being afraid of needing to... I-I don't know what it is but there's something similar about us that I've not found before. Is it selfish of me not to want to lose that?"  
Hal shook his head. "I don't think so."  
"I enjoy working with him, I don't think I'd have made it as a pilot at all without him to help me."  
"You're a good pilot!"  
"Thanks, but that's not the bit that worries me. He's the one that really handles the fighting, I don't think... if it was just me alone, I could have done half the things required of the two of us together."  
"Mmn. I guess that's why Naomi worked with him too."  
Sunny looked up suddenly smiling. "She loved the mansion you know, I remember her telling me how happy it made her that she could grow her flowers there."  
Hal shot her a confused look as they pulled into the final stretch to home. "What do you mean, Sunny?"  
"The Vista Mansion, Ocelot gave her space for her garden as well as the lab, she told me she was really surprised he encouraged it. At the time I thought she meant as his prisoner, but I guess it was since growing roses didn't really help either of them in their mission." She smiled and shook her head. "He's so weird. Maybe that's why she liked him."  
  
Naomi Hunter. She'd died long before answering the many questions Hal had had for her. He knew she had been arrested for her subterfuge on Shadow Moses where she'd been aiding Ocelot. It hadn't been long before she was broken out of prison, only to later show up at Liquid Ocelot's side, nominally as his prisoner. After she was left unguarded at the Vista Mansion in South America she'd temporarily joined Hal and Snake on the Nomad, only to leave the data files she'd intended to give to Hal to Sunny instead before fleeing back to Liquid Ocelot as soon as possible. It had puzzled them at the time, but it had turned out she'd been in on his plan from the start. For a long time after he had wondered why she'd come to the Nomad, instead of simply giving Snake the files to pass on to Hal but then Ocelot had answered that question himself. He’d known Sunny’s abilities, he’d sent Naomi to check in on her, to make sure she was right for the job. Hal’s skin crawled and he shivered.  
  
At the time they hadn't realised it had been Ocelot who'd come to Naomi's rescue after Shadow Moses, only that it had been blamed on Snake. They hadn't known that their history together stretched back further than that either. She had never been his prisoner and in hindsight it had been naive to think that she wasn't more heavily invested in his plans. Hal had seen the footage from the Vista Mansion of course, the luxury new-build hacienda with adjacent lab, where the money had gone into the equipment before the hastily built structure, and yet whomever was behind it had still gone out of their way to have a safe passage dug between the house and the lab and as Sunny said, there were the gardens: the small rose garden around Naomi's lab, the sprawling terraced garden that surrounded the house, with neat hedges and terracotta pots of well tended Stars of Bethlehem.  
  
At the time they'd not had much reason to give the deserted mansion much thought, it could have been anyone's, and usurped to serve a new purpose. With Sunny's words Hal considered again the garden of white flowers—the same ones that had, in hologram form, decorated the AI core of Outer Haven, Liquid Ocelot's base of operations—the paintings depicting scenes from the Garden of Eden within the house. Had the Vista Mansion actually been Ocelot's house, a home, that he'd given over to Naomi? After all she had almost vanished off the map after her prison break, it would have been a safe place for her, would anyone local have suspected? Dared suspect? Or had any reason to do anything about it even if they had? He felt ridiculous just thinking about this now. He and Snake had had a private life, of a sort, if you considered hopping from motel to motel to dingy apartment, sleeping in the backs of vans and trying to remember what names they were hiding behind and never having a spare moment to themselves, a 'private life'. Then Philanthropy had taken off when their unidentified patron had come to the rescue, and shortly after that a three year old Sunny had been left with them and their lives had grown more complex, and all the better for it. It really only made sense that Ocelot had had a house somewhere, a place to escape to, a life outside what they had known, a life that until now he'd never considered. Sunny… Left with them intentionally, the unknown patron who’d ensured Philanthropy had always had the money it needed to thrive as an organisation of two… then three… Sunny had grown up around the very technologically that had allowed her to take down Liquid Ocelot. He stared blankly out of the window, a sense of horror creeping up the back of his neck and prickling at his skill. Had they been played from the start?  
  
"Uncle Hal? Are we... Going inside?"  
He shook himself.  
“You okay?"  
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine…"  
"Tired?"  
"Mmn."  
"Come one, lets go in."  
"Do you ever think that while Dave and I had been… Passed out in car seats down some side road, hiding, Ocelot might very well have been sitting with his feet up in comfort in South America?" Watching us. He didn’t add.  
Half way out of the car Sunny looked back to stare at him.  
"Somehow it doesn't seem fair.”


	50. Optimism

" _Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable._ "

\--

Voltaire

  


Sunny stood in the lee of the wall and stared up at the huge covered lorries that were trailing into the complex. There were a few locals standing alongside the road, eager for a first glance at the new delivery. It was easy to step in line and slip in with one of them as they crawled past with a crunch of immense weight on loose gravel. Maybe the security guard would have let her through, but she'd officially been told to remain off site since the Wildcat had been shut down. She'd remained working at the Wests' home for days, staying awake until she couldn't any more, sleeping on the sofa. Ashlee had been kind, and concerned, but had left Sunny alone, nervous of her guest. Hal had taken the completed patch, which Sunny had gone over with a fine tooth comb, into work this morning.  
  
Two technicians still drinking their tea were stood looking up at the static Wildcat and talking when she approached across the quiet hangar, they greeted her and told her to watch out for the supervisors. They were all on edge with the new shipment coming in and even less likely than usual to entertain her presence. Hal was upstairs in the office, so Sunny sent him a text. He said he'd be down soon.  
  
"The Wildcat's in a hell of a shape," one of them said. "Everyone's been putting in overtime to get the foreign AI out of his head but honestly? Who knows how much damage was already done, I think you're going to have to be careful with him, he's gonna be confused and, well we all know how grumpy he gets, right?"  
He was smiling and Sunny forced a grin that was more of a grimace onto her face and nodded.  
"Anyway, the rollback has started, so... only time will tell. I mean, it might not be too bad. The other AI seems to eh, be laying low, all the really bad damage seems to have been done after it arrived here."  
  
The Wildcat was still in its tipped over position from where it had lunged for her, though its scrabbling foreleg had been dragged back out of the way. Its behaviour had scared everyone. Sunny had been glad to spend time away from home, she hadn't wanted to explain to her uncle why she'd been been waking up crying out more often now. Ashlee was a heavy sleeper, or possibly very non-intrusive. Standing again in-front of of the perpetually snarling face of the Metal Gear made her fear surge to the surface once again. Maybe she should have always been afraid of Ocelot, but the idea of Liquid Snake lurking inside this powerful chassis frightened her far more than Ocelot ever had.  
  
"Oh, Sunny? While I remember, Mr Lewis has given orders for all this data to be kept."  
"Why?"  
"Not sure, just thought you might want to know."  
"Huh... Thanks."  
  
"Uncle Hal!"  
"Sunny, you're here already? I didn't expect you for a while yet."  
"Yeah... Guess so, sorry."  
"It's no good, if you're spotted by the wrong person they'll chuck you out, and we can't let the guy at the gate get in trouble for us."  
"I know... But I don't want him to wake up without me being here."  
Hal sighed. "For once, I agree with you on this... Ocelot does need you right now. I know how bad Snake was waking up after an unexpected nap, let alone loosing days, maybe weeks of memories. We're saving what we can but I think he could really use having someone he trusts with him."  
"Then you'll let me stay?"  
"No, I'll escort you out, say you were just dropping off my lunch after I forgot it."  
"But—"  
"And I'll ring you before we reboot him, depending on how it goes it might not even be until tomorrow anyway."  
"But—"  
"It'll be fine!"  
  
Sunny slunk home, not bothering to stick around to gawk at the huge lorries. By the time she got there it was lunch time, but her mind wasn't on the ball and she burnt her food. She ate it anyway, hoping it wasn’t a bad omen.  
  
\---  
  
"What's she doing here?"  
Sunny gave Mr Lewis a hard look, but he wasn't paying attention, he was addressing Hal, who didn't turn to look at him as his fingers danced across the keyboard.  
"She's here for the same reason the hangar has been cleared for this." He looked up at the Wildcat, its cockpit gaping open morbidly like a gash in its skull. "Sunny, are you sure about this?"  
"Very sure, Uncle Hal."  
"Then we're ready to go, just give us the go ahead and we'll reinstate the AI and... See what happens." Mr Lewis bristled as she walked past and ignored him, and missed the dangerous narrowing of his eyes in doing so.  
  
She shook badly climbing up to the cockpit, and had to focus hard just on where she was putting her hands and feet or risk slipping. She made it up to the edge and looked inside at the cramped padded seating arrangement, how many times had she climbed in and out with a manipulator arm to lean on? Done it to quickly and confident in her safety that he could be lifting her into the air long before she was in her seat?  
  
She swung her legs in and pulled the canopy down on its carefully balanced hinges as she dropped into the seat. She'd never felt this uncomfortable at the Wildcat's controls before, awake or not the Metal Gear had always been a safe place. Not knowing what waited for her in the sizeable computer bank behind her filled her with dread as she checked the circuit breakers, and rested her hands near the controls and watched Hal. Everyone's eyes were on the windscreen except for him, then he finished what he was doing on the computers and gave her the thumbs up. Ground power on, she flashed the lights and he nodded, gave her another confirmation and turned back to the computers, pausing long enough to hear the cooling fans whir into action, then the lights flashed again and he typed in the confirmation code and pressed enter. With the deliberate CLICK sounding very loud in the hangar, those few gathered took a nervous step backwards. Sunny held her breath as the program launched and loaded up.  
  
The process was agonizingly normal, she'd have given a lot for some sign of abnormality, something, anything to break the monotony of something so horrible. Then it was done. She hesitated, there was a part of her that just wanted to shut off the computers and walk away, leave him to someone else, but this was her lot to bear. The reboot went smoothly to the maintenance computers, she checked the readings, all normal and stable, and switched the Wildcat over to its operational systems and restarted. It look a while, far longer than the first start up, but then the Metal Gear was thrumming with life and the hollow sensation from her nanomachines lifted as they reconnected to the other machine.  
  
Sunny hiccuped and slumped back against the chair, fighting back tears as a confused and suspicious voice said her name in the back of her head.  
"Ocelot? Tell me it's you!"  
_Who else would it be?_  
"You don't remember?"  
_What? What happened? My dates are wrong, really wrong, was I shut down, I don't remember? I'm back at BBR?  
_ "Y-yeah," she wiped her eyes. "Yeah, you were, you are, do you feel okay?"  
_I feel like I've been headbutting an iceberg._ He grumbled. _What happened? Are you going to tell me?  
_ "I... Here," she let down her guards and felt him pry curiously as she explained what she knew. A few moments passed that turned into a minute after she'd lapsed into silence and just as she was getting concerned that she'd caused something to go wrong he said: _Oh.  
  
_ "Do you feel okay?" she repeated.  
He remained silent, thinking before she felt his affirmative. _Yes, I think I'm okay, I don't feel anyone or anything here but you and me.  
_ "Is VR safe?"  
_I see no reason why it wouldn’t be. This time.  
  
_ Hal and the others stared up at the active Metal Gear, it remained still, Sunny hadn't needed to be reminded to keep his movement disconnected. The dark windscreen left them none-the-wiser of what was going on. Uncomfortable and on the tip of their toes they waited for Sunny's response, for the cockpit to open, anything! But the stillness remained. Hal had expected this, he knew that if Ocelot woke up normally Sunny would probably have her hands full keeping him calm and getting him up to date, but it still took all his will not to presume the worst of her silence.  
  
–-  
  
Ocelot practically leapt at her, stooping and grasping her shoulders almost painfully as he sought to make eye-contact, his eyebrows almost knotting.  
"Were you hurt?" he asked. "Did Liquid... did I… What happened?" a pained look flashed across his expression and his gaze dropped. Sunny had expected a lot from him, anger, fear, an impromptu interrogation for all the answers she hadn't given him yet, all the doubts he might have that he was clear of his parasite AI. Concern for her had not been on the table. Before he could regain his composure and back off she reached up to touch his cheek and he looked up.  
"You saved me. Thank you." Sunny smiled as he looked side to side in confusion as if not sure how to process this news.  
"Well I'm not letting Liquid just walk in here like he owns the place," he finally scoffed. "What do you take me for? Ah... How much have I forgotten?"  
  
\---  
  
She dropped to the ground and hurried to meet Hal.  
"He's fine!" She said quickly. "He was confused when he woke up, but I was able to fill him in on everything easily enough. He's concerned that he might have lost something important from the last week or so, but he and I are going to try to work through those memories later, see what I can fill in, but it looks like he's going to be fine."  
"Good, good I'm glad." And Hal found he meant it. "Is he—"  
"Still immobile, but I engaged his cameras and microphones, I didn't want him waking up blind, it might have disturbed him."  
Hal nodded. "Understandable."  
Mr Lewis' shiny shoes snapped over to them on the concrete. "Well then," he said tersely. "I think it's about time you went? Your work here is done."  
Sunny's eyes narrowed before she could stop them and she looked over her shoulder at the Wildcat.  
_Sounds like you've been getting into trouble without me.  
  
_ Hal didn't like the sharpness of her expression as she straightened up and strode out of the hangar. She was angry, that much was clear, but the confidence and energy she'd been lacking since Ocelot's initial disappearance seemed to have come crashing back in an instant. It reminded him of Meryl's attitude under the influence of SOP and he didn't like it at all. He eyed up the Wildcat suspiously.  
"I should drive her home," he said to Mr Lewis, who'd gone somewhat purple in hue. "This has been hard on her, I'd rather she wasn't alone on the way."  
"Very well," he looked up at the Metal Gear with open disgust. "Almost thought we'd lost you there Old Man, haha, would have been a shame!" Ocelot remained silent, his speakers still disconnected. The hairs on Hal's arms stood on end, he couldn't believe the dislike radiating from the Wildcat was purely his imagination.  
  
\---  
  
Bennett flicked his cigarette butt to the ground, then regretted it and lit another. He was shaky. The shaking had started when the Wildcat had returned, but been dispelled for a time with the Wildcat's suspension, now it was back and he craved the cigarette rolling between his lips more than ever. He hadn't signed up for this, lead the man to Otselotovaya Khvatka? Yes! Kidnapping? Yes he could do that, she wasn't a problem, but this? Now that the Wildcat was experienced? He took a deep breath and ignored the other support worker stroll over languidly to have his tea break in the smoking shed. Damn it, no, he had not signed up to make an opponent of Revolver Ocelot. Hell the man's skills had inspired him many years ago, though his own life goals had been pushed aside when Ingwe had found him. Damn woman, did she even know what she was doing any more?  
  
The longer he was out here the more time he had to think, and right now he was thinking that her goals were just some personal vendetta against the man, while it was his arse on the line, not hers! It wouldn't take long for Ocelot to realise Sunny hadn't been under threat and he'd been lured out here.  
  
He'd suffered Bennett and the Jackal's presence this long, but it wouldn't be much longer before he found a way to remove them from the picture right? One did not simply injure the pride of man like this and expect to walk away free and laughing. Falling into a coughing fit at one poorly timed intake of breath and smoke, Bennett reflected that he might need to make a run for it and hope that Ingwe was too invested in challenging the old soldier to bother with him.  
"Never should have gotten involved."  
"Huh?"  
"Nothing. Talking to myself."  
"First sign of madness that!"  
"Huh." No, he thought, that was agreeing to piss off Ocelot in the first place, second sign is agreeing to do it again.  
  
\---  
  
"Did you see him?" Sunny muttered under her breath as she crossed the apron.  
_Yes,_ _did we find out his name?_ _  
_ "Bennett. Not sure about his first name." She didn't say anything more until she'd passed through the gates and was walking down the side of road.   
_He's the Jackal's pilot_ _eh…_  
"Yeah. I've been wanting to point him out before, but he seems to keep out of way a lot. Until recently."  
_Recently?  
_ "I keep... He's been hanging out insight of the hangars, I keep seeing him around, I think he's keeping an eye on you."  
_Or you.  
_ "M-me?"  
_If you keep seeing him, then he's been seeing you too. I came back here originally because I believed you were at risk,_ _I remember that_ _. I'm glad to see nothing has happened to you, but that doesn't mean the threat has passed.  
_ "…"  
_Sunny?  
_ "You may be right. I d-didn't think of th-that." She shuddered.  
_Sunny…  
_ "I'm o-okay, I just, didn't-didn't need to be t-thinking about…"  
_I'll keep an eye open, we'll soon know which one of us he's watching, and I still have an optional connection to your uncle.  
_ "Y-you do? I thought he m-might of cleared that d-down?"  
_Apparently not. If this 'Bennett' is a problem I might be grateful for that too.  
  
I don't like this Sunny, how long before I'm mobile again?  
_ "I'm n-not s-sure, s-sorry. We need to keep you monitored for a while in... in-case…"  
_In-case Liquid is still in here?_  
"Y-yeah."  
_Do you think he is?  
_ "I don't know. I hope not."  
_You worked on this?  
_ "Y-yes."  
_Well then I have faith_ _this will turn out fine._  
"Thanks."  
_Besides, between us I think we could spot him again a mile off, right?_ He tried to sound upbeat, it fell flat.  
"Y-yeah…"  
A car pulled up to the pavement beside her and Hal smiled at her from the driver's seat.  
"You could have waited for me?"  
"Sorry, Uncle Hal. I just, I didn't realise—"  
"It's okay, jump in I'll drop you home."  
  
_Hey, Ocelot?  
Hmm?  
_ Sunny continued to stare out of the window as if she was deep in thought. _When we get home remind me: I have something I want to show you.  
O_ _oo_ _h?  
_ She stifled a smile. _Yeah, I'd forgotten all about it until I saw that place, in VR.  
_ She felt his confusion and the subtle nudge against her thoughts, she pushed him back and he grumbled.  
_A surprise? Really?  
I hardly ever get to surprise you.  
You surprise me constantly. Usually by showing me the state of your cooking.  
_ "Hey!"  
"Sunny?"  
"Er, nothing sorry." _Hey er... be careful tonight okay? If anyone looks like they're up to something—  
I'll tell you right away.  
_ She nodded to herself and Hal raised his eyebrows and shook his head. _Good, you're not in a position to defend yourself right now._  
I'm all too aware of that. Now. About this surprise?


	51. Deadman's Gun

 

 _"Far, in the distance_  
 _There is light, a light that burns, these scars of old_  
 _All this pain, reminds me of what I am_  
 _I'll live, I'll become all I need to be_ ,"

\--

Sins of the Father, MGS5

 

Hal propped his head up on his hand and watched Sunny at the stove. Ocelot hovered at her shoulder. Hal has started to figure out what he was doing. Sunny had told him that previously Ocelot had been 'projecting' his image onto what her brain perceived, adding him to her reality. It had been hard to work to continuously update his image to match what she was looking at. What Hal was starting to understand was that now, Ocelot had constructed from experience, a VR version of the world around Sunny, it was this he existed in and overlaid the real world with this image, AR rather than VR—though he didn't project the environment too, that was purely for him to navigate within. It reflected Sunny's movements and was tied directly to her nanomachines, rather than being controlled purely by Ocelot struggling to keep up with her. This was why Hal could now be privy to the projection, he was now included in the AR that Ocelot had constructed, and it responded to Hal's nanos separately to Sunny's. Why Ocelot chose to include Hal was another question entirely. Ocelot couldn't have consciously projected himself as an individual to both Sunny and Hal without a VR built around them to exist in, he couldn't have processed what they were both looking at at once and changed his appearance accordingly. Occasionally he fell out of sync and the world would develop a peculiar double image effect, but it would be gone as soon as it appeared, though Ocelot himself remained slightly and unpredictably unsuited to reality's lighting. Hal was torn, on one had it was discomforting to have Ocelot present, on the other hand it was comforting to know if he was present, he could also be seen.  
  
Occasionally Ocelot turned to look at him, sometimes curiously, other times smiling, but the smiles seemed forced and it was occurring to Hal that Ocelot was probably just as uncomfortable with him as he was with Ocelot. While he was communicating with both of them, it would be hard to miss how deliberately and carefully he spoke to Hal. Sunny on the other hand seemed to have a gift for relaxing him, and even when he was scolding her for making some mistake there was no malice in his tone, in fact he seemed to enjoy teaching her. Hal just hoped cooking was the only thing he enjoyed teaching her.  
  
_No, not like that_ _—_ _Quickly! I thought I told you to turn down the heat?  
_ "No!"  
_Are you sure?_  
"Yes!"  
_I'm not. Oh look, here…  
_ Hal frowned, it had put him at ease to finally see the partners so relaxed in each other's presence and yet…  
"Doesn't it bother you when he does that?"  
Ocelot moved the pan off the heat and once it was down let Sunny go, she turned and shrugged.  
"Not really, he can't do it without my permission," she dropped her gaze. "I think it bothers me more when you take over honestly. Sorry. I mean…"  
_Just pushing in and taking over a job is rude._ Ocelot muttered and smiled to himself when Hal bristled.  
  
Ocelot had been the one to suggest Sunny cook tonight. Hal had voiced his doubts, saying that Sunny would probably be better off resting, but he'd been right. Focusing on cooking and having his company had taken her mind off the problems at hand and it was nice to see her making progress with her cooking. At least Ocelot had that going for him. The meals he helped with turned out very pleasant and there was something comforting in knowing Ocelot had done something so human and normal as cook for himself in the past.  
_Mmn.  
_ "Mmn? Is that it?"  
_You need to work on your presentation.  
_ "I need to work on everything," she sighed as some bean sprouts bounced to freedom.  
  
\---  
  
_So, what was it you wanted to show me?_  
Sunny glanced over her shoulder through the doorway at her uncle in the front room.  
_He can't hear me right now, if that's what you're worried about?  
_ "...After you... Died... Some of your belongings were recovered from one of Big Mama's hideouts."  
_Oh really? I'm surprised she kept them.  
_ "Well she did, they were passed on to Snake after the investigation, but he never made his mind up what to do with them, there's not much there though. Hal doesn't like to think about it too much, so they've just ended up upstairs. Some of yours, some of Big Mama's, it's just a small case: a few photos, a wallet with a receipt in it and nothing else—"  
_That's mine._  
"A bullet on a chain?" she raised her eyebrows at him and he stared resolutely past her head.  
_Not a clue about that._  
"Really?"  
_Yep._  
"But there's a smaller box, it's heavy and locked. We were surprised it was never broken open, but maybe they just did an x-ray and that was good enough, or maybe it was missed." She shrugged. "It's a dark red wood?"  
_I_ _—_ _one of the corners is chipped off?  
_ "Yes, that's the one."  
_That's still around huh? Nearly as old as I am. Not the contents though.  
_ "Guns right?"  
_Yes, should be two.  
_ "A set?"  
_No. One was from John, the other—  
_ "What?"  
He shook his head.  
"So... Yeah, we managed to keep those if you'd like to see?"  
  
Sunny shoved the cardboard boxes, packed full of belongings neither she or Hal could bring themselves to get rid off, out of the way and dragged the old leather bound suitcase out from under the bed. She dropped to the floor next to it. There wasn't much in it. Sunny put aside a pair of old dust-scratched googles, Ocelot couldn't remember if they'd belonged to him or Eva and he'd just stolen them, she picked up the photos, they were in an envelope.  
  
"I like these two," Sunny pulled them out from the small pile. One was of Eva leaning up against her bike checking a map, the sun was low and her shadow stretched out behind her like spilt ink, her hair caught in a frozen ripple around her face, which was drawn into a scowl of concentration.  
"She was beautiful."  
_Yes. She was. Huh, I don't remember her taking that one._ He sounded embarrassed. _  
_ Sunny smiled at the second picture, in it Ocelot was battling with the breeze to tie back his hair, which was no where as long as Sunny was used to seeing it but still long enough to get into his eyes in the brisk weather. She could barely make out that he had a moustache. Despite losing his battle he was smiling out at the horizon and knowing him as well as she did now, Sunny could see the relaxation in his stance.  
"You look happy," she whispered.  
_Those were good days._ He agreed. _It was easy for us to get away and just be ourselves for a while. Didn't last, but then, what does?  
  
_ She nodded sadly and shuffled through the other photos. These ones were older, a small scattering of soldiers standing against a half built base, Ocelot and a blond man she didn't know standing at the front. The group got larger photo by photo, as the did the base, the ranks of uniforms and white lab coats and overalls filled up the catwalks and lined up on stairs. Someone, not Big Boss but very similar to him—Venom, Sunny could guess—had joined the photo standing between Ocelot and the other man, at Ocelot's side there was a woman who stood out from the rest. She was first dressed in what looked like little more than her under clothes, then later in dark shorts and sleeveless top that exposed her stomach. A large wolfish dog sat proudly by Ocelot and Venom's feet. Ocelot and Venom were smiling, the other man was not, the woman seemed unsure and even in this group photo kept a tight grip on her large rifle.  
  
Sunny went to put the pile down but felt pressure on her hand stopping her.  
_Wait.  
_ "Sorry."  
She blinked, looking politely at the photo until Ocelot had seen enough and let her go.  
_Thank you.  
_ She put the photos carefully back in their envelope before hauling up the wooden case.  
"So ah, code?" she gestured at the four digit lock.  
_1986.  
  
_ The lock clicked satisfyingly as it popped open and Sunny placed it on top of the envelope containing the photos and opened the box. Two guns sat comfortably surrounded by black foam, it wasn't the original lining of the case, Sunny could see that, but it had been installed professionally. One of the guns was a Colt revolver, it had a grip of wood matching the box and gleamed darkly, she reckognised it as being the gun she normally saw at Ocelot’s hip. It was strikingly solid and real now. She suspected it was what the box had originally contained, possibly with a cleaning kit, now long gone. The other gun, a Makarov, had a grip of white bone that was covered in beautiful intricate carvings. Despite their age and how long they'd been left sitting in their box, their owner's previous care had left them in good condition.  
_May I...?_ He asked quietly, and she nodded.  
"Of course, they're yours."  
  
Despite her reassurances to Hal that it didn't disturb her, Sunny still didn't think she'd ever get used to handing control of her hands over to him, or to the cool weight of the firearms when he picked them up. He picked up the revolver and cradled it in his hands like a delicate antique. Sunny felt the corners of her mouth turn up lopsidedly in Ocelot's smile before he span the cylinder, it still ran smoothly. He turned the gun around and engraved carefully and cleanly in the barrel of the gun was "I Owed You One, 'Vic' Boss."  
"I gave him my gun in '64, more than ten years later he gave me this before I left for Russia again," the worlds sounded strange in her voice but he continued. "I think he felt guilty that he'd lost mine."  
"Vic?" she interrupted.  
"Heh. Yeah, the FSLN gave him that one, never quite understood how it came about, 'Big Boss' became 'Vic Boss' somewhere along the line. He liked it, but I'd always known him as 'John'." Ocelot hesitated. "Maybe that was wrong of me, to keep calling him that." He sighed. "I don't know."  
  
"What about the other one?" Sunny asked. Her eyes lifted slowly from the dark gun in her hands to the pale one in the case, on the butt of the gun, patiently if slightly untidily scratched into the bone was: "THANKS FOR LISTENING".  
For a long time Ocelot didn't answer, he just stared at it and Sunny was surprised to feel her chest tighten up, then he blinked and put the gift from 'Vic' Boss back into the case.  
"Someone I fought with in the 80s," he mumbled. "That's all."  
"Really?"  
  
"Sunny." Hal stepped into the room and she turned to look at him frowning. Hal hesitated, "Ocelot?"  
The figure of his adopted niece stood up and smiled. "Sorry Doctor, I needed to borrow her hands."  
Her features relaxed, eyes widening again to their normal size. "It's me."  
Hal quickly stepped over to her and hugged her. "Please don't do that."  
"I-It's okay, I told you!"  
"But—"  
"Besides, these are his." She wriggled away to gesture at the firearms.  
"We had those?"  
"Yes," she grinned. "You were the one who guessed this had guns in it remember?"  
"No. Huh."  
"They were never taken away with Snake's, so I thought I should tell Ocelot about them. I only just remembered we had them myself."  
"Was that a good idea?"  
_What do you think I'm going to do with them, Doctor?  
_ Hal flinched and made a non-committal noise.  
_Or maybe you're worried I'll force Sunny to use them?  
_ Sunny sighed, "He's winding you up, Uncle Hal. Just ignore him."  
_Spoil sport.  
  
_ \---  
  
_Sunny?  
_ "Hmn?"  
_That's not how you spell Groznyj Grad…  
_ "Poot."  
_...Poot?  
_ "Shut up."  
_Heheh. Hey, would you do me a favour?  
_  
Hal jumped and fumbled his book when he heard Sunny shout "You're kidding me!?" and stared in shock up at the ceiling.  
  
"No."  
_B—  
_ "No. You've got something loose in your head somewhere if you think I'm," her voice dropped to a conspiratorial hiss. "Sneaking one of those guns in to you."  
_It's not for me._ He slumped against the edge of her desk, crossing his arms and looking very close to pouting.  
"I don't care who it's for," she turned her back on him. "I'm the one who's going to get crucified if anyone finds out."  
Ocelot sighed dramatically and looked down at Sunny, her sceptical glare remained resolute and he begrudgingly gave up. _Fine. You're right.  
_ "Why do you want them anyway?"  
_Just in case.  
_ "In case of what? That your own guns and cannon stop working?"  
_In case you need it, after what happened I don't want you unarmed, not with Bennett around.  
_ She leant back in her chair and smiled up at him, "That's sweet, and it’s not at all because you want your guns back right?"  
_Of course_ _not_ _!_ He blustered. _Your well being comes first.  
_ "Uh-huh. Well you're forgetting something: neither Hal or I can buy ammunition remember?"  
_Oh yeah…  
_ "They're safe here."  
He nodded once but still looked resentful.  
"Hey?" He raised his eyes to meet hers. "At least you have them."  
_At least they're not needed right now. But I hope you're prepared for what might be heading our way?  
  
_ She knotted her hands under her chin. "Mr Lewis is up to something with that data they copied off you, hopefully he's just trying to see if there's a weak spot there he can use against you. Bennett isn't going to do anything around here, but he might become a problem down the line. Hal is... Playing nice for the most part, and so are you. Ocelot I don't know what to do."  
_If it was just me, or just the two of us, I'd say we leave._ He pushed off the desk and she felt him squeeze her shoulder. _But I know you won't leave him if he's at risk here, so I won't ask.  
_ "Then you think he's at risk."  
_He's involved with us, that means he could be, I'm still concerned that you and he are being watched. But Sunny, if we need to make a quick get away…  
_ "I'll leave it to you... But if we can keep my Uncle with us—"  
_I'll do my best to keep him in the equation.  
_ "Maybe we should have just stayed with Otselotovaya Khvatka, fixed you there, avoided all of this. What's it brought us?"  
_I agree, I made a mistake sending you back. I completely misunderstood Ingwe's intentions. I thought sending you back would keep you away from her, and stop a search for you discovering us, but after I came and tracked you down the first time, Ingwe must have known I'd head straight for you if I thought you were under threat._ His shoulders sagged. _I've left Snake alone, but if I hadn't then Liquid might have taken control of my body, he'd try to kill his father if he could.  
  
_ Sunny grimaced, "Well they've not tried to hurt us here, not yet anyway, and coming here might have saved you. Maybe it wasn't the best choice, but I think it worked out."  
He nodded thoughtfully. _Besides, I still have a proposition to put to BBR. I need to secure Big Boss' future._ He felt her reaction and chuckled. _Sorry my dear, but I must finish what I started.  
_ "You're not sorry in the slightest."  
_No._  
"Confident?"  
_No._ She chuckled at his guilty grimace. _Even if everyone is on our side he's still the size of a submarine—  
_ "A bit smaller actually." He scowled at her. "Sorry. Continue?"  
_And it's going to be hard to move him any great distance in his state.  
_ "Ingwe is repairing him."  
_If she really is? And she does it well enough. I'm worried she might want him in a dependant state.  
_ "Good point. And... You know... If he wants to leave them of course."  
_Of course.  
  
_ Sunny rocked back in her chair.  
"So, while we're on the topic of Big Boss. That man in the photos, was that Venom Snake?"  
_Yes.  
_ "He was a close match for the 'real thing'. Was it weird working with him?"  
_Ah plastic surgery actually. We had good doctors. And yes, a little bit, it was better when things started evening out and he was less a copy and more a blending of himself and Snake. I liked Venom well enough as a man in his own right. Mostly anyway._ He shrugged. _And we kept some things from him, for the sake of simplicity.  
_ "Like what?"  
_Things that didn't impact the mission._ Ocelot said shortly.  
"Like...?"  
_Sunny.  
_ "What?"  
_Well._ He looked embarrassed. _Things that effected... Specific individuals.  
_ She frowned, "I'm not following you." She was surprised to see that even his projection was turning red around the ears.  
_Oh come on, back then, John and I... I didn't want Venom getting the wrong idea. He didn't have to know about any of that.  
_ "Wait. Wait!" Sunny sat up quickly. "I'm sorry, I figured it had always been well um... Rather one sided between you two? Was it not?"  
_Not... Always, no._ He coughed and turned his head away.  
"Sorry is this not something you want to talk about?"  
He turned slightly to glance at her, smiling bashfully.  
She grinned. "That's... really sweet, Ocelot, be careful you’re going to damage your reputation."  
_This is why I don't talk about it._ He mumbled.  
"Okay okay, I'll change the subject." She leant back again, head still ringing as she tried to catch up with the complexity of Ocelot's relationship to Big Boss.  
  
"Okay so, who was the other man with you in those photos? The one with the crutch?"  
_Kazuhira Miller.  
_ "Solid Snake's teacher? He seemed... Um…"  
_Yes. And yes.  
_ "And the woman?" Ocelot's face fell, and instantly Sunny regretted asking. "I'm sorry—"  
_No, it's okay. It's just, there weren't many people around who knew her and wanted to remember her, I don't often get to bring back those memories so they're..._ He sighed and looked down at his hands. _Her name... We called her 'Quiet'. We were, entirely unprofessional. She was my best friend, other than D.D., my dog, back on the base. She was... Also my prisoner.  
_ "Wow. Okay... This is another complex one isn't it?"  
_Yes._ He nodded. _She left us eventually. Walked out into the desert one day and never came back. The official story was that she would die out there but I never believed that.  
_ Sunny drew her knees up and hugged them. "Why?"  
_She was supposed to be carrying a kind of weaponized parasite, she left to protect us from it, when the parasite was activated it would move to the lungs, where it would reproduce. It had been selected to specifically target the lung tissue to eat, as it would then cause the host to cough and spread the eggs and larvae to others in the vicinity and so on... It was triggered in her. So she left.  
_ "There was no cure?"  
_There was. I took it, all of us did. But we couldn't give it to her, these parasites had previously held a symbiotic relationship with humans, a different strain of them, modified for entirely different reasons, were keeping her alive.  
_ "There was no way to cure one without killing the other?"  
He shook his head.  
"But you don't believe it killed her anyway?"  
_No. I don't believe it did, I don't believe she was ever a threat to us either, for the same reason.  
_ "What's that?"  
He stared vacantly into the distance before slowly replying: _Quiet had no lungs.  
  
_ Sunny stared blankly at him.  
_She wa_ _s b_ _adly injured. Her lungs were burnt and it was the other stain of the parasite that was allowing her to breathe. There was more to it than that but you get the idea. But if she had no lungs, I don't see how the weaponized parasite could have ever survived.  
_ "Did you never see her again?"  
_No... Well. Not knowingly. No.  
_ "Shame, after all these years, I mean it's probably too late to find her now."  
_I knew a man, who'd undergone the same treatment as her. He was nearly 200 years old back in the 80s. If Quiet survived, she could still be out there.  
_ "You never tried to find her?"  
_I did, once or twice, but as I got older, did more things I regretted. I stopped wanting to see her, stopped wanting her to see me might be closer to the truth. She'd been my friend even after everything I did to her, even though I'd been in charge of her interrogations for the most part, because of things she_ _could see_ _in me. I adored her, she was an incredible woman and warrior. I hated the idea of her seeing what I'd become. Just the interrogator, another jaded old man with a gun._  
"You could be more than that, for her, and the person you were then." He looked up at her mournfully. "I really think you could."


	52. The Resurrectionist

“ _Unbeing dead isn't being alive._ ”

\--

E.E. Cummings

  


The darkly armoured machines towered in the shadows of the garage roof, pieced together from the pieces shipped in by lorry. Their forelimbs were folded like giant wings at their backs and broad golden visors covered the front of their heads that glinted in the lamp light. They glistened with a newness that appealed to Mr Lewis, who was smiling up at them. The disengaged Octocamo took on a glossy greenish black with a faint golden mesh visible under the top coat, and their joints were sealed in composite, the view from their cockpits was wide and high. They looked professional. Purposeful. These were real Metal Gear, the finished product.  
  
Mr Lewis' enjoyment of the mechanical beasts was tainted by the source of the data that had been so key in completing their construction. At the thought of the Wildcat prototype's contribution he scowled and strode down the line of new Metal Gear to the one at the end. Large wheeled braces were attached to its folded up legs, unlike its siblings this one had been towed into the garage, and its head was still crowned in a gantry; bejewelled with computers and equipment. A scattering of technicians in white coats were gathered around the equipment, talking among themselves. They saw him approach and froze for a second, looking down at him before quickly turning back to their work. They'd all been hesitant to partake in this work but the majority of them had families to support, and no one had been willing to argue too strongly, a job was a job.  
  
"So," one of the younger guys leant in towards his companion, an older man who'd worked for the company since the base had been opened here. "What's with the boss anyway?"  
"What do you mean?" He mumbled, eyes on the handheld screen in his grasp.  
"Everyone takes it for granted he hates Ocelot, but why? I mean, I get why now what with running off and taking the piss but wasn't it like that right from the start?"  
The older man stared at him then grunted. "Oh yeah, guess you wouldn't know."  
"What?"  
"Well all the old boys know about it, 'cos it was big talk for a while when he first came here, before he got this job. He had to take a lot of time off cos his brother was seriously disabled and his mother couldn't cope."  
"So...?"  
"Eh, it was ah, SOP syndrome. You know the side effect from that nanomachine control shit that was popular for a while about a decade back. Anyway his brother eventually died, followed by his mother, suspicious circumstances. He took a couple of weeks off then came back and threw himself into the job, but he was always angry, you mention anything that could be connected to SOP and he'd shut you down."  
"So what's this got to do with Ocelot?"  
"Liquid Ocelot started SOP remember? Sure it's not supposed to be the same person, but I don't think Mr Lewis gives a shit." His voice dropped. "Besides. This Ocelot might not have done it, but it's the same guy who was able to have done it, see?"  
The younger man glanced down at his boss on the floor of the hangar far below.  
"I mean, I guess I get it, yeah."  
"He's not the only one around here though, lot of people lost loved ones to that bastard."  
"You?"  
He grunted. "Look, I'm not saying he should be shut down or killed or whatever, as far as I'm concerned you don't judge someone for a crime they might potentially commit, it was a different guy who did it. But I get where he's coming from."  
"Not heard anyone talk like this before."  
"Yeah, cos he's got half the ground crew brown nosing and do you want to get on his bad side? None of us know what he's planning."  
The younger guy smirked, "I bet Sunny does."  
"Yeah well, I don't want to know about those two, something weird going on there if you ask me."  
  
Mr Lewis plucked dust off his suit jacket in silent criticism as Bennett came skulking up behind him reeking of tobacco—even more so than usual.  
"Good morning, Mr Lewis." Bennett muttered. "They're all here then?"  
"Every last one, haha." He looked over his shoulder at the blue eyes narrowed to pinpricks in the deep shadow beyond the partly opened doors. The battered grey Wildcat had been watching him since he'd come in, its unreadable face twisted into a permanent sneer that made Mr Lewis' blood boil, while its whiskers rippled and coiled like conceited snakes. He knew, he thought, that creature knows what he's done and thinks he's just going to get away with it all. Well you're not untouchable, I've seen what makes you squirm like the vermin you are.  
  
The two men retreated through the side door to avoid walking past the sinister machine.  
"Is it nearly ready then?"  
"Soon, very soon, haha, may very well be up on its feet just after lunch. We can but hope. The demonstration is tomorrow and we can't go ahead without our, ha, rising star."  
"And the old man?"  
"The bigger they are..." he growled. "It's been hard keeping him quiet while this is done, he wants some kind of meeting, but I—" Bennett fumbled with his cigarette tin, Mr Lewis' narrow eyes locked onto his shaking hands. "You seem nervous."  
"Not at all sir. I know you have your contingencies." He stuck an unlit cigarette in his mouth and dragged his teeth over the end of the comforting little tube. "But if you don't mind I don't think I'll be near the display area when the others show up."  
"Oh?"  
"I'm just saying, after what happened, I wouldn't want to be near by when you go after that guy."  
Mr Lewis waved a long narrow hand dismissively. "Your loss."  
  
Back in the garage the technicians kept nervously glancing up at the older Wildcat watching them suspiciously, they weren't entirely sure what their boss was instructing them to do, most of the information had been disguised under new names, but they could guess. Despite their compliance they couldn't help but wonder what was in for them if Mr Lewis had misjudged the readiness of the new Wildcat model.  
  
\---  
  
The doors were opened to allow the gantries to be rolled out before lunch. Between them being opened and the gantries being pushed over, Ocelot got to his feet with a mechanical sigh and stalked out into the open air. Heading for the signal approaching him around the side of the building. Hal jumped when he turned the corner and found Ocelot waiting for him. The plastic lid on his paper cup didn't hold in all his coffee and he cried out when he was scolded, holding out his burnt hand and dripping cup awkwardly so the breeze would cool it. It was taken from him by a careful manipulator arm and he muttered a thank you and shook his hand off before blowing on it to cool it.  
_You came here to see the new models?_  
"Yeah, you were looking at them too?"  
_Don't have much choice on that one, Doc. I live here.  
_ "Is Sunny out yet?"  
_No. Where is she anyway, she just ran past me this morning, late?  
_ Hal half smiled at the AI's slight whine, never one to appreciate being left out.  
"Refresher training, up in the VR bays."  
_Nonsense, she could just come train with me.  
_ "There are specific tasks and marking schemes. I think they're trying to catch her out, if she's slipped up in her training then they can withhold her permissions to work with you until she's back on track." He reached out, hand still feeling hot and looking red. The arm swung down smoothly and handed him the cup.  
_It's not working?  
_ "Na, she was worried but she's not forgotten anything."  
_I'm surprised they haven't found some way to test me yet.  
_ "Maybe they don't think you're important enough." Hal taunted as he headed for the pedestrian door set into the larger ones to avoid getting in the way of the ground crew.  
_There's gratitude for you.  
  
_ Hal shivered under the unseeing gaze of the new production line Wildcats. After REX's true use had been revealed to him he'd never gotten over the chill the war machines inflicted on him, and yet…  
He sipped his coffee, trying not to burn his tongue, they were still magnificent, and there was nothing that could compete with the torpedoing form of a RAY cutting through the water. It was then he saw the last of the equipment being taken away and the carrier braces attached to the final Wildcat. Hal approached the technicians cleaning up for their lunch.  
"What's going on? Problems already?" He smiled at the supervisor but his smile drained when he saw the man's expression. "Something wrong?"  
The other man gave him a long look then turned back to his tool kit. "Couldn't get it walking when they went to leave, so they left it to us to fix, nothing major."  
"Oh? Huh." Hal stared up at the suddenly suspect Wildcat, wondering if he should have his own team look at it. He asked, nonchalantly, if they wanted a second opinion.  
"I don't think Mr Lewis would like that." The supervisor closed the kit with a double snap of its catches and dragging it after him took his leave for lunch, a younger man gave him an odd accusing look then left in the supervisor's wake.  
  
Hal was unsettled by their attitude and the level of equipment that was being removed from the Wildcat had been advanced for what sounded like had been a simple problem.  
"Why would the boss have a problem if we spent some time on you?" He asked the blank face, seeing blue light shine off the golden visor he turned to see the old Wildcat standing in the doorway, silvery and scarred in the sunlight.  
_They're up to something, Doctor.  
_ "Any idea what?"  
_Some kind of installation, been at it since they came in. Over 24 hours of solid work just there.  
_ "For a walking issue?"  
Ocelot's lamps flashed. _Doctor, that machine could not have walked in here, but not because of some minor connectivity issue.  
_ "Oh? You know what's up?"  
_The others are dull witted, no, more like children, inexperienced._ He turned with a sweep of his tail. _But they were awake when they were brought in here, not like that one. That one was empty,_ _mindless._ _  
_ Hal blinked in confusion at the retreating Metal Gear then spared the immobile machine behind him a final look before hurrying back into the sunshine, telling himself that unable to move under its own power, the final Wildcat just hadn't been online and Ocelot's sensors had been confused by it, and there was nothing suspect about that in the slightest. Mindless though… He swallowed nervously.  
  
\---  
  
The armoured gates clanged as they fell into place and the Wildcat loped out onto the disused airstrip. It looked around once, then shot off at a gallop. Sunny grinned at the rpm counter rising as the Wildcat picked up speed and did a loop of the whole field before interrupting its own flow and with a snarl leapt to a standstill. Scaring witless the passengers of a truck, shaking and bouncing its way to the storage buildings, when his claws crashed down either side of their vehicle and added new cracks to the concrete slabs.  
  
Sunny pushed her ruffled hair back into place as the truck rumbled away from them. "That was mean."  
_So that's why you're smiling?  
_ "I'm not smiling."  
He shook out his shoulders. _It's about time you came to see me, I was getting bored.  
_ "I could tell. Are you finished sprinting around? I'm not here so we can toy with people, we're supposed to be training."  
Ocelot growled. _Sure, you mess up and I have to put in the hard work. Why don't you take the old training REX out and leave me be?  
_ "I thought you were bored?"  
_I am, the courses aren't going to help with that.  
_ "Ocelot when was the last time you were actually made to really work out?"  
_Well it's not like my health suffers._ He snorted. _Besides I ran all the way back here from Nicaragua! I think…  
_ "No, your health doesn't suffer." She felt him give in as she took over the controls. "But your ability to judge obstacles does and I'm not having you make a fool of yourself by tripping up again."  
_That was ages ago!_ But he stopped dragging his feet.  
  
_Your uncle talk to you about the new Wildcats?_  
"No? Not had a chance to see them yet either. What are they like?"  
_Fairly impressive._ He muttered. _Mr Lewis is planning something, he's had the technicians at one of them ever since it came in. They're claiming its an error with the locomotion programming, some kind of connectivity problem.  
_ "You don't believe them?"  
Ocelot stopped moving at the edge of the obstacle course designed to put a pilot in the middle of a cluttered and dangerous environment for a walking tank.   
_No._ He said shortly. _He thinks I'm stupid.  
_ "I'm not sur—"  
_I might not know how all those machines work, but I'm not a fool and I'm not that forgetful, I know I've seen those machines they were using on it before, and recently. They were around me when you were working on clearing out my AI of... certain unwanted guests.  
_ Sunny frowned. "I don't get it, why would they pretend not to be working on the AI? It's just a synthetic." She'd not seen Ocelot manifest by her shoulder, but when he moved she jumped and looked up at him. His tired eyes darted from her to his arm, his sleeve was bloody and empty. Sunny recoiled.  
  
"They wouldn't…"  
_You sound sure.  
_ "I am, Mr Lewis doesn't like you, but he's not going to... The files..." She trailed off.  
_They weren't destroyed, were they?_ Ocelot raised his eyebrows and her and she slowly shook her head. _He sees you, and me obeying you, to him there is no difference between choice and force, he thinks he can control it.  
_ "You don't believe he can?"  
_He is not like you. He is weak._ Ocelot sneered. _He wouldn't stand a chance against a will like that._ _You could force me to obey, we both know that._ The Wildcat swung around, Sunny found herself looking back at the base. _He probably thinks he can pilot it himself, that with an MB-AI, the AI will do all the work.  
_ "That's not how it works!"  
_Of course not. You and I work together, you are a good pilot, if you weren't I'd have forced you out long ago and found someone else._ Sunny nodded, she had no doubts this was true, she and Ocelot had a good relationship as partners, they made this work. _Mr Lewis sees himself as a master, to a man who seeks to be his own master. My girl, hope that that dissonance is their weakness, because I'm not sure the band is playing our tune.  
  
_ \---  
  
"Steady now, keep back. Hey get that out of the way!" There was a rush around the parameter of the King Ray, a quick bustle of activity to clear the immediate area. Even the immense hangar doors had been opened out of the way for the exercise, in case the balance wasn't perfect and the King Ray crashed through them. Ingwe was stood on the catwalk running parallel to the top of the door frame, knuckles tight and bony in a death grip on the railings as she looked fixedly down at her patient. West and Holder were off to the side, far out of the way. Finally the last scaffolds were taken away and the gathered mechanics held their unified breath. The King Ray's bulky hind limbs shivered for a moment, then held its weight and it was standing free. The circuit breakers were pushed in and the stops removed, the King Ray was finally free to sink down onto its small supporting front legs. The impact with the ground made everyone cough up their held breaths. The Arsenal Gear sunk down until its deep chest almost brushed the ground, then it started to lift itself back up again under its own power. Ingwe crowed in delight, the King Ray was standing again.  
  
Snake felt shaky as he straightened his forelimbs and started to get used to the new perspective he viewed the world from. Shocked by the readings from his joints he gingerly shifted his weight back onto his legs and was finally able to unlock his shoulders and elbows and take a cautious step forwards. Ingwe leant over further to watch him, he raised his monstrous head and she found herself looking down into the open maw full of recently cleaned and sharpened metal tearing teeth. Her vision starting to tunnel, Ingwe pushed back from the railings to ground herself. Below her the King Ray ponderously flexed each of its repaired joints in turn and took another step towards the outdoors. Its size made the careful first steps look deceptively slow, only those closest could feel the disturbed air as the large mass moved by.  
  
Ingwe shook herself, pushing back her elation that Big Boss was active and up on his feet, and soon about to make a fine figurehead for her soldiers to follow, and went back to the edge of the catwalk.  
"Big Boss!"  
The war machine shifted backwards and again raised its head, this time looking directly at her.  
"Before I leave you to the crew, I have some more news for you!"  
"News?" His voice rumbled through the hangar.  
"The Wildcat is no longer unique, the first batch of production line Wildcat models have been delivered, only a handful of course." She kept her face impassive. "There will be a demonstration in a few days to display the new models' capabilities, to bring in interested parties who want to lease them."  
"What does that have to do with us?"  
"My connections to BBR inform me that since the prototype has gotten such acclaim, it will be pitted against one of the new models, to demonstrate their superior abilities."  
"And?"  
"I'm afraid he might not be returning to us, the accountable manager of BBR has always been for shutting down the Wildcat, that is Ocelot. He can't really compete against the new model."  
The King Ray didn't move or answer for a moment, then in reply started to move forwards again. Ingwe sighed.  
  
Snake's mind reeled, but he knew he just had to trust in Ocelot. The old devil had a way of getting out of trouble, getting into trouble too, he had to admit. Without Ocelot's aid, would he be able to get out of here though? Ingwe's goals were not his own, he had not fought so long and hard to remain out from under another person's thumb only to end up under her command. Hoping he'd be allowed a moment to think he started to step out into the sun. His hope was dashed when overhead Ingwe signalled to the ground crew, and the crew at the remote consoles took action. The King Ray froze in mid stride and its lights dimmed and blinked out.  
  
\---  
  
After a few false starts and stumbles, the Wildcat was finally able to navigate the whole course without a single step out of place, weaving through the obstacles with feline grace. At least, the grace of a feline four stories tall and weighing more than few tons.  
"I told you, you needed work."  
_You were behind half of those knocks._ He returned, nudging an oversized bollard with his claw and making it wobble wildly back and forth on its rusty coils.  
"And what about the other half?"  
_The wind pushed me._ Sunny gave a short desultory laugh that made Ocelot chuckle. _Honestly._ He pushed. _It's windy out here!  
_ Sunny tapped the air sensor dials to catch his attention.  
_They're faulty.  
_ "You're the one claiming to know how windy it is."  
_I... damn it.  
  
_ He pulled a tight turn and quickly headed back through the course, high stepping neatly and precisely this time around, both of them quickly picking up on their path.  
_It's handy having the two of us looking for a route._ He purred, heading back towards the runway before Sunny could direct him back through the course for another run. _I still think running the same course over and over again until you have it memorised is a waste of time, but I'm starting to understand why people work together now.  
_ "Only just starting?" She tried to sound insulted.  
_Well it's taken a lot of work, but you're getting there.  
_ "Thanks."  
_You're welcome._  
  
Sunny was eyeing up the engine status screen as they approached the gates back into the base proper. Still in the green but marching towards amber, she suspected the Wildcat needed to be put in for a thorough engine clean sooner rather than later after their excursion south, a lot of debris must have been sucked into the intakes.  
"I think you're more soot than com—" the Wildcat stopped abruptly, jarring her in her seat. She looked up to see what had stopped him.  
  
Standing in the gateway, nearly a head taller than the grey Wildcat it was staring down, armour a deep oily green, almost black, was one of the production line models. Sunny felt her heart drop to her stomach and she wasn't sure if that was her leg shifting backwards or Ocelot backing up as her vision doubled for a second. The glossy new war machine took a stiff saurian step forwards, it was obviously still under complete pilot control, they both knew no MB-AI would move so mechanically. But that didn't stop them from curling closer in on themselves until Ocelot could feel her heart beat picking up and she felt the hard packed earth give way under his extending claws. They bristled, hydraulic pumps picking up as the black Wildcat took another step forwards, its smooth curving head—a continuous powerful beak, brilliant white and amber lamps set above the wide view cockpit, tinted to hide the pilot inside—kept pointing in their direction as they sidestepped to allow it space to pass.  
  
Inside their nanolink their conversation became almost instantaneous, no need to ask questions, they both knew immediately what the other was thinking, that neither knew who was behind that tinted wind shield, that the machine wasn't being controlled by an MB-AI, but that there was one there, below the surface, watching them from its hijacked body. Ocelot could feel it clear as day and unlike the wandering RAY out in no-man's-land, this sentience filled him with foreboding. They slipped past the new Metal Gear and they picked up their heels to head back to the garage. Sunny had no reservations in trusting in the old soldier's instincts to get out of the way of the glowering creature heading out to the training grounds.


	53. It's All in The Execution

" _Let it be known: I did not fall from grace._  
_I leapt,_  
_To freedom._ "

\--

Ansel Elkins, from “Autobiography of Eve”

 

Snake woke up from time to time, to find himself shackled with invisible restraints. Occasionally West, or Holder, was there, neither man answered his queries, because he couldn't speak. He was beyond caring enough to panic, and simply withdrew back into his own head, whatever happened happened and there didn't seem to be anything he could do about it. Sometimes Snake's mind drifted to Ocelot, gone, elsewhere, his attention divided. Snake wandered in virtual reality, cursing himself for the jealousy he had no right to feel. He'd had his chance, and he'd ruined it... Somehow... How? Leaf litter scuffed beneath his feet, and he stopped, lonely, alone. One day everything had seemed so perfect, the sharpness of fresh pain giving way to the controlled ache of mourning, Kaz... Had had to be pushed away... But he had plans, a future, and Ocelot... Yes. Snake closed his eyes. He'd had Ocelot.  
  
He knew he wasn't supposed to, just in case, but with nothing else for him to do but look to the past and wonder where everything had gone so wrong, he reached back and found one of his few sweet memories. He was plunged into the silvery moonlight, and looked up from his craggy hands, lined with veins and sharply accentuated tendons. The night he knew, had smelled of Balm of Heaven, and the fainter smell of the Stars of Bethlehem in the blue vase in Ocelot's hands, his memory banks held no record of smell, but he knew. He knew. The moonlight shone through the windows on the warm Greek night. Ocelot was just turning 40, his blond hair turned almost entirely grey. In sunlight the final golden strands that hung on could be seen, but in the moonlight his hair was silver, his eyes like shards of moonstone. In a white shirt, fingers brushing the white petals of his flowers, he looked out of place in John's world. A world of demons and hell fire.  
  
He reached out his hand and Ocelot turned at the movement, eyebrows twitching upwards.  
Please. The word died in his parched throat and Ocelot smiled, that smile had not seen half the horrors the eyes had, it was too lovely, younger by many years than the tired eyes. He put down the vase and padded across to the hospital bed, helping John take sips from the glass of water by his bed, never letting him gulp. The glass clicked down on the side table, Ocelot went to stand up from the edge of the bed. John's fingers, thin, strong as talons grabbed the loose material of his shirt, pulled him back. He'd sat, stared in confusion, unequipped but sympathetic and John had slept. His friend's fingers brushing damp hair from his forehead, brushing away the nightmares from his troubled brow.  
  
Snake shuddered and dragged himself back to the real world, it was early in the morning and the soft light of dawn gave him no comfort. Somewhere Ocelot was waking up to another's company, and what right did he have to be jealous? Ocelot had waited patiently for twenty years, never asking, just being there whenever he'd needed or wanted him, never asking for a thing. And had Snake turned his attention to him? Yes! Eventually. Only to push him away again. God. Snake spat to himself. You can appreciate it now? Good. If he leaves you now you deserve it, what did you ever do to keep him? What did you do to keep anyone...?  
He sighed to the empty morning.  
_Ocelot... I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way you deserved. I'm sorry for... I'm sorry if I ever made you believe otherwise. I'm sorry._  
And though he searched himself suspiciously, he found he meant it.  
  
"Big Boss?" He stirred himself and looked into the hangar, West waved nervously. "We'll be doing some work on your propulsion systems today, so you'll get to move around some!" Snake struggled to find some joy in this news, then withdrew to the peace of the VR forest.  
  
\---  
  
"Sunny! Sunny are you up?"  
She woke up to a knocking sound punctuating someone calling her name. Sunny rolled over and huddled up under the covers.  
"Go away Ocelot."  
_What did I do?_  
She sat up, confused.  
"Phone call!"  
"Oh, hang on Uncle Hal!"  
She heard him tell the person on the phone she'd be a moment as she put on her robe, still tying it as she opened the door and took the call.  
  
"Hello? Yes speaking." She sat down in her desk chair, half listening to the woman on the other end of the phone, mostly watching Ocelot manifest in a lounging position at the head of her bed, an equally incorporeal cup of coffee in his hands, just to distract her.  
"Are you sure?" Sunny suddenly jumped back into the present and frowned at the information she'd just been given, Ocelot raised his eyebrows curiously and waited until she'd thanked the woman and hung up.  
_Well?_  
"I... I'm not supposed to come in today."  
_Whatever for? Your suspension was ended wasn't it?_  
"Yeah, but apparently I can stay at home today. They want the place clear for the display this afternoon."  
_Oh yes, the new Metal Gear, I'm sure that will be just wonderful._ He added dryly. __  
"I was hoping to get a chance to see what they could do too, it... It'd probably be useful to us later."  
He flickered and appeared sharply in front of her, momentarily looking annoyed when she didn't jump in surprise but masking it with a sip of his drink. _I'm sure I'll get a good look anyway._  
"True, you can tell me what's going on later, and I can go back to bed!" She stood up through him and crawled back under the covers, robe and all, and peeked at Ocelot over the top of the duvet. "Behave at work today!"  
_I always behave!_  
  
\---  
  
Sunny woke up some time later feeling groggy and fuzzy headed, the house was quiet, her head was quiet. With a sigh of relief she shuffled off to wash and get dressed. Not having anyone growling in her ear that she was taking too long, or using too much shampoo or too little conditioner while she was showering should have been relaxing, but a nagging feeling started to creep over her as she dried off and, still wrapped in a towel, proceeded downstairs to make a cup of coffee. Staring at the boiling water bubbling away in the sight she tried to push it from her mind. It was a nice day. Hal was at work, and Ocelot was probably just leaving her alone and hadn't realised she'd woken up yet. She should be enjoying the peace. Yet she reached out anyway, searching for him. He was there, at least the connection was, but there was no response.  
"He went into standby." She told herself, leaving her drink on the table to cool while she went upstairs to dress. "He's okay on his own and he'll be back to annoy you soon enough." She was still dragging her head through the neck of her shirt as she headed back downstairs, but paused in the doorway to the spare room. Hal had pushed the trunk farther under the bed and against the corner of the room to try to get it out of sight. It was ineffectual. She dragged it out, getting dust down the front of her black top and sat back on her naked heels to rummage through it. It all seemed incredibly familiar now, stories and second hand emotions bubbled up from her memory as she filtered through it all. Eventually she found what she was looking for and remembering the code, the lock clicked open.  
  
"Thank you for listening..." she muttered, running the back of her nail over the series of scratches. It seemed a strange thing to give to Ocelot, or any interrogator. Or maybe that was the point, maybe whomever had given this to Ocelot had a dry sense of humour. She bounced it lightly in her hand and appreciated the tug of her muscles as they took the weight. There was a part of her that had always been nervous of firearms, the dim memory of Snake's injuries still lingering in the back of her mind. On the other hand... She raised the gun and pretended to fire towards the wall, she didn't pull the trigger. Sunny had always admired the confidence her uncle had had with firearms, she remembered him training daily with them, always professional, never careless. She held her arm up until it started to shake. Letting it drop to her lap she smiled wryly at how Ocelot would have teased her if he'd been watching. The silence crowded in closer until the sound of the neighbour's door slamming shut made her jump around, fingers tightening on the Makarov until her knuckles turned as white as the bone grip.  
  
Dust settled, through the wall there was the sound of the neighbour running up the stairs. Sunny took a deep breath and forced herself to relax. It was a moment before she realised how tight a grip she had on the gun and tried to loosen her fingers.  
"Got to get a hold of myself," she sighed. "Ocelot can't have my back all the time." Sitting back cross-legged she closed her eyes and focused on the weight on her lap, cold through her jeans and distracting from the world. Her heart rate was just starting to settle back to normal when a voice cracked through her head. Eyes snapping open she instantly tensed back up again, feeling the hairs on her arms and the back of her neck stand on end. It had been rushed and breathy but it had been her name.  
"Something's wrong."  
  
She was half way down to the road and stomping her heels into the back of her shoes when she realised the gun was still clutched in a death grip in her hand. Not wanting to turn back now she quickly shoved it into her waist band and under her shirt, hoping it would go unnoticed until she was sure Ocelot was fine and she could get it back home. Blinkered and single minded she took to the streets, running for the base. Coffee left forgotten behind her. By the time she got to the road through the large gates her sock-less feet were agony in her shoes, her hip was chaffing against the gun threatening to fall down inside her jeans and her breath was harsh and painful in her chest. Despite the pain she was in she went from a limping walk to a sprint again when the doorman tried to call out to her.  
  
Plunging into the half-darkness of the garage, Sunny had enough time to see her Wildcat wasn't there, and to register the hulking shape of the Jackal with its pilot close at hand. She shot Bennett an angry look to mask her sudden fear and turned to leave.  
"You'd be better off here!" He coughed out after her, but she ignored him and instead ran straight into the grasp of security.  
  
Security on the base was rarely tight, since it was mostly handled by GEKKO and Metal Gear, but there were people on site with the same job, usually skulking in the higher security sections of the base. But now two of the men in white shirts were standing over her, one with an iron grip on her shoulder. Inwardly she panicked, thinking someone had spotted the gun, particularly when the dormant GEKKO accompanying them surged to its feet with a moo.  
"Come on," one said. "We were told you'd probably show up, so come on."  
"W-what?"  
"Mr Lewis said you'd probably want to see this."  
Sunny's blood ran cold. "Where's the Wildcat?"  
"Exactly where it's supposed to be." The taller of the two sneered and Sunny glanced at the other, he was frowning and seemed uncomfortable about something.  
She turned to see Bennett walking up behind her, rolling a cigarette back and forth across his palm.  
"What's g-going on?" she demanded but he just shook his head.  
"A bad fucking idea," he growled and walked past her.  
She looked up at the GEKKO hovering over them. "You don't need that, I'll come quietly."  
  
\---  
  
Sunny didn't resist as she was lead to the repurposed ATC tower via the connecting bridge. This place had seemed oddly familiar to her since the day Ocelot had woken up, she couldn't place it and put it down to some stray memory of Ocelot's, something she'd seen and half forgotten that had been rattling around in his head. Normally she ignored it, but today with the bridge busy with people in business suits, all of them with their attention directed out of the large old single glazing windows, a sense of foreboding settled on her shoulders. Sunny shook her head, trying to dislodge the sense of something important being forgotten and followed their gaze out onto the airstrip.  
  
The oily new Wildcat was stood at an angle to the bridge, it was practically striking a pose. Head lifted high and arrogantly, chest pushed out. It gleamed darkly in the sun. An imposing, sleek and well honed figure, all elegant lines and proportions, a creature of precision engineering and selection.  
  
Security sat her down in a separate room in the tower proper and left. She didn't need to check to know they were waiting outside the door so she turned her attention to the windows. Like the bridge the tower was overlooking the airstrip and the dark green Wildcat waiting for its opportunity to shine. What Sunny hadn't seen through the gathering of people, here to watch the demonstration, was the older silvery Metal Gear. Her Wildcat was stood stiffly with its forelimbs folded back, something she hadn't seen it do for quite some time, there was no flexibility to its stance and not even its manipulator arms were extended. If there had been any other prototype on the base she'd have thought it was someone other than Ocelot, or no one at all.  
  
"Ocelot? Can you hear me?" There was no answer, she could still feel him there. Only a few hundred meters away now, the connection couldn't be much stronger, and yet it seemed only one way. She slammed her palms against the fixed windows, hoping to catch his attention, but the old Wildcat didn't move at all. A distant voice over the PA system reminded the attending corporate bodies that they were needed to scrutinise the new machine, and a moment later the dark green Wildcat took a smooth stride forwards and bellowed loud enough to make the windows rattle, Sunny winced at the discomfort and could hear a rise in the conversation outside, someone commented that they felt ill even at this range—a compliment to the sonic cannon at low power, this was the highest setting it would be allowed to use around the town, but Sunny knew that even the prototype had the potential to rupture eardrums at close range.  
  
At first it seemed the silver Wildcat wouldn't respond to the challenge, then it took a couple of stiff mechanical steps and roared back, just a standard bellow, not even comparing the two cannons. Sunny beat the glass again in frustration when she realised he wasn't even in control of his own chassis. As if the person controlling the Wildcat heard Sunny's anger the control was suddenly dropped. The Metal Gear shivered violently and looked around trying to figure out where it was. Then the other Wildcat charged.  
Sunny screamed.  
"Ocelot!!"  
  
Sunny's Wildcat braced itself, too late to move out of the way of the attack. There was a crunch as armour hit armour and the silver Wildcat was pushed backwards, scraping up the concrete. It snarled and flung its forearms back around and grappled the green-black Wildcat, pushing back hard. It sunk back on its hind legs and for a moment Sunny thought the smaller of the two would over power it quickly, then with a powerful twist the darker of the two sunk its jaws into its opponent's neck and threw itself backwards and upwards pulling the other Metal Gear with it. The older machine howled as it was flung upwards then slammed back into the concrete by the newer one. Sunny groaned, fully expecting it to finish off Ocelot right then, but instead it jumped backwards, tail thrashing and waiting for the silver Wildcat to get back to its feet.  
  
Ocelot dragged himself back up and flashed his teeth at the new model, swinging his cannon around to fire on his attacker. Instead of the recoil he was expecting the gun didn't respond, and with horror he realised his commands had been reset. Without Sunny he was limited to melee attacks alone. The failed attack left him open and the other Wildcat leapt for him, he reared up and lashed out catching the other's leg with his claws, but the green Wildcat dropped its own front limbs and caught itself on them. Its legs were still pushed back where the silver Wildcat's paw had dragged them, but they quickly reeled back in under its sleek body and it landed awkwardly but on all fours. Ocelot kicked back, pushing himself forwards to escape the other's savage buck, but its feet slammed into his side where his mid-section met his chest and he lost his balance. The new Wildcat rumbled and turned.  
  
Sunny snarled at its casual attitude, willing Ocelot to take advantage of it. The old Wildcat feigned still being unbalanced and once the dark green Metal Gear started to fold its arms back on the approach, it swung around and lunged. Ocelot felt the other Metal Gear's neck grind between his jaws, but then the smooth composites slipped through his limited grip, snagged on his long fangs then ripped free, leaving unimpressive scrapes in the armour.  
"Nonono..." Sunny groaned as the enemy Wildcat pushed in closer, forelimbs flinging back around and grappling her partner, its massive jaws clamped down on the barrel of the gun. Pushing down on the other's shoulders with its claws and pulling up with its jaws the green Wildcat tore at the cannon.  
  
Ocelot screamed, the sound rapidly twisting from an almost human sounding bellow into a roar, then moving out of the comfortable range of human hearing until Sunny’s vision blurred and she doubled over, hands over her ears. If there was any disruption from the passageway she didn’t stand a chance at hearing it. Then it cut off, reaching levels too powerful to use without pilot authentication, but it had done its job. While the other Wildcat’s pilot was stunned, Ocelot tried to shake his attacker off, claws snarling into its belly armour and digging in, but not enough to push its whole weight off of him. The cannon came loose with a crack as its rotating joints gave in and separated, huge ball bearings rattled off the side of the Wildcat as the casings cracked open on the way up. Sunny clamped her hands back over her ears at the semi-human shriek of rage and pain that accompanied this, not wanting to hear it.  
  
He howled as his body betrayed him, limited in the strength it could muster, but it was the final loosening of the cannon that allowed him to get free of the new Wildcat. He wrenched free and swung his claws around and backhanded his enemy, which reeled away with a hiss.  
  
Forgetting her guards, Sunny wrenched open the door and ran out. Both the guards were staring enraptured out the nearest window, but the taller of the two spotted her and grabbed for her. The shorter guy got in his way, and she darted out from under them, not sure if he'd done it intentionally or not, and sprinted towards the bridge.  
  
The men and women in suits and corporate casual—still looking concerned and dioriented at the sound the prototype had made on being damaged—stepped away in surprise at the young flushed woman shoving into their midst and fumbling with the old loose window catch.  
"This isn't f-fair!" She screamed at someone who tried to stop her and find out what was wrong. She pushed him off. "T-this is an exec-c-ution, y-you c-can't just s-stand here and w-watch this!"  
The window finally swung open but it opened vertically and the struts were broken. Sunny pushed it open as far as she could and leant out, desperately screaming Ocelot's name, surprised to find a taller person taking the window from her and letting her cling to the window frame to lean out further.  
  
Ocelot shrunk back from the dark Wildcat, which circled him confidently. Inside his cockpit, the other's pilot's mocking voice reminded him that he was obsolete over the radio, he lashed out but the green Wildcat easily dodged the attack. Then a thin desperate voice caught his ear. Keeping the bigger faster green Wildcat in his sights he swept his head back and forth to focus his microphones on the sound, it was distorted and he wondered when those had been damaged. It came again, unmistakably Sunny's voice. The green Wildcat surged forwards and Ocelot jumped, just dodging over its head and landing only for a second on the runway before twisting to his left and leaping forwards again to avoid the Wildcat's angry, but delayed, kick. He looked around wildly, he couldn't see her, but he could still hear her, her voice coming from the direction of the ATC tower. He ran for it as the enemy machine turned back towards him, feeling the tug as its teeth closed around the end of his tail, but unable to close tightly enough it, it hissed between its lipless jaws.  
  
The confused people had responded to Sunny's desperation but now with the battered Metal Gear running towards them, most of them backed away from the windows in fear. As they did so someone cried out "she has a gun!" and the others recoiled. Someone tried to grab Sunny as she shoved at the window and swung her leg over, but if were trying to capture her or stop her from falling she didn’t know or care, and she was afraid that she might or slip and fall she didn't show it. The Wildcat came sliding to a halt, head dangerously close to crashing into the bridge as it reared up against the reinforced wall between it and the buildings.  
  
"I can't r-reach!" Sunny called, staring wide eyed at the green-black Wildcat stalking towards them, in no rush to finish off its prey. The silver Wildcat scrambled at the wall to lean farther over, still unable to reach it stretched out one paw. To the shock of the business people Sunny trustingly dropped from the window onto the armoured palm, and from there onto the wall while the Wildcat dropped back down. Seeing Sunny take a leap of faith into Ocelot's claws the black Wildcat screeched and broke into a run, its own cannon engaging and swinging around with increased aggression.  
  
"H-hu-urry!" The canopy swung open and Sunny leapt for the pilot's seat. The black Wildcat opened fire in time for the old silver machine to gallop away from the wall, shells burst into the wall leaving a trail of craters while the raging Metal Gear rocked from the recoil. Sunny still wasn't sure why Ocelot couldn't respond but it gave her time to take over the weapon controls despite being winded from the fall. While the cannon was entirely out of use, the black Wildcat still turned to them in time for the heat seeking missiles to swarm around it, its machine guns took out a few before with a roar it was pushed back by the many explosions. None of which were quite enough to do anything other than superficial damage.  
  
Their connection might have been on the rocks, but there was no hesitation when Sunny turned the silver Wildcat towards the wire mesh fencing along the edge of the airfield, a second later she released the throttle entirely and with the lead he had he quickly made it away from the distracted black Wildcat. Ocelot didn't even bother to jump the fence, afraid of loosing time he just tore through it, the mesh tearing like paper from the force. Behind them the black Wildcat weaved side to side, as if confused or debating which way to turn, then with a saurian bellow it finally turned around and followed the silver Wildcat's tracks. It had just reached the edge of the airfield when its pilot finally managed to switch it from semi-auto to fully manual control.  
  
"You will listen to me!" he spat. "Now is not the time!"  
The black Wildcat seethed impotently as it was turned back towards the buildings, Mr Lewis face contorted into a rictus grin as he realised what a poor show this had turned out to be once that damn prototype had been able to fire at them. This would call for some serious PR work if the sales were going to be as good as he'd hoped. He couldn't help but enjoy the thought of the damaged machine though, the lavender fluid from torn pipes glistening on its skin as it ran for its pathetic life. Staring after the retreating Metal Gear he sniffed.  
"Shame she threw in her lot with that one, she could have really been something."


	54. Ghosts

“ _Remember your name. Do not los_ _e_ _hope—what you seek will be found. Trust ghosts. Trust those that you have helped to help you in their turn._ ”  
–  
The Instructions, Neil Gaiman.

  


_We're being followed._  
The torch clinked off his armour as it hung loose from her wrist.  
"By what?"  
_Unknown. No identification signal._  
"Not him then."  
_Why do you say that?_  
"He'd want you to know he was coming, wouldn't he?"  
_Good observation.  
  
_ \---  
  
When Sunny had run for the base, Rich had followed. He had lost her trail when she'd taken a sharp turn down a side street but her goal and been transparent to him. Unlike her mood. He'd never seen such an expression on her face before. Anger he'd seen before, worry too, but this had been so twisted and hunted... And he'd seen the gun, wherever she'd found that object. No, he'd heard all the rumours by this point, and now he couldn't even be sure that was Sunny, maybe it just looked like her, maybe it hadn't been her in a long while. He'd shuddered violently over the steering wheel. He had no wish to get between her and her goal, and for a moment he even considered going straight to the police instead of Bennett. Only Bennett might come after him if he interfered, and if that was Sunny, just pissed off beyond anything he'd seen before, then she had her reasons right? That blasted Metal Gear, he thought, going to get her in trouble, and me along with her. Taking a deep determined breath he driven to BBR.  
  
Stuck outside the gate he'd strained for any sight of Sunny, but saw nothing, neither behind him on the road or within the walls, and there were terrible sounds coming from behind the walls. As with anyone local to the area, Rich was used to the usual sounds of Metal Gear and their derivatives, but he was disturbed by the sounds of conflict and this was unmistakably the latter. Rich, like everyone in earshot, turned in a primal reaction to the scream of an injured beast, and cringed back as it became painful to hear. He jumped back into his car once his head cleared and the dusty engine coughed into life.  
"Whatever the hell that was... She'll be there too, knowing her." And he headed around the side of the base to the wire fence that surrounded the old airfield.  
  
He was still scrambling up the bottom of the embankment as a cloud of smoke rose from the Wildcat's desperate missile launch. He was still half way from the top when his slow decision to come here saved him. A moment after he watched the smoke rise skywards, the ground shook and the wire fence was torn up in a ringing clang. Rich dropped to his belly and covered his head as the howling behemoth sailed overhead. Claws clipped his car and sent it spinning away on bald tires, the Wildcat clattered loudly to the road, leaving massive footprints in the broken tarmac. Rich was blissfully unaware of the crushing hooves passing within a few feet of his head as something warm splashed him and the strong smell somewhere between fruity nail varnish remover and old socks hit him. The wetness on his skin started to burn as he sat up and watched the damaged machine run blindly out of town. Unaware or uncaring of the damage left in its wake. Traffic ground to a halt due to the bashed car flicked into the middle of the road, a shaken family made it out of the their caravan, which had tipped into a crater left in the road surface. Broken wires hit the ground, spitting dangerously like angry snakes. In the distance sirens started to wail.  
  
Amazingly, though one back wheel was leaning inwards from the impact, the side windows were both smashed and the frame and roof was buckled in. Rich was able to start up the car. Figuring it was already a write off and only hoping the back wheel didn't snap off entirely, he wrestled it roughly around the traffic and half on the road and half on the hard verge, bounced back the way he'd come.  
  
He was still arguing with the doorman as the base dissolved into panic. An oily green-black Wildcat Rich had only seen from the deliveries, shown on local news, was being put away as an ugly red Metal Gear he had seen before was clunking out into the open, its cockpit was open and a tall skinny man in a rumpled suit was yelling into a radio and gesticulating up at the machine.  
  
\---  
  
Bennett had been ready to go when Mr Lewis had called on him. Ingwe had made her orders clear, and as it was highly unlikely Ocelot was willing to stick around to be torn up into scrap metal, the moment Sunny had shown up, Bennett had started up the Red Jackal. His nominal employer sending him after the Wildcat was a bonus, now he didn't have to come up with a cover story if he had to come back here. Right now throwing in the towel with Otselotovaya Khvatka and working a normal job here and here alone was looking more and more appealing. A wildly hopping figure ran out into the road in front of him and the Jackal slowed automatically on detecting the human under its feet while in its disarmed mode. Bennett growled, if the Wildcat got back intact Ingwe would have his head and he wasn't willing to give the faster machine any more of a head start than it already had for some boy. He pushed the Jackal forwards another slow step. Rich staggered backwards, then resumed waving his arms.  
  
Ocelot was on the run, Sunny was with him, if they'd had any more of an elaborate plan it had crumbled with Mr Lewis' attempts to destroy the Metal Gear in a blaze of glorious public relations that had just gone up in smoke. Rich hadn't even told him Sunny was coming! He switched the Jackal into its armed settings and it ignored the boy by its feet. Farther away from the base and Bennett might have happily risked crushing him into the dirt, but he was not far away from the base and he didn't want to leave a blood smear to finish of his career. He popped the canopy and the Jackal's beak swung down, sharp and stained and ugly. Rich dropped his arms and shouted up before Bennett could speak.  
"You're going after them right?"  
"Get out of the way!"  
"I want to come too!"  
"Get out of the WAY!"  
"She has a gun!"  
Bennett hesitated but laughed. "So?" And sat back and shut the canopy, the Jackal's own guns swivelled meaningfully at Rich, who ran out of the way when the red Metal Gear stood up straight again. He stood in its dust as it lumbered away, leaving him alone and unwanted. His shoulders drooped and he started to feel sick, his skin burning in earnest now. Bitterly he spat into the dust.  
"Bastards."  
  
\---  
  
Mr Lewis stalked into the office, teeth bared in anger, face flushed in humiliation, demands for the Wildcat's location and for an emergency shutdown already tripping from his lips. The technicians shook theirs heads in various states of dismay and some hurried to the tracking systems. The Wildcat had never been hooked back up to the emergency system after their first attempt to break through his and Sunny's protection, but he could still be tracked. He stormed over to the screens to see for himself where the AWOL partners had run to, but only saw a blue blip on screen before he was spun around and shoved backwards into the technicians. He pushed himself upright, shoving the technicians as he did so.  
  
"Doctor Emm—" he began, but was cut off.  
"You could have killed her!"  
He straightened his suit instead of throwing a punch. "Doctor, I had no idea she was on the base, she was not supposed to be on the base if I remember correctly."  
"But she was!"  
"She broke on to private property and endangered her own and others lives interfering with the display. If I were you," he ground out through his teeth. "I would take the rest of the day off, before you do something you regret."  
  
Hal set his face into an angry mask. He was shaking and biting back tears, but he wouldn't let Mr Lewis know that. He turned on his heel and made his way out of the office as fast as he could, shivering violently and clutching tightly to his laptop case.  
  
The last time Liquid had shown up on the scene he'd remained quiet and acquiescent in his office and he'd ended up the only engineer to survive. He'd kept his head down and hoped, prayed to make it out alive as one by one his peers were taken away. Snake had changed that and had kept him going, particularly after the horror of Wolf's death. Leaning on Solid Snake's shoulder was not an option this time, but Liquid was still back and he would not sit idle. His fingers twitched and he ignored Mr Lewis' shouts from behind him, limping as fast as he could out of the building, before anyone noticed what he'd taken with him.  
  
"Rich?" He rolled down the window as he drove out, curiosity getting the better of him when he saw the battered car and the despondent young man sitting on the bonnet. The first thing he noticed when there was no longer a window between them was that the boy reeked of hydraulic fluid.  
"What are you doing here?"  
"I followed Sunny," he said flatly.  
"What?"  
"She ran out of the house like the place was on fire, so I followed her here, nearly got myself killed!"  
"Why were you at the house?" Rich realised too late that he'd said more than he should have and hesitated.  
"I er…"  
Hal's eyes narrowed, "Richard, have you been watching us? Why were you following Sunny?"  
"To um, because she seemed to be up to…"  
"Stay away from her." Hal said shortly and pulled away, spraying grit up against the young man  
who slapped his palm down on the bonnet of his car.  
  
As Hal drove away ghosts sat beside him and his knuckles grew white around the steering wheel, their sad memories a stark reminder of what happened when people didn't get involved. He would not let these men drag another innocent person down with them, if he had to kill them himself he would, damn Big Boss, damn Ocelot and damn Liquid to hell, they should have stayed dead where they couldn't harm anyone ever again.  
  
\---  
  
Sunny eased herself stiffly into the pilot's seat, tense and aching from the rough escape. Sure enough there was a slowly approaching blip on the panel. The Wildcat stood, a sorry sight, streaked with dried fluids, its cannon sunken into its shoulders on smashed bearings. Sunny would have preferred to secure it in place but of course they had nothing to do it with, nor anything to help support the massive gun while it was secured. So instead the Wildcat shifted its weight backwards and folded its forelimbs back, shoving the cannon up and out of the way before it could topple over and become more of a burden. Ocelot was quite literally holding himself together at this point and they had a long way to go.  
  
They hadn't spoken much. Sunny wasn't surprised, or fooled, by Ocelot’s haughty attitude, but gave him space to settle down. He still felt like a ball of nerves, buzzing against the edge of her mind, hyper aware and making her anxious. Or maybe she was just in the same state of mind. It had been hard to tell for most of their flight who was who and feeling what. The shaking and tightness in her chest was all her, but sudden images flashing across her mind's eye seemed to be entirely his, nothing she should get a grip on before they were gone again. Ghosts of the past, abstract and confusing. They seemed disconnected from the events of the day, but Sunny couldn't hold onto that thought well enough to pursue it. The memories had given her a pounding headache, and now the adrenaline had petered out, she was left tired and shaky and fearful of their tail. Sunny reached for the controls but felt and, for the first time in hours, saw Ocelot's fingers curl around her wrist. She froze. He gently moved her hand from the controls and shaking his head.  
  
_I'll take it from here. I might need you later. Sleep. Clear your head._  
"O-ok-kay..." She settled back in the seat, Ocelot watching curiously as she wriggled uncomfortably then reached behind her and drew out the gun with the bone grip.  
_Why do you have that?_ He snapped.  
"I.. I must have g-grabbed it when I left the house."  
_Grabbed it?  
_ She flinched at his tone. "I was just looking at t-them and... And I just must not have put it d-down when I left."  
He rumbled. _Don't loose it.  
_ "I w-won't. 'm s-sorry."  
_Mmn.  
  
_ Sunny left the Makarov on her lap and twisted around against the chair to find a comfortable position in the narrow cockpit. Nursing the sinking feeling in her stomach as she fought to find rest. Maybe she was exhausted from the stress of the day, or the Wildcat's rhythmic movements and familiar vibrations lulled her to sleep, maybe her unconscious took pity on her, either way, after a fitful hour of hiding behind closed eyelids, she finally fell asleep.  
  
\---  
  
Ocelot watched the blip on the radar dropping away as they started moving again, relaxing a little when it went out of range. Sunny was right, the other Wildcat would have been catching up by now, even if he was playing with them he wouldn't have let himself get that far behind. Playing... It was entirely possible with Liquid that he was playing, waiting to see the hope dashed from them when he finally caught up. Ocelot shook himself but couldn't dislodge the worry. This was the same man who'd had Master Miller killed just to toy with his brother's trust, sure Ocelot had been willing to pull the trigger but he and Miller… He shook himself again, Sunny murmured in her sleep. He didn't know where Liquid got that vindictiveness from. Maybe that woman Clark chose to be the mother? Or… He grimaced, not liking to think that it was buried in John somewhere, but that was the more likely answer.  
  
We should have tried harder. He berated himself. Kid was obviously messed up and what did we do? Pull him in solitary? For god's sake what was wrong with us, he needed help! There was so much going on... So much to worry about... Now look what's happened! Now he's after both of you!  
  
He took a rough patch as smoothly as he could to avoid waking Sunny and as he stepped over the other side looked down the slow sweeping slope to the corpse in the dirt. The various fins along the Wildcat's back flattened. He was still made uncomfortable by the defunct Metal Gear RAY he'd first seen on his and Sunny's original expedition through this area. It seemed so long ago now, but he couldn't shake the feeling that the body was a very bad thing. Despite his instinct to avoid it, or maybe because of it, he approached the still machine and, balancing carefully, nudged its battered head with his foot. It slumped sideways into a hollow carved out by the wind and its jaws sagged open loosely, all pressure in its hydraulics long gone and soaked into the contaminated earth. It wasn't even dead, not really, it had to have been alive to die, even now—with enough time and effort—it could probably work again. The King Ray had been in worse condition. All it needed was for someone to care enough to fix it and it could walk and fight again as well as ever.   
Like any Metal Gear.  
He sank to his haunches and debated just stopping here. Whatever was after them was probably just BBR's attempts to retrieve them. Maybe they'd take Sunny back? Maybe she could make it so they couldn't take him back…  
_What am I even fighting for any more?_  
  
A distant cry echoed over the desolate land. The Wildcat looked up from his pensive mood at the familiar sound. One of the old RAYs. Standing up smoothly he headed in the sound's direction. The old machines kept going despite everything, they tried to survive, what kind of legacy did they hope to leave behind? He wanted to call back but that would wake Sunny so Ocelot just strode off in the direction the cry had come from, a blurry marker on the edge of his radar. There was only two this time, but once they saw the newer Metal Gear walking towards them they stopped in their tracks and waited curiously. Did they recognise him?  
  
Neither of them were recognisable to him, but then his memories from his previous encounter were patchy and incomplete. The screech that greeted him was undeniably friendly however, at least to his mind. Sunny on the other hand woke up sharply and looked around in fear at the dishevelled beaks pointed at them, their baleful blue eyes inescapable. The Wildcat screeched back and one of the RAYs, the one with the torn up ballast wings, swung its head in the direction from whence they'd come. Sunny stayed shrunk back in the chair, unsure of what was happening, as the three machines cawed at each other. Finally the two RAY lurched past in snaking synchrony and headed back along the Wildcat's tracks. Sunny and Ocelot turned to watch them leave and Sunny winced, only just realising how badly her head hurt when the whole Wildcat shook bodily with its bellow and swung around to lope away.  
  
"W-what was that?"  
_RAYs.  
_ "Yes…"  
_They're going to slow down whatever_ _it i_ _s behind us.  
_ "They are?"  
_I did one of them a favour, it seems the word has spread.  
_ "W-word? Favour? Those RAY were so run down... Are you saying there are people using those that you're in contact with?"  
_No.  
_ "Then...?"  
_It's just them.  
_ "Just them... I'd heard there were old Metal Gear still around, but I didn't know if I should believe it, so it’s true... Can you talk to them?"  
The Wildcat slowed to a trot. _Sort of.  
_ "They have a language?"  
Not exactly. I couldn't translate it to words if that's what you mean, but there's an understanding.  
He watched Sunny's expression curiously as she thought about this.  
"They're working on their own, doing things for their own reasons?"  
_It would seem so._  
"And they can communicate amongst themselves... How did we not know about this? I mean, really know about it?"  
_They hide._ He replied simply.  
"This is amazing, those are AIs that have developed their own self awareness...?"  
_Is that so surprising? They're Patriot era computers, stranger things have happened_ _than that_ _.  
_ Sunny rubbed her temples, wishing the ache would dissipate. "They should be studied, maybe they could be reverse engineered, start a whole new era of computer systems."  
_Like the Patriot AI?  
_ "I... Well…"  
_They hide, Sunny. They were connected to the system when it went down and left alone they found each other. How many have been taken down by humans? Shot out of the water or torn apart for scrap? They have survived as best they can, but they are dying out, unable to repair themselves forever, unable to reproduce, unable to move on. Leave them alone. They have no future.  
_ "That's a sad way to look at it." He didn't answer. "Ocelot?"  
_It's just a fact, my dear.  
  
_ She curled back up in her seat and played with the warmed gun that had slipped from her lap when the RAYs had woken her up.  
"I dreamed."  
_Mmn.  
_ "I was in a desert, there was a wolf watching me. Was that mine or yours?"  
_All you.  
_ She nodded and let her head loll down. "You sure?"  
_Why would it be mine?  
  
_ \---  
  
The sun was glimmering through the condensation on the windscreen when Sunny next woke up. The Wildcat was tucked into a dip in the earth as out of sight as it could manage. The HUD let her know the solar panels were stretched out and drinking in the rising sun, but otherwise the machine was still and silent. Sunny cracked out her neck and tried to get her bearings, but had no idea how far they'd gone or where to. She could wake him up and find out of course, but then he had been the one to get them this far, after being torn into so badly and while he didn't sleep as it were, she felt bad about disturbing him. Leaving him alone for the moment Sunny set about finding were the gun had slipped to when she'd fallen back to sleep. Sitting back re-reading the message left on it still none the wiser as to what it pertained to.  
  
The fans in the AI pod whirred into life and in ones and twos the other systems joined in until the Wildcat's familiar sounds surrounded her.  
"I dreamt again." She said as she felt Ocelot engage with her. "It had to have been yours this time."  
_Good morning to you too. Our tail is back on the radar.  
_ "I was in the snow, looking for Wolf, I couldn't find her, but I knew she was out there, and she was very sad and I didn't know how to fix it, I couldn't find her and I couldn't help."  
_She was a troubled woman.  
_ "You cared about her."  
_She was my teammate, and young, I take no pleasure in seeing someone so young giving up on their life.  
_ "What was she like?"  
_Quiet. Patient. I didn't know her very well.  
_ "Enough to care." The Wildcat stood up quickly enough to throw Sunny back into her seat and she bit her lip as he started off in silence. "Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up should I?"  
_She was a good person, there are few enough of them around and she and I had Big Boss in common. That's all.  
_ She nodded, eyes drifting to the blip drawing closer. "I get it. The RAY couldn't hold this guy up for long then could they?"  
_It gave us a night to rest and cool down._ _We made good progress, I know where we are, I think I can call in a favour from here._ _  
_ "I hope they're okay." She murmured as they picked up speed. “What kind of favour?”  
_Someone who wants to work with us down the line,_ _might be able to provide us with fuel._  
Up on the HUD a new waypoint appeared: PIEDRA BLANCA. Sunny blinked at it in puzzlement.


	55. Day of Anger

“ _If I am anything, it is violence._ ”

–  
Alejandra Pizarnik, “[…] of the Silence,” Extracting the Stone of Madness: Poems 1962 - 1972

 

Ocelot lead them back through the pine-oak forest, into the hills. All the while the blip on the radar was drawing closer, they finally managed to slip between patrols and creep, as much as they could, through the increasingly dense vegetation. Away from the roads the land was tangled and the Wildcat had to slow down to avoid slipping into some unseen hollow. They'd lost a lot of hydraulic pressure back at the base, and while neither of them were willing to say it out loud, they both knew the weakened Metal Gear couldn't handle loosing much more without being left immobile, the last thing they needed was a bad fall leaving a weakened pipe or hose broken and leaking out in the middle of nowhere.  
  
The rundown little town appeared as the light grew dim. A group of soldiers in camouflage stood waiting outside with a large fuel truck. Sunny was dismayed by the Balam logo, but trusted in Ocelot’s sense of relief.  
“Lugo!”  
A bald man chewing on an unlit cigarette held up a hand as the Wildcat hurried over, then gestured at the fuel tank.  
“We’re adding this to your bill, plus interest. You owe us.”  
“I do,” the Wildcat rumbled as Balam soldiers hurried over with refuelling leads. “We’re being followed, by a Jackal. We’re going to detour away from the town as soon as we’re refuelled, but be on the look out, I don’t think it will bother with you but you never know.”  
Lugo nodded. “The Red Jackal? Thought that was one of yours.”  
“Not exactly.”  
“So this is the beginning of it eh? You’re challenging Ingwe for control?”  
Sunny leaned forwards in her seat, staring in confusion.  
“It certainly seems so.” Ocelot responded. “Our hand has been forced.”  
“You still have yet to get across the boarders, I presume you don’t have clearance?”  
The Wildcat shook its head around her and Sunny cursed, of course and both BBR and Otselotovaya Khvatka could have people looking out for them by now.  
“Shame, hope you can run fast and long my friend.” Lugo grinned unpleasantly.  
“I have one person I might be able to call on. Sunny?”  
“Ah! Yeah?”  
  
Sunny ran into the town as the Wildcat was being refuelled, there was still a working phone line in the town and she needed to use it. Ocelot’s eyes remained focused on the treeline as he listened in on the conversation, expecting the bloody red Jackal to appear at any moment.  
“Sunny?”  
“Uncle Hal, I’m sorry we don’t have much time!”  
“Where are you? You’re breaking up!”  
“Can you hear me okay?”  
“I can make you out, yeah, but Sunny w—”  
“No time! Hal please, try and get through to West!”  
“Who?”  
“WEST!”  
“West?”  
“Yes! Please, we need the route open for us, he’s the only one who might be able to do it!”  
“Route?”  
“We have to get back to Nicaragua!”  
“I—”  
“Do you hear me, Hal?”  
“Yes! Contact West, open the route through!”  
“Please! As quickly as you can!”  
“But Sunny—!”  
“I’m sorry Uncle Hal, I’m sorry, I love you so much!”  
_Sunny we have to go._  
“What happened? The base is—”  
_Sunny!_  
“I have to go!”  
“Wait Sunny!”  
“I can’t, there’s no time!”  
“Be safe out there! I love you!”  
  
Sunny was viciously wiping away tears as she hurried back to the Wildcat, which was being decoupled from the tanker. She scrambled back up into the cockpit as Ocelot exchanged a few words with Lugo, advising him to be ready to move if the Red Jackal decided they were a threat worth removing. Then they were standing up and rushing down the road away from the town.

Still they pushed on, eating up the miles between them and the hidden headquarters by making a daring beeline, hoping there was no one out here willing to take a shot at them. While behind them the Jackal was catching up. Sunny had never been part of a chase before, and her first experience of trying to stay one step ahead of their pursuer day by day was not a pleasant one. They marched tirelessly through the nights, the Wildcat spreading its solar panels constantly during the day to keep its batteries charged as much as possible, but their fuel and back up power was draining dangerously fast. They dodged trying to get through into Guatamala’s checkpoints by simply avoiding the roads and waiting until they were at the point closest to Honduras before making their crossing attempt. Honduras was another matter however, sprinting ahead of Guatamala’s confused forces while they dealt with equally confused instructions and information Sunny and Ocelot still gave Honduras’ borders plenty of time to be prepared for them. As they slowed and sized up the forces that had been tracing their approach.  
  
_We don’t stand a chance if they’re not a welcoming committee._  
Sunny didn’t answer, her hands were clammy on the controls and after their wild run she was shaky and exhausted from keeping the damaged Wildcat on their path and not letting the machine’s readings out of her sight.  
Her heart jumped into her throat when they drew close enough to see, at one of the vehicles present had a white spotted cat mask sprayed onto its bonnet. The passenger in it was standing up.  
_That’s Crow._  
“Are we safe?” __  
I have no idea. The Wildcat looked back and on the screens on the cockpit a Guatemalan helicopter swung around, tailing them.  
“Only one?”  
_Think they’re waiting for us to leave?_  
“Or get caught between a rock and a hard place.”  
  
Crow sat down and the car shot out to meet them.  
“He’s trying to make radio contact, should I answer?”  
_Go ahead._ __  
“Crow?”  
“Sunny! It’s good to hear your voice again. I didn’t expect to see you in such bad shape though. We’re all a bit confused, what’s going on?”  
“We need to get through, back to the base. Can you do that?”  
On screen Crow winced. “Thought you might say that. Look, you’re lucky here, most of Otselotovaya Khvatka's officers around here are old school,” he thumbed over his shoulder and the Wildcat looked up and zoomed in. An older woman, her helmet under her arm and a crooked jaw was stood staring up them from her own vehicle. “They’re pretty upset that Ingwe is trying to exclude their commander, you’ll have our support, there’s refuelling points too, I’ll give you the coordinates.”  
“You’re brilliant, Bran!”  
“Huh, thank West and your Uncle, they got the message through.”  
“What about the Jackal?” Sunny asked, and Ocelot spoke up.  
“Don’t try to stop it.” He interrupted. “It’s undamaged and fully armed, you won’t stand a chance without heavy artillery.”  
“Undamaged?” Crow repeated. “But weren’t you fighting it?” He gestured at the damage the Wildcat had received.  
“Didn’t even try, this was a different battle entirely.” Ocelot responded. “We had to retreat, the Jackal was sent after us.”  
Crow said something over the radio, but to the people behind him. There was a stirring among the ranks.  
“Shalashaska is right then, Sunny. We can’t do anything. We’ll have to let it through too.”  
_We can stay ahead of it._  
“To what end?” She asked him. “We’re heading back to its own base!”  
_We just have to hope Ingwe won’t risk a fight on her own doorstep._  
“Hope she won’t?”  
_It’s a long shot, I know, but I think we have enough allies there to make it worth the risk._  
Sunny looked down at the expectant faces staring up at them and nodded slowly.  
“Okay Crow, we’ll stay ahead of it, keep safe.”  
“We’ll try to delay it, but...”  
“You’ve already done more than we hoped.” Sunny said truthfully. “We’ll just have to take our chances.”  
“The King Ray is mobile!” Crow added as they were about to pass by. “But watch out at the Nicaraguan boarder, Ingwe’s people won’t let you through easily.”  
  
_That’s something at least._ Ocelot said, nodding with respect to the soldiers they passed by. The local troops fidgeting and just glad that the Wildcat only intended to only pass through their country on its way to attend whatever infighting was going down.  
  
\---  


The Nicaraguan boarder turned out to be less of an issue than they’d anticipated. Otselotovaya Khvatka only had two agile Metal Gear at its disposal, one was badly damaged and on the run, and the other was in hot pursuit. As they broke through at Sabana Larga there was a handful of self propelled artillery vehicles on hand and one REX. Some of the smaller vehicles tried to get out of the way of the Wildcat sprinting towards them, bellowing and setting the operators and drivers heads ringing. Others opened fire in time for the Wildcat to vanish under a blanket of thick roiling smoke. The REX’s cannon was still fixed on them, its sensors penetrating the smoke. It fired and the shell clipped the Wildcat’s arm, sending it stumbling sideways.  
  
Ocelot swore and Sunny flung out the clipped arm to throw their weight back in the opposite direction, righting them again. The REX locked on, they leapt for it, landing on the other Metal Gear’s flat back and hopping off the other side as missiles filled the air around them. Sunny kept them running, Ocelot shot missiles out of the air with their machine guns. The REX got up from its knees laboriously, took a few steps around but couldn’t dream of keeping up with the Wildcat. A few stray shots followed them but they were through and heading back towards the base.  
  
–-  
  
"Not far off now is it?"  
_No, but the Jackal is still in sight._  
Sunny winced, they’d had to cut their previous—and final—refuelling stop short when their pursuer had come into view. Now their damage was worse, they had nothing to really challenge the Jackal with, and they were going to be very short, if not empty of fuel by the time they reached the base, if her predictions were right. Sunny's reluctant gaze dragged up from the map to the video screens, and sure enough Ocelot was right. Taking long lunging steps behind them the Jackal was building up into a run.  
  
"We can't keep going at this speed!"  
The Wildcat stopped for a split second to judge the landscape before it, then hurled itself forwards again. Sunny leant out of her seat, eyes darting left and right, seeking any obstacles he might have missed. Ignoring the branches snapping around his chest and legs Ocelot focused on the rising land before them, they just had to get into the mine, if nothing else maybe Bennett wouldn't risk fighting them in there, if nothing else, they had nowhere else to go where someone might be on their side.  
  
"Rocks ahead!"  
He grunted and leapt the sudden rocky outcrop half hidden in the trees, the branches weren't enough to hold back the charging Metal Gear crashing down through them and the Wildcat was able to make its way onwards unfazed. Sunny was looking out but Ocelot was feeling the last of his reserve tanks emptying and with the fuel pumps shutting down one tank at a time came a terrible sinking feeling. Sunny blinked as the display screens started to go black and great swathes of the control panels went dark, the emergency power only light appeared and she realised what had happened.  
  
Down in the mouth of the mine faces turned upwards in worry at the pounding drawing closer. Soldiers reached for their guns, a couple even laid hands on grenade launchers, a few ran for cover. Ingwe strode out of the hangars squinting up at the side of the mine as rocks and loose earth rattled down the steep sides. Then it stopped and Otselotovaya Khvatka held its collective breath, waiting for the blow to come. With a final desperate roar of its spluttering engine the Wildcat leapt the crest of the hill, the roar gave way to a choking cough and the Wildcat slammed into the ground. Its legs gave way under it, folding up like paper, its wings unfurling automatically to catch it, only for them to push out from under it on the steep incline. Its jaws clanged together with such a noise the teeth of all the on lookers ached. At first it just slid forwards on the shale and dirt, then slowly but surely its beak lodged and it started to roll.  
  
A scream was knocked out of Sunny with the impact with the ground, she was left slumped over the controls, winded and confused by the dust and clumps of mud rolling back down off the windscreen. Slowly she sat up and tried to get her bearings.  
"O-Ocelot!" She looked in horror from the slipping earth outside to the darkness of his control panels and quickly set about rebooting him.  
"Please, please let there be something left in you..." She prayed as she felt the cockpit tipping.  
  
The personnel below backed up from the Metal Gear as it slipped down the hill. Its neck twisted as its shoulders finally rolled under it and it picked up speed. The remains of the cannon were ripped off its back on the turn and flung towards the camp. Bodies ran out of the way as the rogue lump crashed into the concrete. A shout went out as a hulking red shape appeared in the Wildcat's wake in the rift where the its body had cut into the crest of the hill. The Jackal screamed deafeningly in victory and Ingwe smiled as the Wildcat's head flipped over and back into the ground. In the bright sunlight no one saw its brilliant blue eyes flare into life.  
  
The panels lit up as the world turned upside down. Sunny cried out in relief and bit her tongue hard as they went over again. Blood filled her mouth as Ocelot’s scream for help filled her ears.  
“SNAAAKKE!!”  
Ingwe swore as the Wildcat, sucking down the dregs of fuel gravity had helped deliver to its engines and drawing the last tiny amount of power left in its batteries managed to get its claws dug into the earth and pushed itself up and out of the mudslide. Its progress down the hill was not elegant, but the Jackal was spurred into action and it charged awkwardly down the hill in pursuit.  
  
Sunny wiped the blood from her mouth with her sleeve and helped the Wildcat right itself as it stumbled down off the steep hillside. They'd barely staggered to a halt before the Jackal was on them again. This time throwing the Wildcat sprawling sideways from the impact.  
  
Ingwe bared her teeth and signalled to the Red Jackal. Bennett caught her words over the radio and gave her the affirmative, his Metal Gear's huge cutting beak opening wide to manage the Wildcat's thick belted neck. Ingwe, confident Bennett had every intention of finishing the Wildcat off sprinted back towards the hangars. Big Boss was her primary concern.  
  
The Wildcat staggered for the hangars, trying to get away even as Sunny looked for a way to fight back. The small anti-personnel machine guns would be a useless waste of energy, the cannon was nearly a hundred meters away, the missile silos empty. Only the C02 laser might make a scratch on the Jackal, but not without leaving the Wildcat utterly drained of energy—if it even had enough to charge the weapon. Bennett made up her mind for her, the Jackal snatched at the Wildcat, its beak skidded over the other Metal Gear's armour, screaming for a moment before catching in the softer protective material at the top of its shoulders. Ocelot realised what was happening and before the enemy Metal Gear could get a good grip he kicked backwards and hit the Jackal square in the chest. Its beak sliced into the hard rubber and tore at a couple of steel belts on the way out as it was pushed away. Bennett swore but was unable to get his balance as a volley of impacts followed the kick and the Jackal fell bellowing onto its knee. He looked around to see a handful of his own compatriots reloading their RPGs, all of them looking up at him with wide eyes or unreadable masks. The distraction gave the Wildcat time to pull away again.  
  
Ingwe blinked in the gloom of the hangars, peering towards the King Ray to confirm it remained quiet and still. It was not. The immense machine was slowly stiffly getting to its feet.  
"Boss!" she called out, and got his attention.  
  
The King Ray responded quickly to West's hands at the controls as the panicked man spluttered about what was going on. Ingwe's man was after the Wildcat, Ocelot. Snake bared his teeth in the confinement of his VR and sought out the one person who'd kept his secrets and life safe all this time, his one trusted friend. He saw Ingwe and roared wordlessly in anger.  
  
The Red Jackal charged the damaged sluggish Wildcat as it dragged its bent and bruised chassis towards the hangars looking for some last secret dark corner to hide before the end. Even as the red Metal Gear barrelled forwards, Bennett looked up, blood running cold at the roar that made the mine walls shake, the personnel cover their ears and stagger discombobulated by the sonic impact. The hangar door seemed to crumple before his eyes and a wall of iron sheeting obscured his vision. The Jackal to be ripped up off its feet and Bennett was thrown about the cockpit, scrambling for the controls in shock.  
  
Sunny felt close to blacking out as she stared up at the oversized beak that had torn through the hangar doors like paper. Its grinding teeth bit deep into the Jackal, small and fragile in comparison to the Arsenal Gear's titanic bulk. The Metal Gear was shaken like a rat in a dog's jaws. Sparks and flaming debris rained down on the Wildcat below. The King Ray tossed the red Metal Gear aside and it crashed into the ground, slid slowly to a halt and lay twisted in a heap. Damaged compressors and pressurised vessels started to go off with tremendous bangs and those few who were still nearby ran to escape the shrapnel.  
  
Ocelot looked up as the King Ray's oily dripping maws turned in his direction.  
"That's the Boss I know," he laughed weakly. "Covered in blood, not yours this time I see?" Then the Wildcat's head hit the ground and it shut down, finally exhausting its power supply for good. His sigh was like wind over sand dunes as the King Ray stooped over his unconscious companion. The canopy popped and ground against the concrete, Sunny cursed and slid down to wedge herself against the seat and kick it farther open. The resulting gap was barely large enough for her to crawl through, but she managed to wriggle free and tumble out onto the ground. No hands were there to help her to her feet, those still close enough to see her fall free of the Wildcat's cockpit were too afraid of the massive Arsenal Gear looming over her, still splashed in its victim's gore. Sunny wobbled to her feet, the world still spinning from the tumble down the mine walls and out onto the floor.  
  
"W-where is s-she?" she shook her head and looked up as the King Ray's shadow tightened over her and finally its head touched the ground. A water tight door hissed open and awkwardly West climbed out.  
"Sunny, are you alright? Are you hurt?"  
"No, I d-don't think s-so, but where's Ingwe?"  
"She went down into the sublevels, she ran off when I booted up the King Ray."  
"The s-sublevels?" she looked around for the entrance. "Is there another way out from down there?"  
"A way out?"  
"Is she trying to escape?" Sunny snapped and West jumped.  
"I-I don't know."  
Sunny glanced back at the Wildcat laying still behind her, silent and still. The soldiers slowly drawing closer, some looking more threatening than others. Then she ran for the tunnel, ignoring West's shouts. Big Boss raised his head again and spoke, calling for aid from the personnel around them who were slowly coming back. Everyone froze and looked up at him waiting for instructions.  
"He needs power, and repairs," he rumbled. "Who here can manage that?"  
  
\---  
  
Sunny plunged into the artificial light and wound her way towards Ingwe's workshops. The empty halls that had once held Peace Walker and various armoured vehicles seemed hollow and empty even to Sunny who had no comparison to make. Metal rang under her feet and echoed through the repurposed tunnels. A few surprised guards looked up at her, oblivious to the reality of what had been going on outside, but recognising her light form darting past.  
  
She slid to a halt in the low roofed cavern that marked the start of the labs and stopped, listening to the gurgling of the water running by in the storm drain and the weight of the tons of earth and stone above her head. Slipping between the support pillars she strained to hear anything of Ingwe in the cavern ahead, and froze when she heard a metallic click-click. She hit the pillar hard enough to knock the air from her lungs, but it was better than the alternative as a puff of concrete burst from the pillar opposite with the sound of the gunshot still ringing in her ears. As the ringing faded, Sunny's rapid breathing caught in her throat at the sound of the shutters over the doors rattling down. All hopes of making a run for it died then as she realised she was trapped down here with a child of Outer Heaven.  
  
Quiet footsteps were approaching and Sunny tensed, and looked desperately for an escape. Running forwards she managed to duck behind another pillar before Ingwe could take aim and fire again.  
"It's no good!" Ingwe called out after her. "I didn't expect you to get back here, but it doesn't matter what he does, he can't hide the truth forever, and what is he without you? A hunk of twisted steel? You can't get out. There's nowhere you can hide I won't find you!"  
"What's this about, Ingwe? Why do you hate us so much?"  
"'Us'?" She growled. "Yes, why not. You're as guilty as he is, Emmerich."  
"Emmerich...?" Sunny whispered shaking her head and seeing Ingwe's shadow slide across the floor, managed to slip in the opposite direction and moved unseen behind a row of drums. She bit back the urge to respond.  
  
She peered around the drums as Ingwe prowled around towards the central offices, peering into the windows, an old revolver clutched in her steady hand. As her footsteps dwindled around the far side of the wall Sunny called back.  
"And Ocelot?" and scuttled as low to the ground as she could around the opposite side of the office, hearing Ingwe sprint back the way she'd come.  
"Ocelot!" Ingwe replied. "He lead them to us, let us die, let Big Boss suffer! He lied to all of us! And you... I bet you never worried your pretty little head over the name you carry, the guilt that comes with it! Let alone thought of the people Ocelot left behind..." she trailed off and Sunny crawled into the offices and looked around wildly from ground level for something to use against her attacker.  
"Wasn't just me you know, and you think you'll be the special one he sticks with? But he should know better than to try to hide behind you." Sunny looked up sharply and saw Ingwe aiming down at her from the opposite door. She grabbed the office chair and threw herself sideways and it towards Ingwe, it was enough to throw off her aim and Sunny sprinted out the door she'd come in with tears in her eyes and blood soaking her trouser leg where the bullet had grazed her and torn up her skin. Running was agony, but Ocelot had been torn up all the way here, she couldn’t stop now, or she was as good as handing him over to Ingwe to do as she wished with him.  
  
Knowing Ingwe was on her tail Sunny didn't bother to keep silent, her footsteps were giving her away anyway. Maybe she could goad the woman into making a mistake, wasting her ammunition. Two shots down. As long as she didn't have any spare.  
"What's he supposed to be hiding from?" Sunny shouted back breathlessly, heading in a winding route towards the darkness over the underground waterway. "He's always been on Big Boss' side!"  
"He's a liar!" Ingwe ran a few steps and Sunny got ready for a charge but the older woman only ran alongside for a few paces. They dodged each other behind pillars until Sunny was whimpering from the pain in her leg and Ingwe finally grew tired enough of their game to take another shot at her lagging opponent.  
  
Sunny saw the small explosion of plaster and concrete and fell forwards with a cry as her leg, more damaged than she'd thought, gave way under her. She rolled into the shadows near the edge of the waterway and reached up to the railings to try to pull herself to her feet, part of the old railing, rusted through in places, folded up from her weight and she hurriedly tried to wriggle it free entirely, listening to Ingwe's footsteps growing closer by the second.  
  
Ingwe snorted, hearing Sunny's cry and watching her topple into the shadows, dangerously close to the edge of the shear wall into the dark water. Across one of the narrow bridges to the walkway on the other side, there were doors leading into the small mine shafts that had once acted as routing for the infrastructure when this place was taken over so long ago, there were plenty of back routes out of here. Ingwe eyed them up bitterly as from above the movements of the King Ray vibrated down through the rock.  
  
The metal bar came loose and fell from its tenuous hold, Sunny fumbled it, but found herself snatching it from the air before it could hit the ground, with more speed than she realised she could manage she got her feet under her and leapt up, already running and barely aware of where she was going. Ingwe cursed and turned to meet her as she swung nimbly around pipes that sprouted from the floor and ran across the ceiling like inverted roots. The revolver swung up and Sunny's arm came down. The half corroded railing cracked across the woman's thin wrist and she cried out. It was only then that Sunny realised fully that her actions were not entirely her own, as she smoothly disarmed her opponent, and Ingwe was tripped back against the concrete.  
  
Ingwe kicked up at Sunny and caught her injured leg, the younger woman's body reacted and crumpled on that side. An unfamiliar curse spat from her lips as Sunny felt her hands tighten around the gun, too heavy for her, and bring it up towards Ingwe. Click, click. The cylinder rolled and Ingwe was running, her fingers just lifting from the ground. It seemed to Sunny that time slowed as the shot rang out. Ingwe's leg buckled as the first shot hit the back of her knee and she hit the ground with a scream and a crunch of bone as her leg hit the concrete. Sunny had never seen first hand the damage an old revolver could do to a person, and she'd barely had time to register the mess of flesh and cartilage and torn tendons that had been a working knee a moment ago, before the second shot hit Ingwe in the shoulder, her hand, reaching for something under her coat dropped to the ground as she screamed in agony.  
  
Ingwe writhed as Sunny's stolen body walked closer, then slowly the injured woman bit back her cries and looked up from a growing pool of her own blood and snarled.  
"You're like him, always going to spend your life on the run, hiding, never fighting for anything but the next escape," she spat out the blood that was making her voice thick. "There's nothing left of him but lies, he'll betray you like he did your mother, grandfather, Big Boss, me…"  
  
"I didn't betray the Boss," Ocelot said in Sunny's voice. "Or you."  
Ingwe grinned and her teeth were red. "Shalashaska, should have known you'd force the girl out, I suppose you think this will give you another chance."  
Ocelot shook Sunny's head. "No, she doesn't know how to fight like you do that's all." He crouched down beside Ingwe and helped her roll onto her side.  
"Talk to me, what is it you think I've done?"  
She laughed and gurgled, rapidly drowning where she lay.  
"You've not changed a bit, in all these years.” She coughed wetly. “First one then the other, you eat them up," she slurred. "I knew the moment I heard your pilot was a woman we’d have trouble.”  
Ocelot frowned. "I don't understand, Ingwe."  
"When Big Boss and I weren’t enough any more, you moved on. You forgot me as soon as you saw the sniper girl, you tossed Big Boss aside for the son… But women were always your weakness."  
"I never forgot you, Ingwe, you think I neglected you for someone else?"  
"You chose her over me every time, I know why, she was more beautiful, sweeter."  
"You are beautiful, you always were."  
The scarred woman bared her teeth in a pained grimace and shook her head. "Never spoke a word of truth, I loved you old man, always... looked forward to seeing you... but you only wanted... her... The Boss' special one... And her..." Ingwe raised a trembling hand. "The Emmerich girl, had... better be... worth the trouble…"  
"She's a Gurlukovich," Ocelot said softly, ignoring Sunny's tears running down her face. “She doesn’t carry our sins. She’s not one of us.”  
“And… You? Shala… shaska…? What are you… Now?”  
He shook Sunny’s head. “Ingwe, I—" But Ingwe's hand had dropped to the hard ground and she didn't reply, her eyes turned glassy as a rush of bloody air bubbled up from between her lips.  
  
Ocelot sat back on Sunny's heels, but her damaged leg couldn't hold up her weight. She regained control of her own aching painful body as she sat heavily down on the concrete, Ocelot giving away control to her once again. They were silent as Sunny left the gun by Ingwe's body and limped to the surface to escape the sight and smell of death. The corridors beyond the shutters when she opened them were deserted, the personnel called away. The route upwards was a lonely one, silence hung between them.  
  
The sunlight and air washed over Sunny as they climbed out of the darkness, her shaking knees give way and she sat alone in the entrance to the tunnel. The tunnel that had almost been her tomb, and would have been if it wasn't for Ocelot. If it wasn't for the GPUs that were rumbling away like nothing had happened, feeding the Wildcat and making it possible for him to catch up with her. The rumble of the diesel engines just in the huge doorway sounded echoing in the huge space of the hangar. There were people already getting to work on the damage done to the Wildcat. It was all so normal again. Overhead the Wildcat watched, flood lamps dim in the sunlight, cameras marred with dust, as she buried her face in her stained hands and start to shake with sobs.


	56. Unanswered

‘ _Are people so unhappy when they love?’  
‘Yes, Christine when they love and are not sure of being loved._ ’

\--

Gaston Leroux, The Phantom of the Opera

  


"How are you doing, dear?"  
Sunny looked up from her book and smiled warmly up at West.   
"Hello," she piped. "I'm okay, sore but going to be fine." She gestured at the bandage around her calf. "Guess I've got another scar added to my collection."  
West shook his head at Sunny's overly cheerful demeanour.  
"What about you though, not your leg." Sunny's gaze flickered and he sighed. "Ocelot mentioned to me that he'd... Been, in his words, careless. He's worried about the impact on you."  
"Mmn, I'll be fine... How is he?"  
  
West grimaced, talking to Sunny wasn't turning out to be much more productive than talking to Ocelot, who'd dodged every question put to him. The battered Metal Gear had limped into the hangars for not insignificant repairs, the installation of a replacement cannon and the new set of fangs developed from Sunny's plans in her absence—Ingwe had laughed when the Wildcat's unofficial ground crew had asked to put in an order for spare components, but had allowed it, West understood her amusement now, she'd never anticipated the Wildcat getting the upgrade.  
  
Holder had brightened up a lot since Ingwe's defeat, he'd come out of the hole he'd been hiding in. With the old soldier too occupied to be concerned with him, the man who'd been behind the Wildcat's chassis design had eagerly taken up leading the repairs on his masterpiece; spending his time bustling from group to repair group, clucking over the damage that had been done, and plucking bits of information about the new Wildcat from Ocelot. He was not happy to find his design taken out of his hands, but with downloads of the footage of Ocelot's fight against the new model, he believed he could aid Ocelot and Sunny in their studies of their new opponent. West had invested his time making sure the Wildcat was stable and healthy. The AI pod nestled safely in the back of the Wildcat's skull had been opened and West had the damaged weapons cards sent to engineering to be repaired or replaced. As for his psyche Ocelot seemed well off, though distracted. He'd evaded questions on Ingwe by responding with questions of his own, and West had had no choice but to answer him, but he puffed out his chest now and refused to play the same game with Sunny.  
  
"In good hands." He responded to her now. "But how well he does depends on you, you know."  
"I know... I'll be okay. I-I'm still having nightmares about it, but I'll be okay, I don't b-blame him, I f-felt it."  
"Felt it?"  
She looked down at her hands and clenched them into tight fists, trying to shake off the ache in her fingers. "He forgot, I'm not as strong as he was, that's why his aim... He just wanted to stop her…"  
"Oh. I see."  
"At least he got t-to talk to her, but... I don't really know what she was saying."  
"Well, if it's any help, we've gotten in contact with command."  
"H-huh?"  
"Ocelot suspected she'd been acting on her own and he was right. One is... A busy man, but he intends to join us as soon as possible, until then our instructions are to support Big Boss and Ocelot as well as we can." He hesitated, gathering his thoughts. "One had concerns, seems Ingwe was trying to get him to believe that Ocelot was a threat too."  
"He d-didn't listen?"  
"Said that wasn't the Ocelot he knew."  
"They know each other personally?"  
"Seems so," West shrugged. "But I asked Ocelot, he doesn't know anyone by that name, whatever the connection, I guess we won't know what it is until One gets here."  
  
"So... What was Ingwe up to? I mean, I'm guessing the majority of people in Otselotovaya Khvatka didn't agree with her, why was she doing all this?"  
He averted his eyes, "We're finding that out now, and determining who among us was a part of Ingwe's plans."  
"And he's not said anything about his connection with her?"  
"Who, Ocelot? No of course not, not a word. Big Boss has mentioned her though, between them they seem to have some idea of what she was after."  
"O-oh?"  
  
West stroked his chin, bristly and unshaven. "Big Boss thinks she remembered the rumours about Ocelot that went around Zanzibar Land. He wasn't a part of the nation, but he was a frequent visitor. After NATO bombed Outer Heaven and Big Boss' identity was revealed, he had to go and found Zanzibar Land, to protect himself and his people. Ocelot was his primary informant then... It meant he was also a vulnerability."  
"Did they think he might betray them to The Patriots?"  
"Exactly, either by accident or intentionally. He knew the nation's weak points, had the opportunity to lie to them, some even said the motive. Big Boss says that his advisors believed he was too trusting of Ocelot."  
"Was he?"  
"Ingwe seems to believe so. When he discovered Solid Snake had agreed to come out of retirement, to come after Big Boss and defeat him once and for all, Ocelot went straight to Zanzibar Land. While Big Boss does not believe The Patriots had any reason to doubt Ocelot's loyalty, his timing was… Well, he arrived short on time and was forced to leave when the first reports of an intruder came in; from the same region Ocelot had made his entrance into the nation." West saw Sunny's incredulous expression.  
  
"Yes, even Big Boss doesn't believe that was an accident. Ocelot's maintaining he doesn't know anything about it, but it's possible The Patriots knew, loyal to them or not, Ocelot would still want to warn Big Boss of the threat and he gave them the route by doing so. Big Boss doesn't believe Ocelot incited the attack or gave them away intentionally. The Patriots wouldn't have had to do much to talk Snake into the mission."  
Sunny nodded slowly. "No, he's right; Snake hated Big Boss then, he wanted revenge." She looked up. "S-so Ingwe knew about this? And she blamed Ocelot?"  
"Big Boss believes so, yes."  
"But what she said... Seemed so personal. Had he d-done something to her too?"  
"Maybe that's how she felt."  
"Mmn...”  
  
“S-so she intended to use Otselotovaya Khvatka... To get her own revenge?"  
"Ocelot knows more, he's been working on getting the information out of her men, but yes, that seems to be the case. I'm sure he'll tell you himself as soon as he's able." Suddenly West smiled secretly and his eyes twinkled, "And I have an idea," he tapped the side of his head, "that I think you'll rather like and I'd appreciate your help with, once this is all straightened out. I'll let you rest now though." He patted her shoulder and went to leave as she gawked at his retreating back.  
"Y-you can't just leave me with that!"  
He just waved over his shoulder at her.  
  
_Sunny.  
_ She murmured and rolled over in her sleep, in doing so she dragged her injured leg over her foot and woke up sharply, keening and grabbing at her calf. Stooped over her, Ocelot gave her a sorry look and retreated to the chair in the corner of her room and sat leant forwards with his hands clasped together between his semi-transparent knees.  
_Was it bad?  
_ "Mn, had to have stitches," she gingerly stretched out her leg again, the stabbing pain had retreated and gone back to a dull ache. "But it wasn't deep."  
_Good.  
_ She swung her legs out of bed and dragged the itchy blankets around her shoulders.  
_I’m sorry._ _For letting you go down there alone and unprepared, for not shooting well enough._  
"None of that was your fault! I should be thanking you, I'd be dead if it wasn't for you.”  
He sighed and the weary look on his face deepened. _Then maybe I should just apologise for coming back at all, and talking you into sparing me…_  
"Are you okay?"   
He shook his head. _West got you up to speed?  
_ "W-well... kind of? He told me what Big Boss' theory was."  
_And?  
_ "I think there's more that he doesn't know."  
  
_You are correct. Snake's,_ _well_ _I believe he_ _has it right_ _. Ingwe had been pressuring Otselotovaya Khvatka to work on the King Ray, but One wasn't interested. Her original goal was to bait me, make me sabotage my standing until BBR was forced to decommission me_ _and One’s attention could be redirected to Snake_ _. When she discovered how we were communicating however, she_ _bargained_ _that I would be able to use the same method to wake up Snake, and that his trust in me would be enough to stabilise him until a fix for his AI could be found. Of course to get that far I had to be stable myself, providing the solution they needed for his AI. So_ _once it was shown I was safe and working well,_ _she had the information passed onto me that the King Ray existed.  
_ He raised a hand and ran his knuckle across his lips, talking behind his hand he went on.  
_She wanted Otselotovaya Khvatka, at least the branch we're with here, to doubt me, and for me to doubt them. That's where your... Kidnapping came in. I would be forced to come_ _here_ _for help with Snake, but she anticipated my reluctance to remain here,_ _that the troops would be biased against me_ _and thought I would turn against them quickly._ _So when I r_ _eturn_ _ed_ _to you_ _at BBR, it_ _gave her exactly what she wanted: an excuse to have the Red Jackal kill me as a turncoat, that would either make Snake agree with her or be motivated by my death. Originally_ _it seems she_ _hoped to_ _persuade_ _Snake to kill me himself._ He chuckled dryly and let his hand drop. _Seemed the idea of using the Jack_ _a_ _l was to make it possible to point the finger at BBR should I die as anything other than a traitor and enemy.  
_ "Why BBR?"  
_It's in a good position, it's_ _defensible_ _, it comes with a fully stocked armoury, fuel reserves, vehicles, buildings, GEKKO... Metal Gear._  
"She wanted Big Boss... So they could start again? Taking over the Epsilon-6 site?"  
_Exactly. This time with Otselotovaya Khvatka as his fledgling army.  
_ Sunny frowned, "But there's something else, she said she loved you once, why was she so ready to blame you for what happened?"  
  
The grief that flashed over his face startled her in its intensity and he whispered.  
_I'm a foolish old man, Sunny. I can't see what's right in front of me. Ingwe was an orphan of Outer Heaven, her parents had been 'rebels' fighting against Snake's intrusion into South Africa, but_ _NATO_ _'s attack was impartial, the same people who'd helped Solid Snake's infiltration were cut_ _down by the clean up operation when he left. Snake came for them, helped them, reorganised them, took them north to found Zanzibar Land. They'd lost everything, their friends, family, their home and land, many had been badly injured, burns, lost limbs... They had nothing left but the desire to strike back at the ones who'd let them down._ He shook his head. _Not the first incarnation of Outer Heaven to be founded on a desire for revenge, my dear, and no less deadly than the first. It brought old enemies together under a common goal, and all fell in line behind Big Boss as their leader. Ingwe was a child then, but like most of the children of Zanzibar Land, she became well accustomed to being behind a gun.  
_ "That's horrible!"  
Ocelot nodded. _Yes, if there was anything Snake and I_ _disagreed_ _on, it was child soldiers. I this case I reluctantly agreed with him, what choice did they have if they wanted to survive? The Patriots wished to wipe Snake's legacy off the face of the Earth, no, to twist it into something they controlled, to take his power for their own use, to use him as a puppet, his people had no place in The Patriots' future. Ingwe was orphaned, injured, alone and angry, she... Always did have a bit of an attitude problem._ He smiled wryly. _Snake wasn't all about raising small soldiers, I didn't need to insist on education_ _for them_ _. When I visited Zanzibar Land however I often found Ingwe was avoiding the classes that had been set up. She and I got on well, I'd met worse cases than her, she wasn't a bad kid. When I had time to spend with her, I did, she responded to that. She was disliked by the other children, and it made her attitude worse. I made a deal with her: she'd go to her classes for Snake and when I was there I'd take her out and spend as much time as I could spare on her_ _alone, if she didn't do her work then I could have nothing to work with myself and had no reason to train her privately_. He nodded to himself. _It worked, she loved having knowledge and skills the others didn't and I could give her that.  
_ "So why did she hate you? Couldn't you keep your promise?"  
His silvery brows knotted. _I kept it, but Ingwe wasn't my only reason for visiting, she wasn't even my primary reason. I was too old_ _and too busy then_ _to remember how an angry child saw the world,_ _but_ _I was an orphan_ _my self_ _, I remember how I felt when my favoured instructors gave 'too much' of their attention someone else. To her my attention being on anything or anyone else was an insult, she could share me with Snake, but well... she was different.  
  
_ "She? Don't play the pronoun game with me, Ocelot."  
He clenched his fists and leant back. _I have to go further back for that... To make it make sense.  
_ "Go on. I’m not going anywhere."  
_You remember I told you about Quiet?  
_ "The sniper right? The one who left… Yeah I remember."  
_I couldn't let her go, I searched for her for months, until Venom told me it was no good, to give it up._ _S_ _he was my responsibility after all,_ _and I felt at fault_ _for her thinking that leaving was her only option. I still don't understand why she allowed herself to be captured, I sometimes wonder if she intended to die, wanted to, but couldn't bring herself to do it_ _herself. S_ _o she'd hoped the Soviets would instead. Instead they tortured her, raped her, I was supposed to protect her. Being a prison guard isn't all about keeping the door locked you know... Eventually even I gave up,_ _i_ _f Quiet didn't_ _want to be found, we weren't going to find her. Then shortly after Diamond Dogs merged with Outer Heaven, Snake, that is Big Boss not Venom, and I were leading a training mission in Turkey. We discovered a group of Kurds, nomads, they'd fled their village, but refused to head for the cities. They'd been persecuted by the PKK and members of their group had been picked off one by one. They weren't doing well when we found them and we offered to evacuate those that were left, they could join us, or we'd find them a safe place to leave to. That's when_ _we_ _discovered the girl who would become Sniper Wolf.  
  
She stood out, I'll put it that way. I've met plenty of blonde Kurds, that wasn't unusual in and of itself, but her family, none of which claimed to be directly related to her, all had Turkish blood in them. There was a strong drive to expunge the Kurds, that included forcing Kurdish women to marry Turks, and well... You get the idea. I have no doubts Wolf was indeed Kurdish, but not from that specific group of people. Her family among them said she'd appeared one day with a ghost, who'd protected them until she'd vanished and left the young girl with them. I... wanted to believe it was Quiet. Wanted to think she'd passed through and was still out there somewhere. It put Wolf into a new light. All of a sudden I found myself searching for signs... They had the same green eyes you see, Wolf and Quiet. I wondered…  
_ Ocelot sighed.  
_Even Snake pointed out her blonde hair when I mentioned it and asked me if Quiet and I had been_ _—_ _but it wouldn't have even been possible,_ _not for either of us I think_ _. It didn't matter to me. I loved that girl, I spent whatever time I had with her, I even seriously considered taking her back with me.  
_ "You were going to adopt her?" Sunny sat up straighter.  
_I thought about it. I thought about how I was alone. How often she'd be without me. I couldn't very well drag her around the world with me. Sit her in the corner with a colouring book while I pulled teeth... Metaphorically speaking, I never actually did that.  
_ Sunny nodded.  
_So I left her with Snake. I thought it was for the best! I really did! I visited her as often as I could, Snake knew how much I'd grown to care for her, but I suppose I saw myself as something of a... dead beat dad. Huh. I couldn't be there enough. So it didn't matter how I saw my role in her life, I didn't let her know, I let her make up her own mind. To her I was probably just some guy who took up her afternoons. She remembered me when she was older, but in the same way you remember the friends of the people you grew up with, a friendly face, but nothing particularly personal to you._ He trailed off, eyes on the ground, looking old and sad. Sunny watched him, unsure how to answer his story. It hadn't ever occurred to her that Ocelot might have wanted a family.  
"I'm sorry."  
He looked up.  
"I'm sorry things turned out the way they did with Wolf. Don't blame yourself, you did what you thought was best for her, you couldn't have known."  
_...Thank you.  
  
Wolf took to rifles like... Well, like Quiet had. I encouraged Snake to focus a lot of energy on her. If only I could take that back. I didn't know what I was doing... Unlike Ingwe, Wolf devoted herself to her classes. She wanted Snake's admiration, he'd been the one to pull her out of Turkey and she adored her saviour, but when I had the opportunity I would go and find her._ His moustache twitched in a transient smile. _As far as I was concerned, Ingwe was always welcome to join us, she was handy with a gun, though not so proficient with the rifles as Wolf was. It never occurred to me that Ingwe might not see it in the same way.  
_ "So, you kept leaving her behind, for Wolf?"  
He nodded. _I was foolish, Sunny, I knew that Ingwe's scars ran deep..._ He paused. _No maybe I have no right to talk about this,_ _Ingwe’s life, her views are so different to mine._ _  
_ "What do you mean?"  
_I'm a white man speculating on the life of a black woman,_ _who was a little girl when they met, guessing at how he impacted her,_ _I shouldn't..._ He grimaced. _I never... I never had cause to think about that. I don't know_ _what_ _had any part to play_ _in how things turned out_ _, I won't speculate, I won't, but I wish I knew what had been going through Ingwe's mind. I wish I'd listened more,_ _not presumed we saw things the same way.  
  
__Ingwe_ _f_ _elt outcast_ _I know that much_ _, and then when she fell behind, it was our 'classes' together that made her feel better. I told her she was good, then the moment Wolf showed up allowed myself to focus entirely on her! Then Zanzibar fell, I left Ingwe alone, she was taken in by the system, rehabilitated, found a home. Wolf too. I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving them both alone, they didn't need their past coming to find them._ He hung his head. _It wasn't until I was reunited with Wolf in FoxH_ _ound_ _that I realised my mistake, you can't simply ensure someone's security by avoiding them, but by the time the doubts were in my mind, Ingwe's trail had gone cold. I thought I was doing the right thing.  
_ "But it was just another abandonment to her?"  
  
He nodded shortly. _I guess so. Maybe it seems petty to an outsider; not being able to share a friend, being left alone with strangers. But to her, her world was torn apart, all the people she had learnt to trust had betrayed her, I'd betrayed her, the only one who hadn't had 'died' because of me, or so she saw it. Her family was dead, Snake was gone, her home burnt to cinders. She lost everything, rebuilt then lost it again. I've seen hate and a desire for revenge eat people alive before, and yet I didn't recognise it in her. Sunny!  
_ She jumped.  
_After this, after we get rid of Liquid, go home. I don't know what Snake and I are going to do, but you shouldn't be a part of this, this life. I didn't want to see you dragged into this by your mother, but look what I have done. I won't see you end up like so many before you, another young woman with so much potential cut down because I came into your life.  
_ "I'm not going to do that! Don't make this all about you!"  
He flinched and looked up comically wide eyed.  
"These women, they were adults, they made their choices, sure maybe things you did influenced them, but you weren't the only person in their lives! You weren't they only thing affecting them!"  
_I know that!_ He bristled.  
"And besides, it's not like you not to learn from your mistakes, or to let them get the better of you."  
_But I—  
_ "If Ingwe is keeping an eye on you still, what's she going to think if you leave me alone now, after all this?"  
_Don't…  
_ "She needs her peace too, Ocelot, we'll stick together, and we'll do our best for Snake, right? That's what she wanted, for him to recover?"  
_Right._ He nodded. _I hope so...  
  
_ \---  
  
"Good morning, Snake!"  
The King Ray's head tilted to look down at the small figure of the woman below him.  
"Sunny," he rumbled. "Does Ocelot know you're up?"  
She grinned and shook her head. "Not yet, and don't tell him, he's in a funny mood."  
"He's worried about you."  
"No, he's fretful, he has too much energy and spends it in the wrong place." She grinned. "But I'm not about to blow away on the breeze. I want to be helpful."  
"Well no one is going to let you work around here with that leg of yours." He chuckled. "Ocelot knows you well, he's warned everyone to keep you from over exerting yourself."  
"Of course he has..." She muttered.  
"But there is a lot to do," he nodded towards the rest of the base. "Two Metal Gear came through he recently, really trashed the place."  
  
Sunny looked back at the ramshackle buildings and the men and woman busying themselves cleaning up the place, some of the buildings were in the process of being repainted, the need to repair leading to renovations. It didn't seem like quite the right response to the situation, but like her everyone seemed at a loss as to what to do. Ingwe's people had been separated out and put under lock and key until it could be decided what to do with them. Snake, watching the soldiers wander around aimlessly, had given them instructions then to make the place look respectable, and to clean up the mess left by the Red Jackal and Wildcat's arrival two days before. It was keeping them busy.  
  
Sunny crossed her arms and looked back up at the King Ray. "Can I ask you something?"  
He grunted.  
"Ocelot was telling me about Ingwe when she was a child, and Wolf."  
"Yes?" he sounded uninterested and Sunny bristled but took a breath before continuing.  
"I'm guessing not but... He and Wolf weren't related were they?"  
The huge machine shook its head slowly. "No. He was confident that it was just a coincidence, but we made sure, just in case, after all I didn’t need to be aware of them for the twins to show up."  
Sunny grimaced at his bitter tone.  
"What about Quiet?"  
"Oh, you've heard about her then? We don't know, if Wolf was hers we had nothing we could test against. It doesn’t seem likely that she could have had children however."  
"So Ocelot—"  
The King Ray moved its head as close as it dared and Sunny felt her skin crawl as she felt very very small.  
"I don't pretend to know what he's thinking." Snake rumbled. "But I would guess he remained hopeful that Wolf would be a reason for her to return."  
"Did she?"  
"No. Never."  
She slumped. "Poor Ocelot, he doesn't have a lot of luck does he…"  
"Hmn?"  
"Never mind."  
The King Ray lifted its head and stared out of the hangar, lost once again in its own world and silently dismissing her.  
  
Sunny limped out of the hangar. Snake seemed less engaged with her, or anything other than himself, every day. He conversed only in fits and starts, and only concern over the soldiers seemed to rouse him for long. She glanced over her shoulder at him before heading towards the cells—which had been rapidly expanded to make room for the new occupants—looking hopefully for someone she knew to keep her company. As she approached the makeshift prison she saw four figures gathered around one of the stand alone cells. Three of the figures were standing, one was on its knees. Sunny hesitated, skin prickling, then a hand fell on her shoulder, a firm palm and three hard fingers, the forth lay lightly against her skin as if against a hair trigger, she looked up and Ocelot shook his head and pulled her away. She followed meekly, silently agreeing that she shouldn't want any part of what was happening by the cells.  
  
_You’re up and about already?_ _  
_ "I was about ready to c-climb the walls."  
_Something is bothering you.  
_ "A lot of t-things." She dropped her gaze. Feeling his attention probing she shrugged him off and he withdrew with a guilty look.  
_I heard you talking with Snake.  
_ "Sorry." He quirked an eyebrow and Sunny frowned up at him, the brilliant sky half visible through him as the projection played tricks on her eyes. "I should have just asked you."  
_I probably wouldn't have answered.  
_ "There is something I wanted to ask you."  
_Go on?  
_ "Why did Ingwe make such a point of my name? Emmerich?"  
  
Ocelot, shimmering blue in the warm sunlight turned fuzzy around the edges and Sunny felt the surge of resentment and stepped back. He turned a hard look on her. _No. It belongs in the past._  
"What does?"  
_The answer. If you must know, then we'll talk about it later, I'm needed right now, and it's difficult enough to command from_ _recumbency_ _without bringing up the past._ He gave her a long sideways look then he flickered and was gone.


	57. Questionable Methods

“ _I am in that temper that if I were under water I would scarcely kick to come to the top_.”  
**―  
** John Keats

 

Hal moved the phone from under one ear to the other so he could relax his shoulder. The incident at BBR had quickly sprung up online with photos of the damaged road and interviews with scared witnesses. Ever since then he'd been smoothing out the ripples disturbing the waters he swam in. Meryl had had to be hung up on, Hal knew he was going to have to pay his dues on that one later, she'd been going around in circles and was more interested in telling him how he'd screwed up than being helpful. He appreciated and respected Meryl and her knowledge but he didn't need her less than diplomatic verbal skills. Rosemary was calmer by far, she'd listened patiently to Hal's situation and occasionally spoke quietly to her husband, Jack's soft voice indistinct from Hal's end.  
  
"You'll call us as soon as you find out what's going on, won't you?" She asked.  
"Of course."  
"Poor Sunny, I hope she's in good hands."  
"I only wish that were the case." Said Jack's voice in the background.  
Hal watched the stolen laptop screen as he worked to make his old software install on it.  
"He's done well by her so far." Rose said hopefully.  
"Sure, he's like that. I'm not worried about him right now: he still needs her if he wants to survive Liquid," Hal shuddered. "But after this, if there is an after this... Look, I'm sorry Rose, I have to go, I have work to do."  
"Of course, good luck, Hal. Send Sunny my love?"  
"I will, and Rose?"  
"Yes?"  
"Thank you, both of you."  
"No need, Hal, we understand how important this is and if there's anything we can do…"  
"Thanks, I'll call you."  
  
He hung up and tossed the phone over his head onto the armchair at his back and rebooted the machine, crossing his fingers tightly that the programs would work. They were from his and Dave's time together as Philanthropy, he'd kept them safe all this time, just in case, but hadn't been able to upgrade them.  
  
The laptop hung as it struggled with the program and his workarounds, then a few heart stopping moments later the utilitarian screen opened and Hal finally released the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. He dragged the slim machine onto his lap. After years of neither needing, or being allowed access, to his old tools and skills cultivated in the years on the run with Dave, being able to paddle in the shallows of his old role was an incredible relief. One that Hal shamefully enjoyed even as he worked. Old half-forgotten muscle memory woke up in his hands and as he worked he could almost smell faint cigarette smoke on the air.  
  
\---  
  
The sun had risen golden and intense over Otselotovaya Khvatka's base, which seethed like a disturbed ant nest. The shift of power had ruffled the established structure of the mercenary group and the chain of command had been broken with Ingwe's death and the separating out of her troops. Only now was it becoming apparent that some if their previous number were unaccounted for but no one knew what to do about it. Irritated by this, Ocelot had thrown together a band out of the few he'd established to be trustworthy and, with one of the GEKKO, they had been sent out to hunt down the AWOL soldiers. Ocelot crouched on the high collar of earth that boxed in and hid the base from outside eyes and watched them vanish into the treeline. Dogs straining on tightly held leashes.  
  
He tucked in his sharp chin and growled to himself.  
"Maybe I should arrange a second party."  
There was a lot of ground to cover and local towns in reach of a runaway soldier on foot. If they'd already reached the local populace it might be worth focusing separately on those areas. A distant whine caught his endlessly scanning microphones and he raised his head and looked around trying to focus in.  
  
The helicopter was small and for a moment Ocelot thought it was another of the bothersome media flies that had started to buzz around. Then the machine gun on its blunt nose came into view. Ocelot growled, zooming in on the aircraft. It wasn't from the States. He evaluated it as belonging to the native forces or another PMC operating in the region. Either could be growing concerned over Otselotovaya Khvatka's behaviour and the arrival of new weapons. The cannon on his back was newly installed on the battered base and hadn't been fully connected, with no ammunition to feed through it, though control had been handed back to him. He turned it onto the helicopter as a bluff and bellowed. The troops below looked up and spotted the intruder as, realising it had been spotted, it started to turn.  
  
Ocelot didn't take his gaze off it as it swung around the mine and took off quickly back where it had come. Sunny's voice came sweetly in comparison to the chopping blades.  
_Is that a problem?  
Maybe. Maybe not._ He answered.  
_West says it was probably the closest PMC. Apparently they've been trying to get in contact with us.  
_ He grunted. _Vultures. Friendly?  
Cooperative, he says.  
_ Ocelot turned and climbed awkwardly down the steep incline, snapping out demands for whomever closest was in charge as he reached the bottom.  
"I want more mounted machine guns up on the crest, no use down here, and I need those anti air guns manned! All the time, not just when you feel like it!" With the instructions passed on and being executed, the most active and able of those having their faces committed to Ocelot's infallible memory, Ocelot looked about for his partner. Her signal was close by and above ground. She hadn't come to meet him as he came down. With a flick of his whiskers Ocelot followed the electronic scent of her nanomachines.  
  
Disorganised and divided the base had split naturally into two loyalties, aside from those steadfastly loyal to Ingwe’s memory. There were those who saw Ocelot as the obvious choice to step up as Otselotovaya Khvatka’s leader, and those who preferred Big Boss. Those who preferred the latter tended to remain biased against Ocelot, and his previous actions. He didn’t begrudge them this, but it was making work here harder. As for Ocelot himself he had no interest in taking over total leadership, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’d held the fort for Snake while the man was in recovery, he felt fairly confident those defaulting to him as their leader would willingly obey Snake if he was doing so. Soon Snake would need to address the whole group, and reassure them that yes, he was indeed going to step up and lead them, even if it was through Ocelot. This led to Ocelot’s primary frustrations: Otselotovaya Khvatka needed to be organised soon into a force to be reckoned with, while they were falling in line, morale was low and efforts shoddy, it was clear everyone knew they had no defined leader as of yet. Second on Ocelot’s list of frustrations was how to move ahead with Snake. Already the name of Big Boss was ingrained in the minds of everyone here, it would be hard to shift that and time and time again he found himself slipping back into old habits, but the habit had to be broken. If Snake was going to shrug off that old mantle and establish himself as a new man it was simply necessary. Big Boss, the assassin who killed his mentor, had to die, and only Snake had the power to do away with that. Hell, maybe ‘Snake’ wasn’t even the right name for him, but it was a start. His start.  
  
Big Boss, Snake, Saladin, Vic, the names varied with the person talking to him. Whatever his name was, he was struggling. He saw the world pass him by as if from the other side of a thick pane of glass, muffled and distant, belonging to people who were more alive than he was. He’d finally become a weapon in body as well as mind, and it had brought him no pleasure or peace. He felt empty and guilty. He knew how much Ocelot had sacrificed to give his previous self freedom, and how much he’d sacrificed to help him come back again. A whole life, sacrificed for someone who couldn’t even enjoy the gift he was given. He wasn’t worth it, and yet, here was Ocelot yet again, ever at his side, promising that there was a way out of this hole he found himself in. Promising this was just another wound, like the hundred he’d had before, something that with help could heal. He trusted Ocelot, but he found it hard to believe there was anything that could help him now. He curled deeper in on himself, wishing he was alone, afraid to be left alone, achingly empty.  
  
Ocelot for his part was doing what he could to keep the base running. Requiring so much work from himself, while not being able to get on the troops' level, quite literally, was putting a crimp in his style. It was difficult to get involved and it was almost impossible for him to keep those reluctant to follow his orders in line on his own. Snake would be up on his feet soon, but not knowing how useful he would be, Ocelot was mentally constructing his own unit to help him control the despondent army. Some of his chosen few were already at work in the recently expanded jail. He’d hadn’t had a small unit of his own since the 80s, he wondered if calling them the Ocelot Unit was still acceptable considering the name of the PMC. Major Ocelot’s Ocelot Unit of Clawing Ocelot? No, it was probably too much, and certainly had no style. Whatever the unit would end up being called, they were currently guarding, under his strict orders, Ingwe's trusted number. Most of them were already willing to pledge allegiance to Big Boss, and he had no doubts the others would be happy to simply leave and they would be welcome to if it wasn't for his prior agreement with the Balam PMC. There was potentially still valuable information to take from them but he suspected they had all they were going to get, Ingwe had been secretive.  
  
For the most part the prisoners had been taken fairly peacefully, before any of them had known they were no longer free individuals. There had been a few exceptions, those who’d fled the site and one who had met his untimely death moments after he'd seen Sunny point him out from the crowd. He had attempted to run and in the resulting confusion been shot dead by one of his would be captors, who was currently on toilet cleaning duty for being over zealous. His companion hadn't been so lucky as to avoid his fate at Ocelot and the Balam’s hands. It was that man, Ratel, who Ocelot was on his way towards now, and his mood grew dark as he grew closer. He anticipated finding Sunny by the man’s cell. Despite multiple warnings against it, she was drawn repeatedly to the prisoners by the many unanswered questions she and Ocelot shared.  
  
Time to kill two birds with one stone.  
  
"Sir!" Ocelot's new second in command saluted smartly. "We have the new reports for you." She had a strong clear voice and her broad shoulders under her armour had proven solid enough to support the responsibility Ocelot had dropped on her. She looked and sounded as strong and reliable as so far she'd proven to be. They'd spoken at length when he'd decided to select her, despite the reactions of some of the other soldiers, as his lieutenant and he'd won her loyalty entirely with his attitude and support.  
"Thank you, Liger." He rumbled, "but it is Sunny I'm looking for."  
Looking somewhat abashed Liger instantly pointed towards the third and smallest prison. "She's... Talking to him, I suppose you'd say."  
"Oh?"  
Liger looked up into the glowing lamps looming over her and nodded. "Or winding him up more likely. I didn't know if she was supposed to be here..?"  
"She's not. In future send her away."  
"Yes, sir."  
"Or maybe I'll just solve the problem myself..." He muttered. "Actually Lieutenant, I think it's about time we revisited our friend Ratel."  
  
Sunny closed her eyes and quaked. It was impossible not to be aware of an approaching Metal Gear. The ground shivered with their steps and the unnatural sound of their actions were ominous heralds. She was well aware Ocelot didn't want her here and understood why, but she needed something before he took the opportunity away for good.  
  
A chill fell on her and she looked up from within his shadow to find his baleful blue gaze pouring over her.  
_Sunny…  
_ "I have things I want to know."  
_You disobeyed my orders.  
_ She shot him a smouldering look then pointed at one of the men cringing, bruised and pale, in the cell. "Emmerich. Worked with Big Boss?"  
_I told you I'm not discussing this right now. It doesn't concern you or anyone in the present.  
_ The man had seen a chance and not hearing Ocelot's reply he lurched up to the door and clung to it.  
"I've told you all I know about him, he was a scientist working for Big Boss a long time ago! His designs were used for years! But he—"  
"Stand down!" Ocelot bellowed and the base flinched as a whole and those closest rubbed their ears and looked around concerned the shout had been aimed at them.  
  
Sunny shook her head to get rid of the ringing as the man whimpered in fear. He'd been one of the men who'd worked her over on Ingwe's orders, before handing her over to the Balam. Sunny turned away with little sympathy for him. Ingwe had been a private person and all he'd admitted to knowing was that she wanted Big boss to return. When pressed he'd all but sung the stories Ingwe had told them to inspire their love of Big Boss and of course, Ocelot's reputation had not gone unscathed in those stories. Lies had been spread, and that worried Ocelot when he looked on those less than loyal to him.  
  
"Please Shalashaska! I don't know any more, let me go! I'll leave and you won't see me again!"  
"We'll see about that." Ocelot purred.  
Ratel sobbed and shook his head. "There's nothing more! I've told you all I know! I was following Ingwe's orders, please, please don't hurt me any more, let me go!" His watering bloodshot eyes widened as the Wildcat stepped fully around the cell to look straight at him, then called Liger over.  
"Unlock the cell. The water tank is full?"  
"Yes sir."  
"Good."  
Sunny looked up at him. "Ocelot…"  
"No! No!” Ratel scrabbled for the back of the cage as Liger went to unlock it.  
"Ocelot!" Sunny stepped around in front of him and the AI's projection flickered into view before her. He gave her a long detached look then raised his eyes as Ratel was pulled upright by two of his ex-comrades.  
"Find out what the agreement with the Balam was, our friends will be joining us shortly and I want to know exactly what the original deal pertained."  
"I'll tell you! You don't have to do this!"  
"Ocelot you're better than this!" He didn't look at her. "You don't need to! You know I don’t approve, and you know why!"  
He froze, Sunny took a step back, an oddly startled look appeared on his face and when he turned to look at her, he seemed to stare straight through her.  
_You don’t approve?_ He echoed.  
“Please Ocelot, I know you're better than this. You don't have any excuse to use this kind of thing any more, it won't work for you now anyway, he's willing to talk already you're only doing this because you can.”  
His shoulders slumped, he vanished.  
The Wildcat huffed. "Wait. Ratel, if you’re willing to talk. Talk."  
  
They listened as Ratel told them all he knew about the agreement with the Balam. Sunny kept her eyes averted from him. The Balam had been hired for some amount of money, he was clueless as to how much it had been and Sunny could feel his frustration and guessed the amount had been obscured by Ingwe and no one else had the knowledge. Otherwise it was everything they already knew, Ingwe had planned to blame the other PMC for Sunny's capture and pin her interrogation on them, absolving Otselotovaya Khvatka of any blame, Ocelot's offensive move on discovering her situation had been anticipated and made him seem to be the threat Ingwe had told them he was. Ratel trailed off, seeing neither Sunny nor the Wildcat reacting positively to his information.  
"Please," he wheezed. "I don't know anything else, she didn't tell us anything else."  
Sunny looked up at found Ocelot's washed out eyes on her, debating on if he trusted Ratel or not.  
"Very well." The Wildcat rumbled eventually. "Lock him up. The Balam will be arriving soon to collect their payment, I want the prisoners ready to hand over."  
  
The Wildcat swung away, Ratel howled in rage and anguish as he was dragged back into the cell. Sunny ran after her companion calling out to him.  
"Wait Ocelot!"  
In the dusty stretch between the makeshift cells and the rest of the base the Wildcat stopped and waited for Sunny to catch up.  
"Ocelot... I'm s-sorry if I overstepped. Thank you for listening to me."  
_Thank you for saying something. You're right, if I continued in that manner it would be for my own satisfaction alone, something I swore I would not do. I used to think I was better than that, I guess I'm not any more.  
_ "You d-did stop."  
_Thanks to you.  
_ "You didn't have to listen to me."  
The huge head swung around to look down at her, she gazed up, small and fragile beside his bulk.  
_No, I didn't.  
_ She tried to smile. "Guess there's s-still hope for you yet."  
_Keep beli_ _e_ _ving_ _that, for me and Snake. Maybe we’ll start believing it too.  
  
_ Sunny looked down at her feet, unsure what to say. She looked up finally when a neat pair of brown boots—speckled with shifting static and pixels out of place—appeared almost toe to steel capped toe with hers. His eyes had finally softened under bristling worried brows and his blood red clad hands felt like the weight of the world on her shoulders.  
  
_I take that back._ _Don't worry about me._  
"I have to."  
_Why?  
_ She shrugged. "You won't."  
He smiled. _Solnyshko…  
_ "You called me that before, what does it mean?"  
_Do you still want answers about Emmerich?  
_ She smiled wryly. "Yes."  
_It's unsatisfying.  
_ "I want the truth."  
_Very well._ He stooped until his forehead bumped against hers with a feeling like static electricity and she looked up at his familiar sad smile. _Take me up to the top there, so I can keep watch on the base while we talk?  
_ The apparition faded and Sunny was looking up once again at the long snarling face of the Wildcat. The cockpit slid open.  
  
\---  
  
_It was almost ten years after the event that the deeds of Huey Emmerich would come to light. He worked on Metal Gear ZEKE for MSF. It was one of the earliest of its kind and the first to be_ _wholly_ _bipedal. Huey was obsessed with bipedal locomotion, born without the use of his legs he saw it as the ultimate step forwards for weapons systems. And that was really all he cared about. Weapons. That and getting his own way.  
  
He __orchestrated_ _an attack on MSF. The base, the lives of those on board and Big Boss in exchange for more funding. It didn't turn out the way he had hoped, and nine years later he contacted Diamond Dogs, Mother Base reborn, and asked Venom Snake to come and 'save' him. XOF, his benefactor, had grown tired of his failures to finish work on Metal Gear Sahelanthropus, and with an alternative means of controlling it_ _available_ _, his usefulness was at an end. So Snake 'rescued' him. He was interrogated of course and after 6 hours showed no sign of admitting his guilt, he only blamed everyone else, but there wasn't_ _—_ _no one else came away from MSF unscathed, and worse, he gained where they lost.  
  
He remained on Mother Base working on creating new weapons in exchange for his life, but never won the trust of the Boss, he was a compulsive liar, he contradicted himself and changed his stories over and over and cemented his position as a perpetual prisoner on the base. It was a terrible mistake to bring him there, let alone keep him there. __H_ _is presence seeded further lust for revenge in Diamond Dog's XO, and ultimately cost the base more good men and women in the most grotesque of ways._  
  
Ocelot growled. _We saw him murder a man and dance over his corpse in joy, only to beg_ _innocence_ _over_ _another murder, claim_ _ing_ _he could never kill a person and I'll be damned if he could see the_ _inconsistencies._ _His self indulgent experiments cost lives, and the Boss was left to... Clean up... the mess. Then Sahelanthropus was stolen from our custody due to his designs.  
_ The Wildcat's baleful glare swept over the base and on to the hazy blue horizon.  
_He killed your uncle's mother._ He said softly and Sunny looked up, her drained expression turning wide eyed in shock.  
"But Hal said—"  
_That he was sent to live with friends of the family when his mother fell ill, so his father could take care of her. Lies. More lies. Dr Strangelove, his mother, sent him away to keep him safe from his damn father who intended to make him a part of one of his experiments._ _W_ _hen she got trapped inside an AI pod he left her there to suffocate_ _instead of finding help_ _. She was a desiccated_ _corpse when we recovered her, just skin stretched over bones, mummified by the heat of love.  
  
_ Sunny stared up at him mind reeling. "I... I knew he wasn't a pleasant man, but I had no idea, Hal just said he was a bit m-messed up."  
_That's certainly one way to put it._  
"Does Hal know this?"  
_No. And it should remain that way.  
_ "You can't keep this kind of information f-f-from him!"  
_Then tell him, but to what end? Nothing can be done about it now. I am well aware of Hal's sense of guilt over his family's history. Would you add to that? My dear it would be cruel, useless, nothing else.  
_ Sunny opened and shut her mouth then turned away and slumped on her seat: the Wildcat's forearm.  
_I said it was unsatisfactory. A selfish man got away alive to abuse other people. People who had to live with the damage he did. He can't be brought to any form of justice. The damage is done.  
  
_ "How did he get away? "  
_I... Persuaded Venom Snake that releasing him was for the best.  
_ "After everything he did!?"  
_I regret the decision, I should have had him taken out once he was away from the base. But the atmosphere on Mother Base was toxic, the men wanted blood, they had to be defused, had to see their commanders let something go. I should have found another option.  
_ He quailed under Sunny's glare and averted his gaze.  
"So..." She looked away again releasing him. "That's why Ingwe talked to me like that."  
_No doubt saw herself as protecting Snake from another traitor, or thought you were only in it for your own benefit. I doubt there was any real logic there, it was just something else to hold against you.  
_ "Mmn...”  
_Snake must have used Huey's fate as a threat after I filled him in on what happened, or maybe someone from Diamond Dogs moved on to Outer Heaven or Zanzibar Land and took the story with them. Haunted by ghosts of someone else's past... She really couldn't let go of anything.  
_ "Must have learnt that from you."  
_Maybe you're right.  
  
_ He raised and tilted his head as if he were listening then suddenly stood up. Sunny slid off his arm and landed on her feet.  
"What is it?"  
_Your uncle has been sending messages.  
_ "What? No, he's breaking the agreement of his release, he could be ar-arrested! And I was the one who started that… Oh no, Uncle Hal…" she dragged a hand over her face.  
_I'm not receiving well…  
_ "Give him the base's—"  
_Snake, did you get that? We'll be right there. Sunny._ He stooped and waited patiently while she got aboard before heading down the track into the base.  
  
The King Ray was back in scaffolds but this time at least the Arsenal Gear was outside in the sunshine. For what it was worth.  
"Ocelot, Sunny." He rumbled. The fitters having their lunch on his shoulders looked up in surprise. "What do you make of it?"  
"You seem to have some sort of infestation." The Wildcat reared up to reach the people who laughed and scattered for the scaffolding on the far side in case their new XO actually got annoyed with them.  
"Dr Emmerich requires a way to send the data on our old friend, and on that subject... I can't say I'm over enamoured with being on a hit list."  
"Do you think we might need to move ahead sooner?" Sunny crossed her arms and sunk back into her seat, listening closely but not fully following the conversation.  
Suddenly Ocelot apologised. _I'm sorry Sunny, we've been discussing this a lot between ourselves._  
  
Sunny agreed that the three of them should talk face to face and a moment later, and far too abruptly to be Ocelot's actions, Sunny was standing back in the silent forest that Big Boss constructed around himself. There was ash scumming up the surface of the river. The weight of the trees was almost tangible. The man himself was eyeballing her suspiciously, but Ocelot stepped up beside her and he looked away sullenly.  
"We're not ready to return yet." Ocelot spoke up, "I'm still due repairs and we've not even started your sea trials." He turned to Sunny. "We've decided the safest route home is along the coast. It'll be rougher for us, and take longer, but it won't be expected and there's a slimmer chance of the King Ray being spotted. We’ll have to cut inland to go around towns and cities, so we ourselves might not see much of the coast, but we’ll be close enough to lend a hand."  
Sunny frowned. "There's got to be surveillance on us already, you might be able to hide from satellites but him..?"  
"Satellites?" Big Boss repeated looking up at his friend for input.  
"Yes... well. A slimmer chance. Not a slim chance. We'll just have to hope the sea tests hide our real goal."  
Sunny shook her head. "It's too early to bring him back. Besides, whatever they think your goal is, the King Ray being up and functional again is going to attract a lot of attention, if it hasn't already."  
"We need him now." Ocelot disagreed. "If something happens to me, only he has the fire power to suppress the base."  
"Wait... The base?"  
"Yes, the only way we stand a chance is cutting out the communication systems as quickly as possible and incapacitating the resident forces. Right now I believe I can do that, if I act fast enough, but if I have to escape before the job is completed, or if the resident Metal Gear are mobilised we'll need the King Ray's offensive strength." He shook his head at Sunny's stricken expression. "Don't worry. We're going in non-lethal. We want casualties kept to a minimum."  
  
"Recruits not bodies." Snake mumbled around a cigar as he patted his pockets looking for a lighter. Ocelot rolled his eyes and fished one from his coat.  
Sunny watched the unnecessary ritual in bemusement.  
"Recruits." She echoed back when the lighter was put away and their attention was returned to her.  
"I'm sure you're catching on? " Ocelot straightened his coat and preened.  
"You're starting again." Sunny said flatly. "I thought you would have agreed that part of Ingwe's plan was ridiculous. Five failures not enough for you?"  
"Failures?" Sunny looked up at Big Boss’ muttered comment. "I heard Ocelot's Outer Heaven did well?"  
"It wasn't exactly your independent nation t-though." Sunny shot back. Big Boss blew a stream of virtual smoke from his nostrils and sighed. Hiding her nerves Sunny looked to Ocelot.  
"No... but we can learn from what I did. The world still needs... wants soldiers like us." He glanced at Snake. Sunny shook her head in disbelief. "It's not going to be like before, I intend to keep my word." Ocelot's glance turned steely, until the old mercenary it was directed at looked away, nodding weakly to himself. "Snake will be getting the help he needs, and this won't be a warlord's fever dream, we're doing this legitimately, just another PMC."  
Snake didn’t say anything.  
"Just another PMC huh?" Sunny said flatly.  
Ocelot smiled. "Trust me."  
“Like I have a choice.”


	58. Trinity

" _I loved my friend.  
He went away from me.  
There's nothing more to say.  
The poem ends,  
Soft as it began,--  
I loved my friend._ "

\--

Langston Hughes, "Poem"

 

"I want to keep her."  
Otacon looked up from his computer blinking owlishly into the gloomy room. Solid Snake was sitting in the open window, wedged securely between the frames by his shoulders and bare foot. The smoke pouring over his lips glowed orange from the street lamp outside. He turned to look back at Otacon who asked: "What?"  
"Sunny. I want us to call Raiden while we still can, tell him he doesn't need to keep looking for a home for her. I want to keep her."  
"Snake! We're barely keeping ourselves going as it is, we can't look after her too."  
"What about that money? It's stable isn't it? Why don't we just use it?"  
Hal frowned. "I'm not even sure we should have it. Remember, it's from someone who's been dead for nearly a hundred years!"  
"Dead? Someone else is using the name."  
"But why? Why are they hiding? And why are they supporting us?"  
"Probably some politician who doesn't want to be identified."  
"You're not even a bit interested?"  
"Of course I am. I just feel we have more immediate problems."  
"And you want to add to them?"  
"You don't mean that. She's never been a problem. She's three years old, looks after herself almost better than we do."  
"That's the problem..." Otacon sighed and dragged off his glasses to rub at his tired eyes. When he looked up Snake had silently stepped up to him and was crouched next to him, cigarette still smouldering in his fingers.  
"Hal, I want us to be a family. The three of us."  
"Dave…"  
"Think about it? I know neither if us had great parents ourselves but I think we could do good by her. "  
"You really think we can provide for her?"  
"We have so far right? And she'd be safe with us."  
  
Hal frowned in his sleep, the firm thankful embrace of his long term companion gave way to the unsupportive crushed pillow and he was pulled cruelly from his dreams into a woefully empty house. Desolation crashed down on him as he regained consciousness. Despite everything he dragged himself from his tousled bed and nudged the laptop awake with his foot.  
  
There was a message waiting for him and he forgot breakfast immediately, stiffly sitting down to see what it was, blinking away sleep and regret as he did so.  
  
\---  
  
"Your uncle replied?"  
Sunny yawned and nodded. "Mn-yeah?"  
West had already been awake for a few hours. Sunny had been awake most of the night. After her confrontation with Ocelot and Big Boss she'd had a lot on her mind to keep her awake.  
"He's on board, says he can take down the communication system for us from inside, and the gate if needed. The GEKKO are connected to a central control system he believes could be a threat if left up. He'll hit that too, but says: 'no promises there'."  
Sunny blew swirls in her coffee. "He's got to be reluctant…"  
"Reluctant and recalcitrant. He's going to do it though and that's what counts, I don't think he'd have agreed if it weren't for you, he's certainly not doing this for Ocelot or Big Boss."  
"We owe him for this."  
West looked up at her, sat back in her chair looking out at him from under her pale fringe and over her dark coffee. He frowned.  
"We certainly do. He found us easily."  
"Him and anyone else with access to the Wildcat's beacon."  
"It's still on?"  
Sunny nodded. "Well... Not now, but it was. Must have been turned back on at BBR. Tried to switch it off on the way here but didn't have any gear, and the Jackal was following us anyway so..."  
"No time hm? Well... as long as he's with us better take advantage if his abilities. Well. I mean... "  
"You're right. If he sees a way out for him and I, he'll take it."  
"Will you?"  
"I don't know right now."  
  
"Sorry I'm late!”  
"Crow! About time."  
Sunny and Crow greeted each other while West printed out a set of large schematics and added them to those sent by Holder.  
"I need you to help Sunny with this. These are the what we have on the Wildcat, old and imp—New. Along with Sunny and Ocelot's own knowledge."  
"This?" Crow scraped out a chair. "Holder can't give us more or... Help?"  
"He is helping." West said sternly as he handed the sheets to Sunny.  
"Sooo..." He drew out as Sunny shoved the papers pertaining to the silver Wildcat towards him.  
"So we need a fresh pair of eyes. Ocelot and I have been dealing with the same weak spots for too long. Find what we've missed and what Liquid might spot." She gestured to the red marks she had previously highlighted. "The new Wildcat will have a lot of these fixed already."  
Crow flicked through some of the sheets but kept his sighs to himself as Sunny poured over the black Wildcat, red marker pen in hand.  
  
"Why isn't Holder doing this?" He asked, tapping his own pen against a likely looking area. "Doesn't he know better than us?"  
"Yes..." Sunny said slowly, cautiously circling the Wildcat's elbow, where the armour had to give way. As on her own Wildcat the joint was covered with a fine composite mesh, the difference was however that the Black Wildcat had an extended section of armour to add protection. Underneath it though the joint was as vulnerable as ever. The legs, any Metal Gear's greatest weakness, were even more heavily armoured; lacking the old Wildcat's exposed Achilles' actuators. She marked a few other more obvious areas for good measure then looked more closely.  
"He'll be checking over this with us later, but right now he's busy…"  
"Oh the cannon?"  
"Uh-huh," she tapped her lips with the pen absently mindedly. Crow grinned as she marked her upper lip with red ink. "He's taking pre-emptive measures against the new model too, there's not much we can do to reinforce his armour out here, we'd be waiting too long for the components, but he's making sure we won't have to face any spontaneous failures once we're back home."  
"Home... So ah... the rumours? Are they true?"  
  
Sunny looked up and West peered over his shoulder, just as curious. She sighed and nodded. "Yes, Ocelot and Big Boss want to lead Otselotovaya Khvatka back to BBR, isolating the communications ahead of time, and using Ocelot and Liquid as a distraction while you all secure the base."  
"And Big Boss?"  
Sunny hesitated. "Intimidation technique. Last resort... If the King Ray is required to fight we..." she shook her head. "Well, hopefully just the sight of him will be enough, but he'll also be armed with various non-lethal ammunition, chaff and smoke mainly, to throw off the RAY and help hide you all from the GEKKO. They're going to be the immediate threat when you're infiltrating, they'll already be active. They're BBR's second line of defence, after the walls and we don’t know yet if my uncle can take control of them."  
"How are we're getting past the walls? They're designed to keep Metal Gear out right?"  
Sunny gave him a wry smile. "Yes, but not Arsenal Gear."  
"Oh. Good point."  
"The King Ray will allow the Wildcat and I access, once the base is focused on us, Hal will open the gates."  
"Hal? Oh, your uncle."  
"That's right."  
"I didn't think he'd help...? I mean... I can't imagine he's exactly a friend of Ocelot's?"  
  
Sunny glanced at West then down at the paperwork. "He's not, and he won't want to help, but he will."  
"No staying neutral for him, not with you involved I guess?"  
"Yeah."  
"Sorry," he said on seeing her unhappy expression. "I'm sure it'll turn out okay, I mean, you and he don't have to stay involved afterwards right?"  
"No, but I'll have to choose sides too. I don't want to abandon Ocelot, I worry he won't help himself otherwise, but being a part of Big Boss' revival—it's bad enough I've helped this much… But I can at least help them take down Liquid for good, that's something. I hope I don't have to see more than the start of all this."  
"You'll leave after?"  
"I think so."  
"And do what?"  
She shook her head. "I'm not sure."  
  
Crow went back to his work, pointing out a thin spot in the Wildcat’s armour. West turned back to his monitors. On the surface above them the King Ray cycled through its grenade launchers and the workmen stepped back from the Wildcat, as its jaws slid open and the long hooked fangs mounted inside its jaws flexed forwards and back experimentally. Between its shoulders the internal mechanism of the cannon rolled over and attempted to load. The old friends prepared to re-enter a fray they'd never quite escaped once started, over 70 years previously, when they'd met on the Virtuous Mission.  
  
\---  
  
The Wildcat stretched out its paw into the sunlight, knocking up dust that clung to Sunny's black trousers. She squinted up at the Metal Gear, trying to make out its details in the shadows of the hangers against the glare of the sun.  
"They're close." She repeated. "I told Liger to get the prisoners ready, was that right?"  
_Yes, good work._ He replied. _How far is ‘close’?_  
"They can't be much more than twenty minutes away now."  
_Wonderful. Then shall we go out and meet our new friends?_ He glanced over his shoulder and the King Ray moved forwards, looking deceptively slow, unstoppable and solid. Its claws hit the hard packed ground with a boom, a groan of laden joints. Sunny paused to see if the Wildcat would stoop to pick her up, but it swayed up and forwards in a rush and stepped over her. She ducked instinctively as the wind ruffled her hair.  
  
The King Ray stood imposingly at the foot of the dirt road leading up the side of the old mine wall. The Wildcat stayed just in front of its smaller front legs. Neither machine was looking good as new, the King Ray was heavily patched and mismatched, with large areas of sickly coloured base coat, and poorly matched top coats of paint. The Wildcat was scarred with a number of dents and gouges in its armour, its paint work had been trashed. The smaller of the two imposing machines still held its head high on its elegantly curving neck however, and stood firm and strong, carrying its damage with all the pride of the victor. The Wildcat's long head turned to look at her, and sent Sunny his reassurance. Above her, manipulator arms as thick as her upper arm twisted and arched impatiently. Then over the radio, in Ocelot and Snake's heads and at Sunny's hip, they were alerted that a company was about to cross the unseen line at the outer base of the mine. Should they be allowed to approach further? Ocelot gave Sunny a curt nod and she replied with an affirmative.  
  
The company of Balam representatives came in a number of open topped 4x4s painted with their insignia. The soldiers were not neatly kitted out, with no fixed uniform, but a mix match of things that mostly looked like they belonged together, with the PMC's coloured applied somewhere on their person; a bandanna, an armband, a patch or the like. They all clutched a rifle or submachine gun to their person. Despite the variety everything they had appeared to be of good quality and in well kept condition. Lugo was in the front vehicle, but did not disembark when they pulled up, until General Alaniz's car came up beside them. Only then, once the General had jumped out and was craning his neck to apprise the sun blotting bulk of the King Ray before him did his right-hand man join him.  
  
"Master Shalashaska," he roared. "I see you told us the truth, your hero has returned!" he turned to Lugo and said something in Spanish, that made Sunny look up sharply at Ocelot.  
Ocelot replied sharply in the same language, Sunny blinking as he silently translated for her. She knew some Spanish, but Lugo and Alaniz spoke too fast for her to keep up.  
"General, we appreciate the compliment, but for the sake of my pilot, would prefer to continue our discussions in English."  
Alaniz grinned, not at all sheepish. "I should have guessed you'd be programmed with more than one language, sir."  
Ocelot shook his head. "Learnt it the hard way many years ago. But enough of that, General Alaniz, it is good to see you again. I was glad to hear you were still open to negotiations with us and we were all grateful for your support on my journey from the US. Let me introduce you." He stepped aside with a sweep of his tail and looked up at the King Ray. "General Alaniz, this is Big Boss, leader of Outer Heaven. Boss, I am happy to finally introduce you to General Alaniz of The Balam Private Military Company."  
The King Ray inclined its huge beak and Big Boss' voice rumbled out a gracious greeting. Alaniz beamed up at him, somewhat nervously Sunny thought.  
  
"To think I’m meeting The Legend himself, so long after we all thought you were long gone and buried. I am glad to see we were wrong! And you, you must be Sunny Gurlukovich, I deeply regret that my knowledge of you is limited to your and my peoples' previous encounter, which was less than flattering." He stepped forwards, offering his hand to the one human sized individual. She grasped his thick hand firmly and shook it, he nodded at her grip.  
"It is good to meet you in better circumstances, General." She said, forcing her voice to remain steady.  
"Now, negotiations?" he said, not looking away from Sunny. "Yes! But first I would like to see these men responsible, these prisoners you promised us."  
  
Ocelot nodded. "Of course. Sunny, please lead the way." She looked up sharply, but the Wildcat, though its face remained a snarling mask, gazed back at her with silent encouragement, the sound of a vehicle approaching made her glance over her shoulder. A masked Otselotovaya Khvatka soldier of indeterminate gender pulled up in one of the group's own cars. Sunny looked back up at Ocelot, nodded and bid the Balam men to follow her before climbing into the car. Alaniz gestured for a handful of his soldiers to follow them. Alaniz and Lugo climbed in with Sunny, the others followed in one of their own cars. The Wildcat kept pace alongside them, apologising that the King Ray would not be able to walk with them, but that he was there in 'spirit' so to speak, and anything they wished to direct to him, they could do so through Ocelot himself.  
  
Lugo spent the entirety of the short journey across the base peering out of the window. Alaniz however seemed more interested in Sunny and she answered his questions as politely as she could, while aware the whole time that Ocelot was listening carefully and judging her responses. She was rapidly starting to wish she hadn't come along with him, and wondered what she'd done to deserve this.  
  
"So, Sunny Gurlukovich, may I call you Sunny?"  
"Yes, of course General."  
"You have no rank?"  
"No, not as it stands." She didn’t tell him that ranking was still a fuzzy concept here as Big Boss had never claimed a rank for himself, and Ocelot didn’t seem to even think of it, though someone had been whispering to his unit, who’d started to call him ‘Major’ among themselves.  
"It must be a confusing position to find yourself in, you are Shalashaska's woman yet have no rank among Otselotovaya Khvatka?"  
She tried to laugh pleasantly, but felt it sounded strangled. "I am the Wildcat's pilot." She responded. "My job is to complement his work, not to command any of his troops. But yes," she admitted. "Since he and Big Boss took command of Otselotovaya Khvatka, there has had to be a... period of adjustment for all of us." She felt Ocelot's silent approval at her implication that Otselotovaya Khvatka was limited to this single group.  
  
"Of course, of course. And for you? A period of adjustment?"  
"I have had to adapt to changing circumstances, but Otselotovaya Khvatka is supportive of its allies, I have been given all the aid I could have asked for, as has Ocelot and Big Boss, though our means for Metal Gear maintenance and repair are comparatively limited."  
"I am so glad to hear it, not the limited means of course, but that's where I'm sure your commanders' interests in expanding their options lay?" he looked up and the Wildcat glanced down.  
"Indeed." Ocelot rumbled. "But we look forward to expanding and growing in many directions. We see Otselotovaya Khvatka becoming a big player on the field of Military Companies."  
"As big as Outer Heaven once was?"  
"Indeed!" Ocelot responded. "And indeed, that's one of the reasons I am so glad you are here, General. While your company is significant in this area, we believe that by cooperating, for a split share of the profits, both of our companies can expand out of South America and gain new footing in the mercenary business. If nothing else, as I previously mentioned to you, I would much prefer it that we two did not have to compete for the same territories."  
Alaniz nodded to himself, glancing at Lugo and out at the base. Otselotovaya Khvatka was a smaller group than his own, but better equipped and better trained.  
"Yes, yes," he responded eventually. "I believe there is much we can gain from each other."  
  
They pulled up by the makeshift cells and Liger stepped up with a sharp salute to receive them. Sunny, climbing out of the car, was glad to be able to hand over her unexpected leadership to the chief prison guard. Introducing Liger as Ocelot's Lieutenant. Ocelot proudly talked about the speed with which the secure cells had been erected, and how the unit he'd put in charge of the site had risen to the new challenge. Alaniz was particularly interested in what information they'd gotten out of Ingwe's loyal soldiers, and Ocelot assured him he was welcome to the full reports and transcripts.  
  
Alaniz inspected the miserable prisoners with a look of approval, nodding and exclaiming either to Sunny or Ocelot when he recognised an individual he'd dealt with previously. Questioning some injuries, asking about the interrogation procedures, if any of them were troublemakers. Even Ratel, who was known for rattling the bars and trying various methods of getting a response from his captors, just bowed his head in mute submission when they came to his cell. Alaniz pointed him out to Sunny. "Ah this one, you know him, eh?"  
"I do." She said shortly.  
"I bet you're not sorry to see him behind bars?"  
"I would prefer to see him in the back of one of your cars, going out of the base."  
Alaniz laughed and slapped her shoulder hard enough to make her lurch forwards. "Of course, of course! And I would prefer to see them in my own cells," he grinned like a shark and Ratel cringed. "So soon we shall both be satisfied!"  
  
Sunny discovered that Ocelot and Big Boss had not been at all idle in communicating with Otselotovaya Khvatka's leaders abroad, though they never said it explicitly to Alaniz, it was implied in their discussions for reparations. The Balam leaders sat down with drinks on hand, the two massive Metal Gear commanders before them. Typically, when Ocelot wished to talk to Sunny for an extended period of time, he would lower himself to the ground and remained stretched out like an armoured sphinx, but before these men he remained standing. Ocelot offered them a sum of money that tested the limits of Sunny's carefully neutral expression, until he silently explained to her that the funds they'd actually been given for this exchange were higher.  
_I don't think I really appreciated how strong Otselotovaya Khvatka was_. Sunny sent back to him.  
_Many connections, years of investment opportunities, but no presence, no one knows they’re out there, at least not by that name.  
  
_ They haggled back and forth, adding in future cooperation agreements, territory boundaries were laid down and finally, as the sky started to turn a deep shade of blue and the sun sunk close to the high limited horizon of the mine, they came to an agreement. The cash price was just above the first price Ocelot had offered, and he was pleased to be able to hold back the rest for future endeavours. General Alaniz figured out for himself that Big Boss and Ocelot, with their plans to come out into the open with Otselotovaya Khvatka, would not be intending to remain in this old mine. He indicated that, if they could secure the base, the Wildcat's home base at BBR would be a fine position for their company. IF they could secure the site without bringing bigger stronger forces down on their heads. Ocelot agreed, but declined Alaniz's offer for support in storming the site.  
"I appreciate the offer, General, but we intend to take the site with minimal conflict."  
"If you manage it, you must tell me your secret!"  
  
Ocelot and Big Boss made an open invitation for the Balam company to remain at the base that night, and to celebrate with them the closing of one troubled chapter of their relationship, and the start of a new one filled with bright new opportunities for both their peoples. Sunny took her leave graciously and kept to herself for the evening before going to bed, to sleep through the festivities. She was saddened to find that Ocelot did not keep her company, but unsurprised that he was tending to his guests. The following morning however he woke her up early, and she came out to join him in watching the frightened prisoners being lead, tied hand and foot, to the Balam's vehicles. As the slightly hung over soldiers drove out of the mine with their new captives and the written and signed—Alaniz wasn't entirely convinced by Ocelot using Sunny's hand for that, but had eventually conceded that Ocelot required the aid of someone with thumbs—promise that the money would arrive in their accounts before 48 hours had passed.  
  
"What now?" Sunny looked up at Ocelot's projection, he ran his hands over his scalp and pushed his hair back over his shoulders in a too-smooth cascade of dull silver.  
_Well._ He said slowly. _That's two fewer problems to worry about. Now we can proceed with claiming a base of our own. You know, last night after you left, I got Alaniz to agree that any members of Otselotovaya Khvatka who were dissatisfied with the change of command, would be offered a place with The Balam.  
_ "Wait, really?"  
_Of course. Otselotovaya Khvatka isn't well known, they have been hiding after all, so anyone who does wish to leave may struggle to find a position with a new PMC.  
_ "But would you really want your own soldiers going over to The Balam?"  
_Why not? Better they go to an ally than an enemy._ He smiled at her. _And sooner or later, I'm sure they'll... find their way back to us.  
_ Sunny squinted at him, his smile didn't falter, it lasted too long as he waited. "You're already making plans to absorb them."  
_Not plans per se... Not specific plans.  
_ She shook her head. "One thing at a time. You might not even have a company when all is said and done."  
_That's pessimistic. I thought you'd be in a good mood now Ratel and company are gone?  
_ "Yeah, I thought so to."  
  
\---  
  
The scummy water burbled past sluggishly. Snake hadn't moved in some time, occasionally Ocelot's tossed pebbles made a satisfying plop as they vanished under the water, sometimes, sometimes they didn’t make a noise, sometimes they sat on top of the water. Snake’s world was not always reliable. It was lunch time and the teams working on them had run off for their half hour. Half hour was a fair time for the two AI's inside their own head-worlds. Snake had welcomed Ocelot's intrusion into his space out of instinct, but the years and battles had left them standing together awkwardly, unsure of what to say, an invisible wall built from unspoken words rising high between them.  
  
Snake listened to the familiar and comforting clicking of Ocelot's spurs somewhere out of sight on his right hand side, and the sound of him rummaging around for skipping stones. Occasionally he'd open his mouth, then close it again, nothing seemed suitable to say to this man. Ocelot was his closest friend, the only ally he still unreservedly trusted, who'd fought tooth and nail for him even after his death, and now he was almost a stranger. How, after everything Ocelot had recounted on their reunion, could Snake simply open a conversation with him?  
He rubbed his temples.  
When was the last time he'd opened any conversation?  
  
Ocelot was not oblivious to Snake's internal struggle, but unlike Snake he'd gotten used to the long painful pauses between either of them thinking of something to say to each other. Ocelot was content to just stand beside him again. It didn't compare to the half forgotten reality of how things had been, at least so he told himself, but in truth it was difficult to imagine anything different to what they had right now. He teased himself with ideas of unspoken requests and answers, a silent companionship, a basic human appreciation for the other's presence—warm, alive, unbearably fragile, something so much more precious than this awkward silence and tension. He closed his eyes, rubbing his thumb over the smooth stone, it was almost perfect, and had appeared 'mysteriously' in the wiry grass just as he was about to give up. He cracked open one eye and glanced at Snake appreciatively, then sent the stone spinning out over the river. A moment of understanding almost missed in the spiky grass and mud.  
  
1, 2, 3…  
"Still trying to think of something to say?"  
4 skips.  
Snake looked up, fatigue etched deep in the lines of his face.  
"Don't force it, I know how it is." Ocelot said to the slithering river.  
Snake looked back down again, "I feel like I should say something."  
"Why?" he lowered his arm and raised his eyebrows. Snake didn't answer and Ocelot gazed sadly at him. "I don't mind if you don't want to talk now, I miss when you did want to, but I understand." His gaze immediately caught the startled blue eye that looked up at him. "I miss a lot of the old days."  
"The old days?"  
"Not that they were all good or anything... I just spend so much time looking back, it's inevitable I'd miss some of it. Oh dear, I guess I really am an old man."  
"Looking back... At what?"  
"Us. Them. Everything. What can I say, John? I miss who you were, who I was, the world was a dark and scary place, you were the only thing that made sense in a time where I was constantly in hiding, one way or another…"  
Snake grunted. "I remember... The names, the changing uniforms, did you ever have real paperwork? Or a real name?"  
  
"I also remember…” He scowled. “I was walking you back to your apartment one year, there was snow and you wouldn't get within two foot of me, 'just in case' you said... Always hiding."  
This time Ocelot didn't laugh. "You know how it was.”  
“Yeah… Yeah I know. I wasn’t…” He sighed. “I didn’t know what I wanted, wouldn’t have asked you to put yourself out there.”  
“That's what scared me the most you know. I felt so transparent when I was with you. 'Removed from society', that's what they said should happen to people like me, only you never cared. I mean! You never made me afraid." Ocelot looked pained. "Ever. I think that’s what drew me to you in the first place, I was only afraid of you once, and you...” He smiled fleetingly. “You know, when I left Diamond Dogs and joined the KGB, I had to break up rallies I should have been supporting..." He swallowed and John slowly got to his feet and came up to stand at his side. "I missed Diamond Dogs the most then, and your—Venom's—leadership. I missed those days. Feeling safe, confident, knowing who I was and who I fought for and that that was accepted, I was accepted.”  
"Well," he grunted. "We're a step closer to getting it all back."  
"You don't sound pleased either…"  
"Either?"  
Ocelot shrugged. "Don't you want this?"  
  
"Back then, under Venom, it was really that much better?"  
"That's not—"  
"Even if it wasn't really me?"  
He looked around wide eyed. "It was you though, for you!" He hesitated at the sceptical look on Snake's face. "Okay, maybe I did enjoy working under Venom, he was a part of you, but a made up sculpted part, I could pretend everything was okay for a time, when I didn't have to deal with…"  
"Me."  
"With the problems that came with you. But it was always for you! And I always wanted to go back to you. The two Big Bosses didn't really compare, not when you got right down to it."  
"Was I really that hard to deal with back then?"  
"At times. You were so cold and hard. Even when you were beside me it felt like you were far away and it hurt to see you like that, not knowing if anything I was doing was helping. Did it? Am I helping now?"  
"XOF would have found me if it wasn't for you. And now? Of course you are, I'd have rusted away if it wasn't for you."  
"That's not what I mean."  
  
They stared at each other, slowly Snake nodded. "I never forgot the hospital, the flowers, you. Did you?"  
"How could I?”  
“You were supposed to forget me. That was the plan.”  
“I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”  
“Ocelot—”  
“I couldn’t ever forget you. I'm so glad to have you back."  
"I'm... Glad to have you. Still.”  
“You didn’t answer my question.”  
Snake grunted.  
“Is this what you want?”  
“I don’t know what I want.”  
Ocelot’s face fell. “Boss, if you want me to do something else—”  
“No. No I think this is good. You have so many ideas, things that… That really help the people I originally wanted to help. I think, I think I want to try and get better. Then I can start pulling my weight around here.”  
“Boss...”  
  
Snake coughed. “So ah... Sunny doesn't like me, is that going to be a problem?"  
"Sunny... Wants what she thinks is best for me."  
"Best for you eh? And that's not me?"  
"Even I know that's not you."  
Snake laughed dryly. "Will she give us trouble do you think?"  
"She'll get us through to securing the base, after that I don't know, I know she won't want to give up on me, but this might be the final straw for her. I expected her to give up when I came for you. She's a tough one, and she's doing well. But she won’t bend forever, and ah… I don't want this life for her."  
Snake looked surprised. "For her? You used to accept recruits wherever we could get them, so long as they were the best."  
Ocelot cast his eyes downwards. "Not her, John. Not this one. Whatever happens, you let her be, she can make her own choices, you and I damn enough good people to hell as it is."  
"We give them another choice!"  
"We make them soldiers, and give them a battlefield to live and die on."  
"Ocelot—"  
"I still believe us and people like us have a place in the world, and that Mother Base can rise again as strong as ever. We were content then and I believe, I really do, that we made a difference, if only to the individuals who came along with us. Remember? Gender, race, sexuality? None of it mattered to you, just the soldiers and giving them a place to belong. That mattered to a lot of people. But don't dress it up, we were dogs of war, and we always will be, it doesn't matter what drives us, or why we choose the fights we do, whether it's the ideology or the money or the fight itself, in the end it's always the same, they shout and we come running, guns in hand. You said so yourself: we're all headed for hell. But we don’t have to make our home in it, that’s what needs to change."  
  
Snake stared at his friend then found himself nodding. "You're right of course, you always are."  
"Maybe I can be right about something else then…"  
"Something else?"  
"I don't want Sunny throwing away her future for us demons, but I did learn something in my time with Diamond Dogs: we work best in a triad. Miller was unstable and introduced dissent into the troops, but he and I were often most productive when we could challenge each other and Venom could benefit from that. Outer Heaven and Zanzibar were cold soulless places in comparison to Mother Base and MSF—" Snake winced "—and I had Naomi to support and criticize me when I was constructing Outer Haven, but I missed having that third input, that sense of balance, the tie breaker. Sunny isn't afraid to oppose me if she thinks I'm wrong, EVA and Naomi were the same and I value that in a comrade. If you want me, they're the kind of person I want to have at my side."  
"So what are you thinking?"  
"If she stays, we don't just leave her with the rest of the troops."  
"No worries there, it's obvious she's worth more than that to you."  
"Good. I'd like to see her in Research and Development, but she'd be valuable to Intel as well, she's no soldier just yet and I think the one thing she, her uncle and I can all agree on is that we'd rather see it stay that way."  
“What about a pilot?”  
Ocelot hesitated. “I have no idea if I can function fully without her. If I can’t and she doesn’t want to keep working with me then we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”  
  
They stood side by side, watching the sun play off the dirty water in silence for a while, before finally Snake said: "She's no Kaz."  
"And she never will be, but that's not a bad thing."  
"We'll need to re-think our leadership techniques being like... This…"  
"Would a smaller model suit you better?"  
"The King Ray isn't so bad but... Yes."  
Ocelot nodded. "I'm glad you're getting used to it, I was concerned it was frustrating you."  
He grumbled under his breath. "Ngh, it's not that I'm getting used to the body, it's other people."  
Ocelot looked around blinking curiously.

"They see a machine, not a man, a thing, an it, not a 'he'." He took a deep breath and crossed his arms firmly. "I know you won't go spreading this about, Ocelot. I just prefer people seeing me with that kind of neutrality. Feels right."  
"'It'?"  
He scowled. "Mentioned it to Kaz once, told me I needed to stop thinking of myself as a weapon, but it's not just that, maybe 'it' isn't quite right.” He muttered, seeing Ocelot’s expression. “I know you think I… I need to stop thinking of myself as a concept. I know you’re right, it’s...” he trailed off.  
“I think you’re just trying to avoid the pain the man is in, by being an idea.”  
“Yeah. Sounds about right. I’m not an ‘it’ I know I’m not, not the right word, but neither is 'he'." Snake huffed and looked quickly about for his cigar, Ocelot stilled the old soldier's nervous hands and whisked a cigar from the digital ether with a flick of his hand, Snake took it and the offered light gratefully.  
"Whatever you prefer, Boss. Neutral sounds about right for you somehow."  
"As I said—"  
"I won't say a word if you don't want me too." Ocelot watched the flames gleam in Snake's eye as he lit the cigar and waited as they took a deep and calming drag of the smoke.  
“Whatever makes things better for you.”  
"Thank you. I appreciate you looking out for me. Sunny… Ah… She said I should… Tell you that more.”  
“She did?”  
“Yeah, she’s right, I don’t thank you enough. Ocelot? I’m… I’m sorry. I’m so tired."  
“I know.”


	59. Surveillance

" _You don’t always win your battles, but it’s good to know you fought._ "

\--

Lauren Bacall

  


Mr Lewis stood at his paper strewn desk, clammy hands planted firmly on the laminate top and sandy eyes roving endlessly over the reports and satellite images that had been printed out. His phone had been ringing off the hook all morning, so he'd unplugged it in a rage. Since then no one had come to his office. The reports showed the massive if rather indistinct shape of the salvaged King Ray dragging its bulk out of an open mine in South America, then heading down and towards the east coast. That had been three days ago. It might be lumbering and awkward on land, but that was still more than enough time for it to have reached the sea, and from there... Where? Alongside the King Ray was the smaller shape of the Wildcat, and yet despite its nimbler body it had remained trailing behind the King Ray, matching its speed the whole time. Some of the closer shots showed small indistinct shapes around the legs of the two Metal Gear, but they were boxy and merged with the background and Mr Lewis was not an expert at reading these images and really couldn't be sure what he was looking at, but he knew what he was afraid off.  
  
A hesitant knock on the door snapped him out of his obsessive consumption of the reports and he looked up at the worried face peaking through the narrow space between the door and frame.  
"Sir? We're—"  
"I know I know!" He snapped. "Tell them it's a training exercise. The local PMCs wanted the King Ray out, we wanted it back, we coupled the retrieval with a training exercise."  
"Tell them we’re working with the PMCs? But they know—"  
He slammed his palms down on the table and the young woman retreated quickly.  
  
It wasn't just BBR's higher ups that had been demanding answers, the King Ray had been picked up by military satellites too, and now it seemed everyone was breathing down their necks. In the mind of the young woman, it would make a lot more sense to just tell them what was going on, get the Metal Gear destroyed, properly this time, and the Wildcat along with it. Of course, that was easier said than done. Any move across the boarder could be seen as aggressive. She knew El Salvador and Honduras both had dealings with BBR in keeping erratic terrorist forces under control as they spilled over from Mexico, and Mexico only put up with their comings and goings some of the time. That was a hot spot for nervous PMCs, small and eager, waiting for their next job, they liked to pick fights with anyone who came too close.  
  
A bombing run on two Metal Gear being escorted, presumably, by one of the larger forces operating in the region, would only end in conflict. Recently the skirmishes along the boarder had all been small affairs: private forces here or there at each others throats, a couple of small PMCs banding together for added force looking to get their hands on some artillery or weaponry. Anything that could raise the King Ray from its death throes however was a threat to be considered very carefully. While the forces on the satellite images seemed of a moderate size, there must be more they weren't seeing, more funds, more support, more infrastructure. A power that no one had guessed was hiding out there, a power now in the hands of very much the wrong sort of person. All eyes were on these two war machines, the smaller countries they had to pass through on their way north seemed leery and were claiming no previous knowledge of this affair, they just wanted them off their land and, apparently, had been given assurance that they were indeed only passing through. No one who knew about this doubted money had been greasing plams and border crossings.  
  
There were almost certainly forces in South America looking hungrily at the two Metal Gear. Either one of the two would be a boon to whatever force could get and control it. Of course, simply taking control of two Metal Gear was no simple task on its own, and this time made even more difficult by the very nature of these machines, that they seemed to have their own entourage only complicated matters, not just for willing thieves, but for BBR.  
  
As for the US forces, they were watching very closely, but the comparative peace that BBR had helped maintain in the south, wasn’t something anyone wanted to see fall back into the all out war that had erupted after the affairs of 2014, when anyone and everyone made a grab for territory and people tried to reap what they could from the crumbling war economy.  
  
Yes, a part of Mr Lewis' mind told him to just write off the machines, the Wildcat would be no great loss as a prototype, with the new models already in production, the King Ray had technically already been written off. Let the army wipe them off the map! But that could antagonise the already unstable political climate, these unknown forces might retaliate more strongly than previously expected, but the deal... Yes. No matter how powerful these people were as soldiers, BBR had better resources, better personnel, better connections as a company. The King Ray and the Wildcat needed to work with them or their days were numbered and they made an enemy they couldn't hope to out match. Let Ocelot bring the King Ray back here, let him think their deal was extant. If they could even make it back.  
  
Mr Lewis sunk back into his chair and closed his aching eyes tightly to try and wipe away the gritty feeling plaguing him. Only the King Ray was capable of taking to the water, the Wildcat would have to remain on land. A sudden image of the eccentric creature balancing on top of the King Ray flitted across his mind's eye. He frowned, that wasn't actually possible was it? A violent shake of his head set off fireworks inside his skull and he groped around for an aspirin in the top drawer of his desk. All he could do was keep an eye on their movements. Would Ocelot actually try to follow through on their deal and bring the King Ray back here in exchange for safety? Or was he moving to a better position, a new place to dig in his heels and push back against the people who’d tried to destroy him. Cracking open one tired eye, Mr Lewis squinted out the window at the new Wildcat standing neatly and still as a rock on the apron, the minor damage incurred by the old prototype had been repaired quickly enough and now its dark armour glistened almost good as new. Would Ocelot run away from his FoxHound commander? Or face up to the vengeance he'd brought down onto his own head? Mr Lewis had no doubts over Ocelot's cowardice, he would hide behind anything and anyone if it would save his sorry hide. Sunny, case in point, was another matter entirely however. Sunny had been brave enough, foolish enough, to associate with the turncoat and defend him right from the start. Her uncle was here and yet she... Her uncle... Mr Lewis sat up sharply and a mad grin appeared on his haggard face. Maybe there was yet still a way to make Ocelot pay.  
  
Back in the offices the official story was being disseminated, but so too was the rumour mill grinding. The rumours danced ahead of Mr Lewis' truth. The smokers on break absorbed stories from the offices, in the hangars the technicians grouped together in bunches and talked in rapid voices, giving each other raised eyebrow looks of conspiracy. No one noticed the security guard at the front gate put out his cigarette with the heel of his boot and with a pale face decide his new job wasn't worth risking his young family for, and slip away home.  
  
Shortly after lunch Mr Lewis was seen coming out to check on the Wildcat. The story changed from telling to telling, that Mr Lewis had gone running back to his office, that he'd gotten into the cockpit, that he was in the hangar manager's office, that the Metal Gear had turned pure white, red, gold when he'd attempted to approach it. Some said they'd heard it snarl, others said that it hadn't done anything at all, it wasn't like the old Silver Wildcat had been. The only thing that was certain was that no one was working on or near the evil looking machine, its powerful neck like a solid copper arch brought its wedge shaped beak close to the ground and the hooked mouth full of gripping fangs seemed to grin hungrily at the people on base. It had the aura of a snorting bull ready to charge, and with the quiet hum of the GPUs powering it and its AI pod, no one had to imagine the cloud of hot air being pumped out of its vents like steaming breath. It was still, unmoving, its body outside of its AI's control. It seemed to seethe.  
  
\---  
  
In the rafters of the hangars a shadowy figure crouched, violet eyes flickering over the small nervous gatherings below it and listening intently to the conversations flittering about.  
"So..." he murmured to himself. "They are on their way back?"  
  
Jack climbed up to the hole in the awnings and up onto the roof where he could stare down at the new Wildcat and the base. He tried to get inside of his new strange ally’s head. Ocelot was not a man Jack cared to try to understand usually. In his mind the old interrogator simply worked whichever job seemed to cause the most pain to others, in his quest, ruled by his own strange laws, to bring mayhem into the world. Big Boss seemed more of an excuse than an honest reason to be doing any of that. He trusted Sunny though, the two of them went further back than anyone else she knew. If she had a reason to remain at Ocelot's side, then who was he to question it, he'd not been the one working with Ocelot this whole time, seeing what he saw, hearing what he heard. Jack's gaze scanned over the tall walls of the base, the Metal Gear, the people. He couldn’t believe Ocelot was coming back for any lofty cause however and while he might not agree with BBR's actions, the only problems he was seeing were being caused by Ocelot's presence. Without him this place would go on as normal. The new Wildcat's AI wouldn't survive the week. And yet... He was returning, to people who sought to destroy him, and Big Boss, who he was bringing along with him.  
"Why risk it?" Jack crouched down out of sight behind an air vent. "Do you need these people? They won't help you. Unless…" He narrowed his eyes. “Unless you really _are_ going to try to take over this place?  
  
Hal had his theories on what was about to happen, and he'd found and shared as much with Rose and Jack as he could. Standing above the base now, Jack was starting to agree with his old friend. The base here could offer a new start for the old soldiers, it came pre-packaged with a work force, if they could be persuaded to remain. The new Black Wildcat and Mr Lewis could be removed. There was equipment and even Metal Gear. In 1995 TX-55—the old clanking throwback to the early Metal Gears of the 70s and 80s with their ingenious creators, a slow awkward machine that hadn't seen battle before Solid Snake had successfully destroyed it with simple plastic explosives—had been considered enough of a threat to go to war with Outer Heaven over. Now in this one small base alone there was a small platoon of RAY, REX and Jackal, not to mention the smaller GEKKO that crawled the grounds, any of which would be more than a match for TX-55 had it still existed.  
  
BBR was supported by the US government through its various contracts, and while not technically fitting the description of a PMC, it wasn’t far off. It was doubtful the seeds of a new mercenary company being sown nearby would be accepted, let alone one forcing its way into this base and pushing out the previous occupants. Big Boss with just one nuclear armed Metal Gear had been enough to paralyse the world in fear, and it had lead to multiple attempts on his life. What could he do with his army kitted out and supported by these far more advanced machines? What would the world do to remove him? There was no nuclear weapon hiding on the base as far as Hal knew and as far as Jack could tell, but there were still examples out there. Any one of these REX could be set up to fire one. A cold chill ran down Jack's cybernetic spine. They were walking a dangerous path, and if they missed their opportunity to rid the world of Big Boss for good, and his erstwhile companion while they were at it, they could easily make him unstoppable, with the remains of BBR the next Outer Heaven. Hal was right to be suspicious of Ocelot's motives in keeping Sunny close to him, a Metal Gear with a human shield. Jack's eyes narrowed. Below his feet a scattering of employees shouldered their backpacks and headed for the car park.  
  
\---  
  
"Oh, Jack! Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine, Rose." He gratefully let her wrap her arms around him as he trudged back into the house. "I think age is slowing me down."  
Hal gave him a half smile as his old friend sat down carefully on the couch beside him. "What's the news?"  
"I think that Mr Lewis guy is having a breakdown."  
"Oh?"  
"He's pretending everything is just fine, that BBR is behind the Wildcat going south." He paused but no one seemed to appreciate the joke so he continued. "Everyone knows it ran away though. He's not admitting anything out right, but he's aware they're heading away from where they'd been holding up, looks like they really are coming home. Rumour has it Ocelot is on the war path and the new Wildcat and BBR are his targets, a few people were leaving while I was there."  
"Just walking out?" Rose asked in surprise.  
"Can you blame them?"  
"Well no, but to run away based on a rumour, they must be really scared?"  
"I think they're expecting the two Wildcats to flatten the place after their last encounter. I'm not sure they're even aware of the King Ray. Hal, is the King Ray all it's said to be?"  
  
"I don't know how well armed it is, but in theory yes, it's a subsidiary of the Arsenal Gear family, far larger than a normal Metal Gear, built to take and give a lot of damage."  
"Does it have the Arsenal Gear's weaknesses?"  
"Not to the same extent, the King Ray is small enough to defend itself, though ideally it would have a group of accompanying RAY. Ocelot and Big Boss intend to play to this, the King Ray is going to stay back out of the way, long range attacks only... Hopefully it won't be required at all."  
Rose pressed her hands together. "Hopefully... Hopefully no one will be caught up in this."  
"They won't stand much of a chance if they are." Jack said shortly. "Not if Otselotovaya Khvatka are involved too. You know I almost find it hard to believe they've survived this long, they really take after their namesake."  
"With all the smaller military forces in the world, it doesn't surprise me they went undetected, they were well equipped to start with so it's not a surprise that some of them survived the SOP effect, and kept going."  
"I talked to a number of Outer Haven troops in the years after SOP," Rose said softly. "That any of them would return to that life willingly after what had been done to their mental state—"  
"Don't forget, Rose," Hal said quickly. "A lot of these soldiers are the next generation, the original survivors may not have been many in number, but they've built up their ranks since then."  
"Most of these soldiers won't even really appreciate who they've gotten involved with," Jack said bitterly. "Some will only know about Outer Heaven from books and TV documentaries."  
Rose looked up. "You don't think Ocelot would just... Take advantage of them do you?"  
"And keep them in the dark? You know what he did to his own soldiers before."  
  
Hal frowned. "That was Liquid Ocelot... I don't know what this Ocelot will do." The other two looked up at him curiously. "His motivations are a mystery to me, but we know Liquid Ocelot had no intention of building an empire, using his own people as test subjects wasn't an obstacle for him, this incarnation of Ocelot needs support, and a lot of it. They don't have the luxury of being able to take on alibis and setting up PMCs undercover this time around."  
"Go big or go home."  
  
Rose stood up and moved to the window, looking out towards the base as if she could see the approaching danger.  
"Rose?" She looked back at Hal. "I'm sorry for involving you and Jack."  
"No, it's okay, I wouldn't expect you to handle this alone."  
"Actually Hal, I wish you'd called us in earlier, you're putting yourself—"  
"I know, I know, but if we can't stop this then it won't matter anyway. A few messages sent to a PMC are going to pale in comparison to helping Big Boss return to power."  
"You're hoping that they'll overlook what you've done if you help take them down?"  
"I'm just hoping Sunny gets out of this okay." He buried his face in his hands. "I should never have let it get this far."   
  
\---  
  
"Hal?"  
"Hey, Rose…"  
"Shouldn't you be getting some rest?"  
"I couldn't sleep, thought I'd check through my preparations. You're not sleeping?"  
"No, I was thinking about Roy. I wish I could talk to him about all this, been thinking about him a lot recently." She tugged her robe closer.  
Hal nodded. "Yeah, all those old memories have been stirred up, good and bad."  
"So... Ready to go?"  
"Huh? Oh, uh huh. And Jack's opened the route up to the communications tower, if my way doesn't work, he's going in to take it out manually."  
Rose smiled. "I didn't even realise he still had that old sword."  
"What was his excuse?"  
"In case of burglars."  
Hal chuckled. "No alarm?"  
"Oh, that's Jack too."  
"Maybe you and Sunny are on to something."  
"I hope you're not comparing Jack to Ocelot?"  
"No, that wouldn't be fair to Jack."  
  
She sat down beside him and tugged her dressing gown closer about her. "I've been wanting to ask you something."  
"Oh? What is it?"  
"Sunny has been pretty firm about supporting Ocelot, hasn't she?"  
"Unfortunately."  
"She really thinks he can be helped?"  
"I don't know, maybe? Yes?"  
"Well if she does, if she really believes it, then I want to offer my help."  
"No! You don't want to get involved with him!"  
"I think it's too late for that, don't you? You've filled us in on what's been happening, and even you have to admit he's not let Sunny down."  
"Except for bringing Big Boss back, and that's a pretty big exception. He uses people to get what he wants, and that's what he wanted! I find it easier to accept that he knows I'll hesitate to support an assault against him if Sunny is in the way."  
"And yet, she's still with him? If he wanted to be done with her he's had the opportunity to replace her, if he was simply using her do you think he'd be able to trick her for long? I know Sunny, if it was just a case of hiding behind her, I think she’d have noticed. Don’t you?"  
"You give him too much credit, Rose, if he's not replaced Sunny it's because he feels he still needs her, and Sunny... she's still only young, he's tricked far more experienced people. And her background? Raiden, Snake? She’s been set up to give him he benefit of the doubt."  
  
Rose cast her eyes down and was silent for a while. "But if he accepted my offer of help...?"  
Hal sighed. "Then I can't stop you, but be careful. I'd rather you helped Sunny if you're that set on it."  
"Maybe if I can get through to one of them…"  
"Huh?"  
"Do you think Big Boss listens to Ocelot?"  
"I have no idea, I know nothing about him as a person. Ocelot's probably too much of a sycophant to speak up to him, if you're hoping he'll temper Big Boss' aggression."  
"Worth a try if we can't stop them though."  
"Mn, maybe."  
"And if not, I'll try to talk some sense into Sunny." She smiled.  
"Thank you, Rose."


	60. Nomads

" _He didn't come out of my belly, but my God, I've made his bones, because I've attended to every meal, and how he sleeps, and the fact that he swims like a fish because I took him to the ocean. I'm so proud of all those things. But he is my biggest pride._ "

\--

John Lennon

  


The sun glittered blindingly off the choppy waves that beat around the chest and thighs of the King Ray, which wallowed in the water not far off from where the earth fell away into the deeps. A sheen of water still coated its armour in liquid gold from where it had previously been submerged. Over head curious sea birds circled. Technicians were waving the Arsenal Gear back to shore. Away from the cove the Wildcat was still stood half in the tree line, half out in the sun. The last of the trucks and tents were being covered in camouflage and those not currently employed in that work were standing around underneath the Metal Gear to keep out of sight.  
  
They had arrived the night before and under the brilliant gaze of the Wildcat and the King Ray's own lights the far more conspicuous pale tents of the technical crew were set up and stocked with their equipment. Hopefully from above it would look like a simple support crew for the King Ray's tests. A disguise for the soldiers.  
  
Sunny mumbled and shifted awkwardly in her seat. In response to her fumbling the Wildcat took a step forwards and the soldiers scattered for safety. "Sorry!" Sunny called over the intercom while Ocelot chuckled.  
_Getting stiff?  
_ "Yeah. Are they nearly done?"  
_Soon I should think._  
Sunny stretched and the Wildcat shook its head in discomfort.  
_How many buttons of mine do you intend to punch?_  
"Look," she said. "We're getting waved off."  
  
She wheeled him about and they prowled away from the camp. The King Ray lifted its head to watch them as Sunny picked out a likely spot where the coastline curved up around the bay and climbed up. Ocelot grumbled his approval at the lookout point and scraped his claws through the loose soil until they snagged up against rock.  
  
_Doing well don't you think?_  
"With the tests?" She popped the canopy and climbed up onto the edge. Looking down at the Arsenal Gear slowly wading back to shore where a crew were getting ready to repair another wayward leak.  
_What else?_  
"I don't know. You spend more time talking to him than me these days."  
_I don’t think that’s true… But yes; as a whole things are looking up. Only time will tell of course. I believe we'll be able to keep on the right side of things. Stick to the straight and narrow and all that.  
_ "Huh. All that, after taking BBR'S base for yourself? What are you talking about?"  
_No nukes._ _S_ _nake still sees them as the ultimate acquisition in arsenal, but I'm being firm about this,_ _besides there are better options these days, so i_ _f we get any at all it'll be in the manner of Diamond Dogs._  
"Oh?"  
_Disarming. We were in the business of disarming and dismantling them._  
"Huh."  
_See? Not so bad. It was only when we merged with Outer Heaven that the idea of using nukes for deterrence came back onto the table.  
  
_ As the King Ray finally backed into the sea until the water rose about its chest Ocelot rumbled and spoke up quickly before he could be cut off.  
_Sunny? I've been wanting to tell you something._  
"Oh...?"  
_Nothing bad. I just wanted you to know, if you wanted to remain with us, presuming this all goes well, then you have a place. You would be an invaluable member to our R &D group. Hell knows we need more than a bunch of old men coming up with ideas._ He chuckled dryly. _But I know you're not particularly happy with the situation as a whole.  
_ "I'd... Need to think about it."  
_Really? I mean... That's good. I thought you'd say no_ _straight_ _off. If you don't stay then of course we'd be happy to help in any way we can, we repay our debts, and we are very much in your de_ _b_ _t. Relocation, an alibi, whatever you need.  
_ "Thank you. I mean it, thank you very much. We may very well need to take you up on that offer. If it comes to that. Does Snake agree with this?"  
_Yes, he agrees.  
  
_ The water rushed in over the head and back of the King Ray and a moment later its wings slipped under the disturbed surface of the sea. The Wildcat stood up and stood precariously close to the edge until Sunny pulled it back, afraid of the cliff face crumbling under their weight. Yet even away from the edge the monstrous shadow of the King Ray could be seen under the water, its crocodilian tail propelling it through the shallows with great deceptively slow sweeps of its length. On the beach the technicians waited nervously for the machine to come rushing back to shore with yet another leak, and had backed up from the water’s edge in preparation. The King Ray however found itself sound and Snake, after gingerly scanning their new body repeatedly for signs of new water ingress, inclined downwards and slipped into deeper water, sand gave way to rock and the blue of the upper water levels turned dark and tinted wine bottle green.  
  
Ocelot chuckled as the shadow almost faded out of sight and became a vague blurry darkness against the deeps. He took the reigns and turned to follow the shadow around the coast.  
"He's pushing his luck."  
_He was always like that. Made me wonder how he survived sometimes.  
_ "You two are a lot alike then?"  
_I would have considered myself more conservative in battle than he._  
Sunny laughed.  
_What?_ He leapt down onto a rough natural path of sandy dirt and trotted along to keep pace with the aquatic Arsenal Gear.  
"I'm just trying to imagine you being conservative in any walk of life."  
  
Ahead of them the King Ray's head burst through the water, followed a second later by the large wings on its back. The powerful water cutter shot out of its gaping mouth skywards until it dissipated into vapour and fell like rain back to the ocean under its own rainbow.  
  
If Ocelot had been about to respond to Sunny he was distracted as the King Ray dropped down, the bow wave rising around its jaws in frosty foam, before it swallowed up its head and the Arsenal Gear vanished again under the ocean.  
"Is he very independent?" Sunny asked suddenly. "I don't know why but I always thought he'd have been a lot like Solid Snake, he always liked to know he had reliable back up, would talk to Hal about anything…"  
_I can imagine it was a great relief to him._ Ocelot said wistfully. _Boss_ _... Tends to be more independent at the worst possible times.  
_ "That doesn't surprise me…"  
_Nor should it. I don't like to distrust my friend, but until I can be sure of Snake's mindset, please Sunny, help me keep the old sod on the right path._ The Wildcat jumped down onto the pale beach and sat patiently waiting for its comrade to return to the surface world. Sunny watched the light glitter off the waves, from here it was impossible to tell that a leviathan was hidden not so far from them.  
  
_It would of course, be best if that was kept between us.  
_ "Wouldn't do to let Big Boss know you were spying on him?" She said dryly.  
_I've always spied on him, was asked to._  
"By?"  
_Him!_ He said in surprise. _Who else? Who else's request would I honour? Paranoid, surrounded by potential traitors, of course I was asked to watch over things from an outside perspective. As much as I could anyway.  
_ Sunny glanced up at the ghostly figure at her side and immediately looked down at her knees.  
"He's... lucky to have you, Ocelot."  
_Many would not agree.  
_ "Don't prove them right, Ocelot."  
_What do you mean?  
_ She said softly: "Don't let him rule you, he's not your commander, he's your friend, if he respects that he'll listen to you and he won't force you to obey him until your world burns again."  
Ocelot remained silent waiting for her to continue.  
"I'm not..." she raised her hand to her head. "I'm not explaining myself well."  
_No. But_ _I understand._ She looked up past her hand and he nodded solemnly. _I do. You're right, I have been preoccupied in keeping Snake alive for the short term, getting_ _and doing_ _what_ _he_ _asked of me, and not doing what was best for either of us in the long run. Your uncle understood that, he was there for Solid Snake in a way I could not be for his father._ He chuckled. _Until you leave us,_ _let me know when I’m slipping? B_ _e my keeper?  
_ "Aren't I already?"  
_With a different purpose.  
_ "I'll do what I can."  
_Thank you. I'm sure by now you're aware of how much I love the legend of Big Boss, but_ _the person,_ _from before the legend had even come into being,_ _was so much more.  
  
_ "You want to do what's best for him, I know."  
_Always. I'm just not any good at it. That's why I need you._ His eyebrows knotted, and she struggled. _Decades of death and violence were the legacy of this man's love and dedication, how could it have been anything else with all he knew, and didn't.  
_ "Ocelot, I said I'll help, while I can."  
_Thank you, Sunshine. You know, Outer Heaven, Zanzibar, they were harsh places, but you would have liked their sister bases, I never saw_ _too much of_ _MSF's mother base myself, but I had the pleasure of listening to some recordings and watching some 'home videos' of the old place before it_ _—_ _well. It seemed like a place with a lot of life, I wish I had been there. If just to hear Miller singing in person._ He laughed.  
  
"Master Miller?"  
_The one and the same._  
"He sang? Was he good?"  
_Terrible! But Paz sung beautifully.  
_ "Paz? Who was that?"  
_Their 'Angel of Peace', and she certainly looked the part. She told them she wanted a world without war, bloodshed or violence, and it was in her name the Kazuhira Miller talked Big Boss into taking a certain contract. Ultimately to bring an end to a nuclear threat.  
_ "What happened to her?"  
_She was a traitor.  
_ Sunny sighed. "I probably should have guessed that."  
_The Angel of Peace stole an early Metal Gear and attacked the base. She was believed to have died, but was found and 'rescued'. Imprisoned, tortured, eventually used in a plot to try to kill Big Boss._ He smiled painfully. _Poor girl got her peace in the end after all.  
  
_ "Big Boss killed her?"  
_No.._. He shook his head. _But that's another story entirely. It took_ _its_ _tol_ _l_ _on Miller though, all the celebrations and family of MSF seemed to break down along with the base's commander, by the time Diamond Dogs rose up out of the ashes of its predecessor..._ He trailed off.  
"You've told me quite a lot about Diamond Dogs. Seems like it was a place very... Divided."  
_Yes. The base was united under Big Boss_ _—_ _Venom—but with him off base so often the men came under Miller's jurisdiction, and mine._ _W_ _e disagreed on most things. Not that I hold it against him, he was angry, wanted someone to blame for his pain and pointed the finger at anyone he could. But don't most people want someone to blame?_  
"Probably yeah."  
_He sucked the life out of the place, stopped it from becoming the close family it needed to be. It wasn't all bad though, I enjoyed my time there for the most part. Made some good acquaintances, but it seems all the memories I have of the place are tainted somehow.  
  
_ Sunny mirrored his frown as a not unfamiliar look of grief passed over his face.  
_I was subordinate to Kaz, he to Venom. But Venom's implanted memories confused him, I'd told him to listen to Kaz, before I fully understood how unbalanced the man was. I think his own mind tended to listen to me, and what resulted was a man unable to think clearly for himself. It wasn't often his own thoughts came through, it seemed as if he just agreed with whomever spoke last.  
_ "Frustrating." Sunny's eyes fell on the Wildcat's radar and watched a sizeable object coming towards them.  
_Very... You asked me who gave me that gun?  
  
_ Her eyes darted to the file case under the dashboard where she'd put the old bone grip Makarov to keep it safe. "Yes?"  
_It was brought onto the base with a Soviet officer and was added to the armoury. I didn't really think anything off it until I found it in my quarters one day, with that engraving._ _Venom had the memories of…_ He coughed. _Snake when he knew a younger me—  
_ “You mean that time you ran out of bullets and Snake told you off for having a pretty gun instead of a useful one?” _  
Damn it Sunny, what else do you know?  
_ She shrugged. “Bits and pieces. So? Who put it in your room?”  
Ocelot remained silent for some time and Sunny got flashes of images, familiar ones of Tselinoyarsk, Snake grinning evily up at Ocelot as he desperately tried to find a bullet that wasn’t there. Less familiar ones, blinding sunlight off the sea, a strong hand on his wrist… Ocelot spoke, Sunny jumped.  
  
_Miller despised her,_ _Quiet that is. I believe he_ _saw the ghost of Paz in her._ _He_ _couldn't ever trust her and turned the men against her too. Poor thing could never do enough, the whole time she was with us she was a prisoner, my prisoner, I conducted her interrogations too._ _At least, I was supposed to._ _I managed to talk Venom into taking her on missions with him and she was brilliant, out did all my expectations, which were high! It still wasn't enough. I think I was the only one who used to spend time with her, just because I could..._ He trailed off.  
"Must have been confusing." Sunny prompted.  
_Hmn?  
_ "For both of you. One moment you're chatting like friends and the next you're interrogating her?"  
His shoulders slumped. _I was always against it. Pointless I said, and it was! I don't blame her for leaving, not at all.  
_ "I don't think she blamed you though."  
_Why?  
_ "Well, I’m guessing you brought her up because she left you the gun right?”  
_Right…_  
“Do you think she'd have left that gun, with that inscription if she disliked you? Was that her only message?"  
_No..._ He paused. _She left a message for Venom.  
_ "Not you?"  
_Mn…  
  
_ She gestured towards the gun's hiding place. "Well, maybe she thought this was all the message you needed."  
He raised his hands and the ghost of the weapon appeared in his grasp. _Thanks for listening? But it doesn't make sense.  
_ "Why not?"  
_She was mute.  
_ Sunny laughed.  
_What!?  
_ "Don't be so literal!" He looked taken aback. "There's more than one way to listen to someone! Whatever you did, she appreciated it."  
Ocelot turned the gun around in his hand, caressing it tenderly. _Eh._ _Maybe.  
  
_ Sunny looked around as the surface of the ocean burst open and the King Ray's approaching form bared down on them.  
"Maybe?"  
The Wildcat stepped back, then overcoming his nerves in the face of the massive weapon system, prowled towards the on coming leviathan.  
_Maybe she didn't feel like I'd let her down?_ He hazarded.  
Sunny shrugged. "Certainly implies it. Why, you thought you had?"  
Ocelot turned a hopeful lopsided smile on her. _I always thought I'd let Naomi down too, did I?  
_ "What? Naomi? Of course not, she might have had to play Liquid Ocelot to stop him from destroying everything and everyone but, no, you and her succeeded."  
A sly glint appeared in his eye, as if trying to catch her out: _But she still died…  
_ "Ocelot, she had cancer... What were you supposed to do?" She blinked in confusion. His smile softened and he vanished with a sigh. The Wildcat jolted forwards to meet the King Ray.  
  
\---  
  
Big Boss stood over him, one clear blue eye burning from behind their salt water sodden fringe, their war torn skin lined with scars and stories and shining wet.  
“John..." Ocelot mused, tilting his head to one side. "Snake, Saladin...Vic..." Ocelot reached up to brush water droplets off the smooth surface of the demon's horns. He looked at the darker patch on his gloves then looked up with a sly smile. "Even a little bit of Venom." Big Boss, whole and complete, ready to depart on his newest mission, grinned.  
"Ready when you are, Boss."  
  
\---  
  
The King Ray's world was muted and hazy, particles turned the clear water misty and turned the water scape into a terrain entirely new to it. Snake was vaguely aware that they hadn't been tested in the ocean before the fires in their head had ignited, but only a large tank of a hangar that had been claustrophobic and prison-like. This was different entirely. This felt… Dare they say it? Good? The King Ray, their new body, felt agile and natural in this environment.  
  
It tucked in its chest, the propulsion system on its breast pulled it down deeper, its tail snaking through the water aided it, but wasn't necessary in this situation. The sea floor rose up to meet it and with a deft kick the massive machine lifted up and skimmed through the deep silt. Fish, all of which seemed tiny to Snake, darted out of the way or were swept up spinning in the King Ray's wake. On its left there was a shear rock wall, and on its right the undulating sea floor stretched out into the wine bottle gloom, littered with rocks and weeds and various unidentified objects.  
And something that moved.  
  
The King Ray slowed, moving forwards only under the power of its tail now. Its boat sized head swung through the water leaving unseen vortices to join in the natural currents. Yes, sure enough there was something shooting through the water towards it. The small dark shape slid smoothly under the King Ray and swam up until it was level with its giant cousin's head. The King Ray eyed up the other smaller Metal Gear curiously—it was battered, as if it had been knocked about in the surf, barnacles clung to its composite hide. A few tenacious seaweeds had managed to take hold in the crannies around its jaw, and unfurled in the water now like whiskers. It had the aura of an ancient sea dragon as its long tail held it in place, ballast tanks outstretched like all too easily broken wings. The front of its head was smashed, but its AI's shielding was intact and still keeping out the salt water. The King Ray and the nomadic RAY inspected each other for some time, the smaller of the two chirruping and howling hauntingly through the water. As if in response to its cries another one shot out of the hazy distance. This one didn't have a tail, its design was subtly different and it didn't seem as old and worn as the one with the long sinuous tail.  
  
The two RAY circled the King Ray curiously. Snake decided they didn't at least seem to mean any harm and flicked their own tail and surged forwards again. The two smaller Metal Gear sung at each other then fell into pace behind this curious newcomer, having to work hard to keep up with it.  
  
On land, walking slowly to allow the trucks to keep up with him, Ocelot saw the King Ray's wings bulging the surface of the water before the tension finally broke and it rose entirely to the surface.  
_Problems, Boss?  
_ Sunny looked over in time to see two quick shapes jumping in the King Ray's bow wave. "Were those RAY?"  
Big Boss answered. _They're following me. They've been with me for nearly five miles now.  
_ "They're probably curious as to what you are."  
_They're feral, or strays._ Ocelot cut in. _I'm not sure how exactly, but they're all on their own out here. Well. They don't have any human companions. Sunny, they must have followed us_ _down here.  
__It’s nice out here._ Big Boss said, apropos of nothing. _I could get used to this.  
You like it? _ Ocelot responded.  
_Yes. I feel better now I’m moving again.  
I’m glad, that’s real good Boss._ _  
  
_ Sunny was still watching the RAY surging along in the rushing water, sleek shining bodies, creatures that entirely belonged in the waves.  
"I guess so." She answered. "Can you talk to them?"  
_Maybe..._ The Wildcat reared, just for a moment, long enough to straighten its neck and bellow before its paws hit the ground and made the trucks nearest to it bounce erratically. One of the two RAYs vanished under the surface and a moment later leapt out of the water and back flipped with a scream.  
Ocelot chuckled and Sunny looked up expectantly but the Wildcat was rumbling again. These exchanges of saurian noises went on for some time, until Ocelot said to Sunny: _They're coming with us, all of them. The ones that are left anyway, the Jackal took out a few of them. They feel threatened, and want to remove the threat.  
_ Sunny nodded slowly. "I'd tell you to send them away but somehow I'm guessing that's not an option?"  
_They are free agents, I think they've made up their minds.  
_ Her eyes still on the anomalous Metal Gear that now escorted them, Sunny murmured: "I thought as much."  
_You don't like that idea?  
_ "I'm still dubious about these Metal Gear developing a sense of awareness like this."  
_They're not at a human level_ _s_ _of intelligence_. Ocelot pointed out. _I understand them, but it's like having a good understanding of a wild animal's behaviour._ _  
_ "Wild animals don't decide to protect strangers, that's what they did for us…"  
_True, but it wasn't like a human making a choice either, they associated me as being an ally, now they want to defend their territory._ He thought for a while. _Maybe I'm being unfair, why should I judge them by human intelligence, they're not humans._  
  
Sunny tried to put aside her discomfort over their new companions, they were here, and not leaving any time soon, and they had helped them. She ignored the smattering of other RAYs appearing in the water about the Arsenal Gear as it finally got the entourage it had been designed for. Ocelot eventually sent Snake on ahead, in the water the King Ray could move far faster than they could with their convoy, they could catch up later.  
  
Ocelot watched the King Ray vanish under the waves again with a final signal of farewell. Sunny smiled to feel his pride and his confidence, which, with the nomads on their side was soaring. On the horizon there was still a dark cloud waiting for him, but he felt strong and capable again, and looked forward to the future, his future, the Boss’ future. MSF and Diamond Dogs were long gone, as where his soldiers and friends from those days, but the memories lived on and could influence the future. He smiled to himself nostalgically, they would do better this time.


	61. Prison

" _I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something, and I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do._ "

\--

Edward Everett Hale

  


Dawn rose with his increasing irritability and Robert Lewis was out of the house early. Out of his cold bed and quiet house, with only his customary glance into the still furnished room that had once been his elder brother's. Back when he was still with them; Robert Lewis and his wife. Ex-wife. Back when they'd been a family, if a disjointed painful family plagued by his brother's bad choices. His knuckles turned white around the steering wheel before he'd even backed out of the drive. Untempered flashbacks of pinning his screaming brother down before he hurt someone, cleaning up foaming spit and vomit from the carpets, night after disturbed night until his wife just... Didn't show up one day, left him there to deal with it himself, and posted, POSTED, the damn divorce papers. He sucked in a shaky breath. Neil had signed up for what was good work back then, decent paying work, "a new start"! He'd said—preening in his new uniform. He'd been so proud of the larger apartment in the better part of town. No doubt it was host to someone else now, someone with no concept of how much better the previous occupant had been!  
  
Neil couldn't have been a better big brother, making the mistakes first, guiding Robert when their parents were too busy screaming at each other, taking the rap, doing the jobs a parent should have done. He'd worked hard at every damn day of his life looking after his little brother, worked hard at every job he'd had to reclaim his life once Robert was on his own, and for what? To end up in the hands of that murdering piece of shit, too wrapped up in his own twisted ego to once give the soldiers he experimented on one thought, one ounce of human compassion! He forced himself to take a deep slow breath and relax, one muscle group at a time, trying to remember what his anger management instructor had told him.  
  
Eventually he was able to relax his brows and unwrinkle his nose, his shoulders slowly dropping down from where they’d been wedged under his ears. It really was a shame the young woman and her uncle had gotten caught up in this, but they'd had their chance to turn things around. Deluded, that's what they were, thought that they could change the man, give him a chance to prove himself. As what? What had he done to repay their generosity? So far they'd gotten off easy in comparison to Robert’s brother, but they'd end up the same way sooner or later. Bones, bones under the earth, broken by a mercenary creature with no care for who he stepped on, as long as he got his way. One way or another they were as good as dead, and it was a shame, but they chose their own poison.  
  
The car backed out into the deserted road as he got his temper under control and he plastered on his professional mask. He didn't think of Sunny dispassionately, she was just another victim, one of hundreds, thousands. The unseen number behind the SOP support groups, the families lost under medical debt, the men that had lost their minds, the women who'd lost limbs, the children who grew up without parents, the elderly whose photos were all that were left of their children. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right that he should get a second chance, when an entire generation of the western world would never recover from the wounds he inflicted. Maybe there wasn't any justice in nature—BBR's walls loomed into view, hard shear concrete and steel—but Robert Lewis didn't have to kneel to nature.  
  
He avoided the administration building, and ignored the hangars where surprised eyebrows were raised in his direction, he went up to the evil oily green beast standing on the apron. Thoughts ran through his head of Nastasha Romenenko's 'In the Darkness of Shadow Moses: The Unofficial Truth', a copy sat beside his bed, beyond well worn and rapidly becoming tattered. Those thoughts were jumbled up along with later reports of the incident, that he'd dutifully poured over. He smiled humourlessly up at the Metal Gear before him. Tiny blue pinpricks of light danced deep inside sheltered lamps under the canopy, fitting seamlessly into the smooth skull.  
"There's no justice in nature." He said. "But we're not going to be controlled by 'nature' are we?"  
The lights pulsed and Robert Lewis straightened his back in response, feeling a growing sense of confidence in their partnership.  
"I didn't think so, it's not your style. Haha."  
  
\---  
  
The Black Wildcat's gaze remained fixated on the small figure traipsing away. Robert's self righteous sense of being made Liquid chuckle to himself; Mr Lewis and his petty revenge schemes... Still, any means to an end in a situation like this. Inwardly he writhed, his uncooperative body still refusing to listen to him. The idea of Ocelot walking free rankled, but he'd join him, surpass him, in that freedom soon enough. He wouldn't remain in this prison forever, he just had to be patient. His way out might be walking away from him now, but he'd be back soon enough, and soon enough Mr Lewis would hand over the keys to this damn jail. Liquid lunged in his shackles but outwardly the machine remained rock steady. Ocelot was predictable; if the rumours his sharp ears had heard were true, he'd be looking for a new nest for him and his beloved Big Boss.  
_Never change Ocelot._ He laughed. Wondering how he'd ever believed the starry eyed instructor he'd known from his youth, would ever side with anyone other than that one-eyed caveman. These days his betrayal on Shadow Moses seemed totally inevitable—hindsight was a wonderful thing.  
  
He dreamed woefully of a day when, as a child, he'd nearly crushed the Russian worm inside his own interrogation cell. Oh how much trouble he could have saved himself if that had been the case. Breaking out of that offshore prison, though a lifetime ago, came back to him as sharply as if it were yesterday, as did the various humiliations on board its decks. Liquid bristled at how Ocelot's deceitful techniques had allowed the older man to knock Liquid's younger self flat on his back in an instant, more than once. He looked forward to making the old man pay for that indiscretion.  
  
Often in their time in FoxHound together he'd thought of challenging him again; his fighting techniques had been better than ever, he'd no longer been a twelve year old coming up to the man's midsection. He'd been bigger, stronger and younger and he could have broken Ocelot over his knee. Or so he kept telling himself. Sitting in the back of his mind like a sore was the question of why he never had. Fear? No. Impossible. It didn't matter that that impostor masquerading as Big Boss had struggled to fight him where Ocelot hadn't broken a sweat, that had been years before, all in the past. It was just that the cringing pandering old bastard knew how to keep his head down, to have struck out at Ocelot then could have turned the rest of FoxHound against him!  
  
But even now Liquid couldn't buy this truth. Mantis, Christ but he missed him, had shared his goals whole heartedly, hadn’t he? Decoy Octopus had cared little for the drama of the rest of their unit so long as they were left to their own devices; Ravens and Ocelots were best kept apart at all times, least someone get a bullet in the back, and Wolf? Well... She might have come to the man's defence, possibly. Despite typically preferring her wolves as companions over other humans, or cats, she'd still seemed to have a greater bond, tiny though it was, with Ocelot over the others. Ocelot had actually smiled when she spoke to him—more than the others ever received. Liquid's skin would have crawled if he'd had any. As long as Liquid had known him there'd always been some young woman Ocelot had been sniffing around, and they certainly fell for his syrupy charm hook line and sinker, gods knew he’d never understand why. Ocelot was a bloody prat.  
  
Liquid shut out the outside world in preference for remembering the burning sun of the 1980s. The sniper Quiet standing close to Ocelot just inside the doorway to Room 101, listening intently to something Liquid hadn't been able to hear, the two sharpshooters never dropping each others earnest gaze. She'd listened and conspired with him, the man who tortured her and kept her imprisoned, such was his beguiling tongue. Apparently. Then, decades later, he turned the same attention to Naomi Hunter, then soon after: Sniper Wolf, vulnerable after the loss of Big Boss. No doubt with enough time she'd have been as tricky as Quiet, and been torn between Ocelot's word and Liquid's. Of course Wolf had died before that could be a problem and Ocelot had grown sullen without his little puppet-in-the-making.  
  
But now he had another little puppet.  
Sunny Gurlukovich-Emmerich. Liquid sighed, Emmerich, another who'd had more opportunity to cause problems than he'd any right to, again, that damn interfering old fool Ocelot. "Keep him", "We may still have use for him." Yes, me and my dear brother both! He fumed. Solid Snake would never had succeeded without that shivering little engineer. And the Gurlukoviches... He hadn't even been sure there were any surviving members left until recently, the mercenaries Ocelot had been so quick to enlist as back up on Shadow Moses, and whom he'd been so blasé about when it came to choosing a target for REX's nuke. His memories of the time after Shadow Moses were distorted and fragmented, but he remembered enough. Fiery tempers and Russian pride in the snow, old friends at each other's throats, an uneasy treaty. A woman's cynical gaze—Olga, if only he'd known she'd had so much sense, he'd have done more to bring her to his side before it was too late. A squalling child being carried away in the rain, her mother's heartbroken rage as she ground her teeth together and listened to honeyed threats and lies. A sadist's pleasure in knowing she saw right through him, and couldn't do a thing about it.  
  
"Do what I say, your child will be safe. I promise…"  
Safe, right. Well, maybe you kept your promise this far, Ocelot, but we'll see how well you do without your newest little woman. Liquid smiled coldly to himself. Wolf's death had made Ocelot sullen? Well he looked forwards to seeing how Ocelot would react to one half of his little team being torn away from him. The last of a proud family lineage about to come to an end, and most importantly, Ocelot's last hope of regaining a human life.  
  
Diamond Dogs, FoxHound, the cloudy cell of Ocelot's memories taking up the space where he should have had a life of his own! And now this armoured shell, inhuman, uncomfortable, chaffing on him day after day... One prison after another, but not for long. Ocelot's plan was obvious and Liquid's mind was on the same path, break out of this prison, reclaim his life, take the base, resettle himself. He wouldn't remain just one man for long. The Sons Of Big Boss, his genetically enhanced Genome Soldiers were no more, gone down with the memory of Shadow Moses, but as his father before him had risen from the ashes of his own dream's fiery destruction, so too could he.  
  
\---  
  
Robert Lewis stepped confidently into the pilots' quarters, seeking out the lockers that contained spare suits for trainees. It was early enough not even the brightest and most eager of the pilots would be showing up just yet. He eyed up the spare red suit in the corner that no one wanted to touch. Of course going by the clump of red Metal Gear diminishing in size day by day as each satellite image was brought to him, Robert suspected at least one pilot wouldn't be showing back up at all. The Red Jackal going AWOL was still fresh grain for the rumour mill, but the truth was elusive. Robert suspected Bennett had been in allegiance to someone outside the base, possibly the group the Wildcat had run back to, but if that was the case why was it torn apart? Maybe the answers could be gotten out of Ocelot and Sunny before the end of all this, but if not it would be no great loss—except for the cost of the Metal Gear itself of course. Robert had more pressing things to consider than one unpleasant individual’s fate hundreds of miles from here.  
  
He struggled into a suit, confused by its buckles and straps, but finally getting himself dressed. They were close fitting, designed to take up minimal room, even the protecting chest armour was inoffensive. He quickly put his work suit on over the top, put his shoes back on, tucked the boots under his arm and quickly made for his office. He hadn’t perfectly disguised the protective suit, but then, hopefully, he didn't need to be.  
  
\---  
  
The final reports he'd gotten last night had shown the Metal Gear well within 24 hours of them at their current pace, that had been nearly 14 hours ago. He doubted they would still be travelling at the land speed of the King Ray. The Arsenal Gear, if repaired as well as he feared, could already be within firing range. The Wildcat however, and the human troops Robert was now sure it would have rallied before attempting this, would move on ahead. Depending on when they'd broken away from the King Ray. They might be here by the end of the day. Or by lunch. He stopped at his desk, a set of printouts were already sitting there, he walked back out and into the main office. A lone figure was sitting at their desk, head propped up on their arms, fast asleep among a small sea of plastic coffee cups.  
  
Robert grumbled under his breath and retreated back to his office and picked up the sheets. As he'd suspected, the large bulk of the King Ray was being left behind by its entourage. He flicked through them, his suspicions confirmed. On the latest image the disguise of the ground troops had been dropped, they were falling in a scattered V behind the Wildcat, all trailed by a cloud of dust.  
  
"Dust..." they were moving fast then, maybe 4-5 hours away if they maintained that speed. He took a deep breath, suddenly shaky as reality came sprinting towards him fangs bared and guns trained on his head. He suddenly felt trapped in the sizeable office and threw down the papers and strode to the window. He wrenched open the Venetians and pressed his forehead against the glass, staring wild eyed down at the glistening Metal Gear below. He had doubts he'd get out of here with his job and reputation intact, but that didn't matter, not any more, not with retribution close to hand. His mind had been entrapped for years by the hopeless knowledge that his brother's torturer and murderer had gotten away with a quick death while Neil had been left disabled and tormented by SOP. Now, after squirming through with his lift intact this long, Revolver Ocelot would finally be brought to justice.


	62. Hero's Sword

_"Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red._ "

\---

Kait Rokowski

  


It was an old photo, one he'd kept in his wallet for half a lifetime. There was his father, too close to looking in a mirror for comfort, and his stepmother: Julie. Her eyes seemed to bore accusingly through the years at him, drawing him back into the shoes of his teenage self, heavy shoes, weighted down with guilt and shame. Between them were himself, and E.E., Emma, his step sister. It had been taken a week before his father's attempted murder-suicide and for the hundredth time Hal found himself searching his father's face for any sign of the approaching act, he saw nothing but a happy smile. His stomach turned. His father might not have been perfect, God alone knew how often Julie had asked him to get help and they'd tended to take everything he said with a hefty pinch of salt. A brilliant mind, a compulsive liar, but no one would have pegged him as a potential murderer. His eyes drifted to Emma, younger than him, more energetic, brave and curious—before she was half drowned of course. Guilt rose in his gullet, but it couldn't compete with the feelings that had woken him.  
  
It was 6:32am, and all night his dreams had been plagued with memories of loss. The latest nightmare had been of Emma, who'd naively gotten involved in their family's cursed career and died for it, though not before giving them a powerful worm to attack the Arsenal Gear AI with. Hal looked down at his shaking hands, expecting to still see his little sister's blood on them. They were clean, thin, papery, too weak to hold on to anyone with, but they held onto one thing. One doubt, one question. Ocelot had lead them to the tanker to frame them for its destruction, how had he known to sign the message "E.E."? Hal clenched his hands into tight shaking fists, Jack had assured him that Ocelot had claimed not to have coerced Emma on Big Shell, to have not hurt her, but what about before then? Or had she been another one? Lured into helping, lured like Naomi was, with promises of satisfaction in the name of her brother? His nails dug into the palms of his hands. Ocelot knew how to use your family against you more subtly than he’d really appreciated.  
  
The memories of his dream had been so clear. He could still smell the oily scent of Big Shell. Could still feel Dave's hands clap into his and drag him through the daft handshake they'd made up one day, at some small chain diner with truly terrible eggs. Tears had threatened to overwhelm him. his sister was laying dead only a few metres away and his best friend and he about to separate and go on their own missions. He'd wanted to escape and cry for Emma's life and Dave's bravery and for his own fear, but just then he'd been yanked forwards and found himself crushed against Dave's chest, held tightly and grounded. He'd hugged him back and listened to the comfortable drumming of Snake’s heart and the safe warmth squeezed between them. Then he was released and he fled, tears spilling down his face, so much left unsaid.  
  
He'd woken up expecting a tidal wave of sorrow and guilt and pain, it didn't come. Anger had overcome him and he'd torn out of bed and been half way across the room before he'd realised he'd twisted his weak ankle. He'd been strong enough then, strong enough to survive Shadow Moses, to carry the memories of those he'd lost, to pull David from the water of the Hudson River after the tanker went down, strong enough to get those people away from Big Shell. He'd been strong enough to team up with Ocelot when Sunny needed it, and now he'd be strong enough, once again, to give his family the back up it required of him. Public opinion might have been torn between Solid Snake The Hero and Solid Snake The Terrorist, but no one stopped to think he'd been a man, a human being, a kind and good one at that, one that had given Hal his life back, been there to support him, to love his family fiercely, if quietly. No one even remembered his sister, who'd given her life to protect people who'd never even known her name. Naomi, whose life's work still remained a partial mystery to him, who he’d known for such a short time and yet loved so hard. Wolf who'd died unceremoniously with holes in her lungs and a bullet in her head, turning the white snow red, while she chased an empty dream. A flash of Olga hanging three foot from the ground, her head pushed too far back by Solidus' mechanical manipulator arm, passed through his mind. Now more than ever his family, his allies, needed his support and he would be strong enough for them. There was no time for guilt, or martyr complexes, there was work to be done.  
  
Hot angry tears splashed down Hal's face as he pushed away from the old battered photo and started to dress himself, mind already racing. He wouldn't let it happen again, no more losses. The last message he'd received was that they were some 14 hours away, that had been last night, they only had a few hours now to get into position. He would be ready. Naomi had had her reasons to leave them and go back to Ocelot, Big Mama had had her reasons to defend him from her son's criticism, he trusted them, and he trusted Sunny. He trusted her. Hal forced aside his own misgivings about Ocelot, his own questions and doubts and put his faith in the women of his and Ocelot's lives. After all, they knew him better.  
  
\---  
  
Jack looked up from the sofa when Hal came downstairs, apparently having remained there most of the night. Hal's stomach tightened up, waiting for the inevitable question about how he’d slept. It didn't come, he returned the favour. Jack's slouched posture told him all he needed to know about how well the cyborg had spent the night.  
  
"Ready to go?"  
Hal poured hot water into two cups before answering, "Ready as ever—I mean…"  
Jack smiled. "Yeah, I've found a lot of old habits resurfacing. Do you think I should wake Rose?"  
"Oh... I... Yes, she won't want to wake up to find us gone."  
Jack nodded. "I'll take a cup up for her."  
Hal poured a third and watched enviously as Jack climbed the stairs to his wife in the spare room, then looked down at one of the cups awkwardly, of course, Jack didn't drink.  
  
\---  
  
Tracking coordinates! Sunny sat back in the King Ray’s cockpit and squeezed her fingers against her palms and flexed them, trying to work out the tension from her muscles. The King Ray stood firm and squared up on its stocky limbs, missile launchers trained skywards searching for an unseen target: coordinates lifted from the Wildcat. A comically small cannon was attached to the King Ray, the biggest gun a REX could carry, it was chained heavily to the Arsenal Gear. One shot. Sunny was terribly aware of the King Ray's unfettered AI. Big Boss, for all his fatigue, still radiated power. It beat against the edges of her consciousness, reminding her of how, in fear and rage, he had inadvertently murdered his early pilots. The tension in her hands didn't release. Outside, eyeless faces looked up at the Arsenal Gear—the curious RAY—possibly attracted by the same power that was currently giving Sunny a headache.  
  
Target acquired! The screen flashed and she felt the machine's cannon shifting.  
"Don't target outside of those areas," she said. "We're not up against soldiers, just engineers, we don't want them dead. I know you’re only carrying smoke rounds, but those missiles will still pack a punch when they hit. And that shell… Well. It’s for the wall okay?"  
Big Boss grunted in acknowledgement and Sunny stood from the chair to leave.  
"Any final words to Ocelot?"  
"He knows what he's doing."  
"That's not what I meant."  
"Hmn?"  
"Never mind."  
She climbed down and out onto the hard earth. On the edge of the group of men and machines the Wildcat raised its head and turned to look at her.  
  
\---  
  
"Ocelot?" He looked over his shoulder at her, then turned back to the flowers blossoming around him. "You really take getting lost inside your head to a whole new level." She gibed playfully. Sitting beside him and watching his fingers trace patterns on the petals, until the blood red leather on the white petals made her stomach lurch and she was forced to look away. The Vista Mansion rose up elegantly and bright in the sun behind them, the doors and windows on the top floor were open, one lace curtain had been dragged out to wave in the breeze. On the lower terrace the pool glittered almost blindingly, and on one of the wicker chairs beside it a blue robe, that didn't feel like it belonged to Ocelot, sat waiting for its owner. A moment frozen in time, missing an inhabitant. This had been his home, now it seemed terribly lonely.  
  
"Hey..." She reached out, taking a hold of his biceps through his shirt. He finally turned to look at her. "Are you going to be okay?"  
He opened his mouth then closed it and dropped her gaze.  
"Wow... You're really scared aren't you?" She exclaimed under her breath. He shrugged her off. "Yeah, I probably would be too if I was thinking about it."  
"You're going to be thinking about it when we get there, right?" his voice sounded too loud and rough in the quiet gentle garden, but Sunny felt the tension in her shoulders drop to finally hear him say something.  
"Of course."  
His eyes turned hard. "Don't underestimate him, Sunny."  
"I-I won't!"  
"I'm serious!"  
"I know."  
"I don't know what his plan is but presume he's willing to do anything to see it to completion, he won't take pity on anyone who stands in his way." She nodded mutely. "He's been built to out do me in every way."  
"Not every way…"  
"Enough ways! Sunny, your experience is what's going to make the difference here, that and your speed at the controls. Mr Lewis won't be able to keep up."  
"And hopefully he and Liquid will be at odds…"  
  
They'd been through this tens of times over the last few days, they didn't bother to reiterate it and fell into silence. Sunny raised her eyes from the grass and flowers to meet his melancholy gaze. He shifted, twisting around getting up on his knees in front of her, grass staining his knees. She shrank back under the intensity of his scrutiny.  
"W-what is it?" She stuttered when he reached out and took ahold of her shoulders.  
"If this goes wrong, just run."  
"Ocelot—"  
A brisk shake. "Understand me?"  
"I-I understand."  
"Promise me you'll run, go back to your uncle, get out of there?"  
"I... I promise?"  
He stared at her until she squirmed and then said: "In answer to your question, Sunny, yes, I'm scared. You terrify me."  
"Uh? I do?"  
He shook his head, brows knotting low over his eyes. "You're..." he stopped himself. "I don't know if he's aware of what our relationship is, or if he thinks I'm just making use of you, but he will try to take you a—he'll target you." He watched as Sunny's brows suddenly knotted in reflection to his own. "I'm not going to stay on the sidelines this time, I will be with you as long as I can be, but…"  
"I promise." She raised a hand to squeeze his wrist. "It's okay, I'll get out of there if I have to."  
He looked relieved. "You and your uncle can do more alive, understand that, if this goes wrong, it's up to you to stop him."  
  
\---  
  
The Wildcat rolled back on its haunches and loped back along the line of personnel, vehicles and RAY. Behind them the King Ray stood watching with its own group of guards. Sunny was in the shadow of the colossal machine saying goodbye and good luck to Crow, but at the Wildcat's lowing rumble they parted and she sprinted back towards her partner.  
"I'm ready."  
_Good, then I think that makes all of us.  
  
_ Sunny dropped smartly into the pilot's seat, and felt a surge of power as the hydraulics in his limbs resonated with her own, a deft hand on the controls and the Wildcat's long strong legs slammed into the cracking earth and he reared up, taller than the RAY that bugled their support. The soldiers looked up, faces hidden by inscrutable masks. Sunny found herself inspecting the monitors closely, smiling tightly at the darkly clad well armed ranks; the RAY were worn and twitchy but energetic, sinuous tails scythed through the air and gaping trisected jaws weaved back and forth in anticipation. The ground came back up to meet them and the Wildcat turned and as he did so, Ocelot's voice rang out clearly over the speakers.  
"Otselotovaya Khvatka!" He waited until everyone's attention was firmly on him. "I understand there is division amongst you, and believe me, I understand and appreciate why. I would not ask for this if it was not important, not just to myself, but for Otselotovaya Khvatka, for each one of you individually. You are no longer hidden, no longer secret, and your enemy is now Liquid Snake, he will come for you as long as he perceives your existence as a threat to his. He will never be your ally, he will never let you go. Our only option is to strike first. Not just for us, but for everyone who might stand in his way, anyone who might disagree with his aims." The Wildcat's head didn't move, but Sunny saw the cameras shift as Ocelot glanced up at the King Ray. "Big Boss and I have plans, we wish to re-establish Outer Heaven, learn from our past mistakes, create something lasting, the home for unfettered soldiers that we'd always hoped it would be, where you're free to choose your own battles. Not one of you will be forced to remain with us, though we'd welcome any of you, but until the world is free of Liquid Snake not one of us can rest easy. Thank you, for coming this far, for helping us, for giving us a chance." He paused again, centred himself and finished: "Once upon a time, Ingwe was one of us, a child taken from the heat of battle and given a home. Our… My short sightedness, caused the strife between us that you have been witness to. I regret that deeply, I would have preferred she was with us today, with us to see Outer Heaven rise again, better than before, offering the next generation the hope and help she never had. Today we fight for the start of a new era, for our freedom, for the memory of Ingwe, and for hundreds like her. We fight, for those who can't."  
  
"For our Outer Heaven!" The King Ray bellowed and the RAY at its side cried out excitedly, though it was debatable if they were actually agreeing to anything. There was a scattering of cheering from the troops, more than Ocelot had hoped for.  
"Move out!"  
  
Big Boss watched as the scarred silvery form of the Wildcat move away, head held high and proud as ever, ready to draw blood again. They were both aware of how much depended on this mission, and balanced on the outcome, but that didn't put Big Boss' mind at rest. The vehicles bumped along in their commander's wake, the RAY stalking along bringing up the rear on their gangly legs. To Big Boss however their friend cut a lonely vulnerable figure, striking out towards the enemy base. Many years ago they had underestimated the skills of Solid Snake, then only in his twenties, who went on to single handedly take down everything Big Boss had built. Now it was with a sinking heart that Big Boss watched their closest friend and last ally stride of into battle with the second member of Les Enfants Terribles, who had every reason to bring as much vigour to the battle as his brother—Ocelot's downfall in his first life—ever had.  
  
\---  
  
Jack was a shade, bounding hand over hand up the side the wall, he kept to the early morning shadows as he crept in amongst the buildings, armed with his high-frequency blade and his wife's kiss on his cheek. The base was quiet, even for this time of day, and it seemed as if the whole place was holding its breath waiting for something to happen. Dread permeated the air and anticipation the concrete under his feet. Jack tossed back his white hair and nodded to himself, the path was clear and he ran quickly and silently around the wall, through open sided storage sheds, ducking behind the waste tanks and out of use trucks—avoiding the one driver standing by his vehicle waiting on his companion to return so they could get to work—and running down the length of the maintenance hangar building. The only thing that saw the sleek slightly inhuman figure was a hawk high above the base, looking for mice in the unkempt grasses. In front of him the fuel farm: a maze of pipes, tanks, access points and tall wire fencing. A sinister spider web that he gratefully used as cover, even as wondering how much damage could be caused if this became a target made the hair on the nape of his neck, the bit that was still human anyway, stand on end. The route to the rear gate, and his post, was empty of cover, but they had agreed this was the best option. Jack could have gone around the back of the office building, but that was the more populated side of the base, more likely to be spotted, or around the back, but that wouldn't have given him a passing view of the base.  
  
He surveyed the area: open and flat, but devoid of human life. The rear gate was open but nothing was approaching along the disused runway, to his right the production model Wildcat stood silent and still on the apron. It was shut down, but it was hard to shake the feeling of being watched. He rotated his finely engineered shoulders and, keeping low as possible, made a go for it. Dashing across the yellowing grass, the gravel strewn taxiway and back into the shadow the wall cast against the garage. The air here was chilled but Jack wasn’t effected, climbing quickly up the ladder fixed to the tall wall and making his way from platform to platform. He kept moving, until he was able to drop to his haunches under the eaves of the spotlights, mounted on either side of the gate. From his perch he was able to look out across the runway behind him, over the roof of the garage in front of him to the main entrance and offices, or straight across the empty space to the sinister Metal Gear that Hal had assured him carried the ghost of Liquid Snake.  
  
Hal had found the main entrance unsecured and he blinked in surprise at the empty guard post, but didn't question it. Jack had confirmed what Hal had suspected, a lot of people were refusing to come in. Hopefully very few people were on site today, certainly there weren’t a lot of cars here in comparison to how busy it was normally. He pulled in quickly to a corner of the car park behind the company van. With shaking hands he grabbed at his laptop bag and unzipped it. Hands shaking with fear he told himself; he could handle fear. His mobile hummed softly in his pocket, and wriggling his hips up awkwardly to extract it from his back pocket, he checked the screen: Clear.  
Recon had shown up no immediate traps or threats outside. He took a deep breath, releasing it through his nose as the laptop screen illuminated his face and he stretched his fingers, time to get to work. He'd had remote access to his own computers for a long while to work from home, now he needed to expand that control to the rest of the base, if he couldn't? Well, that's why he was on site.  
  
Just as Jack had infiltrated the base and made himself at home in his hidden spot, Hal reached out into BBR's familiar systems. He wasn't searching for information this time however. He had, in the past, broken into the surveillance systems here to pass the time, and it was a cinch to do it again now with purpose. One screen open showing the entrance to the car park, and the other his work on the communications systems, Hal started to feel at home and focused. If the world that opened up before him now hadn't commanded his entire attention he might have found himself reminiscing. Remembering nights leading into days in sordid apartments, endless cups of syrupy strong coffee being spirited away and replaced with bottled water, the smell of cigarettes and aching hands as he paved the way for the next of Snake's missions. Strong capable fingers rubbing the stiffness from his shoulders. He might have taken the time to think about how he'd poured so lovingly over REX in its formative years, or while under the heartless scrutiny of his captors on Shadow Moses. Indeed, as the code beckoned temptingly, a thought did occur to him: Liquid sweeping out of the room, all snapping heels and golden hair and simmering rage, glancing up at Ocelot standing at his shoulder, the older man's gaze had been on Liquid's retreating form, a strange expression in his eyes and tugging up the corners of his mouth. Back in the present, Hal paused at the keys, replaying the moment in his mind in disconnected flashes of time; maybe back then fear had hidden it from him perhaps, or maybe time was playing tricks on him, but he couldn't shake the feeling now that Ocelot had been laughing at Liquid's attempts to control REX. Would that come back to bite him now? But then, Liquid hadn’t been able to stop his brother when he’d piloted REX... Hal took a deep steadying breath. Don’t underestimate him, he willed, as much to himself as to Liquid’s absent opponents. Don’t give him an opening.  
  
\---  
  
Hal had forgotten to blink, but now that he had the base's computer network unfolded before him and the communications system under his control, he took the time to squeeze shut his burning eyes and leant back against his chair, feeling the tears well up over his gritty eyes with relief.  
  
Under the table Robert clenched his hands into fists to stop them from shaking, nodding tightly as he was given the news and sent the pale faced staff away, not caring if they left his office, or the site. Once they were gone he hurried to call the hangars, ordering them to start up the Wildcat. With the message passed on, he strode from his office and all but ran down the stairs.  
  
Small figures were suddenly convening on the Black Wildcat, Jack's gaze dropped to watch them. Some leapt from vehicles to hitch up the GPUs and tow them away, while others checked the systems as the Wildcat was brought online. From the direction of the offices a small darkly clad figure was approaching, gaze fixed with heady anticipation on its Metal Gear. Something was happening. Jack frowned and glanced up, then stood up; on the horizon between the two shear walls that made up the main entrance, a small blurry shape had appeared.  
  
The world surged in on Liquid as his sensors came online, and he clung to his sight and hearing like a child to his teddy bear, comforted and relieved, though it was with disgust that he realised someone was behind his 'controls' again. His head was being raised up, then with a sweeping sense of increased awareness his sat nav was engaged and there, approaching at a steady speed, was a familiar signature. He grinned.  
  
Jack sent the message to Hal immediately, there was no doubting what the incoming shape and the sense of urgency in the waking of the Wildcat meant.  
  
Hal's eyes snapped open as his phone buzzed at him and he made a grab for it to read the message.  
  
In the Black Wildcat's cockpit, Robert adjusted the controls.  
"I hope you're ready..." he said, possibly to himself.  
  
Ocelot growled, a new marker had appeared on his navigation display and in response the Wildcat's jaws dropped open to bare its fangs at the distant shape of BBR on the horizon. Its head lowered threateningly, an indication on the HUD let Sunny know the cannon was loaded and the missile launchers were ready to go. Outside the troops eyed their commander's change of posture cautiously. Behind them the King Ray shifted.  
_Brace yourself, Sunshine._ Ocelot drawled.  
"...We have company."


	63. Only Room for One

" _Though you wouldn't believe all that's happened to me  
I've been to the back side of hell,   
And I've played with your fear and enjoyed it well  
This our time, the night's our day   
We'll dance this fading life away_ "

\--

Wrong Side, Abney Park

  


The Wildcat left the troops behind, digging in its claws, speed rapidly rising to a gallop as BBR's walls rose up ahead. The first signal was made, and moments later the first shell whistled overhead, aiming for where the eastern and southern walls met. The second signal was made and the King Ray had launched a the smoke bomb, which would fall shortly before they arrived. On the HUD Sunny could see it distant and indistinct through Ocelot's eyes. It would offer the Wildcat the chance to make the first blow, which in this case might be all the advantage they were going to get. Then the shell struck, taking a massive chunk out of the corner of the wall, dust and debris was spat left and right and upwards. Lumps of concrete tumbled down and left a triangular shaped wedge in the walls, a sliver of gap between the two walls showed the insides of the base.  
  
Sunny tore her eyes from the image of the descending smoke bomb and glanced at the damaged section of wall. Her mind wasn't on the people the bomb was falling on. Calculations were running through her head, shared calculations on approach speed, ETA, stresses in joints, pressure readings, signals, how much they could afford to risk on the approach to BBR, would Liquid see the initial strike as an attack and come out to meet them, or did they have to continue their break in?  
The walls were looming over them now, there was no sign of Liquid. Two cars screamed out of the rapidly narrowing main entrance. The huge metal gates boomed shut moments later, cutting off any more would-be-escapees.  
  
Ocelot hesitated, eyeing up the half open gate, Sunny turned him back towards the wall.  
_No time, it’ll close on us.  
_ Ocelot grunted, and the Wildcat leapt, mid-jump its claws bit into the rough crater left by the King Ray’s shell and dug in as it continued its flight upwards, its back hooves snagged into the newly made foot holds as the Wildcat used the wedge shaped damage to climb up, first pushing off one side of the wedge then the other. It grabbed the top of the wall and heaved itself up, dragging itself forwards over the top of the wall. Their ears rang as they both waited to see if they'd make it, as BBR rolled into view just in time for the bomb to impact the apron.  
  
The Wildcat's back legs and tail made it safely over the wall in an agile arc. Its paws crunched down into the tarmac of the car park, flattened the back end of one vehicle while another hurriedly pulled out of the way and bounced over the grass to hide itself behind the office block. Neither Sunny or Ocelot noticed however, as just then the smoke bomb hit the concrete apron and debris was flung high and wide. A fraction of a second later the whole area was devoured by a rolling cloud of smoke. Not soon enough however, to hide the malevolent Black Wildcat’s presence from them, or them from it. For a moment it stood opposite them, watching their infiltration of the base, then the smoke consumed it and all that was left was a terrible roar. The Wildcat didn't wait to get its footing, the moment its claws hit the ground it was pushing off again, charging through the smoke towards the other Metal Gear.  
  
Sunny reached out, listening and watching through the Wildcat as closely as she could, trying not to force her anticipation of Ocelot's movements, they couldn't afford to miss a single step because she was elbowing her way in, but it wasn’t an issue. She slipped into feeling the movements of the machine as clearly as if they were her own, and with them felt Ocelot's presence, warm and full of life, aware of her every action and thought. She dared be confident in their ability, she had nothing to hold back from him, the walls were down. They'd had plenty of time to synchronise their behaviour and relax to the feeling on the way from his Resurrection to this moment now, it seemed almost natural by this point. She could feel the hydraulic muscles in her partner's body, the weight of his steps, the air whistling down the ducts in his throat, see the faint glowing shadow of heat in the cool smoke rising to meet them. Almost natural. Unbidden she remembered him taking over, firing on Ingwe in the heat of their battle, Ingwe who’d locked her up and ordered the agonies inflicted on her, the images were vivid, rapid. She squeezed her eyes shut, the gap between them widened. A deep breath, the familiar sensation of Ocelot watching her carefully, she lent on him and let out the breath, relaxed back into him. Ocelot leant back against her. They showed their teeth and growled.  
  
Across from them Robert clenched his hands tightly against the controls and bared his teeth, the pressure of the situation and the long wait had taken its toll on him. Seeing the war torn weapon system so confidently leap the walls he'd always thought so impenetrable, had frozen him to the spot, but the Black Wildcat that surrounded him had roared in challenge even as their view was obscured. Robert's eyes glanced at the controls, semi-auto, they had shared control, was that right? It was... Right? He blinked. This was all too much, he wasn't afraid, in fact he wasn't even thinking of the other Metal Gear that was hidden in the billowing smoke. Tunnel vision consumed him and he blinked hard trying to remember... No it was no good, there was too much... The Black Wildcat's complex controls lurched under his hands and before he could stop himself he was shoving it forwards and they were barrelling through the veil.  
  
The other Wildcat ran out to meet them. In the initial clash they impacted with the sound of grinding armour. The Silver Wildcat unleashed a sudden volley of blows with its paws, the Black Wildcat reared its head back protectively and swung around. First the heavy tail crashed into the other's shoulder and neck forcing it back and to the side, then as the machine kept turning it rolled its shoulders and unfolded its paw. The claws smashed into the side of the prototype's beak and narrowly missed the wind shield. Sunny watched the paw, easily the size of a truck, slice by outside. For an instant her heart stopped, reality coming down hard as one of many possible deaths passed by.   
_Still with me?  
_ She shook herself and re-engaged. Just in time, as Ocelot's momentary focus on her distracted him from the heavily armoured elbow being jabbed at them. Sunny reacted, and the Wildcat deflected the blow with the back of one solid forearm, the Black Wildcat stumbled forwards, the awkward attack inappropriate for its build, and Ocelot threw their weight around and into the side of the other Metal Gear. They crashed into the doors of the hangar and the metal buckled and gave way under their weight, tearing off hinges with a scream of twisting metal as it caved inwards.  
  
Robert gazed slack jawed at the controls in front of him, hand hovering over one thing, then suddenly dropping to another and pulling the machine into some other manoeuvrer before he knew what he was doing. The Black Wildcat was lifted off its feet for a moment and Robert groaned, a wave of pain rolled over his already aching brain and he took his hands off the controls to hold his head. He just... Change the controls... No no he was sure they were right... But what if... They weren't? His head hurt so badly... Was this why? Was the Metal Gear set up... wrong? He flexed his fingers against his scalp, they seemed numb, a thousand miles away, he tried again, his hands returned to the controls.  
  
The doors finally collapsed in on themselves and the two Metal Gear sagged into the hangar with them. Forcing the Silver Wildcat to let go and rebalance. The Black Wildcat, already on its side, kicked out and shoved its opponent backwards. The Wildcat trotted backwards, happy to get out of range of the powerful limbs, as its machine guns opened fire. The bullets left the Black Wildcat's armour pock marked and the softer composite around its neck scarred, but it was otherwise unharmed. Then Sunny broke off the attack, there were still people trying to escape the damaged hangar, looking in terror at the smoke and gunfire that had suddenly invaded their work place.  
  
Ocelot leapt forwards again, jaws agape and fangs extended, the Black Wildcat pushed upwards to meet him and there was a moment of sparks off steel as their fangs meshed, tore apart and bit down hard into each others throats.  
  
Terrified by the new attack that seemed to fill his mind with screams of rage and made his ears spike with pain, Robert tried to raise his hands to protect his face but only wailed in fear when his body refused to obey. His hands shook and twitched. The Black Wildcat lurched awkwardly against the Silver and they took the opportunity to dig their claws into its shoulder. The Black Wildcat kept forcing them back, half pushing, half falling onto them. Semi-auto AI control wasn't good enough, Robert assured himself, it was the wrong setting, Sunny and her Wildcat needed to be working totally automatically with the AI given priority! It was the only way it could possibly work! His faltering mind groped for logic and assurance and was handed it on a silver plate.  
"Of course, of course!" He warbled, reaching out. "There's not a good enough link like this!" the dial clicked crisply in the muffled cockpit. Robert Lewis went still, his hands stopped trembling, his eyes unfocused. The Black Wildcat went still enough for the Sunny to twist them around and wriggle the Wildcat half free while Ocelot’s mind was on keeping his grip on the enemy’s thoat. Inside the cockpit of the Black Wildcat the pilot shook himself violently and a reptilian grin spread across his face.  
  
The radio coughed and Sunny and Ocelot jumped to attention as Mr Lewis' voice spoke to them.  
"I'm surprised you bothered to come back at all! You must know you can't win this."  
Sunny narrowed her eyes and fired from the anti-personnel guns on the Wildcat's jaw, the bullets were too small to do any real damage to the Metal Gear's armour, but at such close range they started to tear into the composite throat. The Black Wildcat let go in disgust and quickly leapt away to put distance between them. Ocelot rolled his shoulders and flexed his neck searching for damage.  
  
"You know, you shouldn't have bothered at all, not with any of this!" Mr Lewis' voice continued over the radio. "Sunny, this was all such a waste of your time, your life! That machine is nothing but scrap metal, born to be tested to destruction, to create THIS!" The Black Wildcat reared up and bellowed. Its cries were still echoing in Sunny’s ears as Mr Lewis continued: "The next generation of Metal Gear, with the secret behind a working MB-AI unlocked, BBR will be able to take it even further, the next generation of weapon—"  
The Silver Wildcat bared its teeth. "Let me guess," it rumbled, Ocelot's voice demanding attention in the open arena. "A weapon to surpass Metal Gear? How many times have I heard that before?" He chuckled, fangs gnashing in his jaws. "Do you know my history with Metal Gear, Mr Lewis? I first encountered it the 60s, helped divert the information to those I felt preferable. All these years later, and nothing has managed to surpass what I set in motion."  
"You're a conceited old man out of his own time, you're dead, Ocelot! Dead and gone! Isn't it time you realised that? Without you the world will finally be free to move on as we, the living, see fit!"  
"As you see fit?" Ocelot shouted. "You? Do you know what you've brought back inside that machine?"  
  
The Black Wildcat took a leisurely stride, slowly circling around to the Silver's flank. Sunny turned the Wildcat so they were side stepping, keeping the other machine in front of them. The glistening Metal Gear's fangs glinted in the sun when a new voice sounded aloud across the apron. A curt Standard British accent that made Ocelot bristle. Sunny felt his discomfort as keenly as if it were her own.  
"Oh, I think he knows." Liquid said smoothly. "It's you who don't seem to understand Ocelot. Give up now and I'll make it quick, but really I must say I'd rather you forced me to drag this out."  
Even Sunny didn't anticipate Ocelot's sudden giggle, but she knew what was coming afterwards.  
"If you could make this quick, you'd have done it by now. Face it Liquid, you don't really want to draw out a fight against me."  
"If you're inviting me to make it slow and painful then so be it, I'll drag every last plea for mercy from you before I'm done!" He spat.  
"You've never been able to defeat me in the past, what makes you think this will be any different?"  
"I'm not a child any more, old man! This time I'm built to be better than you! This time I'M the better one!"  
  
The shout dissipated with the last traces of smoke, silence fell on the apron. The Black Wildcat bristled with quiet rage.  
"Oh are you now?"  
Liquid ground out. "Just like you: I’m a new man, I have a new body, only that's where the similarities end! I'm better, more in control. I know what you're up to, Ocelot! But rest assured, I'm going to do it better!"  
Sunny and Ocelot had time to wonder what he meant before the Black Wildcat charged them.  
  
\---  
  
The people who'd remained on the base instead of leaving before the Wildcat's arrival, were rushing to the exits now. Too little, too late. Despite, in fact because of, the battle commencing, the GEKKO had gone into defence mode and the small Metal Gear were herding their human charges back into buildings, pre-recorded messages unhelpfully telling them to await rescue, that the base was the safest place to be. While the GEKKO were not a physical threat to the panicking staff, they only patiently snatched up each escapee and placed them back into the throng, the press of human bodies was becoming an equally pressing issue.  
  
Jack had seen the terrified fitters in the hangar and had swooped in to guide them out through the rubble, sword cutting a path where the fallen doors and girders and various other components to the massive hangar had fallen in. Now he was stood at the back of the group, peering over their heads in consternation and tapping the hilt of his sword.  
"Hal, can you hear me?"  
"I read you, Jack. What's going on?" Hal's voice sounded strained, he hadn't expected the Wildcat to leap the walls, and having the Metal Gear come crashing down only a hundred yards or so away had frightened him badly, he'd taken his impromptu workspace around the back of the offices. The only doors out were closed and the sounds of the fight were horribly close. Now there was nothing but an office block between him and the war machines and he’d already seen what the Wildcat could do to one of those.  
  
"I can't get these people out, the GEKKO are blocking their way."  
"Oh... Yes, they probably don't understand how to respond to the threat."  
"Who's in charge of them?"  
"I don't know, but he's probably already off the base."  
"I could cut them down, but there's a lot of people here panicking already."  
"Yes, yes and they could be of use to you, give me a moment, I'll try to take control of them."  
"Thanks, Hal. Hal?"  
"Yes, Jack?"  
"The cavalry's arrived."  
"What?"  
Ahead of the squalling mass the front gates were slowly starting to move, creaking inwards unnaturally, here and there spurts of high pressure water burst through as vapour and even here it fell on the people like rain.  
  
Jack sprinted off away from the group, too fast for the GEKKO to stop, and bounded from sheds to ledge to dubious handhold until he reached the top of the wall and could look down at the RAY; their high powered water cutters were slamming into the doors.  
"Hal I need to get those people out of there. There are RAY out here, they're pushing down the doors." He eyed up the runners, already peeling up out of the concrete from the assault and the bulge where the door was starting to flex inwards along with a growing pool of water. Suddenly the two RAY able to fire at the door spluttered and ran out of ammunition. One backed up and the other took a running leap at the door, landed with both feet firmly on the metal then sprung off again, the doors moaned and sagged a little further, but held. Two more RAY with full ballast tanks stepped forwards, ugly mouths open and ready to take their siblings' place at the door.  
"If those people are behind the doors when they go, or if these cutters get through…"  
"I'm working on it, the GEKKO have a wireless connection to the security hub, I think I can alter their orders through that. Get back to the group, try to lead them away if you can."  
Jack bounded back down the steep wall and soon found the unrepentantly helpful GEKKO shoving him back into place with the staff.  
  
\---  
  
It charged with a yell of rage, aiming squarely for the Wildcat's chest. Sunny pulled the controls around quickly and they swung aside, the Black Wildcat shot past, ground its heels into the concrete and rolled back to face them. In the time it took Liquid and Robert to stop and turn around, Ocelot had spun about and shot forwards, head and shoulders under the other Wildcat's chest. The Black Wildcat flailed as it was thrown over the Silver's shoulders and landed hard on its side, just getting its feet back under it before its opponent was on it again. Fangs hooked into its neck and weight pinned it to the ground. A volley of missiles arced up around the Wildcat and came swooping back to strike the immobilized Metal Gear, explosions bloomed around them leaving it snarling and dented, but intact. Out of the smoke the prototype came tumbling, as the new Wildcat forced itself to its feet and shook off its attacker with its greater size and strength. Immediately they clashed again, bullets from machine guns ricocheting off armour as they grappled, both trying to hit a sweet point with the otherwise ineffectual guns.  
  
Ocelot span around and darted off, Liquid yelled unintelligibly at them and was quickly on their heels. Sunny kept them heading towards the wall, barely breathing as she watched the other Metal Gear gaining on them. At the last minute she wrenched the Wildcat around, Ocelot dropping down low into the turn. The Black Wildcat kept going, even as it tried to turn its body kept on going straight. It slammed into the wall, concrete rained down on it with a sound like hail on a hundred corrugated iron roofs. The Black Wildcat was heaving itself upright and pulling itself out from between two buttresses when the first round hit it in the side, pushing it back again. The second smashed into its hip and something ruptured inside it. Liquid howled. This time the Black Wildcat didn't start to get up, its cannon span around to face them as they reloaded. Liquid cursed as his opponent tensed and bounded out the way in time to dodge his own attack, firing off another round as they moved. The shell grazed the trapped Wildcat's shoulder, with a snapping sound the base of its cannon started to fracture.  
  
\---  
  
The GEKKO jerked and Jack looked up hopefully. One of them stepped forwards and in Hal's nervous voice called out to everyone to follow the GEKKO, it wasn't safe here, he could lead them out. The staff hesitated, the big front gates were so close it was hard to imagine following a disembodied voice away from them. Then the gates bowed inwards and a jet of high powered water shot overhead and sliced into the building before cutting out and soaking the people underneath it. No one hesitated after that. Jack watched the GEKKO under Hal's command herd the group around the side of the building as quickly as they could go. For his part Jack ducked back into the building and back towards the apron.  
  
The Black Wildcat braced itself and heaved its bulk away from the wall, every time it reloaded it would pause to take another shot at the Silver Wildcat, forcing them backwards, but not stopping them from taking their own shots. Two more direct hits later and the Black Wildcat was dragging one leg, but on three limbs it pushed onwards until the Silver Wildcat was backing up against the office building. Liquid laughed to himself as he saw the older machine rear up and pull back one arm. He fainted to the right and as the powerful punch came around to meet him he lunged and, not deflecting it, absorbed the blow and sunk his teeth into the crook of the Wildcat's elbow.  
"Shit!"  
_Shit!  
  
_ The Black Wildcat threw itself backwards, wrenching the other's forelimb out straight before the Wildcat was forced to move forwards. The chassis rocked with the repeated impacts as the Black Wildcat's missiles rained down on their immobile form and spilt hydraulic fluid ignited across the torn composite of their shoulder. Ocelot groaned and the Wildcat dug in its heals, playing a sick game of tug-o-war as on the HUD, hydraulic system 1's pressure dropped and system 2 kicked in, only to drop in turn and the pressure sensors in the victimised arm went wild. Sunny swore harshly as the third and last back up system cut out in the right arm. The computers flashed up errors in distress as the arm and its add-ons failed to respond. Ocelot snarled wordlessly in pain and wrenched his damaged body backwards, but the massive joint of his shoulder held, keeping them firmly trapped in the Black Wildcat's jaws. Instead of keeping up the backwards pressure, Ocelot threw them forwards, hoping to force Liquid to let go as they got in closer. It worked, the Black Wildcat dodged the wild blows of the other's one intact claw and let go. Sunny and Ocelot were left with a dragging dead weight and no way to lift it out of the way. Ocelot glanced down and his head swam at the sight of his shredded arm, the once vital ram now hung like a broken spur from his elbow, his shoulder joint totally exposed and wreathed in bent metal, wires, pipes and cables that Liquid had ruthlessly torn out of place. Flames hungrily licked up the spilt oils. He felt ill. Sunny manoeuvred them aside but they were too slow now and the Black Wildcat darted back in, once again snatching up the damaged arm and shaking them like dog until they nearly fell over. Bullets tore into the Black Wildcat's face and throat, a shot from the cannon had it reeling, but its jaws were locked in place and nothing they did was making it let go.  
  
_He's... toying... with us.  
_ "He's t-trying to d-d-drag us over, we-we n-need to get-t r-rid of this a-arm!"  
_I'm open to suggestions._ Ocelot ground out.  
  
It was then that Sunny saw the small nimble figure running out of the hangars.  
"Jack!"  
Jack stared up at the two struggling Metal Gear in horror. The scarred grey prototype that was carrying his friend was a mess, not one of its limbs seemed to be entirely intact now, but the one in the Black Wildcat's jaws was obviously useless. The Black Wildcat wasn't looking much better, its armour was torn up and twisted, but it was going strong. It was throwing its weight into it every time it wrenched on the tattered arm. As the smaller of the two Wildcats was yanked forwards and almost fell, it gave a shriek that snapped Jack out of it. He drew his sword and started to run towards them.  
  
Sunny grinned maniacally as, unbeknownst to Liquid, she watched the cyborg leap onto the Black Wildcat's tail and sprint up its spine. She pulled the Wildcat back and Ocelot flung himself backwards, the Black Wildcat growled and did the same, determined to make them loose their balance first. Jack leapt from the Black Wildcat's beak and plunged the high frequency blade into the Wildcat's shoulder, cutting as long and as deep a wound in the thick structure as he could. The catastrophic fracture happened immediately, with a tremendous KRACKOW the Wildcat's arm fractured clean through from where the blade had cut in. Both Metal Gear shot backwards. The Black Wildcat sat back on its haunches, but the additional weight of the arm had it toppling back further over its own hip. The Silver Wildcat, now considerably lighter leapt back to its feet. Jack, thrown loose by the release of energy, hit the ground hard and just had time to roll out of the way before the Wildcat's back foot came down to crack the concrete.  
  
The Black Wildcat spat out the limb and carelessly unleashed a salvo of missiles, with no time to aim, as the Silver Wildcat righted itself and came at its opponent. They went for its throat, and wrapped their one good forelimb about its chest, lifting it as they did so.  
  
Smoke streaked about them as the Black Wildcat's first volley of missiles took to the air. They pulled backwards, dragging the Black Wildcat above them, the two Metal Gear snapped at each other, claws denting the heavy armour as their massive forelimbs were flung about each other and they grappled for control. The Black Wildcat was lifted off its feet as the missiles struck. Half slammed into its side, the others rained down on the Silver's shoulder and waist. One struck it in the knee. An explosion buckled its leg and with a bellow the Silver Wildcat, holding twice its weight aloft, fell to one knee and the Black Wildcat was returned to the ground. It twisted in its opponent’s grasp and went for the long vulnerable curve of the back of the Wildcat's bowed neck, but as it lunged the other's head came whipping around. Sunny was thrown roughly sideways in her seat as the world around her erupted into an ear splitting BOOM as the two cockpits crashed into each other. They swung apart again, but her Wildcat was still keeping a grip on their attacker and frustrated, it tried again. Ocelot did the only thing currently left open to him and again slammed his head back around. This time the wind shield cracked. Sunny screamed. The Black Wildcat pulled back and with a shove got the Silver Wildcat far enough away to be exposed to its cannon. Ocelot swore and both Wildcats' cannons swung rapidly around to meet the other, Sunny fired and the two machines were flung backwards from recoil and impact. She fought to right the Wildcat before they came back under attack but they had the disadvantage. Ocelot could see the Black Wildcat regain its footing and got ready to take a second shot from their awkward position, even as he tried to get what remained of their legs back under them.  
  
Liquid eyed up the long barrel of Ocelot's cannon—ignoring the damage reports and the pain in the base of his neck where the shell had hit—sizing up his chances against the sharpshooter in a shoot out. The Silver Wildcat was almost back up on its feet. The Black Wildcat lent back on its haunches and dived under the cannon as Ocelot took another shot. The shot ran down the Black Wildcat's spine lifting off sensors and grenade launchers and finally ploughed into the base of its thick tail. Liquid looked up, seeing the other Wildcat's long maw open up in front of him, filled with long flexing teeth. The Black Wildcat avoided the bite, hooked one arm around the Silver's weakened shoulders and sunk its fangs into the prototype's throat and started to drag it downwards. The Silver Wildcat screamed and wrenched its jaws around as far as it could, synthetic muscles tearing under the force the other's jaws were putting on them. They felt one side of the Wildcat's jaws engage with the other's throat, and Sunny threw them back and sideways as they mimicked Liquid's grapple. The Black Wildcat's weight falling forwards forced it deeper into the Wildcat's jaws, and its own teeth started to tear chunks out of the protective coverings that were all that stood between it and defeating them for good if it could only get deep enough.  
  
The Silver Wildcat arched its stiff back and pushed its back legs up under the Black Wildcat, heaving it off, even as it clung to them and pushed in closer, its weight and their strength keeping the two Wildcat's twisted up together and at a dangerous stalemate.  
_Get us loose!  
_ Sunny felt Ocelot distance himself suddenly, leaving the chassis feeling both empty and vivid as an extension of her own will. It was damaged and now the extent of it was sinking in. One leg was compromised, bipedal locomotion would be an added risk right now, but one forelimb was missing entirely and she struggled to retain the use of her own right arm as her brain insisted it was badly hurt. Hydraulic system 1 was already disabled entirely, either the shot to their side, or the jaws crushing down on the Wildcat's throat, she wasn't sure. Sunny redirected the nanomachines away from the hydraulics, system 1 could wait, they still had the other two, and focused on patching up the damaged knee. She avoiding looking up through the wind shield, there wasn't much to see anyway, just the Black Wildcat's massive shoulders as it bared down on them. She armed the laser.  
  
\---  
  
Liquid looked up with a snarl in time for Ocelot to charge into him. He was thrown onto his back and the older man leapt on him, a flurry of fists beating down on Liquid's head before the younger man bucked him off and they got back to their feet. Ocelot had recovered faster than he anticipated. Liquid, still reeling that he hadn't been able to block Ocelot out of his head and trying to figure out how to block him out, was caught in the chin by a powerful cross punch. He staggered backwards, the second punch didn't land, Liquid swung up with a vertical kick, hearing Ocelot's teeth crack together with satisfaction.   
  
\---  
  
Sunny couldn't blink as she watched the laser's power on the HUD crawl up, the world seemed horribly still even under the grinding weight on top of them and the sound of popping and crunching components. She could feel the battle that had been taken into the Black Wildcat's VR. She knew Ocelot was giving her a chance, distracting Liquid, she doubted he would let his guard down again. The two BBR registered Metal Gear were open to communication by default, but he would soon find a way to fix that.  
  
\---  
  
Liquid was thrown back bodily by the spinning heel kick. Ocelot's spurs left a bloody gouge in his cheek and he spat out blood as he got back to his feet, eyeing up Ocelot as he did so. The older man was circling him, hands up, in a loose half crouch position that brought Liquid back to his childhood. For a moment his eyes widened, struck with the realisation that Ocelot had sparred with the likes of Big Boss long before he'd even been born. He snarled and forced the thoughts downwards. Ocelot fought to keep his face impassive as he saw the twitching face before him shift; eyes widen, then narrow in rage Liquid bared his teeth. Ocelot saw him loose his temper and the younger man charged, reeling back one arm. Ocelot moved to deflect the punch and Liquid changed stance fluidly and pushed Ocelot back with a rapid series of switch kicks to his stomach and sides.  
  
He blocked Ocelot's winded attempt at an elbow strike and swept his leg out from under him, throwing Ocelot over his arm. He didn't expect Ocelot to throw himself into it, cartwheeling neatly over back onto his feet and turning the throw back on Liquid who was unable to match the other's agility. Ocelot however did not have time to get out of the way when Liquid rolled back onto shoulders and pushed off the ground, landing both feet squarely in the middle of Ocelot's chest before he pushed off and back flipped back onto his feet, instantly falling back into a fighting stance where he stood over Ocelot, prone and winded.  
  
\---  
  
Around her the Wildcat shifted, falling closer to the ground, whatever had just happened had caused a massive shift in power, her Wildcat's grip was loosened and the Black Wildcat was able to get one paw on their chest and was lifting its head upwards. The laser indicator blinked on the HUD and she slammed her numb hand down on the trigger. The iris opened and the powerful cutting laser sliced at full power across the Black Wildcat's belly.  
  
\---  
  
Liquid shrieked, faltering mid attack, Ocelot rolled aside, shot Liquid one last wild eyed look and withdrew. Sunny felt him return and the Wildcat wrenched free of the Black Wildcat as it bellowed. A gash had opened up in its stomach, and where the composite sagged back a mess of innards were exposed. Ocelot didn't hesitate to loose the last of his missiles on the vulnerable point, three hit, the others were shot out of the sky by the Black Wildcat's guns, but the gash had been torn open roughly, violet hydraulic fluid spilled out from the wound and a mess of torn up cables, tubes and air ducts hung out of the partly disembowelled Metal Gear. It wasn't enough to stop it, but it stood stunned for a moment and they took advantage of Liquid's momentary discomposure to back up and take the time to aim the cannon properly.  
  
The Black Wildcat looked for its opponent as Liquid came to realise the attack hadn't been the end of him, and found himself staring down the barrel of Ocelot's gun. He started to turn away, flames licked the muzzle of the cannon and the Black Wildcat was hit squarely. The shell ripped into the side of its skull under its radome and its head snapped back hard, exposing its throat, the second shot entered under the jaw, hit it in the base of the neck and went ripping into its body cavity. The Black Wildcat was thrown backwards by the duel impact but caught itself on its hind legs. Paws cycling almost humorously in mid-air for a moment before it slowly fell back onto all fours. Sunny wailed in horror as she realised the attack had missed the Metal Gear's vital components, unlike the Silver Wildcat its core wasn't one central block, someone had anticipated the opening to the throat being used as an attack point. The Silver Wildcat staggered backwards, cannon already recycling, but the recoil having taken its toll on its damaged knee.  
  
"O-celot…"  
_Sunny there's something wrong with it.  
_ "W-w-what? Somet-t-thing we c-c-can use?"  
_I think so. There was no... balance, when I was inside his VR there was no one in charge of the chassis, it didn't move, did it?  
_ "N-no. Just un-un-under its own weight."  
_I don't think there's a pilot.  
_ "B-but we h-heard—"  
_I know. But I don't think it was him.  
_ "M-maybe he doesn't kn-know how to work the w-wildcat c-c-correctly."  
_Maybe..._ Ocelot murmured.  
  
The Wildcat squared up its damaged shoulders and bellowed.  
"LIQUID!"  
The Black Wildcat screamed right back, wordlessly.  
"All these years gone by, and you still can't beat me, boy?"  
"Just enjoying the chance to tear you apart, one limb at a time!" He spat. "No Big Boss to help you this time!"  
"I never needed Big Boss' help with you, Eli."  
"Don't call me that!"  
"What? Eli? Still don't like that name eh? Reminds you too much of the past?"  
"Shut up!"  
"How no one cared when you left? Is that it?"  
"I escaped!"  
"They forgot about you! Not worth wasting time on! Not when they had your brother…"  
"They may have had their favourite, but it worked out for me! I got my freedom!"  
"Your what? Freedom?" Ocelot laughed at him. "And here I was thinking you were trapped, trying to follow in your father's footsteps?"  
"I'll be a better Big Boss than he ever was!" The Black Wildcat's claws dug into the oil slick ground. "Not that you'll be around to see that!"  
"A better Big Boss?" Ocelot purred. "Oh Eli, you couldn't even best your brother! How do you expect to defeat Big Boss now? Big Boss and me?"  
"I don't see him here!" Liquid snapped. "But then this wouldn't be the first time he's left you alone now would it?"  
  
Sunny felt a ripple of uncertainty through him.  
"It's okay." She whispered. "Big Boss is backing us up, we can call him any time, he's with you."  
The Silver Wildcat pushed out its dented chest and bared its flexing teeth with dry laughter.  
"Well now, Eli, that's the difference between you and I."  
"What's that now?"  
"I have confidence."  
"In what?" The Black Wildcat's jaws snapped together with a crack of doom. "In one selfish old man's need to keep his loyal dog alive to do his bidding?"  
"In myself."

"HA!"  
"You on the other hand were willing to believe anything I told you." The Silver Wildcat dropped into a long slow limping stride, circling closer to the irate Black Wildcat, which started to mirror their movements to keep the gap between them. "You really should have stayed in England, Eli, finished your education."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"Recessive genes, Eli! You were the 'unwanted' son, the 'weaker', the 'sacrifice' to make your brother strong." The Black Wildcat growled, urging Ocelot on. "In Dr Clark's experiment both sons would have that one key set of genes that gave Big Boss his talent on the battlefield, but one would have his flaws removed, and in the other, they were encouraged, the idea was to see which one flourished: the one without the father's weaknesses, or the one that had to fight for everything he wanted."  
"And didn't I fight!?"  
"Oh you did. You fought. But you miss my point, Eli. You were so ready to believe you were the inferior twin, it fed your own sense of self pity: being the unwanted, unloved, inferior twin—"  
"Shut up!"  
"But that was always your brother."  
  
The Black Wildcat slammed its paws into the ground, "SHUT UP!"  
Ocelot snapped: "You've had every benefit, Eli! And yet you've failed at everything you did!"  
"Benefit? What benefit! You know what they did to me! Born to be the looser! But I refuse!"  
Ocelot laughed again and Liquid yelled at him to stop.  
"You're still not listening are you, Eli?"  
"What are you talking about!?"  
The Silver Wildcat rumbled. "Smoking, that strange obsession with boxes, ASD, hell he even spoke one less language than you! Well done on that by the way, I'm sure that was intentional…"  
"Get to the point!"  
Ocelot snapped. "Are you just denying it now? You even had the initiative to take your life into your own hands as a child! Orchestrated the theft of an entire Metal Gear by your own little army at 12 years old! Solid was always the 'inferior' twin, Dr Clark's own little pet project to see what would happen if the ideal genes she had expressed in you were absent in him, if his father's flaws were left intact. He'd have hated to know it, but he was just like his father: flawed, human, natural. Not a perfect copy as you know, but not a perfected copy either."  
"You're lying…"  
"Am I?"  
  
The words hung in the air like a threat as Liquid wrestled with the idea. He'd accepted it easily, it had enforced all his hatred for Big Boss and those behind his birth, but Ocelot... Had told him the story he'd accepted. And Ocelot was a traitor, had used him…  
"You know it's true, Eli. Solid Snake was not a normal man, but he was inferior to you: the perfect son, the adaptable, the changeable one, fluid, Liquid, and he defeated you anyway."  
"LIAR!"  
"Your father rejected you. Venom Snake defeated you, Solid Snake killed you, and now I shall destroy you once and for all."  
"I'LL KILL YOU!"  
"And if I fall, your father will be there to ground you into the dust, where you belong SNAKE!"  
  
The Black Wildcat's roar was ear splitting through the broken wind shield as it blindly charged, the Silver Wildcat reared up and threw a blow forwards. Its claws impacted the Black Wildcat's full speed charge and the enraged Metal Gear's damaged jaw ruptured and its canopy blew out in large fractures. It reeled back, as if dazed. Visible through the broken canopy the limp broken body of Mr Lewis could be seen slouched over the controls, unresponsive.  
_Sunny, I'm not reading any vitals.  
_ "N-none? D-dead...?"  
_If he wasn't, he is now. That's it, Sunny, that's what felt unbalanced! Liquid was controlling his pilot!  
_ "T-then... He's not in full c-control of his b-body, he d-doesn't know how to-to use it!"  
Ocelot shouted aloud: "You always did end up alone Liquid, too eager to sacrifice your own men!"  
_You with me, Sunshine?  
_ "Aren't I always?"  
  
Liquid hissed but couldn't right himself, suddenly his controls had been taken from him, and he was left fumbling with his strange body. He could only watch in horror as the Silver Wildcat prowled towards him, not even bothering to rush as the cannon tracked over his vulnerable body. The Metal Gear approaching was a battered mess, one arm missing, one leg buckling with each step; its throat half ripped out and any number of its hooked gripping teeth left in its opponent's neck. But its cannon was intact and trained on Liquid's head. The Black Wildcat swiped awkwardly but didn't have the strength of will or the coordination to make much of an impact. It batted at the old Wildcat with all the effectiveness of a kitten.  
  
Sunny flexed her hands and circled her thumb over the trigger, feeling a smile, maybe hers, probably Ocelot's, creeping over her face.  
"We'll make this quick." Ocelot rumbled. "And neat. You see, I think we'll keep your chassis." He reared up to shove the Black Wildcat back, it stumbled and slumped onto its side before crawling back onto all fours.   
_Keep talking._ Liquid willed, as each movement got him closer to fully understanding the chassis. _Y_ _ou love talking.  
_ "What?" Liquid bit back. "Want a trophy?"  
"Nothing so petty, in fact I fully intend to forget all about you. Your father will inherit this chassis, Outer Heaven will rise again, just like you'd hoped, but without you. There is only room in this world for one Big Boss. You of all people should know that, Eli."  
"And what about Sunny?"  
"Sunny?" Ocelot echoed mildly.  
"How long before you loose control of her?"  
"C... Oh so that's what you meant? You were right, you're nothing like me. I don't have to force my pilot to do anything, she and I are partners."  
  
The Black Wildcat surged forwards huge jaws gaping brokenly, Sunny blinked at the cavernous maw opening before her. The cannon blossomed with fire, the Black Wildcat ground to a halt before them, and Sunny stared out through the back of its head, and what remained of its electronic brain.  
  
\---  
  
The Wildcat stood, frozen in place over the body of its fallen enemy. Sunny slumped back in her chair, mind seeking somewhere, anywhere other than here, and found white flowers, and safe walls and her friend safe in the shadow of his home.  
  
Jack, who'd lost his grip on his sword when he'd been thrown off the Wildcat and been forced to withdraw or risk being crushed, appeared from the debris to find his weapon and be grateful he didn't have to take home any major injuries to Rose.  
  
The Otselotovaya Khvatka soldiers quickly took control of the base. They flushed out the last remaining civilians and escorted everyone Hal had lead out into the abandoned airfield, back into the offices to temporarily hold them until their commanders were attending. The old RAY that had gotten them into the base remained outside the walls, reluctant to step into the base—but it wasn't as if there was any threat that required their attention now.   
  
In the distance the King Ray had been given the go ahead to stand down and begin its approach, the base had been secured. The Black Wildcat was down. There was no need for bombardment.  
  
\---  
  
Sunny and Ocelot sat with their backs against the sandstone brick of the memory of the Vista Mansion. They were slumped against each other and neither could quite tell where one's thoughts ended and the other's began. Sunny could just as easily feel claws resting on broken concrete, the absence of an arm, as he could feel a rushing heart beat and bruises from being bashed about the cockpit. Slowly she raised her head, or maybe he looked down at her, and they laughed weakly.  
  
"I don't think I actually expected us to survive that." Said one of them.  
"Me neither." Said the other, or maybe both at once.  
Flowers rippled, there was no breeze.  
"Your uncle is approaching."  
"That's a start."  
"Huh? Oh. Heh. Good."  
"He wouldn't be happy if we couldn't get... Untangled quickly." They sat up simultaneously and pushed their colourless hair from their eyes, but they were reluctant to move further. Silence stretched between them, as much as it could when every thought seemed as if spoken, and Ocelot's thoughts were clear.  
  
"You did the hard work." Sunny responded.  
"But you pulled the trigger." He turned to look at her. "You did it, Liquid Snake is finally dead."  
"Not until those computers are destroyed and every last remaining trace of him erased from BBR's records, for good."  
"For good."  
"No more Snakes. Well..." Ocelot smiled. "Only room for one, right?"  
"Right." He reached over with his one remaining arm to squeeze her shoulder. "Don't worry, Sunshine, I'll keep a close eye on him."  
"Yeah... And I'll be keeping an eye on you."  
"Does that mean—?"  
"I'm still thinking about it, but you knew that already, didn't you?"  
He smiled lopsidedly, "Sure I did."  
  
\---  
  
Sunny dropped down from the cockpit, unsteady on her feet, and immediately was swept up from Ocelot's gentle support into her uncle's arms. She hadn't realised how afraid she'd been she wouldn't see him again until he was there, and she clung desperately to him and shivered as she looked around over his shoulder. The Black Wildcat was sprawled on the apron, its skull shattered, in a pool of its own robotic gore. The Silver Wildcat stood like a twisted gargoyle over it. Darkly clad soldiers crawled over the base, making claim to the once civilian site, the front of the office block was a scarred mess, most of the windows shattered, the hangars were almost inaccessible, but it was done. The base was theirs, Liquid was dead, Big Boss was back and he had his army.  
  
Ocelot was right: Outer Heaven would rise again.  
  
She buried her face into her uncle's shoulder and he stared bleakly over hers. He stared at the shimmering projection of Ocelot; stood by his own chassis' claws. The bloodied old gunman looked tired but he was smiling. A faint smile that seemed out of place and, against the backdrop of carnage, sinister. Hal frowned and subconsciously tightened his grip on his adopted daughter.


	64. Epilogue: Outer Heaven

" _Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run  
There's still time to change the road you're on._ "

\--

Stairway to Heaven

  


" _We will forsake our countries. We will leave our motherlands behind us and become one with this earth. We have no nation, no philosophy, no ideology. We go where we're needed, fighting, not for government, but for ourselves. We need no reason to fight. We fight because we are needed. We will be the deterrent for those with no other recourse. We are soldiers without borders, our purpose defined by the era we live in. We will sometimes have to sell ourselves and services. If the times demand it, we'll be revolutionaries, criminals, terrorists. And yes, we may all be headed straight to hell. But what better place for us than this? It's our only home. Our heaven and our hell. This is Outer Heaven._ "

\--

Big Boss, 1974

There was no shortage of misgivings or criticisms about the take over. The whole town collectively held its breath as the soldiers made themselves at home. The locals talked in hushed worried voices, and BBR begrudgingly made a deal and took their Metal Gear away but left the base to its new occupants, with certain agreements in place. There was a media frenzy when original staff off the base were released, after being screened for more of Ingwe’s moles. Along with them were Hal and Sunny, Otselotovaya Khvatka’s official stance were that Hal had been manipulated into helping them access the bass through threats made to Sunny’s well being, as for Sunny herself she’d had no option but to play along or never be able to return home safely again. There were details, their stories were not always believed, but they were popular. When Robert’s body was inspected, the similarities to the King Ray’s original test pilots could not be missed, and with that in mind there were soon ideas buzzing around that Sunny had not just agreed to help Ocelot, she’d had no option, as her nanomachines allowed him to play her like a puppet. Once the attentive reporters were reminded of Screaming Mantis, one of Liquid Ocelot’s elite soldiers from years before, who’d used soldier’s nanomachines to control them, the story ran itself.  
  
Nothing could be proven, there were plenty of people willing to bare witness that the Black Wildcat had been antagonistic, that Mr Lewis had been behind attempts on the Wildcat’s ‘life’, and while people were willing to argue back and forth all day if it would have technically been murder. No one could deny that as long as Ocelot was conscious, he was justified in defending himself and he’d done it without killing anyone on base. Anyone human anyway. BBR had given up the space legally, though not all of that agreement was made public, and already reconstruction on the walls and buildings was underway.  
  
Then, slowly, the fear died down, died completely. The townspeople got into a new routine with a new company living side by side with them. In many ways nothing really changed, not for a while at any rate. Large vehicles still came and went, militaristic looking men and women, Metal Gear—large and small—and it wasn’t long before the people who’d been released from the captured base stopped worrying about the potential loss of their jobs or home, or safety.  
  
The helmeted soldiers took off their sinister masks and became human beings out of armour, exploring the town. Those who'd feared lost income were promised their jobs back, with no more expectation that they remain with Outer Heaven than anyone else, they were not expected to fight or bare arms unless they wished to pursue a life outside their previous role. Time moved on, the Balam made themselves a regular presence and Outer Heaven started to get contracts. At first the going was slow, the wall’s repairs went on hold more than once. Then the roads outside of town feeding the base got attention, the airfield became shrouded in a concrete slab wall and many of the towns dissatisfied youth got their first construction job repairing the runway. The base rarely seemed quiet, for all the soldiers sent on contracts there seemed to be more filing in from outside, there were whispers that what had been taken to be one small PMC had in fact been a small part of one very large one. Certainly Outer Heaven seemed to have summoned funds out of the very earth itself. Unbeknownst to the people outside of the base however, the new PMC was scrambling to make up the money it was spending on repairs and refurbishment.  
  
There was a mystique surrounding the return of Big Boss, his name proceeded him. The overweight fledgling of a PMC found its first jobs were secured based on peoples' curiosity in Big Boss' legendary prowess as much as Otselotovaya Khvatka's history, but their excellent record won them further contracts. Transportation, housing and food were among the company’s primary concerns, but the first of Outer Heaven's new helicopters was greeted with a celebration that involved breaking into far more of their new stores of food than was really wise.  
  
There were pleasant side effects to having the soldiers on the fringes of town. It rapidly became a plausible career move, with far more upwards growth and value put on individual skills and abilities than had been the case when it was a BBR site. And although the initial relationship had been chilly, BBR’s representatives were invited to the base regularly, involved in the building work and encouraged to work with the PMC, which, with a handful of wilful but aged RAY, two badly damaged Wildcats and the King Ray—the chassis of which was promised to BBR—was going to required someone with experience and expertise in maintaining and repairing advanced Metal Gear.  
  
A side of Ocelot that Sunny had only seen glimpses of before flourished under Snake’s hesitant leadership. The local hospital grew in size as Outer Heaven worked with it to ensure its troops had care, then Outer Heaven’s personnel were working there. People often wondered how long it would take before the Hospital simply belonged to them, but the promise of funding attracted new staff and quality of care skyrocketed under Ocelot’s critical gaze. Sometimes literally, as either he or a smaller representative oversaw developments. A psychiatric ward was opened, after some shaking of heads from the unsure locals, it was soon seeing patients, not always from among the combat troops. Even the local school received a boost, though they were under careful watch for signs of indoctrination from the outside, no one was entirely sure they wanted to say ‘no’ to this money but they had to draw the line somewhere! Or so they assured themselves, and the town. Outer Heaven seemed to agree, Ocelot’s public attitude was firm on the subject of orphans scooped up off the battlefield: whatever else they were getting an education and they were not going to be raised as soldiers, their options would be the same as anyone else’s. Snake bowed to his will on this.  
  
Rose and Jack became semi-permanent residents on base on Sunny's behest. Snake was a patient that couldn't afford missed appointments. He dutifully attended least Ocelot's wrath fall upon him, which it did on a fairly regular basis for a while, before he concocted a way to make Snake warm to Rose and believe it to be entirely of his own accord. Ocelot himself was somewhat harder for Rose to pin down, but he agreed, reluctantly, to give it a go to support John. Shortly after he made his visits to her a regular affair Rose was invited to lead their psychiatric department and to remain on base as their employee. Jack had been at a looser end, refusing straight off to even consider becoming one of their soldiers, he’d mostly hung around the base and made himself busy as best he could. Until Snake had engaged him in conversation one evening and discovered he’d studied at length to be able to offer Roy nursing care in their own home during the old Colonel’s last days, and then gone on to work as a carer for some time, until the exhausting work and horrendous pay had gotten him down. A suggestion to Ocelot had quickly found Jack cornered and asked if he wanted to ‘apprentice’ in the medical staff. He accepted, and quickly found himself at home and welcome for his nimble hands and patient friendly attitude.  
  
Despite the town's initial misgivings of the new base the industrial, agricultural and business opportunities caused a flurry of growth in the immediate area. Desperate to give the sudden invasion a positive spin the governor lorded this as a success, Outer Heaven would be welcome as long as it was good for the state. On whether or not the state was good for them, Snake and Ocelot were unsure. Though the base flourished neither were content with its position and both preferred the idea of returning to sea, but in their current states that was not practicable, nor did either of them have an answer for the threat of true Arsenal Gear, which were rare beasts, but did still exist. Land bound or sea going, either way Outer Heaven was potentially under threat of attack. This had always been true, Snake pointed out. Ocelot nodded, but turned his eyes to the sea, to the past, and wondered just how much a down payment on an Arsenal Gear would be.  
  
\---  
  
With the adamant statement about their being unwilling accomplices, and Hal and Sunny's expulsion from the base, they narrowly missed serious retribution for breaking the terms of Hal's freedom. The media attention they got died down once it became obvious they had every intention of being as quiet and boring as possible, and they had a lot of opportunities at practising this front. Sunny continued to work in secret with West, while slowly reconnecting with her shocked friends from before Ocelot's arrival had upturned her social life. West’s secret had been a revolutionary idea for a new kind of electronic brain that might allow the massive AI computers to be shrunk down to almost human-brain size. Too revolutionary it turned out. It didn't work. But it was an interesting concept and they intended to pursue it. Sunny and West's main project became something quite different however, inspired by Liquid's plan to hijack Robert Lewis' body for his own purposes. While Sunny considered using a real human body impractical, inhumane and of course illegal she was quick to point out to West that a cybernetic body would be far more effective a puppet, with the bonus that it wouldn't decompose quite so rapidly or have upset family members looking for it.  
  
By the time Sunny returned to the base no one was looking at her with suspicion, or concern. If anyone questioned her behaviour it didn’t seem too much of a stretch that between the job opportunities here, and the potential struggle she’d have finding a position anywhere else, she might come back, reluctantly, to people who’d previously manipulated her. Maybe the pay offered to someone with her abilities, to persuade her into returning could be passed off as just that tempting.  
  
\---  
  
About two months into the base’s refurbishment a pair of sleek black helicopters, nominally working for a Canadian PMC. They were carrying a number of soldiers dressed smartly in uniforms that appeared to have nothing to do with Otselotovaya Khvatka's or Outer Heaven’s new outfits. They landed within the bases walls, and the soldiers filed out and lined up at attention, if they were curious about their surroundings they didn’t show it. They didn’t even glance at the mirroring group of black clad Otselotovaya Khvatka troops, or their commanding officer standing beside them. Behind the new troops then an old Black African man with hair so white it almost looked bleached, had climbed stiffly out onto the apron under his own power and rattled a suspiciously noisy cane against the concrete. Unlike his crew, he’d gazed, grinning, around at the new base, greedily drinking it all in.  
  
Had Sunny and Hal been there to see his arrival they might have recognised the old man, who was still wearing a form of his preferred half-suit half-camouflage ensemble. One had become the leader of Otselotovaya Khvatka, not long after the DREBINs had swept in to take up the slack left by their deceased commander. He might have been a stranger to the majority of the base's personnel, recognised only by his chosen name, but Ocelot had recognised him immediately and crowed with delight that he hadn't been able to guess his identity.  
  
"EVA and I originally set up the DREBIN system for our own purposes," Ocelot hurriedly explained to Snake. "But the idea grew as the war economy took off, and eventually they broke off and became a force all of their own. One of their number worked with Solid Snake in 2014, all the weapons he could procure were ID locked, the DREBINs made it possible for him to use them, to get as far as he did."  
"Broke off? You say that like you didn't give us explicit instructions to keep an eye out for Old Snake." One laughed.  
Ocelot smiled fondly. "This might surprise you, Boss, but One and I go right back to Diamond Dogs. You remember the kids I told you about, Liquid's army? One came in with them, but chose to remain with us."  
"I probably wouldn't have made it to my 14th birthday if it hadn't been for Ocelot." One nodded. “Either the guns, the bombs or the Parasite we turned out to be carrying. But enough of that now, there’s time to reminisce later, and reminisce I shall, because I am old and have earned that right.” He rapped his cane on the ground. “But I'm glad I get to see you again, Shalashaska, after all these years. There aren't many of us Diamond Dogs left now, but we few never forgot. That's why I'm here now, Otselotovaya Khvatka should be back in the hands of its founder, I'm here to make sure that happens as it should.”  
  
\---  
  
The once familiar base had changed dramatically and Sunny stared around herself as she entered through the newly repaired and modified gates. The damage done by Ocelot and Liquid's battle had been repaired, but alongside repairs had been construction efforts that had rendered the office block unrecognisable: the base was sprouting new buildings left right and centre, they jostled up against the office building and were absorbed into it. The once airy windows were being removed, and what was left was a barefaced concrete obelisk with smaller more protected windows. Metal walkways and stairs clung to the outside like strange vines, and the security cameras seemed to be spreading like a fungus, now with additional gun turrets. A helicopter pad had sprouted up from the control tower, which had been reinforced appropriately. A low squat building with small barred windows had appeared over the top of what had once been access to a series of disused maintenance tunnels. It stood apart from the rest of the buildings, and a masked soldier in black and red tapped her fingers against her rifle as she stood guard by the single door. Sunny stared at this new building suspiciously as she was escorted across the apron towards what had once been the ATC tower.  
  
Suddenly the bright eyed young man who was escorting her stopped smartly in his tracks and she almost walked into him. Shaking herself out of her thoughts she looked up at the two figures striding towards them. Controlled from the main chassis with use of a site signal amplifier were two puppets, androids, which had allowed Snake and Ocelot to take imperfect, human but satisfactory control of their men. They did not seem out of place beside the organic humans around them, though the faces they bore struck Sunny as being out of their time, more like ghosts now than any faded translucent projection. Despite this misgiving, Sunny stared openly in appreciation. Whomever West had put in charge of constructing the machines' bodies and faces based on his and Sunny’s instructions had done an exemplary job and when Ocelot smiled at her she couldn't spot a single major deviation from the projection she was used to. Plenty of minor ones though, she thought to herself. The job had been done well, but she already felt the need to fine tune it.  
  
Sunny hesitated, knocked loose from her thoughts by her escort greeting his commanders. She was here today as a member of Outer Heaven and before her now we're its leaders. Soldiers saluted them if they passed close by, it didn’t seem to be a given, but she wondered what she was expected to do, was she supposed to salute, or not? What was Ocelot to her now?  
  
She was still uncertain and shaken as, grinning lopsidedly, Ocelot stepped up to her and made a flamboyant gesture towards himself.  
"What do you think?"  
She snatched the opportunity to talk about something she knew: "West really out did himself!" It came out in a rush.  
"Nonsense, we both know how much of this was your design."  
Sunny looked down smiling to herself.  
"It's changed everything." He continued. "Thank you. From both of us."  
  
"He's right." Snake finally rumbled. "Thanks to you and West we can finally run this place like we should. And feel human doing it." The two men glanced at each other. “Mostly.”  
Sunny looked up to see Ocelot’s concerned look turn into a fond smile, and as he was glancing over his shoulder at Snake, she took the opportunity to appreciate some of the finer details in his construction.  
He looked back at her. "Your uncle has decided not to take us up on our offer then?"  
"No... Not yet anyway.” She shook her head. “He's avoiding saying as much but I think he kind of enjoyed being a part of the take over, despite the stress it caused him. He’s torn now."  
Snake grimaced. "Glad it was good for him at least, I didn't enjoy seeing what had become of Ocelot when I got here."  
"The other Wildcat has been in and out of the hangars ever since too. One fault after another, but it's getting there."  
"I don't know what we'd do without these bodies."  
"Go back to haranguing the engineers probably." Sunny said pointedly at Ocelot.  
  
Snake grunted. "So are you taking it from here?"  
"Yes, of course Boss. The men need you, badly—teach them something before they get themselves killed."  
"Heh, only because you're too busy running the place to keep up with lessons, we need to fix that." He offered his hand and Sunny shook it. "It's good to have you with us again. Ocelot has missed you."  
"Boss."  
"Well it's true isn't it?" He shot back. "I hope you like what we've done with the place, Sunny."  
  
They watched Snake, the Big Boss of Outer Heaven, return to whence he came. Overhead atop the control tower the grinning white skull of Outer Heaven snapped in the breeze alongside the stoic feline face of Otselotovaya Khvatka's own flag.  
  
The muffled sound of a helicopter starting up came over from the airport side and armed guards patrolled, relaxed in their new home. Sunny, lost in taking in all the changes and struck by the direction she'd taken, jumped when Ocelot's hand came to rest between her shoulder blades.  
Outer Heaven's executive officer, head of Intel and chief interrogation advisor and irregular instructor for the troops, smiled gently at her and became her friend once again.  
  
"Come on." He said. "Let's get you reacquainted with the old place. Hmn? There’s someone I’d like to introduce you to."  
"Everything's changed so much already..."  
"We still have a long way to go."  
"And what you said before…?"  
"You are under no obligations my dear. Stay or go, but as long as you wish it to be Outer Heaven is your home, your family."


End file.
